The Reasons Millenials and Gen Z QUIT FlyLady
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- Опубликовано: 5 авг 2024
- The 3 biggest Reasons Millenials and Gen Z QUIT the FlyLady Cleaning Method before giving it a real shot is that the beginning is not welcoming to a newbie.
00:00 Why Young Moms quit the FlyLady
00:37 Revelation from the UFYH book
01:18 Starting the FlyLady Cleaning System is too complicated
02:35 How long it takes to start the FlyLady
02:48 The reason I quit FlyLady
03:31I failed FlyLady
0:4:30 Learning Styles have changed but has the FlyLady
05:49 What are the best FlyLady RUclips channels?
06:09 The whole FlyLady System has too many moving parts
07:40 Why are FlyLady followers (FlyBabies) so loyal?
I fell in love with the FlyLady cleaning system but it took failing 3 times to finally get it!
What causes us to bail on a cleaning system and why? First of all, millennials and Gen Z feel like the website is busy and out of date. While there is a LOT of great information, it is a bit like reading an Encyclopedia for answers...who wants to do that?
Add to the chaos of finding starting instructions, and there are 31 days of Baby Steps to even get going. For generations used to instant access, a plan that takes a full month to get even the basics is sure to make them quit. Another reason Millenials and Gen Z would quit is that there are a lot of cutsie words and phrases that only insiders know about.
Plus, most millennials are video or audio learners and not book learners. Which one would Gen Z choose...5 pages of old school typewritten notes or a 7-minute video with all of the basics and examples?
Overall, many young moms feel that the entire FlyLady system has too many rules, lists, and judgments for them. What is an amazing cleaning system is tossed aside because of the old-fashioned basis that it is presented. Is there a modern FlyLady? I have researched all of the top cleaning systems and while the FlyLady is not the easiest for beginners, it is still the basis I chose for a complete solution to maintaining my home. My suggestion is that if the FlyLady seems too old school, check out some of the other RUclipsrs who use and teach the FlyLady system in a more direct way.
Mentioned or shown in video: @TheMinimalMom @Clutterbug @DianeinDenmark @clean_mama
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I am hoping and praying that we can turn the tide about the FlyLady cleaning system. Oh, I almost forgot to welcome Amy, Gaynell, and Brandi to the Messy Bun Club! This week we had a guided clean with me in Zone 3. If you need or want a little more community, extra weekly guided cleaning videos, fun challenges, and private online chats to really get focused and see progress be sure to come to check it out! Join me on Patreon patreon.com/TodaywithTerriK but no matter what I will be here with you every week cheering you on!
Although it is complicated and definitely not easily understood, I feel like it is still an amazing system. However, if you just cannot deal with the FlyLady website or videos, there are options.
1. Follow other RUclipsrs who teach FlyLady in a more approachable way (like me).
2. Try one of the other cleaning routines--I would say The Organised Mum Method would be a great place to start ruclips.net/video/dp4Eewu5mT0/видео.html
3. Just start somewhere! Pick a few key tasks that would make you happier with your house...no dirty dishes, dealing with laundry, keeping the living room picked up, whatever. Pick a few things and each day spend 5-15 min working on each one. I recommend spreading them out throughout the day so they don't feel so big. Example: Morning start a load of laundry, Afternoon flip laundry and then fold/put away. After dinner close down the kitchen (do dishes and start dishwasher, wipe counters, put things away). At bedtime do a 5 min tidy of the living room before turning off the lights.
This week has been a whirlwind! The kids are all back from vacation so the dirty dishes and laundry are in full force. My oldest daughter is ready to pop out baby #2 so I am trying to get ahead as much as possible so that I can help her in July which lifts my heart. I will be posting cute baby pics very soon!!!
I have recently gotten a few suggestions: a video about my self-care, a video reviewing S.H.E., more weekly plan videos, and going back to the basics. What would you like first? This is your online cleaning home so I need your vote! Bless you all and thank you for spending a few minutes with me today.
Terri
Yes please!-self care..specifically your manicure routine. Your nails always look so great and I’ve been struggling with this forever (almost 50 yrs. old)! Thanks for all you do. Love your channel; you are doing a great job! ❤
I'm an older millenial and I love flylady. I would say she offers a housekeeping system more than a cleaning system. She has helped restore sanity and peace to my home. It took a long time (years) to get the hang of her but the reason it finally stuck with me was the emails. I needed the attitude adjustment and the "flywashing" as she calls it. Until my attitude and stinking thinking changed I couldn't get anywhere in accepting the resposibility for my home. I never minded her website. There is a lot there but I enjoyed browsing. I love her and her chit chatty way. She is like the mother I needed to have. I came from a rather dysfuntional home life and I didn't know how to gently create a peaceful home but it takes A LOT more than a cleaning list and she gave that to me and I will always be grateful to her.
Oh what you are saying is sooo good! I find her like a family member mentoring with love. I’m really glad she landed like that will you. Praying more and more find her and embrace the whole life approach to cleaning!
This is worded exactly the way I feel too! Been using so many parts of her teachings in my life. She doesn't just give you a calendar of house cleaning tasks. She changes your heart, with God's help! 🙏
Same here! I found FLYLady when I was at my end, overwhelmed and depressed. I had 4 boys, between 5yrs and 15yrs old. She saved my sanity too, and changed my life as a mom and homemaker (with God’s help, too). I think the reason it stuck with me is because I was so desperate to try anything and I literally spent hours in the beginning reading ALL those emails (the reminder ones - I especially appreciated her "scolding" to go drink water, and also the check your laundry one!). It may have been a slow beginning for me to lay the foundation she taught. But I took it seriously and paid the price. It took two years for me to finally get my WHOLE HOUSE untangled and put together rightly. After that, every game had its piece, every item had its home, clutter was gone, and I was finally FLYing (Finally Loving Myself)! To anyone who asks, I tell them about her. Although I would always wonder if they had it in them to persevere through her mentoring. You have to be ready. There are no quick fixes in life - if you truly want or need change. So if you are reading this and need an attitude adjustment then she’s your gal! It is WORTH IT! ❤
I got started by reading Sink Reflections. I think the book really breaks it down well and sort of eases you in. I feel like the other systems are great but mainly focused on cleaning, whereas Flylady is Adulting 101. It's a whole life management system that will have you paying bills on time, menu planning, getting errands done, etc. in addition to cleaning.
After failing so many times, I bought the book and the ultimate pack and was determined to make it work. I’ve been a huge fan every since!
@@TodaywithTerriK I love that! I think the book is a lot easier than the website or even the babysteps. Once a person has the basics down, it's easier to go on the website and find what you need. I tried Clean Mama and Oeganised Mum and I love them! But I need more than just a cleaning routine. The basic weekly plan really helps me organize my entire life. The way she condenses the cleaning to one day frees up time for all the other things that need doing. I really enjoy your videos. It's fun to hear your take on all the different systems.
I love the flylady and her system. Her system doesn’t have to be hard. She has a very beautiful and well organized APP. Download and follow it. Adjust it to your needs. Start out slowly, by focusing on daily routines first. After mastering those then add the weekly routines. After you master that add the zone cleaning. Just by doing the daily and weekly routines you will see a very significant change in your home and your stress levels. Her book SINK REFLECTIONS really helped me make some attitude adjustments about perfectionism. I am so much more relaxed now. My house looks and feels a lot more clean and inviting. It’s not perfect and that is perfectly alright. 😊
I couldn't agree with you more. My life is transformed by the habits the FlyLady helped me build. I struggled just using the website, but when I got the book and the app it started working significantly better for me. Imperfectly clean is still clean...
I'm a single mom of 3 and work full time and I've tried Flylady, Clean Mama, and The Organized Mum. Honestly any system that encourages daily habits of tidying up and staying on top of things like laundry, dishes, and decluttering is helpful. I like the weekly zone cleaning with Flylady because it feels less overwhelming and I know if I don't get a lot done in a zone there's always next month.
Being a single mom brings a whole different perspective to life. I raised my two alone from 11-grown. The stress of the finances, the house, work, and a mom can bring you down but there is magic in the routines. My desperation is what brought me to trying the FlyLady that first time and it took some time but it finally started to work and I felt more in control for the first time in my life. My heart is with you. How can I help?
I bought my dream home last year. I can not imagine my life without the FlyLady system. I always go back to the basics when I feel overwhelmed. Even on a bad day when I’m exhausted and my house is in complete chaos my one nonnegotiable daily cleaning routine is having a immaculate kitchen when I go to bed💪 It has been engrained into me since starting the FlyLady system almost 20 years ago.
Congrats on the house! I’m the same, my nonnegotiables are a clean kitchen and made bed. I wish my daughter could fall in love with it because I am so much happier since finding it!
Yeah. For someone who never had any direction, the flylady has been a game changer. Do i still do everything she suggests. No. But its a great place to start for anyone who is struggling to start.
The flylady system absoulutely works, if you JUST GET THE BOOK. The website and email list are an absolute shambles. I have adhd, and the website, and mailing list sent me into an absolute tailspin. JUST GET THE BOOK, and stick with that, IT WILL change your life. Trust me. 😊 I have literally orderes a brand new copy for my adhd daugter, for when she moves out of home. It works, but keep it simple. ❤
Such good advice!
I got the book. Have tried fly lady like 4 times. About to try again. We’ll see. 😅. I should note that my house nor my life is in shambles. Everything’s pretty clean and tidy. I just might be a clean routine Hopper….😂😂😂
Diane in Denmark is the one that helped me understand flylady and make it stick. She used the flylady terminology, but also explained what it all meant in plain english, and broke it all down in very digestible ways. And she's just so down to earth and motivating.
I just found your channel, your 31 baby steps printable is the ideal visual. Wish I'd had that years ago. I have heard others complain about the 'non cleaning' aspect of flylady and they are discouraged with how slowly you get into it, but I think slow and steady is key to create real sustainable lifelong change and avoiding burn out that leads to quiting. And I think those with ADHD or depression or just real overwhelm need the slow pace to really ensure wins. People wanna sprint and then quit. I know I did. Great video, I think you highlighted the exact concerns many people have with flylady and I'm glad you offered alternatives.
Thank you so much. I love the Flylady but nothing is 100% perfect for everyone. I’m so happy it comes across well!
yes, slow and steady helps those of us who have been in such a rut for so long that we need several "training sessions" to keep us on track. I often neglected myself but had a clean kitchen, now I have that balance between self-care and housework.
Diane in Denmark is the best!!! Life changing for me ❤️
I love the Flylady system and have been successfully using it for 6 years. It was the only cleaning system that worked for me. Her website is crazy but with her website and watching videos from various RUclips creators about her system I was able to make it my own. I focused on the routines first for a couple weeks, then added her daily focus and did both for a couple more weeks. Lastly I added in 1 hour of weekly zone work, in increments of 15 minutes a day for 4 days a week or 1 hour once a week. This helped keep her system from feeling so overwhelming. I hope everyone finds the peace I've found in whatever cleaning program they choose. Thanks for the great videos!
Sounds like you are working it. That is they way I teach it. It was the only way I could learn and do it all.
I'm glad her system works for so many but it's wild when I hear people say it took a year to get her system down. I was turned off after she had given the tip to dress all the way to your shoes - to get you motivated to start- (the tip isn't what turned me off, but the following situation is what turned me off) and someone emailed to ask if it was ok to not wear your shoes, they are from a culture where you do not wear shoes in your home. Flylady absolutely went off into a huge rant which was really leaning into being mean to that specific person, at least she didn't name them, and also mean to Asian and Muslim cultures. She could have easily just said "try wearing a pair of house slippers or some cute socks you wear just while cleaning".
Admittedly I haven't really done her method because I work irregular hours and I always wanted my kids to help as age-appropriately as possible. But I know a lot of people struggle with their homes or didn't have good examples of cleaning, so at least she has helped some people.
Thank you for your honesty. I agree that culturally this is very different. My goal is to encourage anyone struggling to find a routine to just start one ( no matter which one you chose) as a base and then customize it to truly fit your life. No one plan works in all situations. The right plan is the one that works for you.
@@TodaywithTerriK exactly. As my life has changed, I've had to start and restart and restructure my routines. Also, as I've been able to learn what works for me and what doesn't it has really released a lot of pressure that I had previously placed upon myself.
I've been doing her system since 2004. Reading her book Sink Reflections is probably the best way to get a grasp of her system. While it took me awhile to read through things on the website at the time, which was different back then, it wasn't at all complicated once I read more and got the hang of it and it became more familiar. There's really 3 main parts, and they are all simple unless we complicate it with perfectionism. Daily routines, weekly home blessing and zone. I've tried other systems, and I always go back to FlyLady.
There tends to be much more of wanting instant everything now days, and perhaps that plays a part in why people quit many things, not just FlyLady.
I agree 100%. I got lost in the website but when I got the book it all made sense. The app is great too. However, you still have to actually do the work every day. That is the thing people who never want to clean are running from. I was ready to do better and just needed to learn how. They will come back when they are ready.
The paperback book is TEN times better than the website
I completely agree!
I randomly downloaded her app because it was free, and I was looking for something to help me. It’s actually quite well organized and easy to edit and get going with.
I really enjoyed it when I was looking for something quick and easy to track!
When I was younger and working I just cleaned the whole house on Saturday morning and did all the laundry on Monday night. I wish I could do that now but I'm older so I have to do a little at a time or I'd be in traction. 😂
I certainly have to pace myself more now!
Im now 60 I've never been able to connect with the fly lady system.
I recently found clean mama and her system is easier to work around my lifestyle - including working and chronic health conditions.
There is a lot that I liked about Clean Mama and TOMM. They are significantly easier to follow.
I remember when I was single without animals or children. Cleaning my house was as easy as 1, 2, 3, maybe 20 minutes and done. Lol
Wonder if an empty nest goes back to that?
@@TodaywithTerriK Probably if you move with no forwarding address? lol
Yup. Went to the website and immediately cringed, but I decided to give it a shot. One week in a felt overwhelmed and depressed.
I made my own system combining what methods that worked best for us and I’m much happier.
My house will never be pristine. But it’s fairly organized and peaceful.
Good job. I love how Dana K White calls it your clutter threshold. Every is good at a different level. We need to find our own happy place…that we can maintain.
When I applied Fly Lady's steps and tweaked them to make sense for me and my family. They work for me!
Congrats! It really is an amazing program.
Thanks for another brilliant video. So true, I have also found Flylady way too complicated and overwhelming (and failed several times). I'm going to follow your 10 Babysteps. You are an inspiration to us all. Thank you x
I’m so happy it landed the right way to help. It works but it takes work. A rocket is hard to take off and easy to guide, flylady is the same!
I'm a Gen Xer. I tried the FlyLady when my kids were young. I felt like all I ever did was clean. Routines 2 or 3 times a day that include cleaning. Hot spots and room rescues and taking care of 5 kids under the age of 6. In theory, I like the concepts. I read the book and tried the website/emails before (or early in) her selling products days. I don't ever recommend the website but the book is good.
Right now, I'm trying to find a way to stay on top of all the housework, decluttering, deep cleaning (because it's so gross), and teenagers that don't do their part. Most important is my autoimmune illnesses and trying to find a way to do it all when I can maybe do 10 minutes one to three times a day.
I failed at FlyLady a bunch until it finally clicked. First of all, 5 kids that close in age is 100% going to be a trial for anyone so do not beat yourself up. With teens, I found some tough love is the only way to get them to help. For my own, I had a place where the car keys had to stay. If they did not do the basics that I needed them to do, I took their keys and they could not get them back until it was done. At first, there was a lot of debate and negotiating, but finally, they realized that it is simpler to just do the work. Now, my solution may not work for you because I only had to battle two teens at a time. I am sure they can undermine your authority when there are so many. If you ever want to jump on a call and brainstorm some things to try, reach out over on Patreon or the Facebook group! I am praying for your situation!
Oh I feel your pain. I have 5 kids between the ages of 7 and 17 and it is HARD work getting them to do a thing. I have autoimmune diseases too and every day feels as though I’m swimming against the tide. I’ve tried to pick FL up about 5-6 times and it sticks until I have a relapse that puts me in bed for a month. Then my husband and kids muddle through and when I’m well enough to tackle housework I have to start from the bottom of the mountain again. It is truly exhausting. 2024 is my year for consistency. The FL system will be pinned up on the wall so everyone can see it and tick it off each day, the house is no longer just MY responsibility. I’m too tired and too unwell to do it all myself. I wish you luck and am sending you gentle hugs from the UK.
Great video. You’re very much in touch with what we are thinking. But i love Flylady. Im very grateful to have found this routine! I tell everyone about it.
It seriously changed my life!
Just subscribed. Down the road from you in West TN! I agree completely. Many years ago I read Flylady’s book & have tried off & on to implement her system. It is complicated, so I’ve just done what I could, but over time I understand it better. You just have to make adaptations for your own situation & personality.
Welcome aboard, neighbor! She is tough but has the most inclusive program I’ve found so far.
I'm a new subscriber and I'm really enjoying your content! I have gone on and off flylady for years and there are two things in the system I just can't get the hang of: the weekly home blessing and the swish and swipe. I can't complete enough of the dusting, mopping and vacuuming at 10 minutes each and it leaves me feeling dissatisfied. Since I'm definitely not a morning person, I don't give myself enough time for the swish and swipe and end up doing the whole bathroom once a week. I love the 2 minute hotspot, 5 minute room rescue and 27 fling boogies. Very fun and motivating!
Welcome to the family! It is hard to get things done in ten minutes for sure. Dusting goes a little faster with a feather duster and not trying to moves things. I used to be bothered by not fully dusting but now I see it’s not polishing it’s a light dust. 2 different things.
Dana K. White is simply the best decluttering and cleaning advisor ever. I read her book and I listen to her podcast and she’s the best
I totally agree!
I agree fully, its so overwhelming you have to find youtube videos to break it down but other systems just dont keep my house clean, they will miss off basic things like changing your sheets.
Exactly! I like parts of other routines but they don’t help me stay as organized with life like she does.
Fly lady Cat gets to the point and is easier to follow. Her videos are great!
She is great. Sorry that I’m not your cup of tea.
@@TodaywithTerriK Maybe she meant Fly Lady Cat was easier than straight-up Fly Lady? IDK.
I love the system but stopped because she is a conspiracy theorist. It made me sad.
I’m sorry it deterred you.
SAME! That plus everything outlined in this video. Thanks @TodayWithTerryK for this very astute analysis!
@@ObiMomKenobi13 Finally! Someone mentions the elephant in the room. The daily videos devolved into rants and bible sessions 🙁
I agree it can be very overwhelming, I learned most from Fly lady Kat in RUclips. It took about a year for me to get it down, and how I'll use it forever. I help run a cleaning group where this system is followed, I just break down the basics for that day for folks to follow.
That is so cool. I joined her Patreon but had to quit a few months ago. I would love to chat more about your cleaning group if you would like to do a zoom call or something!
Hi there sweetie pie hope you are well I learnt from my Mum how to clean and keep a tidy home I am organised person and I try to show my daughters love from Eugenie your friend xxx 🏡💓🦋
Hi Eugenie! Good to hear from you.
I love flylady. I disagree that she fails to connect with people. Simply put; not everything is for everyone.
I love the FlyLady too. I truly want everyone to fall in love with her program like I have. Sadly too many don't give it a real chance. I think there are a few small things like updating her website that would possibly help them get over the hump. I am hoping and praying that my transparency will inspire a few people to take a second look at her system.
I’m not a millenial by 2 months 😅 and Flylady is sooo old fashion in the way it presents itself it’s hard to enjoy ! The website is ugly, full of info in odd places, it needs a revamp ! The logo is so old… the emails are so full of info I don’t even want to read them ! As for wearing shoes inside my house, it’s a big no for like half of the world ! I like the system and I’m sure it works but I can’t relate to it at all ! Clean Mama knows how to market its method a lot better, even though I think the method isn’t as good as Flylady’s. You are right, Flylady isn’t relatable. I never ever watch her videos or go on her website, I watch channels like you or that akward mum, they are much more relatable, A slob comes clean was just so great for beginners ! As much as I love Diane in Denmark, I can’t relate to her, I’m in a totally different season of life. The flylady method needs representatives from all ages and season of life… and a brand new website for sure ! 😉
I agree so much. I'd love to work with FlyLady to update a really amazing system!
I am an elder millennial and I just started fly lady. I only downloaded the app. I never went to the website so I have no idea about the baby steps but I started the fly lady routines and zones and home. Blessings based on the app and that is it. I had already done about a months worth of decluttering so if decluttering is on the baby steps, I already did it. I would recommend skipping that website because it sounds too cuckoo for me, but the app is great.
Sounds like you are a success story. Thank you for watching.
Wow, it's really not that difficult. My favorite thing I took away from her is having a shiny sink at night, getting fully dressed to shoes first thing and the 15 minute timer cleanings.
I ❤️ shiny sink and made bed!
The flylady system saved my life and saved me from feeling like a failure. Nothing is for everyone. If it didn't work for you thats fine, that doesnt mean anythings wrong with it. It just didn't fit you.
I agree. It truly changed my life but too many are not sticking with it long enough to find the blessing. Flylady will always be near and dear to my heart!
Yes, HundoP the website is a quagmire, her videos are very useful but during the pandemic there was a lot of crying, her music is painful (the kid stuff is cute. The woman singing is think “Old White People at Church”), but it has changed my life. It slays my ADD. I make my appointments and eat dinners I made. The toilets are always clean and don’t smell like pee. I’m 54.
Well said. It works.
I like the fly lady system, but really if you look at her website you don't know how fast to run away, it is so chaotic, I totally got lost in it. But there are better resources on youtube that explain it very clearly. Another thing about fly lady, at least for me is that you need to tayler it a little to your own needs. And also something, like shine your zinc I find a bit unnecessary, I don't do that, instead I translated it for myself into ""do every evening all the dishes". If the dishes are done all fine with me, what do I care if the zinc is shining or not. Also, that dress-up to shoes, I skipped that, I never wear shoes indoors. In that way, there are more things, where I would get totally lost with themes she has for every day, weeks and months, but when you skip that, so only a morning, and evening routine, a weekly quick clean (the home blessing) and the zone cleaning, then I find it quite a doable system. Also then still with morning and evening routines, it's a matter of adapting them to your own personal situations as with the weekly home blessings and the deep cleaning. In other words, how I see it, it's an interesting blueprint, but only works if you are able to make your own workable version of it. Or even explore different cleaning systems, organized mama, clean mamma (whatever they are called) and mix and match the routine to something that works.
I love how you call the flylady your blueprint! It’s so true. You get to read and interpret it to work for you and your family. I live and breathe by my routines but they are much simpler than the 31 baby steps. I keep it simple so I know I’ll stick to it. I add in an extra step off and on to try to be healthier but it’s all about finding your balance! Thank you z
Fly lady app is awesome.
Easiest way to get started for sure!
The website is waaaaaay to much!
I hope she gets a designer to redo it asap!
Yes, A lot of truth in this video.
Thank you!
Why don't we ever see Fly Lady actually doing the routine?🤔
Great question. Honestly, I think it is because it takes a lot of work and learning know to lighting, filming, and editing and she is not very techy. I average 2-3 hours of filming for a 7-10 min video and then 5 hours to edit it. She is live streaming more than filming. I have invested a ton of time time and money to learn how to do this but it is because times are different and you have to be a good editor to grow from scratch these days. She did all of the hard work years ago writing the books and developing the plan which I am in awe of and not sure I could do.
Yay Diane in Denmark!!!
She’s so cute!
Wow. Why even make this video. If you don't like it, don't use it. You don't have to complain. I'm 39 and I love flylady. You can promote one and still not hate on another. I don't get it.
I am assuming that you have not watched many of my videos. I have been using the FlyLady since 2008 and am a big fan. That being said, there are a few small things that make it hard for a large majority of people to get on board with FlyLady. They are missing out on a wonderful program. I would love to see her get a small update to bring her amazing program to be more current and connect with even more people. I regularly preach that FlyLady is my foundation and my mentor but if there are parts of her program holding you back, customize it to fit your life. Nothing is 100% perfect for everyone. You may have taken my comments out of context. I am sorry I was not clearer.
I dropped her when she went political. There are plenty of other systems out there.
I know a lot of people who did too.
Older Gen Z here! I love love love Flylady’s routine. I was introduced to the system via ThatAwkwardMom. I also have ADHD and my work schedule changes from week to week, which makes it difficult. I honestly rarely visit the website. I completely customized my zones, AM/PM routines, and daily focuses. I usually have one day off in the middle of the week, so whatever day that is ends up being my Errand Day, which means my daily focuses change weekly! But it works well for me.
If you’re younger/working I cannot recommend ENOUGH: 1) viewing the system as framework versus a routine you just pick up and use, you HAVE to pare things down. My morning routine is only 4 things.
2) have a daily focus that’s literally letting yourself have a full rest day. Once I week I do NOTHING!
Love Ariel and agree everybody needs a rest day.