This is so hard for me. I feel like people know I'm crazy 5 minutes after meeting me. I'm getting so agoraphobic and feel increasingly hopeless. I just want to feel like a normal human being
It’s our perception of ourselves that’s doing this. Not a single person out there is sane nor OK for real, if they say they are, they’re probably lying to themselves. At least that’s my take on it. We’re all imperfect. Everyone has something but it’s all on a sliding scale of “normal” whatever that may be. We’ve been taught to beat ourselves up emotionally because the people and circumstances that caused us to have C-PTSD didn’t believe they needed to be held accountable for anything in life. C-PTSD is a survival mechanism and it’s allowed me to endure a very difficult life, it’s a battle scar of perseverance and staying alive where I probably should have already been dead years ago. Consider yourself extremely strong and a survivor!
I feel the same way. Literally exactly. I feel like insane is written all over my face and it’s obvious. This video wasn’t really as helpful as I thought it would be. I wish I could just at least mask my craziness.
@Isabelly_Shelly I'm sorry and I know just how you feel...like our body parts are screwed on wrong and everyone is looking Thanks for being here, I can't recommend this practice enough, I've been at it for 12 years. courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice -Cara@TeamFairy
It's hard. I 've lost so many jobs. I've been late, full on cried at my desk , not been able to face going in , taking to long doing my work because I can't focus and I'm so anxious, traumatic stuff still happening whilst trying to work...... Unfortunately society defines you with work. Well , what do you do? It can make you feel worthless. I had someone ask , don't you actually want a job?
I dont want to minimize anything here as I have felt the same way. The untreated CPTSD did effect my ability to work and now ive been in therapy and working on healing. But have you ever took a step back and noticed and observed other people at work or unintentionally heard their conversations about their personal lives or beliefs and thought woah Im not as bad as I thought! There are some really mixed up people out there! In other words, give yourself some slack ❤
That is a wonderful point. You may be even harder on yourself because you think everyone else is fine. I think that all the time, how are they not complaining or Struggling. They are - just in different ways, or don’t talk about it with you. 🙏
That happens to me a lot when I hear people telling stories about their families, and they’re laughing and telling a “cute” story about something that I would consider to be quite abusive and almost shocking. But also, and maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t it seem like the workplace in itself is trauma inducing and often quite abusive?
I am literally sitting here not sure if I have PTSD or ADHD and had to let go of a job and tell the recruiting company why, crying and upset. Luckily the company recruiter is so understanding and working with me. My memory, my ability to train is so debilitating. I get so overwhelmed and don't focus.
I don't want to pretend I understand, though unfortunately I might. What works for me is I take a step back and some deep breaths, walk around the building (in non-Covid times I'll grab a tea/coffee as pretext, use the bathroom, grab water, pretend to go look for something, or in big enough buildings just go for a walk to clear the head and ground), actually get some water because I find I'm usually in need, and then come back refreshed. Then, I do the trainings twice. I even watch these yt videos twice. The first time I really try, and I find the second time I actually learn it. It's like a life pro tip magic trick. It might not work for you because we're all different but if you haven't tried it yet, it might be worth a try. I find we tend to just be so hard on ourselves because we're used to failing and life being almost impossible feeling all the time. You know yourself and trust you made the right choice. This is for when the right opportunity comes along. Best wishes to all of us struggling with this
Kristen it's my opinion that ADD and ADHD are sub categories that can be used to identify anxiety in children and moments for us. It's like distracted driving that happens when you get performance anxiety attempting to learn knew information you know you will be required to recall at a future date and there is a success/failure/consequence attached emotionally for you. I find textile learning to be best and when reading for recall I pretty much rewrite every word to stay focused. I can not think when learning and observed and need comfort space. You may need to figure out what learning methods make you most at easy and express this to the future employer as a special need due to ADHD or PTSD. Colleges offer assistance services for students with these problems usually at no cost. Self awareness and communication is key. Sometimes people do need to understand our needs...like a doctor or employer or spouse.
I think this would be a great series too. It would be nice to have an opportunity to learn about, discern, and discuss in the comments signs of whether we need to adjust our approach to work or whether we need to set boundaries / leave a job. Sometimes I have a hard time knowing whether I need to change or whether the system I am functioning within is broken. Thanks Anna.
It's a scary situation at work, I can think with no problem, and hold a highly responsible job. But it's social interactions that constantly puts me on edge/high alert.
Diagnosed with PTSD in 2019 and now at 35 yo, I feel like I'm finally starting my career. These struggles have plagued my early months at the new job. Thank you so much!
I'm an ICU RN and it kills me that my mind is always on flight mode. I'm always behind on my tasks and charting. Everyone is sitting down while I'm running around like a chicken without a head. I love what I do but I'm so embarrassed because some of my coworkers have pointed out that they know I have ADHD. I've had too previous managers point it out also, one said I wasn't cut out to be an ICU nurse. Almost 2 years after, I'm still pushing through. My daughter tells me that she's proud of me that I keep pushing through, and yes also a single mom. I leave work everyday feeling anxious and depressed wondering why I'm always he last one leaving. It kills me! I'm good with my patients, I'm knowledgeable of my job. I told one of my coworkers who pointed out my complex that I've been through a lot and that there's a lot in my brain. I feel this all stems from my childhood trauma 😢 and added trauma that I've been through in life.
Keisha hang in there! ICU is a very stressful environment and the fact that you’ve been at it for two years is a testament to your passion about what you do AND your perseverance. You are not alone. I also am a clinician, just a different discipline, and I too love what I do but struggle to keep up with the endless charting. I struggle with feelings of shame, particularly if I persist in comparing myself to my peers. Like Anna said, it takes all kinds of thinkers and personalities and styles to make a really successful team. I have a hunch that where you shine brightest, your efficient appearing co-workers may lack. And thank you for the care you provide to people who are going through frightening and painful situations. Nurses are Earth Angels. Shine on, sister!
You are cut out to be an ICU nurse - you’re qualified and you’re doing it! The operative word here is “previous” managers. They no longer have any say in your professional capacities. A good manager will play to your strengths to help build confidence and not to your weaknesses. Seek out the professionals who might be able to help you find ways to get on top of charting. My guess is the people sitting down are those who’ve been in the job for a while and with experience comes efficiency. When you leave work every day list 3 things that you have enjoyed or have made you feel valued /appreciated - no matter how small - to balance out the negative thoughts. Keep going 🙌
Dear Keisha, from what I read, I think you are a very good nurse bringing her best possible to work. Your colleagues may have some strengths, clearly compassion and acceptance may not be one of them. Your patients are human and many of them have their own traumas too... when you forge on and live your dream... you are a light of hope to them. I was in hospital and my favorite nurse was the one who was kind and human, not the most technically brilliant one. ❤️ If you were a manager, would you champion the nurse who may have had trauma or ADHD.. or discourage her? My guess is the former - do that for yourself.
@Keisha thanks so much for sharing with us, you have some really supportive comments here which makes me so happy! If you have ADHD and CPTSD, and taking a bit longer to finish charting is the biggest consequence, you are doing SO great! I encourage you to develop a self-care routine. This is the one I talk about on all my videos courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
Know that feeling all too well. This is link to Daily Practice to really help clear the head out of those unwanted thoughts courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
I was extremely bullied by my mother and sister as a child, and I am having a hard time with authority and working for a bully boss right now. I am struggling hard by keeping from lashing out at my boss and not losing my well-paid job. It's a real struggle.
She ALWAYS hits it on the nail for me. Now, whenever I rewatch her old videos, I realize how much I’ve improved and how some of her topics don’t relate to me anymore.
I always try to work harder than anyone else, go above and beyond, learn more, do more, and then that ends up with me being resentful and angry when I get passed over for promotions because I don’t have the right personality for management or because I got into a conflict with a coworker. This ends up with me lashing out, and this reinforces the idea that they were right in not promoting me. Then I try even harder, work harder, etc and the cycle continues
I never had or wanted a career. I never even wanted to "be" anything "when I grew up" as a kid. I had no ambitions. I just wanted to be happy. All my life, I avoided working, especially with people, and I had a fear of disapproval from and being a disappointment to superiors. I got a psychology degree because I didn't want to get a job. Then I got a diploma in business. Then I had to get a job, and got a legal secretary role in a nice law firm at age 22. I worked there for 3 years until I moved to a different state. I also never got any satisfaction from work or achieving work-related things. I was just always chronically bored, tense, uncomfortable, prone to dissociation and huge trouble focussing and retaining information, and very, very anxious. All of which I hid, and pretended to work. Luckily, I was efficient so was mostly able to get stuff done, but I spent about 70% of my time browsing the net or writing long emails to people (that were very detailed and well focussed!) After I moved at age 25, I never worked full time again. Financially, I couldn't really afford to only work 20 hours a week, but emotionally, I couldn't afford to work any MORE than that. Nowadays, after my previous company closed down, I work for myself. Various freelance things. I do well with this, but I know I'll never be able to have a proper job again (I basically "retired" at age 38). Now I'm 42 and it's 2.20am and I'm still up and will then sleep until 1pm yet again. Yep. I feel completely defective, but try to hide it and brush it off in a flippant, breezy way, as I'm embarrassed.
We're glad you're here, feeling defective is typical for us with CPTSD but it doesn't have to stay like that. This free course is an excellent starting point: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice -Cara@TeamFairy
Thanks for your comment/history. I feel I have a similar past, never really got true fulfillment out of work- thought I’d have a family to be with and support as purpose. But the ‘being embarrassed’ is 100% true
PTSD coming from nowhere you never prepared for this monster feeling. Can show anywhere. Dealing with symptoms straight way is not always easy. PTSD ruin my life. Any stressful situation can trigger PTSD. I feel for people who can not find solution.
I resigned from an amazing job last year after just one month despite great feedback, because I was recovering from a family bereavement that brought me back into frequent contact with family members who were extremely triggering for me. I was having almost daily panic attacks and feeling like I was unworthy of the position because of what a trainwreck of a family I come from, with those family members calling at least a few times a week while I was trying to focus on learning a very challenging new role. I really wish I'd had some kind of outlet at the time to allow me to process what I was going through and still keep my job. I'd be about $90k richer right now. Instead, I self-sabotaged.
I hope you are in a better place. My family of origin is nice but extremely triggering to me, and I also struggled with panic attacks during a period of illness in the family and the bereavement that followed. I think we have to remember how difficult grief is for everyone even without CPTSD. It is sort of inhumane that people are expected to just keep going at a time like that. If you were independently wealthy, you might have taken the year off completely. Wish you the best, hope you don't beat yourself up because we don't deserve it!!
This is so apt. I'm lying, awake, unable to sleep as I am beating myself up for being lousy at my job. It's actually my CPTSD that's lousy. Thank you for this video, it helped reframe my thoughts and reminded of some positive steps I can take. 🙏😊
I work with children with autism and it’s a very fast paced environment, no breaks, and tackling severe aggressions/emotions while having ptsd and it’s soo difficult. My brain literally turns to jello and it’s so hard to regulate. It’s comforting to see that I’m not alone !
I actually bought an old school hourglass ⌛️ to keep track of chucks of time because using my phone was just too much of a temptation (even WITH notifications off). It’s a cheap plastic one but I love it ❤️
Just the title on its own!!! Uhh had an interview today for a position in the company I’m in. Which is like, awesome!! Woman own. Flexible, from home working with youth. Literally what I’ve looked for. But I felt like an imposter like I wasn’t ready!! Even though they selected me. I felt so small.
@Nats_Pages Congratulations!!!! This just goes to show that getting what we want doesn't "fix" our CPTSD. We still have to put in the work toward healing. In the meantime- getting what we want is still pretty nice :) -Cara@TeamFairy
I am completely out of ideas on how to make money in a way that doesn’t destroy my mental health faster than I can try to rebuild it. I helps so much to read through here and not feel so alien, but I just don’t know what to do anymore
You could try being a security officer or substitute teacher... Both jobs have some what limited responsibility, so maybe that could give you time to heal...
Watching this in 2022...I'm 46 and a professional. I've suffered (yes, suffered) with symptoms since I was 13. Now, through educating myself about this and learning about dysregulation, I think I'm still grieving about how my life could've been different IF i wasn't so dysregulated, defended, and living with shame. I've been isolating since I was still in high school. I need help. 😩
I so relate to this. I've always been an ostensible overachiever but feel like a total fraud because I know I wasn't as disciplined as I could have been. Every achievement feels unearned. I spend so much of my work day fighting and succumbing to the urge to do a chore or pick my skin or Google that thing. I'm constantly revamping my routine to be more supportive to a point where I now don't even eat until after work. I have do many explanations that I refuse to see as excuses, but it's exhausting and defeating. Just started the daily practice and hope that will help.
This video is perfect timing! We had a "training day" at work to relearn some of our operations in anticipation of reopening next week (public library setting). I've been so stressed these past few weeks worrying about this. Dealing with my obnoxious, micromanaging coworkers is bad enough, but add in the general public and it's unbearable at times. I am so tense and hypervigilant and it's hard for me to be happy and calm at work, and not take everything personally. Your videos have been a source of comfort to me as I get ready for next week. Thank you!
Going to echo the kudos for anyone able to be a single parent while working. Seriously impressive. Also, excellent advice overall - I got used to relying on reactive shielding reflexes, and I needed healthier boundaries instead. It's not the whole story but it sure is crucial.
Something I have had to do at the law firm where I worked. Thankfully, when I disclosed my PTSD and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery to my supervisor and she was supportive.
I am listening to this on a bus to see a friend while contemplating sending him a message telling him I can’t come after all being stuck in an anxiety attack. Today I refused to go for a walk with my boyfriend being scared of getting a panic attack. I feel trapped and incapable of enjoying simple things. I am in therapy and I have started the daily practice 2 weeks ago, but I stil get overwhelmed outside my apartmant. I hope I’ll live normally one day again. These videos offer comfort and safety. Thank you.
and it never gets better. we live in a society that doesn't give a shit. I feel for you, and compltely empathize, but even this lady doesn't REALLY care.
@SRSO those are HUGE challenges and still you can get better and be more empowered to deal with difficulties that seem overwhelming. Try the Daily Practice method courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice Glad you're here! -Cara@TeamFairy
Hi Sue, you're so strong for raising kids on your own. You are stronger than you realize! I get what you're feeling, I have trouble staying organized and the smaller tasks are much more annoying/difficult. I write down a list every morning when I get to work and I write down how much time I'll spend on each task. It helps and I feel so satisfied when I scratch off tasks as the day goes by. I'm sending you love!
I feel so heard. I have been always made to feel by myself and other people that I'm weird. Because of the illnesses i have, I'm not able to focus that much on work. Recently i got told that my performance at work is bad and they have given me three months to improve. It's just not about my work, but I'm an easy target for people at work to paint me as if something is wrong with me. I cannot afford losing a job. I've been rejected in interviews because they see a desperation on my face and anxiety within me. It is sad that the world does not have a place at work for people struggling with mental illnesses
I'm so sorry that happened, lots can be repaired that we can't even imagine with healing. I suggest starting here courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice -Cara@TeamFairy
Omg! This video validated my experience when i was in the first year of college. I was always the person who involve herself on the students organization since high school. Then in college, i found out that i lost my ability to handle responsibility for almost all of my organizational project. Due to the chaos that happened in my dysfunctional family. (At that time, i was in my lowest point in life, damaged, really hard for me to understand what's really going on and what should i do with my life. So i just go autopilot). I got a bad rapor and lots of evaluation from others in the group. Then i feel bad about myself, really internalizing that. And i didn't continue any organizational activities for the rest of my college years. I really really sad about that because i love to meet new people, make new connection and experience new things. It also influence my esteem until now, relating to applying for the job and following through the process. Omg omg omg. The struggle is real! But i feel like it's getting better and better. I'm so grateful to know that it's possible for me to fix it then come back to focus on anything i do. I'm so grateful to know that im just dysregulated. Im not a failure and not a bad person. I can do better next time. Thank you, Dear Fairy, you help me so much in my healing journey, to be more practical and grounded in myself❤
Hi Anna - I don't have words to say how grateful I am to you. Thank you. Not only did I personally need this topic badly but in general watching your videos helps me because I feel validated and hopeful. There are literally no other places in my life where this happens. What you are doing is huge. It's helpful. It's calming. It helps me change and also love myself "as is" a little teeny tiny bit on both fronts each day. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Thanks for supporting the letter writer. Sometimes people here forget that real people shared their stories and read the comments. Everyone who writes is a dear soul!
Thank you so much I have the same issues than Sue and I got a new job now for 6 months and I don’t want to mess it up but I already feel overwhelmed. This will help me get organized.
I honestly think u r the most practical sensible knowledgeable human being on earth who can describe ME- my life - how do u know so much? I dont know if I will ever b able to function normally in this world - as I have been trying since I was young & only found u recently & I am 56. Your perspectives-are- spot on ! Your values - ur knowledge - u know way more then any “professional” right now on you tube! A formal education would ruin that!! I cant stop listening to these videos. Thx u for trying to help - I hope someday I can have a fraction of the sanity u have!
This is my first week back after 6 months in isolation and the symptoms are even worse now. I felt so crippled by dysregulation today that when my boss messaged me, I thought he was going to reprimand me for something. I can't believe it's this bad so soon. Struggling. Send help.
I struggle with this daily. My boss is a major micromanager and nit picks everything I do. Tells me stuff I’ve either done or plan to do. It causes me so much anxiety and stress. I dread when I see her phone call or email.
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I don't actually have a problem with clutter myself - I just can't stand it in my environment, like if I'm at someone else's house. It feels too chaotic.
I feel like I want to set time to listen to you. You have a good balance so during a bath would actually be relaxing but then I kinda want to listen to music. I feel a little conflicted but I need to set time to listen to you but even just a minute is loaded with good information.
Wow, thank you for that gift of the wind in the trees! A long time ago, I was in a relationship where we bouth struggled with old wounds and when we needed to talk, we just drove to the forest and took a long walk. I´m living near the ocean now in a place many people come to for their vacation, but I still prefer the sound of wind in the trees with birds humming. Thank you for the practical tipps which I used to adapt my routines. Last not least, I´m a meditator and totally second you! 20min twice a day. I don´t have time NOT to do this, it´s the foundation of functioning and has given me back 3 more productive hours every day.
I understand. A lot of times when people may suffer from functional depression it is hard to concentrate and some tasks seem tedious because it feels like these tasks lack a sense of accomplishment.
I have had CPTSD my entire life due to trauma however at age 22 i was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelites (fibromyalgia) i have been denied disability 7 times, i have been homeless most of my life and when i finally got a place my identity was stolen and i have been unable to pay bills for almost a year. I dont know where to begin to right this ship
@Laurel_Dell those are very trying circumstances. All we can offer is a way to clear your mind and hopefully be empowered to take the next necessary steps. This is a free course to help courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice -Cara@TeamFairy
I was struggling before covid-19 and, in a panic, quit my job when shut-downs began. I wish I had taken FMLA, but I wasn't able to think clearly. I know that most of my panic was due to unhealed c-ptsd. It is distressing and I feel like a failure. Logically, I know that's not true, but that inner critic is having a field day. Thank you for the thoughtful video. RIght now, I'm "meh," but I know I'll refer to your ideas as I am able. Warm regards. xoxo
I became a nurse. Talk about trigger! Patients, families, and managers hand out nothing but abuse on the daily. I was always good at my job but the depression and dissociation get harder and harder to manage, especially after I had cancer. I ended up quitting before finding a new job. Only night shift from now on because people are horrible towards nurses. I’m still fearful for the future with this job being so hard on my mental health.
I so needed this. We'll back to the states five months ago and i'm starting a new job I was living in Taiwan for 20 years. And now I have to figure out how to function here. When I applied for a job they asked me if I had it. I didn't have told him when I had cpt s d It's not something you want to reveal to in asia I'm american but I moved away when I was twenty three
I could not give Sue better advice but can add my support and prayers and understanding. I am a 'big picture' person and detail -well I gave myself a hard time for housework for decades. Big projects great, not bad on achievement scale, but the house is a mess. So, 1 minute of housework a day and it is a little better, but in fact there is method in my madness. My priority is to put myself at my typewriter after my morning meditations. If I start housework my limited energy is expended and my big projects would not get done. I have chronic short term memory problems and concentration zero, those are consistent symptoms. With my academic project I have learned to write down where I left off, otherwise the following day I cannot remember what I did the day before. I am learning to accept my imperfections. My need to confess my difficulties has always got me into difficulties unless to a professional, but my current therapist thinks I need more vitimens - but she is good in many ways but the lack of PTSD awareness is common. Good luck with your excellent work and keeping 4 children, that is an incredible achievement. I do think that my past shows on my face, like everyone else, it would be surprising if it did not, but I am becoming less self-conscious, more self accepting and thus people accept me more. Recent discovery is that my early bonding has left me with, I would judge, a permanently impaired system of bonding and relating to people - break ups, for example, I am over in 3 or 4 weeks and 30 years in therapy made my friend making abilities, well awkward NIL DESPERANDUM. I am an artist and someone said that this requires a 'slither of ice' in the heart - and I think this makes sense for me. I am friendly, but one great saint said she could never make close friends. I am peaceful today. Peaceful with myself, peaceful with my family from a distance, and have taking advice 'always be reading, writing or praying' or watching Utube when I am on overload with piety. Being in contact by prayer is a way of being in contact with people, my thoughts are not now entirely centred on myself, but on my work. The CCF is the icing on the cake, and I am wondering what I shall learn today in this extraordinary world.
To request a live response from Anna, please be as specific as possible and email your question to hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com. Type 'Ask the Fairy' in the subject line to indicate you are interested in the question being made into a video. -Cara@TeamFairy
Yes 100% I'm at a point of finding joy In my life an chasing my dreams 🙃😅. Thank you Anna ❤💖 your steeps an work made me feel stronger and willing to live with my flaws. I find the others responded with understandment. An the ones that didn't fate came in to protect me.
I found that loving my self helps with healing. Is making shore I take care of my needs. An understanding at the same time that. (The people that hurt you choose to not handle the problems that faced them. The only way to heal is to understand that they had choose. An we have choose. 11:33
Dear CCF Thank you for your heart message - this means a lot to me. I had better notify my lovely co CCF followers that I cannot reply to e mails - this is because I am not really a computer person, so please do not take it personally. xx
This is familiar. A lot of self doubt for me in a work situation. I had to try twice as hard as "normal" people just to do mediocre work. I'd miss details and forget bits and pieces. But I just kept plugging along and was able to retire from the military at 50. I would've loved to have had a great career, but it was not in the cards. I was a single parent of three, plus parented so many of my kids' friends because they came from less than stellar families. And all my trauma was bubbling up the entire time, but I had no idea what was going on.
I was let go from my job today. They said it was due to budget cuts. I can’t help but believe it was due to my CPTSD. I’m working on staying regulated but unfortunately didn’t find Anna’s channel soon enough. I know where I went wrong and it makes me so sad. Initially, they said they had long terms plans for me but then the crazy came out and they let me go. I feel completely lost. 😪
When things like this happen, I like to imagine it's because the universe has a different plan for me. One that will make me feel included and happy, not judged for having CPTSD. I hope you found that new path✨️
@@anotherhealingjourneybegins thank you for that kind and caring response. Here’s my update. I did find a new job. And in finding my new job, I also found that I was in a very toxic environment. So, it wasn’t just me. Because of my CPTSD I didn’t see it. I could not have won where I was at. The universe did have a different plan for me and that was to bring me to some place that was better for me. I still miss the job itself but I’m working around people who are much healthier and in turn, this is helping me to heal. ❤️
@melissalopez9607 this is beautiful news, Melissa, I'm so happy for you! Being around people who can respect and appreciate you definitely helps. Keep pushing forward🙌✨️
I drive for a school transportation company and we have to be on camera during each trip. Well, verbal road rage is a problem for me and I'm scared someone will see the footage. I never do it when I have passengers but I get irrationally angry at other drivers, especially bc so many of them treat me worse in the work car than in my personal car. I use foul language and I feel very ashamed. Typically they only ever see the footage if there's a specific incident like a car accident etc but I'm still fearful of them seeing it.
I struggle with work and life. I've gotten to the point that I don't want a job and currently can do only 4hrs at a time. I'm afraid that I will be fired because I feel like I'm crumbling. I truly feel like I need to move out of the type of job work elsewhere. But i can't bring myself to believe someone would hire me for the job i want to do
Wow, did I write this? I totally feel you. I literally have to take it hour by hour. Prep myself with coffee, dig in to what I need to do and that helps. One thing at a time..
I'm so afraid to even try to get a real job (more than 2 days a week). The thought of having to go somewhere everyday makes me so anxious and incredibly sad 😢 Deep inside I absolutely don't want to be an adult. I'm desperate
🫂 I'm so sorry you're in this much pain. It's totally understandable. We are all in different levels of healing. I hope things lighten up for you soon. Believe you will make it through the dark. You deserve to be here in this world as much as the rest of us✨️
Anna is there a list of jobs best suited for cptsd people or is that based on what each person can manage ? Recently I’ve been considering if remote work would be best for me - that also may be a trauma decision as I am and have always been a blue collar guy - I’ve always chased the idea that I just haven’t found my mission or if I could only run my own gig - I’m thinking that’s not the issue - it’s me and the usual cptsd suspects. Thanks Anna for another enlightening video !
I would really appreciate any insights on my question: How can I best choose a career that allows me to fulfill my passion for helping people while also managing my cptsd? I tend to do great with tasks that are complicated and require a high level of research and strategy but I fail at managing my stress and doing small tasks without clear instructions. I also mask a lot during team projects even tho people can’t tell, it drains me and makes me so prone to have massive emotional outbursts when I’m alone.
got 'found out' at my last job. talked with the head teacher and deputy principal to go and have 2 days off a week, which resulted in my contract not being renewed and replaced with my casual. not very fun, still feeling like a failure because of it.
So sorry that happened, it shouldn't be such a risk to disclose but unfortunately it is. Here is what you can do to start healing bit.ly/3608opl -Cara@TeamFairy
It was only up until recently I realised that I was suffering from cptsd, before this I just thought there was something wrong with me and also that I'm an ennegream type 9 and I was always afraid of being found out and its usually that judgemental disgusted look that I would get from someone and its horrible to go through
So.. I got a great job in accounting. However the people are extremely uppity and “stuffy”. Their treatment towards me has made me extremely nervous which has worsened the treatment I get from them, which then makes me MORE nervous. It’s a snowball getting bigger and bigger. They make me feel stupid and embarrassed a great deal of the time.. it’s very hard dealing with people like this while trying to heal your dysregulation.. I know I can’t be myself around these people at all. I don’t know what to do 😭
Damn, I could have written that letter (minus the single mother part). Went through all of this. The fairy is SO RIGHT, don't tell your employer more than they need to know, you don't owe them that. You are the kind of conscientious employee that WANTS to do well, that wants to get everything perfect, that's actually rare.People like us get exploited by employers, quite honestly, because it is easy to use a conscientious persons' guilty conscience against them to get more work out of them. If you get your work done, no matter how, that's all that counts, and you are not the only person who does it in fits and starts (I have 'sane' coworkers who work like that) or sometimes has an off day where nothing works. Take her advice, she is dead on
This is my #1 struggle with CPTSD. I am always so afraid of people finding out I have CPTSD and what they will think of me. Of course I try hiding it from everyone in my life. Probably not good to do but 😒
I have PTSD because i was abused as a child by a bipolar mother. Now i dont give a fk, i alternate work periods and unemployement periods. On my free time im working on a computer programming project that will make me some really good money in a couple of years. In the meantime, i don't struggle anymore to fit in the workplace. I'm just MYSELF, if coworkers dont like me, i dont care. I don't work to make new friends, i already have friends, and i work to make money. So to sum it up. Focus on side projects and personnal developpement (spirituality, therapy, and so forth). And BE YOURSELF at the workplace despite you are different. Reduce your expenses so you can afford to alternate unemployment and work with some savings.
But what if these are the realities and not just fears and you have been called crazy and fired by employers for having PTSD/ADHD in more than one job.
The thing I appreciate about this channel is that for so long I thought I was different.
Yes, what a relief isn't it?
Me too..this channel helped me in 1 month more than a lifetime of therapy..
Well I always see it as we r different, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Being different is a bad thing I have to accept
Same here 😭😍
This is so hard for me. I feel like people know I'm crazy 5 minutes after meeting me. I'm getting so agoraphobic and feel increasingly hopeless. I just want to feel like a normal human being
I empathize with you.
It’s our perception of ourselves that’s doing this. Not a single person out there is sane nor OK for real, if they say they are, they’re probably lying to themselves. At least that’s my take on it. We’re all imperfect. Everyone has something but it’s all on a sliding scale of “normal” whatever that may be. We’ve been taught to beat ourselves up emotionally because the people and circumstances that caused us to have C-PTSD didn’t believe they needed to be held accountable for anything in life. C-PTSD is a survival mechanism and it’s allowed me to endure a very difficult life, it’s a battle scar of perseverance and staying alive where I probably should have already been dead years ago. Consider yourself extremely strong and a survivor!
I feel the same way. Literally exactly. I feel like insane is written all over my face and it’s obvious. This video wasn’t really as helpful as I thought it would be. I wish I could just at least mask my craziness.
@Isabelly_Shelly I'm sorry and I know just how you feel...like our body parts are screwed on wrong and everyone is looking Thanks for being here, I can't recommend this practice enough, I've been at it for 12 years. courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
I know how you feel!! Sending much love
I've come to understand that C-PTSD is the reason why, at 49, I never had a career...only a series of jobs.
That could definitely be C-PTSD. Lots of resources here for healing :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I'm 48 and in the same situation. 😑❤️
@@chewiechips4986 Me too ❤
Me, too! At 53!
Lost another one this week. A trigger and i self savatouge . Sp. its lime im comfortable in the strugle.
It's hard. I 've lost so many jobs. I've been late, full on cried at my desk , not been able to face going in , taking to long doing my work because I can't focus and I'm so anxious, traumatic stuff still happening whilst trying to work...... Unfortunately society defines you with work. Well , what do you do? It can make you feel worthless. I had someone ask , don't you actually want a job?
I dont want to minimize anything here as I have felt the same way. The untreated CPTSD did effect my ability to work and now ive been in therapy and working on healing. But have you ever took a step back and noticed and observed other people at work or unintentionally heard their conversations about their personal lives or beliefs and thought woah Im not as bad as I thought! There are some really mixed up people out there! In other words, give yourself some slack ❤
:)
That is a wonderful point. You may be even harder on yourself because you think everyone else is fine. I think that all the time, how are they not complaining or Struggling. They are - just in different ways, or don’t talk about it with you. 🙏
That happens to me a lot when I hear people telling stories about their families, and they’re laughing and telling a “cute” story about something that I would consider to be quite abusive and almost shocking.
But also, and maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t it seem like the workplace in itself is trauma inducing and often quite abusive?
Hi trauma friends, maybe we know each other without knowing that..
I am literally sitting here not sure if I have PTSD or ADHD and had to let go of a job and tell the recruiting company why, crying and upset. Luckily the company recruiter is so understanding and working with me. My memory, my ability to train is so debilitating. I get so overwhelmed and don't focus.
Sending you healing energy and thoughts !
Thanks for being here- sorry you're having a rough time. courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
I don't want to pretend I understand, though unfortunately I might. What works for me is I take a step back and some deep breaths, walk around the building (in non-Covid times I'll grab a tea/coffee as pretext, use the bathroom, grab water, pretend to go look for something, or in big enough buildings just go for a walk to clear the head and ground), actually get some water because I find I'm usually in need, and then come back refreshed. Then, I do the trainings twice.
I even watch these yt videos twice. The first time I really try, and I find the second time I actually learn it. It's like a life pro tip magic trick. It might not work for you because we're all different but if you haven't tried it yet, it might be worth a try. I find we tend to just be so hard on ourselves because we're used to failing and life being almost impossible feeling all the time.
You know yourself and trust you made the right choice. This is for when the right opportunity comes along. Best wishes to all of us struggling with this
Kristen it's my opinion that ADD and ADHD are sub categories that can be used to identify anxiety in children and moments for us. It's like distracted driving that happens when you get performance anxiety attempting to learn knew information you know you will be required to recall at a future date and there is a success/failure/consequence attached emotionally for you. I find textile learning to be best and when reading for recall I pretty much rewrite every word to stay focused. I can not think when learning and observed and need comfort space. You may need to figure out what learning methods make you most at easy and express this to the future employer as a special need due to ADHD or PTSD. Colleges offer assistance services for students with these problems usually at no cost. Self awareness and communication is key. Sometimes people do need to understand our needs...like a doctor or employer or spouse.
Work is exactly the place I'm struggling a lot with my traumas. Can you please make more videos on how to manage PTSD at work? Thank you so much.
Yes, Work and PTSD series would be incredible, especially right now!
Agreed!
I think this would be a great series too. It would be nice to have an opportunity to learn about, discern, and discuss in the comments signs of whether we need to adjust our approach to work or whether we need to set boundaries / leave a job. Sometimes I have a hard time knowing whether I need to change or whether the system I am functioning within is broken. Thanks Anna.
@@80islandia Absolutely agree! Been dealt with such dilemma many times myself.
Yes, please do this!
It's a scary situation at work, I can think with no problem, and hold a highly responsible job. But it's social interactions that constantly puts me on edge/high alert.
totally understand, this was a hard issue for me for years.
-Cara@TeamFairy
Diagnosed with PTSD in 2019 and now at 35 yo, I feel like I'm finally starting my career. These struggles have plagued my early months at the new job. Thank you so much!
I'm an ICU RN and it kills me that my mind is always on flight mode. I'm always behind on my tasks and charting. Everyone is sitting down while I'm running around like a chicken without a head. I love what I do but I'm so embarrassed because some of my coworkers have pointed out that they know I have ADHD. I've had too previous managers point it out also, one said I wasn't cut out to be an ICU nurse. Almost 2 years after, I'm still pushing through. My daughter tells me that she's proud of me that I keep pushing through, and yes also a single mom. I leave work everyday feeling anxious and depressed wondering why I'm always he last one leaving. It kills me! I'm good with my patients, I'm knowledgeable of my job. I told one of my coworkers who pointed out my complex that I've been through a lot and that there's a lot in my brain. I feel this all stems from my childhood trauma 😢 and added trauma that I've been through in life.
Keisha hang in there! ICU is a very stressful environment and the fact that you’ve been at it for two years is a testament to your passion about what you do AND your perseverance. You are not alone. I also am a clinician, just a different discipline, and I too love what I do but struggle to keep up with the endless charting. I struggle with feelings of shame, particularly if I persist in comparing myself to my peers. Like Anna said, it takes all kinds of thinkers and personalities and styles to make a really successful team. I have a hunch that where you shine brightest, your efficient appearing co-workers may lack. And thank you for the care you provide to people who are going through frightening and painful situations. Nurses are Earth Angels. Shine on, sister!
You are cut out to be an ICU nurse - you’re qualified and you’re doing it! The operative word here is “previous” managers. They no longer have any say in your professional capacities. A good manager will play to your strengths to help build confidence and not to your weaknesses. Seek out the professionals who might be able to help you find ways to get on top of charting. My guess is the people sitting down are those who’ve been in the job for a while and with experience comes efficiency. When you leave work every day list 3 things that you have enjoyed or have made you feel valued /appreciated - no matter how small - to balance out the negative thoughts. Keep going 🙌
Dear Keisha, from what I read, I think you are a very good nurse bringing her best possible to work. Your colleagues may have some strengths, clearly compassion and acceptance may not be one of them. Your patients are human and many of them have their own traumas too... when you forge on and live your dream... you are a light of hope to them. I was in hospital and my favorite nurse was the one who was kind and human, not the most technically brilliant one. ❤️ If you were a manager, would you champion the nurse who may have had trauma or ADHD.. or discourage her? My guess is the former - do that for yourself.
@Keisha thanks so much for sharing with us, you have some really supportive comments here which makes me so happy! If you have ADHD and CPTSD, and taking a bit longer to finish charting is the biggest consequence, you are doing SO great! I encourage you to develop a self-care routine. This is the one I talk about on all my videos courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
@@Mindverve7 Thank you !!!! It helps to know I'm not alone. Thank you for your beautiful encouraging words.
I needed this today. I just got a new job and I'm terrified that I'm letting everyone down and I'm a disappointment.
Know that feeling all too well. This is link to Daily Practice to really help clear the head out of those unwanted thoughts courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
I was extremely bullied by my mother and sister as a child, and I am having a hard time with authority and working for a bully boss right now. I am struggling hard by keeping from lashing out at my boss and not losing my well-paid job. It's a real struggle.
She ALWAYS hits it on the nail for me. Now, whenever I rewatch her old videos, I realize how much I’ve improved and how some of her topics don’t relate to me anymore.
That's great!
Hi trauma friends, maybe we know each other and we don't know..
I always try to work harder than anyone else, go above and beyond, learn more, do more, and then that ends up with me being resentful and angry when I get passed over for promotions because I don’t have the right personality for management or because I got into a conflict with a coworker. This ends up with me lashing out, and this reinforces the idea that they were right in not promoting me. Then I try even harder, work harder, etc and the cycle continues
I never had or wanted a career. I never even wanted to "be" anything "when I grew up" as a kid. I had no ambitions. I just wanted to be happy.
All my life, I avoided working, especially with people, and I had a fear of disapproval from and being a disappointment to superiors.
I got a psychology degree because I didn't want to get a job. Then I got a diploma in business. Then I had to get a job, and got a legal secretary role in a nice law firm at age 22. I worked there for 3 years until I moved to a different state.
I also never got any satisfaction from work or achieving work-related things. I was just always chronically bored, tense, uncomfortable, prone to dissociation and huge trouble focussing and retaining information, and very, very anxious. All of which I hid, and pretended to work. Luckily, I was efficient so was mostly able to get stuff done, but I spent about 70% of my time browsing the net or writing long emails to people (that were very detailed and well focussed!)
After I moved at age 25, I never worked full time again. Financially, I couldn't really afford to only work 20 hours a week, but emotionally, I couldn't afford to work any MORE than that.
Nowadays, after my previous company closed down, I work for myself. Various freelance things. I do well with this, but I know I'll never be able to have a proper job again (I basically "retired" at age 38). Now I'm 42 and it's 2.20am and I'm still up and will then sleep until 1pm yet again.
Yep. I feel completely defective, but try to hide it and brush it off in a flippant, breezy way, as I'm embarrassed.
We're glad you're here, feeling defective is typical for us with CPTSD but it doesn't have to stay like that. This free course is an excellent starting point:
courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you so much! 🙏
Thanks for your comment/history. I feel I have a similar past, never really got true fulfillment out of work- thought I’d have a family to be with and support as purpose. But the ‘being embarrassed’ is 100% true
PTSD coming from nowhere you never prepared for this monster feeling. Can show anywhere. Dealing with symptoms straight way is not always easy. PTSD ruin my life. Any stressful situation can trigger PTSD. I feel for people who can not find solution.
No solution is terrible, thankfully that is not the case for us anymore :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I resigned from an amazing job last year after just one month despite great feedback, because I was recovering from a family bereavement that brought me back into frequent contact with family members who were extremely triggering for me. I was having almost daily panic attacks and feeling like I was unworthy of the position because of what a trainwreck of a family I come from, with those family members calling at least a few times a week while I was trying to focus on learning a very challenging new role. I really wish I'd had some kind of outlet at the time to allow me to process what I was going through and still keep my job. I'd be about $90k richer right now. Instead, I self-sabotaged.
I hope you are in a better place. My family of origin is nice but extremely triggering to me, and I also struggled with panic attacks during a period of illness in the family and the bereavement that followed. I think we have to remember how difficult grief is for everyone even without CPTSD. It is sort of inhumane that people are expected to just keep going at a time like that. If you were independently wealthy, you might have taken the year off completely. Wish you the best, hope you don't beat yourself up because we don't deserve it!!
This is so apt. I'm lying, awake, unable to sleep as I am beating myself up for being lousy at my job. It's actually my CPTSD that's lousy. Thank you for this video, it helped reframe my thoughts and reminded of some positive steps I can take. 🙏😊
You got this!
I do deliveries, alone in my car, able to change my schedule especially if I'm having a rough day. Yep.
:)
I work with children with autism and it’s a very fast paced environment, no breaks, and tackling severe aggressions/emotions while having ptsd and it’s soo difficult. My brain literally turns to jello and it’s so hard to regulate. It’s comforting to see that I’m not alone !
I agree, reassurance I'm not alone goes a long way :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Hi hopefully u are doing well
Remember u have friends everywhere..
I actually bought an old school hourglass ⌛️ to keep track of chucks of time because using my phone was just too much of a temptation (even WITH notifications off). It’s a cheap plastic one but I love it ❤️
I love this!
Just the title on its own!!! Uhh had an interview today for a position in the company I’m in. Which is like, awesome!! Woman own. Flexible, from home working with youth. Literally what I’ve looked for. But I felt like an imposter like I wasn’t ready!! Even though they selected me.
I felt so small.
I'm rooting for you. You can do it friend🙏❤❤❤🥰
@@florentinaguggenheimer6557
@Nats_Pages Congratulations!!!! This just goes to show that getting what we want doesn't "fix" our CPTSD. We still have to put in the work toward healing. In the meantime- getting what we want is still pretty nice :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I am completely out of ideas on how to make money in a way that doesn’t destroy my mental health faster than I can try to rebuild it. I helps so much to read through here and not feel so alien, but I just don’t know what to do anymore
You could try being a security officer or substitute teacher... Both jobs have some what limited responsibility, so maybe that could give you time to heal...
Watching this in 2022...I'm 46 and a professional. I've suffered (yes, suffered) with symptoms since I was 13. Now, through educating myself about this and learning about dysregulation, I think I'm still grieving about how my life could've been different IF i wasn't so dysregulated, defended, and living with shame.
I've been isolating since I was still in high school. I need help. 😩
I so relate to this. I've always been an ostensible overachiever but feel like a total fraud because I know I wasn't as disciplined as I could have been. Every achievement feels unearned. I spend so much of my work day fighting and succumbing to the urge to do a chore or pick my skin or Google that thing. I'm constantly revamping my routine to be more supportive to a point where I now don't even eat until after work. I have do many explanations that I refuse to see as excuses, but it's exhausting and defeating. Just started the daily practice and hope that will help.
So glad to see you have started the Daily Practice!!! Hope to see you on a zoom support call soon :)
Hi trauma friends, we know each other after all, don't feel different 😊
This video is perfect timing! We had a "training day" at work to relearn some of our operations in anticipation of reopening next week (public library setting). I've been so stressed these past few weeks worrying about this. Dealing with my obnoxious, micromanaging coworkers is bad enough, but add in the general public and it's unbearable at times. I am so tense and hypervigilant and it's hard for me to be happy and calm at work, and not take everything personally. Your videos have been a source of comfort to me as I get ready for next week. Thank you!
I'm so glad to hear that they've been helpful! This might help courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thanks! I will definitely check that out :)
Going to echo the kudos for anyone able to be a single parent while working. Seriously impressive.
Also, excellent advice overall - I got used to relying on reactive shielding reflexes, and I needed healthier boundaries instead. It's not the whole story but it sure is crucial.
Absolutely!
Something I have had to do at the law firm where I worked. Thankfully, when I disclosed my PTSD and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery to my supervisor and she was supportive.
That's great, you were very fortunate in that regard!
I am listening to this on a bus to see a friend while contemplating sending him a message telling him I can’t come after all being stuck in an anxiety attack. Today I refused to go for a walk with my boyfriend being scared of getting a panic attack. I feel trapped and incapable of enjoying simple things. I am in therapy and I have started the daily practice 2 weeks ago, but I stil get overwhelmed outside my apartmant. I hope I’ll live normally one day again. These videos offer comfort and safety. Thank you.
Great job getting started on the Daily Practice- you are on your way :)
This is me, single parent to two teens, one with autism and schizophrenia, and living with cptsd 😣
and it never gets better. we live in a society that doesn't give a shit. I feel for you, and compltely empathize, but even this lady doesn't REALLY care.
@@missymoonwillow6545 projection much? How would you know that she doesn't care?
I'm sorry, that sounds really challenging.
SRSO that sounds really challenging! You are doing great job, and you're here on this channel. Keep going
@SRSO those are HUGE challenges and still you can get better and be more empowered to deal with difficulties that seem overwhelming. Try the Daily Practice method courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
Glad you're here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you Anna. I appreciate you dealing with this topic AND making a shorter video on it, like this one.
I could have written this letter! Single mom, house full of teens, corporate work-at-home job. These were very helpful tips!
You have a lot on your plate! Glad the tips are helpful!
This is a great video! Thank you for submitting your question... sending love 🤗
Any time!
Hi Sue, you're so strong for raising kids on your own. You are stronger than you realize! I get what you're feeling, I have trouble staying organized and the smaller tasks are much more annoying/difficult. I write down a list every morning when I get to work and I write down how much time I'll spend on each task. It helps and I feel so satisfied when I scratch off tasks as the day goes by. I'm sending you love!
Thank you sooooo very much. So clear. Beautiful detailed couching! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!
Glad you liked it!!
Very helpful. Thank you to Sue for opening up.
Glad it was helpful!
Another helpful amazing video...many thanks😊
My pleasure 😊
YES!!! I LOVE THIS!!!
Many ideas I have already been using, but some of the other ideas, I will begin implementing!!
Thank you so much!
So glad!
I feel so heard. I have been always made to feel by myself and other people that I'm weird. Because of the illnesses i have, I'm not able to focus that much on work. Recently i got told that my performance at work is bad and they have given me three months to improve. It's just not about my work, but I'm an easy target for people at work to paint me as if something is wrong with me. I cannot afford losing a job. I've been rejected in interviews because they see a desperation on my face and anxiety within me. It is sad that the world does not have a place at work for people struggling with mental illnesses
What a wonderful video. So helpful! Thank you! 👍
You are so welcome!
Brilliant talk today! These are some very practical tips and I'm going to give some of them a go. Thank you.
Fantastic!
Yep, I lost my academic career over it.
I ruined my life too. Just hang in there. As long as you are breathing, there is hope.
I'm so sorry that happened, lots can be repaired that we can't even imagine with healing. I suggest starting here courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
I've never felt so connected to the Fairy when she was talking about creating mess wherever she goes.
ha ha
Omg! This video validated my experience when i was in the first year of college. I was always the person who involve herself on the students organization since high school. Then in college, i found out that i lost my ability to handle responsibility for almost all of my organizational project. Due to the chaos that happened in my dysfunctional family. (At that time, i was in my lowest point in life, damaged, really hard for me to understand what's really going on and what should i do with my life. So i just go autopilot). I got a bad rapor and lots of evaluation from others in the group. Then i feel bad about myself, really internalizing that. And i didn't continue any organizational activities for the rest of my college years. I really really sad about that because i love to meet new people, make new connection and experience new things. It also influence my esteem until now, relating to applying for the job and following through the process. Omg omg omg. The struggle is real! But i feel like it's getting better and better.
I'm so grateful to know that it's possible for me to fix it then come back to focus on anything i do. I'm so grateful to know that im just dysregulated. Im not a failure and not a bad person. I can do better next time.
Thank you, Dear Fairy, you help me so much in my healing journey, to be more practical and grounded in myself❤
Yes!! ESPECIALLY for those in the tech industry. Thank you good lady!
You are so welcome!
Hi Anna - I don't have words to say how grateful I am to you. Thank you. Not only did I personally need this topic badly but in general watching your videos helps me because I feel validated and hopeful. There are literally no other places in my life where this happens. What you are doing is huge. It's helpful. It's calming. It helps me change and also love myself "as is" a little teeny tiny bit on both fronts each day. Thank you Thank you Thank you.
Thank you for the very kind words- & thank you for watching, this channel was created for you!
Beautiful and sincere letter. I really feel for her.
And I can relate... 😔
Thanks for supporting the letter writer. Sometimes people here forget that real people shared their stories and read the comments. Everyone who writes is a dear soul!
Thank you so much I have the same issues than Sue and I got a new job now for 6 months and I don’t want to mess it up but I already feel overwhelmed. This will help me get organized.
I'm glad you found the info helpful!
I honestly think u r the most practical sensible knowledgeable human being on earth who can describe ME- my life - how do u know so much? I dont know if I will ever b able to function normally in this world - as I have been trying since I was young & only found u recently & I am 56. Your perspectives-are- spot on ! Your values - ur knowledge - u know way more then any “professional” right now on you tube! A formal education would ruin that!! I cant stop listening to these videos. Thx u for trying to help - I hope someday I can have a fraction of the sanity u have!
Thank you, I strive to teach everything I know.
This one! Thank you Susan!
Susan says: you are so welcome!
This is my first week back after 6 months in isolation and the symptoms are even worse now. I felt so crippled by dysregulation today that when my boss messaged me, I thought he was going to reprimand me for something. I can't believe it's this bad so soon. Struggling. Send help.
This is the best help l can offer: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
Thank you!
Amen! I hear you. I’m pretty scared to get back into the busy office. But I do work better with people around me, the community aspect.
Thank you for these helpful insights
Glad it was helpful!
I struggle with this daily. My boss is a major micromanager and nit picks everything I do. Tells me stuff I’ve either done or plan to do. It causes me so much anxiety and stress. I dread when I see her phone call or email.
Same here. There are many people at work who trigger me.
A resentment and fear list could really help clear the mind: courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
This vid is now my favourite xxxxxxxxx thank you
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for this!!! Your work is awesome and very helpful for many
Great suggestions!
This has been me every day at work for over 40 years. It's nervewracking. Cannot deal with clutter.
Thanks for watching! Cluttered desk, cluttered mind- one of those old fashioned things they say that's actually true :)
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I don't actually have a problem with clutter myself - I just can't stand it in my environment, like if I'm at someone else's house. It feels too chaotic.
I feel like I want to set time to listen to you. You have a good balance so during a bath would actually be relaxing but then I kinda want to listen to music. I feel a little conflicted but I need to set time to listen to you but even just a minute is loaded with good information.
Wow, thank you for that gift of the wind in the trees! A long time ago, I was in a relationship where we bouth struggled with old wounds and when we needed to talk, we just drove to the forest and took a long walk. I´m living near the ocean now in a place many people come to for their vacation, but I still prefer the sound of wind in the trees with birds humming. Thank you for the practical tipps which I used to adapt my routines. Last not least, I´m a meditator and totally second you! 20min twice a day. I don´t have time NOT to do this, it´s the foundation of functioning and has given me back 3 more productive hours every day.
Yes! Thanks for sharing your experience with meditation.
-Cara@TeamFairy
Pomodero technique. I first used that in a course by Barbara Oakley called Learning How to Learn. I highly recommend it.
:)
I understand. A lot of times when people may suffer from functional depression it is hard to concentrate and some tasks seem tedious because it feels like these tasks lack a sense of accomplishment.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Noise canceling headphones 🎧 🏆🙌🏻
Love your new hairstyle, Anna!
It helps to have open salons! Thanks.
I have had CPTSD my entire life due to trauma however at age 22 i was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelites (fibromyalgia) i have been denied disability 7 times, i have been homeless most of my life and when i finally got a place my identity was stolen and i have been unable to pay bills for almost a year.
I dont know where to begin to right this ship
@Laurel_Dell those are very trying circumstances. All we can offer is a way to clear your mind and hopefully be empowered to take the next necessary steps. This is a free course to help courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Another great video!!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
A great video!.......thank you.....
Thank you too!
I was struggling before covid-19 and, in a panic, quit my job when shut-downs began. I wish I had taken FMLA, but I wasn't able to think clearly. I know that most of my panic was due to unhealed c-ptsd. It is distressing and I feel like a failure. Logically, I know that's not true, but that inner critic is having a field day. Thank you for the thoughtful video. RIght now, I'm "meh," but I know I'll refer to your ideas as I am able. Warm regards. xoxo
I understand feeling frustrating when making a decision too quickly- glad you're here and hope you get some tips to help.
I really needed this
Great!
A very, very helpful video.
Glad you think so!
Live in the present. Focus on your hands and fingers to get in the present.
:)
I became a nurse. Talk about trigger! Patients, families, and managers hand out nothing but abuse on the daily. I was always good at my job but the depression and dissociation get harder and harder to manage, especially after I had cancer. I ended up quitting before finding a new job. Only night shift from now on because people are horrible towards nurses. I’m still fearful for the future with this job being so hard on my mental health.
This is great because I have an organizer helping me.
Great idea!
I lack motivation planning vision memory
I am literally at the very brink of collapsing
This hit home😳
Thank you for being here!
I like ur courage talking about the things that u have always dumped
Love this woman
:)
I so needed this. We'll back to the states five months ago and i'm starting a new job
I was living in Taiwan for 20 years. And now I have to figure out how to function here.
When I applied for a job they asked me if I had it. I didn't have told him when I had cpt s d
It's not something you want to reveal to in asia
I'm american but I moved away when I was twenty three
Oh thank you dear, My coleague blame me and project their hurt, Im complette exhausted, LAST 24 YEAR I DID EVERYTHING TO FIX IT. BUT NOW IS BACK AGAIN
I could not give Sue better advice but can add my support and prayers and understanding. I am a 'big picture' person and detail -well I gave myself a hard time for housework for decades. Big projects great, not bad on achievement scale, but the house is a mess. So, 1 minute of housework a day and it is a little better, but in fact there is method in my madness. My priority is to put myself at my typewriter after my morning meditations. If I start housework my limited energy is expended and my big projects would not get done. I have chronic short term memory problems and concentration zero, those are consistent symptoms. With my academic project I have learned to write down where I left off, otherwise the following day I cannot remember what I did the day before. I am learning to accept my imperfections. My need to confess my difficulties has always got me into difficulties unless to a professional, but my current therapist thinks I need more vitimens - but she is good in many ways but the lack of PTSD awareness is common. Good luck with your excellent work and keeping 4 children, that is an incredible achievement. I do think that my past shows on my face, like everyone else, it would be surprising if it did not, but I am becoming less self-conscious, more self accepting and thus people accept me more. Recent discovery is that my early bonding has left me with, I would judge, a permanently impaired system of bonding and relating to people - break ups, for example, I am over in 3 or 4 weeks and 30 years in therapy made my friend making abilities, well awkward NIL DESPERANDUM. I am an artist and someone said that this requires a 'slither of ice' in the heart - and I think this makes sense for me. I am friendly, but one great saint said she could never make close friends. I am peaceful today. Peaceful with myself, peaceful with my family from a distance, and have taking advice 'always be reading, writing or praying' or watching Utube when I am on overload with piety. Being in contact by prayer is a way of being in contact with people, my thoughts are not now entirely centred on myself, but on my work. The CCF is the icing on the cake, and I am wondering what I shall learn today in this extraordinary world.
Glad to be the icing! Thanks for being here :)
Executive function tips, thanks.
To request a live response from Anna, please be as specific as possible and email your question to hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com. Type 'Ask the Fairy' in the subject line to indicate you are interested in the question being made into a video.
-Cara@TeamFairy
1:32, thanks
Yes 100% I'm at a point of finding joy In my life an chasing my dreams 🙃😅. Thank you Anna ❤💖 your steeps an work made me feel stronger and willing to live with my flaws. I find the others responded with understandment. An the ones that didn't fate came in to protect me.
I find 4:44 that not making excuses for not wanting to do.
6:66 I find in understanding what comes out of my actions and feeling good about aceving at that I put my mind too.
I found that loving my self helps with healing. Is making shore I take care of my needs. An understanding at the same time that. (The people that hurt you choose to not handle the problems that faced them. The only way to heal is to understand that they had choose. An we have choose. 11:33
I make a list of things I would like to get done and give 12:12 them a time limit. Popcoro wow that cool.
Thanks for being here!
Dear CCF Thank you for your heart message - this means a lot to me. I had better notify my lovely co CCF followers that I cannot reply to e mails - this is because I am not really a computer person, so please do not take it personally. xx
:)
This is familiar. A lot of self doubt for me in a work situation. I had to try twice as hard as "normal" people just to do mediocre work. I'd miss details and forget bits and pieces. But I just kept plugging along and was able to retire from the military at 50. I would've loved to have had a great career, but it was not in the cards. I was a single parent of three, plus parented so many of my kids' friends because they came from less than stellar families. And all my trauma was bubbling up the entire time, but I had no idea what was going on.
I was let go from my job today. They said it was due to budget cuts. I can’t help but believe it was due to my CPTSD. I’m working on staying regulated but unfortunately didn’t find Anna’s channel soon enough. I know where I went wrong and it makes me so sad. Initially, they said they had long terms plans for me but then the crazy came out and they let me go. I feel completely lost. 😪
When things like this happen, I like to imagine it's because the universe has a different plan for me. One that will make me feel included and happy, not judged for having CPTSD. I hope you found that new path✨️
@@anotherhealingjourneybegins thank you for that kind and caring response. Here’s my update. I did find a new job. And in finding my new job, I also found that I was in a very toxic environment. So, it wasn’t just me. Because of my CPTSD I didn’t see it. I could not have won where I was at. The universe did have a different plan for me and that was to bring me to some place that was better for me. I still miss the job itself but I’m working around people who are much healthier and in turn, this is helping me to heal. ❤️
@melissalopez9607 this is beautiful news, Melissa, I'm so happy for you! Being around people who can respect and appreciate you definitely helps. Keep pushing forward🙌✨️
I drive for a school transportation company and we have to be on camera during each trip. Well, verbal road rage is a problem for me and I'm scared someone will see the footage. I never do it when I have passengers but I get irrationally angry at other drivers, especially bc so many of them treat me worse in the work car than in my personal car. I use foul language and I feel very ashamed. Typically they only ever see the footage if there's a specific incident like a car accident etc but I'm still fearful of them seeing it.
If they did have time to watch-which sounds like it would be quite boring, you'd probably be giving them a little needed entertainment :)
I struggle with work and life. I've gotten to the point that I don't want a job and currently can do only 4hrs at a time. I'm afraid that I will be fired because I feel like I'm crumbling. I truly feel like I need to move out of the type of job work elsewhere. But i can't bring myself to believe someone would hire me for the job i want to do
Sorry to hear that you are struggling so much, this technique may help courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com/courses/daily-practice
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow, did I write this? I totally feel you. I literally have to take it hour by hour. Prep myself with coffee, dig in to what I need to do and that helps. One thing at a time..
I'm so afraid to even try to get a real job (more than 2 days a week). The thought of having to go somewhere everyday makes me so anxious and incredibly sad 😢 Deep inside I absolutely don't want to be an adult. I'm desperate
🫂 I'm so sorry you're in this much pain. It's totally understandable. We are all in different levels of healing. I hope things lighten up for you soon. Believe you will make it through the dark. You deserve to be here in this world as much as the rest of us✨️
Anna is there a list of jobs best suited for cptsd people or is that based on what each person can manage ?
Recently I’ve been considering if remote work would be best for me - that also may be a trauma decision as I am and have always been a blue collar guy - I’ve always chased the idea that I just haven’t found my mission or if I could only run my own gig - I’m thinking that’s not the issue - it’s me and the usual cptsd suspects. Thanks Anna for another enlightening video !
I'm the same about words with lyrics hijacking my brain!
Right!
I would really appreciate any insights on my question:
How can I best choose a career that allows me to fulfill my passion for helping people while also managing my cptsd?
I tend to do great with tasks that are complicated and require a high level of research and strategy but I fail at managing my stress and doing small tasks without clear instructions. I also mask a lot during team projects even tho people can’t tell, it drains me and makes me so prone to have massive emotional outbursts when I’m alone.
got 'found out' at my last job. talked with the head teacher and deputy principal to go and have 2 days off a week, which resulted in my contract not being renewed and replaced with my casual. not very fun, still feeling like a failure because of it.
So sorry that happened, it shouldn't be such a risk to disclose but unfortunately it is. Here is what you can do to start healing bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
It was only up until recently I realised that I was suffering from cptsd, before this I just thought there was something wrong with me and also that I'm an ennegream type 9 and I was always afraid of being found out and its usually that judgemental disgusted look that I would get from someone and its horrible to go through
Glad you are getting what you need here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
So.. I got a great job in accounting. However the people are extremely uppity and “stuffy”. Their treatment towards me has made me extremely nervous which has worsened the treatment I get from them, which then makes me MORE nervous. It’s a snowball getting bigger and bigger. They make me feel stupid and embarrassed a great deal of the time.. it’s very hard dealing with people like this while trying to heal your dysregulation.. I know I can’t be myself around these people at all. I don’t know what to do 😭
I would do the Daily Practice, and I would (and have) even be writing those fears out at work bit.ly/3608opl
-Cara@TeamFairy
Damn, I could have written that letter (minus the single mother part). Went through all of this. The fairy is SO RIGHT, don't tell your employer more than they need to know, you don't owe them that. You are the kind of conscientious employee that WANTS to do well, that wants to get everything perfect, that's actually rare.People like us get exploited by employers, quite honestly, because it is easy to use a conscientious persons' guilty conscience against them to get more work out of them. If you get your work done, no matter how, that's all that counts, and you are not the only person who does it in fits and starts (I have 'sane' coworkers who work like that) or sometimes has an off day where nothing works. Take her advice, she is dead on
I really hope this helps the mom who wrote in.
Me too.
Me too!
This is my #1 struggle with CPTSD. I am always so afraid of people finding out I have CPTSD and what they will think of me. Of course I try hiding it from everyone in my life. Probably not good to do but 😒
Glad you're here!
-Cara@TeamFairy
ANNA I would love to chat with you. About how your work is helping me. I will email my info. 🌞
Wonderful!
Anna, can you speak to hyperfocusing at one point? It’s the flip-side of adhd. It is a sign of dysregulation and is exhausting and insidious.
I have PTSD because i was abused as a child by a bipolar mother. Now i dont give a fk, i alternate work periods and unemployement periods. On my free time im working on a computer programming project that will make me some really good money in a couple of years. In the meantime, i don't struggle anymore to fit in the workplace. I'm just MYSELF, if coworkers dont like me, i dont care. I don't work to make new friends, i already have friends, and i work to make money.
So to sum it up. Focus on side projects and personnal developpement (spirituality, therapy, and so forth). And BE YOURSELF at the workplace despite you are different.
Reduce your expenses so you can afford to alternate unemployment and work with some savings.
But what if these are the realities and not just fears and you have been called crazy and fired by employers for having PTSD/ADHD in more than one job.