This Design Theory Can Help You Create a Happier Home
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Imagine designing a space for yourself that no one else will ever see... In this video we're going to look at how the "secret room" theory can help you create a happier home. It's time to stop trying to impress other people and do what brings us joy!
Apartment Therapy Article by Daniela Araya: apartmenttherapy.com/secret-room-decorating-idea-37398786
Ingrid Fetell Lee's School of Joy: schoolofjoy.co/
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Thanks so much for watching!!!
#secretroom #designtips #joyfulinteriors
That is exactly what I did 7 years ago after leaving an abusive marriage. I bought a small condo and had it completely gutted. I had owned 5 different homes in my life and knew what worked and what didn't for me and I knew that I would NOT be entertaining in this place because it is small. Every decision I made was for me alone. Seven years later and I'm still loving it. It is my refuge It brings me joy.
I love this!!! Thank you for sharing ❤️😊
I've had a secret room in my head that has barely changed since I was ten years old. A soft cushy window seat thats big enough to double as a bed, thick warm rugs on the floor, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves all around, and a Do Not Disturb sign on the door.
That sounds heavenly 😊
@@tarapallaychannel I know, right? Unfortunately my secret room remains solely in my head until my kids move out of home.... eventually.
@@KissMyFrog42 and then one of them no longer has a bedroom to come back to? Lol 😉😊
@@tarapallaychannel That's the plan!
I made a similar room in my house just a few months ago. All my books in one place, a daybed by the window, a comfy chair and a TV. It sits under the stairs, so I call the room the snug. And a month after that, I ruptured an artery and nearly died. I was too sick to walk upstairs or move around the house. I just about lived in the snug for 2 months and I was so grateful that I had a beautiful space I loved to recuperate in. I'm lucky in so many ways, I know it.
I want my home to feel like a warm bowl of maple oatmeal, with books, quilts and momentis. And unkillable plants
Lol. I can only keep a plant if it’s 100% unkillable 😉😊
Unkillable plants. I love that!
@@marci.abraham lol 😂😊
I am repainting my apt, adding some new light fixtures, making a cabinet for the bathroom and more. I'm not telling anyone because I want it to be a secret and I dont want any unasked opinions offered to me about what I choose. So the idea of a secret room, new to me, seems spot on!!❤
Nice!!! Best of luck with your reno 😊
I absolutely agree that a ‘Home’ is a place that is ours and makes us happy. It is a sacred space, a shelter from life’s storms and should be the one place on earth that welcomes us home and embraces us like a grandmother would. Intuition places such a huge role in designing that space. We are selling our place at the moment and it’s mind-boggling how many people have walked through and commented on colors (neutrals), furniture choices and how many Buddhas we have (apparently, one was too offensive) as opposed to looking at the actual structure on the market. Like I told a realtor…”Well, Sugar, when I bought this place and decorated it, I simply didn’t have you in mind”. That’s the way it should be, otherwise, we are living in someone else’s house. Thanks, Tara!
So well said!!! And WHY do people get so fixated on the non-permanent stuff when they’re buying a home? It’s so baffling to me. Why even express an opinion about things that won’t be there the day you move in? Thanks for watching 😊
It is so interesting, how we arrange our homes to " impress" others ....ideally you should walk in your home thinking "ah, here are things that make me smile : my favorite colors my favorite books, my favorite materials , my favorite heirlooms, photos and posters , my collection of kitchy souvenirs , round pebbles, bottle-lids or what ever .....simply a place where you sre allowed to play ( do that polka- dotted wall...) , and where entering make you happy and relaxed ...We are under the influence and rules of others during our working hours, and that should be enough 😊.....Every time I see a home or studio of an artist it is almost invarably a 'collection ' that is so individual , and not store- bought .....
Yes! This is so thoughtfully said. Thank you 😊
I agree! My whole house is a secret room! I do what makes me happy and don't worry about what is in or out of style. 😊
@@terriechastain8671Glad to hear it!!! 😊
I rarely comment on videos, but wanted to express how much I enjoyed your video. It feels very refreshing compared to others. Thanks!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it ❤️ Thanks for watching 😊
No joke!!!…. I JUST started doing this and I’m 54 years old 😅🥸
Better late than never! Lol 😉😊
Tara this really resonates for me! I grew up in a one-of-a-kind log cabin which really instilled a sense of "make it yours". Now, I encourage the incorporation of found treasures + storied pieces in ones space as they spark visual interest AND memories!
Thanks for sharing this video--I'm definitely going to speak to this term more often as it perfectly encapsulates my values around design.
I love this!!! Thank you so much for watching 😊
Thanks. In Japan we build, decor and dress black, white, brown, beige, gray all year long. You made me think perhaps because influences : rushing rushing full isogashii (busy) stressful life and we need serenity. But culture and nature too affects how we are. loved your no criticism and free individual style but as you say we need to know all kind of decor styles and other topics related: architecture, art, history …. Wow! already tired though I too ❤ decor. Love from 🇯🇵
I can certainly understand the desire for serenity - and Japanese design is so beautiful!!! I have never been to Japan but would love to visit someday 😊
@@tarapallaychannelif you come and you need any help and I’m available please contact me. 🥰
I think i have always just designed for myself. I use magazines and the internet for ideas of how but ultimately what I do is for me. I liked this video because there’s always ways to improve how we express ourselves and cultivate comfort.
Nice! Thank you so much for watching 😊
Wow, Tara, I’ve been studying design and soaking up everything I could find on the subject for about 15 years, and this video is the first time I really felt that “AhHa!” freedom to find my own take and own it. Thank you! 😊
Oh wow that’s awesome!!! Thank you so much 😊
So glad to see this talked about. So many people, my mother included, do the “Company is coming so I must furiously clean” thing. I never understood that because I wanted my home to be first and foremost for me. I do have a room that is just for me and I find myself shutting the door when company comes because it really is a room of comfort like an animal’s den. But any part of my home must make me feel good, not embarrassed or stressed or like I am looking at a task list.
And yes, sometimes things are messy and chaotic. That’s balance. I don’t worry about people seeing it, I’m just going to clean it up for my own cozy happiness when I eventually have time.
@@nimue325 Well said! Thanks for watching 😊
“Cue this debate on the color grey now” LOL 😂😂😂
If you don’t like grey that’s fine, but could we please stop making everyone who does feel bad about it? 😉😊
Thank you. I am in midst of choosing tiles and grey seems to be the best option but I have wiered random guilt regarding it being so disliked.
@@user-li8no6ik8t Grey is just another bunch of colors. There's a lady who sends out paint color emails; she tells what undertones they have, how much light they reflect, what families they fit in, and other things. I asked my husband's help picking out gray for a hall. He can see the greens and blues better than me. I have learned that I am a little color blind in those. Discovery lasts all through life, it seems! (God is good.) Thank you, Tara.
So excited to discover that you’re a fellow Albertan. I appreciate your design style and find your videos to be inspiring. Thank you.
Hi neighbour! Thanks so much for watching. I really appreciate it 😊
My uneducated guess is that independent individuals do create their homes as they want. They are not interested in opinions of others. But majority of population is very influenced or rather dependable on others’ opinion. And you have to be a psychologist to try to free these people from their insecurities.
Well this could very well be the case. I respect the individuals who can completely ignore the opinions of others - it’s not always easy! I do try though 😊
I just discussed this with a friend the other day. We both noticed that when we were married we decorated our homes always with the subconscious awareness of what our spouses would want. Living alone has given us the opportunity to decorate exactly how we want. It is very freeing!
@@marci.abraham it is not e a toy what I meant. It is obvious If you don’t leave alone both people views should be considered and discussed openly. What kind of relation is this if one partner do nit express themselves freely?
Saying ‘others’ I meant anyone not living at the house.
Happy to see another thoughtful video from you.
I mostly agree, but also slightly disagree, with your initial remarks.
In general, I think that critique is a valuable tool that helps us all improve.
I also think that how a person chooses to live is their business, and that extends beyond even the most valid of "objective critiques," because even if something is absolutely bad design by any metric, even if every aspect is ugly and clashes with every other thing (I'm just trying to imagine a hypothetical Platonic Ideal of tasteless mishmash in design), if that's how you choose (emphasis on "choose") to live, it really is none of anyone's business.
In between is where the fun starts.
If you're selling something, or doing promotion of some type, then judgment is just part of the deal and is generally morally neutral.
If a critique is educational and not just "eww, I hate that" then it has positive value, even when expressing a negative view. Pointing out mistakes and explaining why something does or doesn't work or how to better achieve a desired goal is a good teaching aid.
Then there's personal taste, and not confusing it with quality or fact. This is where I think some people stumble a bit, and where I'm guessing some of your frustration with some RUclips content comes from (I'm ignoring the "eww, ugly" people as they're not talking design, just mocking people).
If a Japandi-loving minimalist was doing a review of a Rococo-loving maximalist's home, I would expect them to understand the principles, values, and philosophy behind the choices made, and judge the quality of the design according to those parameters and that aesthetic, rather than according to how it failed to be a well-designed minimalist Japandi home, because it wasn't trying to be that in the first place.
This can become very tiresome.
You know those ornate chandeliers of the type you'd expect to see in a costume drama ballroom? The huge sparkly things with hanging bits of crystal that look like they could hold candles? I don't know what they're called, and I don't really like them. However, I do recognize the fact that some people love those things, and that like any item, they can be well made or badly made, they can go with the décor and architecture or not, they can be positioned in a more or less visually pleasing way, more or less effectively create a desired effect, serve their purpose well or not, etc.
So just the other day I was watching someone review one of those celebrity home tour videos, and he also doesn't like those chandeliers, which were a staple in that particular home. It was obvious the home owner loved them. And the reviewer just had to reiterate how much he disliked them, in every room, to the point that it started bothering me, despite agreeing with him.
The thing is, I wasn't learning anything new, and he had no insight into this feature, except to say what light fixtures he would've preferred instead, which is kinda like the hypothetical minimalist I was talking about. I just found it demoralizing to listen to.
I think I've rambled long enough. Apologies. Thanks for the introduction to the secret room concept.
Such a thoughtful comment! Thank you. I agree with you that critique can be helpful - my issue is more with the unnecessarily negative content that you know is done more for clicks than to offer anything constructive. Especially when it’s about calling something “out” simply because some arbitrary trend has supposedly come to an end. I prefer to try and help provide information to empower people to make better design decisions, rather than make someone feel bad about their choices. Of course we all have opinions, but let’s try to express them in a way that isn’t tearing each other down 😊
@@tarapallaychannel Absolutely. I prefer, and appreciate, your more thoughtful, calm approach to discussing things, and am less drawn to the clickbait dramatics, though, if I'm being perfectly fair, it's sometimes the case that the thumbnail and title are meant to draw attention, and the content can be more nuanced. Still, you make a valid point. It seems in content creation, as in design, we all have our personal style and preferences, so to each his own.
You're doing really well and I'm enjoying your content. Keep it up!
Well said! Thank you so much 😊
This is pure gold. Thanks ❤
Oh that’s so kind ❤️ Thank you 😊
My design choices are almost solely based on "hmm, what furniture can i actually afford? Probably something from Walmart but hey I have a desk now and it kinda matches my tv stand. Oh wow, my mom gave me those couch pillows and they happen to go with one of my six throw blankets! Ooh, a fake succulent from DG, nice! My sister painted that and she doesn't like it so its mine now! I did a paint by number and shes going on the wall right next to it."
I think a lot of people can relate to this!!! 😊
Yeah, many of the people here are very privileged and I don't think they really realize it heh
@@3nertia Very true. To be able to even think about design and decor in any way really is a privilege. It’s important to remember that! 😊
@@tarapallaychannel Especially when so many are stuck in suboptimal (and even unsafe) housing with no chance of getting out or doing better 😢
@@3nertia Yes. Where I live we are in a serious housing crisis. It’s terrible.
You are so easy to listen to and I really enjoy your cadence and content. Im truly surprised you have less than 1k subscribers. I thought it said 889k not 889. Youre definitely going places if you keep making content regularly!
Oh goodness thank you so much! This is so kind of you. I really appreciate it! ❤️😊
This was so helpful. I'm currently saving to have my attic converted into a bedroom....as it is just for me it'll be 'medieval treehouse' ....yeah, just for me, makes no sense to anyone else.😂
😂 Well as long as it makes sense to you - it’s your bedroom! Have fun decorating and thanks for watching 😊
Love the positivity!
Thank you for watching! 😊
I am struggling with this so much. Since I plan on renting out from time to time, or having guests over that also should feel happy. But since I have an energylimiting illness and I need to be laying down mostly, a place for me would look radically different to a place we are used to. Like I don't need chairs or tables but chillzones, daybed, office in bed 😂 and want to make it look like a design choice not a Sanatorium.
That must be very challenging - I’m sorry you are having to cope with an illness! At least there are stylish options for the functional pieces you need - cool modern daybeds, lounge chairs & ottomans that don’t look like Dad’s old recliner, armless sofas that can fold into a bed just by lowering the back. Be well and take care of yourself! ❤️😊
I have it. I call it my Paris room. Just mine❤️❤️
Lovely 😊
I love your photo illustrations. I take it that you are a designer. I have usee colors similarly, painting different walls different colors. Etc. If I study some of your examples, maybe I can come up with some quick touchups for our home. I'm trying to get it in shape for whatever the future brings, since we are old. Thank you very much for sharing!
Yes I am a designer. So glad you liked the photos I selected. Thanks for watching! 😊
So cool. When we can respect what few possessions the unhoused have as more than trash & restore humans to shelter we can truly transcend in our understanding of interior design ❤️🔥 shout out to those renters a step above that and below home owners dreaming of their freedom. We all deserve better. 😘
Yes!!! This is so thoughtfully said. Housing is a basic human right, and we have so far to go in improving the ways we address these issues. We do all deserve better ❤️ Thanks for being here 😊
Great video, I really enjoy listening to you.
Thanks very much! 😊
Perfect channel, so happy I found you :-)
Welcome! Thanks for being here - and for the lovely comments 😊
All yes.
Thanks 😊
Oh what I already have a secret room! No one ever comes in my master bedroom so I do whatever I want. What's sad is that it's so different from the rest of my house 🥲 and my husband loves the room too!
Hmmm… kinda sounds like you might want to make the rest of your house more like your bedroom if you both love it 😊
I bought a limited edition print by Doug Hyde because it made me smile and still does over a year later. I had been struggling to find the perfect colour for the hallway and ended up using the background colour in the print! So the print was the inspiration for the décor - not vice versa
I love that! Thanks for watching 😊
great ! We are building new rooms for our kids, this video make me smil, because this secret room idea is the definition for their creative way to let dream define there mood bord. And chape there space.
I love when kids are able to participate in creating spaces for themselves! ❤️😊
I suppose I'm happy that this video was not very eye-opening to me... because this is what I've already been doing my entire life 😂
Excellent! 😊
Me, too. That doesn't stop me from enjoying the pictures in Good Housekeeping, for example, but I don't strive to recreate it.
@@KristinaHoneyHavenFarm Fair enough ^^ I also really enjoy watching decor photos and videos, but have my own style anyway.. it's sometimes really cool to get inspiration tho
@@KristinaHoneyHavenFarm We can certainly appreciate it without feeling like we have to achieve it too 😊
@@MerryMoss Just taking it as inspiration and then doing our own thing 😊
Really good! Thank you for this.
Thank you so much! 😊
To those commenting on the cost of (re)design: design can be thrifted. It can be hand-me-downs. It can be whatever you can afford at the time. Sometimes it is just what you can live with. It does not mean you have to change everything. When I bought my first house in the 90s, the only new furniture I had was a sofa, mainly because no one else was getting rid of a sofa at the time. Someone gets rid of their end tables to redecorate and offers them to me: yes, please! They may not be my favorite design, but I can live with them because they are my favorite price (free). My husband and I built a small farmhouse because there were only outbuildings when we started our farm; most of our furniture and all our counters came from Habitat for Humanity Restores. It is furniture I love. If you get lucky, sometimes they have furniture sitting outside their loading area for free; I think this depends on your location. Finally, I love decor on my wall: all over my walls. This is mostly photographs honestly, and I know some people who can't stand what they call "cluttered walls." They don't judge me for what I like, I don't judge them for what they like. Anyway, my point is simply you don't have to spend a lot of money to create a pretty home.
This is so true! If you’re wiling to put in the time and a little creativity it’s amazing how much can be accomplished with very little! 😊
"Physocologically comfort " 👍🏽
@@tulayararat9183 So important! 😊
❤Intention is key.
Most definitely 😊
Geez - I've lived like this my whole life. (I'm also not on instagram)
Well done! On both accounts 😊
Currently working around designing a space that suits the preferences of both me and my spouse ☺️ any tips for this?
Oh yeah - this can be tricky. I’ve been there! I wish I had an easy solution, but ultimately I think it just comes down to compromise. You both have to accept that sometimes choices will go your way and other times they won’t. Good luck 😉😊
@@tarapallaychannel you're right 😊🥹
I saw a hometour of a couple both designers/creatives with extremely opposite style. The minimalist got most rooms to decorate and there where some areas the maximalist had whole rain over. That was a radical and fun way of compromise but not finding middle ground.
@@user-li8no6ik8t that's good to know. I have a traditional style whereas my spouse has a modern inclination ☺️
My style: Subtle Zelda theme 🤓
My husband is a longtime Zelda fan and would definitely approve 😊
Thanks, never heard of the secret room design idea! Btw your profile says you’re from Canada but you look like a New Yorker
It’s so funny you say that - my husband and I were in New York on vacation a few years ago and got asked for directions a couple times. So I guess we look like we fit in there? 🤷♀️ Thanks for watching! 😊
What you said about the right reason for choosing neutral colors to create a peaceful space 💯
Thanks so much! 😊
I'm 72 and have done this my entire life even as a child.
I was shocked by homogenized decor , so bland and devoid of personality, BORING lol
Yes! Amazing. Love this ❤️😊
tuned in .... thank you. Ditched the mid America yuck
Thanks for watching! 😊
Wait, people don't do that from the start?!Who cares what's trendy and what other people say, it's your home you will live in it for gods know how long, every f. day wtf I don't get it why anyone would want to compromise that
Agreed! But sometimes people find themselves being influenced by what’s on trend. I mean these are very calculated marketing plans designed to do just that. But we need to learn to see it for what it is 😊
I thought the Secret Room was going to be a room where you put all your random crap 😂
Now that is funny 😂😊
Taking advice from someone who has color arranged their books is difficult for a bibliophil..
Because I have a stack of three books with black covers? The rest of our books are in a bookcase and I can assure you it is not color coordinated.
@@tarapallaychannel not you, yours is fine. The designer you showed in the beginning (and talked about)
0.33
@@kirsinurmio9441 Oh!!!! lol. Yeah I wouldn’t organize all my books by color either. But I guess if it brings her joy 🤷♀️
First world problems
Yeah that’s true. It’s a privilege to be able to focus on design and decor in one’s home at all. I certainly recognize that.
Nice video, but terrible “vocal fry” making her message hard to listen to
Guess you should look for a channel you find easier to listen to 👋