Eddie is an example of a human being who won the genetic roll of the dice and used the winnings to treat the entire casino to a round of food and drinks.
@@tottenhamhotspurish I once attended an Eddie Izzard performance during the 1990s and literally nobody said the words "Ricky" or "Gervais". Perhaps you're mistaking Ricky Gervais with Ricky Butcher from the popular BBC soap opera entitled Eastenders?
According to John Cleese he got funny through sheer force of will and repetition. From my own point of view I can chuckle a few times and admit that he’s certainly clever, but he never really makes me belly-laugh. Clever > funny
Hell Son, do you want to grow up where I was a kid? My part of Texas got more sun than the Sunshine state. Then I joined the Army, where was I always stationed , in fucking sunny places. When I was stationed in Germany, they had the best sun in decades. Dude, I love you're country (are you the free part), anyway, I have been to Shannon twice. Both times it was sunny. Dude, I will trade you damp and gloomy for sunshine any day. Sunny days are so depressing.
I am in love with Eddie Izzard. I can’t help myself.. I love him in men’s clothes.. I love him in women’s clothes.. I’ve really got it bad for Eddie. 💜 Never known anyone else like him!!
So, you are not American. I will forgive you. Come visit. Depends on where you go, hell depends on the state, you will get hospitality and good food. Oh, the Union. Well I don't know about them.
@@joshuataylor3550 the comment was from over 3 years ago, use your head and think about why you have such an impulse to control others’ speech even when it’s irrelevant or unreasonable
One of the most ingratiating traits of Eddie Izzard is he really seems to be enjoying himself up there. Even when he’s in midstream and you can see him trying to to come with what to say next. It’s those moments when he makes himself laugh. It’s like he just thought of something he hadn’t thought of before, and we’re sharing a new moment with him.
you think he is ever ingratiating? i think that is fairly offensive to him and his art. ingratiating adjective intended to gain approval or favour; sycophantic. i think he never does things on stage simply to glean approval.
He is obviously a natural comedian, and embraces it so well, Eddie is one of those rare people who is able to entertain people without following set rules/ being a stereotype.
My favorite part is about the cake mix! I have always loved the batter more than the finished cake. Used to drive my grandmother nuts, since I pestered her to pour less and less into the form each time. :-D
My mom would always have us like the bowl when she made a cake. It wasn't until I was older that I began to wonder why she would have me lick it before she made the cake though.
He does a lot of his stand up in that outfit nowadays. But he still dresses ... in dresses and makeup when he's doing public work and political activism.
(my wife the squirrel escaped on a boat with an owl and a cat) "What did they take?" "They took a Gatling gun, chain mail and some iodine" 6:14 "That's not very poetic!
Eddie Izzard is one of the greatest! So, if he is right, we should expect to see now only lions and tigers, and squirrels...oh wait, Mrs. Squirrel escaped, didn't she? lol
Eddie. I love your sense of style and the way you combine male and female gender norms. I saw you recently with Trevor Noah. Your sense of style is timeless and iconic. Thank you for showing it off so well.
Damn! For years I've been puzzled over how the koalas got from Australia to the ark, and then back again after the flood. I mean, the things can't swim and we have the archeological record. Anyway, I've been puzzling away for years...and this guy just comes along and says the story isn't true. WHAT?! Why didn't I think of that... 😜
It is true. Same as the minor miracles and intercessions that happens to all of us through the Holy Spirit by Our Lord in our daily lives. Even witchcraft back in the days of old as written in the Holy Bible is true, what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, the plagues, the splitting of the sea by Moses. It's hard to comprehend without experiencing it but many of us whom was can testify till death and in Hell that just even by a one time experience alone of getting unveiled in spirit and seeing the hidden reality is far more hard to explain than insanity. Like an illusion though its not is how we feel of reality when it happens after realizing we were blinded by what's beyond it which is truth.
@@thebernardpurpose2525 Uh...what a bunch of nonsense. We have no more reason to believe the magical Bronze Age stories in the Bible then The Iliad, or any other legends passed down through centuries. Much of what you wrote isn't even comprehensible english. Are you drunk?
@@glenw3814 drunk, crazy, delusional, nonsense. That's how someone without the experience understands a witness. You are not to be persuaded to believe but to seek. Then you shall find. Lest, you only shall believe when it favors your contempt , as the hypocrites do of a generation seeking signs without a sincere grateful and humble heart to begin with. True nonsense is to think that a man is without a soul and that God and Evil does not exist.
@@thebernardpurpose2525 Why so presumptuous? I spent the first 24 years of my life as an evangelical christian. I read the Bible cover-to-cover and did my best to live according to the teachings of Jesus. You should not assume someone doesn't have the knowledge and experience to understand Christianity.
Imagine the amount of food required for 2 of every creature in the world for 40 days and 4o nights and then for all the days until the plants and animals repopulate.
And the varieties of foods for all the different animals insects and aquatic life plus fertilizer for plant life. Two of everyone! A couple of empty super tankers wouldn't cover it! And just Noah & fam cleaning up after all the animals. BTW some of insects only live a few days. Uh oh.
The challenge still stands for creationists: show it can be done. And I will even allow for accommodations. You may use MODERN construction equipment to construct a boat the size of the Titanic (which supposedly had dimensions three times the Biblical Ark) with a species count of only 16000 (as argued by creationists) and I will even allow all modern climate control and modern veterinarian medicine, and human attendants of not 8 illiterate family, but rather trained veterinarians, or even more if needed. Supplies and all, all provided. (assume all technology to make that happen as well) And then show that 90%+ actually survive after a year of isolation. (popular myth is that the whole event was just 40 days, when the Bible says it was 40 days and nights of the rain part: The Bible CLEARLY states that 40 days and nights are just the rain. Almost a year is to what it claims the ark was isolated, (not that it matters to the argument) By isolation I mean the one by the creationist Bible-literalist sense: windows open, but no animals in or out, no food in or out, and assume somekind of perfect air circulation. If at the end more than 90% of the species (and keep in mind, you may only have a PAIR of each species present at the start) survive to start a population that will grow to be viable, THEN I will become an advocate that Creationism should be considered as a valid scientific hypothesis.
Man.. have you ever watched a debat between a creationist and a scientist (or anyone else for that matter, except another creationist)? They will twist *everything*. 'Built the world in 7 days? Well, you have to understand that in the biblical sense, in the time they were alive, a day meant 500 years', and in that line, they'll prolly defend the rest of it too. If one could actually argue a point with a creationist, sure, a challenge would be fun - as it is, it would just be frustrating exercise ruining the fun for everyone :P
The Biblical creation myth + the story of the ark, points out three really serious problems with the whole belief in God bullshit. 1. God is ALL-POWERFUL (omnipotent) ... He created the world in 6 days and on the 7th, he rested. Regardless of how long any one of those days may have been - be they 24 hours or 1/2 a billion years - on the 7th day, God rested. He's all-powerful ... but he needed a nap? 2. God is ALL-KNOWING (omniscient) ... Not only did this, "all-knowing," being seem clueless to the inevitable forbidden fruit thing, according to Genesis 6:6 (the part about how God had regretted making mankind), God somehow did not see that whole flood thing coming either. I'm curious: How can an all-knowing being have regrets? Would he not know the eventual outcome of any decision he would ever make? All the human 'free-will' bullshit aside, would an all-knowing being not be aware of where that free-will would end up taking humanity? So tell me, how is it possible God had regrets? 3. Back to the forbidden fruit and it's connection to the flood and eventual self-sacrifice on the cross. Two ignorant teenagers ate a piece of fruit. For this, all of humanity needed to suffer for all of eternity. Yes, Adam and Eve would have been ignorant... Was that forbidden fruit not from the tree of knowledge... the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? In other words, before that point, Adam and Eve did not know any better... they were innocent and ignorant. But God told them not to eat from that tree ... he then left them alone - so much for omnipresence. Consider, according to the Bible, there were only two people on the planet at the time and God wasn't with them?Here's an experiment, for all you Christians: Take a child, set a full cookie jar in the middle of the kitchen floor, tell him to not touch the jar and leave the house for a couple days. Is there any way in Hell that jar is still full when you return? But, i am going off topic... back to the bible ... Fast forward to the flood. In this event, God spared the only righteous people on the planet and LITERALLY washed the world clean. But somehow, this, "loving and forgiving God," still saw fit to carry on with his plan of perpetual sin and his own self-sacrifice - followed by years of guilt and fundamentalism - all because two ignorant teenagers ate a piece of fruit! To any Christian reading this... how delusional must you be to believe any of it is real?
pop5678eye. you just need to carry the eggs. then artificially put the sperm.with each egg. that period was so ahead of its time, humans had discovered many things and could build amazing structures, but had become so abusive with it, god wanted to destroy all the knowledge we had built up to. so putting animals in two by two into a small space just meant carry the genetic code of each one. it is probably what will happen again when we go off to inhabit other planets.
40 days and 40 nights is funny as a joke...I spent a year as a travelling healthcare provider and paid for 3 nights at a hotel when I really only used 2, because I worked night shift. Arrived Fri evening, checked in, changed clothes, went to work. That's a full night I never used just so I would have some place to sleep the next day. They should have the option of early morning check in/check out.
Still hard to beat the hilarious insanity of the original source material: "After Genesis 6:3, the countdown was on. Then in verses 17 and 18, God said, “and you shall go into the ark-you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you” (Genesis 6:18). Notice that Noah had sons who already had wives. Noah didn’t have his first son of record until he was 500 years old, and the Flood came 100 years later (Genesis 7:6). Allowing 25-30 years for the sons to grow up and get married, we’re left with perhaps 70 years to build the Ark." Lovely to find incest being the basis of human expansion just as in the beginnings. Clean and unclean animals weren't defined until the giving of THE LAW. And don't get me started on salinity and osmotic pressure.
The most exciting story is missing from here: When the ark reached land at the top of the Ararat mountain (in Asia), the 2 happy kangaroos jumped out from the boat, and asked Noah, where they should live now. Noah told them: Australia. The kangaroos: Hey mate, do not fuck with us please! Australia is an island, and we cannot swim! And Noah kicked the kangaroos in the ass that they flied to Australia.
Füle Sándor reckon there is something in the great flood story. Reckon that part of the world took in animals from the part of the world. Other regions built there own boats.... Strange how we only have the Hebrew Bible as ancient history. Unless others animals arrived on the scene afterwards. History has been kept from us.... Bible is fill of lies. Unfortunately it has truth in it also. Otherwise you could throw it away. That's the frustrating part.
@@andrewcorbell7216 I agree, Andrew. I am sure, there are parts in the Bible which are more or less accurate history. Most myths have some real fundaments. We exactly know, there were serious local floodings around the Earth. And myths build up step by step.
Cliff Hanley yes, it's clear this happened.... The mythology is a little confused, however, it makes that more than one person was spoken to by God about this problem and some took care of the tigers in India along with the elephants as it seems a heck of a chore to go all the way over there to get them just to take them back afterwards. That's why the Noah account breaks down. However what there us is an overwhelming archeological body of evidence to support this cataclysmic event, called the great flood and I do believe the reasons for it... It doesn't make sense to me on a globe that all the land was in one place. And it was subsequently torn apart. The Bible says that all the waters were gathered together in one place.. This gives us clues to the nature of this reality. All the water flows down hill. Where does all the water go and what is happening when the tide is going out if it's not downhill. When the moon is on the opposite side of the earth to where tides are still happening makes a nonsense if the gravitational pull explanation for the tides. The creator explanation for our reality and the fact there is no Hebrew documentary history for man anywhere before the flood indicates that this absence if evidence alone supports a total flooding of earth narrative.
Sigh...the temperature, pressure, and salinity would kill most if not all aquatic life. Are people really this stupid? Considering how many people were puzzled by the possibility of a whale drowning, I suppose so. 🤦♂️
Aww, he missed the best part, where Noah builds an alter to God, sacrifices the extra "clean" animals and birds they brought along, and God promised never to do it again because he liked the smell ... even though we're all terrible and totally deserve mass genocide. Genesis 8:20-21 20 Then Noah built an altar to the Lord and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. 21 The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.
Of course Noah washed them first :P One version of the story has two of every kind, and the other has that plus 7 pairs of every "clean" kind, for future sacrifices and whatnot. "...even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood" Well, you would know, wouldn't you? You made us this way, ya genocidal prick!
And also missed something that makes it even less believable that tho it rained forty days and forty nights it was about a year before he landed. Gen 7:11 “In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on that day all the fountains of the great deep burst forth, and the windows of the heavens were opened.” Gen 8:13 In the six hundred and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried from off the earth. And Noah removed the covering of the ark and looked, and behold, the face of the ground was dry.” Genesis 7;11 on the second month seventeenth day the water comes. Genesis 8:13 ESV on the first month first day they disembark. I’m not positive about how many months a year we’re talking but they were lunar 28 day months. And specifically 40 days of rain 150 days before it started to subside, 150 days later mountain tops show, then 40 days later he starts sending out doves.
Noah had the DNA of the animals and a few to eat. He was also an alien as 600 years is very long for anything to live let alone a story from the bible.
they built a second ark for the fish, it had thousands of tanks for the fish and of course had lots of levels to keep the Carp in...……..yep Noah built a multi story Carp ark
Okay, so when the rain hit, weren't there people already on boats, just by chance? Like, fisherman, merchants, etc? Or people living near the docks, where they had boats? They wouldn't run out of water...it was raining. And the fisherman could, you know, fish.
Your kind of heretical :-), logical thinking reminds me of the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve had 3 sons and two daughters (depending whose translation you read) from which we all presumably descended. Either that, or Adam and Eve were playing footsy with their children. Either way, it's amazing that we're not all cretins with webbed feet.
Watched him for years. In fact, I played his classic "dressed to kill " way back when my kids had history classes. They loved history. And their written test answers I got calls from the teacher. "Mrs Florence, your son answered to the question of" Explain the colonists in the new land." His answer was ,"the natives had no form of ownership. No flag no country. " " Mrs Florence, it's true but not the answer I was looking for and where did he come up with that?" Not missing a beat, "I knew my son would be bored in history so I played a VHS of a comedian, who apparently teaches history better than you. And Sir, what did his buddies answer? Pretty much the same thing? Cuz they all watched it. Oh and just wait till WW I n II later this year, cuz they all sit at my kitchen table n play RISK on Rainey days.
The biblical flood is the 2nd craziest thing in the Buy Bull in my opinion right next to the Adam & Eve myth. But to be fair it's hard to rank them when there's so many idiotic things to choose from.
yes it takes at least 500 with a an injection of a couple hundred every 30 to 40 years(Polynesians). even in nature cloning is last ditch attempt at keeping the species going and only last for about 8 generations then extinction with out new genetic material.
Eddie is an example of a human being who won the genetic roll of the dice and used the winnings to treat the entire casino to a round of food and drinks.
Ricky Gervais’s joke about the ark was a lot more funny to me. That’s my subjective opinion.
He got both Male and female genetics.
@@tottenhamhotspurish I once attended an Eddie Izzard performance during the 1990s and literally nobody said the words "Ricky" or "Gervais". Perhaps you're mistaking Ricky Gervais with Ricky Butcher from the popular BBC soap opera entitled Eastenders?
According to John Cleese he got funny through sheer force of will and repetition. From my own point of view I can chuckle a few times and admit that he’s certainly clever, but he never really makes me belly-laugh. Clever > funny
@@connorveach5986 God! Are You Alive?
Perfect!😁
40 days and nights of rain, we call this summer in Ireland.
Seán O Foghlú Summer in Louisiana
Summer in Seattle
Tuesday in Rochester.
Hell Son, do you want to grow up where I was a kid? My part of Texas got more sun than the Sunshine state. Then I joined the Army, where was I always stationed , in fucking sunny places.
When I was stationed in Germany, they had the best sun in decades.
Dude, I love you're country (are you the free part), anyway, I have been to Shannon twice. Both times it was sunny.
Dude, I will trade you damp and gloomy for sunshine any day. Sunny days are so depressing.
Sounds like every season in Ireland.
"Is she there? There's no towels....." kills me every single time.
I am in love with Eddie Izzard. I can’t help myself.. I love him in men’s clothes.. I love him in women’s clothes.. I’ve really got it bad for Eddie. 💜 Never known anyone else like him!!
They're not women's clothes, they're Eddie's clothes
Eddie does a great American accent as the squirrel.
sounds like marky mark
Had a tinge of Marty Mcfly
So, you are not American. I will forgive you.
Come visit. Depends on where you go, hell depends on the state, you will get hospitality and good food.
Oh, the Union. Well I don't know about them.
He's in Hannibal as an American psycopath.
"Those stripy bastards killed everything man".....Hahahahaha......
Thank you Eddy ! Post pandemic rescue meds you are! Your a beautiful gift to humanity!
You're* a gift ...
Eddie is honestly the most authentic comedian. Never get tired of watching him.
Her.
This comment will get you banned for misgendering in September 2022…! 👀🧐😎😜🙄
Enough already with this nonsense.
Peace
@@joshuataylor3550 the comment was from over 3 years ago, use your head and think about why you have such an impulse to control others’ speech even when it’s irrelevant or unreasonable
@@Kryssi13 And his comment was 7 months before yours, yours is 2 months before mine, you could have kept on scrolling too 🤷♂️ Do you get bored a lot?
@@Primitive01 Of course I’m bored when I’m on RUclips…what do you think is the entire point of RUclips? 🥴
One of the most ingratiating traits of Eddie Izzard is he really seems to be enjoying himself up there. Even when he’s in midstream and you can see him trying to to come with what to say next.
It’s those moments when he makes himself laugh. It’s like he just thought of something he hadn’t thought of before, and we’re sharing a new moment with him.
you think he is ever ingratiating? i think that is fairly offensive to him and his art.
ingratiating
adjective
intended to gain approval or favour; sycophantic.
i think he never does things on stage simply to glean approval.
He is obviously a natural comedian, and embraces it so well, Eddie is one of those rare people who is able to entertain people without following set rules/ being a stereotype.
He wouldn’t “criticise” Muhammad. He’s definitely a stereotype who could get a lot more laughs if he joked about Islam too
She.
@@joshuataylor3550 Still a He at this time.
... one of those people who are* able to entertain (who refers to people) ...
@@joshuataylor3550
herhimtheywank.
Squid using himself as ink to write a trip advisor review! Guy is a genius.
Squid using its* own* ink ...
"We found a child". ROFL! His gestures are the best
#GoodSharks
This guy is a comedy genius!
Turns out, he is a regular genius, that also does comedy.
The squirrel "It was a nightmare man. Those stripey bastard's, they ate everyone man. Oh my god, I hid in a biscuit tin"
That had me in stitches.
... bastards* (plural, no apostrophe) ...
My favorite part is about the cake mix! I have always loved the batter more than the finished cake. Used to drive my grandmother nuts, since I pestered her to pour less and less into the form each time. :-D
A real live Child, we All felt like you:)))
two words: crunchy sugar.
Cake batter is delicious, but the trouble is, it has raw eggs in it, and that can cause sickness.
@@kenhollis6197 Mmmmm, potential food poisoning. Delicious! ;-)
My mom would always have us like the bowl when she made a cake. It wasn't until I was older that I began to wonder why she would have me lick it before she made the cake though.
Love you Eddie you're brilliant!!
There is not doubt in my mind that Eddie is the best comedian that ever lived! And I stand by my words
akotelnikov Try Frankie Boyle not everbodys taste
You should probably sit by your words or else your legs will get tired….
One of the best comedians ever.
..became a woke wanker.
@@Revelian1982 he became a woman,
@@geovarni No, he THINKS he is a woman. He is a man with a mental health issue where his brain makes him THINK he is a woman.
I live in the Netherlands, basically 3.5 meters below sealevel. And we have lots of rain.....
We're still here......
"He only had one leg to begin with"
"We found a child..."
I legit cried laughing when I reached that part 😂
"how can i be so sure? try it."
"it was a nightmare man, those stripy bastards killed everyone man..."
He taught Germans a sense of humor! This guy is unbelievable. We love you Eddie!!!
Don't be daft. Germans wouldn't find Eddie funny if they didn't already have a sense of humour.
I love Eddie Izzard!❤️
There's Eddie, and then there's the rest.
There was Eddie now i dont know what it IS ....neither does hé.
“You biscuit freak!” And “Iodinee” have got me laughing and I can’t stop. Gataling gun... hahahah I forgot how brilliant Izzard was.
It's weird seeing him in a suit and not a dress.
Personally, whatever; aesthetically, it's a relief.
Hé lookshumanhere
One of my favourite sketches from my youth.
I love that jacket, I want one just like it.
I've seen Eddie in a more feminine outfit than I have in a masculine one, this seeing him in jeans and a overcoat is so weird
He was probably wearing stockings and a garter underneath.
He does a lot of his stand up in that outfit nowadays. But he still dresses ... in dresses and makeup when he's doing public work and political activism.
What overcoat? That's a tailcoat.
Paul Reid I know 0 of fashion names. I’m lucky I even said overcoat
I think it was because he had facial hair for The Riches.
"We've found a child!" :) :)
He only had one leg to begin with.
Two words to resolve religious debates worldwide over the past 2000 years: "Try it". God bless you, Eddie.
The giant squid diary bit is genius
(my wife the squirrel escaped on a boat with an owl and a cat) "What did they take?" "They took a Gatling gun, chain mail and some iodine"
6:14 "That's not very poetic!
he backed himself into a corner and still made it out with everybody laughing lol
How do you mean?
Lovely:)
I love when he does an American accent.
He acts so lovely. That is why everyone recommends him for a new order in accordance to thier desire. In fact , he controls the stage. 🤗🤗🤗
💛💛🤣Eddie Izzard is so awesome. 🤣💛💛
His best.. the sharks are hysterical.. Trip Advisor...🤣🤣
"He only had one leg to begin with" :-)
Look forward to this being animated in Lego.
Goldfishes say after 150 days at sea: “That was quick”.
Clear-eyed, a masterful synthesis- worthy experience.
Eddie Izzard is one of the greatest!
So, if he is right, we should expect to see now only lions and tigers, and squirrels...oh wait, Mrs. Squirrel escaped, didn't she? lol
with and owl and a pussy cat, and a Gatling gun.
In a pea green boat!
I hid in a biscuit tin man! Im on the floor:)))
SIMPLY BRRRRRILLIANT👌👌😃😃😃 my FAVOURITE comic!!!!!! From Belgium
I love cake mix!
The bit about cake mix batter is genius.
Like a load of students with cake mix lol classic
Eddie. I love your sense of style and the way you combine male and female gender norms.
I saw you recently with Trevor Noah. Your sense of style is timeless and iconic.
Thank you for showing it off so well.
I liked him voice overed Angus Scatter good. Love his accent
Damn! For years I've been puzzled over how the koalas got from Australia to the ark, and then back again after the flood. I mean, the things can't swim and we have the archeological record. Anyway, I've been puzzling away for years...and this guy just comes along and says the story isn't true. WHAT?! Why didn't I think of that... 😜
They had big catapults too , the koalas loved it...weeeeeeeeeee!
It is true. Same as the minor miracles and intercessions that happens to all of us through the Holy Spirit by Our Lord in our daily lives.
Even witchcraft back in the days of old as written in the Holy Bible is true, what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, the plagues, the splitting of the sea by Moses.
It's hard to comprehend without experiencing it but many of us whom was can testify till death and in Hell that just even by a one time experience alone of getting unveiled in spirit and seeing the hidden reality is far more hard to explain than insanity.
Like an illusion though its not is how we feel of reality when it happens after realizing we were blinded by what's beyond it which is truth.
@@thebernardpurpose2525 Uh...what a bunch of nonsense. We have no more reason to believe the magical Bronze Age stories in the Bible then The Iliad, or any other legends passed down through centuries. Much of what you wrote isn't even comprehensible english. Are you drunk?
@@glenw3814 drunk, crazy, delusional, nonsense. That's how someone without the experience understands a witness. You are not to be persuaded to believe but to seek. Then you shall find. Lest, you only shall believe when it favors your contempt , as the hypocrites do of a generation seeking signs without a sincere grateful and humble heart to begin with.
True nonsense is to think that a man is without a soul and that God and Evil does not exist.
@@thebernardpurpose2525 Why so presumptuous? I spent the first 24 years of my life as an evangelical christian. I read the Bible cover-to-cover and did my best to live according to the teachings of Jesus. You should not assume someone doesn't have the knowledge and experience to understand Christianity.
Never gets old! Sooooo funny😂😂😂😂😂
Imagine the amount of food required for 2 of every creature in the world for 40 days and 4o nights and then for all the days until the plants and animals repopulate.
And the varieties of foods for all the different animals insects and aquatic life plus fertilizer for plant life. Two of everyone! A couple of empty super tankers wouldn't cover it! And just Noah & fam cleaning up after all the animals. BTW some of insects only live a few days. Uh oh.
Not to mention dropping every animal off at their respective country….and can someone explain where all the water went?
He's writing in squid ink 😂😂😂😂😂
When the squirrel asks “who are you, man?” the response of the BBC reporter should have been “This is London.”
Never have I seen a comedian evolve physically along with their material.
We found a child... It's public relations. Lol
Love the squid sucking his own tentacle to get the ink for writing his TripAdvisor review : )
The challenge still stands for creationists: show it can be done. And I will even allow for accommodations. You may use MODERN construction equipment to construct a boat the size of the Titanic (which supposedly had dimensions three times the Biblical Ark) with a species count of only 16000 (as argued by creationists) and I will even allow all modern climate control and modern veterinarian medicine, and human attendants of not 8 illiterate family, but rather trained veterinarians, or even more if needed. Supplies and all, all provided. (assume all technology to make that happen as well)
And then show that 90%+ actually survive after a year of isolation. (popular myth is that the whole event was just 40 days, when the Bible says it was 40 days and nights of the rain part: The Bible CLEARLY states that 40 days and nights are just the rain. Almost a year is to what it claims the ark was isolated, (not that it matters to the argument) By isolation I mean the one by the creationist Bible-literalist sense: windows open, but no animals in or out, no food in or out, and assume somekind of perfect air circulation. If at the end more than 90% of the species (and keep in mind, you may only have a PAIR of each species present at the start) survive to start a population that will grow to be viable, THEN I will become an advocate that Creationism should be considered as a valid scientific hypothesis.
Man.. have you ever watched a debat between a creationist and a scientist (or anyone else for that matter, except another creationist)?
They will twist *everything*. 'Built the world in 7 days? Well, you have to understand that in the biblical sense, in the time they were alive, a day meant 500 years', and in that line, they'll prolly defend the rest of it too.
If one could actually argue a point with a creationist, sure, a challenge would be fun - as it is, it would just be frustrating exercise ruining the fun for everyone :P
He hasn't done any math... Writing numbers down is not math.
so why the heck do we still have mosquitoes and rats - world's best disease delivery system
The Biblical creation myth + the story of the ark, points out three really serious problems with the whole belief in God bullshit.
1. God is ALL-POWERFUL (omnipotent) ... He created the world in 6 days and on the 7th, he rested. Regardless of how long any one of those days may have been - be they 24 hours or 1/2 a billion years - on the 7th day, God rested. He's all-powerful ... but he needed a nap?
2. God is ALL-KNOWING (omniscient) ... Not only did this, "all-knowing," being seem clueless to the inevitable forbidden fruit thing, according to Genesis 6:6 (the part about how God had regretted making mankind), God somehow did not see that whole flood thing coming either. I'm curious: How can an all-knowing being have regrets? Would he not know the eventual outcome of any decision he would ever make? All the human 'free-will' bullshit aside, would an all-knowing being not be aware of where that free-will would end up taking humanity? So tell me, how is it possible God had regrets?
3. Back to the forbidden fruit and it's connection to the flood and eventual self-sacrifice on the cross. Two ignorant teenagers ate a piece of fruit. For this, all of humanity needed to suffer for all of eternity. Yes, Adam and Eve would have been ignorant... Was that forbidden fruit not from the tree of knowledge... the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? In other words, before that point, Adam and Eve did not know any better... they were innocent and ignorant. But God told them not to eat from that tree ... he then left them alone - so much for omnipresence. Consider, according to the Bible, there were only two people on the planet at the time and God wasn't with them?Here's an experiment, for all you Christians: Take a child, set a full cookie jar in the middle of the kitchen floor, tell him to not touch the jar and leave the house for a couple days. Is there any way in Hell that jar is still full when you return? But, i am going off topic... back to the bible ... Fast forward to the flood. In this event, God spared the only righteous people on the planet and LITERALLY washed the world clean. But somehow, this, "loving and forgiving God," still saw fit to carry on with his plan of perpetual sin and his own self-sacrifice - followed by years of guilt and fundamentalism - all because two ignorant teenagers ate a piece of fruit!
To any Christian reading this... how delusional must you be to believe any of it is real?
pop5678eye. you just need to carry the eggs. then artificially put the sperm.with each egg. that period was so ahead of its time, humans had discovered many things and could build amazing structures, but had become so abusive with it, god wanted to destroy all the knowledge we had built up to. so putting animals in two by two into a small space just meant carry the genetic code of each one. it is probably what will happen again when we go off to inhabit other planets.
40 days and 40 nights is funny as a joke...I spent a year as a travelling healthcare provider and paid for 3 nights at a hotel when I really only used 2, because I worked night shift. Arrived Fri evening, checked in, changed clothes, went to work. That's a full night I never used just so I would have some place to sleep the next day. They should have the option of early morning check in/check out.
I live in the Netherlands, basically 3.5 meters below sealevel. And we have lots of rain.....
We're still here
'We found a child' 😂 dead
"So far two Lions and two Tigers Dad"........The menu on the Ark wasn't detailed in the babbles.......
James Mason as god and Connery as Noah.
I like his ringmasters jacket
Love him (or her is it?)
This show was great, but I don’t know why, but he is even better in drag.
Still hard to beat the hilarious insanity of the original source material:
"After Genesis 6:3, the countdown was on. Then in verses 17 and 18, God said, “and you shall go into the ark-you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you” (Genesis 6:18). Notice that Noah had sons who already had wives. Noah didn’t have his first son of record until he was 500 years old, and the Flood came 100 years later (Genesis 7:6). Allowing 25-30 years for the sons to grow up and get married, we’re left with perhaps 70 years to build the Ark."
Lovely to find incest being the basis of human expansion just as in the beginnings.
Clean and unclean animals weren't defined until the giving of THE LAW.
And don't get me started on salinity and osmotic pressure.
Another " the best ever" moment in biblical history!!!😂😂😂😂❤️
I love Eddie izzard history its more interesting
The ducks are the best, it’s going to rain,
Ducks So!
The most exciting story is missing from here: When the ark reached land at the top of the Ararat mountain (in Asia), the 2 happy kangaroos jumped out from the boat, and asked Noah, where they should live now. Noah told them: Australia. The kangaroos: Hey mate, do not fuck with us please! Australia is an island, and we cannot swim!
And Noah kicked the kangaroos in the ass that they flied to Australia.
I'll raise that.. after they landed his daughters got Noah pissed and then shagged him
Füle Sándor reckon there is something in the great flood story. Reckon that part of the world took in animals from the part of the world. Other regions built there own boats.... Strange how we only have the Hebrew Bible as ancient history. Unless others animals arrived on the scene afterwards. History has been kept from us.... Bible is fill of lies. Unfortunately it has truth in it also. Otherwise you could throw it away. That's the frustrating part.
@@andrewcorbell7216 I agree, Andrew. I am sure, there are parts in the Bible which are more or less accurate history. Most myths have some real fundaments. We exactly know, there were serious local floodings around the Earth. And myths build up step by step.
Füle Sándor good joke though!!
. You clearly are open minded also... Regards!
Cliff Hanley yes, it's clear this happened.... The mythology is a little confused, however, it makes that more than one person was spoken to by God about this problem and some took care of the tigers in India along with the elephants as it seems a heck of a chore to go all the way over there to get them just to take them back afterwards. That's why the Noah account breaks down. However what there us is an overwhelming archeological body of evidence to support this cataclysmic event, called the great flood and I do believe the reasons for it... It doesn't make sense to me on a globe that all the land was in one place. And it was subsequently torn apart. The Bible says that all the waters were gathered together in one place.. This gives us clues to the nature of this reality. All the water flows down hill. Where does all the water go and what is happening when the tide is going out if it's not downhill. When the moon is on the opposite side of the earth to where tides are still happening makes a nonsense if the gravitational pull explanation for the tides. The creator explanation for our reality and the fact there is no Hebrew documentary history for man anywhere before the flood indicates that this absence if evidence alone supports a total flooding of earth narrative.
CAUTION! You may actually learn something about history if your not....I love this man.....
What history? It’s a fairytale, a heavily plagiarized fairytale.
Strange…. Never heard about the kangaroos! 🤔
Noah’s Ark is as realistic as Santa Claus
so the squirrel was David Spade?
Thank you! That was driving me nuts!
Did he just say that the fish needed saved from a flood? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
They would, because most aquatic life can't live in fresh water and salt water mixed together.
@@kenhollis6197 - the salinity wouldn't change. More water would take in more soil and salt from the land and retain the salinity.
@@markfox1545 so the fresh water fish would need saving then
GENIUS!!!
actually in the hotel it's the nights that count.
I’ve only seen his standup with him in dresses so this is different
Love this sketch. But for real, honey badgers would be the last things standing!
Every Giant Squid will grab a B5 just to see their diver’s notes.
Mythbusters: The Ark Edition
Yup, he's got the nerdy looks required (in this outfit and shave 🧔 ;)
Excellent
And now I know Eddie dresses to the right
But you wouldn't need to put aquatic creatures on the ark because...well, water. lol
It sounds like the flood would have been rather catastrophic to sea life though... do you think they can all handle insanely strong currents?
SiminaDar Freshwater+Saltwater=Dead Fish...
@@CJT3X What like sharks and giant squid, yeah I reckon so!
@@CJT3X Not to mention it never actually happened..lol
Sigh...the temperature, pressure, and salinity would kill most if not all aquatic life. Are people really this stupid? Considering how many people were puzzled by the possibility of a whale drowning, I suppose so. 🤦♂️
Aww, he missed the best part, where Noah builds an alter to God, sacrifices the extra "clean" animals and birds they brought along, and God promised never to do it again because he liked the smell ... even though we're all terrible and totally deserve mass genocide.
Genesis 8:20-21
20 Then Noah built an altar to the Lord and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. 21 The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.
Of course Noah washed them first :P
One version of the story has two of every kind, and the other has that plus 7 pairs of every "clean" kind, for future sacrifices and whatnot.
"...even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood"
Well, you would know, wouldn't you? You made us this way, ya genocidal prick!
@@BlackEpyon Thank you. I like to throw that in the faces of theists. They also like to forget that his son raped him when he was drunk.
And also missed something that makes it even less believable that tho it rained forty days and forty nights it was about a year before he landed.
Gen 7:11 “In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, on the seventeenth day of the month, on that day all the fountains of the great deep burst forth, and the windows of the heavens were opened.”
Gen 8:13 In the six hundred and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried from off the earth. And Noah removed the covering of the ark and looked, and behold, the face of the ground was dry.”
Genesis 7;11 on the second month seventeenth day the water comes.
Genesis 8:13 ESV on the first month first day they disembark. I’m not positive about how many months a year we’re talking but they were lunar 28 day months. And specifically 40 days of rain 150 days before it started to subside, 150 days later mountain tops show, then 40 days later he starts sending out doves.
Noah had the DNA of the animals and a few to eat. He was also an alien as 600 years is very long for anything to live let alone a story from the bible.
@@TheTeufelhunden68 My god, you do read in a lot between the lines, don't you?
Even some Christians have trouble swallowing the Noah's Arc tale. The writers of the bible weren't very bright.
Two dinosaurs according to "Young Earth Creationists".
I love him
they built a second ark for the fish, it had thousands of tanks for the fish and of course had lots of levels to keep the Carp in...……..yep Noah built a multi story Carp ark
You forgot to mention he built a 2 level outhouse too. both levels could be used. Gues who had to use the lower one?
‘ello Eddie, squids and sharks were fine without dry land.
Are the squids in tanks or just in a stall like the rest.?
did anyone type in sir miles axelrod voice actor talks about a boat to find this?
Okay, so when the rain hit, weren't there people already on boats, just by chance? Like, fisherman, merchants, etc? Or people living near the docks, where they had boats? They wouldn't run out of water...it was raining. And the fisherman could, you know, fish.
Your kind of heretical :-), logical thinking reminds me of the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve had 3 sons and two daughters (depending whose translation you read) from which we all presumably descended. Either that, or Adam and Eve were playing footsy with their children. Either way, it's amazing that we're not all cretins with webbed feet.
@@nigelrg1 From the Ark myth we are also all descended from the family of Noah, so we all got a double dose of family fun.
I don’t think Noah was told to take two of every fish.
Watched him for years. In fact, I played his classic "dressed to kill " way back when my kids had history classes. They loved history. And their written test answers I got calls from the teacher. "Mrs Florence, your son answered to the question of" Explain the colonists in the new land."
His answer was ,"the natives had no form of ownership. No flag no country. " " Mrs Florence, it's true but not the answer I was looking for and where did he come up with that?"
Not missing a beat, "I knew my son would be bored in history so I played a VHS of a comedian, who apparently teaches history better than you. And Sir, what did his buddies answer? Pretty much the same thing? Cuz they all watched it. Oh and just wait till WW I n II later this year, cuz they all sit at my kitchen table n play RISK on Rainey days.
5:20 That American accent!
Surreal.
He is my hero.
Yeah, nothing funnier than the bible or more unbelievable. Good one Eddy.
The biblical flood is the 2nd craziest thing in the Buy Bull in my opinion right next to the Adam & Eve myth. But to be fair it's hard to rank them when there's so many idiotic things to choose from.
Nothing makes me laugh harder than religion.
And cry, for all the crazy stuff they do :(
Coming from people who don't know science. 2 isn't enough to propagate a species. And it wasn't Noah's story, it belongs to Gilgamesh.
yes it takes at least 500 with a an injection of a couple hundred every 30 to 40 years(Polynesians).
even in nature cloning is last ditch attempt at keeping the species going and only last for about 8 generations then extinction with out new genetic material.
Gaia Shield I had two mice once. I ended up with 94 of them & they all seemed fine. 🤣
Fucking whoosh, eh? Eddie isn't a godboy, he's taking the piss.