I Am Alive

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  • Опубликовано: 2 янв 2025

Комментарии • 82

  • @MoreRespawn
    @MoreRespawn  18 дней назад +20

    My therapist told me that I need to share more with what is going on with me. I took that as it's time to share it with the internet lol
    I am doing this video for 2 reasons: The first is so people understand why I have been gone. Its not for sympathy, its just to answer the people who have reached out to me (Thank you by the way. Made me a little emotional with all the people who wanted to make sure some dude on the internet was doing alright). Second, I hope that I reach at least one person with this message. Help is there and to hell with the bad stigma that therapy gets especially for men. If you are struggling with something, ask someone for help.
    Hope you all are doing good though. If you have any questions or comments just put em down here and I will answer any that I am able to. Not sure if this video will stay up or eventually get nuked by me. In the end it is quite personal and I still struggle, even after months of therapy, sharing that type of personal emotion with anyone.
    Also, sorry for the rambling and the microphone adjusting noises. I had no intention of making this video, it just kind of happened last night. I stood up and recorded.

    • @Raiders-wm5kb
      @Raiders-wm5kb День назад

      Happy NEW YEAR!!!!!! 2025 PGA 2K we back I hope

  • @nikbiebighauser1743
    @nikbiebighauser1743 16 дней назад +1

    I really appreciate you posting this. It’s the anxiety/mental health video us 30 something men need. It’s real, truthful, honest. Too many times were fed over produced, or fake feeling content about this subject that just don’t land. You make it relatable, respawn. Thank you for sharing, pulling for you man - I hope this reaches all the fat (pls catch my sarcasm) 30ish year old men who need to hear it. You’ll be back brother.

  • @On3PmpW0nd3r
    @On3PmpW0nd3r 18 дней назад +4

    This video took a ton of courage to make, let alone post for the world to see. I’m glad that you’re getting the help you need, therapy saved my life many years ago, and you’re right, the stigma associated with it needs to go away. This is the kind of post that should go viral, not some of the other nonsense out there.
    I can only speak for myself, but I’m sure your whole community would agree with me, and say that most of us are more than willing to listen and help you in any way you need. Please never hesitate to reach out.
    This video alone is enough to earn my respect and gratitude for what you’re trying to do in this message. But I also really enjoy all of your other content as well. Keep it up man!

  • @TheApexHound
    @TheApexHound 18 дней назад +3

    Big props to you for uploading this video man.

  • @dkingkingnyc
    @dkingkingnyc 18 дней назад +5

    Thx for the share brother. I had 1 attack many years ago and it was exactly as you described it. Thought I was done. Hasn't happened since, thankfully. Just try and breathe and take it slow until you feel better. You have golf fans out there who are on your side and look forward to more of your golf streams! You got this brother!

  • @kennyrandall3199
    @kennyrandall3199 17 дней назад

    I've been there dude, been suffering with panic and anxiety for 20 years. Took God knows how much medication and been to countless therapist. The symptoms changed over the years but I am able to live a life now. It's not what I wanted before they started but I am living again instead of the agoraphobia taking over. Accept your anxiety and accept you limits. Don't push on bad days.

  • @Jambbie147
    @Jambbie147 17 дней назад +1

    Best of luck with your continuing treatment, hopefully you keep making progress and kudos to you for having the balls put this out there.
    I'd recommend (to anyone) watching anything to do with the power of smiling, and breathing excercises for anyone suffering with anxiety. There are great techniques out there that really help . I'd also highly recommend walking or running if you're able.
    Best of luck again pal.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      Breathing exercises and grounding statements have helped me so much during a panic attack. It's amazing how the box method of breathing and a simple statement of who I am helped bring me down. Brains are weird.

  • @blade7658
    @blade7658 17 дней назад +1

    Making this video and posting it shows how incredibly strong you are. You may not always see it, but is in there. Keep doing the hard work and when the time is right, I look forward to enjoying your content in the future.

  • @BubMan28
    @BubMan28 17 дней назад +1

    so nice to see/hear from you dude. Missed your videos but glad you're doing better and trying to get better. As someone who suffers from severe anxiety i completely understand. Panic Attacks/anxiety attacks are not fun.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад +1

      Wouldn't wish then on anyone

  • @charlesmacdonald889
    @charlesmacdonald889 18 дней назад

    I was having similar anxiety issues and went to talk to my DR. I am now on zoloft and I am feeling alot better.

  • @peterthethird
    @peterthethird 16 дней назад +1

    Thank you for sharing. Everything you said I’ve been through and go through from time to time. Keep working on yourself and feel better! Best of luck to you man. 🙏🙏

  • @MrSKRobot
    @MrSKRobot 18 дней назад +2

    Thanks for sharing your story dude.
    I've been battling anxiety since adolescence and didn't start trying therapy/medication due to a familial stigma about it. I'm so thankful that I finally broke out of that mindset and started getting the help I needed.
    I resonate with everything you said so much man, keep on taking care of you homie!

  • @Falcons8455
    @Falcons8455 18 дней назад +3

    Love you and your videos! I'm dealing with similar issues and seems like tons of others are as well. Social media has made everyone so isolated compared to how we used to be as a society.
    Therapy is great for men, but in my experience, it feels like most therapists are geared towards women. Not all, but most therapists I've had weren't very helpful. Luckily my family is therapuetic for me.
    Ultimately I feel most anxiety is due to insecurity that we have and we need to build up confidence. We are way better than we give ourselves credit for. I love your videos because you always have great insight and a more serious/mature approach than these other creators. You could genuinely be a good sports announcer.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  18 дней назад +1

      Thanks Falcons. I will say that the therapist you get is very important. It is important to meet with many therapists if needed. Meet with one, if you don't work together, find someone else. In the end it is a service and you are paying for it. My current therapist is great. It just took a couple to find her.

  • @ogts
    @ogts 18 дней назад +2

    Thank you for sharing brother, I hope your strength continues to grow. Just like you said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Pace yourself however you can that positively helps you, and comeback when you're ready. Fighting!

  • @bpm982
    @bpm982 16 дней назад

    Appreciate the vid, and the admittance…it’s all about you helping you, glad you’re taking those steps. There’s a lot of respect for the gaming ideas, play, and how-to you’ve given us over the years. Now, keep kickin’ a$$, even if it’s your own…I respect you for being you. Sending digital love to ya Respawn…keep on.

  • @Kilbride10
    @Kilbride10 17 дней назад +2

    Terribly sorry to hear about your struggles. Extremely happy to hear you seem to be on the right trajectory. It takes a ton of guts to let everyone into your personal life like this and a huge props to you for doing so. Your message will certainly resonate and undoubtedly help others. 🦾🦾🦾

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      Thanks man. Hope you are doing well. Excited to see everyone back on the PGA streets next year with the new game.

  • @SimWithDon
    @SimWithDon 18 дней назад +2

    Thanks for sharing. Didn't know so much of this. You can do this.

  • @PokerStaples
    @PokerStaples 17 дней назад

    Pretty similar experiences for us brother. Good stuff and all the best

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      Hopefully, you are working towards a healthier you.

  • @calebthebraveone7463
    @calebthebraveone7463 18 дней назад +1

    Hey respawn, appreciate you brother! Thanks for sharing and updating us, and wish you well on your journey!

  • @mightybigman5484
    @mightybigman5484 18 дней назад

    Really happy you were able to share this, hopefully this means you're on the road to recovery. Will be here to consume whatever content you put out, whenever that is. If you can hit a triple with Jorge Posada, you can do this.

  • @joshuablum2527
    @joshuablum2527 18 дней назад +4

    Thank you for your strength and honesty✌🏻❤️Hoping for a path to wellness ❤❤❤

  • @jeffreywright2861
    @jeffreywright2861 16 дней назад

    I’m proud of you sharing. I too have struggled with anxiety for almost all my life but it was always manageable, until about a year and a half ago.
    Full blown attack, hyperventilating & an ER trip. None of it made sense & I was in constant fight/ flight mode.
    Time tends to help, acceptance and healing too. For logical people like us, anxiety is hard because we can’t outsmart it… it’s illogical in nature. Keep fighting and remember it’s never as bad as our minds tell us it is. 💙
    Either way, please reach out if you (or anyone) want to talk. I’m always available to chat with anyone who struggles with this.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  16 дней назад

      I've never thought of it that way. I am highly logical, so I struggle with the frustration that comes with that. Anxiety being illogical brings the most frustration. Now, same with my ADHD. It cuts into the logical portion of brain so maybe that is what I am struggling with when it comes to it. Something I'll need to explore

    • @jeffreywright2861
      @jeffreywright2861 16 дней назад +1

      I’m right there with you, I’m always trying to “solve” the anxiety and it just doesn’t work that way.
      My therapist also likes to remind me that anxiety is a spectrum. I would go a few weeks or months not feeling much of it and then *BOOM* it all came rushing back and it felt like no progress was made at all.
      But, it’s a spectrum and there will be ebbs and flows, highs and lows. It’s a handy reminder that when I feel my lowest, it’s not forever.
      Proud of you man, keep fighting it.

  • @Lennox032
    @Lennox032 17 дней назад

    I was literally watching one of your older EA videos today, watched your streams before, really brave of you to share this! take it easy and try setting little goals you'll get there step by step!

  • @djweyer09
    @djweyer09 17 дней назад +1

    Thanks for sharing. Glad to hear you are doing something to better yourself. I hope you're in a good head space soon!

  • @Wvgrizz
    @Wvgrizz 18 дней назад +2

    May God bless you and comfort you...

  • @dazonyt8094
    @dazonyt8094 18 дней назад

    Here's hoping doing the video and sharing it helps you on the road to your recovery. Kudos for doing this.

  • @Brian_R82
    @Brian_R82 18 дней назад

    Thanks so much for posting this. It really amazed me watching, for about 95% of this video you described word for word what I have gone through this year. I started having very major anxiety attacks in May of this year. Had never had them before. The weird thing is I never felt like I was stressed or worried about anything. It just popped up and felt like a heart attack. Ended up in the hospital twice in about 10 days. Just like your case everything single thing came back normal and fine, I am also a bit overweight and even that wasnt really a factor all of my levels looked good. I also had stomach issues as a result too. Since May of this year I have probably had 50 or 60 attacks, and probably 8 of them major. Get in the car and drive a mile down the road and then it hits. My hands and chest go completely numb and it feels like im seconds from passing out. The whole time I still have no idea what it is in my brain triggering these. One major thing I finally discovered, was a lot of my anxiety attacks were happening in the morning, or when i first woke up in the morning. Some theories is its related to Cortisol levels, and the one thing I was consistently doing is drinking caffeine first thing in the morning. So for the heck of it i started waiting a few hours before i drink anything with caffeine in it, and so far I havent had any more attacks. Has been a couple of weeks so far. Even though you dont know me I hope it helps people like me know exactly what you are going through. Until someone does go through this I think its possible for someone to understand what it entails. I really hope you find something that works so you can get your life back

    • @Brian_R82
      @Brian_R82 18 дней назад

      I had my doctor prescribe me ativan that is the 1 thing that is kind of an insurance, if you have a major panic attack. The ativan will shut it down in about 15 minutes. Obviously not something you want to take a lot but I wont go anywhere without it just in case

  • @atglf733
    @atglf733 18 дней назад +2

    Missed you bro

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  18 дней назад +1

      Slowly making my way back.

  • @MrKingJavo
    @MrKingJavo 18 дней назад +5

    Take one day at a time. Try to enjoy the moment and pace yourself. Anxiety is real bro! You’re not alone. It will get better for sure. Trust me!

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  18 дней назад +3

      Anxiety is very real and very disabling at times. After months it is finally getting better to me. Taking life 1 day at a time for sure. Hope you are well and hope the business is thriving for you.

    • @MrKingJavo
      @MrKingJavo 18 дней назад +1

      @ Glad to hear bro! I struggle with some of that stuff as well. You’re not alone. Streaming and the internet takes a toll on us. Do what makes you happy and try not to stress too much. Making content is a killer. Same with games. Sometimes it’s better to take a break or completely walk away. Take care bro!

  • @alanblasczyk1779
    @alanblasczyk1779 18 дней назад

    Also, Merry Christmas Brother.

  • @scubieroo05
    @scubieroo05 17 дней назад

    Thanks for sharing. I too have delt with this in my early to mid 30s. Like you I was sure something was physically wrong with me but nope just anxiety. Pills helped with the panic attacks but now I thought I was just super lazy but maybe like you it’s the medication messing with me. I definitely feel that I have no motivation to do so many basic things now. Thanks for the share. Hope you continue to improve

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад +1

      Definitely talk to your doctor/psychiatrist. It could absolutely be the medication you are on. Some medication works a little TOO well

  • @northernassassin6056
    @northernassassin6056 18 дней назад

    Good to see.

  • @nobodyblues
    @nobodyblues 18 дней назад

    happy to see u back, cheers from italy

  • @WdawgSmith
    @WdawgSmith 17 дней назад

    Missed your content man Hope you are on a path to wellness

  • @BassistOfficial
    @BassistOfficial 18 дней назад

    Much respect to come out and talk about this man. Not an easy thing to do. Wish you all the best in your journey back. We've had our issues but I'll always be rooting for your well being and success my man. Take care

  • @jamellen1
    @jamellen1 17 дней назад +1

    cant wait to see you back my brother

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      Coming back with a vengeance next year

  • @dratx3106
    @dratx3106 18 дней назад

    Thank you and proud of you for sharing. I had a terrible panic attack years ago when I turned 30. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It was the most dark feeling I’ve ever experienced. Drinking was my trigger. Happy to say I’m 5 years alcohol free this year. Take all the time you need to get right!

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад +1

      Congrats on 5 years sober! That is huge and I'm sure your body thanks you.

  • @UhhhGerry
    @UhhhGerry 18 дней назад +3

    missed you

  • @Jr-zu3bh
    @Jr-zu3bh 18 дней назад

    Welcom back, bud nicesee you back.

  • @mikeyy131reacts
    @mikeyy131reacts 15 дней назад

    welcome back

  • @Gerald1177
    @Gerald1177 17 дней назад

    Glad to see you are doing better. Hang in there and take your time to get healthy….speaking of health I hope your lion’s defense gets healthy before that playoff run……….take care buddy.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      Well, it's not looking too good on the Lions front now. Sigh

  • @bmofano
    @bmofano 18 дней назад

    I vote for therapy, a better diet, and vacations.
    Stigma for talking about this stuff is long gone, specially at our age. Being able to talk about mental health is important, good job.

  • @callumdriver5886
    @callumdriver5886 18 дней назад

    Its very refreshing to see this video. Im sorry you live in a country where you have to decide between money and health. I live in the UK and i was fortunate enough to seek help free when my anxiety started kicking in. Mine got real bad over covid but what i noticed was that it attacks everything you love because that's whst you fear not having available, for example mine was flying (which i used to love) but i found a way to be anxious about it. Eventually, much like yourself, mine got so bad i started medication and the side effects can be awful to start with but they got better over time. I really hope whatever you're dealing with becomes manageable for you as soon as possible. Gradual exposure is the best therapy for your streams imo. Do like a half hour stream, then an hour etc. Hopefully this helps when you're in a space that you feel ready to get back into content more.
    Thanks for posting a video of this nature and i hope you have an awesome Christmas.
    Please remember that there are many people like you and every day is a new day. Its incredible just how much a day can make a difference

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  18 дней назад

      Yeah, healthcare in America is a crap shoot. Maybe someday it will change. I started doing little Discord streams last week to get myself accustomed to just streaming again. Thanks for the kind words and hope you have great holidays as well.

  • @Cavacom
    @Cavacom 18 дней назад

    it's hard to believe that the Detroit Lions are actually good and you can't even enjoy it. Please know that you are not alone and there are people who care about you and want you to get well soon. Hope to see you in better spirits soon.
    Go Lions!

  • @coreyg25
    @coreyg25 18 дней назад +1

    Bro, I appreciate your honesty and telling your story. I want to give you some advice that could change your life. I honestly am not trying to shame you are criticize what you have done so far in trying to resolve this. Medical doctors will not help, they will only prescribe medications because that's what they know and how they get paid. Therapists want your money so they are going to tell you you need therapy. I am telling you from personal experience and the experience of many people I know that have done the same thing, your diet is the main contributing factor to your anxiety I believe. There are many ingredients in the foods we eat that effect it with sugar is a primarily culprit. You should try the carnivore diet for a couple of months and see how that makes you feel. I bet it will make you feel way better, reduce or eliminate the anxiety and of course the added benefits of weight loss are great. This diet has been known to cure many ailments. I personally had anxiety as well as arthritis, headaches and now I do not have those things anymore. I have been on the diet for about 8 months now. I only eat steak, eggs, bacon and butter, but there are other variants of it that work just the same. I am just saying look into it, give it a try, I thin kit will change your life. No matter what I wish you the best!

  • @Vilzuplayer_1_just_do_it
    @Vilzuplayer_1_just_do_it 18 дней назад

    I have both generalized anxiety and a severe panic disorder. They r in control mostly now cuz im using meds. When i had my firrst panic attack it took many hours to calm down it was the worst experience of my life.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад +1

      I feel you there. I also have been diagnosed with both of those. I'm glad the meds have helped you, I'm waiting for my right combination. It's been a struggle, but I can see the end of the tunnel.

  • @timberwolf6395
    @timberwolf6395 18 дней назад

    Ur a funny dude, miss your content

  • @alanblasczyk1779
    @alanblasczyk1779 18 дней назад

    Wow, Zane, I see you all the time on Steam, under different names, I assumed everything was fine. I am behind you brother. If you need a friend, I am here to talk. Know that.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      I'm so bad at changing my name all the time on Steam lol
      Gaming is still a good way to take my mind off things. It keeps me engaged so that my brain doesn't wonder to anxiety thoughts. I use it kind of as a form of therapy.

  • @912jrod
    @912jrod 18 дней назад +6

    You just need the new 2k golf game lol.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  18 дней назад +3

      lmaooo you aren't wrong with this. Early next year hopefully!

    • @912jrod
      @912jrod 18 дней назад

      @@MoreRespawn 🤞

  • @UghhhAP03
    @UghhhAP03 9 дней назад

    Brother is it possible you can make a video on I can get the Jordan shoes or any of the shoes on pga tour I bought the Jordan pack thinking it’ll give me the shoes but i can’t even find it and for a year I’ve been trying and can’t seem to find any info about it for PS5

  • @DevinKeptGoing
    @DevinKeptGoing 18 дней назад +1

    Sounds like the enemy wants your soul but God won't let it happen because you're Chosen to eventually be a soldier for Christ. Thanks for sharing brother

  • @scotlandinvestor7779
    @scotlandinvestor7779 18 дней назад

    Demonic attacks are real my G
    Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
    Ephesians 6

  • @condescendingluigi
    @condescendingluigi 18 дней назад +1

    Here's your algo boost, back to twitch pls

  • @syntheticsylvie
    @syntheticsylvie 17 дней назад

    just saying, if your friends call you a pussy for going to a doctor, they are not your friends. period.

    • @MoreRespawn
      @MoreRespawn  17 дней назад

      I COMPLETELY agree. However, some men are still stuck in this mindset and haven't seen the way out yet. The more people who talk about mental health the better in my eyes.

  • @alanblasczyk1779
    @alanblasczyk1779 18 дней назад +1

    hi there 877-Cash Now