Why You Should Stay Single
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- Опубликовано: 1 июл 2024
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0:00 - Intro
1:03 - Dating is a struggle if you're not high value
4:35 - Going monk-mode feels good
6:40 - The Dating Apps Weaken and Distract You
12:14 - Cement Your Philosophy on Dating
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Hey Nikhil, thanks for the useful content. Someone whose channel you might find useful is Casey Zander
I have a funny feeling that the real intention of this habit tracking app is not really to help you track your habits.
I mean, just think about it..why would he ever want to help you with something that would be so unbeneficial to himself?
Oh, wait! Ah ha! I know why he would put time and energy into creating an app just to help you track your habits ..because this app was really created to harvest your data and make loads of money of your stolen harvested data..and it's all done without your knowledge and without your voluntary consent. He's lying if he denies or says otherwise.
It's way easier getting chicks in a small town or small city... If you drove through some small town right now, and just got chatty with the young women at the stores, some of them will just fawn over you, if you are naturally Charming that is, because dudes in small rural towns are lame, so a little bit of charm and some fresh clothes can go along way, also they use to being broke, so 35K a year, thats good enough for them if you both in your 20s, meaning you could just have a Construction Job around Town, and you are successful enough. Now go to a Real City and they all playing Musical Chairs for Millionaires, so you're left to One Night Stands and Short Flings... At that point just say, Hi, your name, and you want to Huck, and you'll bang more than you'll get slapped...
Thank you sir ,I was lookingfor this content for there last couple of years from this channel thank you very much 🙏💌
Look what Andrew Tate...does.....
How does it make u feel
ruclips.net/video/tLahXOiN-p0/видео.html
If I could do anything over, it would be through late teens and 20’s to focus on me and build myself instead of exhausting so much energy on chasing women.
Well said. I feel the same.
Same bruh, my PUA phase was a god damn tragic waste
Any advice to give to a clueless 18 years old who have no purpose in life?
@@frog6054 Everyone envies you.. you have a whole life infront of yourself, the best years have just began.. you don't need advice. I have been there, trust me.
@@frog6054 fucking find one lol! Might sound redundant but you got time to try out different fields of work to see which one you excel in, don't rush it. When you figure it out stick to one and crush it and then maybe do others later
Benefits of staying single:
- Save money
- Invest more time in yourself
- You increase your value by developing skills
> Less distractions from your life purpose, you make more progress
> Monk mode specifically allows you to know yourself, and really connect with yourself
What about desire to fuck?
What about masturbation?
And what if celibacy isn’t an option, but rather a fall back to most.
Save money - debatable. If you're living with roomates sure, but if you're living by yourself there are huge benefits to splitting food, electricity, internet, car expenses etc etc. Not to mention the dual incomes when it comes to buying a house. Lots of variables in there and like everything else, is nuanced as hell.
@@MattKander you save money that would have put in some chick
Tho you could argue you’ll save money if your partner splits bills with you, especially rent or groceries.
Disadvantages:
- no sex
- sad
- suppressing natural evolution
- still doing all of this for the end goal of not being single
Never had a girlfriend and I’m 27. I would say I’ve worked on myself well enough to put myself into a good spot. Don’t fall for the peer pressure and work on yourself first
If a relationship is distracting you from your actual goals then stay single, if your relationship is actually supporting you do achieve that goal stay in that relationship.
Definitely in a period of monk mode right now. I would be lying if I said part of me wasn't growing to meet the woman of my dreams. I want commitment. I want a family. I also want to follow my dreams of making music which has been fun to learn lately. Also realizing my physical capabilities. I appreciate your videos Captain.
@Grapefruit Juice im 21 and never had a girlfriend before
Same I make music too
I feel that shit
The problem starts when you find that women and she does not want all that
Women of your dreams? Do you still believe in Santa lol
Two weeks ago me and my girlfriend made the mutual decision to break up and start prioritizing ourselves more. It's painful to drift apart from her but it's also been extremely rewarding to see my own growth since then. It's crazy how when you're in a relationship you don't even notice yourself slipping. Goals I once had hardly mattered to me anymore and now that I'm single I realize how much I've neglected myself. I even vowed not to let a relationship consume me or overtake my individuality, and yet it still did over time. This video really resonates with me damn.
Wasn't mutual but my decision instead, 3 weeks ago. Not easy to move on. The excitement of being my own person again is not there yet. Good luck. I'm struggling.
PS. 30 y.o. and first time dumping someone, how ridiculous is that.
@@FilipGiera Stay strong. Pain and regret is all part of the process. You will get there man. Spend time with friends, pick up new hobbies, keep busy for a while and eventually it'll make the time alone a lot easier.
A healthy relationship doesn't get in the way of goals, it helps you meet them.
This is because both of you are co depending on each other. Not every relationship is like that. If you find the right person with no issues or less and mutual understanding you don't have to go monk mode. If you find a good woman she will uplift you and you will develop more. You are just to depend and co depend i get it i was like tou before. When you grow more you will understand.
This is not directly aimed at you, but rather my musings inspired by your comment.
Maybe the reason we often stop growing when we are in a relationship, is because growth is not a goal itself, but a mean to achieve the goal - meeting a partner.
So lack of growth when we are in relationship is a very normal situation. It might not be the most practical one, because relationships end and then we find ourself "behind" in a way. But assuming that we will stay in that relationship forever (which I think is a natural, human tendency to feel), slowed down growth is very natural and understandable.
Great video my man! Your B-rolls are something else lol
Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child.
1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons.
John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind.
What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored and the 3th reason is, the pressure of peers and older generations. “People around me repeated daily, get married and have children and move out, so I did. Am I happily living after? NO, i`m bitter, angry, sad, broken, in fear, heavy leaden, in darkness, always in somewhat contests with people around me, who has something better, something more and so on…, I succumbed to the fear of the opinions about my life of others, thats the hurtful truth.”
We start feeling lonely, because we are on our own, lonely comes not from BEING ALONE. We all suffer of something and as we like “diagnoses” then lets diagnose ourselves: too often in the company of people, leading us to fear ALONE TIME, which each soul needeth. The cure for all of our problems are: ALONE TIME AND BIBLE.
KJV Bible says;
Matthew 6:31
Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
Luke 12:22
And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.
Matthew 6:25
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Well Done
The apps are a necessary evil for many men and thats why learning social skills puts you, LEAGUES, above most other men
learning social skills dont matter if you ugly
@@Saberdud Shut up
@@Saberdud exactly, this guy just don't get it
@@Saberdud of course they do, social skills are only one pillar tho. if you are ugly there are plenty of things you can do to improve
go to the gym, get a better haircut, have better skincare, use clothes that fit your body type or if you wear glasses, find those that suit your face best.
show me two ugly guys, one who gave up and his twin who optimized everything, they would be a stunning difference
@@thomas.thomas "Just looksmaxxx bro" 😂
Even as a married man, this video had a lot of value. I am finding that you have to keep your looks, keep grinding and progressing in order to let her know there is no option better than you. It is great for your self esteem.
@@SonofSolomon in some ways you still have to, would you be okay with your wife not keeping her attractiveness after marrying you?
@@SonofSolomon It's not game. Just like you want her to keep her attractiveness up, you need to be a man among men so she can see that, and more importantly, YOU can see that. That way you know if she leaves, you will be fine.
@@SonofSolomon yea sounds unhealthy and manipulative
Amen. If you don't stay on top of your shit your marriage will fall apart. I have been there. It will happen with both of you. It's why marriages don't succeed. Stay improving yourself and keeping the relationship as if you were dating. Getting complacent will kill you.
@@SonofSolomon if you want a great marriage, you've got to game your wife even harder than when you were dating.
My wife is hip to all my bullshit so all I have is my actual self to bargin with, in many ways she's been a great tool in my life to sharpen myself and actually mold into a something real and not something consistently trying to impress. It's been really hard work but I'm truly grateful for her in my life.
In my observation, dating is synonymous with going a date or hanging out, while courting is what I see as more serious version of dating. Dating should be with a long term goal and purpose. If not, then just explore what you like in someone and take women on dates(simple dates like coffee or boba with a walk at the park). There is no reason though to keep someone as a girlfriend if she isn’t a person you want as the mother of your children.
Most underrated comment ever
I don’t know about the whole „mother“ thingy. I think if it feels right in the moment just go for it and enjoy your time together but don’t put too much pressure on the relationship. If it’s easy, it it’s good.
Except if you don't want children
@@wavestation999 well that’s a personal choice, but whether you want or don’t want children is irrelevant. If you could never see her as a good mother, then she probably won’t be a good wife.
Or a good long term partner.
@@stodd2403 nothing is Easy. An easy relationship is just FWB. A real relationship is one that challenges you to grow as a person. If neither of you are growing in the relationship, then what is the reason for it? And also, if you can’t see her as a good mother, she may not be a good wife for long term partner for you, regardless of if you want children or not(adoption or no adoption too). If she could be a good a mother in the future, it may show you the type of woman she may be towards you. And vice Versa with a woman looking for a long term relationship with a man. If she could never see him as a good father, then that could indicate that he may not be a good partner long term wise.
Back in the day a girl would bug the hell out of you just to get your attention. This is before social media. She'd call you nonstop and just hang out with you just to hang out . I was broke back then . And it was fun and good . These girls would have really conversations. I miss those days
I think it all comes down to your own childhood, environment, priorities, mental clarity.
According to me, chasing relationships or being desperate is a bad idea, they are a by product of your life journey. N staying completely off relationships is a bad idea. Early relationships teach you what you don't want, matures you in recognising red flags non negotiables even upto a point of knowing yourself a bit better, which are the building blocks for healthy long term relationships in the future. Heartbreaks builds character, resilience, wisdom about life and people, and healing from your own past trauma recognising patterns is one of the things of self awareness.
This. If you don’t date you won’t know how to when you potentially meet someone you really do like.
So much this. Young me wouldn't be interested in the man I married. Young him would have looked right past me.
This is so true.. Cz I've made mistakes and I'm aware of it only cz of experience.. I became a better version of myself through the mistakes.. So dating isn't that bad
Yes its all about childhood. If you had good childhood, everything else falls in place. If not, nothing can fill the vaccum. Not success pertucularly.
It gives you perspective on what you want and what you dont like it makes grow as ahuman
Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Great video! it is much better to be single than to wish you were. Stay single! Focus like a laser on becoming the very best version of yourself. The most beautiful, fun, playful, fit women will find you. Stay safe out there!
"To rush in the waiting arms of the first person is not love but insecurity"
Robert Greene
The art of seduction.
This phrase just stuck with me
I read that too.
I find the most peace in solitude. I can deactivate social media and disappear with ease. I spend several hours out in nature working on my body and mind daily. I find myself to be very calm, especially after years of rage. I know my purpose, and I’m patient with myself. Do I crave some physical contact? Think about a certain Someone every day? Yes. But my healing is too vital and I refuse to let my pain hurt others anymore. I’ve come too far and have to keep going. Everything will fall into place. Phenomenal video, thank you. Bless up. 🤲🏽✨
5:37 this hits home for me. 10 year relationship with my high school girl ended recently. Now I’m 26 and I’m nowhere near where I want to be in life due to that complacency. Being comfortable creates stagnation.
I couldn't stress this enough. 💯💯💯
Yeah being alone will leave you no choice but to push through in life. Being comfortable is not.
Also 26 and 2 years out of 4 year relationship, need to focus and respect myself more
That sounds super painful and lonely. I was in a very similar situation. You essentially become attached to the person and when they leave, you feel so useless as if you have nothing to do and you have no reason to go through the day. That is how I felt atleast.
How on earth did you manage to forget about her and move on. I haven't been able to forget my long term ex. Do you still have contact?
Similar. Was with the same person from age 18 into early 30's. Then it ends and its like I don't know who I am. Still on the journey.
Maybe I don’t have much value since I am in a relationship of almost 2 years, but I will say if you and your potential partner share the same mindset and life goals, that’s a massive win. As much as I like to hangout with my girl, I still give myself time to read, write, and focus on fitness. Your partner needs to be an asset not a liability.
This! I just don't understand, they say "you should stay single" yet a lot of the times they bring the statistics that men and women are not getting together. It should be like along the Journey of your self development find somebody that wants to grow with you
Ive been with my girlfriend for just over a year now and we couldn't be happier and will be moving in once I go back to medical school. We still make time for ourselves and do things seperate but together, that's how we grow. I'm not gonna throw her away or anything like that because I think we can make this work
@@acxe212 Most women don't want to grow with their man. And many of the ones that do pick bums who aren't trying to grow
You are right, my challenge is finding a person that aligns a lot with my mindset, goals and activities. For starters it's hard to find someone that will travel and work with you.
@@eberechukwualadi4838 ha! Another Nigerian that watches Sinbad...I started to think I was alone...I wish you the best in your relationship and life in general
For now I'm staying single for a few years so I can focus on my RUclips channel, gym, college, etc...
I get too distracted by women and it emotionally messes me up, I want to grow emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically before dealing with all of that again
I’ve been celibate in all ways, and the amount of pent up sexual energy that I have is insane. I focus that energy into building my business and my fitness, and it is going well.
💯👁
This video was perfect timing. I started talking to this girl that liked me just because I was lonely and it’s been so frustrating because I’m not in the best mental state. I need to get my life together and increase my value and not lower my standards just because I feel alone. Thank you for the insight.
i mean how bad would it be, don’t forget to be happy along the way man. stay in control and don’t let it overtake you, but i say go for it
In the same boat. Stay strong man.
Then she will be threatened by your new identity you achieved and disappear to go do the same thing but we'll all think it's us that's the issue and end up in the never ending cycle, doing things alone until we are satisfied or dead 😆
I was extremely lonely, and starting dating this girl, If i wasnt so lonely all this time i wouldnt have gotten into it , but I did and
dated for about 8 months. and those 8 months have been the most stressful, horrible and tensed time I have spent.
I couldnt work as hard as i used to , got soft and weak in the gym, job prep and study went down, and the intimacy didnt even make up for it,
I came out of it in a disarray, there are withdrawl symptoms and the loneliness I experience now hurts more than the loneliness before that relationship.
Silver lining - this relationship acted as a kick to the ass and bumped up motivation to work harder on my pursuits. and now with the lesson deeply engraved
that chose a person on their merits, character and personality and not just because you were feeling lonely.
I believe men are the happiest when they are fully immersed into their grind,
nothing can beat it not money, status, power, fame, nothing.. Its just the grind to keep ourselfves occupied and away from the distractions and the tragedies of this miserable life.
@@cooladi002 Sorry to hear that man. I know the feeling. The loneliness after a breakup is worse than that before. Stay strong man and I'm in the same boat.
Being single and lonely are not mutually exclusive. A lot of mainstream media and culture in general make it out to be sad but it’s not (I’m not enabling Incel Behaviour and Cynicism). Also, loneliness can arise even if you’re surrounded by people.
Agreed, loneliest I've ever been was when I was with fake friends.
Haven't dated in a while, only dated a very small number of times. I have friends and they never let me feel alone.
I have been with family, i have been in churches/schools filled with people and felt lonely.
Even in a crowded room i feel by myself. Everybody fake i guess i keep it real by myself.
While I am also not advocating incel behavior and what not- I generally do really without much intimacy/social connection. I think part of that is just because I'm an introvert. But it's also because I have lots of things that fulfill my soul- lifting, singing/drums, meditation, spending time with my dog. Would my life be better with more social connection/intimacy? Maybe, but I don't think it would make a huge difference- especially for the price that must be paid.
“Solitude and focus will get you where you want a lot faster” I love this as intimacy might be an innate need, but focusing on your own growth first instead of finding women as the main goal, you’ll be a lot more fulfilled
This is by far one of the worst comments I’ve seen on this guy’s channel
@Grapefruit Juice think about what I’ve said carefully. I’d say it again since you don’t have much capacity. INTIMACY is a NEED. The hard problem with consciousness is to believe that mind-body is seperate, and that we can out think that NEEDS of the body. To put it simply, we don’t create needs, NEEDS create us. Our biology creates our psychology, and vice-versa. To believe we have to give up a NEED, is to believe that we’re separate from our body and that we don’t NEED our bodies. Through genomic expression, consciousness arises through arousal states, circadian rhythms, and the natural healing processes such as neuroendocrine, neuropsychology, neuropsychoimmunolgy. These are all pathways that contribute consciousness, and these pathways have been found through biology, therapy, and the healing arts such as creativity. To say you have to give up a NEED such as INTIMACY, is to say you have to give up all of these pathways that make you human, and restore and replenish consciousness time after time. You wouldn’t fight the fact that you have to give up hunger, so why would you fight the fact that you have to give up intimacy. “But it’s only for a short while”, pffff, please, the simple answer to all of this is just to say you people in the online self development niches can’t relate properly to yourselves and others. Live life and don’t be a fucking idiot
@@tuwheratiaihaka2744 hey bro touch grass respectfully
@@tuwheratiaihaka2744 this is true, but how to not became a rapist? Horniness can be tempered for example by fasting. It weakens the desire for sex, so that you can focus on self development for example
@@redtok wtf are you on about. Being a rapist is a character disorder not a digestive one ffs ahaha
For me, I prefer to be single because I like being alone. The quietness is just amazing for me.
Been single since 2016 after I got dumped. Since then, I went back to college, got my Bachelors in Computer Science, and started my career as a software developer. Let me tell ya'll, if I didn't get dumped, I probably wouldn't of made it to this point. After I focused on myself, my value went up because I made myself more desirable. But because I was single the whole time, I realized that I been more happy. Freedom doesn't get talked about enough. Being able to do what you want whenever you want is an elite feeling that I don't think I can give up, at least not right now. I know women that like me now, but I feel like they don't have a shot with me. 2016 me would of never of thought that way. And remember, until you've been single for a while, you won't ever know if you're jumping into a relationship out of loneliness or happiness.
Didn't get dumped. Still got my masters in pharmaceutical Biotechnology. You are just making excuses
@@nostro1940 lol you know I’m open to the fact that you could be right. How were the classes like? Or what classes did you take I guess is the better question. I’m curious
How did you cope with being alone for so long? Even as the one who decided to end my last relationship because I knew it wasn't a good long-term plan and that I needed to work on myself, it just really fucking sucks a lot of the time. It's not a logic thing, I know what I should be doing, but every night when I go to sleep it just feels so lonely not having someone next to me. I am not willing to date because I'm lonely, as that's a terrible reason, but sometimes I feel like I don't even know how I could do anything else? When you feel terribly alone and dream of finding the right person, it's really hard not to get your hopes up and overthink things. I don't think I'll struggle too much avoiding the wrong people, but I don't think I'll be ready when I find the right person if I'm in this perpetual state of whatever the fuck this feeling is. So far the only way to actually get past this feeling is to beat it every day or two, but that also seems to fuck up my motivation/focus for studying.
right, these ppl are talking as if being in relationships make you a psycho or something. you can be in a relationship and still be focused on your goals. also its not the woman's fault, if you cant keep yourself accountable.@@nostro1940
There’s so much value in being alone. Focusing on yourself, not wasting time on things that don’t improve your life, etc,. Sadly these things aren’t valued as much as they should in todays society.
Focusing on yourself is literally one of the most narcissistic things I’ve ever heard 🤦♂️ What about being emotionally developed? Developed relationships and developed relationships with yourself? Try building that instead of trying to build an inflated sense of self. It’s BioPsychoSocial
But it cant be unbalanced
You can stay single, or you can connect with someone who is willing to grow with you :)
Up until 23, I was giving a lot of my energy and attention to the women in my life. When I took a break from this and focused on my growth, I automatically attracted the kind of woman who understood my growth and was willing to grow with me.
Interdependent relationships are what we should aim for I believe!
Refreshing to hear
There is a saying that woman act like SOUL MATES just so that they can marry u and the then after divorce they get half of ur money or whatever. Just stay safe out there don't fall for the traps. Woman r starting to realize that we know their games now so they will use more dirty tricks than ever before.
@@johanprabhu779 they need to secure the bag, the bag being a good man. Makes sense as they don’t have many other choices.
Apart from being someone worth marrying
So true bro
@@Dylmark 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
15:17 “If you keep working on yourself, time will be good to you.” Very well said. Subscribed.
Thanks brother, this is my other account
Or maybe not😂
I want to thank you for the effect you have had on my life. From your Cold Shower videos helping me get 98% in my board exams to landing a top tier management consulting job straight out of college, 3 years later. Had been going through a breakup, but your videos and podcasts have helped me stay motivated and stay in the pursuit of being a 1% man. Thanks a lot!
What did you do to get that 98% in your board exams ? I know there are no secrets but what strategy did you use ?
@@MrPuredude Cold Shower videos obviously
Management consulting bros!!!
Bro this came at such a good time! I’ve been on my purpose for 2-3 years now, and building a skill sets around my career, and decided not to date. It is lonely but I’ve had so much growth in recent months but I was doubting my decision to stay single. Recently stopped stroking it watching dirty websites and that has also increased the urge to meet women. Your videos put lots of that into perspective for me to channel that energy 🙏🏽 Love the content man
So you haven't been on your purpose if you was beating yo meat. Lol
What growth? Growth is only achieved through relationships to people. What will you have at the end of your life that is meaningful to show? $1,000,000 in your bank account? Goes to show that you can’t relate to people at all. I’d rather live a short and meaningful life with people that I value and love, than a long boring one when I stay “on my purpose” and can’t beat my meat 🤦♂️ on god you people are thick in the head
Same situation, gym, studying everyday for me
Humans need sex, so the urge to meet women is spurred by your lack of sexual intercourse. Sometimes the thing you see as a problem is actually a solution for some subconscious need. Disrupting this problem/solution usually leads to the creation of other problems/unintended consequences. I say all of this to male the point, masturbation may be healthy if you're not planning on being in a romantic relationship any time soon.
@@motjon While I somewhat agree with you, its a survival need, men are looking to thrive, not be slaves to their own impulses. Check out Think and grow Rich, it talks about sex transmutation
30's are when we do our 20's correctly.
I agree 100% with this! I have been on my self improvement journey for 5 years. I make fairly good money, have my own business, fashion on point, grooming on point, fitness is my passion, communication is great, etc. Because of this, my courage and confidence is always present. I get choosing signals and I get to decide who I want to spend my time with. For example, I talk to a girl for 5-10 min and if I think she aligns with my values; then I give her a date. You guys have to work on yourself and get to this point. It’s such a powerful feeling… to decide who is going to be lucky person in your life. Continue to strive for your greatness!
Hey can you give me an advice.... I'm 19 and 3 ladies are interested in me but I really don't know what to do because I am chasing success and mastering My habits... I'm always at war within my self to get disciplined and focused because I think I haven't achieved anything yet... money is my priority but I honestly don't know what to do with the romantic choices in front of me, just a year ago almost no one had an interest in me..so pls your opinion would be appreciated
@@folaback46 That depends on you , my guy. what do you want? Casual dates, relationship, marriage, etc. What are your goals? ask yourself : what value do these girls bring to my life?
@@Fitness_Lorenzo thank you very much for your reply....I think the only value added is experience and nothing more... I'm constantly changing so I really don't see a future with anyone
I'm 25 and I feel like my personal growth was stunted by not having a father as a teen and getting constantly bullied and put down through highschool. Then I meet people who have such an easy time getting girls and when I look at their life they had so much support from father's and peers when they were growing up, when I had none. It makes me extremely envious of them.
I have pretty much stopped trying to date since I was 22 and I have been focusing all that frustration to work on myself and build my confidence through weight training and mindfulness and I feel like I have actually grown emotionally. Learnt to love and encourage myself because I didn't get any when I was a younger man.
"the price of not being "high-value", is loneless" - damn 🔥
Been single for 13 years. Not regretted it for one second. And enjoyed every day.
Tbh, I feel like a lot of these problems can be solved by having the right partner. The real problem is it's really hard to find the right one and that is what discourages people.
Why not devote the energy spent on finding the right partner towards improving yourself?
@@bengsynthmusic cause it takes lot of energy as well to deal with the constant feeling of loneliness that comes from the fact that you're not high value enough
I mean you do that, you improve yourself every day, but damn if there was just one person who actually joined in that would make it heck of a lot easier to deal with it emotionally
What may be the reason why the feeling of loneliness is unbearable? Is it the fear of judgement from others? The harsh reality is that people want something from others. They're not going to respond to your need to not be lonely. Rather they respond to what you can do for them. Thus our journey as men building ourselves up is long and arduous. Fortunately nature rewarded us with ample time. Our expiration is far longer than our counterparts. If you want company, get friends. Relationships are expensive.
No i feel like being with the right one will still get you a feeling that you are obligated to give them attention etc. because you're both in a relationship. Better to focus all your attention to yourself.
@@bengsynthmusic yup finding the right partner is improssible if you're not even a right partner. So better to fo us on yourself. Humans are complicated including ourselves
idk how you do it man but whenever I am going through something, you manage to make a video exactly about it and all my doubts are put to rest! thanks a ton man, I owe you!
I think you are maturing very well over time and on the verge of great things. I'm excited to see how things turn out for you!
I'm going to be a little contradictory. Best advise I got, was to focus on my four best traits: Thoughtfulness, being respectful, trustworthy, and a good person. Ever since, the anxiety has gone down and the success and likeability have gone up.
Number 1 - specifically the part on "Working on your offer" - is hands down the single best analogy I've heard when it comes to starting out on the dating scene. Very well said, and well done.
Bro you are BRINGING IT with this one. Maybe I've just been under a highly specialized rock until now, but this is legit the first time I've seen someone put "Monk Mode" out there, as is. I'm in Japan, so I said it "Sohei Mode" because that's how we do here (look it up). I've got my ideal partner now (no lie, met her working in a Mexican restaurant, as a burrito specialist!), but dude, I went looooooooong game, all the way to 37 before I decided maybe the single life has its limits. Synergy is essential, and I wholly endorse everything you're putting out here.
So much on point. If you are a man on a mission, still fighting for your life's purpose, your own financial freedom, self love or whatever that is tied to your own self or identity, better go single (and casual dating if you like).
From my own experience, i always made the most progress in life when single. Being in a relationship, past the first stages of it, i start caring less about myself and my goals.
If you're going to settle, make sure that it is for the absolute best person you could get, person that you will only get by being your best possible self (IE High value).
Yeah you careless about being in a relationship because you can’t relate to yourself and your women. If you could relate properly, you could have a balanced relationship and still be on your purpose. Set boundaries, be realistic. Ya goof
I honestly didn't expect this level of insight from you. This area is something i've had my mind in for a while now, and you sum up a lot of the conclusions i've come to really succinctly.
This is one of the greatest male advice I’ve come across on RUclips. This video literally explained *everything* I’ve been feeling over the past year. Last year I ended relationships with women I was seeing at the time. I wanted to just focus on myself, but one girl kept thinking that I was ending things with her to have freedom to talk to other women. It was never about that. I wanted autonomy and I wanted a period of time to just do my own shit uninterrupted by any romance or lust.
I wanted to prioritize skill-building and I felt like I never 100% could do this when being attached to someone. I also wanted to prioritize building non-romantic and/or non-sexual connections with people. Now I know this is a phenomenon that’s not unique to me. Thank you so much for this video.
This has got to be one of my favorite videos. I got lucky and my first girlfriend is one of the most amazing people in the world in terms of intellect and compassion. We've both achieved success in our lives, but at the same time, I've gotten to a point where I want to learn how to connect with others. Seeing the argument for trying to be single definitely opens the mind.
53 y.o. male here, came to this channel by way of one of your comedic endeavours (excellent - keep them coming) and checked out your other content. The advice I would have taken, had it been given to me, and I have given to my nephew (from his teens and now into his late 20s) and friend's male and female kids (who were starting out in their 20s and 30s) is don't bother dating in college/university. Focus on you, and your career and having general fun. Living in Ottawa, Canada, where people have their kids in their 40s it shows you how much you can do until 40 to maximize yourself and your growth, from a personal and professional perspective. I look back on the people who "handcuffed" themselves early on, in terms of personal growth, and even those who are happy in their relationships (a handful of my friends and associates and acquaintances) admit they would have done it differently. Whereas, for myself, I have no regrets remaining single or at least not serious for the better part of my 20s and 30s. I'm more mature and more ready to have serious relations and more importantly am able to see if the person I am with is also mature and ready to have a serious relationship. You don't need to wait forever, especially if planning for kids, but you have a lot more time than you imagine to make the right choices. Lastly, if you have a breakup, no matter the age take a min of 12 month off dating. Why? If you were in a long-term commitment or a short toxic one you need a break to find yourself again and reassess what went wrong, reconcile your role in it and move on. 12 months works for me. YMMV. But more time off than necessary is not a bad thing.
The base of a relationship is trust and character, not money or the self-proclaimed "high value" status. Money is a great resource that is definitely important, but if money is the base on which your relationship is being built, the relationship has a high chance to crumble, since you will attract superficial women that want the money more than you, and when your pockets shake your relationship will shake as well.
Why not focus on a different approach? Drop the self-proclaimed status titles like alpha, high value, and so on and strive to become a man of character and strength, a man of discipline and self-control, a trustworthy man who puts his skills in the service of others and at the same time expect similar traits in the woman that you like. This might give you a chance for a genuine and great life-long relationship, based on trust, love and loyalty, a relationship in which you push each other to be great.
All the best to you, reader!
I'm 38 years old this time, im became single around 23 years already.. i can tell im not lonely being alone, im enjoying being alone, free from non sense people,stress, i can socialiaze to the one i know its real people not the plastic one. im kind to others. i will find things that makes me happy like hobby, reading books, gaining some new knowledge,skills etc. yeah,its really hard to find a partner this time especially many toxic women now adays. i can say, im still looking good guy cause i dont have smoking,alcohol no bad habits even drugs,gambling etc. even i sit or walking, believe me or not, i can attract younger women or younger girls on me even not intentional.. BUT. im the one will seperate after knowing that people is toxic. i can easily read body language, can analyze easily etc.. YES, sometimes i want to live with partner w children, but dont know why ddint happne, i try before but not easy for me,maybe i can find many negative the individual i like. ofcrse no one is perfect. maybe im too serious in life... when im still a child,i live being abuse by my father, other children bullying me, hard to trust anyone etc. cant defend anyone to protect me. thats why it affects my personality what i am now......
‘Price of not being high value is loneliness’
-Captain Sinbad 2022
Brother! This hit me hard. 👀
Personally I think getting a girl is easy but you gotta put the time and effort, and I rather put everything on myself than on a girl. Rather go vertical, through the lonliness, trial and tribulations than settle and go stagnant, living the normal lovey dovey life, till "oop it's over".
It’s always good to take a step back, focus on yourself and achieve your goals. This is a great channel. I’m glad I found it.
Captain sinbad hardcore glow up. Proud you were my first EVER self improvement RUclipsr. Even more proud I can come back and get an entirely unique and amazing experience. Much love brother.
I was in monk mode for like 6.5 years and I grew in every aspect of my life going from a super shy person to a person who is comfrtoable in their own skin, knows so much about taking care of their phys, mental, spiritual health, has career goals and plans, etc.
The only issue was that I almost totally neglected my social skills and talking to women at all, which let subconcious fear and anxiety grow.
Don't do that.
Dating is important for learning what you do and don't like, as well as for meeting people who you genuinely connect with.
Just don't put relationships and dating on a pedestal and you will be good.
Thanks, that really helped me. I was just out of a relationship and was searching for other women on dating apps. I stopped that cause I felt it was a waste of time and started to focus on myself. Your video was really a booster to me in this phase.
Crazy how I watched all the og captain sinbad videos and then they stopped showing up but we’re back baby woooo!
I found so much value in this. I’m going through a breakup and I’ve been trying so hard to replace instead of upgrading myself
You called your channel a part of the Manosphere and I couldn’t help but chuckle. I hope this is a space for everyone.
Today, I did cold approached and got rejected most of the times.I sometimes think this is a lost cause but when you mentioned that it takes courage to go out and talk to women, that's the only reason why I am doing it. To muster up the courage and do it. Girls won't get this but overtime just by doing this again, it is possible that you build more self respect and confidence within you. It was your voice in my ears when I was doing this. Thank you!
great points here appreciate the advice. I think great way to think about singleness as its a great time to "supercharge", as you said, your improvement.
Improving the Pitch vs. Improving the Offer, Great Discernment!
Honestly, having and keeping a girlfriend is too much work right now and I blame it on social media. Both women and men have too many options now and it makes it so hard to keep someone loyal to you.
Basically having a girlfriend for me would mean sacrificing the growth of my career or health.
Im almost 21, never had a girlfriend before
From NoFap videos to this. Your videos have helped me a lot, is was going through a redpill rage, your videos have given me a positive outlook on personal betterment. A guy from India.
Quality content bro! keep up the good work! We all appreciate you and your hard work you put into these videos and being kind enough to share your life journey wisdom you’ve collected along the way with us 🙏 I thank you for that 🤟
Mr Sinbad you are looking so much better! I Iove the progress! Keep up the amazing work!
Watching this video makes me so thankful I’m happily married for 15 years now. I did waste a lot of money at bars in my 20’s trying to find “love” and I’ll agree a lot of it was a big waste of money. That being said have fun while you are young. Nothing wrong with grinding but don’t miss out on fun experiences.
Finally Someone who said the Truth Out Loud 💯💯
Just the kind of video I needed. Greatness IS coming !
Spent a good bit of time dating throughout 2020 and 2021, but I think that ends here. I don't usually really pay attention to videos discussing "the male mindset" and grindset type of videos just due to how scammy they can feel, but the genuine advice and insight about the modern dating sphere really helped harden my resolve.
You stand out amongst many when it comes to advice, and your editing style is sincere. Thank you for being the one to pop into my recommended feed today.
Rather than delaying a relationship, why not grow together with your partner? Of course much of this is contextual, but I feel like we have children way too late in our current culture, and much of this is to do with being immature and financially dependent for too long. Perhaps this is a fundamentally different outlook from others, but I think something is severly wrong with being single for too long (generally speaking) Once we become adults, we only have about 30 - 40 years of good health, and many people are now having kids in their late 30s and 40s, which means they only spend about 20-30 years with their children when they have good health, and seeing grandchildren becomes a luxury. And by delaying families, we actually put off maturing in many ways. From my experience, my relationship has matured me massively and increased my drive to succeed in all facets of life. Relationships and children are good for personal development for those who have that growth mindset, which i'm sure you and many of your viewers do. You learn/develop key skills such as communication, empathy, time management, and many others which positively impact other aspects of life including your career. Having a family is in one way having your own set of problems which grounds you, encourages you to be the best person you can, and adds a depth of meaning to your life. Something my father, father in-law, and friends' fathers have told me is that the only person a father is happy to see succeed is their children, and that adds a new dimension to striving for success, and how you go about your life when you become a father.
Putting personal development to a side, being in a relationship is wonderful for your mental and sexual health. A good partner is the coolness of your eyes, utter tranquility. And children are something words can barely describe. And for those men who do focus on being high value such as yourself and many of your viewers, i'm sure they would also strive to be good partners & fathers too. That said, it probably boils down to what you're looklng for in a relationship at the end of the day. Are you looking for a long term companionship where you grow together, or just a hookup to get that sexual fix, and for those who are single, what they are doing with that time of theirs that is so beneficial that a relationship is not their priority.
And another issue which I think it's easy to not see when you're single is that relationships require a set of skills which you can only develop when in a relationship. So you can spend some time developing your career or yourself when you are single that's fine, but when you get into a relationship there's another ton of work to do anyway so putting relationships off doesn't really make sense unless you let your relationship prevent you from succeeding.
THIS. This is everything. Thank you for being the only sane person I’ve met in Sinbad comment section. Hope somewhat restored in humanity 💕
Very wise words. Agree with you that working on oneself in a vacuum affects those that want kids. However, I just think it is so hard to find a partner. I've put a lot of effort and thought I had a relationship with a woman I wanted to marry but she ended up leaving me for someone else and telling me she needed to take care of herself. With Covid affecting things, and myself being on a purpose of not drinking, partying, swiping, etc. I only have few and limited brief interactions with women through my interests nowadays. I would love a relationship to grow but just don't see it as a reliable possibility.
@@sswildlifevideos Agreed. Which is why it's a culture problem, not something individuals can solve on their own.
@@sswildlifevideos women will only stick if you are the best she can do, thats hypergamy for you. She will only stick through your growth phase if she views you as the absolute best she can do. Also she will make you take the safer choices in your career etc to serve her interests- this is not a negative thing when u look at it from her pov, but its bad for your potential. That is the point of this video. Work on your purpose instead of chasing a relationship. It has its downsides of loneliness etc but it also lets you make choices that are good for your long term success. Men are success objects afterall
That said i see the point of this comment. I agree for some people, including me, family is v imp. Having kids early is v imp. I myself had my son before 30. Has it made me take some sub optimal career choices - yes. So im hustling now in my forties. I have a career, debt free and have made some decent money and now work on my business alongside my career. Its not bad but everything else except family has been delayed by 10 yrs. You see where this is going? You must delay something and i made my decision to delay my success in order to have a family first. Of course if all i wanted was a career then i have everything i need but nope i must build my empire. So im keeping myself in top shape to delay aging and am working on my business. Im sure i will get to where i want
This video is really good for the youngsters out there it really does show how important focusing on you're self and doing you're best to become a better you thanks cap
Thank you Captain, as a 22 year old guy myself, I can truly say your advice is life changing.
I agree with this … can totally relate to it at the point of my life i am in … Thanks Sinbad 💯🔥
Everything you said is true. I have spend too much time and energy to find love or even make good friends.
But recently I have realised being single or even alone actually has lot of benefits, it is an opportunity to work on your health and projects.
Outstanding video. Wow. Definitely one of your best man, for real. Thank you!!
DMP #1 fan, I'm loving these types of videos, keep them coming cap!
I've been single all my life and life has been better as a man.
How old are u?
I completely agree.... especially never go for online dating....
Captain Sinbad always perfectly reading our minds. Thank you.
i've been able to relate very well to your last few videos. i'm glad you're getting the recognition in views.
As a guy that doesn't get that much attention from woman I would say I don't feel the same. Whatever attention I can get is welcomed. Haven't been intimate with a woman in years so whatever comes my way is a gift from God.
I'm a girl so not excactly your target audience, but you seem just like a really geniune person and I'm glad there are people like you in the manosphere who actively help improving mens life!
I have moderate levels of ADHD so self improvement and handling my own life has always been something I've really struggled but you are in a way inpirational and I might as well try again, so thank you!
I currently am single and almost every major victory I’ve had in my life happened when I was single I just didn’t have the same drive for my passions or same drive for success when I was in a relationship this doesn’t mean you can’t have this same drive if you’re currently in a relationship but it is definitely easier to focus on what you love and what is important most to you when you are not in a relationship you can focus on family, school, and your passions much better when not in a relationship, a relationship tethers you in a certain way and it’s good to note that it is okay if you are single one of the worst things you can do is jump into a relationship you are not ready for. Great video btw thanks buddy.
Great Video you touched on something I have been trying to figure out how to tell my sons when they do get to the later teen years. "Increase your offer to the world and not the pitch". That would have changed my life greatly. Great stuff Bro keep going!
This is what I had to hear. I’m 23 and dating simply hasn’t been fun for me. But I thought that if not now then never. So many of my school friends are married or in longer serious relationships.
But after a reality check through your video I understand now that there is no stress.
I also think that you are absolutely right. I love my self but in all honesty: I’m pretty boring. I spend the last 6 years studying. I haven’t traveled ever. I’m just now going for my first full time job. Dating in a few years will be pretty different. And I’m ready to try it when I’m ready.
I can't help but feel really frustrated about this. It just feels cruel that I have to put all that work into myself to have any value on the dating market. All I work on in my life (gym, career, social skills, ...) is ultimately geared towards finding love one day. I fear that I will get resentful when I finally get the attraction from women as a result of my personal development.
It might be difficult but it's better to accept the red pill that women cannot love you. Save yourself the potential pain of delusion.
You don’t have to, but it’s good to do, and you shouldn’t be doing it for girls.
Yes it’s unfair, but that is how it is. You should build a life that makes you happy, regardless of whether or not you attract a girl(s).
I imagine it would be nice to be handed all these options that girls have, but I’m sure it would feel much better knowing you earned your options instead of them just falling in your lap.
Personally, when I look in the mirror and see my gym progress, I feel amazing. I did that. I built that. And no one can take that away from me. Whether or not a girl is attracted to my progress is irrelevant, because building shit makes me feel much better than any validation I can receive from a girl.
You can do these things to get girls, there’s nothing wrong with that. But you should know that things like going to the gym, working on social skills, grooming yourself, etc make you a better person overall, which helps you in much more than just getting girls (which should be a nice bonus, a cherry on top if you will).
Good luck man. I’m on the same path that you are.
Although it is true that women have to put in little to no effort for value in the dating market by the time they turn 18 (youth and beauty), the fact of the matter is that their value is not sustainable in the long term. you see, everything comes at a cost. Even though women have the world at their fingertips at an early age, after 22 their value slowly starts to decline and once they hit 30 they have the same level of value as most men in their late teens and early twenties and are often treated in the same way by the opposite sex (unattractive and unwanted). On the opposite end of the spectrum, Although a man must earn his value, once he reaches a certain level due to the assets (money, fitness, etc.) he's acquired over they years (so long as his assets remain intact), he can sustain his high position in the dating market for years to come. Some would even argue that men are the ones with the upper hand in the dating market because even if a women were to spend years of her life working towards obtaining assets and wealth, her value still decreases as she ages.
Well put man. Women today should be using their value to lock down a high quality guy who has built a lot of value, but this whole “sexual liberation” thing is causing them to squander their best years on pointless flings and lower their value even more.
@@smallwall4525 not all of us.. some of us are independent, work hard on ourselves too and want better quality men.
I'll be honest, I have men DM me on Instagram and Facebook constantly but if they don't actually want to get to know me and just want to a fling, that's not my thing.
I've never once met up with any of them and I don't flaunt my body online because I have more respect for myself than that and hoping someone will appreciate that.
There are a few who seemed genuine but they were a MESS and I don't judge but I've had too many guys take advantage of me and I can't do that to myself anymore.
Haven't been on a date in 8 years because I'm tired of the games and getting used by people I've invested my heart and soul into. I'm way more guarded now.
Your channel is too good man, took the first step in making a channel and hopefully I can follow in your footsteps
Great video as always, the part on dating apps really spoke to me. Downloaded your app, looking forward to seeing what it’s like!
It always drives me crazyy when reminding myself again that even avarage 3/10 women despite doing 1000x less than men, always have 1000x more options than avarage Chad being on his grind for years
I'm pursuing flight training with an airline right now, and it's a very intense, focused period of my life. I could resonate with a lot of what you said about going monk mode. Feels good to hear that these 12 hour work days will eventually add up to something bigger :)
Keep up the amazing work, Nikhil
Very good points, proud of you and you channel I just discovered! You serve as my inspiration, confirmation and solidification (bla!). Cheers to what's ahead!
There is the Sinbaad I like. Raw and to the point
Thank you Nickhill! I really felt the video. I´m going through a career change from engineering to data science, and as a human I feel lonely sometimes. But as you said, there is clearly a pleasure in being alone and commited to what you like, creating a more fulfilling future and adding value to your person, so the things you "urge" to have right now, will come easily and in abundance in the next years.
You motivated me to sink in and enjoy that solitude pleasure, instead of being pulled by those human needs. Thanks again!
I'm still a teen (17 years) and I found a girl that's like me and has the same goals as me. We are together for almost 4 months and by the way we talk and speak, we'll be together a VERYY long time. We meet each other's parents already which is a very big step. We have in our relationship a thing that is missing in 90% of other ones and it is honesty and trust. No lies, no games. In our past, we encountered only toxic people so we know how it is to suffer. (I had 2 toxic gf in the past that almost made me to not want to date again and she had toxic friends and lived in a toxic environment.) I'm more mature for my age and therefore I can speak with girls at the same age or older. (my grades went downhill but I developed my character, went to the gym, started a youtube channel (now is dead lol), worked at my family bussines and I never smoked or drank till I got "dead", only 1-2 beers at most at some parties). I was a nerd in the past, and now I need to get very good grades again cuz this girl is very smart
Love this one man. I'm from Nairobi Kenya. I'm 31 and it's tough. The loneliness but it's not worth it being rejected all the time because I don't have much to bring to the table, yet. Thanks! 🙏🏿
I really love you for this because i really needed to listen to this rn. Greatness is coming king 👑💖
I would say go on a period of a real monk mode - take time to dive deep into spirituality and figuring out your false beliefs and faulty programs in your brain.
You realize that you don’t have to do anything, to judge yourself, to chase anything aka lose everything to realize you are free to do anything.
Create whatever you want in your life or don’t. At this point your mind is free. You can create material wealth, physical abilities, relationships. But you do it from Truth perspective, without attaching desires, without resistance, without lack, without ego.
They biggest lie is that you have to get somewhere or be someone to be content, fulfilled and happy.
For me trying to balance expanding my social skills and meeting girls while focusing on my purpose (my channel, fitness, school and mental clarity) is the hardest struggle bc my mindset is completely different for both. I guess that’s just something I need to keep working on though
You’re young. You’re supposed to make memories with people your age. Of course it’s going to be tough. INTIMACY is a NEED. Just like HUNGER is a need. Try not eating for three years and see what happens
Photoshoots getting better and better with nice sceneries, and a few pixelated shadows above the tv, keep up!
What you said really eases my anxiety. Thank you so much!
Bro jumped on the Hamza wave