Though it may seem hard to believe, men's predominant romantic fantasy - at least when it comes to their sexual relationships with women - is partnership. Despite what they may say, most women don't want an equal partner - they want men who will significantly improve the quality of their lives. And it is very difficult - if not impossible - for a man to simultaneously be an equal partner and a better option. While partnership is possible, it's typically easier for most men to have that kind of relationship with other men than with a woman. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ruclips.net/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/видео.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #marriage
I agree with everything else: Muffin on muffin marriages of a 75% divorce rate. Muffin on eggplant 50% divorce. Eggplant on Eggplant have a 25% divorce rate
Hi Dr. Taraban, Egoic triggering and trauma can be listed as a few **fears** (I prefer "challenges") 1. Abandonment/ need egoic love (proving "good enough") 2. security / safety 3. control / $ / shelter / food Every event that "hurt you" was in there. (Remember only you can 'take' offense). But if we realize that our reality is a timeless unconditional Love materialized.. if you're present and with this love of Source / Universal / All that is energy in you're heart - *YOU ARE PROTECTED ALWAYS IN ALL AREAS*. Thanks
great video, you always say what gets stuck in men's throat. I've been thinking a lot about the topic and you just expressed it exactly in the way it was in my mind. Cheers
My wife married me when I was unemployed and stayed with me for TWO years while I was unemployed and five more years while I was under-employed. She also, during that hard time, made two babies with me, on purpose. We have been married 16 years now and in that time, on two different occasions, she has sat with me in the hospital while I was sick, one of those, for three weeks while she barely left the room because I was on death's door. I have found a good one, but I was married twice before, and I can say from personal experience that most women are not as good as mine.
Thanks for sharing this real life counter-narrative; faithful, loving women are all around but too often modern men are over prioritizing physical appearance and image status over genuine integrity and loyal values. Also thanks for admitting that it took you 2 relationships to clearly identify which attributes to prioritize when selecting a life mate. Great story 👏 👏👏
Hi, woman here. I can definitely see your point that women leave when things get tough, but that's not always. I don't even know a woman who would leave her husband bc he's broke/gains weight/has health issues. The issue comes when the man is dealing with the stress of these issues. Because of the stress, men become withdrawn and impatient and this is actually what makes a woman want to leave. Men push partners away or turn to their friends which hurts the woman. Men focus on their problems and push their partners away instead of letting their partners in and trying to nurture the relationship. Sometimes it just gets too much for the woman and that's why she leaves.
I have to agree with this. We also want partnership but there has to be a bottomline of care, respect, consideration and, in my case, confidence that the problem can be overcome. I have stuck with ex boyfriends through very tough times and left when I felt they didn't want to connect with me anymore, or when I saw them completely lose their confidence or attitude towards resolving issues. It isn't as simple as "we just want to gain from men"
I was going to say the same thing but you've done so already. It's not that women leave or want to leave when going gets tough, but men can turn into jerks and their personality changes for the worse and interactions with them is like going to the dentist to get your teeth pulled.
Well, my ex wife certainly thought of that way. She left me just about when our struggles of early child raising, the pandemic and more was coming to an end. Just when things were looking on the up and up, she decided to leave. She cited that she felt drained and anxious all of the time. Powerless to prevent whatever was happening around her. She quickly moved on aswell and it seems like she is enjoying her life again. More power to her. But I felt like hard times would have created a bond between us, instead, what I realised was that it caused us to separate and she was mentally checked out by the time the marriage ended.
There is another category of women also worth mentioning. The women that are looking for genuine partnetships but are afraid of being used and taken advantage of. I think this resonates with many women of various economic statuses. Ofcourse a man of a higher economic status, lessens the resistance. No one wants to be with someone who's only with you because of money, man or woman.
I was in that category for a long time. My dad is a giver to a fault and luckily found a woman who is especially frugal and feels bad spending money. I grew up with a mix, wanting to give all of myself without spending much on me. All my past relationships liked my generosity, but nothing else about me. Thankfully there was one thing i refused to give was my v-card until i finally found mr right, and the rest filtered themselves out of my life within weeks of dating. Its funny i didnt even have to play any games because the men who would want to just use and abuse me couldn't handle 3 weeks of handholding and talking about each others hobbies and schoolwork. 10 years together and happy~
100%. At least he is honest about his inherent biases. As a fellow doctor and scientist, the selection and/or removal of my thumbs up is about 50/50 for each video. I am not in the average dating pool, never was; much of the advice simply doesn’t apply to me. Therefore, my inherent bias, as a result of my hypotheses not being disproven, still renders at least half of this content, un-useful banter, rather than exemplary scientific rhetoric on the constructs of psychosocial mating behavior.
@JeniSanMusic I totally agree. Sadly , some people will take this content as the absolute truth rather than biased opinions to their detriment. Buyer beware!
There is a good reason men believe female nature is different than it is, Men's first experience with women is their mothers which is the experience of unconditional love (if they were good mothers), but we find out later that women in relationship are totally different and do not love unconditionally and it's a hard thing to accept, just like Chris Rock said, "Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provide something".
Speak on it. Sometimes I think my wife does too much for our sons (pampering) but in the end she can do as much as possible so long as they understand that no other will love them at that same level. This is why it's so easy for a single mother to send her adult son into the world unprepared.
Sadly, my husband's mother was horrible... she actually seemed to hate him from the moment of birth. Extremely devastating, and he was a good boy/teen/ young man! He was never good enough on her eyes, even when he took care of her in her old age. I never knew her, she died long before we married. His goodness is despite her, not because of her. He very easily could have done the opposite of everything he did and been an awful person. I respect the hell outta him!
That is why in Bible it is said that woman respects man, not love. Men cheat to much, to give them hearts, women give their bodies and bebies, isn't that enough?
I think a woman who loves a man will stick by him when he's down...but she will leave him if she sees he doesn't want to get up, and forces her to provide for him and her children by herself. Now, there may be reasons why he doesn't want to get up - depression, low self esteem, etc. - but if he isn't doing anything to address these, then he is not being a partner himself, but becomes a(nother) child to her.
But what if he is just a bit burnt out because he has been literally carrying her emotionally, physically, and financially for over a decade? a.k.a. she was the 'other' child in the family unit for most of their marriage. Doesn't seem right for her to just dump him, or shame him, the moment he isn't being that cash-cow that she expected him to be until death-do-they-part.....
A healthy woman stays where she feels safe, cherished and loved (financially and emotionally) obviously different things make every women feel like that
I guess I'm just lucky. Married 30 years and we have had some rough times and she has always supported me. Twenty years ago I quit my job to start my own business. It took me two years to be profitable with my new business. We had to monitor our spending much more carefully during this time period. She never once complained! She was along for the ride and supported me in my decision to start my own business. Partner-type women may be rare, but they do exist.
No man should assume he hit upon the rare one. A man thought her wife was a rare gem for 22 years of marriage and then he was down on the luck (job loss) and she left him.
@@rayrwyr the majority of women that are just randomly leaving their husbands are undergoing hormonal changes and perhaps they were just oblivious to it. Couple should just understand that as you go into your early to mid 40s, there’s going to be turbulence.
Change your outlook despite your "experience" and you'll attract that RARE girl. If you really believe that most women just want to benefit then that is all you will encounter in your experience. Thank you for your videos. I genuinely appreciate them.
If you're steadfast in your approach, you won't let women use you like that, & you'll know to look in the right places. You don't find a partner for life on Tinder.
I guess this begs the question, if men have to accept that a woman may leave if he falls down, why should men tolerate staying in a relationship with a woman who loses her beauty?
They shouldn't. Basic expectations that should definitely be directly conveyed at the start is that both people will maintain their weight and looks to match when they met (outside of aging of course!), and keep up the sex frequency they had when dating. Does that happen though? How many couples do we all know where one just gave up and got fat? Or shut down completely and now they just hang out alone at opposite ends of the house?
Why see that as retribution? What is there to be tolerated when you simply lose attraction for your partner? The mental bullshit is in the man's head of your scenario. Relationships are not meant to last a given amount of time, even less perpetually. They last as long as they should, which is as long as both continue to benefit reciprocally according to each individual's terms. You leave whenever you realize it stopped working. Not for revenge or for "you are old" petty type arguments. Simply because it no longer works for you. You break up as gracefully as possible, with the awareness that this should be done to you as well if what you bring to the table is no longer good enough for her. The point here is to cleanse your mind from the idea that relationships are meant to aim at perpetuity as the only morally acceptable option. Good luck integrating that truth to your mind, when you are in love and good luck enacting that in your life when others depend on you. Far easier said than done.
Spot on. The first time I got laid off while married to my wife, I waited for over a week before I told her. She found that puzzling. I'd done that so that by the time I told her, I'd already fully processed the bad news on my own, and had become ready to fully handle it on my own without expecting any specific reaction from her side (Yes, that includes sticking with me). I was actually transparent with her when I addressed her puzzlement. I told her that it is my belief that men and women are wired differently, and that as a man, life teaches you the hard way that you can't afford to offload your burdens onto anyone else and expect that to go well (a women's privilege that most of them take for granted). My wife belongs to that rare tier that Orion added as a caveat. She's so mature and I never felt her faltering, but I know that I too do my homework, and I doubt it would have gone the same if I had been too complacent. Orion is on point about this. As man, there is that subtext that requires you to be "the rock" in the relationship, whether it is written with visible or invisible ink, you know it is there in the deal between you and your woman.
Honestly, in my experience, most men do not actually understand that they are supposed to be the rock. The only rock. Most men are sucked into the false notion that both partners are promising to be each others’ rocks. Hence the purpose of this video.
@@TheRomans9Guy Agreed. When I was younger, I had an ex that was always telling me to open up and confide in her more. The first time I really opened up and told her about a struggle, she mocked me for it. 🙄
@@TheRomans9Guy If she isn't my rock, I don't really have a use for her. I'm an introvert (Myers Briggs personality type) and "alone" is my default happy state. Love is a disruption of that, nothing I would welcome. But should I fall in love with someone once again, I know I won't see it that way. But in the here and now, were I don't love someone, that's how I feel. I hope to not fall in love again.
@@olafweyer859 a man must be a woman's immovable, unbreakable mountain. If you're a man and you expect your woman to be that role, you'll fail in every romantic relationship you ever have.
you don’t need to convince me. as soon as you said “partnership” my heart melted. this is what i want. we met when we weren’t making much and built one another up. He decided to marry me because he knows i have his back at the end of the day.
Imagine you have four friends. You regularly go out with them to the club and you always pay for the drinks because they complain that they have no money and it doesn't bother you because you are not alone and you have friends and you have some money. That's how you do it every month. You have financial problems for one month. You tell them that you have no money, but that you can go to the club because you don't want to be alone and to clear your head. Suddenly they are always busy so they can't go. One night you happen to see all four in another club having fun. Do you have four friends or were you alone all the time without knowing it?
Bruh that's a weird ass imagination you have😂 This is unfathomable in my circle or culture. And if it happens we don't cry, just pay a visit with a baseball bat. White ppl gone wild on hedonism 😂
I'm a woman. I grew up watching my dad being that version of male as you describe in this video and my mum as the typical women you describe. It didn't make me to be like my mum, as witness to that helped me to conclude tqo be in being a happ oy and enjoyable relationship requires both genders trying their best to make it work, to grow together whether it is financially, ethically or putting in the effort in being physically attractive / fit. For me what makes a man attractive is not their money but their character, their direction in life and their desire to pursue a goal worthwhile. And that they make money not to attract a woman but thing they do inspires them and makes them come alive; they go to the gym not to look good for the ladies but that they're interested in health and having a body that is useful and agile. While in my experience it has been rare and close to none to find men who has direction and strength in character, most men pursue money and success without really having a worthwhile reason that aligns with their value and core. I personally prefer to embody those traits I find attractive and prefer to be partnerless as looking for a man as described is futile. Despite that said im in a happy relationship and he is my best friend 😅
I was married back in 2000, divorced in 2009. Had completely forgotten why I'd entertained it, or what the fantasy even was. Thank you for reminding me, because it was a beautiful fantasy.
Men’s problem is that they ignore the evolutionary reasons why women mate for gain and we consciously assign our masculine ideas of honor on to them. Women don’t work that way. You have to view them like a little sister that you constantly gotta maintain and protect, she is NOT your “partner” or your best friend. That’s your woman who expects you to be a certain way in order to follow you, part of that means staying your best in all aspects of life or risk her losing attraction and leaving. If you’re not ready to sacrifice your life trying to maintain this dance, you are NOT ready for marriage or a long term relationship. As a man, you don’t get to rest. Remember that.
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
Just because you never had it, it does not mean it does not exist.I am just looking for a title of my future book, because now I truly see the need to publish what I have to say.
Its impressive how logical and sensible women can be are in terms of their ability to assess and choose based on value, benefit and hypergamy. Its sad how illogical, emotional, and delusional men can be in terms of thinking they will buck the divorce trend, get married without a prenup, and thinking "she loves me for me".
Her ability to seek value, benefit and hypergamy only exists because of the foundation, structure and maintenance of a system created by men on her behalf. It's real life Wizard of Oz ..once you peek behind the curtain you see clearly the illusion.
While there are certainly women who will bail on you during the rough times (I have personal experience), there are also ones that will stick it out with you (again, personal experience). If you want a good indicator of whether a woman will stick by you through rough times, look at what kind of life she has lived so far and how she has handled it. If struggle is largely absent through circumstance or choice, she is untested in that area. Maybe she will rise to the occasion, but she is untested. If she has experienced struggle and makes every effort to avoid future struggle (which is impossible) she's probably not up for another round and there is a good chance she'll bail. If she has faced struggle and come through the other side stronger, having learned from her experience, she is more likely to deal with future struggle. These are not guarantees, but nothing is.
Women are not partners for life, they're stockholders, so when they sense that the stock is declining, they might just as well cash-in and invest on other stocks.
This is so false you have NO idea what you're talking about. My dad had prostate cancer a few years ago and became impotent due to that, my step mom stick with him. They've been married for 32 years. But my dad is a good man, he works hard and is very inteligent. Very few men measure up to him, and I can see here in the comments that weak men prefer to hate women than improve themselves: pathetic
For real man, I'm struggling with this. I've become a bit jaded and have an attitude of "why even try anymore" with women. Their entitlement, selfishness, and lack of character just makes me want to stay away. Just being brutally honest here, sex is great and all, but it just takes too much work and effort, and I can get by with porn and toys to keep that part of me satiated. The partner part would be nice, but like the video said that's really just a fantasy. Women don't want a partner they want a provider and I just can't get past that. Like life for men is hard enough as it is, we rarely have people to rely on, everything is on our shoulders. All the expectation is on us. The last thing I need in my life is a needy entitled brat that thinks they should be pampered and gatekeeps sex to get what she wants (almost all women). Social media and all the attention they get has increased this kind of behavior exponentially. Society used to have structure and gender roles for a reason. Women can't do the work men can. History shows us that with who invented, built, and conquered everything, but men need support and women have largely abandoned that role. They can't replace men, and won't do the support role anymore, so everything is crumbling.
Spot on. As a man, I’m very independent and can take care of a lot that comes my way. I married my wife because she loves me and we see a lot together through a moral lens. All I ask is that she’s there for me through thick and thin, the good and the bad. I go through enough crap day to day in life, and all I want is someone who understands and is there for me.
Men are twice as likely to leave their wives after she receives a cancer diagnosis as a woman is to leave her husband. Men may fantasize about partnership, but it doesn’t seem they’re up to holding their end of the bargain either.
Holy expletive. One Study showed the numbers could go as high as 7 times. I believe it. When I was young I used to marvel at how my buddies only cared about a woman's looks. If that negative trait doesn't go away these are guys that bail on women that are now "damaged goods"
Why would a woman leave when she is about to get all the man's wealth instead of half? It's a female dream come true! Maybe 1 woman in million divorces a dying man, so twice that would be 2 men in a million...
I got the book, halfway through. It's really really good, precise, and lots of new information. It's way more valuable than what i paid. Just want to thank you Sir
Unfortunately for some women like that, men think we are all the same. I grew up in Mexico with different values and a traditional family. My parents still together after 45 years with my dad been ill for more than 20 years. They’re a great example of what real love is ❤and I hope to continue this values with the right person.
I once worked for a company that did managed benefits and this Latino man called to ensure his wife was going to receive the care and coverage they needed. It's been almost 20 years but the humility and love he showed was breathtaking. He was on the phone in tears with gratitude. I remember hanging up and saying "if you can find someone that loves you like this man, keep them at all costs".
I've had relationships with both men and a few women (I'm a woman, btw). And I've experienced loyalty and disloyalty from both genders. But it has been noted that it is actually men that are most likely to leave their partner if they're sick, for instance.
Yup, this is what happens when you do not have a virtuous society. It creates weak men and women. We can point the fingers at one another but at the end of the day that is what it comes down to lack of virtues. Better start building those virtues and require it of your partner because both people need to be able to prove that they are worthy of each other.
@@lillyCfields How has this comment not got more likes? A lot of these problems would have been solved if we just come together to admit we have our faults we need to work on and not expect others to give when we in turn don’t do our part. At the end we are looking for a common goal to have that one person we can trust to live the rest of our lives with. Would be nice if this aspect is something that people can remember. I think we’re in a time when people find it easier to blame others cause it’s hard to be vulnerable to self evaluate if we didn’t do more. In many ways I think we lost thing cause we took those we care about for granted and have not let them feel appreciated. Most of this could have been avoided if we recenter ourselves of what our values are and to make sure we reflect that.
@@keithsmith5310 An adult has the self aware to work on themselves to bring something better to society. Go ahead and kick that can down the road and wonder why there’s a lack of good people when there is little done to foster society to think about implementing wise decisions. There’s two types of people, the type that folds when things go awry expecting others to pick them up and wails when no one rescues them from the pit they put themselves in, then there’s the ones who understand we all have our issues yet aims for the ones who can be depended on to carry through those tough times that in turn builds character. An adult has that responsibility to understand they cannot sit and wallow forever, an adult understands others depend on them. That in itself creates a society. I see less adults today and more overgrown children that are hesitant to face the idea of being vulnerable and honest with themselves. All while wanting that life to spend with someone they trust, an insightful person recognizes it starts with them, they have to build trust with others to bring forth other trustworthy people. Not chase them out with accusations and anger of needs not being met, but learn product ways to communicate what is needed in a relationship to keep it strong. It’s easier if someone has the mindset to be honest of their own shortcomings and making ways to compromise what needs to be compromised. A lack of just a few of these virtues, like self responsibility, will break down trust in any relationship.
Why if they are oh, so rational? Could it be there are still quite a few rational things in it for them? I don't buy this romantic, dewy-eyed dude. Stories men tell themselves while remaining oblivious that they are anything but romantic, on average.
This video is especially valuable because it tells the truth and doesn't shame men for having such a fantasy. It also proves that, apart from children, there is no rational reason for marriage.
And even after you marry her and you get children with her what's to prevent her from divorcing you and stealing those children away from you. My advice to men is don't get married.
Even if you have children it’s not beneficial to marry. If married and she leaves she takes half and you pay child support. If not married and she leaves you just pay child support.
Unfortunately, depending on the state they can still get half if they're living with you.... sucks...... I don't know what the answer is. Maybe you're better off having a prenup and getting married. Things have gotten really complicated@@fivebooks8498
I think it’s a lack of nuance in this. Some of us women are too loyal and will not leave in an instant even if the man get abusive and threatening towards us. We will make excuses for him and say things like he’s down on his luck etc. Eventually I left, I have no ill will towards him. I still believe in love and that most of men are good people. Bitterness will only poison your soul and mind.
When a man says "I love you", it is a promise. When a women says "I love you" it is a feeling. Feelings can change, oftentimes men learn that the hard way. The solemn wedding vow - until parted by death - is rooted in the male idealistic view of marriage.
@@manifest2203 Younger women are a preference and doesn't indicate less of a bond or depth in a man's promise. In fact men tend to prefer younger women because they're less jaded, less used and abused and more likely to, wait for it, be BETTER AT PAIR BONDING as in not leaving you for her many ex's and baby daddies. Stop being bitter and envious of younger women. If anything that preference shows how much deeper a man's love and commitment is. VS the common female preference of like "rich and 6ft" which shows they just want a sugar daddy and bodyguard.
The missing part is the cognitive disonance caused when women want to believe that they are selfless angels who would stand by their man for richer or for pooer etc. This drives them to find sufficient faults in their man to justify leaving him both in their own eyes and those of their friends.
Nailed it. They’ll provide a litany of justifications for their hypergamous behavior. Vows are thrown out the window. Integrity doesn’t exist in a mind driven by emotion.
@@AJ-ru3gl Integrity doesn't trump everything else in a mind driven by reason. Integrity is merely one means to achieve your goals, which are, ultimately and to the extent that they are conscious at all, always emotional (If you think otherwise then just recursively ask why your goals are what they are - eventually you always end up with "because that's just how I feel")
@@SmileyEmoji42You are making a false equivalency between male and female emotions, women are ruled by their emotions and when an emotion pops up, they think hey this is completely valid to feel this way, why am I feeling this way, and then point to something outside they can blame Whereas men question and reflect, that's why we show so much self restraint and question our emotions
I think this is definitely the most common scenario. I am a married woman and while I was dating my husband he lost his home and car, he rebuilt from that then when he was my fiancé he was laid off, we got married praying for the best. And despite the fact he has a masters and well qualified, he remained laid off for two years. He worked every kind of job to provide, we had two children during that time and I was the bread winner during that tough time. We struggled in many ways but the biggest struggle was his self worth because he felt he failed as a father and husband, that broke my heart but also help me understand my husband more. We survived and now he’s the provider, life is NOT easy, I hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I also come from very little and that could be why I don’t run when struggle comes my way, in fact I feel like it’s an opportunity for resilience
On our 1 year married anniversary we didn’t have a ton of money for gifts so my husband made a list of 10 things he loved about me on paper, to stay true to the tradition (so sweet!). I will always remember the number 1 on the list was faithfulness, and that I would always support him no matter what. I always thought that it was because of his unfaithful/turbulent exes in the past but in this light it totally makes sense why he values faithfulness so dearly.
Maybe It’s strange but the partnership was my romantic dream! I’m a woman. My parents were in that kind of relationship. For me it’s normal. It was opposite in my case. My ex husband married me to have more comfortable life🙈 The partnership exists indeed. I’d like to live that experience.
Most people came from a disfuntional home with disfunction rolemodels of romantic relationship, they really don't have a idea of how this is suppose to work. They also spend most of their formative years segregated, with few or none friends of the opposite sex, and so their main references of the opposite sex cames mostly fail romantic relationships. So we end up with a society with a extremely negative bias of the opposite gender and no real idea of a functional relationship, and the result is this shitshow of "man is this, woman is that" and "all relationship are purely transacional, with man buying beauty and woman getting half his money in exchange".
This so so rich because it blatantly ignores the fact that when in a marriage, women take on SO much of not only physical labor and work, but also mental load of what needs to be done. Of course she wants a man that can offer something to the table, if she is expected to do all the "normal feminine duties" that are more often that not taken for granted.
"The mental load" is bullshit women came up with to act like they are a victim. You people are constantly unhappy and find something to complain or nitpick.
Men used to justify marriage because it allowed them access to regular sex in addition to a family. These days the loneliest men are married and your family can be taken from you the moment the woman gets bored. Romance is dead, and women killed it.
@@SirShiv7 all women has ever wanted was for a man to truly just love her and her only but because of men’s nature we’ve had to just say to hell with love what can he do for me….
@@AncientSoul99 And yet men have dropped out of the dating world in numbers we have never seen, and it gets worse every year. At some point, you women are going to have to push past the delusion that you're innocent bystanders and acknowledge that you are doing something to actively drive men away that goes beyond 'we just want a good man.'
@@SirShiv7 actually the amount of good women that get dogged by men and it’s not because we pick men that are bad for us- being that you guys fake your agendas and intentions to get kewchie. Good men are rarer than “good women” most men are to weak to certain desires and lack discipline a divine masculine man has. Men are dropping out of the dating game because they can’t face their biggest fears. I.e commitment and loyalty
@@SirShiv7 I just agree that romance is epically dead but women definitely did not kill it. We love love - that’s all we think about. Men on the other hard they just think about….
@@AncientSoul99 You've already stated you've given up on marriage, why are you even arguing at all? Go live your solo life, romance doesn't matter if you've already thrown in the towel. 😂 Leave reality to those of us still actively engaged in it
I'm married to one of those rare women. Look...the gig is up. Men today are just not buying into the "she's just as powerful as you are". The trash heap of relics from yesteryear like the need for college, Politicians working for the citizenry, Trickle Down Economics grows every year and now men are tossing "Equality" onto that pile. A lot of us plan to tell our sons "DON'T" ...don't cohabitate, don't get married early, don't chase women, don't accumulate debt. Your initial adult life should be about growing yourself in every facet of life you have a sphere of control over. If you have to pay for sex it'll be cheaper in the long run.
@@suefleming I agree with this Sue. The #1 enemy of dating are Time Vampires. Suck your attention, your money and whatever they can get. Many of us used to be a member of the "I don't really have a type" when we were younger. When you're approaching the age of marriage feasibility you most definitely have acquired a "type" through experience. Avoid the land mines early.
Gentlemen understand that ladies want a man to submit to but they want to make sure they are submitting to the best man they can get. Never entertain her fantasy that she is your equal.
Only people who can’t understand cooperation talk about expecting someone else to “submt” to them. And the ones who expect it, aren’t even worthy to submt to in the first place.
@ I understand the definition of cooperation and it has little to do with equality or power dynamics. I would strongly suggest you brush up on your vocabulary, spelling, and grammar before attempting to participate in adult conversation.
@@manifest2203 men can only compeet, even with women, and when they can't, because are too small, they expect submission because... they are men, buhaha
@@ryanh9388 lol you don’t understand these things. Even if there is a power dynamic, there is still no need for anyone to submt. Take employr/emplyee. There is clear power imbalance. Both are there only bcoz it benefits them. Besides, the emplyee has the powr ti quit and switch the emplyr too. Equality doesn’t mean sameness. Mn and wmn are diff but equal. Just like diff mn are diff, but equal. Or do you think cooperation is submsion? 🤣 PS: I miss out some vowels deliberately bcoz of yt censrshp.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss_. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
@soul-etude Say where what he says is wrong and stop criticism without arguments. I am a man and agree in everything. You are a woman and you don't like facts !
For 7 years I was with my boyfriend when I was employed and he was not. I divorced him when he was at the peak of his career and I was broke because I realised he was taking me for granted and he thought I would keep tolerating his emotional abuse. He said '' why are yiu leaving me now that I have everything ''?? I said...now you have money but there's no respect. So not all women are businesswomen. We falll in love too. And stay throughout the struggle phase then it's upto the man how he behaves. Edit: the marriage was based on a very big lie. And I found out.
My first gf left me once I succeeded. We met as students. She dropped out almost immediately. I continued studying for years while she worked and supported us. Once I graduated and got a good job the power dynamic reversed. She was used to calling the shots, and had become complacent. Suddenly I could afford to call the shots too, and she didn't like it. Other women started to notice me. She could either raise her bar, or leave. She chose to leave. Maybe she interpreted my empowerment as disrespect.
Correction: I no longer had the leverage, so he wasn't treating me the same way and wasn't obeying my every command, so it felt like emotional abuse. When privilege is all you've ever known and someone takes it away, it feels like oppression.
As I watch this enthralling video, it resurrects the painful memories of my recent breakup a relationship of four years that ended just three months ago. The woman who meant everything to me decided to leave, plunging me into a vortex of heartache. Despite my desperate attempts to reconcile, I find myself trapped in a cycle of frustration and longing, unable to envision a life without her. Despite my efforts to move forward, I find solace in expressing my lingering affection for her here .
Releasing your grip on someone you deeply care about can be a formidable challenge. I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 7 year relationship came to an end. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with him, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention bring us back.
It's not woman missing but relationships with loyalty that's missing. This integration is the most important thing. Men and women who wants to stay when things gets hard.
I was in a relationship for 23 years ( 22 married). As soon as i was diagnosed diabetic, the bottom fell out. Bottom line: even if they've "proven" their devotion earlier, they can turn on a dime. Never trust a woman, trust yourself.
Wow, it's a shame it took so little for her to walk. 2 years after I divorced I also was diagnosed, but at that time, I was becoming red-pilled so it was ok in my head. My brother, life isn't fair. But life isn't over, either. Be well
@@Last_one_before_I_go Thanks. Sadly, i tried to get my nephew red-pilled after his short term marriage fell apart. he couldn't accept it and shot himself in the heart in March of 2023. One and done at age 33. Really sucks.....
@@jamespeters920 - Oh, that is so sad, I'm sorry for your family loss. How delicately a divorce is handled by both sides plays such a part in the outcome, and i can only suspect this was part in that. But we men are slow on the uptake to the realities of that. Be well.
I truly believe the fact that we’ve always lived this “fantasy” out with my man is the reason our emotional connection and chemistry is so strong. We’ve been together from our early 20s (now late 20s & early 30s) and all of our 20s we were broke as can be..but we were always content, because we helped each other out so much and kept the morale high against all odds, I am 100% certain the man will be able to be a single provider one day, as he wishes so I can stay home with our kids👌🏻 we developed the mentality of “the two of us against the world” and “together we can’t fail” and it has been a profoundly meaningful relationship all around for both of us..I actually do get a lot of judgement from some women for sticking with a guy who isn’t rich, not 6’ tall, yet I don’t personally know anyone more in love than us..
Dr your comedic skills are high this video! Men and women are not equal and therefore unable to be partners. Rather complimentary to one another which is equal on a whole❤
That's what exactly how partners are, that how you choose a partner: someone who can compansate from your own shortcomings. And also man and woman are not equal? No shit, but this imply that woman as a group are equal and man as a group are equal, when in actuallity no two individual in this world are equal, we are all different.
I wanted to elope, and my husband was on board with me. We have been together a decade now, I love him! I rarely come across women my age who chose to elope... shockingly they're all miserable... upside down world we live in.
@@moonafarms1621 Are you saying the reason your marriage has been long lasting and happy is because you eloped and didn't have a marriage ceremony? Cause that's frankly ridiculous ma'am
This one made me stop in my tracks. One thing that I’ve thought about over the years of being single is that I wouldn’t take my next partnership for granted if/when I found myself in a new relationship. Here I am, in a newish relationship and I’ll be putting this in my back pocket along with all the gratefulness. Thank you for this!
I believe this. Men are interested in partnership and women are interested in emotional connection. I heard a very wise man once say “a successful marriage is 1% love and 99% logistics” and I think that is so true. I’m a woman and desire deep emotional connection. My DH desires peace, harmony and functionality. I’ve had to adjust my thinking around that a good bit over the last 20 years. Our marriage is definitely a partnership.
As a woman I assume the same about men. My dad taught me it. My partner did the same with me. Specially cause he’s divorced. and that’s how we are both super happy with each other. We prove constantly that we’re worthy of each other’s precious time.
My dear. Don't put men in the same fickle boat with women to make yourself feel good. You can still find a shred of nobility in a condemned man than you you'd find in an upright woman.
There is no avoiding the male burden of performance. Single, married, whatever. To exist as a respected male member of society, you must be and remain useful.
This matches my own experience. I was married once, and around 2021 I was diagnosed with PTSD and I was having a really hard time coping with it. My ex changed. It was like a mask came off suddenly. She went from telling me "I'm so happy with our life together," "you're the best husband," etc., etc., to telling me I was a piece of garbage and the worst person she's ever known. I ended the marriage, but she definitely decided it was over once I demonstrated weakness (PTSD). She turned into a screeching she-demon and did everything in her power to destroy me, until I decided to actually walk out. I will never get married again.
Women loathe weak men and punish them. A man must never show weakness and vulnerability to his woman. Woman asks for emotional availability from her man and when he opens up his emotions to her, she loses all respect for him. Woman wants her man to be the rock because rock has no emotions.
Hmm, I hope you were a saint during your hard times. Because it's very easy to expect people to take in your changes but not see how your changes are affecting others.
My partner and I never got the opportunity to marry as he passed away just months before we were planning to wed. We were together 8 1/2 years. I held his hand as he left us. Marriage is sacred, but so is standing by the person you love and cherish until their final breath x
Your best episode to date, Orion. In my experience, the only woman who doesn't leave when the going gets tough is the one, who has nowhere else, or no one else to go to.
There are wonderful , phenomenal women out there that truly want a partner. You’re probably not going to find one… So grateful that I did, the second time around.
Orion mocking and exposing the wedding vows for what it is really hits home. There's really not that much mystery to relationships. Being attractive and being successful gives you all you need to have a good life, and good relationships with women.
This is the biggest lie told to men. I’ve dated attractive and successful men and walked away due to the lack of character and relational intelligence.
@Curiousmind7777 Nope , their success and wealth gave them the opportunity to at least experience you in bed - be it for 5 days, 5 months or a year; whereas you'd not have even given him the time of day had it been a broke man with good character and relational intelligence.
I wish I had someone drill these harsh realities early in my life. But then without the knowledge and sufferings I have now, I would not believe it anyway. It is just so damn difficult to NOT be a hopeless romantic.
Maybe. But if I may suggest, there are ways of having healthy productive relationships, that don't involve equality. Within that context a man can be both romantic and chivalrous. I personally think men need to be more aggressive with frame. My tired old stance is that men should assume the title of master within the family context. I believe the fundamental feminine fantasy is to be owned, but that there is a good kind of ownership. Honestly it saddens me to see so many men fighting their benevolent tendencies rather then channeling them. I have to believe that you can be a good boy, and still win. But you can't be halfhearted. You have to be willing to be unfair. You have to be willing to be bold. You have to be willing to be offensive. There is something in the essence of the spirit that allows one to dominate another. This charismatic possession can be fed through submission. Thusly any man could possess any women, if she where willing. Alas we've forgotten the practices of the spirit, and we scorn submission that most powerful of gifts. I can't quite fathom it, but I know this is where attraction happens. This is where bonds are forged. Being a good wife is not an accident. It involves deliberate self grooming. a sort a meditative brainwashing, regular physical exercise. A diet of beliefs. This isn't over. If I am to be a good man I have my work cut out for me.
A woman here. I can only talk from experience, so take my words with a grain of salt: Most women I knew, me included, want partnerships too but we realize that the definition of partnership for men is totally different than the one we envision. For example, for me partnership means mutual understanding, mutual care, helping each other with all the tasks, taking big decisions together, understanding each others mental and emotional struggles and support each other through that no matter what, share financial burdens, house chores and for those who want kids: childcare. But sadly most men's definition of partnership is pretty one-sided: is my woman supporting me through hard times? Will she stay with me if I am poor?: yes she will, she definitely will if you treat her like a partner too. If you love her unconditionally too. If you understand that she also gets tired and stressed at work. That she needs you to do your share of housework and childcare. If you understand that she needs rest just as much as you if not more. That she is not a superhuman and has limited energy. That she would also like you to cook for her and do the laundry for her and spoil her ( with care: like preparing a warm cup of tea for her without her asking you to do that, just like women do for men but they rarely notice).That's the trick. Most women I know go to extreme lengths to salvage their relationships. Me included . I put so much effort to solve all our issues to try and attain that fair partnership but it is so complicated everytime bcs most the time you don't listen to us when we explain to you that something is wrong until we realize that we are killing ourselves in the relationship. Women don't want you to make their life easier. We understand that it will most likely be more difficult then back at home with our parents or when we are single but we also don't want you to make our life a hell where we are not listened to, not accepted the way we are and overworked.
Watching all my friends and family in my generation getting married lately has made me pine for marriage myself. Thanks for helping me get over the madness.
2:28 "Power couple" gives me the man-ick. Honestly, when you hear that phrase uttered, you realise how different men and women are. No part of it appeals to me whatsoever. It's so utterly irrelevant to anything I desire in a relationship, they might as well be describing another concept completely. When you hear how important it is to a woman though it's a massive 'tell' about how discordant we are as a species.
@@hmurchison8123 Women have a variety of ideas about where power comes from. One of them is their job, certainly. Other categories include things like whatever might happen to make a friend envious. And thats principally what they're hinting at when they say "power couple". They want a man to have a certain profile that would make their friends wish they had him instead. If they see their friends/other females being attracted to him this heightens their own attraction because they're so hive minded. At any rate though it's just antithetical to how I think as a man. I don't care what power or status she has. I'm FAR more interested in her not being an utterly insufferable, selfish person.
@@sammyb1651 Men have their own issues with seeking validation but this is an arena in which women are head and shoulders above men. Power Couples look great from the outside but don't have kids. There's no power to add more than 24 hours in a day. I've had a few women tell me they weren't feeling me until they saw other women showing interest. That's foreign to most men, most of us don't need approval from others to "like" someone. I love women, I value women but men and women are simply different by dint of culture and physiology and this notion that we're the same with different sexual organs is being sent to the dustbin. I don't agree with all red pill ways but more men acknowledging their intrinsic value is a step in the right direction.
@@hmurchison8123 I agree. Positive steps would include men understanding that endless sacrifice for a female is not the way to live life. Also, that you don't exist as a man solely to make womens lives easier. Both of which attitudes are a genuine problem btw.
@@hmurchison8123 I've dated several models and strippers. My male friends looked at me very differently when I was pulling women so good looking, they were professionally good looking. I wasn't dating them because other men expressed interest but I'm not going to pretend that my friends being impressed and a little jealous didn't boost the ole ego.
Shortly before my parents met, my dad had declared bankruptcy. My mom was making money equivalent to a six-figure job now. They were engaged in just 3 weeks and have been together for 38 years. I personally think that women also want partnership, but that men don’t often have the emotional capacity for true emotional support. And so they settle for their lives being improved financially. And if their life stops being improved financially, then they suddenly realize they’re not getting anything out of the relationship. I think that you’re approaching this from the wrong angle. Making it like women are not loyal, when in fact, it’s simply that men need to work on their emotional capacity. Women typically feel more supported by other women than their spouse and so I think that’s why they aren’t as loyal.
Incomplete analysis. 1. Because they marry for gain 2. Because they are likely to break their vows in the absence of (continuing) gain. That about covers it. A prenup violates this strategy.
Yes only gld dggng mn want prenups. Bcoz he expects her to put her time, health, finances and energy on the line. But expects to safe guard h5is $. Mn who ask for prenups are the GDs.
Thanks, Orion. Yet another, spot on ringer. I so appreciate your content. Too, it’s been a distinct and not so surprising pleasure to watch your channel evolve and grow. WRT this episode, the operative word here is ‘fantasy’. Oh, and lest there be ANY confusion, it’s an ageless, timeless and irrefutable FACT transcending all ages races, creeds and religions, that without fail, the #1 cause of divorce between men & women in literally EVERY instance is - wait for it…marriage! Please keep up the good work, Doc, for it (you) are having a profound and lasting positive impact.
I have studied interpersonal attraction in my final year project for my psychology degree and what stood out for me was how like-mindedness seems to be the glue that keeps people together. When you get to know someone and discover that they see the world similar to you and share your values then a bond forms. A great example of this is John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
9:30 - I am a woman and my dream is to have to become the best teammate couple with my husband. But then again, men get bored when you match their masculine energy. If he does this and I match that (or in some cases excel in what he does), eventually he'll resent me. So what should women do then?
Ok dude, there are plenty of women, like myself, who bought into the 50/50 idea and got married. It’s 40 yrs later and it’s been more like 75 me/25 him, not to mention his cheating and money issues…and now I’m his caregiver due to his terminal disease… no love or affection towards me, but I’ve kept my end of the bargain. I don’t blame women who are looking for a partner to help improve their life. Good for them! That, to me, is true romance…
This is so sad. I believe the marriage vows are one of the most beautiful things that exist. It's not only about the woman committing, but the man also. Neither of them are allowed to leave because they made a *vow.* The heart of the problem with broken relationships and marriages is lack of faith. Fewer people keep their vows nowadays because few people know what a vow is... that if they break that vow, they are turning their back not only on their partner, but also on the better part of themselves and God. There is more to life than material happiness. The vow forces us to look beyond to something unchanging and eternal as the source of our happiness. Guys and girls out there, if you want someone to stay by your side, get some faith and find a woman with faith. You're relationship is only as strong as your commitment is to something higher than yourself.
I stayed faithful to my husband both while he made mid 6 figures, and when he was unemployed. I didn’t gain weight or stop taking care of myself during it all. Yet once he was making a lot of money again he cheated on me with a woman 20 years older than me. Perhaps someone can explain this to me?
It was a moment of weakness after she threw herself at him. Men don't need to have feelings for, or even like some of the women they sleep with. Women do. Please understand the difference.
My husband and I have been married 14 years and we’ve always been poor and sick. I don’t know about other women, but they should know money and health don’t last forever
There have been several episodes where I felt it personally spoke to me This, was the most Mostly because my last relationship was the closest I felt to something like this Reflecting back Most of the other women were reliable… but up to a point It’s why we have the saying, “a *man* of his word” When I look at clips on Instagram and see the comment section A lot of times it’s women who offer push back Sometimes with something reminiscent of legitimate criticism Otherwise, shame, insults, and guilt I really expected better from people growing up But, a few things I’ve taken away from this content is: • greater level of awareness and discernment • courage to establish boundaries Patrice O’Neal had it right “It’s our fault” Meaning, men can change this Not everything or at once But over time we can set a better standard
Ah Patrice O Neal? The guy who kickd the buckt 3 decades before the avg life spn. He spoke so much about wmn’s weight, wmn in general that he didn’t look into any mirror. His own toxcity kld him 🤣 The clownery is real 🤡
@@manifest2203 You mean same man that Dr. Orion Taraban references several times? Yeah, that’s the one Patrice’s death because of his own weight doesn’t invalidate the logic He may have mentioned large or overweight women in a derogatory way But that wasn’t the bulk of his talks or criticism He *was* known to “enjoy their company” from time to time
@@guyberryman574 You can either give up and roll over Or do something at the ground level Make yourself as high value of a person as you can Then live your life by design as much as you can
This really hurts to hear, I am a young guy and I am a hopeless romantic, I want a partner with whom I can share everything, I want to love and be loved for who I am. It might be the end of humanity if AI is able to create this very fantasy IRL.
As a romantic, you will be deceived and disappointed. You will pledge to protect your woman at the cost of your own life, if necessary; but she won't understand you, will dismiss you and may branch out for the sake of her emotions. Beware, that will happen to you, unless you operate a change of paradigm from romanticism to more realism.
If you are a young guy, let you live your experience, but remember that you have only one life. The girls can come and go away. If you want to love, just do it! But don’t let any girl to disrespect you. I ‘ d say this to my son.
My husband is disabled now and we have young children. He lost his job from his disability and I’ve tried supporting the family by working and I also have to do everything the house. That’s just reality. Life is hard.
Orion has been saying the same thing but tackling it from different angles and in deeper depth. As I am reading the comments, I can tell this video came at a powerful time for most. It takes some bashing, repetition and different perspectives to get through to men. I am lucky my inner being lashed out about bullshit “sabotaging” the relationship I was in. She left and the on and off is over between us because I finally realized the literal bot I was fawning over. She also was talking about marriage in 3 years. I grew up being blamed for everything so began to find my faults in all of her insecurities. But something in me bred toxicity towards her toxicity and it saved my future. Not many are as lucky as me.
"no one has done that for him in his entire life". What about his mother? Thats why a mother figure is so important, men can recognize what true selfless love looks like.
If that's what they are looking for as a grownup man in wife its not about partnership! Its about only recieving because mother gives only = They are still selfish babies!!! Masculine man is happy to be provider for a whole family as much as its possible for him. I know nowadays its though.
I think everyone is selfish, so its pretty natural to want selfless love. Growing up means being able to survive and keep growing without it, but we do want to be loved as selfeshly as possible. Every relationship is transactional , time is the most liquid currency there is and is subject to opportunity cost, so thats inevitable. But not all transactions are paid with selfless love, or something that is close to it. Just like any market, if you have not seen the product before you cant distinguish its quality.
My friends married young. They are 36 years old. Just paid off their house. Have 2 lids....best partnership I've seen. And she let's him lead. He told her years ago to trust his plan and be on board with it. She did and they are doing well. Such an example.
Honestly, it's so miserable....that men only want a woman who is going to be there when he really needs her, who loves him for who he is....someone who said her marriage vows and actually intends to follow them. Literally a FANTASY, how sad!!! Not only will most women not do that, but they will say the vows and let you think that they will ...right up until their surprise announcement, SURPRISE! I'm actually not going to honor my vows. Later! That's actually the reality. Dreaming of a Woman who will love you for who you are, and be there through thick and thin. Literally a FANTASY. How awful
@@manifest2203God you're bad at arguing. Let's just be straight up here, men are attracted to fertility and want to spread their seed, but the romantic fantasy and finding true love, companionship and teamwork where the TEAM has undying devotion to the TEAM. So yes, men unequivocally love more than women, you cannot argue otherwise in a romantic sense because men actually love, and with that love comes responsibilities to the thing you love. Women do not love because they will quickly shirk responsibilities and abandon their "love".
Most* Men get married because they didn't have the opportunity of regular sex when they were single. They meet a girl that appears to be into him, with regular sex - he quickly falls in love because he's not used to this feeling of being loved and appreciated. He marries her because he thinks the regular sex and respect will continue. But now she knows everything about him, there's no mystery, and now she's bored. Therefore desires other men, but not her husband. Sex with the husband is now a chore and tries to avoid it, only giving in every now and then to keep him from complaining. Simply because she needs to be emotionally stimulated constantly, in order to desire sex with that person. Just about impossible for a husband to do. Commitment kills the magic. Moral of the story is, unless you've found a 1 in a million girl, don't marry her, you have too much to lose and very little to gain
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
Though it may seem hard to believe, men's predominant romantic fantasy - at least when it comes to their sexual relationships with women - is partnership. Despite what they may say, most women don't want an equal partner - they want men who will significantly improve the quality of their lives. And it is very difficult - if not impossible - for a man to simultaneously be an equal partner and a better option. While partnership is possible, it's typically easier for most men to have that kind of relationship with other men than with a woman.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #marriage
Here's where I disagree They may be able to get it from 21 to 33. I seriously doubt they'll be able to get it when they are over 40 timestamp 7:10
I agree with everything else: Muffin on muffin marriages of a 75% divorce rate. Muffin on eggplant 50% divorce. Eggplant on Eggplant have a 25% divorce rate
Do you plan to offer these videos in other languages? I really need to share this with some Brazilian Portuguese speaking people.
Hi Dr. Taraban,
Egoic triggering and trauma can be listed as a few **fears** (I prefer "challenges")
1. Abandonment/ need egoic love (proving "good enough")
2. security / safety
3. control / $ / shelter / food
Every event that "hurt you" was in there. (Remember only you can 'take' offense). But if we realize that our reality is a timeless unconditional Love materialized.. if you're present and with this love of Source / Universal / All that is energy in you're heart - *YOU ARE PROTECTED ALWAYS IN ALL AREAS*. Thanks
great video, you always say what gets stuck in men's throat. I've been thinking a lot about the topic and you just expressed it exactly in the way it was in my mind. Cheers
My wife married me when I was unemployed and stayed with me for TWO years while I was unemployed and five more years while I was under-employed. She also, during that hard time, made two babies with me, on purpose. We have been married 16 years now and in that time, on two different occasions, she has sat with me in the hospital while I was sick, one of those, for three weeks while she barely left the room because I was on death's door. I have found a good one, but I was married twice before, and I can say from personal experience that most women are not as good as mine.
Awesome testimony! And really good to see you appreciate the rarity and value of it! Genuinely happy for you👍
Look after her! It is a shit show out here and you don't want to start wading through the dung heap.
@DBTwister it's no man's land out here
Thanks for sharing this real life counter-narrative; faithful, loving women are all around but too often modern men are over prioritizing physical appearance and image status over genuine integrity and loyal values.
Also thanks for admitting that it took you 2 relationships to clearly identify which attributes to prioritize when selecting a life mate.
Great story 👏 👏👏
You are a truly lucky man. Please pass my compliments to your wife for being such an exceptional person. Bless you both!
Hi, woman here. I can definitely see your point that women leave when things get tough, but that's not always. I don't even know a woman who would leave her husband bc he's broke/gains weight/has health issues. The issue comes when the man is dealing with the stress of these issues. Because of the stress, men become withdrawn and impatient and this is actually what makes a woman want to leave. Men push partners away or turn to their friends which hurts the woman. Men focus on their problems and push their partners away instead of letting their partners in and trying to nurture the relationship. Sometimes it just gets too much for the woman and that's why she leaves.
I have to agree with this. We also want partnership but there has to be a bottomline of care, respect, consideration and, in my case, confidence that the problem can be overcome. I have stuck with ex boyfriends through very tough times and left when I felt they didn't want to connect with me anymore, or when I saw them completely lose their confidence or attitude towards resolving issues. It isn't as simple as "we just want to gain from men"
because at this time men want to go to the cave
I was going to say the same thing but you've done so already. It's not that women leave or want to leave when going gets tough, but men can turn into jerks and their personality changes for the worse and interactions with them is like going to the dentist to get your teeth pulled.
Exception exception exception; Dr. Taraban said it clearly in the video, especially at 7:40
Well, my ex wife certainly thought of that way. She left me just about when our struggles of early child raising, the pandemic and more was coming to an end. Just when things were looking on the up and up, she decided to leave.
She cited that she felt drained and anxious all of the time. Powerless to prevent whatever was happening around her.
She quickly moved on aswell and it seems like she is enjoying her life again. More power to her.
But I felt like hard times would have created a bond between us, instead, what I realised was that it caused us to separate and she was mentally checked out by the time the marriage ended.
There is another category of women also worth mentioning. The women that are looking for genuine partnetships but are afraid of being used and taken advantage of. I think this resonates with many women of various economic statuses.
Ofcourse a man of a higher economic status, lessens the resistance. No one wants to be with someone who's only with you because of money, man or woman.
I was in that category for a long time.
My dad is a giver to a fault and luckily found a woman who is especially frugal and feels bad spending money.
I grew up with a mix, wanting to give all of myself without spending much on me.
All my past relationships liked my generosity, but nothing else about me. Thankfully there was one thing i refused to give was my v-card until i finally found mr right, and the rest filtered themselves out of my life within weeks of dating.
Its funny i didnt even have to play any games because the men who would want to just use and abuse me couldn't handle 3 weeks of handholding and talking about each others hobbies and schoolwork.
10 years together and happy~
True! When you give of yourself that way as women it hurts extra when that man uses you as a stepping stone to something better.
100%. At least he is honest about his inherent biases. As a fellow doctor and scientist, the selection and/or removal of my thumbs up is about 50/50 for each video. I am not in the average dating pool, never was; much of the advice simply doesn’t apply to me. Therefore, my inherent bias, as a result of my hypotheses not being disproven, still renders at least half of this content, un-useful banter, rather than exemplary scientific rhetoric on the constructs of psychosocial mating behavior.
@JeniSanMusic I totally agree. Sadly , some people will take this content as the absolute truth rather than biased opinions to their detriment. Buyer beware!
@@lucylu4013 exactly. Too often taken advantage of has left me in ill health and unemployed.
There is a good reason men believe female nature is different than it is, Men's first experience with women is their mothers which is the experience of unconditional love (if they were good mothers), but we find out later that women in relationship are totally different and do not love unconditionally and it's a hard thing to accept, just like Chris Rock said, "Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provide something".
Spot on
Speak on it. Sometimes I think my wife does too much for our sons (pampering) but in the end she can do as much as possible so long as they understand that no other will love them at that same level. This is why it's so easy for a single mother to send her adult son into the world unprepared.
Sadly, my husband's mother was horrible... she actually seemed to hate him from the moment of birth. Extremely devastating, and he was a good boy/teen/ young man! He was never good enough on her eyes, even when he took care of her in her old age. I never knew her, she died long before we married. His goodness is despite her, not because of her. He very easily could have done the opposite of everything he did and been an awful person. I respect the hell outta him!
That is why in Bible it is said that woman respects man, not love. Men cheat to much, to give them hearts, women give their bodies and bebies, isn't that enough?
@@hmurchison8123that is why sons need father everyday.
I think a woman who loves a man will stick by him when he's down...but she will leave him if she sees he doesn't want to get up, and forces her to provide for him and her children by herself. Now, there may be reasons why he doesn't want to get up - depression, low self esteem, etc. - but if he isn't doing anything to address these, then he is not being a partner himself, but becomes a(nother) child to her.
Bingo.
Maybe he doesn't want to get up. For you.
@@robicelus exactly, that's why she leaves
@@msfubby9372 cool. He'll just replace her.
But what if he is just a bit burnt out because he has been literally carrying her emotionally, physically, and financially for over a decade? a.k.a. she was the 'other' child in the family unit for most of their marriage. Doesn't seem right for her to just dump him, or shame him, the moment he isn't being that cash-cow that she expected him to be until death-do-they-part.....
A healthy woman stays where she feels safe, cherished and loved (financially and emotionally) obviously different things make every women feel like that
Ironically, men tend to be the ones leaving or disengaging from the relationship when their spouse turns sick...
@@audreyay5835 blatantly false
Yea they always have rules for women that they never follow 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This 💯
I guess I'm just lucky. Married 30 years and we have had some rough times and she has always supported me. Twenty years ago I quit my job to start my own business. It took me two years to be profitable with my new business. We had to monitor our spending much more carefully during this time period. She never once complained! She was along for the ride and supported me in my decision to start my own business. Partner-type women may be rare, but they do exist.
Nice! Is she a good mother as well?
@@hmurchison8123 she could a good mother and good lover also of course.
No man should assume he hit upon the rare one. A man thought her wife was a rare gem for 22 years of marriage and then he was down on the luck (job loss) and she left him.
@@rayrwyr the majority of women that are just randomly leaving their husbands are undergoing hormonal changes and perhaps they were just oblivious to it. Couple should just understand that as you go into your early to mid 40s, there’s going to be turbulence.
@@hmurchison8123 wow you sound like you've really gotten the lowdown on menopause. how brave.
Change your outlook despite your "experience" and you'll attract that RARE girl. If you really believe that most women just want to benefit then that is all you will encounter in your experience. Thank you for your videos. I genuinely appreciate them.
If you're steadfast in your approach, you won't let women use you like that, & you'll know to look in the right places. You don't find a partner for life on Tinder.
@@davidtrak2679 We've all been naive. We learn and find better. Yes.
I guess this begs the question, if men have to accept that a woman may leave if he falls down, why should men tolerate staying in a relationship with a woman who loses her beauty?
Those are the rules if a man can fight his delulu.
They shouldn't. Basic expectations that should definitely be directly conveyed at the start is that both people will maintain their weight and looks to match when they met (outside of aging of course!), and keep up the sex frequency they had when dating. Does that happen though? How many couples do we all know where one just gave up and got fat? Or shut down completely and now they just hang out alone at opposite ends of the house?
I am a woman and my advice for men is do not get married.
You mean “raises the question.” Google it.
Why see that as retribution? What is there to be tolerated when you simply lose attraction for your partner? The mental bullshit is in the man's head of your scenario. Relationships are not meant to last a given amount of time, even less perpetually. They last as long as they should, which is as long as both continue to benefit reciprocally according to each individual's terms.
You leave whenever you realize it stopped working. Not for revenge or for "you are old" petty type arguments. Simply because it no longer works for you. You break up as gracefully as possible, with the awareness that this should be done to you as well if what you bring to the table is no longer good enough for her.
The point here is to cleanse your mind from the idea that relationships are meant to aim at perpetuity as the only morally acceptable option. Good luck integrating that truth to your mind, when you are in love and good luck enacting that in your life when others depend on you. Far easier said than done.
Spot on. The first time I got laid off while married to my wife, I waited for over a week before I told her. She found that puzzling. I'd done that so that by the time I told her, I'd already fully processed the bad news on my own, and had become ready to fully handle it on my own without expecting any specific reaction from her side (Yes, that includes sticking with me). I was actually transparent with her when I addressed her puzzlement. I told her that it is my belief that men and women are wired differently, and that as a man, life teaches you the hard way that you can't afford to offload your burdens onto anyone else and expect that to go well (a women's privilege that most of them take for granted). My wife belongs to that rare tier that Orion added as a caveat. She's so mature and I never felt her faltering, but I know that I too do my homework, and I doubt it would have gone the same if I had been too complacent. Orion is on point about this. As man, there is that subtext that requires you to be "the rock" in the relationship, whether it is written with visible or invisible ink, you know it is there in the deal between you and your woman.
Honestly, in my experience, most men do not actually understand that they are supposed to be the rock. The only rock. Most men are sucked into the false notion that both partners are promising to be each others’ rocks. Hence the purpose of this video.
@@TheRomans9Guy Agreed. When I was younger, I had an ex that was always telling me to open up and confide in her more. The first time I really opened up and told her about a struggle, she mocked me for it. 🙄
Did she stay with you or dump you?
@@TheRomans9Guy If she isn't my rock, I don't really have a use for her. I'm an introvert (Myers Briggs personality type) and "alone" is my default happy state. Love is a disruption of that, nothing I would welcome. But should I fall in love with someone once again, I know I won't see it that way. But in the here and now, were I don't love someone, that's how I feel. I hope to not fall in love again.
@@olafweyer859 a man must be a woman's immovable, unbreakable mountain. If you're a man and you expect your woman to be that role, you'll fail in every romantic relationship you ever have.
you don’t need to convince me. as soon as you said “partnership” my heart melted. this is what i want. we met when we weren’t making much and built one another up. He decided to marry me because he knows i have his back at the end of the day.
I’ve been crying the whole video. I also melted.
Imagine you have four friends. You regularly go out with them to the club and you always pay for the drinks because they complain that they have no money and it doesn't bother you because you are not alone and you have friends and you have some money. That's how you do it every month. You have financial problems for one month. You tell them that you have no money, but that you can go to the club because you don't want to be alone and to clear your head. Suddenly they are always busy so they can't go. One night you happen to see all four in another club having fun. Do you have four friends or were you alone all the time without knowing it?
You were alone without knowing it.
THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am glad i saw trough it while still fairly young
Damn......
Bruh that's a weird ass imagination you have😂 This is unfathomable in my circle or culture. And if it happens we don't cry, just pay a visit with a baseball bat. White ppl gone wild on hedonism 😂
And at that point you realize the people you thought were your friends were not.
I'm a woman. I grew up watching my dad being that version of male as you describe in this video and my mum as the typical women you describe. It didn't make me to be like my mum, as witness to that helped me to conclude tqo be in being a happ oy and enjoyable relationship requires both genders trying their best to make it work, to grow together whether it is financially, ethically or putting in the effort in being physically attractive / fit.
For me what makes a man attractive is not their money but their character, their direction in life and their desire to pursue a goal worthwhile. And that they make money not to attract a woman but thing they do inspires them and makes them come alive; they go to the gym not to look good for the ladies but that they're interested in health and having a body that is useful and agile.
While in my experience it has been rare and close to none to find men who has direction and strength in character, most men pursue money and success without really having a worthwhile reason that aligns with their value and core. I personally prefer to embody those traits I find attractive and prefer to be partnerless as looking for a man as described is futile. Despite that said im in a happy relationship and he is my best friend 😅
I was married back in 2000, divorced in 2009. Had completely forgotten why I'd entertained it, or what the fantasy even was. Thank you for reminding me, because it was a beautiful fantasy.
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
Men’s problem is that they ignore the evolutionary reasons why women mate for gain and we consciously assign our masculine ideas of honor on to them. Women don’t work that way. You have to view them like a little sister that you constantly gotta maintain and protect, she is NOT your “partner” or your best friend. That’s your woman who expects you to be a certain way in order to follow you, part of that means staying your best in all aspects of life or risk her losing attraction and leaving. If you’re not ready to sacrifice your life trying to maintain this dance, you are NOT ready for marriage or a long term relationship. As a man, you don’t get to rest. Remember that.
So it's like having a daughter without even having a daughter. How unromantic
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. Perfectly said.
@@raxlyy6416 That’s right. Unromantic. But completely the truth. We men need to give up on romance.
People don't think it be like
It is, but it do.
Very well said, dude
A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient
There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You wont regret it
Just because you never had it, it does not mean it does not exist.I am just looking for a title of my future book, because now I truly see the need to publish what I have to say.
Cold, hard, truth. Thank you, Doc. This channel is amazing.
It is amazing indeed.
Its impressive how logical and sensible women can be are in terms of their ability to assess and choose based on value, benefit and hypergamy. Its sad how illogical, emotional, and delusional men can be in terms of thinking they will buck the divorce trend, get married without a prenup, and thinking "she loves me for me".
Her ability to seek value, benefit and hypergamy only exists because of the foundation, structure and maintenance of a system created by men on her behalf. It's real life Wizard of Oz ..once you peek behind the curtain you see clearly the illusion.
Man should 100% of the time get a prenup or have all their assets put into an irrevocable contract trust.
@@suefleming Or just not get married in the first place if it is so risky and dangerous.
The problem is not that it's true, the problem is it's mostly kept a secret.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 That is the best solution..
While there are certainly women who will bail on you during the rough times (I have personal experience), there are also ones that will stick it out with you (again, personal experience). If you want a good indicator of whether a woman will stick by you through rough times, look at what kind of life she has lived so far and how she has handled it. If struggle is largely absent through circumstance or choice, she is untested in that area. Maybe she will rise to the occasion, but she is untested. If she has experienced struggle and makes every effort to avoid future struggle (which is impossible) she's probably not up for another round and there is a good chance she'll bail. If she has faced struggle and come through the other side stronger, having learned from her experience, she is more likely to deal with future struggle. These are not guarantees, but nothing is.
Who wouldn't make every effort to avoid future struggle though??
@@alexisc7565 Think about what the word "every" means and you'll understand.
This seems like a human issue, not just exclusive to women.
@@kingsirdaboss1995 Yes, but we're talking about women.
Thanks!
Women are not partners for life, they're stockholders, so when they sense that the stock is declining, they might just as well cash-in and invest on other stocks.
Great analogy
This is so false you have NO idea what you're talking about. My dad had prostate cancer a few years ago and became impotent due to that, my step mom stick with him. They've been married for 32 years. But my dad is a good man, he works hard and is very inteligent. Very few men measure up to him, and I can see here in the comments that weak men prefer to hate women than improve themselves: pathetic
Yes that’s more logical.
All about a man’s 💰💰💰💰💰
The stock might not even be falling at all. But she will still cash out just because she feels it's better for her at the moment.
Once you learn about female nature specially hypergamy it takes your desire away from getting married
Yeah, I needed to hear this.
Spot on! Why would any fool submit to that fairytale.
Agreed
@@Mantaray911 yeah specifically because they're incentivized to divorce you
For real man, I'm struggling with this. I've become a bit jaded and have an attitude of "why even try anymore" with women. Their entitlement, selfishness, and lack of character just makes me want to stay away. Just being brutally honest here, sex is great and all, but it just takes too much work and effort, and I can get by with porn and toys to keep that part of me satiated. The partner part would be nice, but like the video said that's really just a fantasy. Women don't want a partner they want a provider and I just can't get past that.
Like life for men is hard enough as it is, we rarely have people to rely on, everything is on our shoulders. All the expectation is on us. The last thing I need in my life is a needy entitled brat that thinks they should be pampered and gatekeeps sex to get what she wants (almost all women). Social media and all the attention they get has increased this kind of behavior exponentially.
Society used to have structure and gender roles for a reason. Women can't do the work men can. History shows us that with who invented, built, and conquered everything, but men need support and women have largely abandoned that role. They can't replace men, and won't do the support role anymore, so everything is crumbling.
Spot on. As a man, I’m very independent and can take care of a lot that comes my way. I married my wife because she loves me and we see a lot together through a moral lens. All I ask is that she’s there for me through thick and thin, the good and the bad. I go through enough crap day to day in life, and all I want is someone who understands and is there for me.
She's never going to have that agenda. She's going to want you to be her slave.
You're just being wishful. It would take one misfortune to find out where her head is.
Wishful thinking I'm afraid.
If roles were reversed, you wouldn’t be with her thru thick and thin.
@@manifest2203 Hoo hert U?
Men are twice as likely to leave their wives after she receives a cancer diagnosis as a woman is to leave her husband. Men may fantasize about partnership, but it doesn’t seem they’re up to holding their end of the bargain either.
Holy expletive. One Study showed the numbers could go as high as 7 times. I believe it. When I was young I used to marvel at how my buddies only cared about a woman's looks. If that negative trait doesn't go away these are guys that bail on women that are now "damaged goods"
the numbers probably dont hold up because the men are already dead from cancer and the women die alone
Why would a woman leave when she is about to get all the man's wealth instead of half? It's a female dream come true! Maybe 1 woman in million divorces a dying man, so twice that would be 2 men in a million...
Boo Hoo KAREN, Boo Hoo KAREN. You would Divorce your hubby at the drop of a dime if he could not provide for you. Yes you would, KAREN.
@ yeah, I would 😏 I promise my husband makes more than you, Chad. but I am not making content insinuating that women are the morally superior gender
I got the book, halfway through. It's really really good, precise, and lots of new information. It's way more valuable than what i paid. Just want to thank you Sir
Unfortunately for some women like that, men think we are all the same. I grew up in Mexico with different values and a traditional family. My parents still together after 45 years with my dad been ill for more than 20 years. They’re a great example of what real love is ❤and I hope to continue this values with the right person.
I once worked for a company that did managed benefits and this Latino man called to ensure his wife was going to receive the care and coverage they needed. It's been almost 20 years but the humility and love he showed was breathtaking. He was on the phone in tears with gratitude. I remember hanging up and saying "if you can find someone that loves you like this man, keep them at all costs".
@@hmurchison8123 how lovely 🥰 . We are very caring and affectionate.
This episode is spot on! As Coach Greg Adams says; "Men are in love. Women are in business".
"Men love ramanticly; women, opportunistically." ― Hillary Rodham Clinton
Haha. That's also my phrasing.
Really? Mn never stop talking abt yngr wmn. So mn “love” more than wmn? 😂 Mn don’t even love their chdrn as much as the mthrs do.
@@manifest2203 did you have a stroke typing this
@@hertzwave8001 why? Are you having an episde?
I've had relationships with both men and a few women (I'm a woman, btw). And I've experienced loyalty and disloyalty from both genders. But it has been noted that it is actually men that are most likely to leave their partner if they're sick, for instance.
Yup… doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. They demand a loyalty they would NEVERRRRR give themselves
Yup, this is what happens when you do not have a virtuous society. It creates weak men and women. We can point the fingers at one another but at the end of the day that is what it comes down to lack of virtues. Better start building those virtues and require it of your partner because both people need to be able to prove that they are worthy of each other.
@@lillyCfields How has this comment not got more likes? A lot of these problems would have been solved if we just come together to admit we have our faults we need to work on and not expect others to give when we in turn don’t do our part. At the end we are looking for a common goal to have that one person we can trust to live the rest of our lives with. Would be nice if this aspect is something that people can remember.
I think we’re in a time when people find it easier to blame others cause it’s hard to be vulnerable to self evaluate if we didn’t do more. In many ways I think we lost thing cause we took those we care about for granted and have not let them feel appreciated. Most of this could have been avoided if we recenter ourselves of what our values are and to make sure we reflect that.
@kate2create738
Thank you, Kate for your compliment. And thank you for your beautiful addition to my comment because what you said is true.
Adults make their own decisions. Blame "society " all you want.
@@keithsmith5310 An adult has the self aware to work on themselves to bring something better to society. Go ahead and kick that can down the road and wonder why there’s a lack of good people when there is little done to foster society to think about implementing wise decisions. There’s two types of people, the type that folds when things go awry expecting others to pick them up and wails when no one rescues them from the pit they put themselves in, then there’s the ones who understand we all have our issues yet aims for the ones who can be depended on to carry through those tough times that in turn builds character. An adult has that responsibility to understand they cannot sit and wallow forever, an adult understands others depend on them. That in itself creates a society.
I see less adults today and more overgrown children that are hesitant to face the idea of being vulnerable and honest with themselves. All while wanting that life to spend with someone they trust, an insightful person recognizes it starts with them, they have to build trust with others to bring forth other trustworthy people. Not chase them out with accusations and anger of needs not being met, but learn product ways to communicate what is needed in a relationship to keep it strong. It’s easier if someone has the mindset to be honest of their own shortcomings and making ways to compromise what needs to be compromised. A lack of just a few of these virtues, like self responsibility, will break down trust in any relationship.
@keithsmith5310
Dearest Keith, it's a both and problem. Individuals make up society so yes it's individual problem and a society problem.
Men still pursuing marriage in this day and age is absolutely mind boggling.
yeah just fuck and bail
Why if they are oh, so rational? Could it be there are still quite a few rational things in it for them? I don't buy this romantic, dewy-eyed dude. Stories men tell themselves while remaining oblivious that they are anything but romantic, on average.
@@roses6564men are the romantic gender. Women want to be romanced.
Truly
@@roses6564you’re a woman?
This video is especially valuable because it tells the truth and doesn't shame men for having such a fantasy. It also proves that, apart from children, there is no rational reason for marriage.
And even after you marry her and you get children with her what's to prevent her from divorcing you and stealing those children away from you. My advice to men is don't get married.
Even if you have children it’s not beneficial to marry. If married and she leaves she takes half and you pay child support. If not married and she leaves you just pay child support.
Unfortunately, depending on the state they can still get half if they're living with you.... sucks...... I don't know what the answer is. Maybe you're better off having a prenup and getting married. Things have gotten really complicated@@fivebooks8498
@suefleming been there
@@fivebooks8498 looks like the future is in fact female single mothers
🤡🌎
I think it’s a lack of nuance in this. Some of us women are too loyal and will not leave in an instant even if the man get abusive and threatening towards us. We will make excuses for him and say things like he’s down on his luck etc. Eventually I left, I have no ill will towards him. I still believe in love and that most of men are good people. Bitterness will only poison your soul and mind.
When a man says "I love you", it is a promise. When a women says "I love you" it is a feeling. Feelings can change, oftentimes men learn that the hard way. The solemn wedding vow - until parted by death - is rooted in the male idealistic view of marriage.
When men say "I love you", they are saying she is worth dying for...when women say "I love you", it is what can I get out of him.
Really? Mn never sh6ut up abt yngr wmn. They “love” better than wmn? Nope.
@@DBTwister That is a woman with no integrity. I have integrity but not many women do and even some men don't.
Amen
@@manifest2203 Younger women are a preference and doesn't indicate less of a bond or depth in a man's promise. In fact men tend to prefer younger women because they're less jaded, less used and abused and more likely to, wait for it, be BETTER AT PAIR BONDING as in not leaving you for her many ex's and baby daddies. Stop being bitter and envious of younger women. If anything that preference shows how much deeper a man's love and commitment is. VS the common female preference of like "rich and 6ft" which shows they just want a sugar daddy and bodyguard.
The missing part is the cognitive disonance caused when women want to believe that they are selfless angels who would stand by their man for richer or for pooer etc. This drives them to find sufficient faults in their man to justify leaving him both in their own eyes and those of their friends.
Nailed it. They’ll provide a litany of justifications for their hypergamous behavior. Vows are thrown out the window. Integrity doesn’t exist in a mind driven by emotion.
Vvomen are so remarkably good at pretending they have no problems
They need to absolve themselves of all responsibility or guilt. But somewhere in their subconscious minds it is playing out.
@@AJ-ru3gl Integrity doesn't trump everything else in a mind driven by reason. Integrity is merely one means to achieve your goals, which are, ultimately and to the extent that they are conscious at all, always emotional (If you think otherwise then just recursively ask why your goals are what they are - eventually you always end up with "because that's just how I feel")
@@SmileyEmoji42You are making a false equivalency between male and female emotions, women are ruled by their emotions and when an emotion pops up, they think hey this is completely valid to feel this way, why am I feeling this way, and then point to something outside they can blame
Whereas men question and reflect, that's why we show so much self restraint and question our emotions
I think this is definitely the most common scenario. I am a married woman and while I was dating my husband he lost his home and car, he rebuilt from that then when he was my fiancé he was laid off, we got married praying for the best. And despite the fact he has a masters and well qualified, he remained laid off for two years. He worked every kind of job to provide, we had two children during that time and I was the bread winner during that tough time. We struggled in many ways but the biggest struggle was his self worth because he felt he failed as a father and husband, that broke my heart but also help me understand my husband more. We survived and now he’s the provider, life is NOT easy, I hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
I also come from very little and that could be why I don’t run when struggle comes my way, in fact I feel like it’s an opportunity for resilience
On our 1 year married anniversary we didn’t have a ton of money for gifts so my husband made a list of 10 things he loved about me on paper, to stay true to the tradition (so sweet!). I will always remember the number 1 on the list was faithfulness, and that I would always support him no matter what. I always thought that it was because of his unfaithful/turbulent exes in the past but in this light it totally makes sense why he values faithfulness so dearly.
Men get married to love, women get married to be loved. Marriage is a tragedy since the very begining. - Unkown author.
I think on both sides both is possible. As a woman, I would marry to love and care for a man.
@@dits2007Cap 🧢.😂
@@bronkonovak6555 no. I was raised like that.
You and no other, apparently. @@dits2007
"Men are in love, women are in business." --Coach Greg Adams
Maybe It’s strange but the partnership was my romantic dream! I’m a woman. My parents were in that kind of relationship. For me it’s normal. It was opposite in my case. My ex husband married me to have more comfortable life🙈 The partnership exists indeed. I’d like to live that experience.
Most people came from a disfuntional home with disfunction rolemodels of romantic relationship, they really don't have a idea of how this is suppose to work. They also spend most of their formative years segregated, with few or none friends of the opposite sex, and so their main references of the opposite sex cames mostly fail romantic relationships. So we end up with a society with a extremely negative bias of the opposite gender and no real idea of a functional relationship, and the result is this shitshow of "man is this, woman is that" and "all relationship are purely transacional, with man buying beauty and woman getting half his money in exchange".
@@Luuhpan couldn't agree more
Been married for 15 years to a 10 that stuck with me while I was in the gutter. I fucking won the lottery.
YES YOU DID...
I hope it continues that way for you...❤👍🏼
You just think she stuck with you. Guarantee while you were in the gutter she was venturing out to other candidates
Um...but you're a woman 🤦
At 10 years I thought the same thing. At 24 years she served me divorce papers telling me she fell out of love. Good luck!
@@torachan23nah.. You're creating your own narrative cos you can't accept someone else won in life... Do better, grow up
A man’s fantasy is to be loved unconditionally and to be relieved of the burden of performance.
A woman’s fantasy is to be independent of men.
OMG spot on, idk if it's funny or sad 😮
independent of God and morality as well.
But this fantasy should fulfill your mama not wife.
Because marriage shouldn't be fulfilling? Then why would I ever marry you if that's how you think? @@Katarzyna-h2z
Yes the mommy to w6fe/ma9d pipeline is drying up.
This so so rich because it blatantly ignores the fact that when in a marriage, women take on SO much of not only physical labor and work, but also mental load of what needs to be done. Of course she wants a man that can offer something to the table, if she is expected to do all the "normal feminine duties" that are more often that not taken for granted.
"The mental load" is bullshit women came up with to act like they are a victim. You people are constantly unhappy and find something to complain or nitpick.
Men used to justify marriage because it allowed them access to regular sex in addition to a family. These days the loneliest men are married and your family can be taken from you the moment the woman gets bored.
Romance is dead, and women killed it.
@@SirShiv7 all women has ever wanted was for a man to truly just love her and her only but because of men’s nature we’ve had to just say to hell with love what can he do for me….
@@AncientSoul99 And yet men have dropped out of the dating world in numbers we have never seen, and it gets worse every year. At some point, you women are going to have to push past the delusion that you're innocent bystanders and acknowledge that you are doing something to actively drive men away that goes beyond 'we just want a good man.'
@@SirShiv7 actually the amount of good women that get dogged by men and it’s not because we pick men that are bad for us- being that you guys fake your agendas and intentions to get kewchie. Good men are rarer than “good women” most men are to weak to certain desires and lack discipline a divine masculine man has. Men are dropping out of the dating game because they can’t face their biggest fears. I.e commitment and loyalty
@@SirShiv7 I just agree that romance is epically dead but women definitely did not kill it. We love love - that’s all we think about. Men on the other hard they just think about….
@@AncientSoul99 You've already stated you've given up on marriage, why are you even arguing at all? Go live your solo life, romance doesn't matter if you've already thrown in the towel. 😂 Leave reality to those of us still actively engaged in it
I'm married to one of those rare women. Look...the gig is up. Men today are just not buying into the "she's just as powerful as you are". The trash heap of relics from yesteryear like the need for college, Politicians working for the citizenry, Trickle Down Economics grows every year and now men are tossing "Equality" onto that pile. A lot of us plan to tell our sons "DON'T" ...don't cohabitate, don't get married early, don't chase women, don't accumulate debt. Your initial adult life should be about growing yourself in every facet of life you have a sphere of control over. If you have to pay for sex it'll be cheaper in the long run.
YES !!! Don't accumulate debt. Rely on yourself.
There are mature grown up women but not many.❤❤❤
And your son will never have kids though
💯💯
@@suefleming why make women the enemy. Why can’t we just co exist?
@@suefleming I agree with this Sue. The #1 enemy of dating are Time Vampires. Suck your attention, your money and whatever they can get. Many of us used to be a member of the "I don't really have a type" when we were younger. When you're approaching the age of marriage feasibility you most definitely have acquired a "type" through experience. Avoid the land mines early.
Women don't want a partner, we want a strong masculine leader who is the bedrock of the family.
Gentlemen understand that ladies want a man to submit to but they want to make sure they are submitting to the best man they can get. Never entertain her fantasy that she is your equal.
And that is your fantasy.
Only people who can’t understand cooperation talk about expecting someone else to “submt” to them. And the ones who expect it, aren’t even worthy to submt to in the first place.
@ I understand the definition of cooperation and it has little to do with equality or power dynamics.
I would strongly suggest you brush up on your vocabulary, spelling, and grammar before attempting to participate in adult conversation.
@@manifest2203 men can only compeet, even with women, and when they can't, because are too small, they expect submission because... they are men, buhaha
@@ryanh9388 lol you don’t understand these things. Even if there is a power dynamic, there is still no need for anyone to submt. Take employr/emplyee. There is clear power imbalance. Both are there only bcoz it benefits them. Besides, the emplyee has the powr ti quit and switch the emplyr too. Equality doesn’t mean sameness. Mn and wmn are diff but equal. Just like diff mn are diff, but equal. Or do you think cooperation is submsion? 🤣
PS: I miss out some vowels deliberately bcoz of yt censrshp.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, steve_porassss_. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is Steve_porassss_
Thanks!
Doctor, THIS videos says it ALL. You explained in just 5 minutes the fundamental issue. WELL DONE DOCTOR !!!
It does not say anything at all. It show a bitter experience, with a bitter outlook on life and only bitter coming relationships.
@soul-etude Say where what he says is wrong and stop criticism without arguments. I am a man and agree in everything. You are a woman and you don't like facts !
For 7 years I was with my boyfriend when I was employed and he was not. I divorced him when he was at the peak of his career and I was broke because I realised he was taking me for granted and he thought I would keep tolerating his emotional abuse. He said '' why are yiu leaving me now that I have everything ''??
I said...now you have money but there's no respect. So not all women are businesswomen. We falll in love too. And stay throughout the struggle phase then it's upto the man how he behaves.
Edit: the marriage was based on a very big lie. And I found out.
Liked. So you're saying the good Doctor is correct. What is emotional abuse?
@@dominicanfrankster -- When man does not obey her, she calls it abusive.
My first gf left me once I succeeded. We met as students. She dropped out almost immediately. I continued studying for years while she worked and supported us. Once I graduated and got a good job the power dynamic reversed. She was used to calling the shots, and had become complacent. Suddenly I could afford to call the shots too, and she didn't like it. Other women started to notice me. She could either raise her bar, or leave. She chose to leave. Maybe she interpreted my empowerment as disrespect.
Smells like you lost control
Correction: I no longer had the leverage, so he wasn't treating me the same way and wasn't obeying my every command, so it felt like emotional abuse.
When privilege is all you've ever known and someone takes it away, it feels like oppression.
As I watch this enthralling video, it resurrects the painful memories of my recent breakup a relationship of four years that ended just three months ago. The woman who meant everything to me decided to leave, plunging me into a vortex of heartache. Despite my desperate attempts to reconcile, I find myself trapped in a cycle of frustration and longing, unable to envision a life without her. Despite my efforts to move forward, I find solace in expressing my lingering affection for her here .
Releasing your grip on someone you deeply care about can be a formidable challenge. I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 7 year relationship came to an end. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with him, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention bring us back.
How did you discover a spiritual counselor, and what's the procedure for me to get in contact with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is a highly recommended spiritual counselor, specializing in reuniting individuals with their former partners.
Thank you for this invaluable information; I've just checked her out online. Very impressive indeed!
bot
It's not woman missing but relationships with loyalty that's missing. This integration is the most important thing. Men and women who wants to stay when things gets hard.
I was in a relationship for 23 years ( 22 married). As soon as i was diagnosed diabetic, the bottom fell out. Bottom line: even if they've "proven" their devotion earlier, they can turn on a dime. Never trust a woman, trust yourself.
Wow, it's a shame it took so little for her to walk. 2 years after I divorced I also was diagnosed, but at that time, I was becoming red-pilled so it was ok in my head. My brother, life isn't fair. But life isn't over, either. Be well
@@Last_one_before_I_go Thanks. Sadly, i tried to get my nephew red-pilled after his short term marriage fell apart. he couldn't accept it and shot himself in the heart in March of 2023. One and done at age 33. Really sucks.....
@@jamespeters920 - Oh, that is so sad, I'm sorry for your family loss. How delicately a divorce is handled by both sides plays such a part in the outcome, and i can only suspect this was part in that. But we men are slow on the uptake to the realities of that. Be well.
@@Last_one_before_I_go I love your hopefulness...🙏🏼
self-awareness is king.
I truly believe the fact that we’ve always lived this “fantasy” out with my man is the reason our emotional connection and chemistry is so strong. We’ve been together from our early 20s (now late 20s & early 30s) and all of our 20s we were broke as can be..but we were always content, because we helped each other out so much and kept the morale high against all odds, I am 100% certain the man will be able to be a single provider one day, as he wishes so I can stay home with our kids👌🏻 we developed the mentality of “the two of us against the world” and “together we can’t fail” and it has been a profoundly meaningful relationship all around for both of us..I actually do get a lot of judgement from some women for sticking with a guy who isn’t rich, not 6’ tall, yet I don’t personally know anyone more in love than us..
4:04 Dr. Taraban your Oscar for best Dramatic performance has been shipped. Please stay tuned for tracking information lol
I wish I could've seen him during his acting days
I was gonna say, he was an amateur actor in his 20's I guess he wanted to showcase some of his skills here. :D
@@mateagoston8145 Right! He's got three credits on IMDB. Total Method Actor
😂😂
Oh, for real. I rolled.
Dr your comedic skills are high this video! Men and women are not equal and therefore unable to be partners. Rather complimentary to one another which is equal on a whole❤
That's what exactly how partners are, that how you choose a partner: someone who can compansate from your own shortcomings. And also man and woman are not equal? No shit, but this imply that woman as a group are equal and man as a group are equal, when in actuallity no two individual in this world are equal, we are all different.
Solid advice, delivered at the right time to me, thanks!
I hit the Thanks button with my donation because I have gotten so much value from you content.
Read this somewhere that most women want a wedding, not a marriage.
I wanted to elope, and my husband was on board with me. We have been together a decade now, I love him! I rarely come across women my age who chose to elope... shockingly they're all miserable... upside down world we live in.
watch Moral Orel
@@moonafarms1621 You sound like a wonderful very loyal woman. Thank you for being alive.❤❤❤
This. There are leftover women now having wedding themed birthday parties lmao.
@@moonafarms1621 Are you saying the reason your marriage has been long lasting and happy is because you eloped and didn't have a marriage ceremony? Cause that's frankly ridiculous ma'am
This one made me stop in my tracks. One thing that I’ve thought about over the years of being single is that I wouldn’t take my next partnership for granted if/when I found myself in a new relationship. Here I am, in a newish relationship and I’ll be putting this in my back pocket along with all the gratefulness. Thank you for this!
3:50
I spit my coffee all over my table. Thanks for the laugh 😂
Excellent acting Orion!
never thought i would laugh here lol
So many men having experienced this, cannot be a coincidence
I believe this. Men are interested in partnership and women are interested in emotional connection.
I heard a very wise man once say “a successful marriage is 1% love and 99% logistics” and I think that is so true. I’m a woman and desire deep emotional connection. My DH desires peace, harmony and functionality. I’ve had to adjust my thinking around that a good bit over the last 20 years. Our marriage is definitely a partnership.
As a woman I assume the same about men. My dad taught me it. My partner did the same with me. Specially cause he’s divorced. and that’s how we are both super happy with each other. We prove constantly that we’re worthy of each other’s precious time.
My dear. Don't put men in the same fickle boat with women to make yourself feel good. You can still find a shred of nobility in a condemned man than you you'd find in an upright woman.
That acting was impeccable. Couldn't stop laughing. 😂😂😂
You got yourself a little badge just to be a dick?
@@Pseudo-japanese he used to literally be in theater… 😄
?
@@Pseudo-japanese it was hilarious 😂
Whatchu talkin about Willis
A woman’s ideal relationship is like the movie Pretty Woman. A man’s ideal relationship is like Bonnie and Clyde.
Lol Yaiks no..what a disgusting analogy
Prostitute movie analogy? Really. Your mom failed raising you 🙄
There is no avoiding the male burden of performance. Single, married, whatever. To exist as a respected male member of society, you must be and remain useful.
Well men are avoiding it.. being respected doesnt matter at the end.. What are the benefits of being respected again apart from male ego massaging?
You'll never be loved or cared for
Tom Brady was lacking performance? He is a top performer. Women leave because loyalty is an alien concept in female brain. They pursue feelings.
@rayrwyr Why you you males think that Tom Brady's talent in throwing a ball translated into healthy romantic relationship skills?
@@rayrwyr he was a ba5d fthr.
This matches my own experience. I was married once, and around 2021 I was diagnosed with PTSD and I was having a really hard time coping with it. My ex changed. It was like a mask came off suddenly. She went from telling me "I'm so happy with our life together," "you're the best husband," etc., etc., to telling me I was a piece of garbage and the worst person she's ever known. I ended the marriage, but she definitely decided it was over once I demonstrated weakness (PTSD). She turned into a screeching she-demon and did everything in her power to destroy me, until I decided to actually walk out. I will never get married again.
Women loathe weak men and punish them. A man must never show weakness and vulnerability to his woman. Woman asks for emotional availability from her man and when he opens up his emotions to her, she loses all respect for him. Woman wants her man to be the rock because rock has no emotions.
Hmm, I hope you were a saint during your hard times. Because it's very easy to expect people to take in your changes but not see how your changes are affecting others.
My partner and I never got the opportunity to marry as he passed away just months before we were planning to wed. We were together 8 1/2 years. I held his hand as he left us. Marriage is sacred, but so is standing by the person you love and cherish until their final breath x
Your best episode to date, Orion. In my experience, the only woman who doesn't leave when the going gets tough is the one, who has nowhere else, or no one else to go to.
great point.. we should not assign virtue where there are no other options..
😮 that's a crappy life experience.
She will stick around with you as long as you are her best option no matter how far you have fallen.
Wow, damned if she do, damned if she don't...y'all are hopeless
I can't help but think of abused women who are in the same situation.
There are wonderful , phenomenal women out there that truly want a partner. You’re probably not going to find one…
So grateful that I did, the second time around.
@@lancewalker6067 mate honestly you're just wrong
Orion mocking and exposing the wedding vows for what it is really hits home. There's really not that much mystery to relationships. Being attractive and being successful gives you all you need to have a good life, and good relationships with women.
Without God it'll all come crashing down.
This is the biggest lie told to men. I’ve dated attractive and successful men and walked away due to the lack of character and relational intelligence.
@@Curiousmind7777agreed. If a woman isn't a Christian, i don't care how pretty she is.
I've dated pretty women who weren't Christian. Worse than a waste of time. @@thomasjefferson6334
@Curiousmind7777 Nope , their success and wealth gave them the opportunity to at least experience you in bed - be it for 5 days, 5 months or a year; whereas you'd not have even given him the time of day had it been a broke man with good character and relational intelligence.
I wish I had someone drill these harsh realities early in my life.
But then without the knowledge and sufferings I have now, I would not believe it anyway. It is just so damn difficult to NOT be a hopeless romantic.
I spent half of my life looking for romantic love. My divorce taught me that it is a fantasy.
thats just it..its hopeless...woman can never be satisfied
Women on the dating app profile: "I am a hopeless romantic."
I guess it means she wants a man who will worship her and sit at her feet.
@@workingshlub8861 The trick is not to try.
Maybe. But if I may suggest, there are ways of having healthy productive relationships, that don't involve equality. Within that context a man can be both romantic and chivalrous.
I personally think men need to be more aggressive with frame. My tired old stance is that men should assume the title of master within the family context. I believe the fundamental feminine fantasy is to be owned, but that there is a good kind of ownership.
Honestly it saddens me to see so many men fighting their benevolent tendencies rather then channeling them. I have to believe that you can be a good boy, and still win. But you can't be halfhearted. You have to be willing to be unfair. You have to be willing to be bold. You have to be willing to be offensive.
There is something in the essence of the spirit that allows one to dominate another. This charismatic possession can be fed through submission. Thusly any man could possess any women, if she where willing. Alas we've forgotten the practices of the spirit, and we scorn submission that most powerful of gifts. I can't quite fathom it, but I know this is where attraction happens. This is where bonds are forged.
Being a good wife is not an accident. It involves deliberate self grooming. a sort a meditative brainwashing, regular physical exercise. A diet of beliefs.
This isn't over. If I am to be a good man I have my work cut out for me.
A woman here. I can only talk from experience, so take my words with a grain of salt:
Most women I knew, me included, want partnerships too but we realize that the definition of partnership for men is totally different than the one we envision. For example, for me partnership means mutual understanding, mutual care, helping each other with all the tasks, taking big decisions together, understanding each others mental and emotional struggles and support each other through that no matter what, share financial burdens, house chores and for those who want kids: childcare. But sadly most men's definition of partnership is pretty one-sided: is my woman supporting me through hard times? Will she stay with me if I am poor?: yes she will, she definitely will if you treat her like a partner too. If you love her unconditionally too. If you understand that she also gets tired and stressed at work. That she needs you to do your share of housework and childcare. If you understand that she needs rest just as much as you if not more. That she is not a superhuman and has limited energy. That she would also like you to cook for her and do the laundry for her and spoil her ( with care: like preparing a warm cup of tea for her without her asking you to do that, just like women do for men but they rarely notice).That's the trick.
Most women I know go to extreme lengths to salvage their relationships. Me included . I put so much effort to solve all our issues to try and attain that fair partnership but it is so complicated everytime bcs most the time you don't listen to us when we explain to you that something is wrong until we realize that we are killing ourselves in the relationship.
Women don't want you to make their life easier. We understand that it will most likely be more difficult then back at home with our parents or when we are single but we also don't want you to make our life a hell where we are not listened to, not accepted the way we are and overworked.
Watching all my friends and family in my generation getting married lately has made me pine for marriage myself. Thanks for helping me get over the madness.
They are being forced into marriage by ultimatums from their gfs. They are looking at you with envy.
😂.
If you need someone else to convince you not to get married then you're not ready for marriage.
2:28 "Power couple" gives me the man-ick. Honestly, when you hear that phrase uttered, you realise how different men and women are. No part of it appeals to me whatsoever. It's so utterly irrelevant to anything I desire in a relationship, they might as well be describing another concept completely. When you hear how important it is to a woman though it's a massive 'tell' about how discordant we are as a species.
Women think power comes through their job. Men think of power internally first and foremost and then his influence as imbued through his employment.
@@hmurchison8123 Women have a variety of ideas about where power comes from. One of them is their job, certainly. Other categories include things like whatever might happen to make a friend envious. And thats principally what they're hinting at when they say "power couple". They want a man to have a certain profile that would make their friends wish they had him instead. If they see their friends/other females being attracted to him this heightens their own attraction because they're so hive minded.
At any rate though it's just antithetical to how I think as a man. I don't care what power or status she has. I'm FAR more interested in her not being an utterly insufferable, selfish person.
@@sammyb1651 Men have their own issues with seeking validation but this is an arena in which women are head and shoulders above men. Power Couples look great from the outside but don't have kids. There's no power to add more than 24 hours in a day.
I've had a few women tell me they weren't feeling me until they saw other women showing interest. That's foreign to most men, most of us don't need approval from others to "like" someone. I love women, I value women but men and women are simply different by dint of culture and physiology and this notion that we're the same with different sexual organs is being sent to the dustbin. I don't agree with all red pill ways but more men acknowledging their intrinsic value is a step in the right direction.
@@hmurchison8123 I agree. Positive steps would include men understanding that endless sacrifice for a female is not the way to live life. Also, that you don't exist as a man solely to make womens lives easier. Both of which attitudes are a genuine problem btw.
@@hmurchison8123 I've dated several models and strippers. My male friends looked at me very differently when I was pulling women so good looking, they were professionally good looking. I wasn't dating them because other men expressed interest but I'm not going to pretend that my friends being impressed and a little jealous didn't boost the ole ego.
Shortly before my parents met, my dad had declared bankruptcy. My mom was making money equivalent to a six-figure job now. They were engaged in just 3 weeks and have been together for 38 years. I personally think that women also want partnership, but that men don’t often have the emotional capacity for true emotional support. And so they settle for their lives being improved financially. And if their life stops being improved financially, then they suddenly realize they’re not getting anything out of the relationship. I think that you’re approaching this from the wrong angle. Making it like women are not loyal, when in fact, it’s simply that men need to work on their emotional capacity. Women typically feel more supported by other women than their spouse and so I think that’s why they aren’t as loyal.
Might explain why women are so offended by the idea of a prenup. Because they are the ones who will break their vows.
Incomplete analysis.
1. Because they marry for gain
2. Because they are likely to break their vows in the absence of (continuing) gain.
That about covers it.
A prenup violates this strategy.
Yes only gld dggng mn want prenups. Bcoz he expects her to put her time, health, finances and energy on the line. But expects to safe guard h5is $. Mn who ask for prenups are the GDs.
It gets thrown out anyway. Useless piece of papers…
Prenups protect both Partners.... If my husband has a lot of money and I don't .... I respect him more because he wants a prenup. 🙏🏼❤️
@@zaq1337 You are right... Get your assets protected by an irrevocable contract trust. They cannot be broken up in court like a prenup can.
Thanks, Orion. Yet another, spot on ringer. I so appreciate your content. Too, it’s been a distinct and not so surprising pleasure to watch your channel evolve and grow. WRT this episode, the operative word here is ‘fantasy’. Oh, and lest there be ANY confusion, it’s an ageless, timeless and irrefutable FACT transcending all ages races, creeds and religions, that without fail, the #1 cause of divorce between men & women in literally EVERY instance is - wait for it…marriage! Please keep up the good work, Doc, for it (you) are having a profound and lasting positive impact.
I have studied interpersonal attraction in my final year project for my psychology degree and what stood out for me was how like-mindedness seems to be the glue that keeps people together. When you get to know someone and discover that they see the world similar to you and share your values then a bond forms. A great example of this is John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
Every married guy thinks everything is OK until she says those three little words......I'm not happy....
nailed it...
Oh God.. then what’s th deal when a man says those words?.. does that mean he’s too far in his feminine? 🤦🏻♀️
@@gloriamariadc7757 Men don't whinge as easily as women. Stoicism is generally a male trait.
@@gloriamariadc7757 Men's obligations in marriage are enforceable by law, hence men have every reason to be petrified when men hear those 3 words.
@@gloriamariadc7757 why would a man say those words?
9:30 - I am a woman and my dream is to have to become the best teammate couple with my husband. But then again, men get bored when you match their masculine energy. If he does this and I match that (or in some cases excel in what he does), eventually he'll resent me. So what should women do then?
Ok dude, there are plenty of women, like myself, who bought into the 50/50 idea and got married. It’s 40 yrs later and it’s been more like 75 me/25 him, not to mention his cheating and money issues…and now I’m his caregiver due to his terminal disease… no love or affection towards me, but I’ve kept my end of the bargain. I don’t blame women who are looking for a partner to help improve their life. Good for them! That, to me, is true romance…
Do you call your husband, "Dude"
wow... the acting... the advice... may you live 100 years Dr. Taraban
🤢
This is so sad. I believe the marriage vows are one of the most beautiful things that exist. It's not only about the woman committing, but the man also. Neither of them are allowed to leave because they made a *vow.* The heart of the problem with broken relationships and marriages is lack of faith. Fewer people keep their vows nowadays because few people know what a vow is... that if they break that vow, they are turning their back not only on their partner, but also on the better part of themselves and God. There is more to life than material happiness. The vow forces us to look beyond to something unchanging and eternal as the source of our happiness. Guys and girls out there, if you want someone to stay by your side, get some faith and find a woman with faith. You're relationship is only as strong as your commitment is to something higher than yourself.
I just broke up with my girlfriend 3days ago
and I want to say that this video is a thousand percent true it's spot on
take his advice guys
take care
What happened man?
I stayed faithful to my husband both while he made mid 6 figures, and when he was unemployed. I didn’t gain weight or stop taking care of myself during it all. Yet once he was making a lot of money again he cheated on me with a woman 20 years older than me. Perhaps someone can explain this to me?
You think he loves a woman 20 years older than you more than you? He probably just lived that moment.
It was a moment of weakness after she threw herself at him. Men don't need to have feelings for, or even like some of the women they sleep with. Women do. Please understand the difference.
My husband and I have been married 14 years and we’ve always been poor and sick. I don’t know about other women, but they should know money and health don’t last forever
It feels hopeless when I hear this, I still know I'm better off knowing the truth
There have been several episodes where I felt it personally spoke to me
This, was the most
Mostly because my last relationship was the closest I felt to something like this
Reflecting back
Most of the other women were reliable… but up to a point
It’s why we have the saying, “a *man* of his word”
When I look at clips on Instagram and see the comment section
A lot of times it’s women who offer push back
Sometimes with something reminiscent of legitimate criticism
Otherwise, shame, insults, and guilt
I really expected better from people growing up
But, a few things I’ve taken away from this content is:
• greater level of awareness and discernment
• courage to establish boundaries
Patrice O’Neal had it right
“It’s our fault”
Meaning, men can change this
Not everything or at once
But over time we can set a better standard
The problem is the thing between our legs sometimes is in control. It has been in constant control for milloons of years.
Ah Patrice O Neal? The guy who kickd the buckt 3 decades before the avg life spn. He spoke so much about wmn’s weight, wmn in general that he didn’t look into any mirror. His own toxcity kld him 🤣 The clownery is real 🤡
Gynocentric governments won't let that happen.
@@manifest2203
You mean same man that Dr. Orion Taraban references several times?
Yeah, that’s the one
Patrice’s death because of his own weight doesn’t invalidate the logic
He may have mentioned large or overweight women in a derogatory way
But that wasn’t the bulk of his talks or criticism
He *was* known to “enjoy their company” from time to time
@@guyberryman574
You can either give up and roll over
Or do something at the ground level
Make yourself as high value of a person as you can
Then live your life by design as much as you can
So true. Great take.
This really hurts to hear, I am a young guy and I am a hopeless romantic, I want a partner with whom I can share everything, I want to love and be loved for who I am. It might be the end of humanity if AI is able to create this very fantasy IRL.
As a romantic, you will be deceived and disappointed. You will pledge to protect your woman at the cost of your own life, if necessary; but she won't understand you, will dismiss you and may branch out for the sake of her emotions. Beware, that will happen to you, unless you operate a change of paradigm from romanticism to more realism.
Get your passport
If you are a young guy, let you live your experience, but remember that you have only one life. The girls can come and go away. If you want to love, just do it! But don’t let any girl to disrespect you. I ‘ d say this to my son.
Bury your romantic fantasy deep underground.
Not if, when!!!
Way to crush my dreams Orion.
Better to hear it now than live the nightmare later and find out the HARD way.
8:00 to 8:45 as I have experienced with my friends 💯
My husband is disabled now and we have young children. He lost his job from his disability and I’ve tried supporting the family by working and I also have to do everything the house.
That’s just reality. Life is hard.
Orion has been saying the same thing but tackling it from different angles and in deeper depth. As I am reading the comments, I can tell this video came at a powerful time for most. It takes some bashing, repetition and different perspectives to get through to men.
I am lucky my inner being lashed out about bullshit “sabotaging” the relationship I was in. She left and the on and off is over between us because I finally realized the literal bot I was fawning over. She also was talking about marriage in 3 years. I grew up being blamed for everything so began to find my faults in all of her insecurities. But something in me bred toxicity towards her toxicity and it saved my future. Not many are as lucky as me.
"no one has done that for him in his entire life". What about his mother?
Thats why a mother figure is so important, men can recognize what true selfless love looks like.
If that's what they are looking for as a grownup man in wife its not about partnership! Its about only recieving because mother gives only = They are still selfish babies!!!
Masculine man is happy to be provider for a whole family as much as its possible for him. I know nowadays its though.
Those who never grow up still want mommy selfless love in adult life. Theyre still selfish babies.
I think everyone is selfish, so its pretty natural to want selfless love. Growing up means being able to survive and keep growing without it, but we do want to be loved as selfeshly as possible.
Every relationship is transactional , time is the most liquid currency there is and is subject to opportunity cost, so thats inevitable. But not all transactions are paid with selfless love, or something that is close to it.
Just like any market, if you have not seen the product before you cant distinguish its quality.
@@ksieznamusic Says the narcissistic wahman that still want daddy's selfless love and authority in her adult life. You're still a selfish baby.
@@stefanob.5251 You are a perfect example of capitalism alienation. Many people are selfless. You simply live in a capitalist dystopia.
My friends married young. They are 36 years old. Just paid off their house. Have 2 lids....best partnership I've seen. And she let's him lead. He told her years ago to trust his plan and be on board with it. She did and they are doing well. Such an example.
Honestly, it's so miserable....that men only want a woman who is going to be there when he really needs her, who loves him for who he is....someone who said her marriage vows and actually intends to follow them. Literally a FANTASY, how sad!!!
Not only will most women not do that, but they will say the vows and let you think that they will ...right up until their surprise announcement, SURPRISE! I'm actually not going to honor my vows. Later! That's actually the reality.
Dreaming of a Woman who will love you for who you are, and be there through thick and thin. Literally a FANTASY. How awful
Really? Mn never sh6ut up abt yngr wmn. They “love” better than wmn? Nope.
@@manifest2203 Nailed.
@@manifest2203 It's you that won't sh6ut up about yngr wmn. Sorry you got replaced by one.
😂😂😂😂😂
@@manifest2203God you're bad at arguing.
Let's just be straight up here, men are attracted to fertility and want to spread their seed, but the romantic fantasy and finding true love, companionship and teamwork where the TEAM has undying devotion to the TEAM.
So yes, men unequivocally love more than women, you cannot argue otherwise in a romantic sense because men actually love, and with that love comes responsibilities to the thing you love.
Women do not love because they will quickly shirk responsibilities and abandon their "love".
Most* Men get married because they didn't have the opportunity of regular sex when they were single. They meet a girl that appears to be into him, with regular sex - he quickly falls in love because he's not used to this feeling of being loved and appreciated.
He marries her because he thinks the regular sex and respect will continue.
But now she knows everything about him, there's no mystery, and now she's bored. Therefore desires other men, but not her husband. Sex with the husband is now a chore and tries to avoid it, only giving in every now and then to keep him from complaining.
Simply because she needs to be emotionally stimulated constantly, in order to desire sex with that person. Just about impossible for a husband to do.
Commitment kills the magic.
Moral of the story is, unless you've found a 1 in a million girl, don't marry her, you have too much to lose and very little to gain