This made me feel better, like I’m not alone in this terrible feeling. In the situation you feel on a deep deep lever something wrong, and even if you’re honest with your friend about everything you still would choose the world where your friend and your ex never become a thing. It’s pain on a deep level, almost instinctive. So many emotions and not everyone can take being drowned by their emotions and losing friends at the same time. I’m sorry to anyone else going through this, you are not alone
I don't understand this point of view the ladies. Especially if your married, what exactly are you mad about... You and an ex didn't work out and they might be perfect for your friend. You don't own that ex, and have no claim on them.
lilian makori you are 100% right, but Do you really know deep down inside how someone feels, affairs of the heart can be very strong. plus never put yourself In a position to be used for revenge. NEVER
EXACTLY! Plus, at the end of the day, if the friend’s ex turns out to be the love of her life, then she should take that over her friend for sure... just keeping it real.
Agree , your ex is just that not your property and if your married and moved on let her be happy unless you still have unsettle feelings , and sometimes circle are to small towns are too small things happen I think she should ask her friend and go from there and if she thinks he is worth more then the friendship not all friends are for life just like some men also
My only problem is it will cloud my perception of my friends integrity.. was she tellin me to “let him go” because she was secretly wanting to shoot her shot? Like keri said there’s 7 billion people in this earth why would u even touch that as a true friend
I don't...you shouldn't. But how can your friendship work if your friend is Sleeping with your Ex. Do you REALLY want to here how happy she is with your Ex??
@@crystalanamericaninsicily If someone has truly moved on, they would be happy for their friend. We don’t OWN people. This seems like a toxic form of possessiveness to me.
@@metalheadlass9868 OK. I don't care WHO my EX is with! But I definitely would feel uncomfortable having lunch with my "Friend" while she's talking about my EX. We don't OWN people but Friends shouldn't do anything to hurt you.
Why do people think that if you date them they are your's forever? That's what you are saying when you say your friend can't date your ex. If you aren't over them, then why are you with someone else? If you are over them, why do you care if your friend and them hook up? They are your friend, meaning they must share some similar personalities and tastes as you, maybe even types of people. So while it may not have worked for you, it will work for them. Stop being a selfish controlling individual saying no friend can have what is yours (newsflash, ex isn't yours), and move on. Only time it's an issue is if it's an ex because they literally harmed you, stole from you, endangered your life... and that friend knew that. That's the only time you can say "Oh hell no."
Kat Bunch hear what you’re saying but to counter that don’t be surprised if your friend doesn’t want to double date or invite you over to their house with their new boyfriend. It may simply be they want to move on with their life and don’t want to be around that person! Now if you and your ex are friends it might be different, I just know me personally I’ve never been friends with an ex once...... that lady and I go our separate ways I don’t want to hang out with her at all
Sorry I don't agree its my opinion I just find it awkward and weird yea I would be happy for them but at the same time I can't just bleh its gonna be like when your mom marries your ex
@@blackbutterfly233ify _How?_ He's saying once you're married, your spouse (and family) should be your only concern. You have deeper issues if you find that disgusting.
MrEasyNah how???? Are you that dumb? I don't care if they broke up 20 years ago. Im not dating my friend or family member's ex. That is disgusting. There are so many people in this world you can be with if you put yourself out there. I had this situation happen. I ended up dating my cousin's ex and honestly the minute i found out, it was downhill for us. Now by this time my cousin moved on, got kids with someone else. But it's still uneasy to know you shared men. You can't be that desperate for a man
@@blackbutterfly233ify Explain how it's disgusting then. Cause at the moment, logic isn't on your side. If they were related to the person they are interested in, or if that person is a minor, then that would count as being disgusting. But all I'm hearing from you is that you are possessive and cant let the past go, and are therefore not fully committed to the person who you may currently be in a relationship with. If you can't explain, then you've proven my point.
I think it depends on the relationship they had, I had similar experience. I dated a guy for about a month it wasn’t serious, felt like he wasn’t as into me before we started dating so I ended it. 2 years later, my friend reached out to me saying that they became close friends and it’s kind of turning into something but doesn’t want to explore it if I’m not okay with it. I told her look he wasn’t for me, it was nothing serious so I have no problem and won’t ruin what we have if you start dating him.
YOU ARE RIGHT, THAT IT DEPENDS ON THE RELATIONSHIP THEY HAD! Cause believe it or not some Ex's are as important to someone as the current ones, because of the beautiful memories and bonding created during the relationship. Some people, me included, remembers some moments vividly and love to fantasize about them with their ex. Now these are pretty romantic vivid memories that you wouldn't like to share or have to stop thinking about them because of your friends. So friends dating my ex is a no go zone for me. Cause I always remember something memorable about my ex's I wouldn't want friends to know or share about unless only I talk to them about it. And there is always a chance to want to touch that booty!!
That’s different. You and your ex were never serious and your friend didn’t intentionally pursue your ex. They had a friendship with your ex that was slowing turning into something more. That’s an example that some things in life just happen and when it does you just have to go with it.
@@lynne709 I agree ,And she also asked first, the friend didn’t sneak around or go behind her back and plus the relationship ended 2 years before the friend started perusing him so it’s fine.
They dated for less than a week in my case, it's just a dilemma that I have crush on the person they dated even if it wasn't serious at all. But we'll see fr.
My best friend dated the girl I'm seeing 12 years ago and he still wants to end our friendship. I had no intention to date her, we were friends first and it recently became intimate. Sucks cause I've known them both for 20 years
I don’t understand this point of view. An ex is an ex...if you’ve married and moved on..it’s kind of an injustice to the current person you’re with to still harbor feelings for another person (an ex). I feel like women these days are all sorts of insecure and selfish. Maybe an ex would be perfect for your friend. Incredible. Man it’s really difficult for folks to be real and authentic these days.
So she was feeling your man when you two were dating! Would you be happy with your own sister dating your ex? Best friends are meant to be like your own sister
I've never been attracted to any of my friends men. Ewwww. It's an automatic no. One of my gf hooked me up with this guy once and after we started dating she made it slip and told me she had sex with him before she introduced us.. Can I tell you I blew a lid? How dear she? I told it it was wrong of her to hook me up with somebody she had slept with and I stopped talking to the guy because it wasn't the same after that.
If you value your friendships, give it six months to two years, depending on how serious they were. If your friend is cool about it, still give it a month. Good friends are hard to find and that gets worse as you age, so you want to keep them as long as possible. Now, if you don't care about your friend, then do whatever.
@@amoramoleko8581 But you didn't find happiness with him. I would think my girlfriend was pretty desperate to Date my EX. And sorry...no way you could remain friends.
Crazy how the two women on stage think that it's okay to be friends with their ex husband or ex-partner and be in a relationship and their partner has to accept it but changed her tune real quick if someone wants to date their EX
Personally, I could care less, not every man treats every woman the same, so maybe with her he will be a different man than what he was with me, and if it works out, I am so very happy for her.
I think people are missing a point key word is best friend! If she is your best friend the downfall is that you probably want see them as much. As a man if you are my friend and started dating my ex....... I couldn’t be around you two, They are an ex for a reason...... and no longer wanted them in my life. So now unfortunately you won’t be in my life either! I’m a firm believer in always going forward
Not all relationships end on a bad note. If you don't ever want your ex's in your life then that means YOU had bad experiences, but your experiences *are* not everyone's experiences. Some people have mutual agreements to stop dating and see other people.
That’s cool and all, but it’s not like you’re going to be single still while that happens, you already moved on with another person. Could’ve been years since you were with that ex.
6 лет назад+153
i agree, the trust would def be altered. if im married then i would wish you well but i dont wanna be around you and my ex. cordial but we can't be best buds.
Best friend issa no, but acquaintance I say go for it but you probably won't be friends with that person anymore. I always say if you go that route, understand that the friendship won't remain the same (probably over). It's worth it if the person ends up being the love of your life, but if the guy was a dog he's probably gonna dog you out too and you'll lose a friend and have your heartbroken.
Joy A. If she and the ex just want to bang each other, do it without telling her. If she wants a relationship with him she should ask her friend if he's any good because he wants to talk to her but she doesn't want him if he's a dog. At that point she will have her friends blessing. She should never tell her friend she always liked her man. But if her friend has gotten married she should'nt give a F who her ex is with.
Joy A yup true... now I'm with my bestfriend ex we are no long good friend bt who cares as long as the man want be with me and we about to get marriage in dha Allah life is good🙏🙏
And the point is not that I'm married now but the PRINCIPLE is that, you're going through my past (typically a painful one) and bringing it into my present and my presence. No. It's thoughtless & greedy. 6 billion people in the world!
Well, I would think if your girlfriend had a bad breakup with the person, it's a no no obviously. But if they ended on neutral or good standing, I don't see why it would be a problem for your girlfriend to date your ex if you have no attachments to him anymore. He may not have been your soul mate, but what if he's hers? Would you deny her a chance to find out?
I don't care about no circle!!!. That's an excuse for being thrifling. Don't date my ex if you're my friend. Get the hell out the circle and go find yourself a square. She's out her mind. Smh. That's betrayal , violation , and a forever side eye.
roc luxe sorry to intrude you don’t have to answer because I see you made the comment 2 weeks ago but let’s say you are married and you are happy in your marriage. Why should it matter if your friend starts to take an interest in your ex? Not trying to be rude or anything, I’m just curious because I’ve came across this discussion before but I was still quite baffled about the whole thing.
+Jemima Parker-Thomas the points were raised in the video. It's like the story of that girl who confided in her best friend, then her bf encouraged her to break it off with the guy only for her to start dating him. I personally don't trust no woman - today she wants your ex, tomorrow she'll aim for your husband
I’m just saying he’s my ex for a reason. If my best friend got with my ex, oh well I still love her like a sister. I’m sorry I’m not going to be mad because she inherited my old problem, I’m happy without him. No need to get mad, I don’t see the issue if you’re married and supposedly over your ex why do you care?
Natas Nico Ikr let her date him if she wants the woman is married now and also just because he and her didn't work doesn't mean they won't. most people learn from last relationship
Not all exes are bad. Sometimes different goals so they part, feelings cooled, etc... but your friend always got along with them, their goals line with ex's and your friend, like you, has the same taste in an I individual (which is likely because friends tend to share similar traits in some way). These are easy to understand reasons why a friend would want to date your ex with no ill intent. But a friend who selfishly tells another friend they can't give love a chance with their ex because they dated them first? That's no friend.
I really find appreciation from all of these comments. I thought I was the only one who thought it’s not okay for your friend to date your ex. If I’m trying to move on or it was a bad break up or we’re just not good for each other and your friend swoops in and starts dating her and it’s a friend you see all the time, more damage is being done.
It's not your concern. 8 can agree it's shady if the ex did something to you. But if not, then you can't use your feelings to tell them they can't have somone they work with
advance apology for the novel. if that is the case, i will ask my friends first what they think of this?,if we have different perception, upbringing, values. i would also let them know my perception, and if it happens that we have different values when it comes to that, and they didnt respected me when i already told them what i think about it ,and doesnt like and what my boundaries are (even if my significant other is not my ex yet, i dont want my friend to talk to my partner in secret is what i mean, they could have other friends too, or best friends, is what i mean), that my perception is different, and in return, i did the same for them, then, ill know if i was even respected nor i should even trusted this person from the start with this so called friend. i will already give them limits. meaning ill be blunt as ever from the start. and if they think im controlling, its not my problem anymore, since we will just argue anyway because we have a different opinion on that matter. so does that mean, when i was still with this person, you became close? you were already talking with each other? thats weird. why is your significant other talking to your friend secretly to begin with when you were still together even if they are just friends, and when you guys broke up, they are still of course talking with each other still as friends,lol, until they just confessed to you, they are now together. does your ex and friend never have other friends? but your ex? lol. for me, even becoming close friends with my friends significant other is a no no! their significant other could also be my friends, but with boundaries, and when my friend is only present at the scene. and if they did broke up, then i myself have no reason to become friends with their ex as well. hi, and bye is most likely the case. i asked one of my friend about this topic a year ago, and she said she doesnt mind at all, nor she would mind if i dated her ex (which i doubt at all, if i dated all her exes who is a billionaire , that she wouldnt be affected at all even if she is already dating someone else) i really doubt that. by the way she still talked about them,even when she is already with someone else. lol. and she just became friends with that girl when they broken up, not because she was was friends with that girl to begin with. lol. some people just doesnt have that emotional intelligence to others. but from what we have talked about, she feels that i am one of her trusted friend, while i myself, dont trust her when it comes to that part. even if it hasnt even occurred to us yet, (cause we still have different circles) i feel that she was being a hypocrite. and its not her fault, its also not my fault. im still trying to save our friendship, even if she isnt trying to see it in my perception, then i would definitely would just try to avoid this things to happen. some of my friends, even if we have the same perception, surprisingly enough, i know she was dating, but didnt even tried to let me meet their significant other on their dating stage, next thing i know, they are getting married, and you're the maid of honor, or the grooms man. even if im not close to their significant other. which is the technique i will do to everyone from now on. not because i dont trust my significant other, nor the friends who i know have the same perception about the exes thing for now. i just dont have the time for drama, or arguments of me being selfish. there is a saying, never let a snake into your house in the first place. never be too trusting with people. ive seen a lot of people whom they let a friend into their house, and that person didnt even know the snake you let in, were already inlove with each other with your significant other. hahahaha, ive experience it from both perspective, my friends ex going after me, for many years, which i have been avoiding or never giving the time of the day , my friends going after the person i want or they know is interested on me, lol, hahaha.... i never go after my friends exes. nor even tried to be their friend after their break up. im pretty sure, there are many fishes out there. i did have my social life back then, oh yeah, if its just a fling, or nothing serious, who cares if they dated someone who was interested on me first, or my date, lol. been there, done that as well, but doesnt mean, i also take this group of friends of mine seriously. cause its like a test for me. my friend does that, she forgave our other friend who we didnt know had made out with her ex, but we just found out after they have broken up. but im the only one who knows she doesnt trust her 100 percent completely. lol. and yes, after 20 years, they are still close. hahahaha. but i call it plastic.
Lack of emotional maturity. If you have moved on and both parties are attracted to each other. Why not? The only reason to block is you still have feelings for the person. And if you truly loved the person why would you block their potential happiness. We have to remember we do not have ownership over a persons happiness, emotions, attractions and feelings not even in marriage. Once something doesn't work. Move on stop holding on to the past.
It depends...an ex is an Ex...I really don’t care about who my Ex is dating. And the fact that me and a person don’t work out, doesn’t mean they’re not gonna be great with someone else( that person could be my friend). I really don’t care
This happened to at least 3 times, my girl friends went with my ex-boyfriends after me. At first it didn't bothered me, but as I got older and sit back and looked on my life past experiences, I just couldn't get over the fact that these women weren't really good friends. I still love my friends, but it's not right.
technically there are 3.5 billion men and to that you have to take off the liars, the cheaters, the ones that don't have a job, the dumb asses, the crazy mofos and if you're into handsome men you're screwed love. personally when i'm over a guy, i'm OVER him if one of my girls wants him then good for her if it bothers me then that would mean i still feel something for him, UNLESS it was one of those heartbreaking love stories that truly hurt you friend then of course it would be out of the question.
I don’t want my friend sloppy seconds. Not only that but most guys date a whole group of friend just to say that they been with you all . I’ll find my man .
Diann Valentine I absolutely think you have no idea the hurt that causes a relationship! I lost my best friend to her doing exactly what that lady was asking... it sucks and Keri and Kimberly is absolutely hitting every nail on the head ALL those thoughts went through my head when my friend dated and married my ex whom I had been with for years its not cool and what about the love of a friend does that not matter ...anyways this topic definately hit home for me and I'll end by saying this...LADIES ITS NOT COOL TO DATE YOUR FRIENDS EX,,,AND IF SO GET PREPARED TO LOSE THAT FRIEND
JasMontrell It is very hard to find someone that you can fall in love with these days, especially if you're an introvert. If my friend falls in love with someone I used to date, I will feel uncomfortable but learning to get over it it is a sacrifice that I make so that my friend can find happiness. If you can't think that way about your friend's happiness then maybe your friend dodged a bullet by losing your friendship. Its not really worth much.
If Diann has no problem with her friend dating her ex, then there is no hurt. The friendship should remain intact. Don’t date the guy then get mad at your friend. I’m not sure where the logic is coming from if she said she doesn’t have an issue with it.
I'm a guy and I couldn't. It's against bro code. There's so many girls out there and it weird thinking that I am dating and kissing etc someone that my best friend was.
I agree with Kim & Keri I wouldn't be able to trust my so called friend anymore the friendship dynamic would be terrible cause you wouldn't be able to come talk to me about him It'd be different if it was someone I just dated yeah you can date them but someone I was actual in relationship with I'd have to give you the ultimate side eye every time I see you cause I would feel like you always gotten a hidden agenda if you liked him why am I just hearing about this after we broke up if we're suppose to be good friends it's one thing to think he cute and a whole other to wanna be with him
if you date or marry one of your exes friend, i wouldnt be friends with this person for suree, you cant coexist with that person anymore no matter what
If I was your friend and you couldn't learn to be happy for me for finding love with your ex, then I'm happy to have you out of my life because it means that our friendship isn't worth enough to you.
Natas Nico That's probably a correct explanation for why they *feel* that way. But the reason why they *act* that way in ending a friendship is because they're not a very good friend. Also, if they can't move on from their ex, then maybe its because in the back of their mind they're keeping their ex on layaway. Maybe deep down they hope that their ex will change and there might be a chance for them to start over.
One person's trash can be another person's treasure! If I couldn't or didn't want to appreciate what I had in someone, then I need to let it go completely. I can't get mad at my friend or the next woman who found what I got rid of.
Is it really that hard to love that you have to start dating your friends ex’s?????!!!!!!!!!! 🤷🏽♀️ I know to much about my friends ex’s to not ever want to date them. How about that part?!!!
If you look at the statistics people date who’s in their immediate vicinity people meet potential spouses from work or friends or people in your immediate circle and don’t use the excuse of “there’sbillions of people out there” Because you’re not gonna meet someone in France if you don’t speak French you’re not gonna speak Chinese so you can’t meet someone in China etc. and most adults can’t even travel to other states because they have responsibilities so you’re bound to your immediate circle
Exactly... he was already in our lives why does he need to be reintroduced... let him go find another family to join unless you want to join him... then by all means goodbye and goodluck... (thankfully I don't have them problems)
You can date my ex no problem be sure to be my ex friend too . Because ain’t nobody got time for guy to hear about your relationship . Trust will be gone and if you only like left overs girl go for it and exit my life real quick..
Fortune Fortune That’s true! I told mutual friends that I didn’t want to hear about my ex ever again. Guess what my “friend” was constantly doing before I found out she was “talking” to my ex? She didn’t know boundaries, man.
She said she's always had a crush on her ex. Which means it goes back from the time that her friend and the guy were dating. Hell naw, you gotta watch those types of women point blank
A crush that she never acted on... and is even considering her friend's feeling before deciding whether or not to date him.... sounds like a great friend to me
I believe there are nuances. EG " Ex breaks up with me and the week or a month after goes out with my best friend". That would be suspicious. However if I'm " happily married" for 5 years to someone else. Im out of line if I get upset at that.
If she cared about you enough to not make make a move on him then you should care enough about her and let her find potential happiness. This is just selfish, especially if you're married.
How can you call yourself my friend when your with somebody that possibly hurt and mistreated me. Where is the loyalty? I might be over it but there is such a thing as loyalty otherwise we ain't friends.
If you're the type of ex that I can't stand to have in my life, I don't want you to be with my friend. However, if you're an ex that has long become a platonic friend go ahead and date my friend. Either way, my girlfriend, you will receive the side eye! Since when have you wanted what I had👀
There are not that many single people in this world and some people run in small circles. If there is no cheating involved and people have moved on....feelings develop and undevelop all the time. You can like someone and get over them. On the other hand, you can know someone casually for years and then one day something sparks or God talks to you and you realize that this is the person he meant for you all along. If there is no cheating involved and the person did not try to get with your man when you were together...just realize feelings develop or grow. It is normal. You can see someone after some years when God has prepared you and suddenly have the feelings come over you one day out of the blue. You can fight the feelings; but, if it is God's plan it will happen no matter how you try to fight it. It is not that complicated to where you have to think the feelings were always there. I had a friend of mine date my ex and I was happy for them because I had moved on and realize that he was not the one for me.
Friends are friends because they have things in common and it’s normal to even have similar taste in men in common. I’d say maybe a friend can admire the qualities of a guy you’re with and then when you guys are over that admiration turns into something else. It’s something not even you can control. If all goes well, say she loses your friendship and he’s a great guy and they marry and create a family. This new family will be so happy that they will even include YOU in their prayers because that’s how it all started thankful that they met because of you…. And maybe one day when their children ask how their parents met… they will start off with “mommy had a friend long long ago that daddy was dating” and guess what? The kids will say “eewwww” it will be something of the past something funny something so insignificant yet so important because there they will be loving these new little humans with their entire heart. More than they ever loved YOU but thankful that because of you it happened.
For me I have experienced knowing people who can not allow there friend to date an ex thinks more with there heart in a relationship, people who usually see it the opposite like in this situation thinks more with there mind in a relationship.
I understand both sides. I also understand you can't help who you fall in love with. Me personally I won't do that for that's a line I won't cross. If my friend wants me to date her ex then ok
It’s not okay for me. Your friends are going to share to you some secrets with their relationship before, then all of a sudden you’re going to date your friends’ ex? I agree that there's a lot of guys out there so why not try to find someone else instead of the ex-boyfriend of someone close to you.
Often times what you look for in a friend is similar to what you look for in a man. So you might date a guy, you're not compatible but he sure seems similar to your friend. Now your friend would never consider dating him, or see him that way because he is yours. But years later if they meet up and get together should they not act upon it? You knew from the get go they would go well together. Why be upset. I think it depends on the situation.
Diane Collier Yep. And an immature person would have to take it too. I think if the friend came to the other friend and stated their interest honestly, while still expressing how much they loved and respected their friend and friendship, it could work. They both should be truthful if they are true friends. While nobody grown has to explain themselves or to ask for permission or approval, talking like civilized people can help.
@@legslipsandlashes9831 Exactly, if you are honest and they are broken up. If your friend says she does not want him anymore...and you have developed an attraction why not...don't be sneaky and do stuff behind their back or break people up...not that is just dirty the cheating part.
A disaster waiting to happen. What if your ex catches feelings again or never really stopped & now its awkward everytime the friend brings the ex around because of whatever happened in the past? Maybe you don't want your ex back or have feelings for them but that doesn't prohibit them from it. It's risky in my opinion and not worth it
Rod Williams I understand what your saying but at the same time a friend is a friend and she's sleeping with left overs. Your saying that you break up with your ex.
What no one took into account was what if that girls ex hurt her emotionally/psychologically/physically or she had was dumped ( or had dump him due to some form of hurt). Every time she sees him, beyond the fact that her BFF broke the sis code, it would kill her because wouldn’t it remind her of the hurt he put her through? You can be married but still have been through things in the past and just because you’ve moved on doesn’t mean you’ve not got scars from it; idk.
I feel like the people saying it’s okay are either very single and have never really been in love with anyone or both. Because if you’ve loved someone and thought they were the one for you and they broke your heart, you would not want to see them around and with your friend. Period.
It only hurts if you still care. also if you think your friend being together with your ex "hurts" you when you are already happy with your man/girl, then you have issues.
It’s happened to me and i still think it’s okay. Don’t assume things. If u still feel bothered after ur friend dating ur ex after years then ur still not over ur ex, if u were u wouldnt care one single bit. If ur friend is dating ur ex after a recent break up then i understand though if it’s been years u fr need to grow up and be happy with ur new love or urself
I believe it is based on maturity. It is natural for a person to still have feelings with somebody after they breakup. That is ultimately a soul tie. It is also okay if you no longer want to be friends with that person who wants to date your ex. I believe it depends on the two people involved. If my friend dated my ex and I still have feelings for that ex then I’d be hurt. If there were no feelings toward that ex, then too me it would still be a little weird. Me personally I’d never date my friends ex. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
1st off, if the friend is now married and you still have a crush on the ex, answer me this: do you have his number? Do you know where he lives? Do you see him on the regular? Did he/you hop in the DMs? Are you friends on social media? What kind of feelings are you harbouring? You can only have a crush on someone if their presence is frequent. What's up, friend? Give me the tea. *She brite, bad bad.*
She should never get married if that was the case but work it out with her ex it's very disrespectful to her husband and is considered as emotionally cheating
@@adityamakwana612 It still shouldn’t bother you if you’re married. Why get in the way of a friend’s potential happiness. There’s nothing respectful about that. That’s just selfish.
My friend dated a guy I set her up with for a few months. He was great to her. She cheated on him 3x with 3 different guys. I helped her out while she was going they a break up and I supported her when she had nowhere to go. They both pretty much stayed with me that summer and all 3 of us were inseparable. We became best friends When I needed someone’s and was going thru a bad time she went”ghost” she broke up with him also. Him and I were friends and went to high school together. I tex him and he answered, we started hanging out and we were together for 4 years. We were crazy in love. It didn’t all work out, but under all the circumstances I don’t think I did anything wrong.
The point of the fact of the matter is ... (lmbao )you can’t call your self my friend and your friendship compass is off .... period! PS I love Kerri’s energy !
I dated one of friends ex before he dated years back. I talked to him about it and he gave me his blessing. We dated and was together for 3 years and stay in touch now.
Ya a real friend would give blessings if their friend found love, not cut them off because they are dating their ex. Especially if they have married someone else. So ya nobody knows what love is nowadays. It's just selfishness and getting feelings hurt.
If the situation disrupts your “peace” then all you can do is just put that friend on the “ Acquaintance” list. I wouldn’t want to associate with that friend like you used to anymore. Especially since your “best friend” knew your boundaries and intentions ahead of time.
For me it depends on the guy, we all have that ex that we are not completely over so if you are my girl you should know them and stay away form them, also everything must be out in the open like you should ask your friend if she is ok with you dating her ex, and make sure that the guy is worth risking your friendship over.
Friends are friends because they have things in common and it’s normal to even have similar taste in men in common. I’d say maybe a friend can admire the qualities of a guy you’re with and then when you guys are over that admiration turns into something else. It’s something not even you can control. If all goes well, say she loses your friendship and he’s a great guy and they marry and create a family. This new family will be so happy that they will even include YOU in their prayers because that’s how it all started thankful that they met because of you…. And maybe one day when their children ask how their parents met… they will start off with “mommy had a friend long long ago that daddy was dating” and guess what? The kids will say “eewwww” it will be something of the past something funny something so insignificant yet so important because there they will be loving these new little humans with their entire heart. More than they ever loved YOU but thankful that because of you it happened.
Not really, they could marry the ex that you did not want. people are too insecure. My friend dated an ex and I did not know until she had and I was ok with it. I only dated him for a week. If your friend is sneaky and does stuff behind your back or cheats...then yeah...I would see the problem. If they are honest and tell you they have developed an attraction, then they respect you and you need to understand and respect where they are coming from....
This is real. This reminded me of my Beta bestfriend. before me and my Ex got together I realised that my old best bud who I was friends with since my childhood for 15 yrs in person ,knew each other and he knew her as a mutual contact on Social Media, when I dumped her, he jumped right in and got with her and he knew that I dated her after a couple of months and said nothing after I moved house. This to me? broke every bit of respect for my friend and I completely outed him from my life because I don't need them BS friends who pick up your breadcrumb trails and take advantage of that situation.... they're still together after 1 year but still feel burnt from him, never spoke to him since that happened. Isn't the world such a small place?
I don't care married or not If I cut somebody out of my life relationship or friend wise they are cut off. Them worming them way back into my life through other people is no go and those people will get cut off to. Why would I move somebody out of my life purposefully and then let them come back into my life.
@@crispri3919 No, but time should be. As in, the time it took to date, connect, get serious, get engaged, and then get married to someone else. Something's wrong if you're still that raw over an ex after all that.
It’s a double edged sword. I’m going through this with one of my best childhood friend of 30 years, on one hand I don’t care cause I had no intentions of going backwards so I told her to go for it. But now she’s calling me telling me about stuff I care not to know about between them, and now every time she talks about him all I can see is all the sex we had and where lol. IT’s getting awkward and I just don’t want to talk anymore I’m not jealous or anything I wish her/ them the best, I’m having issues with the trust between me and her is tainted because me personally I would never put her in this position. I can’t hang out at her house no more because it feels awkward. And I don’t trust that he won’t try an flirt with me again which has happen a few years back when he saw me and that was after 10 plus years of not seeing each other and I told him then that I was in a relationship. I tried to see both sides the crazy thing is not only is she messing with him but she’s has like 3 other dudes on the roster lol so it’s not that she was lonely and found love with him he’s just now apart of the roster. I feel It’s time to move on.
I agree with the lady in green. You are done with that person so why care who they end up with. And Steve just because you told your boy the lady is crazy for you don't mean that she's crazy for him. He might like her that way. Once we are done with a person they can date whoever they want. You can't hold people.
@RRY PHILL ....I'm not speaking of close family. But you may find out at a family reunion that your 3rd or 4th cousin is now dating someone you dated. Nothing you can do. And why be upset? But I'm speaking of other people. If a girlfriend of mine want to date a guy I dated in the past I don't care. May the force be with her. They are in my past for a reason. Keep it moving!
I’ve always had so many options with men I never had to consider a friends ex as an option or even someone who is a friend of my friend. If I hung out with you and your man more than 3 times, I can’t ever consider him an option. But for more unattractive, introverted people I guess they don’t feel like they have other options. Sad.
People can do what they want, doesn’t mean we’ll be friends afterwards 🤷🏾♂️
yah speciallly if hes a close friend
Lol
Then your relationship was too shallow to begin with
THIS 👆🏾
@@gali13896 yes people are irrational, but would that be enough for you to never talk to them again or try and help them out of it
if i am married to you and your mad one of your friends started dating your ex, you're getting dropped!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💯
For reeeeeaaalllll
@Kay You why tho???
@Kay You that scenario is incomparable, therefore not cool.
You don't own anyone people...you have no right to tell other people what they can and cannot do.
This made me feel better, like I’m not alone in this terrible feeling. In the situation you feel on a deep deep lever something wrong, and even if you’re honest with your friend about everything you still would choose the world where your friend and your ex never become a thing. It’s pain on a deep level, almost instinctive. So many emotions and not everyone can take being drowned by their emotions and losing friends at the same time. I’m sorry to anyone else going through this, you are not alone
If you did this to your friend then you're a punk too
hey bro i feel the same way rn on da crossroad damn it.. n wonder how u relationship rn man
Wait so what do I do??😭
Drop your friend. Protect your peace.@@skatergirl1759
I don't understand this point of view the ladies. Especially if your married, what exactly are you mad about... You and an ex didn't work out and they might be perfect for your friend. You don't own that ex, and have no claim on them.
lilian makori
you are 100% right, but Do you really know deep down inside how someone feels, affairs of the heart can be very strong. plus never put yourself In a position to be used for revenge. NEVER
EXACTLY! Plus, at the end of the day, if the friend’s ex turns out to be the love of her life, then she should take that over her friend for sure... just keeping it real.
Agree , your ex is just that not your property and if your married and moved on let her be happy unless you still have unsettle feelings , and sometimes circle are to small towns are too small things happen I think she should ask her friend and go from there and if she thinks he is worth more then the friendship not all friends are for life just like some men also
My only problem is it will cloud my perception of my friends integrity.. was she tellin me to “let him go” because she was secretly wanting to shoot her shot? Like keri said there’s 7 billion people in this earth why would u even touch that as a true friend
Nay G’loir that's a good point, but if I'm engaged, I'm probably not gonna care. I've moved on from that person.
If you’re happy with your relationship, why do you still care about who is with your ex? Sounds like unresolved issues
Absolutely right✋🏼
I don't...you shouldn't. But how can your friendship work if your friend is Sleeping with your Ex. Do you REALLY want to here how happy she is with your Ex??
@@crystalanamericaninsicily If someone has truly moved on, they would be happy for their friend. We don’t OWN people. This seems like a toxic form of possessiveness to me.
@@metalheadlass9868 OK. I don't care WHO my EX is with! But I definitely would feel uncomfortable having lunch with my "Friend" while she's talking about my EX. We don't OWN people but Friends shouldn't do anything to hurt you.
@@crystalanamericaninsicily it only hurts if you care.
Why do people think that if you date them they are your's forever? That's what you are saying when you say your friend can't date your ex. If you aren't over them, then why are you with someone else? If you are over them, why do you care if your friend and them hook up?
They are your friend, meaning they must share some similar personalities and tastes as you, maybe even types of people. So while it may not have worked for you, it will work for them.
Stop being a selfish controlling individual saying no friend can have what is yours (newsflash, ex isn't yours), and move on.
Only time it's an issue is if it's an ex because they literally harmed you, stole from you, endangered your life... and that friend knew that. That's the only time you can say "Oh hell no."
Kat Bunch hear what you’re saying but to counter that don’t be surprised if your friend doesn’t want to double date or invite you over to their house with their new boyfriend. It may simply be they want to move on with their life and don’t want to be around that person! Now if you and your ex are friends it might be different, I just know me personally I’ve never been friends with an ex once...... that lady and I go our separate ways I don’t want to hang out with her at all
Kat Thomas Exactly 🤷🏻♀️
I agree with this one.
Sorry I don't agree its my opinion I just find it awkward and weird yea I would be happy for them but at the same time I can't just bleh its gonna be like when your mom marries your ex
Even if they are no longer together they have history, it's a form of respect.
Am with the lady in green! You don’t own people! The only person you in covenant and who you are bound to, is the one you marry
Riche Medley you're disgusting
@@blackbutterfly233ify _How?_ He's saying once you're married, your spouse (and family) should be your only concern. You have deeper issues if you find that disgusting.
MrEasyNah how???? Are you that dumb? I don't care if they broke up 20 years ago. Im not dating my friend or family member's ex. That is disgusting. There are so many people in this world you can be with if you put yourself out there. I had this situation happen. I ended up dating my cousin's ex and honestly the minute i found out, it was downhill for us. Now by this time my cousin moved on, got kids with someone else. But it's still uneasy to know you shared men. You can't be that desperate for a man
Alex Meggoe there's a whole lot disgusting about it
@@blackbutterfly233ify Explain how it's disgusting then. Cause at the moment, logic isn't on your side. If they were related to the person they are interested in, or if that person is a minor, then that would count as being disgusting. But all I'm hearing from you is that you are possessive and cant let the past go, and are therefore not fully committed to the person who you may currently be in a relationship with. If you can't explain, then you've proven my point.
The only thing I'd be mad about is having to see my ex again every time I see my friend lol
I think it depends on the relationship they had, I had similar experience. I dated a guy for about a month it wasn’t serious, felt like he wasn’t as into me before we started dating so I ended it. 2 years later, my friend reached out to me saying that they became close friends and it’s kind of turning into something but doesn’t want to explore it if I’m not okay with it. I told her look he wasn’t for me, it was nothing serious so I have no problem and won’t ruin what we have if you start dating him.
YOU ARE RIGHT, THAT IT DEPENDS ON THE RELATIONSHIP THEY HAD! Cause believe it or not some Ex's are as important to someone as the current ones, because of the beautiful memories and bonding created during the relationship. Some people, me included, remembers some moments vividly and love to fantasize about them with their ex. Now these are pretty romantic vivid memories that you wouldn't like to share or have to stop thinking about them because of your friends. So friends dating my ex is a no go zone for me. Cause I always remember something memorable about my ex's I wouldn't want friends to know or share about unless only I talk to them about it. And there is always a chance to want to touch that booty!!
That’s different. You and your ex were
never serious and your friend didn’t intentionally pursue your ex. They had a friendship with your ex that was slowing turning into something more. That’s an example that some things in life just happen and when it does you just have to go with it.
@@lynne709 I agree ,And she also asked first, the friend didn’t sneak around or go behind her back and plus the relationship ended 2 years before the friend started perusing him so it’s fine.
They dated for less than a week in my case, it's just a dilemma that I have crush on the person they dated even if it wasn't serious at all. But we'll see fr.
My best friend dated the girl I'm seeing 12 years ago and he still wants to end our friendship. I had no intention to date her, we were friends first and it recently became intimate. Sucks cause I've known them both for 20 years
I don’t understand this point of view. An ex is an ex...if you’ve married and moved on..it’s kind of an injustice to the current person you’re with to still harbor feelings for another person (an ex). I feel like women these days are all sorts of insecure and selfish.
Maybe an ex would be perfect for your friend.
Incredible.
Man it’s really difficult for folks to be real and authentic these days.
YourFavoriteTruthSayer X I 100 percent agree with you
So she was feeling your man when you two were dating! Would you be happy with your own sister dating your ex? Best friends are meant to be like your own sister
xalimo007 no because me and my sister are not in the same age group
+Aaliyah Griffin if she was, would you?
I feel like everybody missed the big picture of it altering trust.
I like how they make this about themselves. And the lady in green actually cares about other people's feelings
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
seems that you have done that to your friends
Other people's feelings? Find someone your family or friends haven't touched. There are too many other people out there.
I've never been attracted to any of my friends men. Ewwww. It's an automatic no. One of my gf hooked me up with this guy once and after we started dating she made it slip and told me she had sex with him before she introduced us.. Can I tell you I blew a lid? How dear she? I told it it was wrong of her to hook me up with somebody she had slept with and I stopped talking to the guy because it wasn't the same after that.
nicky rosey
me neither oh ewww
nicky rosey U r right. It's a no no. I don't understand how people can be wanting their friends man¿¿🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
sloppy seconds.
+sean parker Ikr? took the words right out of my mouth
She is not your friend. Why would she hook you up with someone she has had sex with? Nope.
If you value your friendships, give it six months to two years, depending on how serious they were. If your friend is cool about it, still give it a month. Good friends are hard to find and that gets worse as you age, so you want to keep them as long as possible.
Now, if you don't care about your friend, then do whatever.
You made a really valid point
ady 5 years
I personal don't care who my ex dates its not my business find someone and be happy. I really wouldn't care.
That's what separates men and women
Really wish someone I know would see it that way.
My friends can date any of my exs . I don't mind. I'm married and have moved on. I mean what if my ex is her soul mate😉
Sure about that? Even the EX that left you?? Would you than go on a Double date??
@@crystalanamericaninsicily yes I would. I want my friends to find happiness like i did.
@@amoramoleko8581 But you didn't find happiness with him. I would think my girlfriend was pretty desperate to Date my EX. And sorry...no way you could remain friends.
That never happened to you probably
Exactly! Why care?
Crazy how the two women on stage think that it's okay to be friends with their ex husband or ex-partner and be in a relationship and their partner has to accept it but changed her tune real quick if someone wants to date their EX
They're low class
Personally, I could care less, not every man treats every woman the same, so maybe with her he will be a different man than what he was with me, and if it works out, I am so very happy for her.
Nah
I think people are missing a point key word is best friend! If she is your best friend the downfall is that you probably want see them as much. As a man if you are my friend and started dating my ex....... I couldn’t be around you two, They are an ex for a reason...... and no longer wanted them in my life. So now unfortunately you won’t be in my life either! I’m a firm believer in always going forward
You don't have to hang out with both at the same time. You can still have boys nights.
Not all relationships end on a bad note. If you don't ever want your ex's in your life then that means YOU had bad experiences, but your experiences *are* not everyone's experiences. Some people have mutual agreements to stop dating and see other people.
That’s cool and all, but it’s not like you’re going to be single still while that happens, you already moved on with another person. Could’ve been years since you were with that ex.
i agree, the trust would def be altered. if im married then i would wish you well but i dont wanna be around you and my ex. cordial but we can't be best buds.
My best friend and I will NEVER date each other's ex!!!!
Amen
@🖤jazmin🖤 true friends know, some things and some people are off limits…period!!
Talk for yourself. Friends can be disappointing sometimes!🤢
@@theknashikah1528 I’m DEFINITELY speaking for MYSELF and nobody else so called friends!!
Best friend issa no, but acquaintance I say go for it but you probably won't be friends with that person anymore. I always say if you go that route, understand that the friendship won't remain the same (probably over). It's worth it if the person ends up being the love of your life, but if the guy was a dog he's probably gonna dog you out too and you'll lose a friend and have your heartbroken.
Joy A. If she and the ex just want to bang each other, do it without telling her. If she wants a relationship with him she should ask her friend if he's any good because he wants to talk to her but she doesn't want him if he's a dog. At that point she will have her friends blessing. She should never tell her friend she always liked her man. But if her friend has gotten married she should'nt give a F who her ex is with.
Joy A what the heck happened to Keri Hilson?! She don't sing anymore?!
Joy A yup true... now I'm with my bestfriend ex we are no long good friend bt who cares as long as the man want be with me and we about to get marriage in dha Allah life is good🙏🙏
It’s a hell no for me. I can’t date my friend’s ex or make any of my other friends that don’t know each other date the other ex
The answer is Heck NO!!! I agree, too many emotions are still attached to the "ex"!
And the point is not that I'm married now but the PRINCIPLE is that, you're going through my past (typically a painful one) and bringing it into my present and my presence. No. It's thoughtless & greedy. 6 billion people in the world!
Ms NoBuntu tell em again 👏🏾👏🏾
Right! So we're friends and hangout...now I have to expect to hangout with someone I wrote out of my life for X amount of reasons as well...heck naw!
Exactly!!! I’m not surprised a vast majority of ppl don’t get it. The morality is lacking....
Well, I would think if your girlfriend had a bad breakup with the person, it's a no no obviously. But if they ended on neutral or good standing, I don't see why it would be a problem for your girlfriend to date your ex if you have no attachments to him anymore. He may not have been your soul mate, but what if he's hers? Would you deny her a chance to find out?
I agree!
I say go right ahead! We’re just no longer friends but I hope it’s worth it. Enjoy!
That part!!!
The ex is an ex for a reason , don’t bring him back in the circle friend
I don't care about no circle!!!. That's an excuse for being thrifling. Don't date my ex if you're my friend. Get the hell out the circle and go find yourself a square. She's out her mind. Smh. That's betrayal , violation , and a forever side eye.
roc luxe I agree with you on that
“Find yourself a square.” LOL 😂😂😂.
Lol. Like seriously. Smh.
roc luxe sorry to intrude you don’t have to answer because I see you made the comment 2 weeks ago but let’s say you are married and you are happy in your marriage. Why should it matter if your friend starts to take an interest in your ex? Not trying to be rude or anything, I’m just curious because I’ve came across this discussion before but I was still quite baffled about the whole thing.
+Jemima Parker-Thomas the points were raised in the video. It's like the story of that girl who confided in her best friend, then her bf encouraged her to break it off with the guy only for her to start dating him. I personally don't trust no woman - today she wants your ex, tomorrow she'll aim for your husband
I’m just saying he’s my ex for a reason. If my best friend got with my ex, oh well I still love her like a sister. I’m sorry I’m not going to be mad because she inherited my old problem, I’m happy without him. No need to get mad, I don’t see the issue if you’re married and supposedly over your ex why do you care?
Natas Nico Ikr let her date him if she wants the woman is married now and also just because he and her didn't work doesn't mean they won't. most people learn from last relationship
I completely agree! Also “inherited my old problem” is hilarious... I’m gonna have to use that one. 😂
Basically she lost a friend to gain a potential boyfriend
Mind Your Own Its a mess
Now he gone leave her too
If your friend has an ego so big, that she cares about it, more than your happiness, is it really a loss?
Then you really weren't friends to begin with
I say roll the dice on love. She has hers. Moved on.. Right?
Why is Olivia from the bad girls club calling herself amber?? 😂😂😂
Girl I Just Came Here FromBGCTea That Kinda Make You Think Like Is This Segment Fake And She Lies So Much It’s Sad She Needs Help
Tiffani Penix sis! I was thinking the same thing as soon as I saw her lmao
Tiffani Penix I was literally scrolling through the comments to see if anybody else caught that cause I’m like I know for a fact this is Olivia
Latrice Burks Lol me too.
Right! I thought she was a lesbian.
Why would anyone want to date there friends ex boyfriend...
Nadine Shamoun A person that just don't care.
Nadine Shamoun maybe the ex treat ur friend better than you, don't try to hate on people being or finding love.
Not all exes are bad. Sometimes different goals so they part, feelings cooled, etc... but your friend always got along with them, their goals line with ex's and your friend, like you, has the same taste in an I individual (which is likely because friends tend to share similar traits in some way).
These are easy to understand reasons why a friend would want to date your ex with no ill intent.
But a friend who selfishly tells another friend they can't give love a chance with their ex because they dated them first? That's no friend.
cause she's always wanted him even when y'all were dating... creepy
@@quin6324 try again in English
i am with keri. Do not even think about it!
humming bird Exactly 👏👏👏
Then you are alone like Keri also. Any one who holds a person as property is cold hearted and a very sad soul.
@@reality144th Agreed
No wonder they are alot of single lonely women it's cause of this type of selfishness
Exactly
I really find appreciation from all of these comments. I thought I was the only one who thought it’s not okay for your friend to date your ex. If I’m trying to move on or it was a bad break up or we’re just not good for each other and your friend swoops in and starts dating her and it’s a friend you see all the time, more damage is being done.
It's not your concern. 8 can agree it's shady if the ex did something to you. But if not, then you can't use your feelings to tell them they can't have somone they work with
But she is happily married now.
That means they were plotting behind your back.
@@emmabell1587 Must’ve 🤷🏻♂️
advance apology for the novel.
if that is the case, i will ask my friends first what they think of this?,if we have different perception, upbringing, values. i would also let them know my perception, and if it happens that we have different values when it comes to that, and they didnt respected me when i already told them what i think about it ,and doesnt like and what my boundaries are (even if my significant other is not my ex yet, i dont want my friend to talk to my partner in secret is what i mean, they could have other friends too, or best friends, is what i mean), that my perception is different, and in return, i did the same for them, then, ill know if i was even respected nor i should even trusted this person from the start with this so called friend. i will already give them limits. meaning ill be blunt as ever from the start. and if they think im controlling, its not my problem anymore, since we will just argue anyway because we have a different opinion on that matter.
so does that mean, when i was still with this person, you became close? you were already talking with each other? thats weird. why is your significant other talking to your friend secretly to begin with when you were still together even if they are just friends, and when you guys broke up, they are still of course talking with each other still as friends,lol, until they just confessed to you, they are now together. does your ex and friend never have other friends? but your ex? lol. for me, even becoming close friends with my friends significant other is a no no! their significant other could also be my friends, but with boundaries, and when my friend is only present at the scene. and if they did broke up, then i myself have no reason to become friends with their ex as well. hi, and bye is most likely the case.
i asked one of my friend about this topic a year ago, and she said she doesnt mind at all, nor she would mind if i dated her ex (which i doubt at all, if i dated all her exes who is a billionaire , that she wouldnt be affected at all even if she is already dating someone else) i really doubt that. by the way she still talked about them,even when she is already with someone else. lol. and she just became friends with that girl when they broken up, not because she was was friends with that girl to begin with. lol.
some people just doesnt have that emotional intelligence to others.
but from what we have talked about, she feels that i am one of her trusted friend, while i myself, dont trust her when it comes to that part. even if it hasnt even occurred to us yet, (cause we still have different circles)
i feel that she was being a hypocrite. and its not her fault, its also not my fault. im still trying to save our friendship, even if she isnt trying to see it in my perception, then i would definitely would just try to avoid this things to happen.
some of my friends, even if we have the same perception, surprisingly enough, i know she was dating, but didnt even tried to let me meet their significant other on their dating stage, next thing i know, they are getting married, and you're the maid of honor, or the grooms man. even if im not close to their significant other. which is the technique i will do to everyone from now on. not because i dont trust my significant other, nor the friends who i know have the same perception about the exes thing for now. i just dont have the time for drama, or arguments of me being selfish. there is a saying, never let a snake into your house in the first place. never be too trusting with people. ive seen a lot of people whom they let a friend into their house, and that person didnt even know the snake you let in, were already inlove with each other with your significant other. hahahaha,
ive experience it from both perspective, my friends ex going after me, for many years, which i have been avoiding or never giving the time of the day
, my friends going after the person i want or they know is interested on me, lol, hahaha....
i never go after my friends exes. nor even tried to be their friend after their break up. im pretty sure, there are many fishes out there. i did have my social life back then, oh yeah, if its just a fling, or nothing serious, who cares if they dated someone who was interested on me first, or my date, lol. been there, done that as well, but doesnt mean, i also take this group of friends of mine seriously. cause its like a test for me.
my friend does that, she forgave our other friend who we didnt know had made out with her ex, but we just found out after they have broken up. but im the only one who knows she doesnt trust her 100 percent completely. lol. and yes, after 20 years, they are still close. hahahaha. but i call it plastic.
Amber ? That’s Olivia from bad girls club , the season with the sisters. Diamond played her sister.
Briana Ervin basically 💁🏻♀️
Briana Ervin RIGHT!!!-
As if lying about having a sister and cancer wasn’t enough, now she’s lying about her name too😂😂
Lack of emotional maturity. If you have moved on and both parties are attracted to each other. Why not? The only reason to block is you still have feelings for the person. And if you truly loved the person why would you block their potential happiness. We have to remember we do not have ownership over a persons happiness, emotions, attractions and feelings not even in marriage. Once something doesn't work. Move on stop holding on to the past.
I agree, and if I'm happily married I wouldn't care who my friend or ex dates
Just Me agreed
It depends...an ex is an Ex...I really don’t care about who my Ex is dating. And the fact that me and a person don’t work out, doesn’t mean they’re not gonna be great with someone else( that person could be my friend). I really don’t care
dabo usoekon I understand what your saying but not with your friend.
dabo usoekon true
je'suis Elle That's s same
je'suis Elle I said that's a shame
je'suis Elle Good for you thats the way you feel. 👏👏👏👏
This happened to at least 3 times, my girl friends went with my ex-boyfriends after me. At first it didn't bothered me, but as I got older and sit back and looked on my life past experiences, I just couldn't get over the fact that these women weren't really good friends. I still love my friends, but it's not right.
They probably secretly wanted what you had the whole time. It's called covetousness and a lot of people do that.
@@emmabell1587 facts
There are 7 billion ppl in the world go find you one ☝️ lol.
so true!
RIDICULOUS STATEMENT
That is true, but how many of them will you meet in a lifetime.
technically there are 3.5 billion men and to that you have to take off the liars, the cheaters, the ones that don't have a job, the dumb asses, the crazy mofos and if you're into handsome men you're screwed love. personally when i'm over a guy, i'm OVER him if one of my girls wants him then good for her if it bothers me then that would mean i still feel something for him, UNLESS it was one of those heartbreaking love stories that truly hurt you friend then of course it would be out of the question.
i just read a comment about best friend in this case of course not.
I don’t want my friend sloppy seconds. Not only that but most guys date a whole group of friend just to say that they been with you all . I’ll find my man .
Diann Valentine I absolutely think you have no idea the hurt that causes a relationship! I lost my best friend to her doing exactly what that lady was asking... it sucks and Keri and Kimberly is absolutely hitting every nail on the head ALL those thoughts went through my head when my friend dated and married my ex whom I had been with for years its not cool and what about the love of a friend does that not matter ...anyways this topic definately hit home for me and I'll end by saying this...LADIES ITS NOT COOL TO DATE YOUR FRIENDS EX,,,AND IF SO GET PREPARED TO LOSE THAT FRIEND
JasMontrell It is very hard to find someone that you can fall in love with these days, especially if you're an introvert. If my friend falls in love with someone I used to date, I will feel uncomfortable but learning to get over it it is a sacrifice that I make so that my friend can find happiness. If you can't think that way about your friend's happiness then maybe your friend dodged a bullet by losing your friendship. Its not really worth much.
I agree with you. I think it’s weird
If Diann has no problem with her friend dating her ex, then there is no hurt. The friendship should remain intact. Don’t date the guy then get mad at your friend. I’m not sure where the logic is coming from if she said she doesn’t have an issue with it.
JasMontrell I agree
Antonne Turner 😂😂😂smh
I'm a guy and I couldn't. It's against bro code. There's so many girls out there and it weird thinking that I am dating and kissing etc someone that my best friend was.
so now every time i see my girlfriend ...i have to see my ex....
I agree with Kim & Keri I wouldn't be able to trust my so called friend anymore the friendship dynamic would be terrible cause you wouldn't be able to come talk to me about him It'd be different if it was someone I just dated yeah you can date them but someone I was actual in relationship with I'd have to give you the ultimate side eye every time I see you cause I would feel like you always gotten a hidden agenda if you liked him why am I just hearing about this after we broke up if we're suppose to be good friends it's one thing to think he cute and a whole other to wanna be with him
if you date or marry one of your exes friend, i wouldnt be friends with this person for suree, you cant coexist with that person anymore no matter what
If I was your friend and you couldn't learn to be happy for me for finding love with your ex, then I'm happy to have you out of my life because it means that our friendship isn't worth enough to you.
Amaravi They feel that way because they aren’t over their ex.
Natas Nico That's probably a correct explanation for why they *feel* that way. But the reason why they *act* that way in ending a friendship is because they're not a very good friend. Also, if they can't move on from their ex, then maybe its because in the back of their mind they're keeping their ex on layaway. Maybe deep down they hope that their ex will change and there might be a chance for them to start over.
fatloveful Why is this?
in most cases -
U can be attracted to your friends significant other but trying to sleep with them or dating them is a no no!!!!
That's not the situation they brought up.
One person's trash can be another person's treasure! If I couldn't or didn't want to appreciate what I had in someone, then I need to let it go completely. I can't get mad at my friend or the next woman who found what I got rid of.
And what if they got rid of you
@@MelePaasi shes right hater..
Is it really that hard to love that you have to start dating your friends ex’s?????!!!!!!!!!! 🤷🏽♀️ I know to much about my friends ex’s to not ever want to date them. How about that part?!!!
If you look at the statistics people date who’s in their immediate vicinity people meet potential spouses from work or friends or people in your immediate circle and don’t use the excuse of “there’sbillions of people out there” Because you’re not gonna meet someone in France if you don’t speak French you’re not gonna speak Chinese so you can’t meet someone in China etc. and most adults can’t even travel to other states because they have responsibilities so you’re bound to your immediate circle
I wouldn’t date my ex. Like come on, especially if he was bad to her. Either way it’s just tacky really. Like there’s other guys out there
Exactly... he was already in our lives why does he need to be reintroduced... let him go find another family to join unless you want to join him... then by all means goodbye and goodluck... (thankfully I don't have them problems)
You can date my ex no problem be sure to be my ex friend too . Because ain’t nobody got time for guy to hear about your relationship . Trust will be gone and if you only like left overs girl go for it and exit my life real quick..
Who says they will hear about your relationship ? And by that logic everyone is left overs then
My brother is married and he actually gave me the number of his ex because he feels his best friend deserve that ex.
Fortune Fortune That’s true! I told mutual friends that I didn’t want to hear about my ex ever again. Guess what my “friend” was constantly doing before I found out she was “talking” to my ex? She didn’t know boundaries, man.
@ lol what about people who havent dated?
Twisted values, you have no clue what a friend is. Also leftovers? FLASH NEWS girl, you are HIS leftovers most likely.
She said she's always had a crush on her ex. Which means it goes back from the time that her friend and the guy were dating. Hell naw, you gotta watch those types of women point blank
A crush that she never acted on... and is even considering her friend's feeling before deciding whether or not to date him.... sounds like a great friend to me
bxcinderella literallyyyy
I believe there are nuances. EG " Ex breaks up with me and the week or a month after goes out with my best friend". That would be suspicious. However if I'm " happily married" for 5 years to someone else. Im out of line if I get upset at that.
Hell no. I would never date my friends ex. That's just sick.
true 😔
If your friend ever been attracted to your exes, keep your eyes open she will be coming after your man.
Agatha Ngenzirabona PREACH
Agatha Ngenzirabona ...if your wife still has any feelings for her ex, I'm divorcing her
thats dumb coz you cant tell me none of your friends found ur date hot that would be dumb
If she cared about you enough to not make make a move on him then you should care enough about her and let her find potential happiness. This is just selfish, especially if you're married.
@@user-gg2eh8ni9b so if your mom dates your ex and got married to him you will be happy for her knowing your ex is now your step dad :")
Life is too short date whoever makes you happy as long as their not someone’s husband/wife. Thankyou
How can you call yourself my friend when your with somebody that possibly hurt and mistreated me. Where is the loyalty? I might be over it but there is such a thing as loyalty otherwise we ain't friends.
I am here for yall (Keri and Kimberly), yall preachin... :-) Couldn't agree more!
If you're the type of ex that I can't stand to have in my life, I don't want you to be with my friend. However, if you're an ex that has long become a platonic friend go ahead and date my friend.
Either way, my girlfriend, you will receive the side eye! Since when have you wanted what I had👀
There are not that many single people in this world and some people run in small circles. If there is no cheating involved and people have moved on....feelings develop and undevelop all the time. You can like someone and get over them. On the other hand, you can know someone casually for years and then one day something sparks or God talks to you and you realize that this is the person he meant for you all along. If there is no cheating involved and the person did not try to get with your man when you were together...just realize feelings develop or grow. It is normal. You can see someone after some years when God has prepared you and suddenly have the feelings come over you one day out of the blue. You can fight the feelings; but, if it is God's plan it will happen no matter how you try to fight it. It is not that complicated to where you have to think the feelings were always there. I had a friend of mine date my ex and I was happy for them because I had moved on and realize that he was not the one for me.
“ since when have you wanted what I wanted” You realize your ex is a human being right and other people are going to find them attractive right?
Friends are friends because they have things in common and it’s normal to even have similar taste in men in common. I’d say maybe a friend can admire the qualities of a guy you’re with and then when you guys are over that admiration turns into something else. It’s something not even you can control. If all goes well, say she loses your friendship and he’s a great guy and they marry and create a family. This new family will be so happy that they will even include YOU in their prayers because that’s how it all started thankful that they met because of you…. And maybe one day when their children ask how their parents met… they will start off with “mommy had a friend long long ago that daddy was dating” and guess what? The kids will say “eewwww” it will be something of the past something funny something so insignificant yet so important because there they will be loving these new little humans with their entire heart. More than they ever loved YOU but thankful that because of you it happened.
He ain’t *yours* unless you’re married.
I have been asked this question before n my response was the same as Keri’s hell no.
Why? You're married. What's the problem?
Sounds like insecurity to me
For me I have experienced knowing people who can not allow there friend to date an ex thinks more with there heart in a relationship, people who usually see it the opposite like in this situation thinks more with there mind in a relationship.
I understand both sides. I also understand you can't help who you fall in love with. Me personally I won't do that for that's a line I won't cross. If my friend wants me to date her ex then ok
It’s not okay for me. Your friends are going to share to you some secrets with their relationship before, then all of a sudden you’re going to date your friends’ ex? I agree that there's a lot of guys out there so why not try to find someone else instead of the ex-boyfriend of someone close to you.
Often times what you look for in a friend is similar to what you look for in a man. So you might date a guy, you're not compatible but he sure seems similar to your friend. Now your friend would never consider dating him, or see him that way because he is yours. But years later if they meet up and get together should they not act upon it? You knew from the get go they would go well together. Why be upset. I think it depends on the situation.
A mature person could handle it
Diane Collier Yep. And an immature person would have to take it too. I think if the friend came to the other friend and stated their interest honestly, while still expressing how much they loved and respected their friend and friendship, it could work. They both should be truthful if they are true friends. While nobody grown has to explain themselves or to ask for permission or approval, talking like civilized people can help.
@@legslipsandlashes9831 Exactly, if you are honest and they are broken up. If your friend says she does not want him anymore...and you have developed an attraction why not...don't be sneaky and do stuff behind their back or break people up...not that is just dirty the cheating part.
I agree with the blonde lady, that's exactly how I would start to think
That's insecurity talking.
Keri is soo beautiful omg❤️😍
A disaster waiting to happen. What if your ex catches feelings again or never really stopped & now its awkward everytime the friend brings the ex around because of whatever happened in the past? Maybe you don't want your ex back or have feelings for them but that doesn't prohibit them from it. It's risky in my opinion and not worth it
Once urs is not always urs.. its was once urs..
Why do you want my leftovers.....no no no...
Rochelle Love Right left overs
Rochelle Love another man's trash is another man's treasure girl bye...u don't own that man
Rod Williams I understand what your saying but at the same time a friend is a friend and she's sleeping with left overs. Your saying that you break up with your ex.
celeste matthews jealousy! At its finest!
Rochelle Love you only angry because you still have feelings for him/her
What no one took into account was what if that girls ex hurt her emotionally/psychologically/physically or she had was dumped ( or had dump him due to some form of hurt). Every time she sees him, beyond the fact that her BFF broke the sis code, it would kill her because wouldn’t it remind her of the hurt he put her through? You can be married but still have been through things in the past and just because you’ve moved on doesn’t mean you’ve not got scars from it; idk.
I feel like the people saying it’s okay are either very single and have never really been in love with anyone or both. Because if you’ve loved someone and thought they were the one for you and they broke your heart, you would not want to see them around and with your friend. Period.
It only hurts if you still care.
also if you think your friend being together with your ex "hurts" you when you are already happy with your man/girl, then you have issues.
It’s happened to me and i still think it’s okay. Don’t assume things. If u still feel bothered after ur friend dating ur ex after years then ur still not over ur ex, if u were u wouldnt care one single bit. If ur friend is dating ur ex after a recent break up then i understand though if it’s been years u fr need to grow up and be happy with ur new love or urself
@@sugarhiccup2584 exactly
I believe it is based on maturity. It is natural for a person to still have feelings with somebody after they breakup. That is ultimately a soul tie. It is also okay if you no longer want to be friends with that person who wants to date your ex. I believe it depends on the two people involved. If my friend dated my ex and I still have feelings for that ex then I’d be hurt. If there were no feelings toward that ex, then too me it would still be a little weird. Me personally I’d never date my friends ex. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
1st off, if the friend is now married and you still have a crush on the ex, answer me this: do you have his number? Do you know where he lives? Do you see him on the regular? Did he/you hop in the DMs? Are you friends on social media? What kind of feelings are you harbouring? You can only have a crush on someone if their presence is frequent. What's up, friend? Give me the tea. *She brite, bad bad.*
PRIN Minty yass
She should never get married if that was the case but work it out with her ex it's very disrespectful to her husband and is considered as emotionally cheating
PRIN Minty where are you from the last part of what you said sound like somewhere in the Caribbean 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Lol I sense a little Caribbean in this
Lol idk you but ik you from the islands cuz i said the same thing 😂
It's simple. Never date the guys that have dated your friends and never date the friends of guys that you've dated.
Why not? If you're married and happy, it shouldn't bother you.
@@qmulus1 its about respecting friendships
@@adityamakwana612 It still shouldn’t bother you if you’re married. Why get in the way of a friend’s potential happiness. There’s nothing respectful about that. That’s just selfish.
@@qmulus1 its not about ex its about current friendship so the fact that you are married is not relevant
@@qmulus1 i wont ever come in between them they can do what they want just that i would do what i want.friendship and relationship work on trust
Hell no, respect the friendship.... chose your own mam
Lisa Sylvester it's nothing to do with the friendship
he's not yours anymore. What do you mean choose your own man?
My friend dated a guy I set her up with for a few months. He was great to her. She cheated on him 3x with 3 different guys.
I helped her out while she was going they a break up and I supported her when she had nowhere to go. They both pretty much stayed with me that summer and all 3 of us were inseparable. We became best friends
When I needed someone’s and was going thru a bad time she went”ghost” she broke up with him also.
Him and I were friends and went to high school together.
I tex him and he answered, we started hanging out and we were together for 4 years. We were crazy in love. It didn’t all work out, but under all the circumstances I don’t think I did anything wrong.
"OKAY" 😂😂😂
That’s not your friend. Cut her off and let her be happy.
The point of the fact of the matter is ... (lmbao )you can’t call your self my friend and your friendship compass is off .... period! PS I love Kerri’s energy !
I dated one of friends ex before he dated years back. I talked to him about it and he gave me his blessing. We dated and was together for 3 years and stay in touch now.
It’s just friend code period n that’s the problem today nobody knows real friendship something you don’t do
Ya a real friend would give blessings if their friend found love, not cut them off because they are dating their ex. Especially if they have married someone else. So ya nobody knows what love is nowadays. It's just selfishness and getting feelings hurt.
@@hudder92 what if you and the friend aren't that close?
sara deen If you consider them a friend, that’s close enough.
My ex can date anyone she want's Im married why would I care who she dates
If the situation disrupts your “peace” then all you can do is just put that friend on the “ Acquaintance” list. I wouldn’t want to associate with that friend like you used to anymore. Especially since your “best friend” knew your boundaries and intentions ahead of time.
For me it depends on the guy, we all have that ex that we are not completely over so if you are my girl you should know them and stay away form them, also everything must be out in the open like you should ask your friend if she is ok with you dating her ex, and make sure that the guy is worth risking your friendship over.
Steve Harvey's a genius... Put four woman on the panel and you don't have to say a word. They'll cackle on forever
Ain't that the girl that lied on bgc about having stage 3 cancer and faked having a sister. Hmm
Miss She yes it is
Same thing I was thinking I was like ain’t her name Olivia
Isn't that Olivia from BGC 15 🤔
Dominique Reynolds yup she a nut 😂😂😂
We women have a thing called girl code and that is never date our ex period
Wow Keri and Steve, I'd love to shake your hand,, big fan here from Vanuatu, South Pacific. God bless you, much love
Can we all just take a minute to acknowledge how STUNNING Keri looks 😍
Friends are friends because they have things in common and it’s normal to even have similar taste in men in common. I’d say maybe a friend can admire the qualities of a guy you’re with and then when you guys are over that admiration turns into something else. It’s something not even you can control. If all goes well, say she loses your friendship and he’s a great guy and they marry and create a family. This new family will be so happy that they will even include YOU in their prayers because that’s how it all started thankful that they met because of you…. And maybe one day when their children ask how their parents met… they will start off with “mommy had a friend long long ago that daddy was dating” and guess what? The kids will say “eewwww” it will be something of the past something funny something so insignificant yet so important because there they will be loving these new little humans with their entire heart. More than they ever loved YOU but thankful that because of you it happened.
HELL NO!!!! Then you were never my friend if you are "attracted" to my ex!!! Cause later you gonna want my husband too!!
Not really, they could marry the ex that you did not want. people are too insecure. My friend dated an ex and I did not know until she had and I was ok with it. I only dated him for a week. If your friend is sneaky and does stuff behind your back or cheats...then yeah...I would see the problem. If they are honest and tell you they have developed an attraction, then they respect you and you need to understand and respect where they are coming from....
Is that how you get down? Did you steal dudes from your friends in the past? If not, why do you assume others would?
This is real. This reminded me of my Beta bestfriend.
before me and my Ex got together I realised that my old best bud who I was friends with since my childhood for 15 yrs in person ,knew each other and he knew her as a mutual contact on Social Media, when I dumped her, he jumped right in and got with her and he knew that I dated her after a couple of months and said nothing after I moved house.
This to me? broke every bit of respect for my friend and I completely outed him from my life because I don't need them BS friends who pick up your breadcrumb trails and take advantage of that situation.... they're still together after 1 year but still feel burnt from him, never spoke to him since that happened.
Isn't the world such a small place?
So for Bro Code, you gotta ask permission. If you are married to someone else, YOU HAVE NO SAY SO BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED AND HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
Word
I don't care married or not If I cut somebody out of my life relationship or friend wise they are cut off. Them worming them way back into my life through other people is no go and those people will get cut off to. Why would I move somebody out of my life purposefully and then let them come back into my life.
@@crispri3919 Because you _are_ hypothetically married now, meaning you have better, less petty things like that to worry about.
@@MrEasyNah Being married isnt some magic slate that removes past human emotions.
@@crispri3919 No, but time should be. As in, the time it took to date, connect, get serious, get engaged, and then get married to someone else. Something's wrong if you're still that raw over an ex after all that.
It’s a double edged sword. I’m going through this with one of my best childhood friend of 30 years, on one hand I don’t care cause I had no intentions of going backwards so I told her to go for it. But now she’s calling me telling me about stuff I care not to know about between them, and now every time she talks about him all I can see is all the sex we had and where lol. IT’s getting awkward and I just don’t want to talk anymore I’m not jealous or anything I wish her/ them the best, I’m having issues with the trust between me and her is tainted because me personally I would never put her in this position. I can’t hang out at her house no more because it feels awkward. And I don’t trust that he won’t try an flirt with me again which has happen a few years back when he saw me and that was after 10 plus years of not seeing each other and I told him then that I was in a relationship. I tried to see both sides the crazy thing is not only is she messing with him but she’s has like 3 other dudes on the roster lol so it’s not that she was lonely and found love with him he’s just now apart of the roster. I feel It’s time to move on.
Yasssss Keri !! I agree with you 100%
I agree with the lady in green. You are done with that person so why care who they end up with. And Steve just because you told your boy the lady is crazy for you don't mean that she's crazy for him. He might like her that way. Once we are done with a person they can date whoever they want. You can't hold people.
@RRY PHILL ....I'm not speaking of close family. But you may find out at a family reunion that your 3rd or 4th cousin is now dating someone you dated. Nothing you can do. And why be upset? But I'm speaking of other people. If a girlfriend of mine want to date a guy I dated in the past I don't care. May the force be with her. They are in my past for a reason. Keep it moving!
so is this fake because that's clearly olivia from the bad girls club not no damn amber
Ciera Jamison yuppppppp
Ciera Jamison amber😂😂😂😂
what? 4 real oh wow , oh, "ah ha" hope not!
I’ve always had so many options with men I never had to consider a friends ex as an option or even someone who is a friend of my friend. If I hung out with you and your man more than 3 times, I can’t ever consider him an option. But for more unattractive, introverted people I guess they don’t feel like they have other options. Sad.
If u married, u have nothing to say lol
Idc she better be prepared for HEARTBREAK