Let me know in the comments: in which areas of your life do you struggle to communicate well? Which C is your strong/weak point? To discover your downloaded communication blueprint, get the guide here: www.terricole.com/7-steps-to-powerful-and-effective-communication-guide AND me and my pal Mark Groves are teaming up to offer a 3-hour workshop called Crushing Communication if this is something you want to dive deeper into. Go to crushingcommunication.com for the details. It's happening November 5 at 1 pm Eastern and a replay is available ❤
I struggle with communicating and feeling heard and understood as well. I love how you explained it. I often come across as taking over a conversation, interrupting, and beating a dead horse. I go silent if I feel like I'm constantly misunderstood or I don't feel safe to communicate without it getting twisted around and turns into yelling. I also am a processor, I need time to think, articulate, and process my feelings.
New here and wow! You’ve already helped me realize a whole bunch about myself. Always have struggles with communicating and I always shut down when being spoken too- didn’t realize it was me being defensive 😂 Thank you!
Good morning, 😊great subject. English is my second language and it’s very hard to feel respected when I speak with accent and making grammar mistakes. I am always open to learn something new to perfect my speech. Thank you for making this video ❤
Another great youtube learning for me! I need to slow down and process the information I get. I used to always react quickly and call my family back and usually start an ARGUMENT. I like your idea about drafting an email and then going back 24 hours later to see if I can shorten it or for me to see if it comes across angry or nasty. I need to take myself seriously before others will. I always download your guides and keep them as references when I need them. Thanks again for another grerat useful learning lesson!😍
Thank you Terri! Another great episode! I am mindful of my communication but realize after this episode that my weak point is verbal rambling when needing to be understood. My strong point is concise written business communication. I refine anything I need to say or send professionally many times before I make the call or send the communication. Thanks for all that you do ... be well!
Thank you for sharing! ❤️ I think many of us who were raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents probably have a difficult time voicing our needs and being understood after so long of not putting ourselves first!
Wow, so true! Still working on it! Your Boundary Boss Book and Boundary Boss Boot Camp Course changed my life! Looking forward to the new workbook! @@terri_cole
Love your work Terri ❤.im in my fifties and just learning everything that i wanted/ needed in my younger years. I Thank god for your. Existence.. who is showing the way 🙏. I find when i want to express a need my voice goes. Lower as if i shouldnt be expressing it . OR my voice will go louder if someone wants me to repeat or express myself again. By this stage i feel upset and angry and lose my ground.. happens especially with males 🤔
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ You are so not alone. Speaking our needs can be challenging after not doing it for so long. I often recommend practicing saying these things alone first. It's almost like learning a new language- we have to give ourselves some grace. ❤️ I also invite you to ask the 3 Qs because you said it happens especially with males- 1) Who might the person remind you of? 2) Where have you felt like this before? 3) How is this behavioral dynamic familiar to you? You might find something deeper there to journal about.
Thank you Terri.🎉 You highlighted the truth, we are sponges that absorb how things are done around us and we must now take responsibility for creating the experiences we desire in our life. That may include other people, therefore it is important to know how to communicate effectively😅
Thank you for this valuable video Terri. Communication is such an interesting subject to me and the seven -steps explained a useful summary to focus on and express the meaning of a message or talk as effectively and relevant as it should be. I think that when it comes to understanding our boundaries and how you express them the part of being well communicated is so vital. I also find it interesting learning how to adjust communication depending on the context.😊
I think communicating on social media is different than in-person. Where I feel misunderstandings happen is mostly on Twitter or Linked-In. Anyway I am planning on doing a course on social media through one of the colleges so I can communicate better there. I think the 7 C’s are very helpful when communicating in general though. Thank you for your video Terri!
You're welcome, and thanks for sharing! While I agree and know misunderstandings happen often on social, I'm curious to know what you think is different about communication on social platforms? (For what it's worth, I know many people have said they feel worse when they're scrolling on, say, Facebook, and might be in more of a reactive mood, but I'm not sure if that's what you were referring to.)
Hey it was a great episode thank you for sharing it my problem with communication is that I get argumentative sometimes more like I’m trying to prove a point or I always have the answer immediately does that have to do with the environment I grew up in ? And if so how can I improve this? thank you in advance
Hey there- thanks for asking! This video on how to stop being defensive might be more helpful: ruclips.net/video/thPuQxYeWw0/видео.html There's a guide for this episode that will help you figure out if it comes from the environment you grew up in (which is likely!). The link is in the pinned comment and description over there. ❤️
Oooh Terri, thank you so much for this! I haven’t even finished watching the episode yet but it hit me so hard when you mentioned the south of the US and how they have mastered the art of passive aggressive. Both of my parents are immigrants from Mexico and growing up around southern people has been SO DIFFICULT. The communication styles I learned at home (very direct and sometimes a little aggressive) are completely different from the way people in the south communicate. I have struggled to understand Southern people and what they mean when they speak for so long, as have my parents. I am in my mid twenties now and I finally sort of understand “southern code” but I hate it and I do not participate in that sort of inauthentic communication. All that to say, thank you for that mention, Terri, I feel very seen and heard. I also feel relieved. Like, ok THEY are being dysfunctional, there’s nothing wrong with me and my directness. It has caused me to feel like I cannot be my authentic self because it is often “too much”. I am working on allowing myself to fully express my authentic self, regardless of how people may interpret it. Thank you thank you for this, boundary bo$$$$ 🫶🏽❤️
I grew up in Tennessee, I forgot to mention. But I visited Mexico every summer as a kid and this helped me stay connected to my family, language, and culture - which is such a blessing - but as a kid, I often felt like that weirdo.
Do you feel mad? Can you ask your wife to share specifics about when you sound mad? Can you give her permission to bring it to your attention in the moment? Maybe you can have a code word that she can use to let you know your tone is harsh? I also think going back to your childhood experiences with a house full of screaming and journaling about how that impacted you could help, too. Thanks for asking this question ❤️
If it is possible to struggle with every letter of C-L-E-A-R- then, that would be me, I've been trying to correct this trauma and have never been able to correct the damage from the home I grew up in, still to this day this damage of dysfunction effects every function of my functionality in life, is there hope for me before exiting this life, still searching, hoping and believing I'm going to see the me that I'm to be.😢😢😢😢😢😢
I am witnessing you with compassion, Denise ❤️ I think there is hope for everyone, especially if you're here with this self-awareness and you're looking to learn. That is the first step ❤️ I suggest, if it's a possibility for you, getting professional help from a therapist- maybe one who specializes in trauma, to guide you through this. I know I gave you resources from my site in a previous comment but I'll leave them here, too: terricole.com/gethelp
Let me know in the comments: in which areas of your life do you struggle to communicate well? Which C is your strong/weak point? To discover your downloaded communication blueprint, get the guide here: www.terricole.com/7-steps-to-powerful-and-effective-communication-guide AND me and my pal Mark Groves are teaming up to offer a 3-hour workshop called Crushing Communication if this is something you want to dive deeper into. Go to crushingcommunication.com for the details. It's happening November 5 at 1 pm Eastern and a replay is available ❤
I struggle with communicating and feeling heard and understood as well. I love how you explained it. I often come across as taking over a conversation, interrupting, and beating a dead horse. I go silent if I feel like I'm constantly misunderstood or I don't feel safe to communicate without it getting twisted around and turns into yelling. I also am a processor, I need time to think, articulate, and process my feelings.
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️
New here and wow! You’ve already helped me realize a whole bunch about myself. Always have struggles with communicating and I always shut down when being spoken too- didn’t realize it was me being defensive 😂 Thank you!
So glad this was helpful, and welcome! 💕
Thank you for sharing this valuable information.
Best wishes from my hometown here in Perth Australia 🙏❤️
Thank you for being here and watching 💕
Good morning, 😊great subject. English is my second language and it’s very hard to feel respected when I speak with accent and making grammar mistakes. I am always open to learn something new to perfect my speech. Thank you for making this video ❤
Thank you for sharing ❤️
Another great youtube learning for me! I need to slow down and process the information I get. I used to always react quickly and call my family back and usually start an ARGUMENT. I like your idea about drafting an email and then going back 24 hours later to see if I can shorten it or for me to see if it comes across angry or nasty. I need to take myself seriously before others will. I always download your guides and keep them as references when I need them. Thanks again for another grerat useful learning lesson!😍
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Terri! Another great episode! I am mindful of my communication but realize after this episode that my weak point is verbal rambling when needing to be understood. My strong point is concise written business communication. I refine anything I need to say or send professionally many times before I make the call or send the communication. Thanks for all that you do ... be well!
Thank you for sharing! ❤️ I think many of us who were raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents probably have a difficult time voicing our needs and being understood after so long of not putting ourselves first!
Wow, so true! Still working on it! Your Boundary Boss Book and Boundary Boss Boot Camp Course changed my life! Looking forward to the new workbook! @@terri_cole
We're reading the BBB in my women's circle. Thanks for this life-changing material!
Thank you for letting me know- I love hearing that! 💕
Love your work Terri ❤.im in my fifties and just learning everything that i wanted/ needed in my younger years. I Thank god for your. Existence.. who is showing the way 🙏. I find when i want to express a need my voice goes. Lower as if i shouldnt be expressing it . OR my voice will go louder if someone wants me to repeat or express myself again. By this stage i feel upset and angry and lose my ground.. happens especially with males 🤔
I am witnessing you with compassion ❤️ You are so not alone. Speaking our needs can be challenging after not doing it for so long. I often recommend practicing saying these things alone first. It's almost like learning a new language- we have to give ourselves some grace. ❤️
I also invite you to ask the 3 Qs because you said it happens especially with males- 1) Who might the person remind you of? 2) Where have you felt like this before? 3) How is this behavioral dynamic familiar to you? You might find something deeper there to journal about.
I love listening to you! If you ever want to do a retreat on Maui I would love to help coordinate that
Why thank you Katie! I appreciate the offer 💕 I am getting more into retreats next year and will keep that in mind!
Thank you Terri.🎉
You highlighted the truth, we are sponges that absorb how things are done around us and we must now take responsibility for creating the experiences we desire in our life. That may include other people, therefore it is important to know how to communicate effectively😅
Right on! Thanks for sharing ❤️
Such good reminders! Communication is so important to our relationships. Your manner of presentation is refreshing. Thank you.
Thank you! ❤️
Thank you for this valuable video Terri.
Communication is such an interesting
subject to me and the seven -steps
explained a useful summary
to focus on and express the
meaning of a message or talk
as effectively and relevant as it should be.
I think that when it comes to understanding our
boundaries and how you express them the part of being well communicated is so vital.
I also find it interesting learning
how to adjust communication depending
on the context.😊
Thank you so much for sharing as always ❤️❤️
I think communicating on social media is different than in-person. Where I feel misunderstandings happen is mostly on Twitter or Linked-In. Anyway I am planning on doing a course on social media through one of the colleges so I can communicate better there. I think the 7 C’s are very helpful when communicating in general though. Thank you for your video Terri!
You're welcome, and thanks for sharing! While I agree and know misunderstandings happen often on social, I'm curious to know what you think is different about communication on social platforms? (For what it's worth, I know many people have said they feel worse when they're scrolling on, say, Facebook, and might be in more of a reactive mood, but I'm not sure if that's what you were referring to.)
Hey it was a great episode thank you for sharing it my problem with communication is that I get argumentative sometimes more like I’m trying to prove a point or I always have the answer immediately does that have to do with the environment I grew up in ? And if so how can I improve this? thank you in advance
Hey there- thanks for asking! This video on how to stop being defensive might be more helpful: ruclips.net/video/thPuQxYeWw0/видео.html There's a guide for this episode that will help you figure out if it comes from the environment you grew up in (which is likely!). The link is in the pinned comment and description over there. ❤️
Oooh Terri, thank you so much for this! I haven’t even finished watching the episode yet but it hit me so hard when you mentioned the south of the US and how they have mastered the art of passive aggressive. Both of my parents are immigrants from Mexico and growing up around southern people has been SO DIFFICULT. The communication styles I learned at home (very direct and sometimes a little aggressive) are completely different from the way people in the south communicate. I have struggled to understand Southern people and what they mean when they speak for so long, as have my parents. I am in my mid twenties now and I finally sort of understand “southern code” but I hate it and I do not participate in that sort of inauthentic communication. All that to say, thank you for that mention, Terri, I feel very seen and heard. I also feel relieved. Like, ok THEY are being dysfunctional, there’s nothing wrong with me and my directness. It has caused me to feel like I cannot be my authentic self because it is often “too much”. I am working on allowing myself to fully express my authentic self, regardless of how people may interpret it. Thank you thank you for this, boundary bo$$$$ 🫶🏽❤️
I grew up in Tennessee, I forgot to mention. But I visited Mexico every summer as a kid and this helped me stay connected to my family, language, and culture - which is such a blessing - but as a kid, I often felt like that weirdo.
Thank you for sharing, and I'm glad it resonated ❤️
A lot of times email and text get misunderstood too much !
I remember a lot of screaming in our household, as a child. As an adult my wife tells me I sound mad all the time. Any suggestions?
Do you feel mad? Can you ask your wife to share specifics about when you sound mad? Can you give her permission to bring it to your attention in the moment? Maybe you can have a code word that she can use to let you know your tone is harsh? I also think going back to your childhood experiences with a house full of screaming and journaling about how that impacted you could help, too. Thanks for asking this question ❤️
If it is possible to struggle with every letter of C-L-E-A-R- then, that would be me, I've been trying to correct this trauma and have never been able to correct the damage from the home I grew up in, still to this day this damage of dysfunction effects every function of my functionality in life, is there hope for me before exiting this life, still searching, hoping and believing I'm going to see the me that I'm to be.😢😢😢😢😢😢
I am witnessing you with compassion, Denise ❤️ I think there is hope for everyone, especially if you're here with this self-awareness and you're looking to learn. That is the first step ❤️ I suggest, if it's a possibility for you, getting professional help from a therapist- maybe one who specializes in trauma, to guide you through this. I know I gave you resources from my site in a previous comment but I'll leave them here, too: terricole.com/gethelp
Hello 🎉
Well hello there!