Jobs 4 Kids
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 14 мар 2023
- Green rivers, project willow, child labor, weed, mushrooms, secesion, and Mitch McConnell.
---Patreon---
Do you want early access to my content and other benefits?
Sign up at / ben_brainard for as little as $3 a month!
---Next Shows---
3/16 - Austin, TX - Cap City Comedy Club
3/23 - Ontario, CA - Improv
4/13 - San Jose, CA - Improv
5/7 - Irvine, CA - Improv
5/11 - Oxnard, CA - Levity Live
5/14 - Denver, CO - Improv
5/17 - Kansas City, MO - Improv
5/21 - St. Louis, MO - Helium
5/23 - Fort Wayne, IN - Summit City Comedy Club
5/25 - Louisville, KY - Louisville Comedy Club
5/28 - Liberty Township (Cincinnati,) OH - Funny Bone
5/30 - Indianapolis, IN - Helium
5/31 - Columbus, OH - Funny Bone
---Links---
Shows and Tickets: www.benbrainard.com/shows
Email List: www.benbrainard.com/sign-up
Booking: www.benbrainard.com/contact
Store: www.benbrainard.com/store
RUclips: / ben_brainard
Facebook: / comedianbenbrainard
Twitter: / ben_brainard
Instagram: / ben_brainard
TikTok: / ben_brainard
Discord: / discord Приколы
California should have doubled down.
"I wish him the love, kindness and support he gave everyone else."
THIS
Thoughts and prayers.
This is now my headcanon for how this ended.
Yeah california should have,
Kentucky: "Mitch McConnell fell and is in the hospital"
California: And nothing of value will be lost"
Yes!
As a Kentuckian, the 'what, does he need help flipping over?' absolutely slayed me.
I know, me too!
As a Californian, I thought of the same thing. He looks like a turtle.
Imagine scamming
As a "Kentuckianan"(southern Indianan) we were all thinking it...
Also, Ben will be in Louisville at the comedy club May 25th! Just saying...
"Does he need help flipping back over?" That was a turtle-y insensitive joke, California. I mean, sure he's a shell out but jokes aren't appropriate right now. Just put a tera-pin in it for later.
🤣. He's dished out enough misery to the rest of us to earn a little sarcasm from afar, which isn't gonna frickin' hurt so much as his heartless feelings with his top shelf healthcare 🙄. I'm both eager and terrified to see what happens when he's finally removed from the political landscape o.0
I think you need to *scale* back on the puns
@@t-1156 Scute over, I want more 😆
Don't get snappy. If there is anything the past has tortoise is that we need to put some feelings behind us.
I usually hate puns, but I got to give respect for these.
As someone who works in Chicago, that river is ALWAYS green. They just made it a neon green for a few days.
They just make a prettier green rather than pond scum green!
As green as our pickle relish.
@@kathrynredmond5294and normally it's about as green as regular pickles.
The spontaneous approval of project will just caught me off guard for some reason
It's the government. You'd probably be surprised about what they try to approve, whenever they think nobody's looking.
Actually it’s not the typical green you would find in stores. It is a kind of green that doesn’t harm the river wildlife and biodegrades over time
Sadly, the thinking is that the courts were going to force this to go through no matter what, so there was only so much the Federal Government can do.
My disappointment that there wasn't a Kars 4 Kids joke in this skit is immeasurable
Is your day also ruined?
WHY? It has absolutely nothing to do with anyting AND DEFINITELY NOT anything to do with Saint Patrick's Day! TAKE IT FROM A LITTLE PERSON! YEAH~I AM 4 FEET AND 10 INCHES TALL, I'M A LITTLE PERSON AND THIS IS A HOLIDAY I'M CELEBRATED! SOOOO... BACK OFF WITH YOUR nonsense over a car commercial that has nothing even to do with the culture of the holiday. Consumerism MUCH? WOW! #NEWYORKGenXBIKERLady
Shut up
It's in the title.
@@christinegelabert1651 Holy shit. It's a charity. Kars 4 Kids is a charity. Jesus, drink some water or something.
I love how literally none of them have moral highground over each other at this point
Yeah, my favorite was Florida for a while, and then the whole education debacle happened. Too bad that reality has to affect my comedy intake.
New Mexico does!
....Not that anyone cares.
but they just expanded rights for trans people and thus made me moving here the best fucking decision of my life. Plus they're all on board with the NgVLA which I'm directly working on.
@@StormsandSaugeye Nice! I've been wanting to go there too and go to UNM to hopefully get in the microprocessor business. How's work going?
Was kinda hoping new york would start laughing evily at calis turtle joke but that would require new york to feel happiness.
KY: “And to think you were supposed to be the ‘nice one’”.
What CA could’ve said: “Who told you that?”
I just want jacksepticeye to jump in and say "St PADDY'S Day!"
That would be cool
Right. St. Patty's day would be St. Patricia's day.
YES!!!
YEAH HSKSHD ITS PADDY NOT PATTY
THATS WHAT I SAID!!! also the fact they didn’t bring mass or especially any other new england states on it either too was sad, considering the Irish immigrant population there would have been pissed
Fun fact the dye they use in the Chicago River is an orange vegetable dye, but they won’t disclose the recipe because it is a “secret”.
Massachusetts saying "Revolution " got me on the floor laughing. I am from RI. So that is so many levels of funny.
Totally agree. As someone originally from Mass, I lost it. Love Ben’s MA. My second fav!
As somebody from PA, I, too, laughed
As a Californian, thank you for pointing out how ticked off we are about the Willow Project being approved!
@BenBrainard341oh my god
@BenBrainard341stop!
@@anniealvord65 Yeah that bot is fucking annoying. I wish we had another option besides "mark the spam as spam and hope RUclips cracks down on the bots (which they won't)". Sigh
@@terriblefate4232 oof
Hello from my section of SoCal,
We could care less if it gets the gas prices down
As a former Disney College Program participant that joke hit hard
That turtle joke was solid. I laughed:)
I learn more about current events from the news from Ben than any media outlets.
That is tragic.
Maybe up your game, watch Steven Colbert's show. His news is also timely. (Sarcasm alert)
Ben and Philly D for me
Ben and The Lakota Law Project cover more than my news stations.
Because most of the time unless it's actual big national news you're not going to hear this stuff unless you live in the area. So don't feel too bad
It is ironic that I always see at least 1 Asian kid helping out at the restaurant while doing homework. One parent said she lets her son (age 7) to ring up orders on the computer [at times] to improve his counting and math.
My sons have a take out place. One grandson, accidentally, started occasionally working the order window when he was in kindergarten ! The screen was a touch, picture display and he was already a wiz on a regular computer. Didn't collect payments or make change. (They are strictly cash so the adult men like to handle that at the pickup window.) He was sitting on a stool, waiting for his mother and just started taking orders. After he made $20 in tips that afternoon he begged to keep working. (He was a gorgeous kid with a killer smile.) 16 now and still a workaholic - with a car ! Edit to add: We are NOT Asian - ARE "mostly Scandinavian".
So, IDK what it's like from state to state, but federally, if your parent is the owner, they pretty much exempt you from child labor laws provided that a) it's a small business, b)the minor is at least 12, and c) you're not working during school hours.
@@paulinelarson465 I regret not having job at 16. It would have made me work harder as I got older.
I see this at almost every family owned establishment, restaurant or otherwise. It's how family owned businesses stay in business - it's not breaking child labour laws if it's your business and the child is yours, and you don't have to pay them 🤷🏻♀️ Not saying it's right, it just is.
Thank you for reminding me that St. Patrick’s is this week. I cannot afford to get pinched again 😭
Bird
Irishman here. Why do Americans pinch people on St Paddy's Day? We don't do that over here
*pinch
@@matthewmccallion3311 If we aren’t wearing green that day, we get pinched. I don’t know the context for it though, I can research it!
@@matthewmccallion3311 Not a clue. I think it's dumb. But its if you don't wear green. I suppose bullying people into wearing green is a good guess.
I never miss a Brainard skit
Florida's gigling after someone asking about aliens will ALWAYS slightly disturb me. :)
They're two different clips, one from New Mexico Joins The Table and the other.... Is done/said in most episode. Both from Florida, though.
I felt that jump to see the cabinets in my soul
2:54 no, no he's got a point
Yeah no one likes the turtle. Not even republicans.
I know some very VERY pro pot friends in Oklahoma that they told me they were voting against it because apparently the wording would make it detrimental to mom and pop dispensaries and would also give the state govt too much authority over regulating it....amongst other reasons. "Pot is bad" was the least of their worries. LOL
We love dyeing the river green here in Chicago☘️💚
Here in Savanah Ga to....at least lm sonewhat sure its dye.
@@GredelsRage ours in Chicago is a vegetable based powder
What color is it normally? I work down there so I'll know if you're lying.
@@Alverant well it really all depends on if it rains or not. Generally it’s a brownish,green color but sometimes are are treated to a nice blue color. There really isn’t one color to the river tbh
@@Alverant sometimes it’s a teal too
Laughed way harder than I should have about the Mitch McConnell thing
“Did I hear we’re dumping stuff in a river?… REVOLUTION!”😂
I'm a Kentuckian and I'm got a wizard of oz "ding dong the Mitch is Dead" party planned and on deck
That seems so morbid. Can I get an invite? I'll bring pizza.
Oh my god, I want in on this! I’ll bring turtle soup!
As an Illinoisan and a Chicagoan, I can testify and say, yes the Chicago river is green for St. Patrick's, and yes that's the only holiday we dye it for.
Wait, wait, wait. Mitch is in a position where he is depending on others to behave ethically? It's not often but sometimes God does smile on us.
“And to think you were supposed to be the nice one”😂😂
Man I don’t know why but my first time watching the Massachusetts joke it flew over my head
Now I’m laughing my head off
“REVOLUTION!!”
"being cool" *glasses*
Pure gold. Love it.
Cali’s glasses are gone. Did Florida steal them?/j
bro why are people using / its twitter dumbas
Had to have broken them!
@@Lopal12 it’s a tone indicator
"the nice one." I get this a lot. People assume because we are looking out of the disenfranchised we are supposed to be nice.
It's okay, Cali, I appreciated the turtle joke.
I think theres a significant population in KY that appreciate the joke as well to be honest.
As an Illinois resident and born in Chicago. Everyone knows that the chemical used to dye the river green actually starts out orange.
1:27 Yorkie really went for the jugular on that one 😂😂 This is why he’s one of my favs 😂😂
The turtle is down I REPEAT THE TURTLE IS DOWN
I forgot someone always dyes the river green for St Patrick's day 😂 it's been 3 years since i last saw that on the news
Omg i just realized every good Asian spot has a kid doing homework in it
I'm with Cali. We've earned making fun of Mitch
All hail to Massachusetts: Land of dumping shit in rivers
And harbors!
You know what, scratch that. Any body of water will do
I appreciate the change in Arkansas's accent I see you remembered what me and my friends (we were at the looney bin in AR) got to help you get better at the accent
I'd love to see a skit on the mall in Minnesota that had their roof cave in becuse of snow
Wouldn’t be the first time a building suffered a roof collapse do to Minnesota snow, and it won’t be the last….
Well... lake effect snow I guess..
My mom worked at that mall when she was in high school
Fun fact, sewage and garbage used to be dumped into the Chicago River. The river flowed into Chicago's primary source of drinking water, Lake Michigan, causing a lot of people to get sick. To prevent the spread of diseases, the Chicago River was engineered to flow backwards, sending its polluted water into the Mississippi River.
Don't forget about all the 12 year old kids working on our farms, California!
Allow Illinois and Massachusetts to dump stuff into their rivers 😉
Don't leave out Ohio
@@Nanstar0k Ohio is more into setting the river on fire
@@SteveHarrellRally _We Didn’t Start The Fire starts playing in the background_
Green food coloring is no big deal. It’s not toxic
@@SteveHarrellRally I mean, technically, we're dumping fire into the river. Still counts.
California, don't feel bad. Me and Twitter both made more savage jokes about Mitch McConnell. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes! And he gets more turtle-y with each passing year! It looks like his neck is eating his face chin first!
Finally some good news about Mitch.
Ahh yes, why isn’t the consequences of my own actions
“Mitch looks like Burt the turtle. “
Look it up if you don’t believe me
Marijuana does have some effects on the developing brains by blocking some connections from being made up till the age of 27. But it also has shown some incredible uses for parkinson's disease, Tourette's syndrome, and more. Legalize it for recreational use because it can be regulated by the gov't and younger kids wouldn't be able to get their hands on it from shady dealers or gov't regulated dispensaries.
He's going to be here in Austin tomorrow, but I can't go because I feel panicky just thinking about being around that many strangers. 😭 I absolutely love this guy's humor.
The Oklahoma part had me howling!!!🤣
Oh no, don't feel bad for making fun of McConnell falling. It's amazing
To be fair to Oklahoma, I'm sure there are a number of newly-turned teens looking to get a regular-paying job, even if part-time. It's a better wage than allowances, you can't deny. (Spending your time on games or doing whatever is fun and such...but it's even more fun when you have money)
AND it requires parental approval as well it's not like they can apply themselves and get the job then and there.
It was Arkansas that is changing the child labor laws, (so they can hire them in their chicken processing plants I heard). Oklahoma turned down legalizing recreational marijuana, although we voted for medical marijuana, and evidently have more dispensaries than anybody. I think drug dealers, churches, law enforcement, and Republicans were against it, for various reasons. And I thought Republicans were all about freedom. Guess not.
That “flipped over” comment was almost word for word what I though when I first heard the news. Get out of my head please!
The McConnell joke made me spit my coffee!! Best jokes yet!!❤
It's true I was just in Oklahoma a couple months ago. There was a weed dispensary every few miles it seemed.
I live in Oklahoma and none of this is incorrect. Most backwards state I have ever lived in.
For once, I'm with Cali. Does McConnell need help being flipped back?
Hahahaha! I just sold a bunch of the same chemical used for dying that river green to someone who I suspect may be doing the same thing, but on a smaller scale. A pool, maybe. But yeah, I still have a lot left, too.
Chicago used a vegetable based powder. I’m not sure if it’s the same chemical
Also Oklahoma doomed the marijuana vote from the start by pushing it from the november ballot to the march ballot. Voter turnout was so much lower (approx half the number of voters from november, and 1/3 the number from 2020 election). As a resident of Oklahoma I didn’t even know the vote was happening until a friend called me the morning of asking me if I voted.
If i was cali at the end id just say: im sorry but im not nice to fascists
Just announced recently,
in Union Missouri, the town just mentioned they'd be willing to hire 14 year olds to work for the city (it's still a town population wise) this summer.
Looking at Illinois for green dye shortage, 😂
Where are California’s glasses?
Fell on his back, I wasn't ready for that
As a Kentuckian, I would've made the same joke about flippin' the old turtle back over
Florida having a hard time saying "don't let him lie to you" is the best after scene
I was so concerned when I heard Arkansas name. I was like what did we do because we're never in these videos...unfortunately
I think not being in these videos is usually a good thing. It's rarely "Wow, , you're so awesome in all the ways!" and more often "Hey, look at the latest awful thing that did!" Even California gets made fun of, and they're the nice one!
Freudian slip on Mardi Gras 🤣 we know where he wanted to be.
For those who don't know, the Willow project is a massive oil drilling project by ConocoPhillips in Alaska. This is on top of the Biden administration having approved a record number of drilling permits. While it's great that Keystone XL was cancelled, this action is a very disappointing move for conservationists, environmentalists and climate activists.
If the government legalized pot federally, the ATF would go out of business
Yes ky twice in a row! Youre awesome ben, love seeing my little nowhere state getting some light
"Alaska mile" I love it.
Thanks for the awesome content and great video!!!
Let me tell you…..they are most certainly going to be overworking these kids. If I as a legally employed 16 and 17-year-old kept getting pressured into 20-30 hours a week at my jobs *while still in high school*, kids that don’t stand a chance. Can’t even stand up for yourself when you’re that young.
As a new yorker, I wish New York laughed at the Mitchell Connell joke 😂
San Antonio Texas is turning the water at the river walk green as well.
hey were chicago we've been dying the river green for years ya can't stop us now
REVOLUTIOOON
Ben is the definition of short king.
Mitch McConnell can take a long walk off a short pier
Flamingos on motorcycles!
Nah. That "turtle" remark was deserved.
Well done, Cali.
I know this isn't the topic of the video, but I hope Texas isn't able to secede one day. I'm in Texas, and I am scared of what will happen to non white people, non Christians, and the LGBT community. Things are getting really scary in America as a whole...
As an American of asian descent I... resembled that remark. And to be honest, it was really easy money. Don't touch the food, just take the orders, make sure the register is balanced right, and place the tickets in the window. Once you turn 15 and can LEGALLY start working... oh boy you bet your ass was getting a work permit and the family used those family business exemptions in the labor laws.
Y'know what'd be neat? Each state's worst army base and the usual shenanigans that happen there that make the news.
This is Amazeing I loved Massachusetts and love this great to see Oklahoma in his suit . I would is California the nice one. And happy st Patrick day
TX to MA: I like your thinking.
Florida saying "I am proud of you keeping drug dealers in business". The state with the most retirees per capita yet still doesn't know what a pharmacist does.
The Mass part had me dying
The thing about oklahoma is that only like 500,000 people voted. There are 4 million in the state
I can't wait to see all the people that were cracking jokes about Pelosi's husband make jokes about Mitch...
You’re in a desert and see Mitch McConnell walking towards you
I hope McConnell gets the same level of healthcare that he has helped contribute to the average American being able to receive.
I feel off camera Gov and Florida are friends because I like it when they’re not at odds XD
By an Alaskan mile. You heard it, Texas.
As a Kentucky resident, the least believable part of that joke was Kentucky getting offended at a Mitch McConnel joke.
We actually don't like him. He mostly keeps his job from being pretty good at Gerrymandering and convincing Republicans that everybody else on the ballet that could replace him is even worse for them.
We will dye the river green a hundred times over, you can't stop us
You know there are a lot of poor people in America, and poor adults have kids. Their parents in this country that don't have enough money to give enough for their kids even though some try. My dad had to work at 14 (not including all the side jobs he did when he was younger such as yard work) because his parents got divorced, and his mom could barely pay the bills. He wanted a car and money to move on with his life. If young people want to work, let them.
Thx for another Arkansas vid 😄😄😄