It's also very pathetic when you can't leave the house, even to go to work without being in constant contact. It's like if you don't trust the person you are with, then why do you stay with them? All it does is make you look needy and insecure. Narrcissts have a mind of their own, for sure.
I have been binge-watching criminal interrogations. 99% have this in common: the self-entitlement that allows them to feel justified in committing the crime; and extreme self-pity when faced with punishment. The interrogators have to navigate these dual mentalities in order to drag the truth out of these people by pretending to indulge them until the suspect incriminates him/herself.
So true. The narcissistic person in my life is very insecure about any attention -social and professional. If someone acknowledges something I’ve done or even laughs at a joke I make, the narcissistic person doesn’t acknowledge it and immediately turns the subject to themselves. More often than not, they’ll make a disparaging comment towards or about me that sometimes is not obvious to others. They know how to place their darts.
@@theresafowler9000 yes indeed 100%. The narchole I married, if anyone would compliment me about anything would make him despise me even more. Some people caught on that in his presence, if they said something good about me theyd have to include an ego stroke for him so i wouldnt have to "pay for it" later.
And that's why I "don't take them seriously" especially if they say in exact words that they don't need MY resentment when I simply answered a question.
I just found your neglectful narcissist video. Thank you so much. You have removed the doubt and confusion that has plagued me for two decades. Thank you.
You have described it perfectly Darren. So true. You can never succeed with a narcissist, no matter what you do and how hard you try. It’s a lost cause. Thank you 🙏
I appreciate the directness. We need to hear more of it. Personally, I'm open to brutal honesty so I can know what I am dealing with and how to get through it. Thank you. Please keep it coming.
My ex, a covert narcissist, definitely employed 90% of the patterns you've discussed in the ~40 videos of yours I've watched to date. He acted like the most wonderful man I'd ever met in all of my 70 years-- until a little while after we got married, when he suddenly introduced a few very bizarre behaviors while we were actually on a road trip together! It seemed like he'd "gotten lost" at a gas station/restaurant where we'd stopped for a break. I was shocked, dismayed, wondering if he was having some kind of mental episode, possibly dementia? So later, when he gave me his first silent treatment in the car, I thought maybe he couldn't understand what I was saying, or couldn't talk, as can happen with a mini- stroke. It was frightening, and I cried. Turned out it was ALL intentional! 😢 And Yes, it was very damaging to our new "marriage" relationship. 😔All the wind went right out of my sails...😪 I had no idea that a person could, much less would, purposely do such a thing, and I couldn't imagine why, as we had both acknowledged to others that literally everything had been 'perfectly agreeable' in our relationship. (Translation: his adoration & flattery = love-bombing, NOT love.) Although I didn't know what had gone awry, I KNEW I was going to be in for a lot of emotional pain, followed by incredible embarrassment and unwarranted criticism-- from mostly everyone. The Deceived (victims) get it from both sides, or all sides, as the case may be. The words I think best describe all narcissists are traitor, betrayer, and deceiver, which all equal 'evildoer'. They PLAN to do any and every kind of evil to the very one they've vowed to love and care for until their death. They just want their death to come sooner, rather than later! AND they PLAN to enjoy every moment of causing their partner's demise! Honestly, this continual ill will leaves one with no choice but to get out, get protected and get far away, as quickly as possible. But NOTE: Fully 40% of FIRST attacks of physical violence, including those which cause death, happen within 3 months of the time a woman is leaving a relationship. Be very, very careful-- put nothing past them! Remember, they were, and are, walking a totally lying, evil path while only pretending to be a good person. Again, thank you so much, Darren, for all the understanding you've imparted which facilitated deep emotional healing that I could never have achieved on my own. I'm certain you've worked hard, but you're also very gifted. Thank you for all the time you've spent helping lift up poor souls just lying in a heap, weeping from their many intense wounds. May God richly and intensely bless you!
My brother is like this. Just changed the locks and got a restraining order. It helps with my anxiety over potential harm of his vindictive rage, and it's the best I can do at the moment. Thanks, Darren and blessings to all in abuse recovery.
"Accused of Hating him because I didn't fawn all over him." In fact, I don't know how to Fawn all over him more, so I don't understand his problem. Really, I completely adored him until he started treating me like this. He shot himself in the foot.
@@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 You can never do enough for a narchole. Soon as you do all they demand they change the goal post and youve got to "re-invent" yourself again. Its a viscous cycle. We have to see its not ours and jump out of it because they will suck your will to live or try to kill you both covertly and with their hands around your throat telling you theyre going to kill you...
Thank you, Darren. We had a communication after we went no contact last year. We slipped and replied, because it seemed pleasant and balanced, and it immediately slid into the same old circus. It reminded us why we went no contact. They create a downward spiral. Your straight-talking is helpful.
The victims of narcissists have their fair share of resentment. They resent being treated so badly and can remain angry and resentful for years, if not a lifetime.
Eerily? Darren knows exactly what he's talking about... and narcissism is complicated. I think He breaks it down in a "friendly" way that makes it more understandable; and for me, knowledge is power-- the power to lift my head and my spirit, which is re-invigorating. I really needed one person who understands and empathizes with me. Even though he's thousands of miles away in a different time zone, Darren has created a beautiful green indoor atmosphere where he seems to be talking soothingly just to me, and I'm undistracted. I had a brain injury, so it really helps that I can back up and listen again, as often as I need to, to really understand what he's teaching me. Invaluable!
Right on, right down the line. And they can take offense incredibly easily. About important things, true. But also incredibly trivial things, even invisible things, even imaginary things. Wasband would become livid, describing events and discussions of 40 years before, in grade school. Let alone more current things. And everyone is obligated to pay homage. Well except from superiors, while in their presence. VERY difficult to be around. And never, ever, acknowledge that THEY CAUSE so much misery for the people around them. Awful people.
Thanks for your video🙏. It explains lots of things happened to me in my marriage. When my husband asks me to do something, I have to do the way he likes (follow exactly the sequence). If I do exactly what he says, he just takes it for granted. If there is any difference than what he wants, even though I complete the task, my effort doesn’t count (this makes me very frustrated and feel unappreciated). If I say “since you don’t like the way I do it, how about do it yourself?” Then he says “you just want to be a freeloader and doing nothing in the relationship.” 💡Now I know, actually, it is him(narcissist) who doesn’t want to change nor contribute to our relationship. He projects his insecurity on me.
Sir Darren Magee, I would first thank you for your videos, your wise and thoughtful words and how you choose each so precisely that I feel like you have lived my 25 years of my life with my father
Mr. Magee, would you mind creating a video on their black and white thinking? How splitting can make them see you in a negative light (not only in the moment, but how they’re able to color all past events as negative as well.)
Thanks for posting this one , it really rings true with my experience. A friend ( frenemy really ) I have known for decades cannot bear to see me have anything without resentment and envy. If I change my car ( always second hand ) he is jealous. If I have had a nice overseas holiday its never a good idea to tell him because his face shows how unhappy he is about it. He is 14 years older than me and was in the role of mentor when I was a teenager but often seemed a bit patronising as if I should not need the advice he gave. When I stopped asking for advice he kept offering it - unsolicited- and resented my autonomy. You cant win with these types but I do have to put the ball back in my court and ask myself why I havent made a definitive break with him.
Same here. Hang in there. Try not to dwell on the past too much. Stay busy. Give yourself something to look forward to in the future. Invite a friend or friends over for dinner, or plan an outing. Sometimes you have to make the first move. Eat healthier. Walk more. Get some exercise. Get some sun. Sit in the park and enjoy nature on sunny afternoons. Take vitamins. Get a pet, or make a fuss over the one you already have. Watch comedies. Listen to happy music. For months, I asked Alexa to play "Everything's Going to Be All Right," and "Don't Worry, Be Happy" every day when I got up in the morning. It helped. So did praying. Don't jump into another relationship until you're ready and actually healed. You really WILL heal, btw. It just takes time and distractions. Meanwhile, take good care of yourself and your loved ones, and DON'T DWELL. You let the bad guy win when you let him occupy a big space in your mind after he's gone! I still have flashbacks, but I'm getting better by staying busy. I wish you all the best!
I went No Contact from family at 22, I'm now 74. It has never been easy. Just lots easier than staying in that. A big step is accepting that there would never be what I wanted. It just is not possible. It's too late. The opportunity for what we want with them is gone. So keep letting go, and keep recreating today what we do want and can have. You can do this! Even a little success is a lot!
I'm a young adult, and I've been struggling with anxiety (and currently under antidepressant medication) for the past 3 years I did know before all that, that my father was toxic, and I had many "traumas" because of his behaviours, and so does my Mom and my little sister. But it was only after digging deeper in my memories and using the internet, that I realized that he is, in fact, a covert narcissist (your video about the covert narcissist is so much fitting with is personality and behaviours, it is so disturbing that i shared it with my Mom and she agreed with me) So... Whenever we have some things to fix at home that require a foreign person to come into the house and fix it, he snaps, blames us for breaking it and not being too careful, and deminishes us for not being able to fix it. So, each time, when the plumber or any other worker, comes home, he starts "showing off", like he knows better than him and that teh worker an uncapable person, and he starts touching and interrupting the worker so many times, that my father ends up injured, the past week a massive brick that was put still againt a wall fell upon his hand and broke 2 of his fingers, and yet he still is deeply convinced that he is right for interfeering with the plumber's work
Long as you lead a busy life you are safe from them.They need you isolated ,if you have a busy job/hobby with many friends interacting with you they cannot get a look in . GET BUSY is my tip. Ive had 3 small jobs running same time for yrs
This can also backfire. In my experience anyways. I had a job where I was gone 12 hours a day 60+hours a week. He told me I didn’t do anything. I literally worked my butt off and made more money also. He worked from home so he did things around the house. But he made me feel terrible for “not doing anything” smh 😞
Omg! My narcissist husband has long tried to make me fear him. At the end of a fight, he would just shake his head and say you’re not afraid of me at all are you? This is never gonna work.
@@richersonkate the narchole I married told me that i had no independence because i was married to him. Pretty much saying i wasnt "allowed" to be independent. He couldnt intimidate me because i was raised by a USMC Staff Sergeant and i knew intimidation more so than many, probably...
The only way to level the playing field is getting the law or any other power to deal with them. Narcissists hate looking bad, so when the cops keep showing up at their home or work because of their constant harassment and bullying, those narcissists run for cover. The more this happens the harder it is for the narcissist to lie their way out of it and eventually they see you as an electric fence and they stay away. It’s a lot of work but it’s a lot more rewarding than being bullied everyday.
Can you address possible connections between sex addiction (or at least extreme infidelity) and narcissism? My ex was constantly cheating on me and yet really did not want to lose our marriage and was genuinely baffled when I finally left him. He said "but you have always wanted me to be happy, and sex with other women makes me happy!" Clueless.
Dear lady, can you really not see straight through his statement? This seems like one of those situations where you can't see the forest for the trees. Narcissists are very careful, quite adept at choosing their EXACT words. Believe me, he wasn't baffled-- he just said it was all your fault! His words are saying YOU're the clueless one. Have you ever told him he was clueless?? They use whatever YOU give them.
They do hate themselves Ive seen firsthand. It was when the narcissist went quiet for a couple of seconds and thought no one was watching them. It was a brief micro expression, but it was one of disgust. Id be disgusted with myself if i was juggling all those masks and the way they treat their targets bc deep down they know they are shitty people and portray themselves as a good person.
"I don't normally talk like this on my channel"..oh such strong language! Your dear old Scottish faery godmother says hello🍀🌷no emoji for a thistle for that shamrock💐🌼
It is really disturbing, as the child of a narcissist father, to grow up around him, I'm 25, currently unable to move to another house on my own (and tbh, even if I could, I don't have the heart and conscience to leave my little sister and my Mom with him) So, each time he does anything, or says anything, it is just to show us how stupid, small and useless we are, ALWAYS belittles everything we do and AMPLIFIES the importance of absolute random things he does, especially me on the 1st place, and my sister on the 2nd (she's the "gifted child", while I remind him of his younger self : as he describes me as too rebelous, unable to make long term friends because of my face and personality, and with anger issues). My Mom has always been aware of who he really is, but even when she tells him (in her way) that he's being extremely toxic, he apologies, becomes hypocritically nice and then does it all over again, and if I interfere by showing him that his behaviour is not appropriate to a normal father, he either : - Tells me that he'll hit me so bad that I'll go swing to the other side of the room, or, - Goes away to "breathe some fresh air" I recently started to have flashbacks from everything he ever did or said to my family and I, since I was very young, and it hurts so much more than back then, that whenever he shows up around me, I can't stand anything about him As he grows old, he keeps getting worse and worser Please tell me what to do, as my Mom and little sister are still in a flight mode
I have not finished listening to the whole video and a memory came into my mind when I decided stop acknowledging my neighbours, those who never responded to a hi or a good morning and...they were so upset! 😮 Of course they didn't say anything but I could see their blood boiling under their skins... We don't want to waste our energy and time but all it takes to make them run up the walls it's saying they are wrong 😂
"No amount of wanting them to change will help them change. In fact, the harder you want them to change will just cause a build up of more resentment..." After being subjected to illegal and unethical narcissistic rage by a psychiatrist sibling, with documented evidence, psychiatrists and psychologists have sat by and told me that I'm the one who needs to change (despite having had tried repeatedly to do the work prior)... This remains my stance. I'm not absolving myself of the responsibility for my own actions but my healing doesn't need to involve family members who are that harmful.
Transcript available on Substack darrenfmagee.substack.com/p/the-resentful-nature-of-narcissism or Patreon
Yes, very jealous and demanding attention. They don't want you to have a life besides catering to them.
Spoiled children.
It's also very pathetic when you can't leave the house, even to go to work without being in constant contact. It's like if you don't trust the person you are with, then why do you stay with them? All it does is make you look needy and insecure. Narrcissts have a mind of their own, for sure.
Nailed it. Good job!
They LIE so MUCH that they RESENT you for making them LIE SO MUCH! They have no boundaries or RULES EVER!
No character ❤️🩹 just clueless 🤦♀️
Lol
@@caroleminke6116
And no self or identity either.
They've got boundaries that ONLY THEY draw on YOU, but when you draw a boundary, they yell and flip the story on you!
Nobody gets more pissed off than a narchole being accused of something they definitely did do
This is what I've experienced damned if I do or damned if I don't! Feel as if I can't do anything right or like I'm constantly walking on eggshells.
I have been binge-watching criminal interrogations. 99% have this in common: the self-entitlement that allows them to feel justified in committing the crime; and extreme self-pity when faced with punishment. The interrogators have to navigate these dual mentalities in order to drag the truth out of these people by pretending to indulge them until the suspect incriminates him/herself.
Good point. Premeditated murderers are probably all narcissists.
So true. The narcissistic person in my life is very insecure about any attention -social and professional. If someone acknowledges something I’ve done or even laughs at a joke I make, the narcissistic person doesn’t acknowledge it and immediately turns the subject to themselves. More often than not, they’ll make a disparaging comment towards or about me that sometimes is not obvious to others. They know how to place their darts.
@@theresafowler9000 yes indeed 100%. The narchole I married, if anyone would compliment me about anything would make him despise me even more. Some people caught on that in his presence, if they said something good about me theyd have to include an ego stroke for him so i wouldnt have to "pay for it" later.
Its a vicious circle... with no end in sight. The only way is to cut off all contact, and even that doesn't always work!
And that's why I "don't take them seriously" especially if they say in exact words that they don't need MY resentment when I simply answered a question.
And people ask why so many choose to remain single. Too many narcissist people out there.
I just found your neglectful narcissist video. Thank you so much. You have removed the doubt and confusion that has plagued me for two decades. Thank you.
You have described it perfectly Darren. So true. You can never succeed with a narcissist, no matter what you do and how hard you try. It’s a lost cause. Thank you 🙏
I appreciate the directness. We need to hear more of it. Personally, I'm open to brutal honesty so I can know what I am dealing with and how to get through it. Thank you. Please keep it coming.
Beautifully summed up. Thank you
I simply cannot believe that you are describing my life.
Your voice is very soothing.... 🎉😊
Yes! It's not just his voice, but his whole demeanor. To me, listening to Darren is like sitting by a stream and listening to its flow.
My ex, a covert narcissist, definitely employed 90% of the patterns you've discussed in the ~40 videos of yours I've watched to date. He acted like the most wonderful man I'd ever met in all of my 70 years-- until a little while after we got married, when he suddenly introduced a few very bizarre behaviors while we were actually on a road trip together! It seemed like he'd "gotten lost" at a gas station/restaurant where we'd stopped for a break. I was shocked, dismayed, wondering if he was having some kind of mental episode, possibly dementia? So later, when he gave me his first silent treatment in the car, I thought maybe he couldn't understand what I was saying, or couldn't talk, as can happen with a mini- stroke. It was frightening, and I cried. Turned out it was ALL intentional! 😢 And Yes, it was very damaging to our new "marriage" relationship. 😔All the wind went right out of my sails...😪 I had no idea that a person could, much less would, purposely do such a thing, and I couldn't imagine why, as we had both acknowledged to others that literally everything had been 'perfectly agreeable' in our relationship. (Translation: his adoration & flattery = love-bombing, NOT love.) Although I didn't know what had gone awry, I KNEW I was going to be in for a lot of emotional pain, followed by incredible embarrassment and unwarranted criticism-- from mostly everyone. The Deceived (victims) get it from both sides, or all sides, as the case may be. The words I think best describe all narcissists are traitor, betrayer, and deceiver, which all equal 'evildoer'. They PLAN to do any and every kind of evil to the very one they've vowed to love and care for until their death. They just want their death to come sooner, rather than later! AND they PLAN to enjoy every moment of causing their partner's demise! Honestly, this continual ill will leaves one with no choice but to get out, get protected and get far away, as quickly as possible. But NOTE: Fully 40% of FIRST attacks of physical violence, including those which cause death, happen within 3 months of the time a woman is leaving a relationship. Be very, very careful-- put nothing past them! Remember, they were, and are, walking a totally lying, evil path while only pretending to be a good person.
Again, thank you so much, Darren, for all the understanding you've imparted which facilitated deep emotional healing that I could never have achieved on my own. I'm certain you've worked hard, but you're also very gifted. Thank you for all the time you've spent helping lift up poor souls just lying in a heap, weeping from their many intense wounds. May God richly and intensely bless you!
Yep! 4 months into our marriage 3 months into my pregnancy with our child and the real him showed up....
My brother is like this. Just changed the locks and got a restraining order. It helps with my anxiety over potential harm of his vindictive rage, and it's the best I can do at the moment.
Thanks, Darren and blessings to all in abuse recovery.
How long did it take for you to get out?
You got it! If you do well that's a problem, if you don't that's a problem.
"Accused of Hating him because I didn't fawn all over him." In fact, I don't know how to Fawn all over him more, so I don't understand his problem. Really, I completely adored him until he started treating me like this. He shot himself in the foot.
@@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753 You can never do enough for a narchole. Soon as you do all they demand they change the goal post and youve got to "re-invent" yourself again. Its a viscous cycle. We have to see its not ours and jump out of it because they will suck your will to live or try to kill you both covertly and with their hands around your throat telling you theyre going to kill you...
Thank you, Darren. We had a communication after we went no contact last year. We slipped and replied, because it seemed pleasant and balanced, and it immediately slid into the same old circus. It reminded us why we went no contact. They create a downward spiral. Your straight-talking is helpful.
Nobody could word it better darren magee what a guy!
Thank you for this
The victims of narcissists have their fair share of resentment. They resent being treated so badly and can remain angry and resentful for years, if not a lifetime.
True 😔
@@elainehiggins713
In a way, resentment protect us from not dealing with them ever because they will hurt us again. It's also a protection mechanism.
I agree.
Yes
No that is a stupid act.if they are out your life you forgive them and move on
Spot on. Narcisists are stuck in a perpetual catch 22. No mater what it’s always a lose-lose!
Wow. Eerily accurate.
Eerily? Darren knows exactly what he's talking about... and narcissism is complicated. I think He breaks it down in a "friendly" way that makes it more understandable; and for me, knowledge is power-- the power to lift my head and my spirit, which is re-invigorating. I really needed one person who understands and empathizes with me. Even though he's thousands of miles away in a different time zone, Darren has created a beautiful green indoor atmosphere where he seems to be talking soothingly just to me, and I'm undistracted. I had a brain injury, so it really helps that I can back up and listen again, as often as I need to, to really understand what he's teaching me. Invaluable!
🌏🌺 Kia Ora. Good morning from New Zealand Darren and community.
Good to see another kiwi trying to understand these people.
Right on, right down the line. And they can take offense incredibly easily. About important things, true. But also incredibly trivial things, even invisible things, even imaginary things. Wasband would become livid, describing events and discussions of 40 years before, in grade school. Let alone more current things. And everyone is obligated to pay homage. Well except from superiors, while in their presence. VERY difficult to be around. And never, ever, acknowledge that THEY CAUSE so much misery for the people around them. Awful people.
@@jeankipper6954 they know what they cause and they enjoy it
Thanks for your video🙏. It explains lots of things happened to me in my marriage.
When my husband asks me to do something, I have to do the way he likes (follow exactly the sequence). If I do exactly what he says, he just takes it for granted. If there is any difference than what he wants, even though I complete the task, my effort doesn’t count (this makes me very frustrated and feel unappreciated). If I say “since you don’t like the way I do it, how about do it yourself?” Then he says “you just want to be a freeloader and doing nothing in the relationship.”
💡Now I know, actually, it is him(narcissist) who doesn’t want to change nor contribute to our relationship. He projects his insecurity on me.
They have zero gratitude. It's like living with a stranger, you wait on hand and foot, who hates you.
@@cassiebennet4262 You said it best.
Sir Darren Magee, I would first thank you for your videos, your wise and thoughtful words and how you choose each so precisely that I feel like you have lived my 25 years of my life with my father
Mr. Magee, would you mind creating a video on their black and white thinking? How splitting can make them see you in a negative light (not only in the moment, but how they’re able to color all past events as negative as well.)
Thanks for posting this one , it really rings true with my experience. A friend ( frenemy really ) I have known for decades cannot bear to see me have anything without resentment and envy. If I change my car ( always second hand ) he is jealous. If I have had a nice overseas holiday its never a good idea to tell him because his face shows how unhappy he is about it. He is 14 years older than me and was in the role of mentor when I was a teenager but often seemed a bit patronising as if I should not need the advice he gave. When I stopped asking for advice he kept offering it - unsolicited- and resented my autonomy. You cant win with these types but I do have to put the ball back in my court and ask myself why I havent made a definitive break with him.
It’s been 2 years I’m still struggling
Same here. Hang in there. Try not to dwell on the past too much. Stay busy. Give yourself something to look forward to in the future. Invite a friend or friends over for dinner, or plan an outing. Sometimes you have to make the first move. Eat healthier. Walk more. Get some exercise. Get some sun. Sit in the park and enjoy nature on sunny afternoons. Take vitamins. Get a pet, or make a fuss over the one you already have. Watch comedies. Listen to happy music. For months, I asked Alexa to play "Everything's Going to Be All Right," and "Don't Worry, Be Happy" every day when I got up in the morning. It helped. So did praying.
Don't jump into another relationship until you're ready and actually healed. You really WILL heal, btw. It just takes time and distractions. Meanwhile, take good care of yourself and your loved ones, and DON'T DWELL. You let the bad guy win when you let him occupy a big space in your mind after he's gone! I still have flashbacks, but I'm getting better by staying busy. I wish you all the best!
I went No Contact from family at 22, I'm now 74. It has never been easy. Just lots easier than staying in that.
A big step is accepting that there would never be what I wanted. It just is not possible. It's too late. The opportunity for what we want with them is gone. So keep letting go, and keep recreating today what we do want and can have.
You can do this! Even a little success is a lot!
I'm a young adult, and I've been struggling with anxiety (and currently under antidepressant medication) for the past 3 years
I did know before all that, that my father was toxic, and I had many "traumas" because of his behaviours, and so does my Mom and my little sister. But it was only after digging deeper in my memories and using the internet, that I realized that he is, in fact, a covert narcissist (your video about the covert narcissist is so much fitting with is personality and behaviours, it is so disturbing that i shared it with my Mom and she agreed with me)
So... Whenever we have some things to fix at home that require a foreign person to come into the house and fix it, he snaps, blames us for breaking it and not being too careful, and deminishes us for not being able to fix it. So, each time, when the plumber or any other worker, comes home, he starts "showing off", like he knows better than him and that teh worker an uncapable person, and he starts touching and interrupting the worker so many times, that my father ends up injured, the past week a massive brick that was put still againt a wall fell upon his hand and broke 2 of his fingers, and yet he still is deeply convinced that he is right for interfeering with the plumber's work
Long as you lead a busy life you are safe from them.They need you isolated ,if you have a busy job/hobby with many friends interacting with you they cannot get a look in . GET BUSY is my tip. Ive had 3 small jobs running same time for yrs
This can also backfire. In my experience anyways. I had a job where I was gone 12 hours a day 60+hours a week. He told me I didn’t do anything. I literally worked my butt off and made more money also. He worked from home so he did things around the house. But he made me feel terrible for “not doing anything” smh 😞
I know quite a bit of them in my life.
Yes. Me too
@@patriciafry8634, I believe you.
This is my landlord: manipulative, switching positions and doing oppositional things!
Same
My husband just told me that the key to the longevity of our marriage is my Fear of him
Omg! My narcissist husband has long tried to make me fear him. At the end of a fight, he would just shake his head and say you’re not afraid of me at all are you? This is never gonna work.
@@CTHou13 crazy, right?
@@richersonkate the narchole I married told me that i had no independence because i was married to him. Pretty much saying i wasnt "allowed" to be independent. He couldnt intimidate me because i was raised by a USMC Staff Sergeant and i knew intimidation more so than many, probably...
Keep positive mindset I do
“Dammed if you do. Damned if you don’t.” Ain’t that the truth?
This is probably how that comment originated...
The only way to level the playing field is getting the law or any other power to deal with them. Narcissists hate looking bad, so when the cops keep showing up at their home or work because of their constant harassment and bullying, those narcissists run for cover. The more this happens the harder it is for the narcissist to lie their way out of it and eventually they see you as an electric fence and they stay away. It’s a lot of work but it’s a lot more rewarding than being bullied everyday.
Can you address possible connections between sex addiction (or at least extreme infidelity) and narcissism? My ex was constantly cheating on me and yet really did not want to lose our marriage and was genuinely baffled when I finally left him. He said "but you have always wanted me to be happy, and sex with other women makes me happy!" Clueless.
Dear lady, can you really not see straight through his statement? This seems like one of those situations where you can't see the forest for the trees. Narcissists are very careful, quite adept at choosing their EXACT words. Believe me, he wasn't baffled-- he just said it was all your fault! His words are saying YOU're the clueless one. Have you ever told him he was clueless?? They use whatever YOU give them.
@@lindalarson5468 wow
They do hate themselves Ive seen firsthand. It was when the narcissist went quiet for a couple of seconds and thought no one was watching them. It was a brief micro expression, but it was one of disgust. Id be disgusted with myself if i was juggling all those masks and the way they treat their targets bc deep down they know they are shitty people and portray themselves as a good person.
"I don't normally talk like this on my channel"..oh such strong language! Your dear old Scottish faery godmother says hello🍀🌷no emoji for a thistle for that shamrock💐🌼
It is really disturbing, as the child of a narcissist father, to grow up around him, I'm 25, currently unable to move to another house on my own (and tbh, even if I could, I don't have the heart and conscience to leave my little sister and my Mom with him)
So, each time he does anything, or says anything, it is just to show us how stupid, small and useless we are, ALWAYS belittles everything we do and AMPLIFIES the importance of absolute random things he does, especially me on the 1st place, and my sister on the 2nd (she's the "gifted child", while I remind him of his younger self : as he describes me as too rebelous, unable to make long term friends because of my face and personality, and with anger issues). My Mom has always been aware of who he really is, but even when she tells him (in her way) that he's being extremely toxic, he apologies, becomes hypocritically nice and then does it all over again, and if I interfere by showing him that his behaviour is not appropriate to a normal father, he either :
- Tells me that he'll hit me so bad that I'll go swing to the other side of the room, or,
- Goes away to "breathe some fresh air"
I recently started to have flashbacks from everything he ever did or said to my family and I, since I was very young, and it hurts so much more than back then, that whenever he shows up around me, I can't stand anything about him
As he grows old, he keeps getting worse and worser
Please tell me what to do, as my Mom and little sister are still in a flight mode
The heck with their naughty by nature. Let em run a muck.
I have not finished listening to the whole video and a memory came into my mind when I decided stop acknowledging my neighbours, those who never responded to a hi or a good morning and...they were so upset! 😮
Of course they didn't say anything but I could see their blood boiling under their skins...
We don't want to waste our energy and time but all it takes to make them run up the walls it's saying they are wrong 😂
"No amount of wanting them to change will help them change. In fact, the harder you want them to change will just cause a build up of more resentment..."
After being subjected to illegal and unethical narcissistic rage by a psychiatrist sibling, with documented evidence, psychiatrists and psychologists have sat by and told me that I'm the one who needs to change (despite having had tried repeatedly to do the work prior)... This remains my stance. I'm not absolving myself of the responsibility for my own actions but my healing doesn't need to involve family members who are that harmful.
There is no redemption for narcissists. They are hopeless cases -- steer well clear of them, if you can!
Accurate.
Darren, your cool display case is blocking the drawers of your cabinet.
Not really, all humans go through these resentful phases - somethings are unforgivable
My father
No thank you I was taught by a professor a long time ago. Have a great day take care.
Fear rage envy then revenge & denial ❤️🩹