My Mormon Mission Broke Me - Tara Herbert Pt. 1 | Ep. 1856
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- Опубликовано: 13 июн 2024
- Tara Herbert, born in Lake Charles, Louisiana, and adopted at age two by white Mormon parents from Utah, recounts her complex upbringing in a predominantly white and Mormon environment. Raised with four biological siblings, she navigates her identity as a black girl in Utah, where she initially struggles to recognize her racial difference. Despite feeling out of place, she engages with Mormonism deeply, experiencing conflicting emotions about her faith and cultural identity. Tara's journey evolves through high school, where she grapples with societal perceptions of blackness, sexuality, and Mormon teachings on race and gender roles. Her mission to Atlanta, Georgia, exposes her to systemic racism within the Mormon Church and the broader community, challenging her beliefs and sense of self. Despite enduring trauma and grappling with guilt and shame, Tara finds solace in her eventual marriage and motherhood, yet continues to confront the complexities of her Mormon upbringing and racial identity.
Episode Show Notes: www.mormonstories.org/portfol...
Chapters:
00:00:00 Intro
00:02:05 She was born in Lake Charles, Louisiana, adopted at age two
00:07:40 Siblings in the home when she was adopted
00:09:30 Growing up in Utah
00:12:50 Her experiences with Genesis
00:14:50 Family rules in their Mormon home
00:19:00 Questions about her adoption as a child
00:23:35 She was adopted through LDS family services, it was closed
00:25:25 She loved her family, loved her upbringing
00:26:40 Growing up in Utah as a black girl
00:34:50 Sexuality in High School
00:40:00 Attending parties as a teenager - drugs, alcohol and sex are still present
00:49:44 In Mormonism women are not allowed any type of sexuality, just the men
00:53:56 She never confessed to her Mormon bishop, she hated bishops interviews
00:54:35 She confessed to a Catholic Priest instead
01:12:50 Mormon racist teachings
01:16:00 She carried an invisible weight for not knowing
01:17:35 Her virtue was placed above all else
01:24:14 She didn’t see people on the stand that were people of color
01:30:15 Her mission experience
01:34:50 She was called to Atlanta, Georgia
01:40:14 People in the streets tried to grab her and save her from Mormonism
01:41:10 Being exposed to racist teachings on her mission
01:52:37 Asking “Do we have the curse of Cain?”
02:02:40 She grew to hate the temple
02:08:05 How did she survive those days?
02:08:40 Segregation still existed in Georgia, except in the Mormon Church
02:13:09 Getting sick and having to go home for surgery; she didn't want to return
02:14:10 One of the returned missionaries committed suicide (until 21:50)
02:26:17 How her mission ended
02:33:10 Experiencing complex PTSD
02:43:45 Background of her husband
02:50:50 They married a year after dating, not a temple marriage
02:51:25 The Mormon Shame Parade
03:03:20 They got sealed with their baby in the temple
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You will never know as a born and raised in Utah non Mormon bi racial how much you have helped me process my childhood.
Same. I deal with the trauma of what I experienced every single day.
@@deezyphillips3942 I had to really decompress last night. His t thinking of it makes me sad. WHO sends a black child to the most racist part of a state. The mormon church preys on the confussed and poor people of the world that is why they are a cult.
I cannot even imagine 😢how hard that must have been! I'm so glad this is helping u to untangle this mind f&*^ ! ❤❤❤❤
Hi Tara, German here and Christian. I am so sorry and horrified hearing from you about your experiences with this "white Christianity"! Reminds me in some ways of the "German Christians" during the Nazis time. It is a contradiction to what the real Jesus Christ was and is about. Sending you much love❤
I would never be a mormon especially as a black woman they didn't even allow blacks into their religion until 1980
I left the LDS Church for Doctrinal reasons when I was 36 yrs old. I am now 74 yrs old and her tears has wasted my strength in sorrow even a day after viewing her. The hurt of the religious betrayal never goes away although it has become manageable. I pray for her healing. I love her.
This young woman is speaking the experience of many black women in America, especially those of us who grew up in an all white community.. I feel her pain.
It’s a million times worse in MORMONISM
@@queenholiday8495 I can only imagine. I live in a large mormon community now.
@@queenholiday8495does it really matter which is worse?
Nothing is worse than racism in any form.. and that there is enough said
@flawdagal Of course it matters. If you have never lived this...don't try to minimize one single thing. Let them be.
This interview really shows us the raw damage Morminism does to women and especially black women.
Well black women have no business with that religion. I have detested it since I found out the nonsense they claim about the Native Americans. And I wasn't surprised when I found out what they thought about black people. No black person should have anything to do with it. We are made in the image of God and if anyone of any race has a problem with that they can kick rocks.
i was surprised to learn that slave auctions are still held in ga.
I’m from Louisiana, and I find it really interesting that Tara doesn’t think she looks black, but for her skin color. Had she been raised there, she would have seen so many people who look exactly like her, and people who are black but look like a different race or ethnicity entirely.
I’m not saying she would never have experienced racism or have had to confront internalized anti-blackness (all of us in a society built on white supremacy have to confront these issues), but she would have seen herself in the faces and features of others much more easily than she can even now.
I'm from Louisiana too and I totally agree. There are so many different shades and so many different features among black people here .
I’m giving her grace based off of where she grew up. But yeah black people look all types of ways…idk might be a subconscious defence mechanism or something
@@keekeejaanee Definitely. Grace and care in abundance. I was typing as I was listening, so I was a bit clipped. But I did listen to the entirety of the story she shared, and I felt community with so much of her experience even though I’m a never-mo. She’s a beautiful, resilient, bright woman, which I should have said in my first comment.
Yeah she realized that she is black when she was scared for her life in Georgia and they opened her eyes calling her the N WORD
Same I was confused when she said what she said about her features. I said to myself 'even if your skin was white and your hair was straight you would still look black to me' even her voice is the 'black girl raised in a white community voice" her eyes are almond but so are many black people and non black people her eyes arent "asian", but simply almond shaped, her nose isnt small but I think she meant it isnt the stereotypical broad nose maybe.
This hurt as a black woman listening to this woman describe her hair and features. The immersion in her community has clouded her perception of self.
You're not wrong! Haha
@taraherbert4723 I understand Tara. I grew up in a white community and faced those same struggles. I didn't see myself as attractive either because I looked different than the girls that got boyfriends. I didn't even have a black teacher until I went to college at an HBCU. My heart hurts because I know those same struggles minus being an ExMo
Yes it was a little disturbing black features are not a monolith . , We have different features hair eyes etc.
@@Crookedsmile885agreed. She’s still got a ways to go. She may still have some ingrained negative beliefs about blackness, black bodies, and the lie of black inferiority that need to be let go.
I felt this too. She has black features and doesn't recognize them😢
I think she is the best guest you have ever had. Her awareness and confidence in herself on things she did not understand were amazing.
I agree
Random black ppl on the streets of atlanta being so willing to jump to her help was so moving to hear
The, "Hey, you alright. " Took me out. That's us. Blink two times if these folks holding you hostage.
Period! I love us… and I wish someone had been able to help her get out sooner.
Im a Christian woman who found the clip on reels. I was compelled by what Tara was sharing. This is one of the most interesting podcasts. What a story!
Still gotta a few steps to go, huh?
@@ndeamonk24 ??
One Of The Worst. I Am Surprised That She Was Still Comfortable Talking To Those People About Her Upbringing And Experiences
Same
I’m adopted by white ppl, I’m native indigenous (Sioux) and black… sent to catholic schools my whole life… I was generally the only brown person in my schools in the 90’s / early 2000’s, until I got to high school. My folks acted like racism was over (that literally came out my mothers mouth) and was treated like me defending myself against racist catholic kids wasn’t justified.
I see you girl, I understand what you’re saying and know in many ways how you feel. When I went to St. Louis for the first time as a teenager I really understood racism and simultaneously felt taken in by community.
All the love to you.
As a white person who also was sent to a catholic school yes they are incredibly racist and homophobic.
Wow! I am so sorry ICWA failed you😢 this is why native kids must stay within native families
You must be from South Dakota. When I was stationed there, there wasn’t many people of color that were civilians. The Sioux tribe hated us as well.
@@Marletejoyner I was adopted across the country to the PNW..
Black people are indigenous people of America
Thank you for this interview. As a black woman who grew up in Utah as an agnostic, I converted to Mormonism. I couldn’t reconcile with the indoctrinated racism and sexism. I always felt sorry for young people who grew up in the church. I grieved when I had to teach Sunday school because I thought it was immoral to teach kids Mormon beliefs.
I am a Christian. I don't teach or indoctrinate my child and ever have and she calls her self a spiritual Christian on her own. We only believe in Jesus. None of that old testament Mysogynistic crap. I didn't feel it was morally right to teach her when I could not accept some of the things in the Old Testament. I do however agree with everything Jesus taught.
LibralLeo, are you still active in the church?
@@brasguven742 No. I stopped about 5 years after I joined.
@@LibraLeo325oh okay, I asked because I am black Latina and in church for many years and had not realized how it was actually hurting my self esteem and creating trauma until I intentionally stopped going. I can’t see myself going back.
I know for some people it’s either Mormonism or nothing, I still believe in God and in Jesus and have felt their love and support in ways I could not have imagined. This is long but I like to add that because I feel it’s important to believe, worship God and not church or Mormon culture, which many seem to do. You can’t be Christlike and racist.
@@brasguven742 I’m sorry for your experience. I absolutely believe in God and it was my experience with the church that helped strengthen my belief. I never thought I would become a convert because I was raised among Methodists and Catholics, lol! It was really hard to leave the things I loved about the church but I felt so uncomfortable too often. I’ve recently practiced Buddhism which seems to align best for me. It’s interesting you are black Latina! I’m half Mexican. Loved to hear that! Any way thank u so much for sharing. I hope for the best for you on your journey
I'm thoroughly believe that raising Black children in Mormonism is spiritual and emotional abu$3. I sincerely don't understand why people subject their children to it. I've watched a few of these and it's really troubling.
Sending young black people to knock on doors in deeply racist areas is disgustingly irresponsible. How many times have black men and women been shot for simply walking and being black in the "wrong neighborhood"? I am so glad she was smart enough to stay away from certain homes.
Tara is one of the most eloquent and in the present person I’ve ever seen on Mormon Stories Podcast revealing what a “meat grinder” Mormon culture is.
I was raised evangelical and I remember how worried I was about the second coming. I always prayed that the second coming wouldn’t happen while I was a child.
Same. I watched something on TV about what it would be like and started to cry, asked my mom if that would really happen, and she gently tried to tell me yes, till finally she just said ' you might not be alive ' (we believed that when u die ur basically sleeping, waiting for the second coming) . I remember hoping that would be the case
Tara's mormon story really drove home a piece of the horror of mormonism in a way that no other Mormon story I've watched has. I've always wanted to see more Black people share their stories but I think the internalized colonization keeps them from opening up publicly about their unique struggles in mormonism.
Tara, your mission story is so heartbreaking. I was a member of the Mormon Church until I resigned five years ago and living most of my life in sheltered Utah. Your experiences on your mission hit me hard. I'm elderly and I feel like I know nothing of the truth of this country. Also, I am closely related to Gary Herbert. I'm from his biological family. The poor side that no one wants to acknowledge, lol. Thank you for your story, I'm looking forward to Part 2.
I actually am a member of the church, and spent decades with african american women.
This broke my heart to hear her cry and break down.
She is a divine woman.
May Tara find Peace
she is not looking for peace just attention. that story she made up about ga is disgustingly self serving.
My mission was a brutal abuse experience. 20 years later I'm still dealing with the trauma of it all. I'm somewhat certain that if for not the mission, i might still be in the church. The Mission broke me.
Where was your mission?
@@user-bw3fl7fj9w I served my first year in Lisbon South Portugal. The second year was in Cabo Verde, West Africa.
i would like to hear more about your story if you're willing to share
@@mindeloman What on earth is the Mormon Church doing in Africa spreading its doctrine in which dark skin is considered a result of divine judgement? The unholy audacity!
Lmao. Erm excuse me, the Angel Moroni says xyz. Lmao that's just racism cloaked with the garb of religion like a lot of Christian denominations actually are at their origins. Goodness!!!
Holding space for you. I'm sorry you went through that.
When this beautiful young woman started crying I started crying. I can't imagine how hard this all hit her. My heart wants to give her a hug
When Tara talks about how she went through her own Gethsemane, and was "broken for Christ and the Mormon Church" and then said, "I will never leave the Mormon church, because if it is this bad with it, how would it be without it?"
It broke my heart. This is what the leaders of the LDS church want you to think, so you will never leave.
I've been watching MormonStories for years and this episode with Tara Herbert is the MOST interesting, honest, informative, authentic, heart wrenching yet inspiring episode I have ever experienced. Tara is an incredible person with a strong inner resilience that is inspiring. She's the kind of person that I admire. Thank you Tara for sharing your story. I wish you all the best in life.
every single word she said about ga is an evil lie meant to get attention
@@savinghistory642 not at all a lie, I know from personal experience. My dad was an officer stopped in Georgia simply because of his skin color. The officer was honest enough to tell him that, he also told him you need to get out of here before it gets dark. If it gets dark and you're caught here you may not make it back home to NY. I'm going to let you go but who knows what another officer will do. My mother's from Georgia and I've seen things they've done and said to her when I was a child 30 years ago, so no it's not a lie, it may not have happened to you, you may not know people who do such things, but I do. Simply because it's not your life experience doesn't make it automatically a lie.
so a racist police pulled your father over for no other reason than he is black then admitted to racial profiling and warned this black guy he did not know to be out by sundown? where was this? what town in ga did this? makes for a good victim fantasy but it never really happened. you people need to stop throwing lies onto the fire of racial hatred before it blows up on you. and by you people i mean all who tell and all who believe this tripe. now share the horror stories of your personal witness of white people in ga treating your mother badly. include town names and specifics please. i'll get the popcorn.@@cherylj.9442
Margi is the best cohost!
Love how Margi lights up in podcasts like this timely one.
Love that she makes guests feel heard & understood.
Margi brings so much to every episode she’s in.
Her presence is perfect, especially for this guest.
I agree, she interacts very intuitively and without the restraint John seems to display. I love the pair. In this interview. Great balance. ❤❤
I dream of a day when skin color is truly irrelevant. Tara, you are a beautiful, intelligent, eloquent young woman. Thank you for sharing your story.
Amen. Racism is so primitive. We all bleed the same. Many black people become more and more mystical in the meantime while the racists stay stuck and limited. No need to pity
Until then what are you doing to reject racism and hold yourself and others around you accountable?
@@generationjonesy
Until then what are you doing to reject racism and hold yourself and others around you accountable?
Behaving like this with me is not helpful. YOU are behaving like a racist.
Totally agree with your comments @jeannemarie5908. I grew up in a small rural town in CA and the elementary school I attended, was mainly Mexicans, then Blacks, then Whites. They joked with me and called me albino😂. But we all just saw each other as friends. Being 61 yo now, I still don’t understand racism. Didn’t grow up going to church with family, but a neighbor took me for a while to their church. Became a Christian in my young adulthood. Maybe growing up as I did, I just don’t have an opinion towards a person because of their race. I definitely know more white “bad” people than any other race! I do look forward to the Second Coming as we will all be equal as God intended🙏🏼
33:00 My heart breaks. At this moment when she said/asked if she has “white” features I was floored. I am also African American. Nothing about her features are white. Black people are a wide variety of features from straight hair to the most curly afro, narrow noses to broad noses. I pray that she gets to travel and learn about her ancestry. It’s totally not her fault, but as an African American woman it shook me to the core. And his response was like, okayyy. This is a real life version of Toni Morrison’s book The Bluest Eyes. 1:56:05 This is infuriating. It’s so cruel that they even allow Mormons to adopt black children when their faith automatically subjects a child to psychological abuse.
she seems to envy white people for their features and is retaliating by lying about how they act.
It got me too when she said she didn’t have Black features. All I see on her are black features and it’s apparent her upbringing has jaded how she perceives herself and her culture.
I felt that too!
Said/ask is the perfect way to put it. I appreciate the hosts held space for her without answering. The was very honest.
I hope she continues to heal. She is scared to hurt her parents and it shows. But even her ability to share feelings on them being potentially racist is brought o reconcile. I hope she continues to travel on this journey.
Im a mentor to a ten year old black girl and love her and her mom very much. Shes way taller than her classmates, has no good father figure, and we live in a very white town, which all contribute to her struggles with sense of self. Her mom freed herself from a fundamental baptist family and i see in her daughter the same firey spirit i see in you, and me and her mom are working hard together to make sure that this society doesnt crush her sense of self. I hang out with her every saturday and i am so proud to see her grow into a confident young woman despite all the bullying, casual racism, and lack of support. She reminds me every day that the kids are alright.
I grew up in Utah got married in Utah and after having 3 kids we adopted our son who was black. We only lived in Utah for 3 months after we adopted him and we couldn’t believe the looks we use to get. Then we moved out of state and life changed because we were around black people and had close black friends. We are so glad we didn’t bring him up in Utah. The church out of Utah is so different. Even on my mission I noticed how different the church was. I don’t go to church anymore and love this podcast. It’s really eye opening what you learn after leaving. Tara you are awesome and loved your story! Made me wonder what my son thought and felt and how I probably failed him.
Definitely didn't fail him, you got him out
I’m a Nigerian, first state I landed in and currently am is predominantly white.
Race has never been a factor in my life and going from that to 100% being racialized, I know I’m not raising my daughter in this state. Now I know why Nigerians would rather stay in Texas, Maryland, New York ...
This is wrecking my confidence as an adult, imagine what it would do to a child.
What state are you in?
confusion@@Utubeblessed247
Absolutely it's a racist environment in America
buh bye
Check out Canada 🇨🇦
Omg- random Black people stopping and offering to rescue her when she was on her mission. 😂
Black people might talk ish , but we ride for our peoples!!
@@missstrizz5252then how come the community looks like that?
@@purplelove3666like what?
@@purplelove3666 It's like a dysfunctional family; we can't stand each other but damned if an outsider is gonna fk with any of us!
I've never clicked on a podcast so quick! My Mormon Mission Broke Me, is the most relatable validating thing I have ever heard. Just started it and can't wait to listen
It really broke my heart! I had to stop and come back to finish listening. It made me so angry, hurt and disgusted for the beautiful souls that were crushed by these sickening teachings. I can't blame anybody for feeling betrayed! I know I would! 😢
Tara is a phenomenal young woman. Her story, especially starting with her mission is heartbreaking. I heard so many similar story lines as I've heard from other LDS young people...no sex education, no drug or alcohol education, for people of color being told there is no racism anymore, no real knowledge of church history, no mental health help, etc. My heart breaks for what she experienced. But I'm happy for the man she met and married (at least so far, lol). Tara, you are remarkable! I'm eager to hear the rest of your story!
She was being bullied by a man who had power over her. Bless your heart. Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending love ❤️
By far thee best Interview to date. I’ve watched every interview. This one HIT DIFFERENT. Also love your verbiage and how you navigated the conversation. She is a QUEEN 👸🏽
I always love when Margie joins the discussion!! She speaks with such love and compassion to your guests... And, she asks such deep and thoughtful questions!! Margie is delightful!!
I served in Georgia at the same time. I experienced a lot of the same things. It helps knowing I wasn’t the only one experiencing most of this. You’re not the only one who was done at the end of their mission. I’m so sorry you struggled Tara.
so now you are claiming that racial slurs were used against you in ga? ever consider that no one wanted to be browbeaten about a cult that was founded on stolen goods and murdered pioneers?
I served a mission almost 30 years ago and I'm still dealing with so much garbage (mostly from being in close proximity to the mission president and his family and APs).
Sounds like moving might be a good idea
@@ah5721 oh I meant during my mission!
What did they do to you?
They were a toxic family. The APs were extremely misogynistic.
Is AP affair partner or something else? Sorry, non Mormon!
This episode is in my top 5 favorite. What a great guest!
Omg!! My heart💔 Tara you are beautiful and amazing! You are IN YOUR PURPOSE right now.
only if that purpose is making up lies to get attention
Just want to give you a big hug! Im so sad that us big personality people get told to be quiet and little. Let’s be big and loud and happy that we get to make our own rules now!❤
I’m not Mormon but moved to Utah (for the hiking!) almost six years ago. The strangest thing I experienced here was how women responded to me when I expressed emotion or opinions. I constantly felt like an outsider. No one gave me eye contact when talking to one another in a group. It was awful. I’m so glad I retired and no longer have to deal with the social environment here. It’s traumatic and caused me a lot of stress.
I have been told my personality is too big my whole life. It crushes your soul after a while.
i think you are big and loud enough
Growing up in Ut as a Polynesian female in the church, Has never felt safe to me. For so many reasons as to what this episode touched on 🙏🏽 The fear of the 2nd coming was drilled into our heads, it was so toxic! Thank you for your consistent amazing content 🙌🏽🤍
OMG, one of the best episodes ever. Tara’s story is so important in so many ways. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug her. Thank you Tara, for your bravery in sharing your story. I know you have a much brighter future ahead of you.
I just feel so very bad for Tara
I wanted to hug her so many times. I think if I was there with her while she was telling this story I would have burst into tears and just ran to her and hugged her so tightly. I probably would have frightened her by hugging her so intensely!
Me Too. I Was Crying With Her
That was a shock to me that some ppl never met a black person. Utah was a slave state. We went to a Dennys in Utah and a small child asked his mother why is that man so dirty she just decided to shush instead of explain and teach. So weird
I’m a millennial, and being mixed and being born & raised in those times were something I’d never wish on my worst enemy. I’m extremely fair skinned and even I got called the N word so much my parents had to help me mesmerize a canned phrase back.
too bad you did not get educated. mesmerized means hypnotized. i think the word you need is memorize which means to remember. what phrase did you use?
The best thing about going from mormonism to Christianity, is the ability to live in grace.
Good interview. However, I was taken aback that she thinks she doesn’t have Black features except her skin tone. I hate to break it to her, but…
Black is beautiful. No one should be ashamed.
So sorry, my brother committed suicide in 2005. I know what that's like. When I was married, I was diagnosed with a mental illness.
💔
Not every person is cut out for missions. I knew my kids were not so I left the Mormon church. The pressure was too much and I knew things would never be the same. I was also a single mom ( still am ) and had ro accept the loss of friendships and emotional support, but I made it. I had tons of missionaries at my home for dinner and i could always tell the ones that were having a really hard time and missing home. However, there were missionaries that absoluely loved it and seemed in a higher vibration from the experience. There's a lot of pressure within the church and from parents to go on a mission. It should be something a person genuinely on their own wants to do, not because of parental pressures. Thos young womans story is not exclusive to the LDS church, this type of treatment os a reflection of society as a whole. Her experience is just another mirrored reflection of what we as a society need to do as a whole. She is very, very beautiful and I wish her the very best. Also, she had the facts straight ..which gives her story credibility. Some guests on here im like what ?? But not this young lady, shes right on. Much love 💗🙏💗🙏
Tara is such a lovely person. What happened to her in Georgia is unforgivable.
Those of us outside the U.S. are horrified at the violence there. There's a government site where we can check the dangers of other countries. The U.S. is up there with the most dangerous. It lists guns and Police violence.
I hope Tara finds peace and happiness, because she deserves that. Definitely one of the best guests on MSP.
A great deal of the violence is racialized, so not everyone is unsafe in the U.S. Also, people all over the world act violently towards minority groups. Systemic oppression is and always has been global.
Please do your research about Barnesville, GA. The things she describes about slave sales, etc.. are 100% FALSE. In fact the town is over 50% African American. Tara needs prayer, because she is a very disturbed young lady to tell such lies.
@@rebeccavick5920you are a liar. That place is segregated as hell and racist and horrible.
@@rebeccavick5920idk if the fact there are black people there disproves much of what she said.... especially if there is a "black side of town" and a white side
100 % Correct. It Is Going To Get Worst If That KKK Donald Win The Election
Incredibly heartbreaking story. Thank you so much for sharing, Tara.❤
Hope you know what an amazing person you are Tara. Your insight and ability to name things as they are is astounding. Looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.
I’m sorry for the pain the church caused you. Thank you for sharing with the world. Your story is power and truth!
What a powerful mormon story. Thank you Tara, Margi and John!
I was born and raised in the Pentecostal church. Preachers kid. I felt the same way about not being able to grow up and have a family because the rapture was going to be at any moment.
What? The rapture can happen any moment. Elaborate on your story
I relate so much to her experiences. The hypersexualization of women of color isn’t talked about enough in the fundie spheres. It’s damned if you do damned if you don’t. If you, god forbid, want to express your sexuality - it’s an invitation for men / boys to use you and discard you, but if you don’t you probably won’t get romantic / intimate attention period because we are really just seen as an experience rather than people worthy of love and commitment.
is that why most blacks are born oow? maybe you could use some self control and not lay down for whoever walks by
I know Tara says continuously that her parents and leaders had no language and tools to help, which is gracious, but my thoughts are that at the very least they could have TRIED a few things to help her. I feel like Mormonism hacks into the parent and child relationship and in general makes it much worse. 😭😭😭😫😫😫
What a raw and vulnerable story. Tara, Thank you so much for sharing and so sorry for everything you had to go through. 💕
I agree 100% with what Tara says that missions are about for males. I also bled for 2 and 1/2 months and I had to beg my mission president to go to the hospital and see a real doctor. I was serving in Hong Kong at the time and he kept sending me to Chinese doctors and you know that is different than American medicine. When I finally saw a western doctor, he was sickened about the medication I was on. It was completely screwing my hormones up and he did fix me and I am grateful for that. But it took a long time and I was sick. And then my dad died and that's another story
I'm so sorry......
I absolutely love how at 2:33:13 Tara doesn't seem sure that she could call her symptoms PTSD and how her face changes and you can see she feels validation as soon as John and Margie are like yeah absolutely
Tara is a beautiful soul!
You guys were so wonderful with Tara. There was lots transparency regarding race religion and relationships and you guys did not get defensive or make it feel awkward and that’s rare. Great interview! You’re all such awesome human beings 💕
Thank you for being willing to talk about this. I think it's very to important to hear about the experiences of trans-racial adoptees. The notion of being saved and having to be grateful is prevalent even in non-religious settings and I'm glad to see adoptees finally being heard a bit more. It has been (and still most often is) about the adoptive parents, when the rights of adopted children must be written into law, protected and their voices heard.
I feel I can relate in some aspects, in that parents of autistic people are often listened to, rather than us autistic folks ourselves.
Sending lots of good vibes from Denmark and thank you again!
Your real-ness is so refreshing, Tara. Thank you for your story! Wishing you all the peace and joy in this life!! ❤
Never Mormon but this is most powerful story. Thank you.
This was such a draining story to listen through. To know it's someone's real life experience and several other people are living like this, is heart wrenching.
Wishing her and others like her true happiness because everyone deserves to be happy.
Thank you Tara!! You are beautiful and resilient. I can relate to many things you shared. I am quite a bit older than you former member (African American woman) who served an 18 month mission in Oakland California in the 90's.
Tara seems like such a wonderful, loving person ♥ I can't wait to hear the rest of her story!🌻🌼🌟
I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. Thank you for you authenticity and transparency, Tara!
As soon as she said she was sent to Atlanta, I did an audible gasp. I knew what was coming.
Wow this episode was so powerful. You did an amazing job Tara! I can't wait for part 2
Explaining racism and the devestation of slavery as a deserved consequence because of god’s plan. 💔💔💔💔Wow. What a terrible mind eff! I’m so sorry you went through this. 💔I am loving this interview. So much love to you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❣️
Can’t wait for the next episode!
If she says the word like one more time im going to scream😂
Shows you how “fake good” these people were. To subject this young girl to what she went through in Barnesville GA. The deception and lack of care for her safety is crazy BUT far from surprising. The absence of communication & transparency welcomes a cesspool damage & destruction.
I guess it’s all about perception but I see it as a detriment to the psychological & emotional state of melanated children who are adopted by whites especially when they are in super religious groups/cults. Id love to her from her bio mom and what would make her think the LDS would love, accept, and cultivate her baby into a strong, confident BALCK woman. Religion is a bunch of patriarchal racist BS and Mormonism is COMPLETE B.S and traumatizing to the mind. (Clearly)
Tara, sis, you’re EVERYTHING. I’m so sorry you went through this and felt so alone. To have your upbringing and experiences and come out as beautiful, strong, and full of grace shows your resilience. My advice, KNOWLEDGE OF SELF! Find as many conscious black people as you can and get your cup filled, sis. I love your BEAUTIFUL CHOSEN BLACK SELF❤️
The mission part of Tara's story has me feeling so much compassion for Tara. OMG.
What an absolutely gorgeous, articulate, powerful human ❤️
She is really funny, like just has great timing and a great comedic voice and timing
Im from southern Louisiana and as I listen to her story, I’m trying to put aside my biases and hear her experiences for what they are. I’m sure being adopted by a white family, being the only fully black person in your family, and not being in touch with your birth family can really mess with your self-perception. When she says she doesn’t look Black when she has straight hair, it is baffling because she looks like many people in my family. There are many Black women (with two Black parents) in Louisiana that look like her. But I feel like she’s othering herself since that’s been a typical event in her life. I think there’s more room for identity development there.
Haha Agreed and I was raised with other adopted siblings who are black and will say that it probably comes from not feeling black enough. Definitely was having and still having an identity crisis lol but I feel like I look like my biological mother and I’m proud to be black. Thanks for watching!
@@taraherbert4723I definitely admire your courage to come on the platform. I’m not Mormon but I empathize with your experiences as I also dealt with similar issues in that going to a predominantly white Catholic school and wrestling with not feeling attractive and trying to figure out where I fit in, and I grew up in a household with supportive Black parents and community so I can only imagine having to wrestle with these internal thoughts with no one who fully understands. But I wish you well!
@@sincerely5906 That’s exactly it, I think Mormonism/ not seeing other women who looked like me just adds another layer to not developing a healthy self identity or connection to my black community. There’s some internalized racial biases but I’m a work in progress. Wishing you the best as well!
When I hear stories from former LDS missionaries, even those who did not feel traumatized by the experience, I always have the question, "Where is the compassion? Where is the grace and mercy of God?"
Well there is not a belief in the true God in Jesus Christ so its no wonder that true grace, true compassion and true mercy is not being displayed.
Be well and be at peace.
I was a convert who contrasted with "Lifers" you could see no difference on the outside. But it was under the radar. I wasn't invited to Tupperware parties. Nothing overt but they wrote a line in the sand. My daughter age 5 said, "Mommy! She doesn't like you!" I asked her why she said that. She said, "Because when you passed her in the hall. (At the Church!) She rolled her eyes white. I relate to her. She had it even worse!
Great interview. Thank you for being willing to come tell your story. In so many ways I loved my mission but it broke me too. It was so hard. It would feel impossible to put into words just how hard and dehumanizing it was. I remember toward the end of my mission thinking I could never overtly encourage anyone to go on a mission because I knew what they’d be getting themselves into. I was a white girl from Utah in northern Florida and southern Alabama. I was so shocked at the segregation and racism I saw. What you went through was much harder than what I experienced. Especially coming face to face for the first time with the racist beliefs of the church for the first time while you were on your mission. You’re awesome.
"Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make -thought- crime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it."
That is hilarious going on a mission and slapping an ankle monitor on your kid as parental control 😂 Tara, you are absolutely gorgeous, btw. Gotta say, this is one of the best interviews I ever watched. Thank you for such an honest account of your experiences as a POC growing up in the Mormon church which I anticipated would be rough but I never considered how traumatizing and dangerous these missions were for young people, in general.
How is this okay?
It wasn't the parents who put on the bracelet, it was the police! She said it was because he was Involved with drugs.
This is an excellent point supporting DEIB curricula and systems and critical thinking education nationwide!
Tara, your story was so heartbreaking but it will help so many people. You are strong, courageous, and beautiful inside and out. Thank you for sharing with us.
I wasn't raised as a Mormon but grew up Seventh Day Adventist, and I understand how the church can hurt you emotionally. I left when I was 19 years old.
I'm sorry that Tara had to go through that. 😢
I can't believe all the crap this poor woman went through on her mission😦
Thank you for sharing ❤ Looking forward to Part 2!
That's what got me black skin reminds me of kkk
Whew. I am so sorry that no one gave you the support around your friend passing. I wasn't there and my heart feels broken for all of you all. I am definitely going to see the Morman mission guys who come to my neighborhood in a new way...
I haven’t finished the episode yet. But I hope she has found her peace. Her voice and perspective are so powerful.
I've listened to Mormon Stories for a few years now.(NEVER MORMON)......my heart broke for Tara and her experiences! Really, do they really want their missionaries to go through these kind of experiences? John and Margi.........you were so delicate and kind with her! Thank you for sharing!
OMG???? This is so heartbreaking. She's experienced so much.
There’s such a focus in lds culture on the afterlife that I feel like they belittle death. You can be grieving and they are like “oh man it’s fine we’ll see them again” and sometimes it’s SO hard to not get a regular reaction that it’s sad.
An incredible story to hear. Thank you so so much to all of you!! Incredibly helpful for expanding perspective
Exmo who grew up in ATL here. I had almost the inverse experience as you. Utah Mormon parents but raised in the south. You are so inspiring.
I’m a recovering catholic (LOL), and it is both funny and horrifying to hear how similarly premarital sex is vilified in another religion. Thank you, Tara, for sharing your story!!!❤
Thus touched on lots of important things, many already covered in previous comments. I want to mention 1) Mormons don't talk about things 2) they don't have language for a lot of needed aspects of life 3) They end up naive and immature about many things, including personal safety. 4) they aren't allowed to choose to not be uncomfortable or not put themselves in overly stressful situations. It's a sad way to live.
I really enjoyed this story! Thank you for sharing!
How she describes interacting with white people in the south is the same feelings I had while living there, especially outside the cities and I am white. I didn't know what to expect from them. I was often afraid of them.
Also since I was white they never felt like they had to censor their racism. Which is always fun!
Some background I grew up in a poor area in the North. I always had friends of different races. We didn't care what color we were. We were all just dealing with the same crappy economic situation.
I was lucky enough to work at my job while in the south supporting the local black credit union with their information technology. They were by far one of my favorite customers while I lived there. Can't say enough about how friendly, pleasant, and easy to work with, and not crazy!
I hope we can continue to work to eliminate racism in our country. It is nothing but shame on what should be a country of a beautiful mix of colors.
I went to Alta high school. Pepper Wood parties were very popular and everyone would want to go! 😂
She went through all emotional stages while just sharing her experience. This was very cleaning and therapeutic for her . A weight was lifted from her and everyone needs to release those traumatic experience 🙌 🙏 👏
another wonderful episode. i always look forward to long form interviews.
So heartbreaking. I am adopted and it was not good but this makes me feel better. I feel her pain.