How I really feel about being autistic

[@TylaGrant]

obvy if you're stuggling reach out for help
Places to contact in this thread - twitter.com/gurlstalk/status/950707988976816135

[@almetas_grandbaby]

I felt this. I felt this. I FELT this. LORD KNOWS I felt this.
Feeling constantly exhausted. Feeling tired, feeling overwhelmed.
Yes! Life doesn't account for people with different brains.

[@TylaGrant]

Its a challenge!

[@neurodivergentme]

Real talk- I appreciate the chaos of this video because that’s what my life feels like more often than not. Kudos for prioritizing feeding yourself 😘

[@TylaGrant]

hahah honestly, as i was editing I was like theres acutelly nothing i can do to make this less chaotic... this is my life

[@ane3sha]

a lot of our thoughts align!! something i'd written in my journal that i came across yesterday-- i think i'm sue of cider by nature because living life really just doesn't feel good most of the time and i'm not as into perseverance as a lot of others. I've felt this way since being a young kid-- i'm persevering in a world built to neglect me and i'm exhausted, in a ton of pain, its extremely hard and i'm not going to kms but i'd be lying if i said i genuinely wanted or looked forward to doing this every day. it sucks to live like this and it sucks that we can't talk about it candidly.

[@TylaGrant]

Thats the thing like would I act on it... probs not. but does it consume my thoughts when Im not busy... always yes

[@torin8871]

When you said "I think am I actually suicidal" same, I often wonder if I'm actually depressed or I'm just lying to myself or something. I wonder if everybody doesn't feel the way I do. If everybody isn't just faking being happy.

[@TylaGrant]

"If everybody isnt just faking being happy" THAT PART

[@stanfatou2002]

I swear ik so suicidal it's crazy. I know one day I will commit. But I'm always to tired to try

[@_sofie]

I related to this so much. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability.

[@TylaGrant]

You're welcome 💖

[@carolinemanley9216]

Thank you for making this video and being so open and honest with your experience. I’m an autistic woman and wife raising an two children(one is autistic child and the other isn’t) and life is not a cake walk. It’s awesome to see that there are other people out there like me and that I’m not alone in the feelings I feel. Keep on keeping on. Praying for you today.💜

[@TylaGrant]

You too Caroline, God Bless 💖

[@beepboop9976]

I'm a year late to this, but I jus found you on my recommended. I'm also autistic and im kind of glad to find out I'm not the only one who gets anxious must-go-now-poops.

[@TylaGrant]

Not late at all! Glad you’re here

[@oluwashubomik]

Someone that actually looks like me: black woman who's also autistic

[@TylaGrant]

we exist!

[@janaeclarke136]

Right?!?!

[@naturalscratcher9498]

​@@janaeclarke136🤯🤡🤡🤡

[@nappkins9346]

Don't know if you've tried the likes of imodium for your sh*ts even the cheap own brand versions work. Such a relief watching this video, to see someone that feels the way I do. I sadly think suicidal thoughts and autism come hand in hand. I really feel modern life is to blame in a lot of ways. Even 50-60 years ago life was much quieter and it was more acceptable to have a solo life n have a quiet interest focused job most of which are now obsolete. Things like signal man on the railways etc you'd get your own house with the job n you were just on your own not surrounded by people. You'd then be free to be around others when you saw fit or wanted to. Don't think life as a whole from education to work environments are fit for purpose anymore they only provide a healthy environment for a tiny proportion of people now hence the "mental health" epidemic. Sorry to ramble. I work for a major UK retailer n it's funny how much these companies and people as a whole go on about diversity and inclusiveness when the average person has zero perception of what it even begins to mean to be different. Hope you are doing better this week, I always find you so inspiring Tyla. Take care. X

[@TylaGrant]

No need to be sorry. Thanks for sharing your insights

[@rodariusshakur9851]

So thankful for your transparency!! I feel like I'm the only one who feels like this. Exhausted by it all. Frustrated by it all.

[@TylaGrant]

We may be in the minority but we're not alone x

[@hannerz777]

Thank you for your vulnerability and authenticity 🙏

[@TylaGrant]

Honestly no point making videos without it

[@Sofia-ng7wh]

I feel this and it’s been weighing on me recently. Thanks for talking about it :)

[@TylaGrant]

Sorry you’re going through this too, you’re not alone tho

[@iNKOGNiiTO11]

ur vidz make me feel a lot better 🌬

[@TylaGrant]

I'm so glad they do

[@ryn2844]

that's insanely relatable. I have those same thoughts.

[@TylaGrant]

Sorry youre experiencing this too

[@hollypotter1424]

Thank you for sharing ☺️ and the meal looks amazing!

[@TylaGrant]

Thanks Holly! It tasted decent

[@Dayglodaydreams]

I’ve wished I were not autistic. I also feel I am behind in life.

[@janaeclarke136]

Hey ur amazing. Dont wish for anything different

[@StrawmnMcPerson]

You're brilliant 💛💛💛

[@TylaGrant]

hahah I try

[@fideovilm8448]

This is my favourite video of yours. I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad x

[@TylaGrant]

I felt a bit better for a few days after this, just part of the ups n downs of managing mental health in an over stimulating works I guess

[@Dayglodaydreams]

I’ve felt this before.

[@nutellaplaysx]

love the honesty and vulnerability you show in your beautiful videos!

[@TylaGrant]

I try, thank you for watching

[@archanglemercuri]

Dear Tyla, I experienced a type of relatable relief when you mentioned visiting the museum. Ive been planning to visit the museum here in Utah for…about 3 years now. Heh’ Thank you for mentioning that. (Still planning)

[@archanglemercuri]

Also, we only have one body that deteriorates anyway, goods on you for doing whatever you would in physical self care, as well as, mental health care.

[@TylaGrant]

Im going to try and visit on alone this weekend, its busy but quite peaceful because everyones busy looking at the art. not at each other

[@archanglemercuri]

@@TylaGrant i realize…there’s was a delay in seeing how wonderful it is but…i have been making art/decoding lots art & information lately; feeling grateful. Although…not yet been in a museum. Have you gone?

[@chukabucka]

Just discovered your channel. Your content is real and great ... thanks for uploading. Keep it up! You're repping 🙌 ✊ - learning a lot from it 🙏

[@TylaGrant]

Thank you! Im actually in the process of deciding what to make for the year. Any suggestions? or topics you'd want me to cover?

[@chukabucka]

@@TylaGrant thanks for replying. I've got an 11 year old daughter who was diagnosed last August. We're all trying to normalise our home and tell her it's just a way that her brain works. She totters between acceptance and not wanting to be different/masking etc. If you could do content on adolescence, how you came to terms or embraced your diagnosis, things you would have loved to know as soon 11 year old girl ... so I could show her someone who looks like her and how it's possible to do great things. Puberty (sensory issues e.g. period, hair growing, cramps etc) going from primary school to high school re: friends, taking things literally, brushing teeth, hair and any techniques you use ... interfacing with neurotypical kids , making friends, etc. I know this is a lot! But it's where we're at and so any content on any of that stuff would help for young ones. 🙏 thank you very much for your reply 🇹🇹🙌💫

[@joeydendron]

I hope you're feeling better, hope you get chance to take things easy and recharge. I loved the moment you described the video as chaos, I watched it basically like it was a professionally directed documentary. Amazing. Thanks for posting.

[@TylaGrant]

Getting there slowly, kinda realised Im burntout as well as having autism burnoute every now and then

[@AyshBanaysh]

I love this video! Your content is so relatable I could scream 😂 it definitely makes me judge myself less so thank you for sharing!
I also love a one tray veg dinner but i add sausages on the tray too

[@TylaGrant]

Same!! I just didn’t have any this week

[@dorkafasolka2110]

sorry to hear your desk was taken :(

[@TylaGrant]

It’s all good! These things happen

[@dorkafasolka2110]

@@TylaGrant I wouldn't be so kind myself as I get very bad anxiety attacks if anyone changes smallest details of my routine,but if you say so....maybe you are more accepting or flexible?

[@leeannjuday]

❤️

[@TylaGrant]

💖

[@ayses3851]

💜

[@TylaGrant]

💖

[@AutisticRebbetzen]

Would it help your aloneness practice to get virtual companions to go places where you feel awkward going by yourself? Like you go to a gallery and video chat someone who is somewhere else? Maybe even another gallery so you can compare? I feel like this must be a thing.

[@TylaGrant]

It wasn’t the awkwardness of going alone it was the ‘fear’ of the unknown. I feel like most galleries have a common practice and social rules around how to move through the space and it was great to do that for the first time with someone.

[@Feminazi1dc]

Tyla what was this job you had? was it manageable as an autistic person?

[@TylaGrant]

The same one I have now, Im a creative strategist

[@markl4112]

Once?? At least 27 times.

[@dorkafasolka2110]

hi,I have got a question.Not related to content of this vlog .What are Your living arrangements please?I am on the spectrum and got absolutley no idea how to go about it,where to turn to,who to speak and stuff.Would You be so kind and maybe share Your experience please?
Thank You very much in advance for any help.

[@TylaGrant]

I’ll make an updated video on it this month. I used to have one but things have changed

[@dorkafasolka2110]

@@TylaGrant thank you,cant come soon enough...best wishes

[@aquatius5]

Yeah, I used to think "Well it's not s*icidal ideation if I'm thinking it calmly". But then it's like OK but I'm sitting here choosing to calmly think about death??? bit sketchy tbh
also i'm sorry but i wailed in laughter at you having to crouch in the tate to avoid shitting

[@TylaGrant]

Lol yeah just a bit sketchy

[@stolensilver5811]

Want a kebab now

[@TylaGrant]

hahah have one!