How long have you been following our channel? We would like to know. On another note, watch this video next to help you learn more: 6 Signs of Unspoken Attraction ruclips.net/video/RUyeCxSvgBE/видео.html
You are looking at the video through the bias of you being down on yourself (which I'm quite good at myself) and thinking you're unattractive. I know it's like impossible to look at yourself objectively, I would base any elements of self image on a youtube video, with all due respect to psych2go, which is a great channel, but they have to speak in generalities.
One of my favorite memories was playing with my 3 year old nephew. The sillier I acted, the harder he laughed. We were both laughing really hard when he exclaimed, "Uncle Tim, you're so...BEAUTIFUL!!!" It was an unusual choice of words, but I think that in that moment of carefree happiness, that's how he saw me. Beautiful. I'm not ugly, but I've never been called that before. It's a memory I will carry for the rest of my life. Man I love that kid.
Remember guys: there's a lot more to being attractive than having certain physical features. Being healthy, being nice, being hygienic and dressing well Edit: apparently my statement was too complicated for SOME people to understand 🙄🤦🏾♀️
@@asrield2032 In a sense yes. However depending on the situation dressing well contributes to others view of you as a person more then you looks. Most obvious example is how you dress for a job interview. You can have nice clothes that still doesn't match the dress code of said work place and you might have less chance of getting employed. If you put thought into what you wear then others will notice that you don't just dress well, you dress with purpose. And this goes for both having nice clothes for parties and job interviews, but also clothes that last in rain and snow outside. Having the right clothes for the right moments in life is a very underated thing imo (i know because i'm a lazy dresser by heart lol). But this does NOT mean you have to wear the most expensive clothes. If you find a nice, put together fit at a second hand or buy something cheaper online it will work just as fine as new clothes from a fancy store. Most of the time it's actually how it fits that influence your look the most, especially when it comes to tuxedos, business dresses and suits. Well as long as the color scheme isn't the Joker, but that could be fun at a halloween party!
@@X_Entity_X Did some spacing to make it easier to read, but it's up to you if it's interesting. It takes less time to read my comment then watching the entire video, so if you don't have the energy or interest in the subject what are you doing here? Not that the comment in question was directed specifically towards you...
While I always hope that I am physically attractive, I think it’s the sweetest thing whenever someone says that I’m really easy to talk to/they feel like I really get them. It’s nice to know this is a good thing and not I exude “therapist” vibes 💀
@Cleetus_Nevalackin You've raised a very important point here but in the same vein, impressing societal expectations upon ourselves isn't going to do us any good either. I understand where you're coming from in saying this as I've suffered from very bad cases of acne and it still haunts me today as I enter adulthood.. but if there's something that can tank your societal charisma: enthusiasm, being genuine and well spoken will be your best bet fam 💙💙
@@wavelength3278 you’d think that, but I’ve amassed so many partners/failed relationships cause ig the people around me confuse genuine interest in interpersonal relationships as flirting? We traumatized out here, it happened a lot in high school where a friend who I thought was JUST A FRIEND was like “I like you” and cause I needed therapy (I’m in therapy) I just said “okay” and that was the start of basically all my romantic endeavors
@@belle-mariephan918oof that would be a nightmare for me, if my friends say that to me it would kinda hurt me a lil bit cause they are only my friend cause they want to date me and not a platonic relationship, and I wouldn’t know what to say in that situation too 😭
Trait 1 = Failed. Trait 2= I do exercise but 😢 Trait 3= Not really (sad). Trait 4= I barely have any hobbies but when I do express I feel like I'm bragging. Trait 5= Well people ignore me even when I'm talking to them. Can my self esteem be any lower 💀
I feel you, bro. Well, I'd say to spend more time around people who do listen to and take genuine interest in you, because people who don't listen just tend to bog things down anyway. That means they're unattractive! And I'm sure you can see why. And otherwise, you're not bragging as long as you're not putting anyone down. You're allowed to talk about your interests! It might feel awkward, but it gets easier over time, and around the right kind of person, it feels natural and not so awkward anymore. I hope this helps ❤
Great confirmation that I am unattractive. Some of the things that are described here as being attractive qualities have only ever really made me feel ostracized by others. 1 - I try to connect to people on a genuine level, but most only want superficial and shallow interactions. So I tend to be ostracized by that. 2 - I have always been some level of fit, has never made any difference that I can see. 3 - People don't want to interact with me, probably because I am neurodivergent and it makes them uncomfortable, so I doubt I influence anyone. 4 - My passions are generally considered odd and weird, so I generally get more ostracization by sharing them. 5 - IF, someone does decide to come talk to me, it is generally short-lived. I don't seem to fit social norms, and I gave up trying to twist myself to fit those norms just have no real change in outcome.
Its ok, some people are not your people, i have found that leaning into these feelings you will find a reflective point, you want to have meaningfull reflections and since you steer towards outward reflections as a focus, you will find to reinforce and bypass your true feelings, if you gravitate towards more of you and what you like, you will meet those who reflect this back to you, its all a matter of trying hard to be noticed by the people you think are beneficial to your state of being, yet you must first start to engage in true self acceptance, and sadly in our modern society being sensitive and kind is often shunned, but the beauty is truly inside forgiving yourself for notknowing how to be you yet, but just as you want to be a part of these people they will reflect basicly in simple terms, that they are not your people, because you are you and they are they, stay safe and be kind to yourself! you are awesome!
@@Psych2go Look I know I am not the one you responded to but the reason why it makes me feel less attractive is that I am not for sociable in IRL at least so a lot of these comes out as negative especially when I don't go outside my house much.
@@shiningvictory7060 I mean one needs someone to attract in order to be attractive, whether friend or partner. Even online, gotta talk to people to attract people. I prefer solitude and doing my own thing, so I am consciously unattractive :P
@@shiningvictory7060all of these are kind of centered on the act of socialization. "If you're happy and connect to others then they are more likely to be perceived as attractive," can sum up the video nicely. The thing is, there is no finding a mate without looking for one. Another way to sum up this video would be, "make friends! Find your passions! Talk to people! Then you will be more attractive to more people." They can't find you attractive if they don't know you exist. Most can't find you attractive unless you are friends first (trust building is a significant part of it). You don't gotta be an extrovert, you can also do it online. All of this makes me think the adjective, "attractive," for the common person is overblown. All you gotta do is take care of yourself and make friends then you will be seen as a potential partner by someone. Even if that usually happens in secret, it's still happening.
Timestamps 1). You connect with others 0:24 2). You keep fit 1:03 3). You influence others 1:46 4). You are passionate 2:22 5). The halo effect 3:09 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This is a cool perspective. People often see the word "attractive" and assume it's only/mainly about how hot/pretty/handsome/sexy others are to you or you are to others. To attract is to draw something or someone in. Being attractive is a whole range of things that, when combined, can describe what draws people to you. Often we can focus so much on whether we meet the beauty standards to be attractive that we forget the other aspects. All are important and feed into the overall impact. It's cool seeing this take on it. It's why you can find someone conventionally attractive (physically) but not feel attracted to them because of other reasons.
Its ok, some people are not your people, i have found that leaning into these feelings you will find a reflective point, you want to have meaningfull reflections and since you steer towards outward reflections as a focus, you will find to reinforce and bypass your true feelings, if you gravitate towards more of you and what you like, you will meet those who reflect this back to you, its all a matter of trying hard to be noticed by the people you think are beneficial to your state of being, yet you must first start to engage in true self acceptance, and sadly in our modern society being sensitive and kind is often shunned, but the beauty is truly inside forgiving yourself for notknowing how to be you yet, but just as you want to be a part of these people they will reflect basicly in simple terms, that they are not your people, because you are you and they are they, stay safe and be kind to yourself! you are awesome!
What with all this comments going "booho me be no beautiful" realize that you can't control what others perceive of you but you can control your emotions and actions you can take a step towards a healthy life and work on yourself and that's for men and women, stop victimizing yourself just because others doesn't find you attractive, Love and respect yourself first, take care!
Something I very much appreciate about this channel is that it always seems like whenever I'm experiencing an issue in my life, I look at this channel and see a video about the same stuffm this has helped me quite a lot in my life over the last year
I always kind of figured I was emotionally attractive because I always became the center and glue of the friend circles and would also usually be called the father of the group because everyone always felt safe and comfortable around me. That also meant people opened up to me more and would always ask me for my opinion and advice. I also just have a natural "huggable" aura according to a lot of friends who would open up when we would have deep talks and that always made me feel happy. I also have been getting a lot more compliments lately not just because I started going to the gym but because im a lot more confident and have started to also clean myself up with how I dress and present myself. I also post regularly when im at the gym and apparently that has motivated a handful of my friends to start as well and they love to tell me that they thank me for posting pretty much daily because its their motivation to get fit and be healthy. Lastly I would like to say thank you for the video, it really did help me understand a lot of things, its going to strive me to continue to do the things im doing and to keep pushing to be a better person so that those around me can also slowly begin to feel more confident about themselves because its always better when you pick each other up.
I used to be like you, but then I closed myself to the world (I guess quarantine didn’t help) and now I’m very isolated But I believe those qualities are innate, once you absorb them, and I’m trying to go back to my old self. I think it’s important for people to know that we all have a light, and even if we seem to lose it, we can get it back
@@ruipac22 I believe in you, I also think that they’re still in there you just need to open yourself up again and I’m all for it. Good luck and I hope things get better for you! I know quarantine didn’t help me either but once you get with the right people and into the lifestyle you want things just begin to click and fit in so well like puzzle pieces 🧩
@@ruipac22 I wish you success. I was painfully shy as a child and young adult and have grown into someone who enjoys connecting with others and having deep conversation. I never would have expected it, even in high school.
Holy crap I’m in the complete negative of all of these. I push people away, let people walk all over me, and never share my passions. I actually do a lot to take care of my body, but I have a chronic illness working against me so I always look unfit and unhealthy. At least with the first three I have something I can work on, so it’s good to know! Going to keep working on myself until I get there!
Its ok, some people are not your people, i have found that leaning into these feelings you will find a reflective point, you want to have meaningfull reflections and since you steer towards outward reflections as a focus, you will find to reinforce and bypass your true feelings, if you gravitate towards more of you and what you like, you will meet those who reflect this back to you, its all a matter of trying hard to be noticed by the people you think are beneficial to your state of being, yet you must first start to engage in true self acceptance, and sadly in our modern society being sensitive and kind is often shunned, but the beauty is truly inside forgiving yourself for notknowing how to be you yet, but just as you want to be a part of these people they will reflect basicly in simple terms, that they are not your people, because you are you and they are they, stay safe and be kind to yourself! you are awesome!
I don't know if this helps but I have had a chronic illness for the last 14 years. However about a year ago I stopped drinking alcohol and eating sugar and processed food, after a while I became more mobile and then I started to walk every day. It's now a year later and I've lost 4 stone and feel much better.
@@JohnMcintosh-dm1gn Thank you, I really appreciate your comment. I’ve never drank and I cut out sugar about a decade ago, but I’ve first hand seen that make a dramatic change for people with chronic illness. The only reason I’m doing as well as I am has been because of dietary/ lifestyle change and alternative medicine. It really makes me happy to hear that it’s helped you, so thank you for sharing! I commented this 6 months ago, and in that time I worked on the other stuff from this video, just trying not to hide things and being authentic. I ended up finding a group of friends I really connect with and I’m happier than I’ve been in years! I’m doing really well, and I’m happy I got a chance to talk about it. I’m really happy you’re doing better as well. I hope we both only continue to improve!
Same here. I also have a chronic illness that makes exercising difficult and dangerous. Exercise is the #1 advice people always give, and I can't even do that.
Well yeah physically attractiveness is subjective most of the time! The internal also effects the external, people become more physically attractive when people get to know their positive attributes
I think the thing that makes me attractive is that I don’t put labels on people .. if I see someone new at work/school I will approach them and talk to them about anything.. ask if it’s their first day and go from their .. regardless of who you are I will give you a chance and try to get to know you as a person …
i love the oshi no ko references, especially since that's how the "main" character worked but she lied to everyone and herself so she started to believe it but people found attraction in that
This video is on point! Two things to notice. 1) People are generally more anxious than before, so you might not feel the closing up and talking so directly. 2) Excersize were always fun, I used to like training, though some people look better than me without training. I end up disliking it, when I tried so hard to improve myself. Never forget that excersize is fun. If you are so good in it, you will get into a team and become a professional on some level, but after 5-6 attendance nearly everyone could tell if you into this or not.
@@Psych2go Thank you for your comment. Your question was about finding a balance between the joy of training and the continuous challenge of performance. Here is my answer. Balance can only be achieved in the long run. We shouldn't be too strict with ourselves because there are good and bad days, sad moments, illnesses, and external factors beyond our control. I try to plan for a year and set daily, weekly, and monthly tasks within that. Of course, not with such precision, but I try! I've noticed that the constant desire to do can lead to burnout quickly, and despite our achievements, we can still feel sad. Let me give you an example. If I sleep six hours every day, by the third or fourth day, I'm already making mistakes, which sets me back and overall makes me feel worse than if I had slept two hours more each day instead of working. Because of this, for the next two days, I wander around unmotivated and tired, and somehow find myself again by Saturday. If I had slept eight hours each night, the time spent sleeping would have been lost, but my momentum would have lasted until the end of the week. It's like the race between the hare and the tortoise-walk slowly, live longer. There are weeks when, due to work or unexpected events, I sleep less and can't focus, but then I rest, and looking back at the week, the balance is maintained, even if I slept 6 hours one day and 10 hours another: it averages to 8 hours. The same goes for training: long-term goals and the short-term goals leading to them. Better slow than fast, and it must be accepted that there will be months when you miss out. But if you push yourself too hard to train in a month when it's not a true passion, competition, or calling for you, you are over-disciplining yourself, which lowers your own quality of life. There will be months when you'll do better. Overall, I can say that balance is found in self-awareness and setting a sufficiently long time frame.
I always wondered why everyone kept telling me exercise was fun. Then I got my feet xrayed. Turns out I have super flat flexible feet and that's why I'm always in consistent pain. There is no easy cure 😁 I have to relearn how to balance and walk and have to consistently correct my posture for the rest of my life if I want to be able to stand up or walk for more than 15 minutes at a time without pain.
I'm actually shocked that people consider attractive individuals "more trustworthy." Personally, attractive people are almost always the ones who betray me the hardest. They probably think that they can get away with it though because they're attractive. I don't trust conventionally attractive people at all. And usually their personality is incredibly stale 😂 Luckily though, I'm someone who finds personality to be the determining factor of how attractive someone is.
While I don’t want to discount your experience I would encourage you to try and suspend some of your initial apprehensions with conventionally attractive people, sometimes because of previous experience our brains will put people in boxes or mark them off just because of past experiences preventing something beautiful from blossoming. All to protect ourselves
@@djmohab2 I think the 6 foot thing is so stupid. Literally who gives a sh- about height?? My only requirements are a sense of humor and someone who's nice to animals and customer service workers (and me obviously). I've had people tell me they think that I date people that aren't attractive because that way I know they'll do whatever I want because they won't want to lose me. That's the most toxic and disgusting assumption I've literally ever heard.
@@djmohab2 It's okay, I don't blame you. There's so many women that have a whole list of requirements and expectations, which makes it nearly impossible for them to ever be happy in love. On top of the fact that they're the same type of women that will be offended if a man shows up with a list too and they don't meet that man's requirements. It's so egotistical, I don't understand why people can't just accept that no one's perfect and if they can't see that they themselves aren't perfect, they should not be expecting a "perfect" partner.
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you explored or considered seeking support to work through the impact of childhood trauma on your self-confidence and leadership?
I love watching someone talk passionately about something they really love. It’s admirable if one could specialize in something & become super knowledgeable on that subject. They could persuade others to learn about it as well.
Thanks for the hype up! I learned how talk to people from the books I learned then saw what worked and what didn't and eventually I found myself! For those who have no hope it takes some time to desolve what you were taught and not everyone is gonna like you but respect the effort or they themselves gave into hate a long time ago before you showed up so dont take it personal.
@@sussybaka8669 her voice keep changing because it's not 1 person working on the video, attractive people do get compliments and low self esteem might make you perceive the compliment as satire or a joke, Hope this helped.
Somebody once said something like: "if you are having doubts about if you are attractive or not, then most probably is that you are not. Or at least you are not perceived as attractive most of the time" and the answer is pretty simple, attractive people are well aware they are attractive (unless they are REALLY oblivious) because most of the time attractive people receive compliments and stares from people around them. So if you are not used to getting compliments, or looks from people around you, then you can be almost certain that the people around you doesn't consider you attractive. Notice how i said "people around you", because the preferences can vary very drastically depending on the place and the people you are with, so is not all lost, you might be found way more attractive in another place or by other people.
Yes, it is. I watch many of these attractiveness videos and the only thing that is consistent between all of them is self confidence. Since depression makes you lose your self worth and your love in your interests, it is very clear that depression makes someone very unatractive.
I guess one would say that I am a relatively attractive guy. Since that I do most of the things on the list here at the slightest. Of course the real attraction comes from the person within. Especially when it comes to having confidence in their own skin and being a great person!
I love how this video wasnt just about looks but about personality traits a person have within themselves and its thanks too the man upsfpr blessing me too be attractive not just physically but also spirituality ❤❤❤
*For me:* "You connect with others" • Yes, I think I connect with other people easily! 😃 "You stay fit" • I recently started going to the gym so yeah. 😃 "You influence others" • Hmmm not really, I don't think my opinion is very considered in daily conversations. ☹️ "You are passionate" • I don't know, I'm a brainiac who keeps talking about nerdy things like geopolitics, mathematics, learning languages, social datas and new technology all the time with other people. I'm honestly passionate about them but I don't know if people want to hear them. 😶
The most attractive thing is when someone looks outwardly, at others to help them through the tough times. People will see this and gravitate toward this in turn.
At my last job, I was all of these things and respected. not just because of my position. However, I've never thought of that respect as attractive. Even off times, mostly breaks, a lot of the girls and even guys asked me about my workout. So, I would say borderline on that subject. As for if others attract towards me yes and no more toxic people tend to draw to me only some positive people do. The ratio would roughly be 4/1 respectively. I think it's just the city I live in, Vegas has scummy people.
I tried this with the hottest girl in the bar. I said "hi, I influence and connect with others and walk five miles a day". She said "but your old and fat and ugly and bald". I said "I"m also poor".
I've been asked throughout my life, "you really don't know how pretty you are, do you?" Ask I could say was my grandma once told me "pretty is as pretty does". So, I never cared if anybody thought I was physically attractive. I did however, cared very very much of people thought I was attractive inside. I've always tried to be kind, loving, tolerant, fair, open minded and accepting of all the differences each of us have inside of us.
Glad we could help! It's great that the video provided some clarity for you! What other specific insights from the video resonated with your own experiences?
Going into the video, I wasn't expecting myself to be one of these individuals, and well, my expectations were met. At least now I can try to work on these things. What stuck with me the most from this video is being enthusiastic, because I used to be like that when I was younger but I don't think that's uncommon for kids anyway. Well, thanks for making this video it was very nice to watch!
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, and I appreciate your honesty. I'm curious to understand more about what aspects of the videos are causing distress for you. Our aim is to bring awareness and positivity, so if there's a way we can better achieve that, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Wellp, I love it when I’m right xD literally everything here was not the case and since I’m always telling people in my surroundings that I don’t look good and they deny because well, my self esteem is already low as hell so yeah, very nice video, gave me the confirmation I needed, to know I’m not attractive. I’m not muscular at all, I don’t have any self esteem, I don’t show any sort of self love whatsoever, I don’t attract people around me like a magnet and just to shoot the nail in the coffin, in my 20 years of life there was exactly one individual who fell in love with me, problem with that is that I to that time was so damn dense that I didn’t even give it any sort of try or anything despite literally knowing she had the doki dokis for me, conclusion of this, in the span of 20 years there was one singular individual who fell in love with me, the whole rest of the time no one ever had anything for me and I’m always in the friendzone before even knowing each other properly. I will definitely die alone xD
Listen man. Life’s hard as fuck. It’s unforgiving as all hell, and will make you feel like shit quite a bit. But, you will only die alone if you don’t do anything to change that. As hard as it is, believe me I’ve been there, you gotta put in the effort if you want to change all these things in your life. You need to go out there and make the change you want to see in your life. If you’re searching for love, or friends, they’re not gonna come knocking on your door. You gotta go find it. Your self-esteem will always stay low, as long as you wallow in it. You need to kick those intrusive thoughts in the face, and break through these chains that you believe bind you. And if you can’t do it alone, maybe consider consulting a therapist. That’s what therapists are for. Hopefully anything I said can help you. I truly wish the best for you man! I hope you can make the decisions you need to better your life! You got this man! Stay strong and keep your head high! 💪
@@curseofsasuke honestly, I have no idea what exactly was different back then, I was less confident, looked even worse than I do now… super nice that you try to help me, I really appreciate it and although I’m really thinking about it, there is literally nothing from back then that was better about me than now, it was more the opposite I think
I thought that exact same thing at 20 & then at 21 I found someone who wanted to marry me so hang in there life can surprise you. You don't know who you're going to meet so stay open & willing to talk to folks & you just might find the right person when you least expect it.
@@kieleleron85768 nice to hear, even tho I’m not really searching anymore since I kinda gave up xD I klicke Don the video because I thought it might be interesting but I guess I can now say that scientifically and objectively I’m not attractive which is a statement that not everyone can say and back up xD Ok real talk now, thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it, unfortunately I’m absolutely introverted so talking to new people kinda scares me but I will try my best to heed your advice
Thank you! I was so bullied in middle school that in the first year of highschool i lost all my confidence. I'll be starting college in 2024 and i got a little confidence boost from this video cuz i got all the things (guess my bullies were just jealous of me)
Good luck on starting fresh in college. It's usually much better than high school since there's typically more mature people around who don't care as much about silly, petty things that high schoolers bully others for. It's a great place to start anew and connect with others without the baggage of people knowing you from before.
I used to attract people without trying, people always coming up to me trying to be "friends" while not even knowing how to be one really. it started to get really annoying especially when alot of the people that wanted to be around me were either toxic or very VERY dumb to the point where it was just migraine inducing so i made it my goal to do everything possible without coming off like an ass (in most cases at least) to keep people away from me, now it's like second nature to me and i don't even have to try and keep em away, its been so serene these past couple years
@@Thirsty4Thirstfirst of all rude, second of all they were asking how they didn't attract so many people to them. I don't get why people these days are so mean
@@Thirsty4Thirst First of all I was asking the person who initially made the comment not you. Secondly what you said didn’t even answer my question you legit troll 🧌 because that’s not what I was asking. Lastly, hopefully you can use your own answer/ “advice” and muster up the confidence to show up on social media as yourself and not hide behind a picture of a cartoon character. 😳🥴😅😂😂 Like the audacity lol that’s very embarrassing for you smh 🤭😂😂
@@sam_does_stuff first of all, don’t put a picture of what you look like on the internet if you’re not willing to be judged. Also, it’s true that physically attractive people tend to be more attractive to other people even if they’re passionate about something or whatever. People have always been mean, the internet just gives us a medium to express it better. Also, did you make your profile picture? Cause that shit looks hideous
0:50 I have all of these but never knew why I was never connecting with people. I just got diagnosed with ASD at 21 and it explains why I've never made those connections. Now I'm scared they'll never happen. I'm good at chasing people away :(
So while I embody all of these 100%(even when I dont want to), there are two key differences that Ive noticed. 1. My social success comes from ME approaching THEM. A lot of friends have told me that when they initially saw me, they assumed my personality was negative or that i was self centered. I also got the word "Intmidating" a lot. But when i approach them, obviously im all smiles and jokes and they then feel comfortable. 2. This is a little personal, but I cant seem to keep a lot of people around. Specifically in romantic feilds. I can always attract, make them laugh and (Im told) Im a natrual flirt, but as soon as i show my deeper side, it scares them off.
I started automatically reading this comment like the rest of them, and the longer it went on, the more I thought to myself, did I write this whole falling asleep or something?? I kno how you feel.
I also noticed that I can heavily influence how often I see my friends. If I hit them up, they are almost always down to meet. If I don't, I can also not see them for weeks or months (without it impacting our relations). So I like to take initiative and plan activities with them whenever I haven't seem them in a while.
Hey, 90th comment! I guess one thing I know that I have in the bag is intelligence. I don't mean to sound like im saying that im the smartest person i know or anything, just that I like to learn and I do it often, about almost anything. Science, in all it's forms, has always been my favorite subject, ever since I was a little kid. I wish I could keep that passion more often when it comes to my classes in college though lol.
Physically, I think I'm objectively ugly, personality wise, I'm not the most attractive person ever. However, this video upped my confidence a bit. For some reason, people and animals seem to like me, I don't even do anything, they just seem to flock to me, and I've noticed that a lot of them even try imitating me. I used to find this annoying because I like being alone most of the time, but now I see their intentions from a different perspective, and it makes me like people more.
When things start mirroring you, that's a very good sign they like you. This may mean that they want a romantic relationship with you or they want you guys to be friends. in any case, they want more of you. If you want them back, great, kudos to you for being an interesting human!
@@leandrooliveira3070 Thanks :) I hope that most of them don't want a romantic relationship with me because they're family members, but I wouldn't be opposed to being friends. What's your dynamic with people like?
@@nooneneedstoknowmyname lol I believe they just want to be friends in your case haha. I hope 😶🌫️ And could you please explain better what you mean by dynamic with other people? I don't understand your question. Do you mean how people react to me and I to them?
After the video, I finally understood people, like my wife, around me. She is very direct and honest. I have many good and healthy relationships with people around me, I'm very active and fit, I always try to help people out and support them to change their lifestyle and because I'm a very passionate man (Though, that's because I grew up in a very healthy household and lost it too early, which kind of traumatized me for life, making me desperate for approval and love). My wife oftentimes told me how I'm making her insecure due to being a very good man and influencal around other people. I always told her that she has nothing to worry, because there is nothing, weather material or a person I know, that would ever defeat the love I have for her. Never understood why that is, until I watched this video 😅 Now I'm a bit flustered.
I have had experiences where strangers would sit beside me on the bus and begin to tell me about their life without me asking. I think it’s because they think I’m a Christian (I actually am). Many strangers have asked me before and in my country Christians tend to be nice people so they probably saw in me.
Only the first one fits me, usually I don't really make friends, friends make me (phrasing 🤔) and I easily talk to pretty much anyone. So I'm a fifth attractive, let's goo
Should I be relieved or concerned if I no longer care if others find me attractive? From age 18 to about 35, I was given compliments about my looks almost on a daily basis. It’s flattering to an extent, but it makes you feel like it’s your only commerce. Now that I’m losing hair and gaining weight, I feel a sense of ease. And I’m uncomfortable receiving compliments about weight loss. “You’re looking great” translates to “You were unacceptable before” in my brain. The topic of attractiveness, I feel, heads towards the dangerous waters of comparison. I encourage everyone to be yourself and the best citizen you can be. Kindness outweighs “confidence “ “passion” and “fitness” always always always.
First of all, I saw Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame multiple times, and while I may share a similar personality as Quasimodo, I don’t think I’m as ugly as he is. Secondly, the most creative thing that I’m doing with my lifestyle is creating a webcomic, which almost everyone is curious to know more about.
One of my besties is just like this !! She's so genuinely interested in others. Sometimes it gets annoying because they try to act like they're her friend and I'm the thirdwheel. When she sees me being pushed away, she nicely cuts the conversation with them and comes back to my side ❤
I've only watched Season 1 of Chainsaw Man, but I found it stunningly insightful that they used Makima to illustrate an example of an attractive person being more credible/persuasive/trustworthy. Denji has feelings for Makima, something that she is aware of and exploits to her full advantage. Denji was extremely loyal to her by design. If nothing else, it illustrates to us that, we should check our evaluations of a person, especially when we are attracted to said person.
I don't think I'm that attractive. A solid 6, maybe a 7 on a good day. But I know how to carry myself, dress well, and stay groomed. I have long, thick curly hair, which gets me lots of positive attention, and occasionally confusion. Having a naturally androgynous appearance is surprisingly appealing to a lot of people; I like to joke that I'm a Rorschach Test when it comes to perceived gender. Staying in shape definitely helps, too. I'm the last person in my family that doesn't have diabetes, and I intend to keep it that way. I live on a hill, and walk laps up and down it every day for an hour. I used to worry that my neighbors would think I was crazy or some kind of prowler, but now I get waves and greetings all the time. Whenever I travel, I spend most of it either hiking or taking photos. I'm the one that _always_ gets asked to take someone's photo whenever we're at a famous location. Or if I'm on a cruise at sea or waiting for jury summons, you'll always find me quietly working on a jigsaw puzzle with any confident enough to join me. These go well with the passion aspect; people can see that I'm attentive to my surroundings and know what I'm doing. I have a lots of interests: reading, writing, travel, hiking, photography, physical/Earth sciences, video games, movies, anime, jigsaw puzzles... The list goes on and on. People especially take notice when you put energy into whatever subject you're discussing. That part about influencing others is absolutely correct. This is probably going to sound old-fashioned, but it really is a matter of putting your best foot forward. Not only do people remember their first impression of you the most, but they perceive you by the way you make them _feel._ It's amazing how far you can get with eye contact, listening instead of talking, asking questions, being earnest, and having an easygoing attitude. I'm on a first name basis with several of the staff at my local grocery store and the wheelchair volunteers at the hospital, simply because I always take the time to ask how their lives are going. They love hearing about my latest adventures (32 countries/6 continents as of now!) and seeing photos. One of them even recently stopped their car in the middle of the road so they could say hi as I did my cardio. There's a store in the city that I only visit once a year, and the owner still recognizes me. Whenever I'm in a group - be it in an academic, work, or travel setting - I inevitably end in some kind of leadership, planning, or navigational role. Apparently, I come off as capable and trustworthy. I once even talked my way into a high profile tech event in San Francisco; I just wandered in off the street and asked what it was about. The woman at the desk printed me out a full pass - worth over $1,000 - and told me to go see for myself. One of the booths in there had authentic Hawaiian leis as decorations. I asked if I could take one, and was shocked when they said yes. I wore those flowers for the entire subway ride home. Good times. There is one _massive_ flaw, though: I struggle with actually making meaningful connections. It's totally for lack of trying, too; I gave up a long time ago. I had an extremely rough childhood: born, raised in, escaped from a cult, dealt with neglectful and violent parents, took care of myself at a young age, faced years of racism and homophobia, grew up mostly in social isolation, and put myself through college without student loans or help from my family. As a result, it's like I missed some of the basics of How To Human. When you take a step back and observe things as an outsider, you realize just how nonsensical - if not outright insane - a lot of people are. So I spent my early life running in survival mode, never connecting with anyone. People are shocked when they find out I don't have a wife/SO, or even any friends. Every relationship I've had has ended with me being used and/or abandoned. This has wrecked my mental well-being; I'm officially diagnosed with depression and "personality disorder not otherwise specified" because whatever is wrong with me is too complex to be narrowed down. So whenever I interact with others, I still put my best foot forward. I feel like I have to be positive and easygoing, otherwise people will think I'm arrogant and self-absorbed. That can negatively impact how well I'm treated. It's ironic; people love talking to me, but I'm happiest when I'm alone on a trail. If I could get away with it, I'd live without talking to others. But I know that's impossible. I don't know how I'm supposed to get past this. TLDR: I agree with all the points brought forth in this video. In terms of physical attraction, I think I'm slightly above average at best. But I know how to carry myself, dress well, and stay groomed. I keep myself in reasonably good shape as well. But the real difference comes with passion; I have a lot of interests and stay engaged with my surroundings, and people notice. Influencing others is also important; I present myself well, because I know that first impressions and how you make someone _feel_ are absolutely vital to their lasting perceptions. It's amazing how far you can get with eye contact, listening instead of talking, asking questions, being earnest, and having an easygoing attitude. People are naturally drawn to me, and I'm regarded as a natural leader, planner, etc. However, I struggle to make actual, meaningful connections. Despite everything, I have no relationships. My early life was filled with violence, neglect, and isolation, and I missed out on some of the basics of How To Human. I lost faith in people and relationships a long time ago, but keep up appearances despite it not feeling natural to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to live with this.
I relate to many things you said. It's a beautiful thing to be comfortable in your own company without friends. Maybe this isn't necessarily what you would like to hear but I would say that my faith in God and that I'm never actually doing things alone brings me a lot of peace. It's actually the one close friendship I do have, though I know and connect with so many people. Jesus is the God of the outcasts and people with messy pasts. No matter how put together, friendly, and passionate that outcast may be. I've come to realize God could have made people like us to be able to reach out to the lonely and unseen in our communities. Isn't that a beautiful thing? If I had time commitments of friendships to keep up I wouldn't have the time to love on others as much. When you read about Him for yourself you see how awesome He was. Then when you see Him working in your life to make you a more peaceful, loving, and happier person it's really crazy.
@@OneWayTheWayYahweh I see. I'm glad that your faith in God has given you peace. Unfortunately, being born and raised in a cult ruined religion for me. The organized aspect of it, anyway. The idea that a mere human could accurately understand and enact the will of an omnipotent being is highly presumptuous to me. And I've experienced firsthand what evils people do unto others in the name of God. Imagine being a child and realizing that you're in a cult, and _everyone around you is crazy._ My grandfather was a preacher in that cult, and one whole side of my family were in on it. After I escaped, I was considered persona non grata by that community; they won't even look at me in public anymore. My extended family thinks I'm some kind of rebellious bad influence, even though I'm just science oriented, ask too many questions, and not straight. My own mother said she wished she never had me. It was said in the heat of the moment, and she's since regretted it and tried to restore our relationship. If I were younger, I would've dismissed the existence of a god entirely. However, I've had enough unusual experiences to know that there are aspects to reality that can't be explained with current science. So, I've settled for being agnostic. The important thing is that everyone needs something to believe in. It's great that you found yours. Take care out there.
I can say with confidence (pun intended) that feeling good about yourself first will make a huge difference with dating. I decided to have a gastric sleeve procedure and have lost over a hundred pounds. I was also an alcoholic but kicked the bottle for good around 4 months ago. Since then my confidence has sky rocketed, and I’m so much more comfortable talking with girls and putting myself out there. Learn to love yourself, and you’ll be able to love others a lot easier.
20 years of singing, 15 years of guitar, 13 of bass, 10 of rap... but only 1 week of drums. It's that week of drums that makes the difference : I'm learning, I'm not the pro anymore, well I still am on the other things so the approach is different than just struggling. The methodology is there and the confidence as well, I'm not like "oh I suck I'll never be good" but rather "it's the same thing, gotta commit to the bit and be patient and I'll be good", the serenity and completeness are the key. Day after day I'm more at ease with people in general.
1. People are mean to you 2. You never get complimented on your looks by strangers 3. Old people and people who care about you say you're so beautiful you'll be snatched right up 4. Guys never approach you 5. Babies and little kids like you 😊 6. Women constantly ruin your life and work politics are impossible. You're constantly stressed out.
How long have you been following our channel? We would like to know. On another note, watch this video next to help you learn more: 6 Signs of Unspoken Attraction ruclips.net/video/RUyeCxSvgBE/видео.html
Couple years
2 or 3 years now
Probably more than a year
2 years
At least a couple months now and I'm glad I did
Thank you, now I know that I'm unattractive. Always knew, but now it's backed up by science!!!
Same, but at the same time i like to not be attractive because it keeps away toxic and annoying people.
You are looking at the video through the bias of you being down on yourself (which I'm quite good at myself) and thinking you're unattractive. I know it's like impossible to look at yourself objectively, I would base any elements of self image on a youtube video, with all due respect to psych2go, which is a great channel, but they have to speak in generalities.
You and me both. 0/5 - Perfect score!
Awww I feel bad for you :(
Ikr???🥳🤸
(😢)
1. You connect with others
2. You stay fit
3. You influence others
4. You are passionate
5. The halo effect
crazy
man thats crazy
@@ok-ky1nswhy is it crazy
None of those signs for me except staying fit.
thats okay@@PerceptionVsReality333
I never clicked on a video so fast
Same lol
Likewise
I was hoping for good news too
Same
Me too haha
When Psych2Go puts non-physical traits to make you feel better about yourself, but you don’t have those either
One of my favorite memories was playing with my 3 year old nephew. The sillier I acted, the harder he laughed. We were both laughing really hard when he exclaimed, "Uncle Tim, you're so...BEAUTIFUL!!!"
It was an unusual choice of words, but I think that in that moment of carefree happiness, that's how he saw me. Beautiful. I'm not ugly, but I've never been called that before.
It's a memory I will carry for the rest of my life. Man I love that kid.
That's really beautiful!!
That's such a beautiful memory :')
And I am sure this memory will stay forever with you
at first I didn't know if the kid was being sarcastic but the fact that most kids are honest and upfront make me think that you really are beautiful 😊
Drake is this you??
Remember guys: there's a lot more to being attractive than having certain physical features. Being healthy, being nice, being hygienic and dressing well
Edit: apparently my statement was too complicated for SOME people to understand 🙄🤦🏾♀️
Dressing well is more so a physical factor.
@@asrield2032 In a sense yes. However depending on the situation dressing well contributes to others view of you as a person more then you looks. Most obvious example is how you dress for a job interview. You can have nice clothes that still doesn't match the dress code of said work place and you might have less chance of getting employed.
If you put thought into what you wear then others will notice that you don't just dress well, you dress with purpose. And this goes for both having nice clothes for parties and job interviews, but also clothes that last in rain and snow outside. Having the right clothes for the right moments in life is a very underated thing imo (i know because i'm a lazy dresser by heart lol). But this does NOT mean you have to wear the most expensive clothes. If you find a nice, put together fit at a second hand or buy something cheaper online it will work just as fine as new clothes from a fancy store. Most of the time it's actually how it fits that influence your look the most, especially when it comes to tuxedos, business dresses and suits.
Well as long as the color scheme isn't the Joker, but that could be fun at a halloween party!
@@ouwle6618I am not reading that💀
@@X_Entity_X Did some spacing to make it easier to read, but it's up to you if it's interesting. It takes less time to read my comment then watching the entire video, so if you don't have the energy or interest in the subject what are you doing here? Not that the comment in question was directed specifically towards you...
@@ouwle6618 yeah no I just saw that and thought it’d be funny(dream reference)
While I always hope that I am physically attractive, I think it’s the sweetest thing whenever someone says that I’m really easy to talk to/they feel like I really get them. It’s nice to know this is a good thing and not I exude “therapist” vibes 💀
That's a wonderful compliment! What do you think makes you approachable and easy to talk to?
@Cleetus_Nevalackin You've raised a very important point here but in the same vein, impressing societal expectations upon ourselves isn't going to do us any good either. I understand where you're coming from in saying this as I've suffered from very bad cases of acne and it still haunts me today as I enter adulthood.. but if there's something that can tank your societal charisma: enthusiasm, being genuine and well spoken will be your best bet fam 💙💙
You’ll forever be in the “friend” category.😂😂😂
@@wavelength3278 you’d think that, but I’ve amassed so many partners/failed relationships cause ig the people around me confuse genuine interest in interpersonal relationships as flirting? We traumatized out here, it happened a lot in high school where a friend who I thought was JUST A FRIEND was like “I like you” and cause I needed therapy (I’m in therapy) I just said “okay” and that was the start of basically all my romantic endeavors
@@belle-mariephan918oof that would be a nightmare for me, if my friends say that to me it would kinda hurt me a lil bit cause they are only my friend cause they want to date me and not a platonic relationship, and I wouldn’t know what to say in that situation too 😭
Trait 1 = Failed.
Trait 2= I do exercise but 😢
Trait 3= Not really (sad).
Trait 4= I barely have any hobbies but when I do express I feel like I'm bragging.
Trait 5= Well people ignore me even when I'm talking to them.
Can my self esteem be any lower 💀
💀
Bruh you described me entirely, at least i exercise more lately
“I’m ugly, I’m tellin’ ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.” 😂
-Rodney Dangerfield
🗿
I feel you, bro. Well, I'd say to spend more time around people who do listen to and take genuine interest in you, because people who don't listen just tend to bog things down anyway. That means they're unattractive! And I'm sure you can see why. And otherwise, you're not bragging as long as you're not putting anyone down. You're allowed to talk about your interests! It might feel awkward, but it gets easier over time, and around the right kind of person, it feels natural and not so awkward anymore. I hope this helps ❤
I guess I’m not attractive
doesn’t mean you’ll never be tho
You’re cute bro.
@@Unknown21312 Ty
Me too
Great confirmation that I am unattractive. Some of the things that are described here as being attractive qualities have only ever really made me feel ostracized by others. 1 - I try to connect to people on a genuine level, but most only want superficial and shallow interactions. So I tend to be ostracized by that. 2 - I have always been some level of fit, has never made any difference that I can see. 3 - People don't want to interact with me, probably because I am neurodivergent and it makes them uncomfortable, so I doubt I influence anyone. 4 - My passions are generally considered odd and weird, so I generally get more ostracization by sharing them. 5 - IF, someone does decide to come talk to me, it is generally short-lived. I don't seem to fit social norms, and I gave up trying to twist myself to fit those norms just have no real change in outcome.
Now that I know I’m extremely unattractive, the video really opened my eyes.
I'm curious to understand more about how the video opened your eyes to feeling unattractive.
Its ok, some people are not your people, i have found that leaning into these feelings you will find a reflective point, you want to have meaningfull reflections and since you steer towards outward reflections as a focus, you will find to reinforce and bypass your true feelings, if you gravitate towards more of you and what you like, you will meet those who reflect this back to you, its all a matter of trying hard to be noticed by the people you think are beneficial to your state of being, yet you must first start to engage in true self acceptance, and sadly in our modern society being sensitive and kind is often shunned, but the beauty is truly inside forgiving yourself for notknowing how to be you yet, but just as you want to be a part of these people they will reflect basicly in simple terms, that they are not your people, because you are you and they are they, stay safe and be kind to yourself! you are awesome!
@@Psych2go Look I know I am not the one you responded to but the reason why it makes me feel less attractive is that I am not for sociable in IRL at least so a lot of these comes out as negative especially when I don't go outside my house much.
@@shiningvictory7060 I mean one needs someone to attract in order to be attractive, whether friend or partner. Even online, gotta talk to people to attract people. I prefer solitude and doing my own thing, so I am consciously unattractive :P
@@shiningvictory7060all of these are kind of centered on the act of socialization. "If you're happy and connect to others then they are more likely to be perceived as attractive," can sum up the video nicely.
The thing is, there is no finding a mate without looking for one.
Another way to sum up this video would be, "make friends! Find your passions! Talk to people! Then you will be more attractive to more people." They can't find you attractive if they don't know you exist. Most can't find you attractive unless you are friends first (trust building is a significant part of it).
You don't gotta be an extrovert, you can also do it online.
All of this makes me think the adjective, "attractive," for the common person is overblown. All you gotta do is take care of yourself and make friends then you will be seen as a potential partner by someone. Even if that usually happens in secret, it's still happening.
Timestamps
1). You connect with others 0:24
2). You keep fit 1:03
3). You influence others 1:46
4). You are passionate 2:22
5). The halo effect 3:09
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I farted
@@enlightenedappledrink it🍺
Ty
@@penance8717what the actual fuck
What are these comments
Introverts rn:
#2 is all we can attain.
Literally bro, I swear this video is more like
"Are you extraverted?"
It's called a personality...
not true im an introvert yet these all check my boxes
@@SiNestEr691 youre not an introvert
This is a cool perspective. People often see the word "attractive" and assume it's only/mainly about how hot/pretty/handsome/sexy others are to you or you are to others. To attract is to draw something or someone in. Being attractive is a whole range of things that, when combined, can describe what draws people to you. Often we can focus so much on whether we meet the beauty standards to be attractive that we forget the other aspects. All are important and feed into the overall impact. It's cool seeing this take on it. It's why you can find someone conventionally attractive (physically) but not feel attracted to them because of other reasons.
This video has explained to me why I feel invisible out in public, thanks!
Its ok, some people are not your people, i have found that leaning into these feelings you will find a reflective point, you want to have meaningfull reflections and since you steer towards outward reflections as a focus, you will find to reinforce and bypass your true feelings, if you gravitate towards more of you and what you like, you will meet those who reflect this back to you, its all a matter of trying hard to be noticed by the people you think are beneficial to your state of being, yet you must first start to engage in true self acceptance, and sadly in our modern society being sensitive and kind is often shunned, but the beauty is truly inside forgiving yourself for notknowing how to be you yet, but just as you want to be a part of these people they will reflect basicly in simple terms, that they are not your people, because you are you and they are they, stay safe and be kind to yourself! you are awesome!
What with all this comments going "booho me be no beautiful" realize that you can't control what others perceive of you but you can control your emotions and actions you can take a step towards a healthy life and work on yourself and that's for men and women, stop victimizing yourself just because others doesn't find you attractive,
Love and respect yourself first, take care!
@@Dogeminfr bro😂
@@Dogemininstead of doing something about it, all they do is whine.
Well I guess I'm just ugly
Being unattractive doesn't mean you're ugly, you're very pretty/handsome
good thing you can change if thats what you want
@@anushkasingh8872Ugly and unattractive are synonymous, literally one of the synonyms in Oxford languages…..
@@anushkasingh8872 being sick doesn’t mean you are ill😂😂😂
Mood
0:27 you connect with others
1:04 you keep fit
1:57 you influence others
2:44 you are passionate
3:12 the halo effect
im clinically ugly damn
You gotta have next level brainrot if you require time stamps for a 4 minute video
Something I very much appreciate about this channel is that it always seems like whenever I'm experiencing an issue in my life, I look at this channel and see a video about the same stuffm this has helped me quite a lot in my life over the last year
0:20 hey don't trash on our boy Cuasimodo like that, he's an extremely pure gigachad with a personality and charm many would like to have
I always kind of figured I was emotionally attractive because I always became the center and glue of the friend circles and would also usually be called the father of the group because everyone always felt safe and comfortable around me. That also meant people opened up to me more and would always ask me for my opinion and advice. I also just have a natural "huggable" aura according to a lot of friends who would open up when we would have deep talks and that always made me feel happy. I also have been getting a lot more compliments lately not just because I started going to the gym but because im a lot more confident and have started to also clean myself up with how I dress and present myself. I also post regularly when im at the gym and apparently that has motivated a handful of my friends to start as well and they love to tell me that they thank me for posting pretty much daily because its their motivation to get fit and be healthy. Lastly I would like to say thank you for the video, it really did help me understand a lot of things, its going to strive me to continue to do the things im doing and to keep pushing to be a better person so that those around me can also slowly begin to feel more confident about themselves because its always better when you pick each other up.
I'm happy for you😊😊
I used to be like you, but then I closed myself to the world (I guess quarantine didn’t help) and now I’m very isolated
But I believe those qualities are innate, once you absorb them, and I’m trying to go back to my old self.
I think it’s important for people to know that we all have a light, and even if we seem to lose it, we can get it back
@@ruipac22 I believe in you, I also think that they’re still in there you just need to open yourself up again and I’m all for it. Good luck and I hope things get better for you! I know quarantine didn’t help me either but once you get with the right people and into the lifestyle you want things just begin to click and fit in so well like puzzle pieces 🧩
@@ruipac22 I wish you success. I was painfully shy as a child and young adult and have grown into someone who enjoys connecting with others and having deep conversation. I never would have expected it, even in high school.
That was so wholesome to read. ☺️ I am glad you are doing well. It encourages me to do my best as well.
i love the oshi no ko details throughout the video
Holy crap I’m in the complete negative of all of these. I push people away, let people walk all over me, and never share my passions. I actually do a lot to take care of my body, but I have a chronic illness working against me so I always look unfit and unhealthy. At least with the first three I have something I can work on, so it’s good to know! Going to keep working on myself until I get there!
Its ok, some people are not your people, i have found that leaning into these feelings you will find a reflective point, you want to have meaningfull reflections and since you steer towards outward reflections as a focus, you will find to reinforce and bypass your true feelings, if you gravitate towards more of you and what you like, you will meet those who reflect this back to you, its all a matter of trying hard to be noticed by the people you think are beneficial to your state of being, yet you must first start to engage in true self acceptance, and sadly in our modern society being sensitive and kind is often shunned, but the beauty is truly inside forgiving yourself for notknowing how to be you yet, but just as you want to be a part of these people they will reflect basicly in simple terms, that they are not your people, because you are you and they are they, stay safe and be kind to yourself! you are awesome!
I don't know if this helps but I have had a chronic illness for the last 14 years.
However about a year ago I stopped drinking alcohol and eating sugar and processed food, after a while I became more mobile and then I started to walk every day.
It's now a year later and I've lost 4 stone and feel much better.
@@JohnMcintosh-dm1gn Thank you, I really appreciate your comment. I’ve never drank and I cut out sugar about a decade ago, but I’ve first hand seen that make a dramatic change for people with chronic illness. The only reason I’m doing as well as I am has been because of dietary/ lifestyle change and alternative medicine. It really makes me happy to hear that it’s helped you, so thank you for sharing! I commented this 6 months ago, and in that time I worked on the other stuff from this video, just trying not to hide things and being authentic. I ended up finding a group of friends I really connect with and I’m happier than I’ve been in years! I’m doing really well, and I’m happy I got a chance to talk about it. I’m really happy you’re doing better as well. I hope we both only continue to improve!
Same here. I also have a chronic illness that makes exercising difficult and dangerous. Exercise is the #1 advice people always give, and I can't even do that.
@@theRPGmaster Have you tried altering your diet?
When I stopped eating sugar and drinking alcohol my arthritis got a great deal better.
This seems more geared towards good mental health, confidence, and comfortability with yourself than physical attractiveness
Well yeah physically attractiveness is subjective most of the time! The internal also effects the external, people become more physically attractive when people get to know their positive attributes
Great work on the subtitles alot better and very personal and nicely paced, keep it up
You got me to watch this video even more after seeing those Oshi no Ko references. It was worth the watch. Thank you so much!
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
I think the thing that makes me attractive is that I don’t put labels on people .. if I see someone new at work/school I will approach them and talk to them about anything.. ask if it’s their first day and go from their .. regardless of who you are I will give you a chance and try to get to know you as a person …
That's a wonderful quality to have! I mean who doesn't like an open-minded, approachable, and inclusive person, that's very attractive and lovely.🥰❤
i love the oshi no ko references, especially since that's how the "main" character worked but she lied to everyone and herself so she started to believe it but people found attraction in that
I love this narrators voice and background music. It’s so soothing and embracing :)
Having self esteem is another attractive trait! I’ve been working on trying to get mine up so I can be more confident :)
This video is on point!
Two things to notice.
1) People are generally more anxious than before, so you might not feel the closing up and talking so directly.
2) Excersize were always fun, I used to like training, though some people look better than me without training. I end up disliking it, when I tried so hard to improve myself. Never forget that excersize is fun. If you are so good in it, you will get into a team and become a professional on some level, but after 5-6 attendance nearly everyone could tell if you into this or not.
Great insights! How do you personally find the balance between enjoying exercise and the pressure to constantly improve?
@@Psych2go Thank you for your comment. Your question was about finding a balance between the joy of training and the continuous challenge of performance. Here is my answer. Balance can only be achieved in the long run. We shouldn't be too strict with ourselves because there are good and bad days, sad moments, illnesses, and external factors beyond our control. I try to plan for a year and set daily, weekly, and monthly tasks within that. Of course, not with such precision, but I try! I've noticed that the constant desire to do can lead to burnout quickly, and despite our achievements, we can still feel sad. Let me give you an example. If I sleep six hours every day, by the third or fourth day, I'm already making mistakes, which sets me back and overall makes me feel worse than if I had slept two hours more each day instead of working. Because of this, for the next two days, I wander around unmotivated and tired, and somehow find myself again by Saturday. If I had slept eight hours each night, the time spent sleeping would have been lost, but my momentum would have lasted until the end of the week. It's like the race between the hare and the tortoise-walk slowly, live longer. There are weeks when, due to work or unexpected events, I sleep less and can't focus, but then I rest, and looking back at the week, the balance is maintained, even if I slept 6 hours one day and 10 hours another: it averages to 8 hours. The same goes for training: long-term goals and the short-term goals leading to them. Better slow than fast, and it must be accepted that there will be months when you miss out. But if you push yourself too hard to train in a month when it's not a true passion, competition, or calling for you, you are over-disciplining yourself, which lowers your own quality of life. There will be months when you'll do better. Overall, I can say that balance is found in self-awareness and setting a sufficiently long time frame.
I always wondered why everyone kept telling me exercise was fun. Then I got my feet xrayed. Turns out I have super flat flexible feet and that's why I'm always in consistent pain. There is no easy cure 😁 I have to relearn how to balance and walk and have to consistently correct my posture for the rest of my life if I want to be able to stand up or walk for more than 15 minutes at a time without pain.
@@drstevenanthony3077 Glad, they have sorted out and you are headed to the right direction!
Comparison is a thief of joy.
I'm actually shocked that people consider attractive individuals "more trustworthy." Personally, attractive people are almost always the ones who betray me the hardest. They probably think that they can get away with it though because they're attractive. I don't trust conventionally attractive people at all. And usually their personality is incredibly stale 😂 Luckily though, I'm someone who finds personality to be the determining factor of how attractive someone is.
While I don’t want to discount your experience I would encourage you to try and suspend some of your initial apprehensions with conventionally attractive people, sometimes because of previous experience our brains will put people in boxes or mark them off just because of past experiences preventing something beautiful from blossoming. All to protect ourselves
bullshit, they still have to be 6' chads I'm sure
@@djmohab2 I think the 6 foot thing is so stupid. Literally who gives a sh- about height?? My only requirements are a sense of humor and someone who's nice to animals and customer service workers (and me obviously). I've had people tell me they think that I date people that aren't attractive because that way I know they'll do whatever I want because they won't want to lose me. That's the most toxic and disgusting assumption I've literally ever heard.
@@MorgueInTheVoid damn, I'm sorry for judging you wrongly
@@djmohab2 It's okay, I don't blame you. There's so many women that have a whole list of requirements and expectations, which makes it nearly impossible for them to ever be happy in love. On top of the fact that they're the same type of women that will be offended if a man shows up with a list too and they don't meet that man's requirements. It's so egotistical, I don't understand why people can't just accept that no one's perfect and if they can't see that they themselves aren't perfect, they should not be expecting a "perfect" partner.
Glad to know most of my self confidence and leadership got ripped away due to childhood trauma 😍
I'm sorry to hear that. Have you explored or considered seeking support to work through the impact of childhood trauma on your self-confidence and leadership?
@@Psych2go Somewhat, I'm trying my best to work through it but it's hard. Thanks for asking! ❤️
@@sam_does_stuff read no more mr nice guy might help
I love watching someone talk passionately about something they really love. It’s admirable if one could specialize in something & become super knowledgeable on that subject. They could persuade others to learn about it as well.
Thanks for the hype up! I learned how talk to people from the books I learned then saw what worked and what didn't and eventually I found myself! For those who have no hope it takes some time to desolve what you were taught and not everyone is gonna like you but respect the effort or they themselves gave into hate a long time ago before you showed up so dont take it personal.
I love how you used characters from Oshi No Ko as prime examples for this video
😂🎉
Just do it pio pio!
They used chainsaw man too
I’ve never heard of the Halo Effect! I’m learning something new every time I come to this channel. Thank you! I am very glad that I’ve subscribed 🧡🧡
Happy to help! Thanks for supporting our work!
Validation is always nice. I suppose there's a few things I let slip recently that I should start working on again.
Thanks, Amanda and company! 😊
You're most welcome!
@Psych2go why does the voice keep changing pls and also do attractive people get compliments?
@@sussybaka8669who else would get compliments
@@sussybaka8669 her voice keep changing because it's not 1 person working on the video, attractive people do get compliments and low self esteem might make you perceive the compliment as satire or a joke, Hope this helped.
The animation , your voice it’s so relaxing wow ❤
Somebody once said something like: "if you are having doubts about if you are attractive or not, then most probably is that you are not. Or at least you are not perceived as attractive most of the time" and the answer is pretty simple, attractive people are well aware they are attractive (unless they are REALLY oblivious) because most of the time attractive people receive compliments and stares from people around them. So if you are not used to getting compliments, or looks from people around you, then you can be almost certain that the people around you doesn't consider you attractive.
Notice how i said "people around you", because the preferences can vary very drastically depending on the place and the people you are with, so is not all lost, you might be found way more attractive in another place or by other people.
Oh. No wonder I constantly feel unattractive. Depression makes it very hard to oractice or exhibit any of these traits, in my experience.
Literally, it’s been almost 3 years since I’ve felt any real connection with anyone
Yes, it is. I watch many of these attractiveness videos and the only thing that is consistent between all of them is self confidence. Since depression makes you lose your self worth and your love in your interests, it is very clear that depression makes someone very unatractive.
physical activity can help that. it generates brain chems but ALSO helps your sleep and that absolutely has an effect on mood and function.
Wow I think so because I'm got passion about my hobbies . Thanks 👍
I like that Pieyon on the thumbnail 💪😂🔥
I guess one would say that I am a relatively attractive guy. Since that I do most of the things on the list here at the slightest.
Of course the real attraction comes from the person within. Especially when it comes to having confidence in their own skin and being a great person!
Beautifully said!
Thank U for CRUSHING whats left of my self esteem.......
I love how this video wasnt just about looks but about personality traits a person have within themselves and its thanks too the man upsfpr blessing me too be attractive not just physically but also spirituality ❤❤❤
I’ve never felt so exposed about my personality!!
Unsubscribed
pppffffft get real.
and i've never felt so ugly after watching this video!!
IKR?!?!?!
Bfr 💀
Exercising and working out helped me feel more confident. I finally feel like I've achieved my trifecta of mental, physical, and spiritual fitness.
Wow this just confirmed I’m ugly as heck…why do I even try😩😵💫
I know 😢
i mean i know I’m ugly too but i dont really care or focus on it too much because i have other things to focus on during the day
Thank you for adding the subtitles. ❤❤
*For me:*
"You connect with others"
• Yes, I think I connect with other people easily! 😃
"You stay fit"
• I recently started going to the gym so yeah. 😃
"You influence others"
• Hmmm not really, I don't think my opinion is very considered in daily conversations. ☹️
"You are passionate"
• I don't know, I'm a brainiac who keeps talking about nerdy things like geopolitics, mathematics, learning languages, social datas and new technology all the time with other people. I'm honestly passionate about them but I don't know if people want to hear them. 😶
The most attractive thing is when someone looks outwardly, at others to help them through the tough times. People will see this and gravitate toward this in turn.
That's a powerful observation. It seems like your focus on others and their well-being is a magnetic quality.
At my last job, I was all of these things and respected. not just because of my position. However, I've never thought of that respect as attractive. Even off times, mostly breaks, a lot of the girls and even guys asked me about my workout. So, I would say borderline on that subject. As for if others attract towards me yes and no more toxic people tend to draw to me only some positive people do. The ratio would roughly be 4/1 respectively. I think it's just the city I live in, Vegas has scummy people.
I tried this with the hottest girl in the bar. I said "hi, I influence and connect with others and walk five miles a day". She said "but your old and fat and ugly and bald".
I said "I"m also poor".
I've been asked throughout my life, "you really don't know how pretty you are, do you?"
Ask I could say was my grandma once told me "pretty is as pretty does".
So, I never cared if anybody thought I was physically attractive. I did however, cared very very much of people thought I was attractive inside.
I've always tried to be kind, loving, tolerant, fair, open minded and accepting of all the differences each of us have inside of us.
A well meaninged video. Yes these can affect how attractive you are to a degree, however what you are born with matters a lot as well...
i love the oshi no ko inspired clips >
You get a lot of attention!
I was always wondering why people were always talking to me at school. This vid helped me understand so much now!! 👍👍🙌
Glad we could help! It's great that the video provided some clarity for you! What other specific insights from the video resonated with your own experiences?
Thank you rando video for making me feel like garbage ❤
just found out im ugly
Are you stupid just act confident take care of yourself learn good conversation skills and workout
Going into the video, I wasn't expecting myself to be one of these individuals, and well, my expectations were met. At least now I can try to work on these things. What stuck with me the most from this video is being enthusiastic, because I used to be like that when I was younger but I don't think that's uncommon for kids anyway. Well, thanks for making this video it was very nice to watch!
watching Psych2Go vids is like rubbing salt in the wound for me and yet i still do it
real
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, and I appreciate your honesty. I'm curious to understand more about what aspects of the videos are causing distress for you. Our aim is to bring awareness and positivity, so if there's a way we can better achieve that, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Wellp, I love it when I’m right xD literally everything here was not the case and since I’m always telling people in my surroundings that I don’t look good and they deny because well, my self esteem is already low as hell so yeah, very nice video, gave me the confirmation I needed, to know I’m not attractive. I’m not muscular at all, I don’t have any self esteem, I don’t show any sort of self love whatsoever, I don’t attract people around me like a magnet and just to shoot the nail in the coffin, in my 20 years of life there was exactly one individual who fell in love with me, problem with that is that I to that time was so damn dense that I didn’t even give it any sort of try or anything despite literally knowing she had the doki dokis for me, conclusion of this, in the span of 20 years there was one singular individual who fell in love with me, the whole rest of the time no one ever had anything for me and I’m always in the friendzone before even knowing each other properly. I will definitely die alone xD
Listen man. Life’s hard as fuck. It’s unforgiving as all hell, and will make you feel like shit quite a bit. But, you will only die alone if you don’t do anything to change that. As hard as it is, believe me I’ve been there, you gotta put in the effort if you want to change all these things in your life. You need to go out there and make the change you want to see in your life. If you’re searching for love, or friends, they’re not gonna come knocking on your door. You gotta go find it. Your self-esteem will always stay low, as long as you wallow in it. You need to kick those intrusive thoughts in the face, and break through these chains that you believe bind you. And if you can’t do it alone, maybe consider consulting a therapist. That’s what therapists are for. Hopefully anything I said can help you. I truly wish the best for you man! I hope you can make the decisions you need to better your life! You got this man! Stay strong and keep your head high! 💪
Think about who you were and what you were doing when someone was attracted to you. What are you doing today that is attractive? 🧲
@@curseofsasuke honestly, I have no idea what exactly was different back then, I was less confident, looked even worse than I do now… super nice that you try to help me, I really appreciate it and although I’m really thinking about it, there is literally nothing from back then that was better about me than now, it was more the opposite I think
I thought that exact same thing at 20 & then at 21 I found someone who wanted to marry me so hang in there life can surprise you. You don't know who you're going to meet so stay open & willing to talk to folks & you just might find the right person when you least expect it.
@@kieleleron85768 nice to hear, even tho I’m not really searching anymore since I kinda gave up xD
I klicke Don the video because I thought it might be interesting but I guess I can now say that scientifically and objectively I’m not attractive which is a statement that not everyone can say and back up xD
Ok real talk now, thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it, unfortunately I’m absolutely introverted so talking to new people kinda scares me but I will try my best to heed your advice
Thank you! I was so bullied in middle school that in the first year of highschool i lost all my confidence. I'll be starting college in 2024 and i got a little confidence boost from this video cuz i got all the things (guess my bullies were just jealous of me)
Good luck on starting fresh in college. It's usually much better than high school since there's typically more mature people around who don't care as much about silly, petty things that high schoolers bully others for. It's a great place to start anew and connect with others without the baggage of people knowing you from before.
i love the art from various animes from this channel, its so cute. thank you for being awesome
I watch your videos just for your voice......its so soothing. 🤍
I used to attract people without trying, people always coming up to me trying to be "friends" while not even knowing how to be one really. it started to get really annoying especially when alot of the people that wanted to be around me were either toxic or very VERY dumb to the point where it was just migraine inducing so i made it my goal to do everything possible without coming off like an ass (in most cases at least) to keep people away from me, now it's like second nature to me and i don't even have to try and keep em away, its been so serene these past couple years
How do you do it, if you don’t mind sharing? ✨
@@PrincessJayEzenot be ugly 😂
@@Thirsty4Thirstfirst of all rude, second of all they were asking how they didn't attract so many people to them. I don't get why people these days are so mean
@@Thirsty4Thirst First of all I was asking the person who initially made the comment not you. Secondly what you said didn’t even answer my question you legit troll 🧌 because that’s not what I was asking.
Lastly, hopefully you can use your own answer/ “advice” and muster up the confidence to show up on social media as yourself and not hide behind a picture of a cartoon character. 😳🥴😅😂😂 Like the audacity lol that’s very embarrassing for you smh 🤭😂😂
@@sam_does_stuff first of all, don’t put a picture of what you look like on the internet if you’re not willing to be judged. Also, it’s true that physically attractive people tend to be more attractive to other people even if they’re passionate about something or whatever. People have always been mean, the internet just gives us a medium to express it better. Also, did you make your profile picture? Cause that shit looks hideous
0:50 I have all of these but never knew why I was never connecting with people. I just got diagnosed with ASD at 21 and it explains why I've never made those connections. Now I'm scared they'll never happen. I'm good at chasing people away :(
So while I embody all of these 100%(even when I dont want to), there are two key differences that Ive noticed.
1. My social success comes from ME approaching THEM. A lot of friends have told me that when they initially saw me, they assumed my personality was negative or that i was self centered. I also got the word "Intmidating" a lot. But when i approach them, obviously im all smiles and jokes and they then feel comfortable.
2. This is a little personal, but I cant seem to keep a lot of people around. Specifically in romantic feilds. I can always attract, make them laugh and (Im told) Im a natrual flirt, but as soon as i show my deeper side, it scares them off.
I started automatically reading this comment like the rest of them, and the longer it went on, the more I thought to myself, did I write this whole falling asleep or something??
I kno how you feel.
I also noticed that I can heavily influence how often I see my friends.
If I hit them up, they are almost always down to meet.
If I don't, I can also not see them for weeks or months (without it impacting our relations).
So I like to take initiative and plan activities with them whenever I haven't seem them in a while.
Haha, example: You, The narrator keeps us into the video mainly cause of your voice.
It is a very soothing and reliable type of voice. 💯
your voice is so soothing ❤❤
Hey, 90th comment! I guess one thing I know that I have in the bag is intelligence. I don't mean to sound like im saying that im the smartest person i know or anything, just that I like to learn and I do it often, about almost anything. Science, in all it's forms, has always been my favorite subject, ever since I was a little kid. I wish I could keep that passion more often when it comes to my classes in college though lol.
I needed this rn
Physically, I think I'm objectively ugly, personality wise, I'm not the most attractive person ever. However, this video upped my confidence a bit.
For some reason, people and animals seem to like me, I don't even do anything, they just seem to flock to me, and I've noticed that a lot of them even try imitating me.
I used to find this annoying because I like being alone most of the time, but now I see their intentions from a different perspective, and it makes me like people more.
When things start mirroring you, that's a very good sign they like you. This may mean that they want a romantic relationship with you or they want you guys to be friends. in any case, they want more of you. If you want them back, great, kudos to you for being an interesting human!
@@leandrooliveira3070 Thanks :) I hope that most of them don't want a romantic relationship with me because they're family members, but I wouldn't be opposed to being friends.
What's your dynamic with people like?
@@nooneneedstoknowmyname lol I believe they just want to be friends in your case haha. I hope 😶🌫️
And could you please explain better what you mean by dynamic with other people? I don't understand your question. Do you mean how people react to me and I to them?
@@leandrooliveira3070 Haha.
Yeah, like how do you get along with people and how do they act around you?
You just answered my questions! If an attractiveness meter existed, i would be lost in fhe negatives 😭🙏
After the video, I finally understood people, like my wife, around me. She is very direct and honest. I have many good and healthy relationships with people around me, I'm very active and fit, I always try to help people out and support them to change their lifestyle and because I'm a very passionate man (Though, that's because I grew up in a very healthy household and lost it too early, which kind of traumatized me for life, making me desperate for approval and love).
My wife oftentimes told me how I'm making her insecure due to being a very good man and influencal around other people. I always told her that she has nothing to worry, because there is nothing, weather material or a person I know, that would ever defeat the love I have for her. Never understood why that is, until I watched this video 😅 Now I'm a bit flustered.
I have had experiences where strangers would sit beside me on the bus and begin to tell me about their life without me asking. I think it’s because they think I’m a Christian (I actually am). Many strangers have asked me before and in my country Christians tend to be nice people so they probably saw in me.
As a gamer, society isn't ready to accept our kind, so I must hide my power level in order to not scare them away.
Only the first one fits me, usually I don't really make friends, friends make me (phrasing 🤔) and I easily talk to pretty much anyone. So I'm a fifth attractive, let's goo
I exercise, I eat healthy, I’m hygienic, I’m usually happy and bubbly, I always try, and I’m passionate.
What is my problem? I don’t understand.
Should I be relieved or concerned if I no longer care if others find me attractive? From age 18 to about 35, I was given compliments about my looks almost on a daily basis. It’s flattering to an extent, but it makes you feel like it’s your only commerce. Now that I’m losing hair and gaining weight, I feel a sense of ease. And I’m uncomfortable receiving compliments about weight loss. “You’re looking great” translates to “You were unacceptable before” in my brain. The topic of attractiveness, I feel, heads towards the dangerous waters of comparison. I encourage everyone to be yourself and the best citizen you can be. Kindness outweighs “confidence “ “passion” and “fitness” always always always.
Women who have a good relationship with their grandparents or elders in general attract me.
1:58 what is she doing here
First of all, I saw Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame multiple times, and while I may share a similar personality as Quasimodo, I don’t think I’m as ugly as he is.
Secondly, the most creative thing that I’m doing with my lifestyle is creating a webcomic, which almost everyone is curious to know more about.
Basically it’s what’s inside that matters 🤲 I hope everyone has a great day ❤
One of my besties is just like this !! She's so genuinely interested in others. Sometimes it gets annoying because they try to act like they're her friend and I'm the thirdwheel. When she sees me being pushed away, she nicely cuts the conversation with them and comes back to my side ❤
Great now I can be 100% sure I'm not attractive 🎉😂
I work out and developed body dysmorphia now I hate myselfe even more than i did before 1:16
0:25 only when they need stuff
Oh my God I love this voice😭😭❤️❤️
I love how the examples are oshi no ko themed :))
After watching this video I can confirm that I am indeed unattractive.
This just explained that pretty privilege is real
I've only watched Season 1 of Chainsaw Man, but I found it stunningly insightful that they used Makima to illustrate an example of an attractive person being more credible/persuasive/trustworthy. Denji has feelings for Makima, something that she is aware of and exploits to her full advantage. Denji was extremely loyal to her by design. If nothing else, it illustrates to us that, we should check our evaluations of a person, especially when we are attracted to said person.
The anime watchers will go insane once they animate certain parts of the Manga
In this comment section.
You realize how many people want to validate what they could’ve been than what they could be.
2:54 Har Har? 🐻🐰🐥🦊
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
I don't think I'm that attractive. A solid 6, maybe a 7 on a good day. But I know how to carry myself, dress well, and stay groomed. I have long, thick curly hair, which gets me lots of positive attention, and occasionally confusion. Having a naturally androgynous appearance is surprisingly appealing to a lot of people; I like to joke that I'm a Rorschach Test when it comes to perceived gender. Staying in shape definitely helps, too. I'm the last person in my family that doesn't have diabetes, and I intend to keep it that way. I live on a hill, and walk laps up and down it every day for an hour. I used to worry that my neighbors would think I was crazy or some kind of prowler, but now I get waves and greetings all the time. Whenever I travel, I spend most of it either hiking or taking photos. I'm the one that _always_ gets asked to take someone's photo whenever we're at a famous location. Or if I'm on a cruise at sea or waiting for jury summons, you'll always find me quietly working on a jigsaw puzzle with any confident enough to join me. These go well with the passion aspect; people can see that I'm attentive to my surroundings and know what I'm doing. I have a lots of interests: reading, writing, travel, hiking, photography, physical/Earth sciences, video games, movies, anime, jigsaw puzzles... The list goes on and on. People especially take notice when you put energy into whatever subject you're discussing.
That part about influencing others is absolutely correct. This is probably going to sound old-fashioned, but it really is a matter of putting your best foot forward. Not only do people remember their first impression of you the most, but they perceive you by the way you make them _feel._ It's amazing how far you can get with eye contact, listening instead of talking, asking questions, being earnest, and having an easygoing attitude. I'm on a first name basis with several of the staff at my local grocery store and the wheelchair volunteers at the hospital, simply because I always take the time to ask how their lives are going. They love hearing about my latest adventures (32 countries/6 continents as of now!) and seeing photos. One of them even recently stopped their car in the middle of the road so they could say hi as I did my cardio. There's a store in the city that I only visit once a year, and the owner still recognizes me. Whenever I'm in a group - be it in an academic, work, or travel setting - I inevitably end in some kind of leadership, planning, or navigational role. Apparently, I come off as capable and trustworthy. I once even talked my way into a high profile tech event in San Francisco; I just wandered in off the street and asked what it was about. The woman at the desk printed me out a full pass - worth over $1,000 - and told me to go see for myself. One of the booths in there had authentic Hawaiian leis as decorations. I asked if I could take one, and was shocked when they said yes. I wore those flowers for the entire subway ride home. Good times.
There is one _massive_ flaw, though: I struggle with actually making meaningful connections. It's totally for lack of trying, too; I gave up a long time ago. I had an extremely rough childhood: born, raised in, escaped from a cult, dealt with neglectful and violent parents, took care of myself at a young age, faced years of racism and homophobia, grew up mostly in social isolation, and put myself through college without student loans or help from my family. As a result, it's like I missed some of the basics of How To Human. When you take a step back and observe things as an outsider, you realize just how nonsensical - if not outright insane - a lot of people are. So I spent my early life running in survival mode, never connecting with anyone. People are shocked when they find out I don't have a wife/SO, or even any friends. Every relationship I've had has ended with me being used and/or abandoned. This has wrecked my mental well-being; I'm officially diagnosed with depression and "personality disorder not otherwise specified" because whatever is wrong with me is too complex to be narrowed down. So whenever I interact with others, I still put my best foot forward. I feel like I have to be positive and easygoing, otherwise people will think I'm arrogant and self-absorbed. That can negatively impact how well I'm treated. It's ironic; people love talking to me, but I'm happiest when I'm alone on a trail. If I could get away with it, I'd live without talking to others. But I know that's impossible. I don't know how I'm supposed to get past this.
TLDR: I agree with all the points brought forth in this video. In terms of physical attraction, I think I'm slightly above average at best. But I know how to carry myself, dress well, and stay groomed. I keep myself in reasonably good shape as well. But the real difference comes with passion; I have a lot of interests and stay engaged with my surroundings, and people notice. Influencing others is also important; I present myself well, because I know that first impressions and how you make someone _feel_ are absolutely vital to their lasting perceptions. It's amazing how far you can get with eye contact, listening instead of talking, asking questions, being earnest, and having an easygoing attitude. People are naturally drawn to me, and I'm regarded as a natural leader, planner, etc. However, I struggle to make actual, meaningful connections. Despite everything, I have no relationships. My early life was filled with violence, neglect, and isolation, and I missed out on some of the basics of How To Human. I lost faith in people and relationships a long time ago, but keep up appearances despite it not feeling natural to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to live with this.
You just posted a book😅
I relate to many things you said. It's a beautiful thing to be comfortable in your own company without friends. Maybe this isn't necessarily what you would like to hear but I would say that my faith in God and that I'm never actually doing things alone brings me a lot of peace. It's actually the one close friendship I do have, though I know and connect with so many people. Jesus is the God of the outcasts and people with messy pasts. No matter how put together, friendly, and passionate that outcast may be. I've come to realize God could have made people like us to be able to reach out to the lonely and unseen in our communities. Isn't that a beautiful thing? If I had time commitments of friendships to keep up I wouldn't have the time to love on others as much. When you read about Him for yourself you see how awesome He was. Then when you see Him working in your life to make you a more peaceful, loving, and happier person it's really crazy.
This whole comment is how narcissism looks like.
@@zlumi428 Nah, this was nothing. I used to have a writing career, so I'm used to belting out paragraphs.
@@OneWayTheWayYahweh I see. I'm glad that your faith in God has given you peace. Unfortunately, being born and raised in a cult ruined religion for me. The organized aspect of it, anyway. The idea that a mere human could accurately understand and enact the will of an omnipotent being is highly presumptuous to me. And I've experienced firsthand what evils people do unto others in the name of God. Imagine being a child and realizing that you're in a cult, and _everyone around you is crazy._ My grandfather was a preacher in that cult, and one whole side of my family were in on it. After I escaped, I was considered persona non grata by that community; they won't even look at me in public anymore. My extended family thinks I'm some kind of rebellious bad influence, even though I'm just science oriented, ask too many questions, and not straight. My own mother said she wished she never had me. It was said in the heat of the moment, and she's since regretted it and tried to restore our relationship. If I were younger, I would've dismissed the existence of a god entirely. However, I've had enough unusual experiences to know that there are aspects to reality that can't be explained with current science. So, I've settled for being agnostic. The important thing is that everyone needs something to believe in. It's great that you found yours. Take care out there.
oh I'm unattractive 😭
I can say with confidence (pun intended) that feeling good about yourself first will make a huge difference with dating. I decided to have a gastric sleeve procedure and have lost over a hundred pounds. I was also an alcoholic but kicked the bottle for good around 4 months ago. Since then my confidence has sky rocketed, and I’m so much more comfortable talking with girls and putting myself out there. Learn to love yourself, and you’ll be able to love others a lot easier.
20 years of singing, 15 years of guitar, 13 of bass, 10 of rap... but only 1 week of drums. It's that week of drums that makes the difference : I'm learning, I'm not the pro anymore, well I still am on the other things so the approach is different than just struggling. The methodology is there and the confidence as well, I'm not like "oh I suck I'll never be good" but rather "it's the same thing, gotta commit to the bit and be patient and I'll be good", the serenity and completeness are the key. Day after day I'm more at ease with people in general.
1. People are mean to you
2. You never get complimented on your looks by strangers
3. Old people and people who care about you say you're so beautiful you'll be snatched right up
4. Guys never approach you
5. Babies and little kids like you 😊
6. Women constantly ruin your life and work politics are impossible. You're constantly stressed out.
Well dam how I wish the video was on these points 😅