What Causes the Anger Component of Borderline Personality Disorder?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 19 май 2024
- This video answers the question: What causes the anger component of borderline personality disorder? Borderline personality disorder has nine symptom criteria and that five criteria have to be met for a diagnosis of the disorder. Sometimes when we look at causation of disorders like borderline personality we're interested in what causes the disorder in general, but sometimes it's more helpful to look at a specific symptom of the disorder, even though that symptom isn't always present in every manifestation of the disorder. When we talk about anger and borderline personality disorder, we're talking about one specific symptom criterion. First, I'll go through all the symptom criteria and then into more detail about the anger. Again, there are nine symptom criteria with borderline personality disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual: frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, unstable and intense relationships, identity disturbance, impulsivity, suicidal behavior, affective instability, a chronic feeling of emptiness, inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger, and paranoid ideation. Specifically looking at the anger, it's important to understand that trait anger is different than state anger and both of those are different than what we see in borderline personality disorder. There's a lot of overlap particularly between trait anger and that symptom of borderline personality, but they're not the same thing. Trait anger can cause difficulty for individuals even when they don't meet the full criteria for borderline personality disorder and that symptom of borderline personality disorder. -- the inappropriate intense anger - that can be present even if somebody doesn't have borderline personality disorder. There are a lot of different consequences to anger, which I'll talk about in a moment but first it is important to understand the difference between trait and state anger. State anger is episodic and fairly normal. Most everybody will have state anger from time to time in their lives. Trait anger is an aspect of personality and that's why we tend to think of trait anger as much more related to this anger symptom criterion in borderline personality disorder. This anger symptom criterion is actually the most prevalent symptom criterion with borderline personality. It's more prevalent than the other eight symptom criteria and it's the most prevalent in clinical and non-clinical samples. It's also the most prevalent and first-degree relatives of individuals with borderline personality.
There's a general tendency for the symptoms of borderline personality to remit over time. They don't remit in every instance, but oftentimes they do to some degree and some remit faster than others. The anger criterion is the slowest to remit over time, so it's the most stubborn in essence. This anger criterion is also associated with a number of negative outcomes. With the anger criterion endorsed we see decreased functioning in work and social settings, increased incidents of comorbidity with substance use disorders, increased suicidal behavior, increased impulsivity, and increased paranoid ideation. We also see that anger is related to rejection sensitivity and increased conflict and with individuals.
My BPD rage comes from being embarrassed, feeling left out, thinking I'm being made fun of or being/feeling rejected.
I get angry when I feel I’m not being listened to.
Kate Dollen ....me, too.
I get what you are saying. But if you are presenting yourself in an angry way people will shut down
@@louieslaw Sometimes people will deny everything you tell them, even if it's how you feel. Some people just don't like to listen or acknowledge that mental health is a real problem. Imagine working up the courage to tell a friend or family member what's going on in your head and you get shut down immediately.
@@TheSuperQuail In the context of an individual with Borderline, often times the presentation of this feeling does not match up to the reality that friends/family experience on the outside. If the individual with BPD does not know of their disorder, the presentation of their feelings can seem accusatory, blame shifting or just generally irrational. Looking for external validation is precisely symptomatic of BPD and will likely not subside without the individual focusing on themselves first. This, of course, seems to be the BPD paradox that holds many individuals back from recieving treatment and accepting responsibility.
Doesn’t that make anyone angry? Not saying I’m not listening to you 😂, just genuinely curious.
I get angry when I feel challenged and I dont know how to turn it off.
Being someone with borderline personality disorder. I find that I get angry when I think I'm going to lose something. If there is that threat that something is being taken from me the fear kicks in. That fear can cause extreme anger unrealistic anger. Then the things I'm afraid of losing I end up losing because of my Angry outbursts.
I freak the hell out when I lose something I don't even care about, ie a two-dollar flashlight or a sock. I immediately hear those chastizing voices and project them back onto myself, resulting in me cursing and once in a while even punching myself in the head. I even have a big red poster on my wall I put up a year ago "THINK THREE TIMES SO YOU DO NOT FUCK UP". Since developed cptsd my memory is so confused I have to continually monitor my actions or I lose everything.
What y
My story... Mr BPD 😫
Ditto
I agree to a degree but unfortunately ur a selfish arsehole it's not an opinion it's an observation mr.bpd
I was raised by my mother, who frankly displayed all 9 of the bpd criteria. The root source of her trait anger was clear and obvious, because she talked about it a few times per week during my entire childhood. When my mother was 2 her own mother passed away, leaving two orphan daughters. The father was out of the picture but there was an aunt and her husband who were childless and had a beautiful large home and a good income. Unfortunately the aunt decided to adopt only one of the girls, my mother's sister got to live the upper middle-class lifestyle while my mother was raised by an impoverished and somewhat feeble grandmother. So the source of my mother's trait anger was the combination of 1/ losing her own mother so young, 2/ jealousy that her sister was chosen over her, 3/ feelings of degradation caused by her lack of the ego-enhancing things that money can buy, such as clothes, toys, lessons, and activities.
I haven’t been diagnosed officially with BPD, but I have many symptoms. I find that my anger serves as a sort of “emotional wall”. As a child it must have protected me, but as an adult it merely destroys things. It’s true, some of my other symptoms have begun to weaken, but the anger piece is still very strong. The littlest thing can happen and I’ll be inappropriately angry for hours- it’s so frustrating, especially when I’m perfectly aware that I don’t need to be angry, yet the physical manifestations remain anyway.
I also just want to add that, when the anger does eventually dissipate, it turns out that the thing provoking the anger is usually some past trauma being triggered. Nine times out of ten, I’m not even angry at the issue at hand.
*This is why my care team hasn’t diagnosed me with BPD yet, they think I present trauma responses rather than a personality disorder. Who knows, though? Diagnoses take forever.
The most disturbing aspect of BPD I experience is dissociation "i don't feel real" and .gov environment first feel real I'm 55 and never admitted this to anyone until I was 48.Also, there is a sense of not being genuine even in my thoughts,, I know these things aren't so but knowledge never did help
Causes of anger in BPD: anything at all.
hah, correct
Fkn yes
Exactly. Just that anything isn't going out exactly as the BPD person wishes.
Perhaps some have selective anger, but most don't.
yep everything and all
😂😄🤪
This comment gives me anger. Jk. It could for some
Anger is almost always present.
My anger comes out when I'm not given my space, as an introvert who needs a lot of time to decompress from social interaction, I need my alone time and can't cope with someone always being there. Having lived alone for many years now my anger part of my BPD only tends to come out when I'm drinking with the person I'm casually dating and there being horrible to me.
Much of My anger comes from feeling I got shorted in life ie not being able to connect and participate and have things like a girlfriend,any feeling of meaning or purpose,feeling totally alone and knowing this is it-forever.
I feel cheated and forced to watch life from the sidelines on the bench and it has even made Me angry at GOD---
I am dead and alive at the same time.....totally empty and worthless...I am just a "thing"......the best part of all of this is People hate You,laught at You and shun You for something You cannot help
Facts💯
I do understand the feeling of this is it, it sucks but is better than nothing.Sometimes the only thing I enjoy in a day is my first big and cup of coffee
You are not worthless, though you may feel empty, people are mostly more trouble than they are worth finding contentment in yourself your own company is the answer
Feeling cheated means you feel you deserve something you didn't get. What have you done to deserve what you believe you have been cheated? Many people lose out in life due to looks, income, personality, etc. They do not get angry.
@@MasterMalrubius Maybe he was cheated out of his/her childhood, you can see from this video major components of BPD are invalidation as a child, trauma, abuse and neglect. You don't get your childhood back, you ask "what have you done to deserve" well what child ever deserves trauma, abuse and neglect? the answer is they don't but it still happens regardless so what is that person supposed to do when they become an adult and cant make peace with all that happened? rhetorical questions cause I don't care what you have to say.
Anger spurs for me always following perceived rejection or tactless criticism. Most people would be irritated or bothered by those causes... the difference I see is that the Borderlines have an extremely difficult time letting the offense roll off of them and that anger can lead to spiteful retaliation and vindictive actions if not deescalated with DBT mechanisms. I’m currently going through and “anger” streak and although mine isn’t outward, I definitely find myself ruminating on emotional verbal revenge tactics all the while trying to mentally rationalize myself out of the intensity of that anger. If I’m not allowed to cry and blubber about my hurt feelings and get a hug and reconciliation ... it quickly turns to vindictive and vengeful thoughts. I think the only good thing about myself is I can let go quickly and am back to my affectionate self if I am able to communicate and feel heard about my feelings. I know my feelings aren’t always logical, but it helps immensely to squash any anger when the person I feel hurt by can genuinely say “I don’t mean to hurt you and I’m sorry if it caused that”... I don’t really require from people the consideration that I wouldn’t be willing to reciprocate.
I didn't get the answer to "What causes the anger" on this video. The problem is very well framed, the context is explained, but no trigger exemples. And I can give you some: 1º when you want something from someone (atention, love) but you don't get it at the level you wish; 2º When you imagine people are discarding you, ignoring you or put you apart; 3º When you feel too much sensitive about someone's opinion on something you don't agree, and you think it's to put you down; 4º When someone's is hunger (about other things) and gives you a bad vibration, you immediatly take it personaly and you feel you need to take revenge against that person because you have the right to "kill the evil", etc.....those are the kind of stuff you should explain here
Wow, amazing! Thank you for this!
Gross.
Do you feel with your triggers you could be internalizing these triggers? Everyone deals with the same issue but perhaps not as harshly as yourself.
These are accurate.
This is what I experienced in my birth family and with two husbands.
Really helpful. I used to have anger issues over not feeling "accepted" but used exercise like swimming to stabilise my mood.
Me and my sister both have bpd she’s 6 years older than me so 27 and her substance abuse has dramatically lessened, no alcohol anymore, and she holds multiple jobs for long periods of times and is self sufficient now. She’s also a lot less angry and has been faithful to the same man for 5 years and has also lived with him for 4 years. This is all without any treatment too she was diagnosed as a teenager. It gives me a lot of hope and it’s nice to be close with someone who understands your intense emotions and self destructive tendencies so they never judge you. It gives me a lot of hope as someone with BPD.
@R RQ why be hostile? You dont know her sisters situation. There are always exceptions. Remember.. thinking in terms of absolutes is a common trait in bpd sufferers ;)
R RQ - The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders states you can be diagnosed as early as 18 years old.
Why the bloody hell didn't you look this up, and get your facts straight before shooting your mouth off, and making yourself look an oboxious jerk. It is not difficult.
Furthermore why would she be lying, anyway?
Being faithful with someone does not really mean much with borderlines, they still choose co-dependents or narcissist. My sister also is faithful to his man, but its a sick relationship still. And it just takes more time for it to unravel. They are not real relationships at all. Like my mother was faithful to my father, had 4 kids.. but the relationship was not a real relationship. As there were no real emotional contact. Nothing to be celebrated, its exactly these types of "successful" BPD relationships that lead to children that have to deal with all the abuse they throw at you.
Only thing it means, that she has found a sick enough man for her. Its the worst case scenario. As it means they are both sick.
Thank you , subbed. I just want to express my gratitude to professionals such as yourself that offer so much helpful insight to the people at no cost. There are many good people in this world still.
You are quite welcome!
I got diagnosed with BPD a year ago, and the last few days was so angry and aggressiv. Also depressed. What caused me chest pain too. After my 3 days of rage, i feel really numb. I just wish there were a pill to take...
No Pills.pills are bad Mmmmkay? They just numb u and brainwash u. We already have identity issues, having something to change ur mood like that becomes addictive cause we not actually doing the work to change and since we have weak sense of self we start to think we good now. Trust me I was smoking a lot of weed, it might seem it helps at first, just makes it worse
Sara Wolffuchs - I have read thousands upon thousands of comments about this problem. The empirically best chances of healing seem to be when the subject turned for help to God and Jesus Christ. It seems like the power of Jesus Christ is able to turn away the invisible influences on the subject from the spiritual world.
@@ReformedWhiteKnight utter nonsense
I was in a relationship a few years ago with a man who seemed to manifest all the signs of borderline personality. He was subject to bursts of explosive rages. I have seen him literally scream the place down over the slightest thing. I was terrified of him when he got like that and would get out of the room. Once he blew up at his mum over the phone, I was so shocked. He had this jekyl and hyde temperament: one minute he was nice, the next he would verbally attack me in a sneering and sarcastic way, without any prompting at all. And no matter how many times it happened I never saw it coming. Consequently I would always be watchful and on my guard. I was the appeaser or placator, but it never worked because sooner or later he blew up. The other thing about him was that there was no real closeness or getting to know him: he kept what I call an angry distance. When I tried to talk with him about himself he would shut down by saying "Change the subject". On those occasions when I talked about my own concerns he would use it as evidence against me later on. I learnt not to trust him. It always became an issue if I said 'no' (however politely) to any of his requests: he would blow up and become abusive, then sulk and ignore me for a long time afterwards. I would be gobsmacked whenever he would accuse me of having done something that he himself had actually done (I called it projection at the time). He was very sociable, had many drinking buddies. They would tell me how wonderful and kind he was. They only saw the nice side whereas I also saw his very dark side.
He’s narcissistic. He probably has Narcissistic personality disorder. NPD. Such people don’t seek help cos they see nothing wrong in them!
He is a narcissist...
I have a lot of triggers...but I get mad when I'm overwhelmed, sleep deprived and stressed out...or I don't get time to myself and too many people around me all the time ( I've already been diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic features, but I think I have this too)
from someone with severe BPD that has completely destroyed their life over at least 3 decades now i can tell you where it comes from... confusion.. ...confusion as to who i am, what i want, when i feel im being kind and interacting properly being told the opposite, when people are rude to me but apparently that's acceptable rudeness but my rudeness is not, of modern society and how absolutely insane it is yet everyone just carries on, at social norms, being rejected, having good intentions but still failing etc etc etc etc etc, underneath it is anger stems from confusion
Thank you. I've been diagnosed in the last 2 months with BPD after 16 years of being treated for depression, your videos are helping me and my family understand my 'condition' better :-)
I have BPD too but and I want to know more about it mainly about behaviour .Is there any way to have a chat with you?
Good luck James 😀
I was terrified after my diagnosis, but it was the best thing that ever happened. Knowing what was going on meant I could deal with it. I hope it helps you too.
Dr. Grande, Your videos contain large quantities of valuable useful content. Thank you for the time and effort that you put into these videos.
Watching the old "floating head" season of dr grande is as coolly nostalgic as watching an old dr who episode
My first wife had extreme anger issues to the point she’d tell me to leave, (sometimes lasted months) and if I didn’t, she’d get physically violent. Every time she felt slighted in any way, she’d ruminate over every single thing that I did that made her feel that way in the past. We had a son together and that’s the only thing that kept us together for 9 years. But for my sanity, I divorced her.
Also, her entire family was BPD. Most of them committed suicide. My ex never appeared suicidal, just angry.
B Green I hope your son did not inherit this. Did your ex acknowledge her disorder? If so, why have kids? My sister has severe disorders. She had 2 children and gave away both at birth to different families. Both have mental issues despite different environments so this leads me to believe this is indeed a genetic trait and hopefully these 2 girls do not reproduce because the symptoms are miserable both for them and everyone around them.
nicolaxoxo1 I noticed you left this comment 3 weeks ago, but I just received a notification on it this morning.
No. None of her family was diagnosed and they were totally unaware. One day several years ago, her only surviving sister showed up at my grand daughter’s birthday party and she made the comment, “I think K... (my ex-wife) is bi-polar.” And my response was like, “Duh. Your whole family is bi-polar.” I never saw her again. Today, I think more along the lines of BPD. Even my ex, didn’t exhibit any outward signs of mental disorder until 2 years into our marriage, so I had no way to know. She was 29 then. I didn’t have a trained eye and didn’t see it in the family either. It seems people have some control over that kind of thing, when it suits them.
I’ve seen no symptoms in either my son, or grand children, so far.
Hello Dr. Grande , I just wanted to say that I went to Mass today , and took communion for the first time in a long time...it was a very uplifting and joyful experience ❤hope you are well !
Again accurately and informative , these topics from you are valuable beyond belief , both to the sufferer and close family friends and love partners .
To understand the disorder you have to educate yourself , people sometimes assume that people with these signs/symptoms are bad people they are not in my experience, if you know of or you yourself have it help is required to make a difference to your own life but those around the BPD .
Remember if you know of someone or you yourself suffer there are choices , it's unbelievably hard for someone with BPD to get help because of the symptom criteria .
Non BPD's if you have observed not absorbed and see clear indication through patterns we have a choice too , stay or leave .
Thank you very much for taking the time to create these informative videos. I really enjoy the calm and matter of fact way you speak and I have learned a lot from you. Please keep up the excellent work!
You're welcome!
In my humble opinion, the cause of anger in BPD is the same as the cause of anger in children. It's their incapacity to integrate certain uncomfortable realities of life within their level of mental development (which tends to be fantastical and detached from cold reality - at least compared to the average adult person). It's cognitive dissonance of sorts.
They crave and demand love, attention, care and commitment - yet other people do not generally live just to fulfill that need (they have their own priorities). :)
So you're saying they fail to develop mentally, they are adults with childish emotional development. Like they never get past terrible twos. They want total attention and praise and have tantrums when they don't get their way? They consider themselves to be credible, rational adults, but behave like spoiled children. They justify their anger in the most childish, nonsensical ways, yeah, I'd have to agree with you, as long as we stipulate to a preschool mental development.
Czech MGTOW it could be they were really desire said love and attention bc they never got any as children
The lack of proper nurture as a child almost keeps the person from developing an identity of self and personal self-esteem to further them along in life as a whole, confident person. Any little bump in the road of life they simply can't handle and it puts them in a tailspin.
Thank you very interesting and spot on with our daughter, she was DX with BPD and Bipolar last year, things are calm right now but they have been a living nightmare.
Angry when I feel powerless.
Every thing u spoke up, it all connects with me. I literally got an anxiety problem and paranoia problem when my depression became LTD. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a Personality Disorder and it made sense Bc when I rage, I’m completely a different person in nature. I always had thoughts of hurting the ppl who would trigger me. Idk if I have BPD but I’m sure I probably am.
Im so angry right now im crying .
artavia boyd ❤️
I recommend Dr. Timothy Marshall. He holds a PhD in neuropharmacology from the University of Arizona School of Medicine. I was diagnosed bipolar at age 18. Just now I am finding out I have very low cholesterol, low B12, iodine deficiency, extremely low Vitamin D, high Calcium and high Cortisol. (And most likely Magnesium and Zinc issues). He follows the same protocol and recommendations that MIT, Cornell educated Dr. Kelly Brogan follows.
Francesca Hunter thank u!!!
When I don't set consistent boundaries, and people cross the line repeatedly, or if I feel that I have been lied to or kept in the dark, I will either turn inwards or outburst. As a kid, I would chop down trees to get the frustration out. Communication issues are the base of most interpersonal conflicts.
A minor thing can make my husband go from calm, to out of control anger in a matter of seconds. It's terrifying I fear for my life, in the past he has attacked and beaten me.
One of his games is to hold me captive in his car and terrorise me, because he is so out of control I am very aware we could easily crash.
I was married to one and i'm still recovering from her 5 years later. she still text me from different numbers saying HELLO! I never reply. No one can EVER tell me to go to hell, I've been there and I'll never EVER OPEN THAT DOOR EVER AGAIN! Not never, NOT EVER!
I wonder who has bpd further back in my family if there is a genetic component. My mom fits every symptom and it is absolute hell being around her, especially as the scapegoat kid (younger sister is the golden child.)
“There is a general tendency for symptoms to remit over time”
Can you elaborate on this and discuss studies? I can say my sister is 100% worse over time but this could be in part to effects of some of her meds. I often wonder if her Dr (NOT a mental health professional) even is aware of my sister’s anger issues. I suspect not. My sister is capable of seeming “normal” or merely depressed and anxious. I doubt she displays the full scale blow ups to her Dr.
wondering how can a patient ever be accurately diagnosed if the only criteria is a very brief interview by the doctor and no interviews with people who are in frequent contact with the patient?
Yup
angry all the time BPD is so awful my Father passed it down gee thanks PLUS really awful living like this
If someone with BPD is angry at me, how can I change that? How can I change that he sees me as the “bad one”? He has completely blocked off
My ex fiancé has BPD. Anytime he didn’t get his way, he’d verbally assault me/throw things.
My mother has BPD. She's too difficult to be in contact with. I also have CPTSD because of her, so my sympathy well has run very dry with BPD.
your the first person ive watched that made reference to the percentage of BPDers who might have used a weapon during there life time ..... this is so true as a lot of times BPDers like to dismiss the chance of that happening and think its more a NPD or ASPD ...... even though they say you can't be diagnosed with BPD till your older and i wasn't officially diagnosed yet they labeled it as conduct disorder but in perentacies had (BPD,NPD,HPD) the whole reason i landed in lock up for 4 years was the anger aspect of my bpd as these symptoms lasted all the way till now and didn't mellow out form lock up 13 till i was 30 ... at 13 i caught a fellony menacing charge for chasing my sisters with a knife ...... and like you said i shame my self about ti often and even after it happened part of why i couldetn calm down was how shameful i felt after i did it i had disassociated when it happened and was watching it all happen like a movie with now cognitive control my body did what it wanted to and though i screamed stop in my head my body wouldn't listen ....... even to know though i can take control to not be violent when I'm angry and have tipped past the point i should have already separated i have to yell till i run out of steam and it drives me nuts ...... my current therapist did a hostility scale test on me and I've gotten so much better but one thing i found interesting is i scored above the stander median on........ resentment ....... and often wonder if this is true with most borderline rage is it filled in feelings of resentment and till the person with BPD starts to anolize it and see it for what it is they will continually fall victim to uncontrolled rage when hit with rejection sesativity or abandonment right .... even splitting will get better as it has with me all when i started accepting the resentment as a big fuel for my anger ...... really good video
Thanks to my BPD condition, I have just lost my temper playing a video game. I've tried numerous times to accomplish a particular mission that should be straight forward. I keep failing.
I lost it, and threw a wooden board into my kitchen, not expecting it to break anything. It rebounded off the floor and smashed the glass front on my oven door.
Common sense told me to switch the game off, and do something else, but I've been doing this over the last few days, and I wanted to progress with the game.
So I've been taking particular care to achieve the mission, utilising my skills. Nonetheless, I keep failing on things that I know I don't fail on, usually. But the game manufacturers skewed it like that to make me (and others) look a cunt.
Now my oven door is smashed. My controllers are probably smashed, including the rechargeable batteries. There is mess all over my living room floor where I upturned a table. And I'm hoping that Valium kicks in fast before I do anything else stupid.
Just because of a f'ing video game...sad.
Can you get on some mood stablizers? I am not being mean or anything but this kind of anger and impulse issue must affect your relationships with friends. It must make you feel horrible after the fact when it is over and done with. Not to mention the expense of replacing a broken item. I would worry about harming a person in the rage as well. Can you see someone to help with this?
The anger is a direct result of the not being born with the blueprint to uniquely react.If it were possible for a normal well adjusted person to suddenly lose their unique blueprint would still have their identity,but would suddenly develop all the symptoms that we have having lost their core anchor that makes their thought unique.We are trapped in a mind that can absorb, process,compute data,but we are void of the part that tells us what to do with it.The frustration of that alone would tend to make anyone angry, especially if no one else could relate.They were born with that part.
Sir,life can become a mess with BPD anger .only a person who encountered can tell .
for sure. and mostly those who have loved a bpd. I am not always sure about the other way around
@@frankboothfb6587 I hate being damaged like this belive me. It's not fun at all and erry day a struggle. No one loves me tho so I'm not ruining anyone's life thank god
@@frankboothfb6587 BPD ruin there own life more
When I feel powerless in wat would normally be a regular situation and I feel a normal person could handle the situation with ease which makes me feel even more powerless . Also when I feel vulnerable. Prety sure I'm bpd but no diagnosis
It's horrible but it can make u strong
I kept zoning out for like half of the video, but I got the overall info so thanks
Mine must be environmental as my symptoms like anger have only in recent years become an issue although I was never assaulting someone muchless use weapons. I have thrown things though. My sister on the other hand has chased me with kitchen utentisals and assaults me regularly but my mom and her accuse me of being the bipolar one. Meanwhile my mom over looks all the assults my sister has done to me. Standing there and watching but once I start fighting back my mom jumps in to stop the fight and hold me back from hurting her perfect little golden child. And then I get accused of being the one with the mental illness despite my little sister always being the bipolar one who attacks people and has huge and I mean HUGE mood swings.
BPD mentally wears me out. It sucks the life out of me.
that's why Im afraid of a person I know who has that ... it's really scary when he gets angry ... and it's easy to get him there :/
Thanks for sharing … great information!
Eating super clean, high plant based diet and fitness help with this- imo. One has to also do daily self awareness practices- a Kundalini meditation can help all of us deal! I am not dr. G but I believe in these healthy life choices help us cope!
Thank you very much; as always, you are the best Doc. out here helping so many.
You're welcome! Thank you for your kind words -
Very poised words , informative .
Thank you Dr. Grande.😊
Thanks for the upload
What do people with BPD get angry about that other people don't get angry about?
Thank you doctor for your work❤
You caught my attention with this one I am curious very curious because I have borderline personality disorder and comorbid bipolar to PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder
Danielle Pitmon my daughter have BPD, we support her.. the most important.. she knows had BPD, so... believes in faith, hoping in pray.. value in patient .. thats all help her to accept the conditions
Many of the videos I see regarding BPD focus on pointing out the symptoms of BPD and character flaws. I wonder if you can make a video about good things/traits etc people with BPD posses inspite of their symptoms or because of their symptoms.
Can someone with bpd ALWAYS be angry? Try to deal with someone who seems angry all the time. Has a fear of being abandoned for sure. But always has to yell and scream over the smallest and meaningless things. Acts like a know it all too. Can't talk to them at all.
50% genetics? Could you elaborate on why researchers think so? I don't know much to do about how the brain/dna functions with mental illness. Through my learning of mental illness I'm first simply trying to learn how to relate it to my life and others to get a better understanding. But I see in children that they copy everything. Most of parenting I think is done by leading by example. Even things they pick up in school could surprise their parents when they get home. And this is prevalent in adults, too. You are the company you keep. Could you help me understand the genetic component to this?
I think it must be partly genetics. Because there are people who have been around or a target of abuse and seen neglect in their life but some people react and handle them differently futher in life. Most personality disorders have the same kind of enviromental background so the only thing that must explain different kind of reactions further in life must be to some extend genetics? I think there are people who mostly think it is like 60% enviroment and 40% genetics but there are no defenitive answers to the presentage.
Great video! ❤️
( would like to think... after being evaluated, by PRACTICING students.) = The more sessions I do with someone, the LESS I think seems valid. --- perhaps what helps a whole lot, is simply DISTANCE ONESELF away from a particularly BAD ROLE MODEL. Once you learn 'better habits' - you'll most likely not AUTOMATICALLY make disturbing choices.
Thanks !!!
I'm afraid my nephew is both a narcissist and now because of the "anger aspect".... which caused him to get arrested and face criminal charges... (domestic violence !! He and his girlfriend had a fight that involved knife holes in the wall, broken glass mason jars on the floor they broke furniture they rolled around on the floor like animals pulling each other's hair biting and scratching, there was blood on the floor...and bleeding from her cheek below her eyes.... then she called 911 . ).... I'm afraid he is both a narcissist and also has a borderline personality !! I watched both of your videos and he fits
.... both descriptions to a T .
I think this has been interfering with his life and will prevent good and create a continual disaster !!
Can people be both ????
Can he have a borderline personality and be a narcissist as well ???
He's a covert narcissist for sure !! But that doesn't account for his violence,
..... but the borderline personality does. Oh my God !!! Things don't look good !!
Im dealing with this currently its very very true what hes saying and even harder to deal
With if you love the person. And theyre 💯 resistance to any help
Refuses to admit powerlessness
DBT therapy plus hormones hemp
I wonder if the genetic component of anger is a combination of heightened sensitivity and low frustration tolerance? Or is there an elemental anger component in temperament, akin to the "Death Drive" of Freud?
SK good question, more research is needed. However Freud said that his theories were provisional and that with a true neuroscience, they would fade away. Now that we have the fMRI isnt it time for psychodynamicism to just die? I, for one will happily dance on its grave!
SK - How about ‘familiar spirits’ playing a role rather than genetics....
Doctor Grande I love your videos as a therapist this is also quite confusing the complexity of the Triad. If one sees love-bombing devaluing and devaluing on a daily basis along with frustration so intense it can nearly make them cry does this point to borderline personality disorder narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial. The excessive need to dominate manipulate did you feel Superior seems to be narcissistic but I sense and many relationships that I've experienced a mix almost like a hybrid tell me a little bit more about someone who constantly belittles can love bomb did you just enough to keep you coming back what kind of person is are we dealing with
Great lecture!
Thank you -
You, Dr Les Carter, Richard Crannon and Sam Vankin, discussing malignancy....
Now that would be a vid😃
It's not that I'm angry all the time (I am) it's that I have an excellent bullshit detector, and the world around me and the people I see are full of shit. It is impossible to address art, politics, religion and the human condition without some rage coming out.
Thanks Doc.
You're welcome!
I am borderline. Only recently diagnosed by a therapist. I get angry (rage) when I feel like things are out of my control. The root source of my anger is my adoption. But there's two sides to it. Not only was I abandoned by my biological parents, but I was raised in a highly critical environment where money and religion (Mormon) created an unhealthy environment for me. I feel like I'm paying for my parents' sins.
Many symptoms of BPD is also DID criteria.
The cause is very simple.Us BPD were not born with an identity blueprint to ground and guide our thoughts.If for example, A person were to suddenly lose this vital blueprint at any age,they would suddenly behave as we do.All these symptoms we exhibit are a normal reaction to not having our own identity identity. If you were not born with a unique blueprint to build an identity with.You can not develop one.we can be just as intelligent ,non the less this void At birth naturally brings on the intense emotional pain we feel .Normal people can’t possibly relate because they were born with this.Frankly, had I been born with one,I couldn’t be around BPD people.No one can relate to a Nowhere Man no matter how much empathy they may have.
The inability to articulate strong emotions to those who lack emotional depth (normies).
My boyfriend's mother who has BPD... the only trait, symptom or whatever u want to call it that has lessened over time is probably promiscuity. She's 55 and her bpd, etc has only gotten worse every year things like the anger, reckless impulsive behavior, harming herself, how she treats herself n esp how treats others etc etc. So I guess she is an exception to the research/studies out there that are saying that bpd n its symptoms and the disorder in general gets better as they age. We as her family and 1 single friend she has feel helpless no matter how much we are there for her, encourage her to get help, try to help her get better/feel better or what not... nothing works. Even doctors, interact, dbt, cops, etc have not been to help or aren't doing enough. We are afraid at rate things are going she won't see 56 yrs old n definitely not 60. :'-(.
I have BPD, I am 46 years old and I feel as time has gone on it has gotten worse, especially the anger part. I believe it's due to lack of support and also continuous run in's with abusive people throughout my years. I've been in and out of therapy since I was a kid and I can't say it has ever really helped me. It is a very complex condition and unfortunately I do not feel therapists are trained enough to know how to help. With the Mom, all you can do is just try to support her the best you can, inevitably it is solely up to her to seek the help she is needing. I am currently taking Amitriptyline for the severe depression(suicidal ideation) and self abuse, it has helped me a lot. I even went off it for a little bit for I thought i was fine without it, but boy was I wrong. This condition is a chemical imbalance and without something in place to help balance it, things will only get worse. I hope she finds a good doctor that will help her or you may be right in regards to how far she is able to make it. Trust me when I say we have absolutely no control over the negative behavior that stems from this condition, it is hell to live with this..
What about meds? I have received more help through pharmaceutical avenues than anything else. especially anti anxiety meds, even baba Kenton helps in higher doses
I get angry when people eat food off my plate. I know , sharing is paramount and my selfish behavior is not a favorable trait . Is this trait anger?
Great video but how do I get better
I'm basically borderline borderline, like I always score high when I get tested.
Well those three times that happened.
Like girl, you score high on the symptom list but not high enough.
Like one or two things that are required but I don't fit it (completely).
So yeah borderline borderline, so to say.
But I get why people who have it would get angry, usually afraid of abandonment and rejection can lead to anger of ofcourse.
Which he said a minute after I wrote that down lol.
Of course you know better than I, but would environmental conditions trigger genetics or the other way around? Like having genes for heart disease, but your habits are what triggered them into action?
My dad has BPD or NPD. Some of the things he said to me just feels so much more narcissistic. And then I realize the way he treated my brother bc my brother refused to kiss his ass. He only liked me cuz I never told him how I really felt. Now he’s gone, I’m suffering from BPD, and I’ll never be able to tell him how I really feel :(
This shit sucks but it’ll get better, I have to believe that
I get really angry seeing how people treat each other...
This is nice how can we work on it.
Causes of anger in BPD, a two year old trapped in an adult body
I find that I get very irritable quickly I'm trying to come my Prozac because I felt like it was making me irritable
How can I get rid of my anger with my BPD
The only time my severe rage comes out is when people steal from me & abuse me!! I’ve pretty much have had to cut everyone I know.. (mainly my family members) out of my life!!
Here's the thing, my BDP sibling sees abuse in every slight, real or imagined, then inflicts over the top, punishment. If someone got better grade they were being abusive. If they bought a better house or got a better job, or drove a better car, they were being abusive. I'm not talking about bragging, I'm talking about simply possessing something "better". To most people it would look like simple jealousy, but my sibling saw it, or explained it as, they were being abusive. I bet your family is either a pack of monsters, or relieved.
Not being understood, or not listened to but unfortunately 90% with people I really like or love. Which is truely the worst of the illness.
Love u dr. Grande
If i have met 6 of these criteria is it more than likely that i have BPD?
Never felt abandoned, but I still locked in psychiatric UCU for 14 months.
I d9nt think I'll ever be ALRIGHT. I've been holding all of th8s is foe over 50 years. And the fun y thi g is I look like a friendly happy neigh or, always hoping people, a real.pekple pleaser..no one knows how BAD I feel because of the things I was forced to endure throughout my entire childhood and teen age years...
I usually get angry because I’m not allowed to get angry at people. Somebody does something small and I get upset I can’t say anything about it or people think I’m a spaz or I end up pushing people away. So I keep it bottled up which makes me feel so much worse.
I get angry from a past experience
Hmmm, heres my take on the PHYSIOLOGICAL reasons. Somebody pulls the carpet out from underneath my feet resulting in one or more of the FUCKING FOLLOWING:
1. My Brain feels like its about to burst (which can include the near onset of vertigo or pounding migraine headache or stroke)
2. My Heart starts pounding complimented with immediate high blood pressure.
3. The air I'm breathing feels like there is no oxygen in it and my lungs feel tight.
4. Nausea
Now, people generally focus on semantics, personal history of trauma, thought-related causative/underlying factors but guess what boys and girls THAT ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH TO GET YOU PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!
"Fear" ....................
talk about fear in physiological terms (the immediacy of what's happening to you IN THE MOMENT and how those factors could spill over into a trip into the emergency room (or worse!) ) So youre not just afraid of how someone stabbing you in the back is gonna hurt you in the future, it's also considering that based on something that just doesnt feel right in the PRESENT MOMENT (hunch, intuition......hauntingly so).
im living at home with my parents, if I don't get my way or parents don't give me attention I go to my room barricade myself in my room, and also on Friday my mum said my siblings know im a trouble maker and I started screaming so loudly it was like a hysterical scream with crying at the same time and I always think there neighbours are talking about me and I socially withdrew myself from people if Im not getting attention and I self harm a lot I I have (fuck it) in my inside leg and left and right arms, overdosed 3 times this year, and we have to move house because having neighbours has caused us problems not just cause of my paranoia but i know they are judging me and this causes me even more to have meltdown,
So angry over not being able to organise things afraid of being attacked at night feel treatened by people if they not giving mevthe right attention i fear they dont like me or care about me.
Could you analyze people like Byron Katie?