Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma - The difference between Genuine Love and Attachment
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2016
- Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma interviewed about romanticism that makes us confuse genuine love with attachment - and how it causes suffering in relationships.
Post open about the video: http: //papodehomem.com.br/amor-romant ...
How to support the nuns monastery founded by Jetsunma: http: //tenzinpalmo.com/support/paymen ...
Book "In the heart of life": http: //www.lucidaletra.com.br/pd-db3c ...
THANKS
Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo: www.tenzinpalmo.com/
Drukpa Brazil and Lama Jigme Lhawang: www.drukpabrasil.org/
Ven. Aileen Barry
Jeanne Pilli: equilibrando.me/
Lucid lyrics and Vitor Barreto: www.lucidaletra.com.br/
CREDITS
Interview: Gustavo Gitti
Images: Ana Higa and Luiza Castro
Editing: Luiza de Castro
Color Correction: Luiza de Castro
Graphics: Fábio Rodrigues
Join in place of the channel for more videos about transformation → http: //ruclips.net/channel/UC7phBFFay ...
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Entrevistamos Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo sobre como o romantismo nos faz confundir amor genuíno com apego - e como isso causa sofrimento nas relações.
Post aberto sobre o vídeo: papodehomem.com.br/amor-romant...
Como apoiar o monastério de monjas fundado por Jetsunma: tenzinpalmo.com/support/paymen...
Livro "No coração da vida": www.lucidaletra.com.br/pd-db3c...
AGRADECIMENTOS
Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo: www.tenzinpalmo.com/
Drukpa Brasil e Lama Jigme Lhawang: www.drukpabrasil.org/
Ven. Aileen Barry
Jeanne Pilli: equilibrando.me/
Lúcida Letra e Vítor Barreto: www.lucidaletra.com.br/
CRÉDITOS
Entrevista: Gustavo Gitti
Imagens: Ana Higa e Luiza de Castro
Edição: Luiza de Castro
Correção de cor: Luiza de Castro
Grafismos: Fábio Rodrigues
Inscreva-se no canal do lugar para mais vídeos sobre transformação → ruclips.net/channel/UC7phBFFay...
Seguimos no lugar por meio de práticas, conversas diárias em nosso fórum, hangouts, artigos de aprofundamentos, encontros presenciais e cursos. PARA PARTICIPAR → olugar.org/participe
"I love you, that is why i want you to be happy, if that includes me, great. But if that doesnt includes me, then i just want you to be happy"
Now i understand...
Now I understand too
I understand I don’t love, I have attachment. I’m suffering.
I do not understand. If attachment means to be free from desires, why is "I want you to be happy" an exception? Should we be free from all desires? Desiring another to be happy is indeed love, but isn't this just another desire-attachment?
I commented here because it is relevant to my question and it has high visibility. Not to irritate anyone. Peace.
Having a want to make others happy isn't a hindrance to the practice of Buddhism. You're basically developing your good qualities like compassion and loving kindness to such an extent that they eventually become boundless when you realize your true nature.
This is coming from a Mahayana perspective btw. Which is focused on becoming a buddha.
She just simplified all the confusion that I’ve had . This video gave me the peace of mind understanding of my feelings that I needed. God bless you.
Try researching attachment styles
Same here! 😁😁😁
sorry i am an indian from delhi and a male (factual) and caring mom (fictional)
not a buddhist
Salute to all people who are here because they are lost, hurt and confused at the same time, all will be alright in time...
This video reminds me a statement "You should love in such a way that the one you love feels free"..
When someone claims that he/she loves someone, or being loved by someone, in a genuine love way, neither party should ever feel hurt, restricted, unhappy or obligated.
In the world of genuine love without attachment, in my humble opinion from this video, things would flow freely and smoothly when there's no expectations over another. We love for their happiness, therefore we accept wholly who they are, and love unconditionally.
Loving with any kind of expectations, good or bad, +ve or -ve, are conditional love, which is bound to be pain and disappointments.
I came to this understanding late. I am still trying to pick up the lesson. Thanks for the inspiration, that finally explained to me why was I in pain, and how did I hurt another by imposing expectations & wrongfully claimed I 'loved'.
Repentantly, I am humbled.
What if the other person is avoidantly attached?
@@samuelasanderinos1521 I do not have the answer to this. I choose to believe the repetitive pain and suffering that the person is likely to go through due to attachment he/she persists on, may eventually wake/her up .
This was one of the most important lessons I've learned in my life.
The last video on "love" that you will ever need.
People are losing their minds with this video cause they are struggling with the thought that they actually don't know how to truly love.
true
Yea I know
Succinctly said!
its true we don't
i tried to save you all but helpless due to overpacked knowledge human being has . why an individual not a robot listening to your nonsense abuses nudity rigid thoughts against unconditional sharing .he didnot charged anything .what abnormal symptoms i have as a human being. i am well versed within myself what kind of knowledge you all can giveme. i have a son also to take care . I donot have any desire i want to sacrifice for mankind only.who will be giving a peaceful world to my son already you had my younger brother kush
my dad shri narayan swaroop . comment i speak truth and facts only.he has vedic maths and apps knowledge and is 9yrs.only .should i live one more najayaj aulad to be killed by yourself . i am doing what you all are doing .Iam a man in gender(factual) and a woman with responsibilities fictional. All above names are factual facts and figures nothing imaginary tampered or mutilated.
why should i refer you all casual human beings. mint money at the cost of your son.
Authentic love also says, “I’m already happy, and want to see you happy too”. Wonderful video 🙏
Exactly what I have been thinking after going through multiple harsh attachment. I think you can't really love someone to the fullest when you feel attached. Attachment is a selfish form of energy, which indicate that you lack of self love. When you are lacking in self love, how can you love the other to the fullest? Still I think, much more easier said than done.
Being together all day everyday is what causes attachment. When that happens youll become dependant on that person and when you're not with them you wont know how to function without them. Thats why you have to set up a BOUNDARY of giving each other space and independence.
sorry i am an indian from delhi and a male (factual) and caring mom (fictional)
not a buddhist
Thats like saying don't hold that burger cause you gonna miss it when it's gone.
No. It is SATISFYING to hold it. It is SATISFYING to love fully , be with fully & accept tragedy & rebirth fully!
Not necessarily. You can become attached as a result of the intermittent reinforcement, where you are more often separate than not.
You seem to be describing companionship. What’s wrong with companionship? Especially for older people
She saved my life, I was going through lot of pain. Will try to follow that, very hard it is but I guess that's the only way out i have. 👏
This is the realest thing I have ever heard. It makes me want to cry .
2014 I watched this video because I was badly heart broken.
now December 22 2023 I watch this again, I searched for it to remind myself 😢😢😢❤❤❤
So I've read all the comments. People are misinterpreting what she is saying. When someone is attached it is far worse. Doesn't mean if we love and things go south in a relationship that we won't feel pain. But it is far less pain than if we are wrapped up with infatuation. But the real message isn't the difference between the two. It is that loving someone in a way that says what can i do to make you happy and disregard my own desires. And if your spouse loves you the same way then it's even more fulfilling. The attachment part does come naturally but when love is the primary action or feeling it is more perfect. Not perfect but more perfect. Attachment in her meaning is like an alcoholic. They cling to it. And when they don't have it can't function like normal. They fall apart. So when you can't have that person you were so attached to, now it's far worse than if love was the primary action. But even still the significant other or spouse should be on the same page. But you also can't control what the other thinks feels or does.
Yes, exactly. But it's youtube and everyone is a 9 year old who has no concept of thought.
Beautiful, wonderfully said
If every person on the planet got to a place where they were not attached and felt happiness as you say, why love anyone and have relationships at all?
sorry i am an indian from delhi and a male (factual) and caring mom (fictional)
not a buddhist
@@richp3526 to share that happiness with people
Me and my ex just broke up after a 3 years relationship. We were always together and we pretty much did everything together, especially with the covid situation. Now I understand that in the end of our relationship there was no more love but it was all attachment. It's really painful and I always have that feeling of emptyness.
@Felix Fortin : Yeah, I shared your feeling of emptiness. Of course, just like if u own a pet, whom u feed them daily, walk them in the garden, play together. However one day, your pet is lost or past away, your sense of lost & emptiness sets in because of YOUR ATTACHMENT to the daily routine/habitual things you shared with your pet. However Buddhism mentioned that we don't own things or people by nature.
Try filling your "empty time" listening to Buddha's Sutra, it does help!! You may also care to watch you tube "Who am I by venerable Guan Cheng" to discover yourself better. There is also "Dharma Q&A with venerable Guan Cheng "
Hope you recover soonest from emptiness and find happiness instead.
🤗May I wish you good health, stay safe during this pandemic, peace @ heart and many blessings to come.
🙏🙏
I have a similar experience though was only together with my ex for 11 months. I've been thinking of her a lot though now I understand it's all attachment because it seems I want her to fill the emptiness inside.
did it get better?
:( sorry to hear this hope you have healed and learned more about your self overtime! ❤
i watch this whenever i lose my myself in the relationship. lest i forget the difference i ensure that i am reminded.
This is deep. Even in our loneliness it is only our attachment that makes us feel this way. Letting go of attachment of craving and clinging is the way
I don't know why but I feel like I was born a Buddhist. Most of its teachings are already known to me. It's like if you are born a very empathetic and caring these teachings come naturally.
Because its a law of nature ...
This woman's wise words here changed my life after my second divorce. I've understood and embraced her words and her perspective, and am now living my best life, in love...
Beautiful. If I have to, I will watch this video every day - to remind me of her wisdom, which sounds so true to me.
I think I've watched this video at least 100 times, and E V E R Y T I M E , it brings me back to myself. It brings me back to what love is and should always be. I wish there were more short films like this.. The message is golden.
I have watched this for 2 years. It’s crazy to just learn the meaning of love. I appreciate you to watch many times. You are also a true seeker. God blesses
ive been dealing with attachment all of my life. i am learning how to get rid of this.
This should be seen by millions
Wowwwwww🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿I needed this!! I'm 40 years old and just now learning this! Wowwwwww...Thank God for allowing me to learn this💯
i have found out in the past few days that my wife has been cheating on me. divorce, suggested by her, is on the cards. i needed this video like i need air to breath.
Don’t worry things happen for a reason..
I wish for ur happiness
Jimbo!! Shoke your wife by forgiving her and love her like nothing has ever happen ; she will love you forever!! Is hard but it is possible!! The love of God will heal your heart and bring you peace!! Please don’t divorce her because you will likely remarry and statistics those not favors you ; divorce is almost inevitable in remarriage!! God will not be happy with you because any lady you sleep with will be adultery even in remarriage and soo with your wife!! That will be automatic tickets to hell fire!!
@@zachianggandu774 no thanks. I am under no obligation to love someone who abused me with infidelity. "Loving" is not always the loving thing to do ;) forgiving, maybe. but the sooner i fall out of love with my ex wife, the better for everyone.
WILL AND JADA WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS. They were saying love is not romantic. It’s a partnership where both individuals who are already fulfilled with happiness coming together ❤️🙏🏽
Who’s gon tell him
@@timmjones5298 LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
Well damn how did that work out 😂
Jada.....if she was loving Will she won't leave him no matter what,but she cheat of him .You know why? Because the desire for acomplishing her needs was higher than the desire to keep her family united.In short words she loved herself more than her family.In my opinion...She belongs to the streets!
I pray people stop putting these celebrities on a pedestal. Mercy.
We shouldn't be dependent on relationships. I learned this the hard away. I was not invited by a colleague whom I thought was a friend, did not invite me on his birthday, but invited the newest colleague in the office. It hurts so much being left out, feeling unwanted, unliked.
Unconditional love ..... I feel it thru my animals. They drive me crazy sometimes but I still love them.
“Grief is the price we pay for love, and it’s worth it a million times over.”
You didn't learn anything
@@ME-ot2ce You don't know what love is!
@@CENTRUMUMAI you obviously didn't listen to her message, having grief is a attachment not Love.....
@@ME-ot2ce Please go away.
@@CENTRUMUMAI I can say the same thing to you please go away thank you
Thank you Jetsunma Tenzin. Eyes and hands talked to me, once. Voice and lips, twice. Heart and soul, forever. 🙏
This video helped me transition into polyamory and still brings me joyful tears watching it again years later. Thank you for this ❤️🙏
Same for me. Coming back to this video after years and realizing that theres words were the beginning of that deep understanding.
After listening you message. I am v gald to know that the person whom I love is a . (True love not an attachment to him.
I am v proud of myself.
Once again thank you 👍👍
Love overflows within each and every one of us. It is in abundance, ready to be shared. It is an endless source.
Well I genuinely love you and wish for your joy. Thank you so much for this beautiful video that I have watched multiple times throughout my life. You not only bring me mindful joy, but a great deal of peace. Which is what we are here on this Earth to contribute to. Much love,
-Brady
This needs a billion views. Very important piece of information!
If i lost him, i would lose a part of me too. I want the best for him, i want his hapiness more than anything and if hes not happy with me, than so be it. I want his happiness.
This brought me to tears. Thank you for your wise words
Thank you so much for sharing Buddha's lessons 🥰🥰🥰
And this teach me how to love truly love 😊😊😊
These days I really afarid of losing someone who I love the most but this show me the truth Thank you thank you and thank you for this 😍😍😍
Thank you so much. I m in a relationship and I have found out I m little attached. I accept that. And my ego is resisting me to detach. This helps a lot in healing process. Thank you. Namaste
this is perfect
Saw this a while back and it remains the best insight Iand advice 've ever heard about loing another.
Thank for sharing your wisdom. 🙏
This is beautifully expressed, thank you
I love you therefore I want you to make me happy attachment. Better I love you I want you to be happy if that includes me great if not I am only want your happiness.
Thats the best speech ....,ive listen in my life..
When i listen to this everytime i become very energetic....
Thanks alots grand ma...
Love it's different from attachment. I just want you to be happy and if it with me too if not I just want your happiness. this is real love to me
This is the wisest advice I heard in a long time. I can totaly relate. Thank you!
Thank you for this powerful message about love and attachment. Now, my heart feels like it was set free from heartaches..☺ I now understand what trully LOVE is..😉
Love you love you love you love you lot. V happy to understand the meaning of love in simplest & deeply understand.
Once again thank you v much😘😘😘😘😘
Everything is love when we make the value of zero nirvana is love. Love is a heart expression not brain selfish narsisest ego brain feelings. Love taies 2 way streets. It a force that dont force it catalyzes. Let go, be, flow. Peace in stillness zin nirvana merkaba shaktipat. Peace
Crystal clear ! I needed this .
Thank you for this Masterpiece!❤
We still have so much to learn. Yes, genuine love is not selfish. It is selfless. We need to learn how to love others more than ourselves. It's still conditional love though if we only do this to the person we love romantically. This just doesn't apply to love romantically. Our feelings for someone though can overwhelm us in so many ways. But ultimately, loving someone genuinely is the only way.
Lexa's Subject “we need to learn how to love other more than ourselves” is the opposite of what she said. to love is to love yourself and after you love yourself you provide love without attachment
If you want someone you love happy, you must have joy first in you heart. God bless you
Love you Jetsunma
I was thinking this. I finally understand what love is.
So grateful for these words. So grateful that the tears flow down my face.
There was a time not to long ago when I was going through a lot of hurt from a heart break, I stumbled upon this video,and it helped me a lot,thank you for your true and wise words.
Me too.
I really needed this 🙏 thank you.
I find Tenzin Palmo fascinating. How did just an ordinary person, from a modest background come to have done and achieved so much? I have read the mechanics of the process of course, the early lack of satisfaction (like lots of other people - but had she suppressed that which was in her and settled for less, nothing would have happened), the studying, the rejection, the retreats and time in the cave, and the establishment of her nunnery - from nothing. If ever there is an example of the stars aligning it is Tenzin Palmo, a person who has worked unselfishly to benefit others whilst asking for seemingly nothing at all. Content within herself whilst doing good and achieving much. I quietly watch in awe and with respect at the unfolding story - long may it unfold. It makes me fell better about myself that such a person exists.
Lol. You're mind will be blown when you read about her teacher, Siddhartha Gutama Buddha.
I enjoyed your comment and it seems to me you are also an exceptional person. Some people make leaps and bounds along the path but perhaps she does not go unrewarded for her work in detached kindness for the rewards are inherent in the process though there is always struggle until one is Bodhisattva.
Thanks a lot for this, am feeling so relief
Thank you, this talk helped me a lot
Very beautifully put, thank you
I read many, I saw many saying and explaining true; genuine; unconditional love but this is far is the best could make me clear in the best way as Yes! This Is What Love Really Is! I'm Blessed! Thank You!❤️😊🙏
Wisdom, truly appreciated. 🙏🏼
I never really loved. It was always attachment that I mistaken for love. That's so sad :(
Protection that comes with romance we think the other would fulfill that necesity we have. But the true its there is two persons struggling
Very well articulated. 🙏🌻
This is amazing. I mean if you can't even deal with your own self than you have no reason to be expecting someone else to make shit perfect for you. Mostly people are overfed with the generic craptacular idea of romance in media... Which is essentially toxic for a healthy mental development /approach to love. You are best suited to be in a relationship when you love yourself, are realistic about expectations and end up genuinely liking someone for themselves - for being themselves.
Instead of reading little girls Disney when they are young, or brainwashing boys to think girls are the weaker sex, and the other generic ladila, educate them with lao tsu, logic (pramanavartika) and Buddhist ethics etc. Your child will grow up mentally sound not to mention far wiser than their peers.
Now I truly understand the idea of love
Another Great Discourse !
THIS IS GOLD
I never understood this until now. Fear is relationship is destructing. Love without attachment. I now understand.
Love never hurts, as Nazareth once sung...
Love is the only force healing in this twisted world...
Love never hurts, it only heals...
It was a long way to finally see glimpses of this truth...
And the truth is Nazareth was lying, because they didn´t see otherwise...
Best regards from Germany...
Beautifully explained
I love you, thank you ❤
NAILED IT!
One of my fav videos
God bless you....🙏
I just want to go give her a big hug and thank her for this much wisdom.
Looks like love is something that you want to have...but you can't own.. !!
I am learning from her suggestion
This is beautiful
Nothing hard to figure out. People overcomplicate This. If you are Willing to sacrifice your own Being/Happiness in order to Ensure your Partner’s Being/Happiness, that’s Love.
Love is giving truely 😭😭😭💓💕❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
Wow perfectly said❤
Excellent!
Spot on
This video is very on Point!!! So its teaching us to stop being a nice guys or gal. Being good person vs nice are totally different. Love are meant to work n grow together without attachment. So some alpha man or female videos are really describing about this. A monk aren't like most people think who are like most people describe what nice guys does. With the mindset that they have, monks are I think the most Alpha trained person, unattached, fulfilled person example on Earth. If they do dating they are one of the best dating pros out there. If we do dating like the old school ways of treat ur partner like princess n stuff, maybe u can have good results or got the person that u dream of but the problem is ure not fulfilled in other areas of ur life like ur happiness n well being. You'll have a very insecured relationships.
“If they do dating they are one of the pro out there” you are so funny dear. Yes, this video is the best to learn to love.
Om
Nice explanation
Bravo!!!
Love you more more more ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for helping us.
If we can could only hear this naturally? She answered a question that I wished I could have asked several years ago. It had been troubling me.
Thank you
Hi Gisèle, I find this interview very helpful and I hope I can share Jetsunma's insight with my family and friends who cannot speak English. If you allow I will make Vietnamese subtitles for this video. Thank you.
This helped a lot
I absolutely LOVE this message! (pun intended) ;)
Breathtaking and healing
Straight and to the point. Being clingy and overly attached is not true love.