I Don't Love My Wife | Clip | Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- Does marriage have to be based on love?
Umar Ibn Khattab رضي الله عنه said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife:
“Why do you want to divorce her?”
The man replied, “I do not love her.”
‘Umar رضي الله عنه said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”
He went on:
“You men! When we marry, we give a serious promise to her. A woman gives birth to children and goes through hard times during her pregnancy. Then she suckles the baby and takes care of her children all through the night when they get sick or need anything. She sacrifices her beauty and youth to be a mother.
How fair is it, if her husband leaves her when she gets old? If she had never taken care of her home and family, instead taking care of her body and beauty, her husband would say: “What a bad mother she is.”
Where are integrity and loyalty? Fear Allah regarding your behavior towards your wives.”
📖 Al-Bayan wa at-Tabayeen, 2/101; Fara’id al - Kalam, p.113
Clip from Al-Aqeedatul-Waasitiyyah | 92 The Wives of the Prophet ﷺ | Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari:
• Al-Aqeedatul-Waasitiyy...
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After "slow your role, babydoll" and "take a chill pill, Mr. Sweet will" we have "don't trip, chocolate chip"
Dialogue upgrade 😭👍
And also “See you later, alligator”
Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife: Why do you want to divorce her?
He said: I do not love her.
He said: Are all families based on love only? What about care and decency? (‘Uyuun al-Akhbaar, 3/18).
It must be pretty miserable to have to see a person you no longer love for the rest of your life just because you have decency and care.
Lack of love in the family is a dangerous thing too, children can sense it, they can see that their parents do not love each other under their own roof.
Righteous people always find a way out, emotional people don't.
You mean find out a way 😂 find a way out means in this context to always find something to escape the current situation.
May we all be grateful for our spouses and stay with them fisabilillah. If they’re righteous Allah will bring goodness InshaAllah.
By the permission of Allah subhanahuwata'ala, ameen.
Also, asallamu alaykum my brother (or sister, akhi or ukhti fil deen) in islam. I just wanted to let you know that you're missing out on multiple hasanat for not only yourself but for others as well. You can gain all of these hasanat by simply adding full honorifics after mentioning the name of an important person in Islam or even Allah subhanahuwata'ala. Here's some more information about this: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_honorifics
Also, make sure to use a capital 'a' when writing the first letter of the name of Allah subhanahuwata'ala in english as not doing so could be disrespectful. Also, it's better that you refrain from using the abbreviation for these honorifics as described in this fatwa: www.aliftaa.jo/Question2En.aspx?QuestionId=3607
Take no more than 5 minutes to read this page and increase your good deeds greatly Insha'Allah subhanahuwata'ala (most people don't add subhanahuwata'ala after using a common phrase like Insha'Allah but I just do it for extra good deeds).
For your case specifically, please do not have a lower case 'g' in your channel name when you say you love God almighty and instead you can change your channel name to 'iloveAllahsubhanahuwata'ala'.
May Allah azza wa jal grant you Janat-Al-Firdous-Al-'Ala in the next life without any hisaab and give you ease in all of your affairs in this life. Ameen ya Rabal'alameen
وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة
ربنا هب لنا من ازواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إماما
Bismillah, Fear Allah in regards to your marriage oh Muslims. No women in this earth is perfect even the mothers of the believers may Allah have mercy on them were a test for the prophet
“And live with them [wives] in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good”
[an-Nisaa’ 4:19].
Muslim (1467) narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “No believing man should hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he may be pleased with another.”
Shaytan loves to separate 2 righteous couples from each other May Allah preserve you.. Naudhubillah
Love doesn’t last forever and the brother made it clear, life isn’t a Hollywood movie. We are muslims we do not go on our whims and desires like animals. There are probably millions of more attractive people walking the streets doesn’t mean you gotta be ungrateful with what you have.
Real talk! Toyyib!
Love is needed in a relationship...the question is what is love? most people confuse love with physical attraction. Love consists of taking care of each other and growing in helping each other to grow in all possible way including on religious level.
Very good lecture Alhamdulillah but I still love my wife even though we been married for 18 years Alhamdulillah
Thanks for raising this topic. Many are confused in this issue and nobody guides so clearly.
Make duaa for each other and for others, may Allah guide all the people and keep them steadfast and grant you all spouses and children who are the coolness of your eyes and make you imams of the people of taqwa and protect your progeny from shirk and make you and them establishers of salah. May Allah grant you all the best of both worlds and protection from the hell and make guidance easy to adhere to. May Allah protect you all from the punishment of the grave and from the accounting and the punishment and enter us into Jannah directly.
Aameen
Aameen
Aameen
الحمد لله حاضر وجزاكم الله خيرا
😂 I enjoy the examples plus the true to the core advice
Beautiful uplifting answer.
Absolutely beautiful words by Abu Mussab! I am most certainly learning a lot of wonderful things.
That's really true. Plus in Hollywood movies they constantly promote toxic codependent kinda love. that's more like obsession. When you have Allah and in Islam in your life. That love becomes healthy and peaceful. If people are not careful enough l they would end up depending on people way too much to be happy (which might lead to some kinda shirk). While true happiness only lies in believing in Allah and being close to him. When the couple have the same values and mindset and they are practising (or trying their best ) 80% of their problems will vanish. And the interesting part is those butterflies that people desperately chase will also be possible by the will of Allah as a result of consistent actions of love.
Very good advice. Straightforward and true.
Man this was needed to be made clear to all this new generation of people nowadays get divorced at the drop of a button over minor things.
Good advice and admonition............May Allah (swt) bless you and increase you in piety and good deeds Abu Mussab
Thx for guiding me i love u brother
may Allah bless ..such beautiful advice..jazakumullah khair bro.
Allah ta'ala bless you brother
Ar-Rum 30:21 And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
1:50 😭😭😭 this part thooo
😂😂😂😂😂 rigghtt bro i replayed this part again and again
May Allah bless you and your family Aameen
Physical attraction is important and is a major part in a marriage
So many people (women especially) don't take care of their body/beauty after marriage and let themselves loose
Don't get me wrong, of course pregnancy,etc would cause a woman to lose her beauty to an extent but working out, maintaining can greatly reduce that effect and would contribute to longevity of attraction
In regards to this statement, I agree, However beautifying ones self for their spouse is a right of both the man and the women, so neither should "let themselves go", and even further than that, your body is an amanah from Allah (SWT), the reason why extra weight doesn't look beautiful to humankind is because I believe subconsciously the human eye can tell it stems from a problem within, and leads to dying faster, senility, and laziness. And if we fulfilled Allah (SWT)' rights before human beings, we would have far less problems. This also goes to the statement of the prophet (s) in which he states, filling the stomach with one third food. This is metaphorical, what he really means is you should never be full, and should only eat when you are truly hungry, and overeating is a shameful act. May Allah (SWT) forgive me and others for that.
This is a big problem among our desi community both men and women don’t take care physically. They only care about job and if their kid is a doctor or engineer or not.
@@muhammadhamza4563 well some of them yes but those who are really aware of the importance of keeping your figure the best you can,your inner self and outward beauty clean and presentable for your spouse always,are there and in general men love women so most times they don’t marry again for reasons like that,it’s just marrying someone you like to avoid looking at that woman who is haraM for you …
@Stephanie Asiya Na’m agreed🫰🏽
And vice versa
Bro not everyone can workout ,the likes of me I’m so not into working out except in my house which is very inconsistent….because going to the gym is no no for me since there’s always men around even if it be a few there’s a chance ….what’s important is to do our best to keep the figure nice and clean at all times ,plus wearing all those petty clothings the women will be wearing outside and even do better ,that way your husband will hardly see any attractions in any of them because his mind will always be on you (hence you do it better not being shy in his presence)
BarakAllahu Feekum Sheikh, I will repost this InshaAllah as small clips.
Abu Mussab and his examples 1:50 😭😭
Truest truthhh
"don't trip chocolate chip" ~Abu mussab, 2022.
The statement of Umar (R) is taken out of context.
Yes, during their time, when you had multiple wives, of course one marriage could be based on mercy.
The Prophet's marriage with Sawda was based on that, even though at one point he wanted to divorce her.
Fact is, we live in a time where we see beautiful women everywhere outside and in screen, and unless you are a womanizer or have the gaming skills (unIslamic), you are very unlikely to land an attractive women.
And no matter the shouting and shaming from preachers like Abu Mussab, without a beautiful wife, a marriage will very likely be passionless and a chore, and there won't be mawaddah.
Brothers who say they dont love their wives, probably married thinking deen will be enough, or probably because they were getting old and said yes to whoever was presented to them.
I say: dont marry unless you find a very attractive lady. If you do, unless you have a very high eeman, which majority don't, marriage will start with a shaky foundation and will eventually collapse. Shame grenades from Abu Mussab will not work.
Marriage and employment - are the only two options where people say qadr. Of course qadr engulfs everything, but the reason people hide behind qadr when it comes to these two issues is because the society actually didnt find a way to a structured solution. If I want to become a doctor, nobody will say, qadr bro.
In our times, 99% of muslims are in relationship. Many shaykhs get married like that. So they got the desired spouses. For the rest who are not socially savy, are miserable people. For them, if they dont find solution fine, but please spare us hypocritical shame grenade, out of context statement dropping.
Alhamdullilah
This is a personal opinion not a religion based one. Divorce is entirely allowed for ANY REASON.
1:49 bahahahaha that analogy was incredible 😂
don't trip chocolate chip....
MashAllah
Ishaaaddaaa 😅 Allah... had me 😂
Sheikh Bin Baz said u can do divorce if you dont love ur wife in a video titled valid reasons for divorce! Ur allowed to want to be with a woman your attracted to. She's not the last woman on the face of earth
Yes you shouldn’t force yourself into a marriage that you’re not content with.
May Allah guide you ameen
Easy for men, but for women it’s different. Once you divorce her for such a petty reason, she’ll be left alone to fend for herself. She’s not the last woman on earth, but to her, her husband is pretty much the last man on earth. My point is, divorce is never easy on a woman, whereas men can remarry easily at any age. You’d be ruining a life just because you’re not “content” with the way she looks. What happened to getting a second wife?
@@no.964 true
But the reason should be sensible.
Love is basically to be there for ur partner and fullfill ur obligations towards them. People just confuse love with the things they see in movies. Loving ur partner for the sake of Allah is what is important and one thing that lasts. One thing however that I don't think is ok. Is to not even make an effort to understand and communivate with ur partner. They just live like room mates.
What do people think the marriage is a walk on roses all your life. Wake up
Marriage is a commitment not a night party lol
4:52 😂😂😂😂😂
Obviously if their both old their expectations have to be realistic but if one of them realistically doesn't find the other attractive they can get divorce and that's what sheikh bin baz said. We have the right to be realistically attracted to our spouses.
That’s not a good enough excuse, unless they simply cannot bear to look or live with them anymore I.e they can’t fulfill their rights. If that’s not the case they must try everything to keep the love and relationship going, through seeking Islamic counseling, speaking with the knowledgeable people/imams or family from each side, try anything. Divorce for not being attracted to your spouse is childish. We all know looks fade. It would be indefinite divorces for such a person because we will never be satisfied until jannah. Sabr is best and Allah will bestow barakah in the marriage
@@ilovegod5339 yea that's what I meant. Like one of them can't bear the other. Not just mere "uhhh you dont look like a model".
@@hooman467 yeah and they can’t just leave either because they need to seek ruqyah and learn how to lower their gaze. It’s unnatural to just randomly become disgusted by your spouse.
@@ilovegod5339 why not?
Attraction is important as long as it's realistic
@@aatif7518 if you randomly start finding your spouse unnatural after you intentionally married them like that then there’s something unusual about you. Perhaps see a Raqi or perform ruqyah on yourself, it may be Jinn possession. Also learn to lower your gaze because that’s the main problem with these marriage breakups due to unattractiveness.
Kindly Encourage your wife to dress up by bringing her nice dresses/clothes every now and then, or buying her makeup/jewelry etc don’t expect her to do all the work. It’s a two way street
The editing is getting 📈📈📈
@One True Path Āmīn
Essy for a person to talk down upon others when you were fortunate to marry a filipino - most beautiful women on earth.
What u on about sadist
❤️❤️❤️
Dont flip chocolate chip. There will be plenty of options🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤲🤲🤲
0:20 😂😂😂
👍👍👍😊😊😊
I love these short and concise videos nice and easy to swallow in bitesize chunks. JazakAllah khair
Salam wa Alaykum Abu Mussab,
Awalan, Jazakahu Allahu Khayran for your lectures and your videos.
Could I perhaps get your email adress in some way or another to ask for sincere advice regarding a situation.
I know from your videos that indeed you are a sincere man Allahuma Barek and I could use such a man's advice.
Salam wa Alaykum wa Rahmatolahi wa Barakatoh
PS: I'll pay you for your time of course In sha Allah.
His email Is on his channel
@@ilovegod5339 Jazaka Allahu Khayran
@@fouadtoumi5402 wa iyyak
Jennah shud be on first place ya 7abibi fi Allah.
Stop acting like attraction isn't important
Masha Allah these statement from people that are from brainwave is disgusting, every thing is fixable unless the other person totally doesn't fear Allah. Marriage is forever not an experience, and Allah will punish the person the waist part of someone life because they didn't fear Allah. This is why you need Deen and wisdom before you get married.
Some duat say that women will have hoor men in jannah….is this true?
Surat Ya Sin 'Indeed, on that Day the residents of Paradise will be busy enjoying themselves. They and their spouses will be in ˹cool˺ shade, reclining on ˹canopied˺ couches. There they will have fruits and whatever they desire.' Here the residents of paradise refer to the believers which includes men and women. And the "they" refers to what is mentioned in the previous line of the believing men and women. Surat Al-Furqan says "Therein abiding, they have all that they desire. It is for thy Lord a promise that must be fulfilled." Surat Fussilat, “We have been your friends in the life of this world and are (so) in the Hereafter. Therein you shall have (all) that your inner-selves desire, and therein you shall have (all) for which you ask for." In regards to the first ayat I mentioned some translations say "wives" instead of "spouses", but this doesn't make sense, because the first line refers to believing men and women, and the "they" also refers to believing men and women, and women can not have wives, hence "spouses", this also the translation from sahih international. Realistically, I doubt most women would want more than one spouse :) Barak Allahu Feekum.
No one from the Salaf has ever said such a thing.
@@vost2916 Ibn Al Qayyim? I also wanted to add, Allah (SWT) has forbidden the women of this world from having more than one husband, why? because of things like pregnancy and knowing lineage. Her being prone to infections when being with more than one man etc. And the obligations of a man, for example men have to fully provide for their wives, why would she need two incomes when it is only her and her children. The reason Ibn Al Qayyim supported this opinion is because of those verses I mentioned, and we know that the hoor are not from the children of Adam, they are a separate creation. And Surat Ya Sin is clear in that statement, but only Allah (SWT) knows best and you will get whatever you ask after were purified, if we get there hopefully we all do. :) Last point in the Tafseer, for Surat Ya Sin, the 'residents of paradise' is referred to as the generality of believers, hence the "they" in the next line. But truly such nuances don't matter, I was just adding this viewpoint for the person who asked the questions, we know we are slaves of Allah (SWT) and we have no choice, may Allah Bless you.
@@anacarlos7164 Ibn Al Qayyim is not from the Salaf Us Saliheen...
Bro u gotta be attracted to ur wife too Not saying they gotta be Ms. Universe. Uk the scholars allow u to divorce a women if ur not attracted to her right? Like sheikh abdul aziz BIN BAZ
Why would you marry a woman whom you aren't attracted to in the first place?
@@Base. it could be someone married them when they were attractive and then they let them selves go and became unattractive
@@hooman467 huh bro😭😭sometimes it’s hard to maintain that because you went to another level ,,this is commitment to caring for your husband and children and sometimes you have your own struggles to deal with ,it can’t be the same but you can overlook the beauty and be appreciative of her and all she has been
@@Base. I know right?
@@hooman467 Marriage isn't about consuming her beauty in her youth and having her bear your children while she wastes away, and then you look towards her one day and say, "You let yourself go."
The physical beauty is the first step towards love. After being properly acquainted with your spouse's personality and character that love continues to increase. And when you have children together, this love entensifies tenfold. At this point, both the husband and wife would have thought, "he/she let themself go." But what keeps them together is the youth they have spent together, the children they raised together, and the difficulties they have supported each other through. After this point, the man who wishes to divorce his wife, using physical attraction as an argument is simply an ungrateful fool.
Has Allah not allowed for him marriage up to 4?
Where has your mercy and affection gone towards this woman whom you have taken from her father's home, used and devoured, only to toss her back at her fathers' because she no longer has the youth you married her for.
Have to disagree with you sheikh, love is more than romance, it means to care for your spouse and if you don't love them it means you don't care about them or feel anything for them or think about them.
If they weren't in your life it wouldn't make a difference.
If you have love but the romance and attraction has gone then maybe you can stay together.
I am single after being married and in love with my ex wife and that went away as she changed a lot and wasn't the person I loved.
I'm glad I left her and looking forward to meeting a good practicing sister.
I agree people shouldn't break up over little things but sometimes it's best to start over with someone who pleases you and someone you desire
No one said that there is no divorce and that you can't take a second, third and fourth wife!!
Astaghfirullah
Such an Ignorant Comment
Marriage has nothing to do with love, are you in senses?
Movie romance has nothing to do with love.
You seem to have been watching too much Bollywood 😂
Never watched a single Bollywood movie in my Jaahilyah before Islaam. Who in his right mind watches them in the first place?
Besides the point, it is so ironic you say my comment is so ignorant yet the more I read yours, the more I feel it applies to yours... Movie romance has nothing to do with love? What type of substance are you abusing habeebee?
@@OneWayToParadise
Your critical mentality has made you become obsessed about proving your point beyond reasonable understanding.
This is clearly extremism by any definition.
Balance is the beauty of our deen. Unity of hearts has something to do with love. When you love its much easier to overlook weakness and faults.
Relationships based on love is amazing. When there is no love, we need to continue in commitment to the relationship, but to say marriage has nothing to do with love is Jahl. May Allaah guide us all and protect us from such confused understanding.
Having love is a great asset but it is not a condition. And you just accused Omar, may Allaah be pleased with him, of Jahl. Goes to show who is the real Jaahil here. May Allaah guide you.
Umar Ibn Khattab رضي الله عنه said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife:
“Why do you want to divorce her?” The man replied, “I do not love her.” ‘Umar رضي الله عنه said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”
He went on:
“You men! When we marry, we give a serious promise to her. A woman gives birth to children and goes through hard times during her pregnancy. Then she suckles the baby and takes care of her children all through the night, when they get sick or need anything. She sacrifices her beauty and youth for being a mother.
How fair is it, if her husband leaves her, when she gets old? If she would have never taken care of her home and family, instead taking care of her body and beauty, her husband would say: “What a bad mother she is.”
Where is integrity and loyalty? Fear Allah regarding your behaviour towards your wives.”
📖 Al-Bayan wa at-Tabayeen, 2/101; Fara’id al - Kalam, p.113
@@OneWayToParadise
Such distortion is absolutely ridiculous. Please do better my brother. 😂 😂 😂
The very definition of pride and arrogance. You get silenced with evidence and you resort to rubbish gibberish and emojis. Classic act from a Global Traveler. Seems like the only place you have traveled to is the local WC.
Nowadays you also increasingly come across cases (especially in the West) where the muslima wife says: ‘I don’t love my husband anymore’ ☹️
Unfortunately this has become a common issue
@@ilovegod5339 yes and worse part is that many of these women fake abuse to get the husband in trouble just to get rid of him! Not all men can afford lawyers like Johnny Depp had!
May Allah save us
Sometimes also in the east sadly, I think sometimes we women care more about enjoying marriage rather then actually being productive, and sometimes its just from ignorance and the way we were raised. I also think perhaps if we targeted two things, understanding our slavery to Allah (SWT) and that we have no choice, as well as knowing we cant run from him, we'd be more accepting of many circumstances were in like polygamy. I struggle with that all the time. This is why I love what Saleh (as) says in Surat Hud to his people, "Salih said: 'My people! What do you think? If I had a clear evidence from my Lord, and then He also bestowed His mercy upon me, who will rescue me from the punishment of Allah if I still disobey Him? You can only make me lose even more."
@@anacarlos7164 indeed no one can rescue from the punishment of Allah