3 Ways To Deal With Rude People
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- Опубликовано: 11 дек 2014
- Communication Tips: 3 Ways To Deal With Rude People
The person who just cut you off in line, the driver with road rage, the guy with the snarky tone - you’re ready to put them in their place. I know, people can be such jerks! But when triggered by rudeness, that’s your moment to put in place the 3 Ps that will give you power. What do I mean?
Pause: It takes tremendous skill to stop, breathe, and NOTICE all the reactions that are coming up for you - but every time you do it, you’ll get better at it. A bit of pause is magic, especially when you feel like you’re about to explode. Take 3 to 5 seconds - breathe and make a choice - don’t give in and be rude back.
Pretend: Be like an actor - you’re the person in the scene who manages to be above it all. Your lines don’t include snapping back at them, raising your voice, or correcting them with all the sarcasm you can muster. It may sound silly, but pretend you’re not in the presence of their drama - and “pretend” that you’re not triggered and annoyed, at least for a moment.
Perceive: Remember that your perception isn’t always aligned with reality. I was once seated near a “rude” man on a 5-hour flight, with his constantly beeping device going off every time he pressed a button. I had to say something, so I walked over and asked him to turn the volume down. He fixed it, but the whole interaction felt so awkward, and I wondered if I had offended him. But then in baggage claim, he made a beeline over to me, and said: “Thank you for letting me know my device was making noise, I’m a little hard of hearing, I had no idea.” I had been sitting there perceiving him as “rude” - but he was just unaware! You have the power to alter your perception - and leave room for the possibility that they might not be directing their “rudeness” at you at all.
It’s time to play around and adjust how you respond to “rude” people. You’ll find yourself calmer, happier, and more in control of your experience. You’ll be an example for others, and you’ll get to keep your good mood. Simply Pause, pretend, and reset how you perceive - and life will be 10x easier.
Tips for talking to someone you don't like: www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17839/...
Want to get through tough, awkward interactions like this with your sanity intact? You might like my free ebook How To Navigate Tough, Negative, Or Toxic Conversations.
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In the comments below, tell me about a time you dealt with an exceptionally rude person. What did you say? Are you happy with how you dealt with it?
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Wishbeads founder Alexa Fischer is an actress, coach, author, and motivational speaker whose work helps people go after their dreams, build their confidence, and break free from fear. Using online courses, private coaching, and her goal-setting jewelry line, Alexa’s work has reached tens of thousands of people. She has shared her techniques with future leaders at the Girls Athletic Leadership School and current leaders at companies like Trader Joe’s, SONY, Google, PepsiCo, and IBM. Her Wishbeads jewelry is carried in boutiques around the country and has been worn by celebrities, friends, and folks young and old.
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It works but I'm really getting tired of being pushed around. If it's not the unhappy receptionist, it's the physician with poor bedside manner; if it's not her, it's the 250lbs aggressive idiot sitting beside you in a waiting room and if it's not him, it's a street thug looking for a fight. I know your technique works but I'm getting tired of always being the one with the cool head. THIS is why people lose it!
I always walk away - literally and figuratively because I don't like prison. I used to work in one and met several lifers who were there for losing their cool in a petty argument and taking another's life. While that thought keeps me cool, I'll work on finding the positive. Thanks.
@@ZteveW You got the right and smart idea.
It doesn’t always work, some rude people persist to be rude even if you don’t react to their rudeness, thanks its encouraging.
You made me feel better. Thank you, Alex. You wonderful person.
Thanks Alexa for the wonderful tips. I learnt this the hard way some years back in London. A woman dropped some litter on the floor at a bus stop and I alerted her nicely to it thinking that she hadn’t noticed. But she had noticed and she was doing it on purpose.
I was with my 4 year-old son whose mon is White British. The woman was black and I am black. I am mentioning our race now because it becomes very important later on in the story.
When I alerted her to the litter which she had dropped she told me that it was none of my business because the government employs people to clean the streets in England. To say my blood boiled is an understatement. I just hate it when people litter and I was more mad at her for feeling that she was entitled to litter.
Now, I should have stopped to think before replying to her or just walked away but I was so consumed with anger so much so that my answer to her was “Do you know that it’s pigs that live like this? I had disturbed a hornets’ nest. She immediately went into a rage and the first thing she said to me was “You black people, when you mix with these white people you think you are better than us! Her racism came out pretty fast! She was right in my face all this time and she said I was bullying her because she is a woman. It was a horrible situation.
Eventually the bus came and she left. From that day on I learnt never to confront rude people because they do it to get a reaction from you most of the time. I failed to handle that situation properly.
...By the way I learnt a new English word from your video “Beeline”. Thank you, now I know what it means.
Pause is the best of the 3 pieces of advice. Sometimes two and three is not what a person wants to do. The fourth piece of advice I would recommend if you don't want to execute two and three, then just would be walk away.
I’m an empath surrounded by narcissists 🌊🐊
by not retaliating, but by taking care of yourself & not interacting with them...let them hear their own words-let them make a show of themselves...but the winner always wins when they keep silent but confident...**
I used these tactics you talked about here, at work, I found it makes my day less stressful. Thank you, thank you!
stay positive , keep smiling . i believe in karma. not nice to me - something bad will happen. i was fired by a verbal/physical bully then my boss had a car accident.i should have been mature but i wasn't , i sent the paraplegic a video of me doing this he can't do. skateboarding, surfing, walking, etc.
never apologised,he hurt me , i hurt him. i sent himpictures of me playing tennis and footy and cricket.he's not happy.
I love your videos, they're so simple & easy to understand. I'm glad I found your channel.
As an older adult, so much of my dignity is slipping away....stolen day by day.. It seems like some people feel they can easily be rude and unkind to an older person...because...."they are old."
I came here because my cousins are rude to me and make fun of me for no reason whenever they go anywhere in the house I stay away from them and stay in my room it's not funny people tell me it's a joke but it happens every time they think I don't understand because they speak another language they're all 15 17 and 19
I stay in my room because I'm afraid of them😭😭
It sounds like you have a very deep well of patience. Wish I did! But it's worth at least taking a deep breath before reacting. Thanks!
Thanks for this video, I am dealing with 2 very rude people, but your video helped me, thanks.
Hello. I'm a student and I happened to end up sharing my flat with this girl who's being very very rude. I really don't know why, but she decided I'm responsible for everithing wrong in our flat. We are in five, none of us is the "perfect mate" but we all try to keep common rooms clean. I am actually untidy, but I like to be clean and I'm really getting tired of all of her scenes when she swears and screams to me directly or talking to the other flat mates. I really don't know how to handle her any longer, since I tried to be polite, to admit my fault and even to clean HER mess, without complaining. She's passing the sign and I don't want to be as rude with her. What could I do?
I love the way you express yourself, keep it up! you're doing great!
I will try to adaptive this method, because honestly I am at a loss. But what your are saying is true because different environment will call for different tones and if the person you are communicating with is unfamiliar with your given tone it might be considered as rude. With that being said I honestly just did something to someone I regret and with no way to reverse it even being that I was in the wrong. #whentechinterferes
Alhamdulillah I found this so valuable, God bless you!
If you give someone the benefit of the doubt and they are purposely trying to be rude towards you, you are then allowing them to take advantage of you.
that was a really great tutorial
Ms Fisher I agree with u that we ought to give people the benefit of the doubt as that is posetive mentality
I'm in year 8 and this girl used to be really mean to me in year 7 but now I hardly ever talk to her and whenever I do she's really nice to me but now her other friend has started annoying and bullying me loke I sit next to her in science class and she looks at my work and says do that don't write that listen to the teacher and once I drew something in my book and she started laughing at my drawing.shes horrible and whay should I say to her next science lesson.
Love this
This is amazing!!! Big 5 stars ⭐️ lol wishing I can rate this video glad I liked it instead!!💙
We never know what is going on in another person's head or life. Our perception is rarely correct.
Alexa you always give great advice in your videos. And in such a convincing way ;-)
So what you're saying is I can't get my nails done in a long Cardi B stiletto style and then shove my middle finger up someone's nose????? That's unfortunate
Omg If you reply I'm gonna scream I love you!!!!! 😃😃😃😃
+Alexa Fischer I think I already did scream!! 😅
Your personal exemple doesn’t define most scenarios
No