PART 1: Why I DEtransitioned - School Indoctrination
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- Опубликовано: 2 авг 2024
- I was born a female, a healthy baby girl. I was made to believe that I wanted to be a boy. So, I cut my hair, changed my name and took testosterone. A drug that stops ovulation and decreases estrogen in the female body leaving sometimes permanent and irreversible changes.
TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Intro
1:39 Why did I want to be a boy?
18:01 The Process & Medical Malpractice
I am still editing a second part where I go into my health and what lead to my detransition.
Thank you so much for listening to my story.
Twitter:
/ jaderants (DEtrans stuffs)
/ ttvatreuz (Regular stuffs)
Twitch: / atreuz
Instagram: / prncssjadee
#detransition #womanhood #politics #storytime
I am so so sorry. When I was in elementary school I had 0 desire to even touch any boys. I remember some kids kissed on the playground and it was the grossest thing in the world. I also felt that love was fairytales. Children deserve innocence.
That was before puberty, right? If that continued after puberty, it could be you're asexual or homosexual and not heterosexual.
@@tomsmith6513 Before puberty.
@@tomsmith6513 lol I'm honestly the complete opposite from when I was a little girl. I used to want a boyfriend so much all the time but now I hate the idea of having a boyfriend. Boys honestly gross me out I want nothing to do with them.
@@abduwalimuse7482 ok . . . what about girls? Do you like girls?
I have a feeling that these people in school who bullied you were actually very jealous of you because of your REMARKABLE physical beauty, and what made it easy for them to get away with bullying you is the fact that you were very shy, and incredibly nice. Not sure if you realize this, but you are super model beautiful, like Christy Turlington, Cindy Crawford beautiful, and I can only imagine how jealous they must have been.
This seems to always be the case. I remember in middle school we had this one girl there that was extremely shy. She was also absolutely stunning, even at an awkward middle school age. She got bullied ruthlessly. My friend and I tried to befriend her but she was unfortunately nearly mute and so shut off from others ): I hope she is okay now, I feel she obviously went through something very difficult. But again, I do think the bullying was solely because she was beautiful and shy.
People hate others because they see something they themselves lack.
Haha aw thank you sm! I never saw it as jealousy growing up because I didn’t understand how jealousy could drive someone to be directly cruel to someone they’re jealous of
@@Cashhhhew Aw🥲 I understand that so well. Of course there were sweet kids like you and the occasional friend but bullying does cause and/or worsen social anxiety
I swear it's always the pretty little girls who are bullied the worst. Every woman I've dated has been mercilessly picked on for being "too skinny" or "too tall" or whatever feature which actually makes them beautiful. It's awful what girls do to each other as kids.
Agree. It's always the beautiful females (on the inside and outside) who get it the worst. I don't know why that is.
@@transitionsnc It’s parents not teaching their children how to control their jealousy
@@jaderants I agree, but it's deeper than that.
I'm very sorry that all the adults around you failed you so badly (innocently or otherwise)!
I'm a Combat U.S. Marine, and the reason I say this is because I want you to REALLY understand what I say next.
I think that you are incredibly BRAVE for being willing to come out and tell your story to the public... to help girls (and their parents), to better understand what's going on... and what's being pushed on them at a very young age!
I think your beauty is both on the inside and outside... and I really hope that you find your Prince Charming that takes you to the Ball, have your princess (daughter), and your happily ever after life that you've always wanted (without any more drama)!
We need to get the adults in our children's days to stop the affirmation #TerminologyIsImportant
Your story means so much to me as I am a detransitioner/desister. It genuinely takes alot of time and bravery to speak about this topic as it is seen as controversial nowadays.
I relate to so many aspects of your story such as the pressure to medically transition due to a certain environment or the fact that alot of us are pressured to grow up too quick;
I was born and rasied in the middle east, I decided to socially transition at the age of 13 due to how embedded I was with social media and how i rarely had any friends irl. I was also struggling with accepting the fact I was a lesbian who happens to be in a middle eastern country, so I sub consciously decided to take the toll of transitioning to finally love women in the "acceptable way".
I can just say that my trans years (which took me 5-6 years to detransition from) felt like a years worth of a psychosis episode due to how foggy and left out i was during my teenage years. None of the things I went through was truly thought out, it was just childish pickering between myself and my desires, and this pressure to medically transition to be the perfect "form of happy".
Wow and to think I thought I would be the only one to detransition when I did. Every teen girl wants to stop being uncomfortable. It’s not right that T was being marketed as the cure to every bad feeling
@@jaderants the false called "gay" flag... was a symbolic chakras flag STOLEN from the spiritual scientific community.
each color reffers to a electromagnetic field in our body system (our body is a SYSTEM)
politics and religions created this false narratives about a "LGBTTTQHDSDJSJDJJ! community as a way to AVOID people's natural spiritual awakening journey!!!! The pills, hormones and psiquiatric drugs, are all designed to DESTROY our PERFECT GLAND-HORMONAL system!!!!! Specially our PINEAL, PITUITARY and HYPOTHALAMUS glands!!!!! Vaccines ar part of the conspiracy, too!!!
The duality (genetics) of SPIRIT (matter, matrix, material, existence, cosmos) has nothing to do with RELIGIONS/CULTS!!!
GENDER = GENESIS = GENETICS (and there is only ONE gender! As HUMANS we are ALL X-MEN. MEN and WO-MEN)
There is only TWO PERFECT BODY SHAPES that comes from the ONE GENDER/GENESIS/GENETICS: The Phi-Male body shape, and the Male body shape.
Males = Fe-Males (are equals!!!) just the SHAPE is the difference! Why? Because the need of CO-CREATION and CO-OPERATION and CO-LABORATION (CO-WORKING). For how long MALE and FE-MALES need each others? Just for the CO-PULATION momentum! Once the FE-MALE got pregnant...GENESIS is growing inside of her and she is in the process of EVOLVING and PROMOTING the HUMAN SPECIE (she needed the other body part of her own GENDER to Co-Create another one from the SAME specie/gender). The NEWBORN (in normal terms) could be GENDER male shape or GENDER female shape, Newborns can be ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, but... in normal terms, (without vaccines, pills, hormones, venoms, introduced since 1.800) a FE-MALE can have ONE or TWO (she's got two breast to feed the children/child).
SEXUALITY? It is just ONE... and it is a FEELING (pleasure) and also a NEED (conservation of the specie). So FE-MALES are more (not exclusively) connected with the cycles... sometimes she doesn't feeel or need having sex/copulation. Sometimes FE-MALES needs to feel pleasure. The control over SEXUALITY (why, when, with who) is a RELIGIOUS-POLITICS program!!! If they control your SEXUAL ENERGY they control your mind, thoughts, guilt, frequencies, etc. That's why THEY prohibited ORAL SEX, MASTURBATION and ANAL-SEX!!!! And also they prohibited (but they DID IT and THEY DO IT!!! behind the scenes and even with CHILDREN!!! most of them are PEDOS ABUSERS CRIMINALS), same body shapes sexual activities (males with males and females with females).
do you live in Iran, that sounds like Iran
You were groomed by a cult sponsored by Big Pharma. Kids are being used to make some people profit and then get discarded. You will be media's enemy number one, they will go after detransitioners the hardest.
For such irreversible, painful surgeries and hormone damage, I just can’t imagine going through GRS. You’re a beautiful human and it’s very selfless for you to share your story with the world. You will help those who seek it. ♥️
Global Recycling Standard?
Hi Jade, I watched your interview on Benjamin Boyce as well as this video. I've watched a lot of detransitioner videos but for some reason, yours struck me. I worked in U.S. healthcare for 20 years as an occupational therapist (nothing to do with gender affirming care) and I just wanted to say I am so sorry (but not surprised) that the medical system failed you in this way. You may already be aware of the whistleblower Jamie Reed, who worked at the gender clinic at Washington University in St. Louis, but if you haven't heard of her, you may want to check her out. There's a lot of good people with good intentions in our health system but our system is simultaneously failing for a variety of reasons. I was especially struck by the health complications you are experiencing at such a young age. People think taking testosterone is "no big deal" but it really does affect everyone differently. I do think so many vulnerable people are getting caught up gender transition at a young age (teenage years). Then, by the time they figure it out, the damage has been done. Your sister did you a solid encouraging you to wait to get top surgery. Sounds like you have good family support. All the best to you.
It pains me to see ANYONE who is bullied for any reason. When I went through schooling bullying was always a huge issue. We had the number one special needs program for high schoolers in the state of Colorado in my high school. I along with everyone I knew made it our mission to let these kids feel safe at school. It brought tears to my eyes when we closed in on graduating and we had students that attended these classes thanking us and the school for making it a "safe place" that they felt welcome and safe going to.
You are an INCREDIBLY beautiful woman, as kids, we see someone who is clearly beautiful and feels incredibly jealous of them. In order for them to make themselves feel better or on a higher echelon than that person, they spend every waking minute breaking down that other person mentally so they feel more superior to them. It boosts their ego, little do they care or know what their actions are doing to that person. I had an incredibly close friend that I served with in the military that unfortunately committed suicide because the demons eating him up from prior childhood bullying amplified when we served overseas returning with PTSD. I had no idea how bad it was for him until I was called on leave telling me he had passed. It took me months of therapy to "accept" his actions leading up to his decision. I really wish that I made it clear to him that he could have talked to me about anything.
You have your whole life ahead of you and I'm glad you're getting through this, just know that there are more people on your side rooting for you than you know.
Stay beautiful and keep your head high! As a single white man that you spoke about, I'd be dayum proud to have a beautiful woman like you by my side. 😉
i really do think that if we'd have more nuanced conversations, or taught people to think deeply about why someone would want to transition, we'd figure out if it was actually that they felt comfortable being perceived as a certain gender (unrelated to sexism and stereotypes) or if it was them wanting to run away from sexism and stereotypes or whatever might seem like someone is trans, but actually is not. i thought i was a trans man once (turned out to be non-binary) and i am so glad no one let me have hormones, because i do not want to medically change my body with hormones. i thought i *had* to change my body so i could "not be cis" in the "proper" way. eventually i realized that i don't have to hate my female body to not be cis, i could look whatever way i wanted to without it invalidating my identity. i also just didn't know that being non-binary was a thing, so i thought i *had* to *choose,* and of course i chose the one that was closest to my identity. one could only imagine how awful it probably would have felt for me if i transitioned medically, not realizing that i didn't have to choose between two genders. education is so, so important.
This should be viral. You're so thorough and factual in your testimony. If there are any class action suits this video needs to be submitted. It's not a revenge thing, it's an accountability thing. I hope you continue with schooling, you'll be asset to any profession you choose.
girl..Take them to the court..For the safety of other kids..DO it..there are many like you..You are a beauty queen.Huge injustice was done to you
This. There should be a fund for young people like Jade to sue these child abusers.
Gender Dysphoria exists and people who need the surgery should do it. This girl had self-esteem issues and she needed therapy for that; not a surgery to fix Gender Dysphoria, which she hasn't. It isn't LGBT community that should be blamed for this; it should be a country where there's not universal healthcare and health is a business! If you have money and you want to put on 3 noses, there is always an ass willing to do that, as long as you have money to pay!:
Yes! Take them to court!!!
30 minutes in. Thank you so much for sharing your story and bringing awareness to other teens who are struggling. Love when you said "That's all I ever wanted to be. I always wanted kids and my own family." As a child, teen and woman myself, that was always my dream as well. Sending you love and prayers.
What a truly beautiful brave young woman you are! You are a voice that needs to be heard and voices like yours are about to counter the storm 🙏🙏🙏
First of all, your story is so powerful, and regardless of how far it spreads, telling it is so important. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability. ❤
Second of all, your comment about being 23 and feeling like you’re just now thinking more clearly is something I can relate to, and I’m sure many others can, as well. I remember being a child and teen, feeling like my mind was always so clouded, like I had no clarity about almost anything in life. It wasn’t until 24 or so that I started to feel that fogginess start to lift. This correlates with neuroscience, which tells us the frontal lobe isn’t finished developing in people until we are 26-28 years old. I’m 29 now and no longer feel that fogginess basically at all. I am so much more confident in my ability to have clarity and understanding of situations. What you have been going through is so, so normal. I thought I was a freak for not having clarity for all of those years, but it’s actually just the norm, and nobody talks about it.
Anyway, I wish you the best. We don’t always agree on everything (we’re Twitter mutuals, lol) but I still think you are a fiercely strong and courageous young lady, and I think your voice is so important in this day and age. Thank you so much, I’m greatly anticipating part 2!
Thank you so much for watching❤ It’s wild to hear how we all age differently yet we seem to have to same feelings
You are such a brave and beautiful girl, inside and out. I'm so proud of you for opening up and sharing your story. I am so sorry about how you were sucked into this traumatizing experience, that you didnt get the care and medical attention you deserved and needed so much.
By sharing your story, you are helping untold countless young girls to understand the lies and manipulation that these people put you through, and how easy it haa become to prey on children who are vulnerable and need help with understanding, proper diagnosis of mental conditions and proper treatment of same. Puberty is the most intense, scary and life changing experience for every human child, and it is the truest form of transition - the start of the transition into becoming an adult. Making medical decisions about actually physically alterting gender are for mature adults who are fully and completely informed about every possible consequence that you could potentially experience.
Thank you, Sweet Darlin, for your bravery and honesty. You truly touched my heart. And give me hope that your message will resonate and spread to help others open their hearts and share their stories. Most of all, I hope the mixed up, confused children find you and take this seriously, and are able to avoid the dangerous and potentially devastating experiences that you have survived. I hope you find your Prince and have a wonderful family of your own when you're ready. Blessings on you Honey. 💖
I had the same feelings as a child as you did about boys and being a bullied outcast. I could of literally written this out about myself. I didn't ever question being a girl myself, but I did decide early on that I wasn't the same as other people and I was alone in this world. I actually thought maybe I wasn't a human at all and I'd question what I came from. Now I love that I am so different. I also collect dolls. Have you heard of blythe dolls?! They're my favourite.
I'm sorry you went through so much but I'm really proud of you for being so strong and getting out of this.
You are beautiful 💜
Wow. You are very brave and intelligent to share your experience with others
This story needs to be shown on all platforms
❤
This is actually so sad… thank you for sharing your story!! Glad to hear that you are doing better!
I usually dont make comments like this on RUclips videos at the risk of sounding like a creep or a simp or whatever so i want you to know i mean this with the utmost respect and sincerity, Jade you truly are a very beautiful woman and any man would be lucky to have the opportunity to date you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Simp.
brave. I hope these videos (seeing more of them) help others and prevent trauma. you remind me of my daughter, we are working with her to prevent any medical-related changes. she seems to be doing better. needs good friends etc. to help, its a battle.
Tearing up within the first 30 seconds. Thank you so much ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, I’m happy for you. And you’re a beautiful soul!
you are doing a great work by coming forward, Believe me, algorithms might shadowban your video, upload also in Rumble, and keep moving forward, you are doing a great work to stand and speak up, i wish you a fantastic life
Thank you for your honesty and transparency.
i though that i was a boy in a girls body when i was 13 years old and during my whole teenage, i also had some trans friends at the time so yeah i though that i might be trans too, cause i didn't like myself as a girl, i was convinced... But i ended up not eating cause i felt horrible about my body regardless and i ended up beeing diagnosed with anorexia. We discovered that looking at myself as a boy it was just a way to feel better with my body cause i didn't have to fit into the female beauty standars, it was a way to hide all my insecurities.
long story short, im so greatful that my dad had to put me through psychological procedure so we could know what was going since i wasnt old enough to make such a huge decission and obviously i wasnt mentally stable either, cause if it hadn't i would have probably ended up in this same situation (im totally feeling like a woman and still learning to love myself ♥) and thats why im against kids just making the transition too early without any psychological procedure before (in spain they want to make it that way) and im sorry that you have to go through this... You are valid, you are important and what you feels matter, dont let anyone tell you how you should feel cause this CAN happen, THIS is a thing as much as people want to hide it and show only the positive part. This is one of the risks. preciosa!!! ¡mucha fuerza! y si, tambien me pasó con el yaoi, también el encanto que tenian esas parejas me hicieron confundirme, romanticé las relaciones homosexuales
I love your take, I am not of the camp who thinks that talking about trans stuff in a positive way is grooming, but it is definitely not a light decision and it requires psychological cousneling all the way trough
nah its grooming your a creep @@elisehalflight
I was so similar growing up. Im soo thankfull i was in school in the early 2000s. Things went so far downhill. There's no doubt in my mind they'd be trying to get me to transition. Growing up is so hard kids don't need this added stress. Social media and phones changed everything for better or for worse
Your story was so interesting. I smile, I hated my name since it was so damn common! I even worked with three other Kim's and one was a cis dude! Wanting to be a masculine was empowering, I was never trans, but I wanted to be a strong and confident, even a tough me. A me that could be heard and respected. I am glad that you came back to the you, you could love. Thank you for sharing. I hope there's a person who hears you and your story resonates.
Jade you're so lovely and you're ❤️ is beyond gargantuan. I can just hear that pain in your inflection and yet you continue on because you know it's the right thing to do. You're brave AF and I'd go as far to say heroic. ❤️🙏🙏🙏
Just came across your interview with Chloe and read your IWV write up.
One of my best friends daughter is in a very similar situation as yours when you began your transition.
I’ve been praying for her for the past year, coming across your story is an answer to my prayers.
I’m seeing her mom tomorrow and will pass along your story and what you have shared.
You will be in my prayers for your Prince Charming to come and for you to fulfill your dreams of marriage and motherhood. I truly believe your dreams will come true!
Thank you for your bravery and sharing your story.
God bless you, Jade.
Found this from your Twitter! Stay strong !
Beautiful heartfelt introduction. It hits me hard what they're doing to young girls, especially tomboys. Please keep speaking out for them.
Thank you for sharing your story
Please don’t take my comment as any disrespect. I understand you feel you are a trans man. I would like to offer another perspective for you to just consider: You are a woman who likes more traditionally masculine things; and that’s that’s okay! There is no one “right way” to be a girl or a boy. Your sex is just your biological reality. It’s the DNA that grew you; and yes, the hormones your body produces can affect how you perceive and interact with the world, but who YOU really are- that soul that flames within you- can’t be “in the wrong body.” You are exactly who you are meant to be. Please don’t let society tell you that you need to take a lifetime of synthetic chemicals, or chop off healthy body parts, just to “be happy.” Instead, maybe consider finding a therapist who will help you learn to love yourself, all the little bits and bobs, even the ones you don’t like. Because like I said before, *there is NO WRONG WAY to be the woman you are.* ❤
@@chilltarts I get your point i really do, but I have already considered that. I tried, I really did, but I suffer from gender dysphoria. Don't worry, I'm always seeing stories of detransitioners and I'm just even more sure about what I am. I'm a transexual, and I would have rathered just be born as a man, but I can't do anything about it. I don't do it because of society. I will do it because it's what my soul needs. And I will transition in a few years. I'm an adult already, but I have to wait bc of not having a supportive family. *SO don't worry about me, I won't regret it.*
@@chilltarts yes there are alot of stupid people on tiktok thinking they're trans and shit, but I'm not that dumb, im not woke, I do not do it because of a trend. I don't even have tiktok, I despise it.
@@ilovecats21 I'm 24, and I'm transmasculine non-binary. I am like you, and I am not dumb, woke, I don't use TikTok a lot, and my gender is part of who I am.
I worry about you because that is exactly what every detransitioner said at the beginning "I am absolutely sure". It is pretty much like marriage, nobody marries thinking that they will ever divorce.
Less than 1 minute in, and I already liked the video. You are beautiful and courageous for telling your story publicly. You are helping others. Thank you
Thank you so much!!
Thank you for being so brave and honest in talking about such a difficult and personal topic.
Please continue telling your story. I fear there are many, many young girls who are at risk of falling prey to all the extreme TRA propaganda these days. I believe it's stories like yours that have the best chance of perhaps making some of these young girls take a step back and really inform themselves on the reality and consequences of rushing to define themselves in this way.
They really should just let kids be kids and give them a chance to grow up before recruiting them into the culture wars.
Much love and best wishes to you.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It matters and will help someone. Please dont let the hatefull people get you down. Your amazing and you matter and your experience can help others. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing. God led me here to listen to your story and keep you in my prayers. I hope your life is filled with peace❤
This video is healing to my inner child self. Thank you for sharing your story
Thank you for sharing your story, ❤ it made me emotional!
You are so beautiful and so very brave. I could relate to so many feelings you conveyed. Thank you so much for sharing. God Bless You 🙏❤️
What an amazing articulate explanation of your heart and how you felt then and feel now.
I’m a woman in my 50s and still don’t feel comfortable with other women. (legit don’t get them)
I’m fine with it now and just do A LOT of listening when I’m out and about with other women. We are all so different and sharing and supporting is such a blessing.
You are truly beautiful. 💖💖
This is such an interesting story and I'm glad you had the courage to tell it. I'm also 23 and I always thought that if transitioning was as popular as it is now in central Europe, I would most probably fall into it too. I used to be a big tomboy liking videogames, not caring about looks, not being attracted to guys at all and mostly having guy friends. But I am sooo glad now that I'm a girl, and I didnt go through anything like this mostly because it was still a stigma (and here it kinda still is tbh) and not celebrated as in US etc. The overwhelming support for these kinds of things, as much as is great, seems very dangerous especially in puberty and childhood, where kids are still developing their personality.
Thanks for sharing your story. It takes courage to face your past.
this is so sad, i relate to ur story a lot in the sense that i feel like a loner not because i want to be like that but because everyone else distinguished me in that way, also with what you said about insecurities... i would love to see more videos from u detailing ur story because this is so important
Every mental health practitioner needs to see this. Thank you for being so open!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Jade. It tragic that girls are afraid of puberty and the remarkable changes their bodies are going through. Puberty, as challenging as it can be, is a superpower and we need to help girls understand that their thoughts and physical changes are normally beautiful.
I agree! Little girls internalize so much I think we need to protect and change the way we raise them in this generation
Thank you for the courage to come foward with all this. You were perfect the way you were, and these so called "medical professionals" did what they did to you anyway. It's horrendous and evil, and it needs to stop. You're being part of an important movement that's about to rise. The detransitioners testimonials will be extremely important in order to win this battle against madness and evil. Stay strong, Jade!
👏👏👏
Thank you for sharing your story, I did not think I would relate to it so much. I am "lucky" to be from a country where transition is not available, otherwise I am sure I would have done it. I was never a girly girl, I had to push myself to become feminine, but just like you I loved boys, all of my friends were men, I had boyish hobbies and interests while teenage girls were too preoccupied with being mean and too focused on their appearance. Those male friends ended up physically bullying me the moment they grew into the age where all they cared about was sex - I was ugly, not an object of their interest, it felt like they would be ashamed to be even associated with me out of fear that someone would suggest they were into me. I had to learn how to fight and that became my prominent personality trait for a long time. I convinced myself dreaming about being loved was a delusion and that I shall be forever excluded from the world of teenage love, first kisses, affection... Plus I come from a terrible familial background. All of my mental problems, lack of love and self-love and my disinterest in seeking help moulded me into an aggressive alcoholic when I was 16-19. Despite that, I found many wonderful friends during that time who struggled with their own issues, yet that, for some reason, their friendship and love was not enough for me, I still kept hating myself. Luckily, I was a high-functioning alcoholic, so my academics remained unaffected. I dreamed about being a man, because I felt so weak. I wanted to become a different person because I hated myself so much. I did not have gender dysphoria, I had a ME dysphoria, I just wanted to disappear. I am somewhat better now.
Hey Atreuz, your life definitely is far from over, regardless of the damage that has been done to your body by the transitioning period :) I believe you'll still have a fulfilled life.
God bless you. Keep sharing your story to save many more people females & males.
you just brought a tear to my eyes
I know this is really surface level and you probably already know this but by just hearing your voice, I would have never known you transitioned. It still sounds very naturally feminine. Almost all ftmtf detransitioners have very deep voices from the testosterone unfortunately
I am very grateful but my voice also isn’t as simple as it sounds. I’ve trained it to become higher since stopping T. It’s sore, sometimes it becomes scratchy and it feels like there’s a constant uncomfortable strain. There really is no going back.
100% agree
@@jaderants Overall, your voice is still impressive and also comparable to some girls who have similar tones when they never took testosterone in their lives. So, I think that side effects may be milder for you than others(in terms of voice pitch). People may not notice it in you if you don't tell them your story... Hope you are feeling better after you told this unfortunately tragic yet inspirational story to the world.
TBH I find your voice extremely pleasant to listen to.
@@jaderants"There really is no going back" never give up, never lose hope. Keep working on healing yourself everyday.
Thank you for sharing your story. 😊❤
Your story speaks to me so much and I feel so bad for all detransitioners who experienced this sort of malpractice. I was bullied as a child and struggled with a lot of similar traumas when 'coming of age' and still having a childish mentality about romance and sex. I think those feelings are shared by a lot of women. Some deal with it better than others. I'm so glad that when I was a child, they never would have considered administering cross-sex hormones to a healthy child. I also agree that 18 is not fully mature. It breaks my heart that these women who followed this path may never get to experience the joyfulness of bearing a child and will forever have to contend with the scars and after-effects of this. I also wish you the best and hope that you can have everything you wish for.
Thanks for sharing, i think you will help many people ❤
Thank you for sharing your story♡♡♡
You’re story is similar to mine when it came to my peers growing up. The only difference is that I’m a tomboy 100%. I grew up to have major depression disorder. I discovered that I was asexual (but heterosexual) and a highly sensitive person. Please continue to discover yourself because you’re beautiful and worthy of finding someone who loves you for you. Im happily married and psychologically stable. Your story matters and never stop loving and accepting YOU and everything about YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Um.. you can't be heterosexual and asexual tf?
@@user-sg1lk6cb9kthey mean heteroromantic probably
highly sensitive? have you ever considered autism?
your a clown @@user-sg1lk6cb9k
Thank you for sharing! ❤
I’m so glad I’m already grown. I couldnt imagine growing up in this.
Thank you for telling your story.
Thank you for sharing your story.
What you're saying around 22:15 is so relatable to me.
I'm not and never was trans, but my best friend is/was (I'll get to that later), so the topic was present in my life for a long time now. Recently, I've realised they were always very relatable to me precisely because of my own issues that, at their core, were very similar to theirs: I deeply hated myself and wanted to be someone else. I hated both my name and my surname, I hated my face, I hated my body. I had and still have a very small chest, my stomach has never been flat, and my nose is too big, too wide - I wanted to get it done since I was 12. I had a very girly personality but my looks just wouldn't match it: I felt I didn't look girly or feminine at all, and I was deeply embarrassed and ashamed of being this ugly kid that no boy would want which is even more painful when you're surrounded by good-looking, charismatic girls at school. Being hated and despised and belittled by my own father since I can remember surely didn't help either. So, there was this huge discrepancy between how I felt and how I looked that you could say I also experienced a dysphoria of sorts. I hated so many things about my body but also about the person I was in general that I just didn't want to be myself.
So I've picked a new name and surname that I felt suited me better, and would use them online wherever I could, and fantasized about changing my name legally after I'd turn 18 (I'm almost 27 now and still haven't done that haha). I still want to get my nose done, too, although I probably won't get under the knife because it's too risky compared to the results I could get.
Now I'm in therapy and trying to heal from my childhood wounds, and hopefully my friend will as well - a few years ago, they finally realised why they had such acute dysphoria from a young age, why they ended up being trans: it all boiled down to abuse suffered at the hands of their father and being unloved by him, getting sexual attention by strangers when they were just 9-10 years old because for whatever reason they hit puberty really fast and looked way older then, and generally getting this message from everyone around that femininity = weakness, vulnerability, inferiority. no wonder they wanted no part of that. they're conflicted though because they have already changed their name legally, and had a top surgery, and their voice got so low on testosterone, and they're higher than the average woman... that it's easier to keep passing as a man at this point, even though they hate what they did to themselves.
As some one who was bullied most of my life and going through darker stuff i can relate how it feels being outcast by kids it's horrible am so sorry you had to go through that it awful even now i can't say am not effected by my past i have depression bpd getting tested for autism and adhd but it is what it is. i just want to say you are very beautiful both in looks and as a person i think you are increadibley strong for all you have went through and being able to share your story i hope you have a wonderful life and find peace and i am sure you will help other people going through similar experence's i wish you all the best 🙂
I once did a 45 minute live show. Played a video about 20 minutes in. Cut my mic during it and never turned it back on. You're not alone, my fellow youtuber!
Uh oh…I’m starting to see more and more of these. Thankfully we get to hear the other side of the coin.
Hard agree, I am trans and without regrets and I always want to know more about the experiences of other people
EDIT: well i guess my only regret is not starting earlier, oh well, water under the bridge
@@elisehalflightI’m not out yet but I think if I did come out a while ago I would of missed out on some opportunities, so maybe try to think about those to counter that regret?
I can relate to a lot of your story. Puberty is a crazy time and can super stressful on young kids. I cut all my hair off and only war boys clothes from grad 6-8. I was not ready for my body to change for boy to look at me differently now that I was filling out. I saw my femininity as a weakness. I heated it so much and rejected it. This was in the early 2000. I ended up with anorexia and body dysmorphia in my early 20s. I love being a woman I have except my body and embrace my femininity!!
Because femininity is powerful and beautiful.
Also getting your period can be cray scary especially when your parents don’t talk about “that stuff”. Getting your period FUCKING Sucks! Especially when your young!!!!
My god…I remember getting my period at 11. It was so traumatic…and I hated the feeling of feeling period blood pain in my uterus.
I disliked, and I ran to my mom crying, when I back from school. I told my mom, I’m bleeding and she told me to relax, so she told me, I am a woman’s and I should accept it that I am a woman.
I’ve entered womanhood, now boys and men will view me as a sexual object for instant gratification, they’ll be asking us to flash our breast because they are horny mfs, which is so annoying and violating. It is horny men turned on and getting erections for imagining bending down to reach an object or talking about screwing you. Which is fucking disgustingly inappropriate behavior and very disrespectful. I’ve had a few men sexualized me, objectify me, boys touching my genitals without consent, asking for me to show my tits on social media, asking me to strip nude and my ass gets a lot of attention because it’s big and I have some curves. It is so fucking hard to believe that many young girls and young women go through this shit and I’ve had female friends in first grade who were sexualized by the time we were in 6th grade. It is so disgusting. Like who in the right mind asked you to sexualize them Wtf????
21:23 Thank you very much for sharing this! I'm very tired of the society's idea that female body is a burden
thank you for sharing your story. you’re lovely. im really sorry for what happened. you were wrongly treated by professionals and that is not okay.
Exactly. Not "I want to be a guy", but "I don't want to be me"
Thank you for your story, it really touched me.
I never took T, but for years I dressed like a man and thought I behaved like a man (as if women couldn't behave the same way, but I grew up in Russia, which is a rather conservative country). I always liked sports, "male" hobbies, "male" interests. I often heard the phrase "but you are a girl" (in our country it is constantly used by the older generation to say that we (girls) should behave differently). i think this was one of the reasons why i started to hate my femininity and renounce it. I also began to despise many of the women around me, even though I was bisexual and had relationships with both women and men. it took me almost thirty years to deal with a lot of psychological issues and to accept myself. Fortunately, T is not very accessible here, but I still avoided the gynaecologist for years and was happy if I did not have my period (which can be dangerous for my health). now I feel like I am learning to be a woman again: I wear make-up, dress more femininely (although I used to despise dresses, skirts and those who wore them). no one talks to you about the fact that being a woman is not easy. thank you again for sharing.
thank you for sharing this is very important. bless u
Thank you for this video.
I get the impression that first world people just don't want to deal with normal teenage coming of age struggles. This is part of the magical pill mentality.
Well, being bullied that heavily is not a normal struggle. It can destroy your confidence for life.
@lh2435 Destroying yourself esteem is one thing. Changing your entire gender is just a first world problem. The rest of the children in the world don't go around changing their genders because they are being bullied at school.
@@lh2435I sure af never even thought about transitioning from being bullied.
Yeah cause being trans is a much easier route…. 🙄🙄
It’s very sad that the medical professionals are taking advantage of vulnerable young people.
@@NellyMachariawhat do you know….you are just spreading misinfo winding people up
There are trans people in all cultures and it’s nothing new.
I'm trans, and I'm really happy you shared your story. I wish you well.
Darling girl, I hated my body, my early boobs, had social anxiety, I know I had OCD looking back now, had 4 brothers and envied their strength and speed. But thank god was from a loving catholic protective family. So watched me like a hawk, who I mixed with and then when I started to diet. Anyway with the passage of time you grow into yourself, confidence comes, comfort comes, and you grow to love your bodies purpose. Please don’t get angry use this to learn, to learn about grooming, to learn about the great con, to love your bodies purpose, to become grounded, to learn who your allies were … your family, make your family your purpose not tick-tock, not RUclips. God bless you
I'm only at beginning, but already need to comment on one thing.
You said you'd want your potential daughter to grow confident as a women and not struggle with it, puberty confusion, etc.
It's all good intentions, however, I think important to understand that puberty is strange and confusing for anyone and always will be.
You can't just avoid it. There's nothing you can do, that will make it easy, it will always be something challenging.
Of course, a parent or teachers can do a lot to alleviate the confusion and guide, so that the girl won't stray in weird directions (and I'm sorry that you were failed here by the professionals).
But it's normal to be confused, it's not only because the bodily changes are new, but there's also a hormonal 'storm' affecting feelings, thinking's, etc. And many other things.
I think it's important to understand that it will always be strange, awkward, confusing. That's what we always knew in previous generations (and it's a shame that knowledge is somehow being omitted when it comes to educating the young).
In the young generation the kids aren't taught that anymore, and they think if they feel discomfort in their bodies or confusion, or negative emotions such as sadness, that it's something wrong with them and requires medical intervention (that's visible not for in trans issues but mental health interventions as well).
The truth is, it's normal to be feeling negative emotions, to feel wrong, to be confused, to be at discomfort; it's not a disease or disorder to feel that (it only becames classified as one if the distress is _excessively_ great it disrupts normal functioning and requires medical intervention to cope with daily life. And of course, certain experience such as childhood abuse obviously necessitate therapeutic intervention, that should go without saying).
So, you can't prevent your future daughter from being confused at puberty. It's impossible and utopian. That's what the older generations hoped for, that now we can brings kids up in a perfect way, address every mental distress, educate, etc., and massively failed, and it's exactly what resulted in kids thinking there's something wrong with them for being absolutely normal i.e. feeling awkward or confused or experiencing discomfort etc.
Food for thought.
I'm now going now back to watching.👍
PS. I also thought in adolescence being with boys meant fairytales and prince charming!
Even in high school (in my country starts at 14-15), that's what I've always expected or imagined (courteous, bring flowers, etc.). I definitely expected to fall in love and be loved, not experiment sexually just for the sake of it!
Also never presented myself in a 'sexy' or 'hot' way, it just never was me. And I was and felt fairly feminine, and never equated femininity with 'hotness,' I always saw this as a certain style a woman can choose to present herself as, but that isn't the essence of femininity, and that you may look even more feminine when you're more discreet and modest.
It's very interesting to hear your account, because of how how similar it sounds (in the aspect of believing in 'fairytale' love, I don't mean in childish literal sense but in idealistic sense, and I think it's a very good thing: it's a purity of the heart thing to believe in _love_ ! Because that love is the longing of our hearts!).
However, I never liked the gay fanfiction etc., which I also encountered at some point, never understood the appeal of it, in fact I found it very off-putting (because if a boy/man is supposed to like me as a girl/woman, then him liking a male would be ruining him and his attraction to me as female, I found it insulting even), and such fanfiction was literally ruining these fictional characters for me.🤷♀️
New sub. *Thank you* for telling your story. 🙏
I'm still watching this video but what struck me was when you told the nurse that you wanted to get pregnant and have kids one day...well...don't you think that should have been a red flag to hold up the entire process? Like, are you really trans if you want to get pregnant and have kids? And yes, the consequences of being on testosterone as related to pregnancy are serious let alone other health complications. I'm so sorry (but not surprised) you went through this. Unfortunately, people trust the medical system has their best interests at heart. Sometimes that's true, but other times it isn't. All the best to you.
Yes, it should’ve been a major red flag but TRA’s tell people that “boys can get pregnant too”
@@jaderants "Boys can get pregnant too" I'm sorry, but that's completely crazy. I wish you all the best in finding a good partner, getting married and having children if that's what you want to do.
@@jaderants For what it's worth, I really related to your "princess fantasy" when you were younger of falling in love with the right person and having children and a family. I believe it can be done but you really need to make sure it's the right person.
@@transitionsnc literally know a trans man with a kid and theyre happy and healthy
Have been a twitch follower for a while. Definitely a fanboy now.
The subject matter is sad. But the way you speak is so lovely. I can truly feel and see through the eyes of your young self. She was so pure and innocent and beautiful. I’m sorry you went through this.
You have a gift for story telling.
You are stunning and adorable, not sure I’ve ever seen that before. I think ethereal is the word I’m looking for here. ❤
21:39
I totally understand missing your period. I went years without getting mine. It’s apart of what makes us women, women. It’s a fact of our life. It means growing up & being able to produce life. 😊
I relate so much to the part when you talk about the "boys love" (lemon/yaoi?) fanfictions! That they seem to love each other for who they are, and not because they look sexy or whatever. YES YES YES. Yes, I've always wanted to be seen and loved for who I am. I'm happy I've found that nowadays. And I so wish you find that too more and more. I wish for you loving relationships and self love. I'm rooting for you ❤
❤😊 Extremely likeable girl! She’s had bad luck: I wish her all good luck from now on.
Yes Tell Your Story To The World You Will Save Lives & The Futures Of Many Girls & Boys The Trans Curious Need To See Your Video Before They Make Any Choices God Bless😀😀😀
Thank you very much for sharing your story. I am 74 and obviously completely unfamiliar with the world you are describing. But I think you are offering something many, if not most, girls closer to your generation needs to know.
I do have a suggestion however. It seems that some explicit words have been subtlety bleeped. Could this be released somewhere without the edits?
Again thank you for the video.
I got a tatto as soon as i turned 18 and i totally regret it! 18 is totally a baby thank you.
I am 30 years old. This is the first detransitioner story I can fully relate to. The way you felt as a child and how you wished you could be a gay man, that was me. I’m so glad I grew up before this. I apologize for what happened to you and your generation
I luv your insight.
Hey girl, I lived a lot of my teen years online. At around 14/15 I got a pixie cut and decided I would pretend to be a boy online. I made many friends and the attention I got (or that I fished for) was empowering… I would do several incredibly cringy and embarrassing things, like flirt with women as if I really was a boy… dont get me wrong my personality was always there but I would take photos and present as a guy. I think I was very lonely. I also had OCD :( I DID have dysphoria much like lots of people online mention but I also feel like I wanted attention. I think its very brave that you can admit this on the internet because here I struggle to even mention it to myself. I want to forget and act like it never happened, and if someone (like a partner) were to find out, I dont know what I would say. My “boy online” phase lasted up until I was 17/18 ….. im in my 20s now. it might not seem as pronounced as getting Testosterone shots but im still ashamed. These days, I just allow myself to be a tomboy who wears makeup…. But the past is something that hurts me to think about
You’re ABSOLUTELY helping young girls by sharing your story. PLEASE don’t let the lbgt mob silence you! You’re so beautiful just as you were born!!
I was an outsider and bullied as well when I was in school even into high school.
Thank you for sharing your story. I thought maybe I was trans (MtF) and I lived as a woman for 2 years, I changed my name, took estrogen, did all of the Social parts of transition.. I considered getting the bottom surgery… but I had something in the back of my mind that wouldn’t stop nagging me about how I was being fetishized… I decided to change my therapist and went to one who actually pushed back and he helped me workout my issues and one of them was i was lonely and wanted to be loved, I am autistic and I have social anxiety, I got bullied and made fun of. Well I detransitioned and now embrace my manhood. Sadly the effects of estrogen still are here I hate my breasts and have to use a binder, I am looking into options to have them removed, and I thankfully have an amazing woman in my life who accepts me and she gives me the love and confidence I had felt I was lacking.
Thank you for coming forward with your story, you are a beautiful human being inside and out. I can relate to some of your story, I always felt so much more comfortable among boys than girls, more camaraderie and less cattiness/drama. That probably had a bearing in me choosing a male dominated career, engineering. As you realized in time being more comfortable around boys than girls did not make you a boy as you were always attracted to boys, as myself. I ask the Lord to bless you with a wonderful man who will love everything about you and if it is his will to give you a daughter that I am sure you will be a wonderful role model to. God bless you!
Re: fanfiction. It does intrigue me how many women say they prefer to read and write m/m fanfiction because female characters are boring, m/f relationships are boring to read, m/f relationships are unsafe, there are no interesting female characters etc. It always makes me wonder why don't they write an interesting, safe and respectful f/m relationship themselves if they don't like what they see in media? That's what fanfiction is for. Take those characters and write about them how you like. If there are no interesting female characters, why not make some? It feels like throwing out the baby with the bathwater but to each their own.
You are so very beautiful! I wish I was as pretty as you. I was bullied in school too. It was awful. I went through puberty too late ( not too early like you did.) I didn't go though puberty until I was 16 years old. :( I was mocked in school. I remember I was mocked in gym class in 6th grade when we were changing for gym class. The girls mocked me because I wasn't wearing a bra but I was far from puberty yet and was still in a little girl body. I wish I could go back and yell, "Why would I wear a bra? Can't you see? I do NOT have boobs yet!"
How can we let our public education system fail us so much. You hear this stuff on the internet but these are real people real children losing parts of themselves. I hope your story helps many. God Bless
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Just a thought...as a survivor of sexual abuse, I don't call it SA because I think it gives power back to my abuser. I am not ashamed of my sexual abuse because it wasn't my fault. I think this is another "rule" put out by the people that want to tell everyone how to think and feel and I refuse to listen to that. You are beautiful and you are going to have many people attack you for your story, but please stay strong.
I hope you stay well and happy, child. Bless you.
I worked at multiple schools with teachers and with counselors as their paraprofessional and intern. A huge majority of the kids who went transgender or nonbinary had both issues with control as well as a sense of non belonging-- with their peers and with their changing body. A lot of the time, working on giving thise kids a sense of control and belonging had resulted in the trans identity being phased out on their own.
This is not the story for all teens obviously, but I think there's value in gender affirming without the need to use any medical interventions tgat will cause permanent physical changes.
I was a what they called a tom boy, I've watched several of trans video and i can relate to the bullying of growing up , but i learned how to overcome , changing gender was never an option. We as a people has gotten accustomed to picking and choosing everything about of lives, instead of learning coping skills. Coping skills will last a lifetime.
Beautiful young lady. My Daughter also did this. For a few years she lived as a man.
God Bless you. I'm so happy you love yourself now.
What you wanted, that innocent view of love and acceptance, isn’t immature or wrong. The world twists what’s natural and mocks it but God put those desires in us. We all want pure love. The solution to all of your insecurities and fears is realizing who He says you are and what Christ has done for you. That’s where your identity should come from. Not from the world, not from the internet, but from your Creator. The pain can be undone.
(Also my parents gave me a name my tongue doesn’t want to pronounce right 90% of the time and I hated it as a kid so I feel you on that lol)