This Works Better Than Grey Rock
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- This Works Better Than Grey Rock. There is a much deeper truth to grey rock to really be able to detach and no longer be triggered by a narcissist.
Traditional grey rock may not be as effective to stop an abuser from abusing you as you think.
Narcissists know how to get to you, so it can be very hard to just act flat line when they hit your weak spot or go for what is going to incite you into feeling devastated, heartbroken, dismayed, or even betrayed.
Watch my latest Thriver TV episode and let me show you how to stop granting any emotional energy to an abuser because that's what grey rock is all about.
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#ThisWorksBetterThanGreyRock #melanietoniaevans
"Heal what is inside of you that needs healing" - to break the psychic connection. I love this xo
Starts at 8:56
1.Work on the issues that trigger you.
2.Do not engage in conversations that trigger emotions.
3. Only speak of practical things. "What time will be picking up the children, so that I may plan appropriately."
4. Set boundaries: " I do not like where this conversation is heading to. I am going to hang up/walkaway now.
5. Redirect conversation to task on hand.
Number 4 may not work with the task we have on hand. When he is trying to trigger you just say, " I am not feeling well and need to go now. "
thank you for summarizing it, I was about to close the video after a few minutes
What is it with trauma help youtubers that makes so many of them unable to get to the point?
Thanks to Melanie and others I have completely flipped around the situation with my narc. What a fantastic life skill to finally have. It's taken a solid couple of months (ty furlough!). But I'm now at the point where when they come at me with their bs I'm like, 'oh goodie, I get to practise keeping my cool again. What have you got for me today?'. If you're in the grip of things right now, do keep watching these vids and learning - it can work for you too!
Congratulations and well done MrRozebud xoxox
Only 2 months? I envy you. It took me 20 years with my father actively trying to control me and still I’m triggered about people constantly that really don’t give a damn and are stone cold like him.
That's amazing but would you rather not be someone like this? I don't know if I could do this.
It’s so uplifting! I’m addicted to healing now.❤
I would watch out about calling them “my” narc, that keeps you energetically connected. Maybe try “the narc”?
Lisa A. Romano said it well: "Boundaries with narcissists are really INTERNAL boundries."
So true!! I went gray rock before I even knew it was a thing. It happened naturally out of exhaustion and depression. It was nearly catatonic to what extent I stopped carrying about anything at all having to do with him and his life. But he knew it was out of hurt rather than full self-empowerment, so he still got to feel like the prime mover & shaker.
Once I got more healed and he realized it had no longer anything to do with him, my purposeful detachment made him feel about as wanted around as a gray rock.
But then you really can't expect anything from him anymore, can you? I feel like I can only detach if I let go of my relationship goals:(
Yes exhaustion
Toxic people have no boundaries
Gray rock makes me feel like a doormat feel like I just have to give in and let them talk all the shit they want poke and prod at me
11:10 Walk away/leave the convo. Genuine grey rock will not let you feel like doormat because you focus energy inwards on yourself rather than caring about what shit the Narc said. When you're strong enough inside, nothing the Narc says will trigger you anymore
@@ayuu. thanks
I AM SINGING and DOING MY YOGA!!! Snd reading good books!! 😇☀️🙏🌸 Detachment also means that I have my own world where I can charge my batteries and I can enjoy myself!! Sometimes I am telling about my hobbies to my Narcs!! This must be completely boring for them! This can show that I have so many other things to be interested in !! And this is also absolutely genuin and also about my complete ignorance towards them! Hobbies for me are my short cuts to remember who i really am and how lovely person I am!! 🌸❤️🌸
Finally! Someone focusing on how to control what I can, which is healing myself. I want to get to the place where I can feel genuine compassion for the abuser, with total disconnect. That is pure self love. Any contention, resentment, self- righteousness, regardless of how “justified “, does not further my spiritual and emotional growth.
They project their hatred towards you. Happiness and indifference is the answer, its their energy they are wasting they must spend a lot of time thinking about you.
Exactly, they are full of stressful negative emotions and try to get rid of them by blaming someone else.
I’ve had people who have hated me because I smiled
I’m just sat here nodding yes, yes, yes if all the videos I’ve watched this one is the best. This lady got me 100%
NARP is actually the true grey rock. After experiencing NARP-you really don't give a damn-whatsoever....Keep smiling and thriving because....there really is nothing left to do.
_There's_ the perspective.
Just signed up yesterday
I’m so excited to hear this
Hope is a beautiful thing
@@DarkerSideOfDawn Hope is a beautiful thing. Personally, I was being cyberstalked, tons of flying monkees, and basically had agoraphobia. It doesn't happen overnight and I can't explain it to you in a simple paragraph, but I no longer have agoraphobia, flying monkees seemed to peel away-I probably am still being cyber-stalked, but don't care. You really do have to get the trauma out of your body.
" Hope is being able to see the light despite all the darkness"-Desmond Tutu
What does NARP mean?
@@tinaf600 Narcicisstic Abuse Recovery Program
Thanks so much!! Narcs are simply ENERGY VAMPIRES.
Yes....that helped a LOT....and You're right....it's an energy thing....I could barely make the bed.....and I COULDN'T CARE LESS what my narcissist husband did....but he stole my prana...life energy.
You can get it back by doing what she says here.
Ha! I love the Wizard of Oz reference at the end. Once you see it’s really just a little person behind the curtain, not the big terrible entity you thought they were…there’s no looking back!
Thank you so much for this video. I have been dealing with narcissistic abuse from my husband for years now. I never liked traditional gray rock because even if I faked it perfectly, I was still dealing with so much internal turmoil which was so unhealthy. Over the last two years I have worked on addressing and nearly diminishing my triggers. Now that my triggers are around 90% gone, every time I gray rock it’s so much more genuine and it’s so emotionally freeing for me. 2017 was the year he had the most power over me and now he has hardly any power at all. We are coexisting, coparenting together and my daily mantra is “less is best.” I still have some work to do but I see now he’s no where near as powerful as I thought he was. I love the tip about only having practical conversations and nothing emotional, personal or accusational. Now that he’s no longer privy to my emotional life, he’s no longer even able to get ideas of what new triggers could possibly be!! It’s a win win!! I could go on and on about how great your advice is. I’m subscribing!! ❤️
Yes! Get to the WHY so gray rock can really work. I didn’t even realize that, but a few months ago I was telling myself I need to find out why do I get so angry when my mother does certain things. She goes back-and-forth between grandiose and covert narcissism. Thank you for clearing that up, because I’m really trying to figure out how not to be triggered by my mother and make sure I look within to get healing so I can stop getting so angry 😌 God bless you ❤️
I never knew before that a person can switch between grandiose and covert depending on the situation. My mother is all about that and i really started noticing when the pandemic began, so only 2yrs ago and im 27! Its really hard for me to move out as ive been helping her out a lot financially and because of that i did not save up any money to be able to leave. Now that i know what i know i am secretely putting money in my savings account so that one day i can be free and i crave that feeedom so much. Its weird because before i found out i was very happy and felt like i can live here forever. Now i wanna go out as much as i can because it feels like im suffocating at my own home.
I love how powerfully simplistic this teqnique is.
This would shut a narcissist down and give the self peace and power. Lovely to hear your caring voice again.
Hey, this is great because I was curious what "grey rock" actually means. Three cheers for NARP!
Agreed .. I looked up grey rock and this was the second video I watched... Brilliant !! God sent. 🙏❤️
Thank you for doing this video. You hit the issue I was experiencing. My friend's husband is a narcissist and to keep seeing her I will be in his company, and because I am codependent, I have become his target ever since I've known him. I found a small grey rock to carry with me, to remind me to not get sucked in, however I totally felt an important piece was missing, that of healing me so that those words will never cause me any grief.. The rock is my tangible reminder, to not react but monitor why whatever he's saying is bugging me until it becomes like breathing. Something you don't notice you are doing. Being polite, even mono syllable response felt and sounded rude to me. But I did it, felt bad for a minute and the world did not end 🙂
It's about a month later and I continue to attend events with my friend and husband. She and I have so much fun...she's in her 70's and me 81, have known each other since 1997. He's hovering a lot lately but not saying anything snarky. I have one hand in pocket feeling my little rock when he's standing next to me with wine glass in the other at wine/food events. Zero eye contact. One thing I've learned from you and your readers is that this is forever as long as I remain in their company. It is a lot easier as long as I remember, he will never change. She and I do have a great time so it's a small price to pay. Thanks a bunch
I get much pleasure is when people begin to see this narc as he truly is, it's very interesting dynamics! 🙃
This is a very in depth explanation of gray rock method, thanks. In my case, i effectively applied it by first mastering my emotions. Emotion control is very difficult if you are not able to reprogram your mindset which dictates your feelings. You have to think that this narcissist is lower than you because this person is empty and he is a broken man, insecure and a liar. You should not fear such lower entity! He does not deserve my respect! By reprogramming your mindset, its now easy to gray rock the narc. Answer only with one liner devoid of emotion and go away. Be like a robot!
But by the time you can lose emotions and became a robot for REAL and you become a nark
This video was absolutely what I needed right now. Thank you so much. No contact for a year yet the problems continues to escalate with more danger. Grateful. Thank you.
Thank you so much! I have been teaching my clients about how to gain control of the almost purely energetic abuse that these entities work with.
Thank you very much, Melanie! This is so helpful, especially for those who live in places where laws and traditions simply aren't in favor of going no contact with parents. Life threatening situations can happen in extreme abuse cases where the narcissist has inflicted so much pain and the person on the receiving end has no effective way to protect him/herself thus becomes so damaged. Your message literally saves lives!
Sending love and strength to you Rongrong Hun xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you so much! I will keep healing, keep smiling and keep shining my light ❤✊
Yes agree I too come from such a culture
Don't befriend anyone that way you don't get burnt. I love me, I love my own company. All humans are trouble.
Melanie I am so sorry about Tiggy, he was such a beautiful soul and I know how important he was to you, His energy will always be with you deepening your love connections. Rest in peace Tiggy ❤️
Thank you Jan, love to you xoxox
Thanks Melanie for your insight. 😊 I do believe there is a spiritual connection to undelt trauma's. I've had a narcissist female target a trauma that I hadn't fully healed. I've been working on many undelt trauma's. I've found many narcissist have connected through those areas. I'm doing better each day, and feeling better too. 😄
Awesome Paulzed xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans I really like how you deal with the spiritual aspect of healing. Because some people, may not be able able to heal past narcissist abuse without it. 🙂
Super insight on the inner Gray rock.
To make it as short, and polite as you can
Because you are truly gray rocking on!
Thanks melanie.....very helpful....appreciate all ur hardwork for this community....will defo use this all with my mother and ex husband if he ever turns up....lots of love to u zndbur family..btw us don us so lovely ! Watched a video of u two a while ago!!!! Ur both lucky to have each other xxx🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜😇😇😇
Thank You for more clarification on Grey Rock and has helped a lot. Family can be a huge heartache without this and NARP.🙏💕🔥
Totally agree with you!
My pleasure Nancy xoxox
Thank you for spreading that helpful information.
This is a great video. Holistic approach that gets to the heart and truth!
Thank you,You're the best Melanie ❤️
Thank you for this insight! Awesome advice. 😌
No matter how many times you say it; each time you do, something inside of me light up, because going within and healing is truly the answer to narcissist abuse. There is a urgency within us that needs the healing to happen, hence the unbearable pain. I am happy to say that after only discovering you for a month and a half I am now a Narp member. I now place healing myself above everything else in my life and I thank the universe for discovering you. Thank you so much.
Aww Kay, I'm so delighted for you that you are healing and a NARPer now sweetheart! So beautiful and Power to you! Love and blessings xoxox
Excellent information! Thank you so much, Melanie!
It's my pleasure Brigette! Love to you xoxox
A blessing, right here...you GET IT.
You've just cleared up a lot of things for me.
The guy I rent from is emotionally abusive & he always comes back to rip the wound open again.
Tomorrow I have to allow them into my home.
They throw me out a lot.
That is a perverse cruelty, and yes, the injustice and the unfairness and the unwarranted, unacknowledged cruelty has had me on the phone to the suicide hotline more than once.
If I didn't have cats....
I'm too old for this.
I always wondered how I could feel so much progress only to be set back.
Great video...I do the trigger dissolve thing a lot...never thought of doing it with them...now I have something good to work with tomorrow.
I remember my mum trying to get some reaction out if me, I never knew about the term "grey rock" but I knew about narcissism, I realized she wanted a reaction so I literally just completely ignored her when she was talking to me I was just saying yeah without any emotion looking at my phone and engaged in my phone, she got frustrated and walked away. I showed her that I will refuse to react to her crap. Now she's completely distanced herself from me which i actually feel really happy about I think because she knows I don't react to her. I've also deleted her number I want nothing to do with her. Also I think she's distanced herself because I called her a covert narcissist she knows I know who she is, I'm not sure whats in her mind or why she's distanced herself but life is so much better without her
This is absolutely life saving information for co parenting 🙏 thank you
Exactly, gray rock for co parenting is hard or really impossible to pull through...I don't know how to remain gray rock while being abused especially with my child witnessing disrespect. What a weird behavior to show your child, too🙈
thank you, this rings very true. I had a powerful insight listening re the N telling others to grey rock me as a child. Now I can move past this as I see clearly how to be authentic in my own usage of it for self care. I'm a NARP GOLD member for a year now and it really is the best thing ever
Very, very good points but too much talking before getting to it. Viewers skip through the timestamps below for relevant points
4:38
6:12
8:10
10:11
This is brilliant. Thank you so much!
I literally enrolled yesterday
Haven’t sat down to move past the sign up stage yet. Already having positive results. Painful.. but positive. This morning he didn’t do anything but I got triggered anyway.. I followed it home.... You Are Golden
Thank you! focus on the triggers really hit 👏
Thank u 4 taking the time 2 make this video 💖💞
You are so welcome sweetheart. Love and blessings. xoxox
Amazing content. Thank you
Anyone else have chronic fatigue in this situation?
So helpful! I am going to court with my spouse next week; so, I will continue to shift with Module 8, so that I can truly be the big grey rock. Thank you so much!
Hi Katie, good luck next week sweetheart. In case you haven't seen this blog (it may help) ... blog.melanietoniaevans.com/6-things-to-look-out-for-during-court-battles-with-narcissists/ xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thanks for reminding me about this particular blog--it's very helpful. I will keep you posted!
This is so so so helpful
Thank you, you are very wise woman, I subscribed to your chanel and email. You give me so much insight, and always get excited when you post a new video, i know its going to be gold❤️🌟
Thank you PhoenixBG for your lovely words! Bless you xoxox
Sorry for the rant!! I haven’t had anyone to talk to at all! N that also was planned!!
Cute sweater! Good information ty
This is brilliant! I wish I click on this video earlier. I’m subscribe but I’m just not in a mood probably because of overthinking of what if I’m being devalued and already had bad reputation but of course we all know it is already done by the devils (narc) so why worry, it’s already done.
I already know about this topic about fixing your root problem why you lack of confidence (fixing your weakness) so that you will live freely and of course happy but I didn’t knew that this is the only thing that I really have to do so that the narc will never use it against me and I’m not also starting to write my problems even I know the solution because probably scared of failure but now because of your tips I already change my mind it feels like the light 💡 on my head just started to shine brightly. Hope that this is not just a mood but a motivation.
Wish you all the best because you’re kind, smart and yu deserve it. Thank you for helping us. 💓💓💓
You sound so ready to heal and thrive! Love to you xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans I’m bringing back my power! 💗 thank you so much 😍 God bless you ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you makes a lot of sense
Boy was I relieved when I discovered the boy who I thought was a narcissist actually has multiple personalities and the narc personality isn't him, it is one of the alter personalities. I want to get him treated for DID (disassociate identity disorder). Now hopefully it will be easier to grey rock that personality as it isn't him. I'm thinking it won't trigger me. He was subject to enormous abuse as a child and this is why he has all these alter personalities. So I was fooled by this, but many people in Hollywood have DID. I do still love him.
This is proving very hard for me, so I have decided that I just have to break my lease with the narcissist and move out asap. I wish I was better at it, I truly do 😔
Hun, I know firsthand how hard this can be and good for you for deciding to move out. I'd love you to come on into my free 16 Day course for support while you go through this crucial stage of detaching. It's here for you whenever you need it. melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you !!!!
Good advice!
This is exactly what I did with my relative. It so works. Its about healing and having firm boundaries.
At 0:57 that's "defuse," not "diffuse" situations.
my energy/soul connection with my narc-group is both financial and energetic. it is a soul contract that will be broken when our karmic debt dies out, i guess, hopefully
somehow a dog entered my yard and my labrador got pregnant.and this was a very good opportunity for my female narcissist to blame me for not being responsabble and she is like crazy like crazy wants to prove me like insane that"you see,you are the one who is irresponsibble not me,this is the exact proof of what you are"and she's making from this like i am a killer who deserves to serve at least a lifetime sentence.that's how she is punishing me.we have an 11 years old son together,somehow i kept going with this relationship for the good of my son but i really begin too feel that i am loosing my mind with her close by me.so this videos are for me like medicine.many thanks Melanie!a guy from Romania
If a dog is in heat boys will literally chew trough the fence. It is not your fault. I'm sorry you dealing with this for your son.
Dear Raczkovi, my heart goes out to you dear One. I so know how utterly debilitating this must feel for you. I'd love for you to join me in my free healing webinar here melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so you can learn more and how to heal from within to release and replace the traumas in your body and breakthrough this struggle if this resonates with you hun. Love and blessings xoxox
What do you do when you live with them, stuck & they BAIT you to responding no matter how hard you try to gray rock or thrive??
Thank you.
8:34 Oh BRILLIANT. This could help our even save me.
I'm Enormously Interested
If no one is watching you could throw that rock at the narc!
Good timing. My ex and I are finding ourselves spending more time together now that our kids are almost grown (for their many events, etc). Somehow I thought by now I’d hardly ever have to see the guy but I’m almost having to see him more. And I guess when grandkids come along it’s gonna be a whole new level. I’m really trying to master dealing with him so the rest of my life is not pure misery. I’m doing a good job of gray rocking/responding from an outward perspective. But it takes me a lot of time to recover emotionally after being around him. In fact last night I had a bad dream about him after being around him for 6 hours and having him contradict me (even though I wasn’t talking to him!) several times in front of our kids and their friends. It’s like he’s trying to bait me, and I’m doing well not taking the bait. But somehow I have to work on not feeling the impact of his words and presence on an emotional level. It’s hard when I haven’t fully processed the trauma of being married to him and raising kids with him.
Me too... I am married and raising a child 4years... may be we can communicate and each other advice... I am all the way in Africa and no body believes my Husband is sick
@@fadlycherif7753 do you have access to Facebook? There are groups about narcissistic abuse that I’m in that are good. You should join!
thank u!
true to some extent, won't work with violent/aggressive narcissists
The biggest problem with grey rock method is that it's yet another accommodation *you're* making to/for *them.* It also perpetuates the damage done to you, because you're normalizing a method of communication where you're unemotional and distant; in other words, you're only teaching yourself how to sound emotionally numb in conversation with others. I realized in my 40s that I'd already been using grey rock with my narcissistic mother for decades. Our conversations were always one-sided - I listened to what was going on in her life (ad infinitum), without her ever once asking me what was going on in mine. The few times she did ask I immediately deflected the conversation, because I knew it wouldn't go anywhere good. I gave her one-word, noncommittal answers to anything she said, not wanting to unintentionally "set her off" on a rant about something, or even, about me. Unfortunately, becoming used to not offering emotional energy can simply sound cool, distant, and uninterested if it becomes a default way of speaking to people you don't know (I guess the word for this is "defensive"?). I learned to "stay safe" in speaking with the narcissistic parent, and it became a habit I now work very hard to undo. Thank you, Melanie, for pointing out the risks/pitfalls of relying on this oft-touted method!
I detached from the Nark. But how do I deal with the triger from the nark, that is verbal abuse, and nark abuse used against my kids when I'm present. I'm sad for myself, but when its nark abuse against my kids, it breaks my heart.
why am i feeling a reaction to this behavior?
Hi Deborah, there's a trauma wound or belief that's been triggered in your body hun. Here's a blog that may help explain this more for you ... blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-i-deal-with-triggers/ and this one ... blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-answer-to-narcissistic-abuse-that-no-is-talking-about-peptide-addiction/ If you'd like to know how to heal them and experience two healings for yourself I invite you to join me in the next free healing webinar - www.youcanthrivebook.com/3keys Much love xoxox
So my narc is at a gym I attend. I have started physically distancing from her. Now she purposely and shamelessly comes over to my section and starts talking. I’m trying to grey rock, but feel like I’m no good at it. Whatever I say, she turns into a negative on my part. Like “how was your trip”? I say: “uneventful”. Her response: “oh, I guess you didn’t see the good stuff then”. It’s frustrating. How do I deal without being rude and looking like the bad guy?
This method is 110% is the way. You don't even notice the toxic things.
You have risen way more above than it could even imagine.
And you will be more whole and positive and people even the flying monies will actually support and side by you instead of it.
Someone needs to outshine their doom and gloom miserable way and show others you can be you instead of walking on eggshells around it.
If you fear what they may say or lie about you then you have work/insecurities within.
But how do you work on the emotions that trigger you?
How can u stop fearing retaliation when the narcs are constantly retaliating?
Going to take a lot is practice
Can you make a video like this for little ones with narcissistic caretaker(s)?
Ines, please know I have produced many resources to help you navigate. If you Google my name and 'our children' and 'parallel parenting' you can source them. This category link will take you to most of them. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/category/supporting-our-children/ Love and blessings xoxox
Excellent vid. All truth. You hit many a fact. ❤
Starts at 8:15
So *_how_*_ do you detach?_ Especially from a family member that you are dependent on?
Become independent or if you cant, depend on someone else.
Grey rock works when u have healed yes, doesn't work if it's just a show. If you are truly unaffected by them it works
I have healed those things along time ago!! However they dnt need to be brought up!! Of course that’s upsetting it will always be upsetting! I was sexually abused by my mother n stepfather!! 7 years of therapy n hard work n we got as far as we could therapeutically!!! I had to forgive them in order to be at peace but I also will not have them in my life!! Not ever!! N no one has a right to use anything u shared with them
Would you have the name of your title music, that you play?
I don’t agree....if you don’t provide ‘food’, the narcissist will eventually have to move on or starve. If you are trapped, get out. If you’re not, but can’t shake them out of your life completely for some reason, gray rock will be effective. Keep your cool...that is the key.
I've heard about a 3rd party app for co-parenting with manipulative ex's. I don't know the name but it can be used in court cases as the only contact allowed. Good thing is it can be all documented. Dr. Ramani Durvasila has a video on litigating with a narcissist like a bomb with a knowledgable lawyer who specializes in that area.
Hun, the app I recommend is called Our Family Wizard: l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ourfamilywizard.com%2F%3FDshareasale.com%26Daffiliate%26Dlink%26Dhome%26Dtools%26sscid%3D81k3_mr5xu%26fbclid%3DIwAR0dbyURdAmn7Scl-O0ZOivT3EHqtFUtJkMlLJHwqsHBPG-2H_5o9MNPLwo&h=AT1rFJEYGdgbherk1t28dwVoeMR5U8pEUhLKCwLI1jtGT6ezurNdHAaRPFhyByEcFvQZkNBbgqbDwjSA06G5nF-NyJfYCPZi7dvw1yfzb-aBx2rZ1oDKtDHdzxIW1CX79QsOY6LmjdcbQolm4E9lL2RPQbI
Love and blessings xoxox
These narc counselors are always Australian or British . Does suicide come under self help books ?
What can I do since I live with 2 narcissist parents? I always say "I don't feel now is the right time to have this conversation" or "We've had this conversation several times and it never goes well so I'd like to end this now." Or some variation of that the moment I'm ensnared. It blows up and my dad goes from 0-60 because he's like "You can't just walk away. You always try to walk away and never want to listen. You never want to sit down and have a conversation." He gets louder and more aggressive. I say "you're starting to get aggressive. This is why I'd prefer to not have this conversation." He screams "I AM NOT" and then he criticizes me about not "listening" which means agreeing emphatically that his way is the only way and he diminishes my worth and my value for an hour alongside my mother. Walking away dramatically escalates the volume and aggression. Saying "No, I appreciate your input but that doesn't work for me" only escalates the devaluation about how I've never done anything right and everyone else is better than me.
I do have high self-esteem because I've done a lot of work around that. I love myself so freaking much! I know I am awesome so their inability to get it doesn't bother me. But I do get triggered around the fear of his aggression and having to respond/my inability to stop this trainwreck. My mother is also a narc and she jumps in usually matching the energy and then upping it a notch by accusing me of something I've never done that she has probably done several times. Then she reminds me they are the only people who could possibly love me. No one else ever really has or will.
Again, so thankful I don't believe that and I see evidence every single day that I am loved and valued. However I do have an abandonment wound/ isolation issue I can't seem to heal.
I do use the quanta healing from the webinar and I'd like to get to those core issues so I am no longer triggered or volunteering my energy.
My questions to you Nabtono are...Can you leave your environment, so that you can have stronger boundaries? And also have you thought about working with NARP Gold www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp more deeply so that you can be connected to the incredible NARP Forum www.melanietoniaevans.com/member where we can help guide and support you more closely? Sending you love and strength xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans no, I can't physically leave yet. Trust me, I want to but its not feasible yet. I have been working on strengthening my psychic boundaries and the narp program.
7:17 could this be the topic finally peeping out?
I never see the link in the top of the video for the ten day course.
Michelle here it is - www.melanietoniaevans.com/narcquiz xoxo
the thing i can't get my head around as a novice to all this stuff, but nonetheless a victim, is why a covert narcissist female would focus her grandiose side on being a sexual predator, conquering males. And it does seem to be all about that, because with me she actually yawns. What a terribly rude thing to do.
There is no narcissist that you can't go no contact with. If you have children with them use a third party for communication. If your boss is a narcissist get a new job.
Can you do a video on family members/relationships with Aspergers versus covert narcissists. The two people I have "close" relationships with are asperger but also have qualities of being covert narcissists-- chronic complainers, victims, and gas lighters, etc., and yet, they also do some wonderful things in society. No they are not empathetic, but both are active members of church and help with service and needs being met. On fact, both are in service professions. The male with Aspergers is invalidating. The female does some validating, but is more overly narcissistic in liking the attention and praise of doing good. When they are easy to be around, I feel badly for thinking they are narcissists and I doubt myself, but they are both so challenging at other times. The man being the most difficult one of the two... Though the other isn't too far behind! ⁹The problem I'm trying to articulate is that I don't think they are evil, devious people... Only two people with low self-esteem, who I don't believe realize what they are doing. I haven't heard people address autism/Aspergers in relation to narcissism and yet many of the traits, even the poor eye contact relate. Your insights would be most appreciated.
I know of a few with both traits.
Do narcissists grey rock back?
Yup way to triggered 😤 Ithis person is so evil!! I can’t even! N I have no body where he has brought me!!
How do you gray rock the name calling? I can't stand the name calling, I become overwhelmed.
Brownmahfun, its the inner work that can help you heal beyond that trigger and take back your soul. I highly recommend coming into my free Masterclass in a few days times www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass I will explain to you how to do so, and it will help you so much xoxox
You want to probe the narcissist's only weak spot? Pity. Feel sorry for them, look at them as a broken, irreparable person that deserves pity. Treat them like that. They will go ballistic.
There was no link? Can I have a link please
Hi Rachel, is it the link for my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar and NARP is this one
www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
If you need to reach out again please know that you can email my team support@melanietoniaevans.com and they will gladly meet you. Love and Blessings xoxox