If the Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device - Episode 15: Tau
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- The ever-violent debate between Tau-fans and Tau-haters comes to the Imperial Palace itself.
Special thanks to StringStorm for helping me out with the glorious audiowork in this video!
/ galiant609
Thanks to Karl for making the Mechanicus Scene.
/ kokarorloli
Thanks to Vodkason for
vodkas0n.devian...
Thanks to Gods-and-Kings for art of Magnus
gods-and-kings....
and, of course, thanks to Earndil for drawing the best art
earndil.deviant...
ThunderPsyker as the Custodes
/ thunderpsyker
Zegram as Magnus
www.youtube.co...
StellarElite as Lord Inquisitor Fyodor Karamazov
/ thedakkanator
Franky as Lexmechanic Dominique
/ frankyplaysgames
ComradeCrimson as Delphan Gruss
/ @kimckenzie6161
/ comradecrimson
White as all Mechanicus Genators
/ dataent
Intro song is 'We are One' by Triarii
Image Sources:
docs.google.co...
Music Sources:
docs.google.co...
___
My PayPal Donations Page:
www.paypal.com...
My Patreon:
/ alfabusa
___
This video is completely unofficial and is in no way endorsed by Games Workshop Limited. Adeptus Astartes, Blood Angels, Bloodquest, Cadian, Catachan, the Chaos devices, Cityfight, the Chaos logo, Citadel, Citadel Device, Codex, Daemonhunters, Dark Angels, Dark Eldar, 'Eavy Metal, Eldar, Eldar symbol devices, Eye of Terror, Fire Warrior, Forge World, Games Workshop, Games Workshop logo, Genestealer, Golden Demon, Gorkamorka, Great Unclean One, Inquisitor, the Inquisitor logo, the Inquisitor device, Inquisitor:Conspiracies, Keeper of Secrets, Khorne, Kroot, Lord of Change, Necron, Nurgle, Ork, Ork skull devices, Sisters of Battle, Slaanesh, Space Hulk, Space Marine, Space Marine chapters, Space Marine chapter logos, Tau, the Tau caste designations, Tyranid, Tyrannid, Tzeentch, Ultramarines, Warhammer, Warhammer 40k Device, White Dwarf, the White Dwarf logo, and all associated marks, names, races, race insignia, characters, vehicles, locations, units, illustrations and images from the Warhammer 40,000 universe are either ®, TM and/or © Copyright Games Workshop Ltd 2000-2012, variably registered in the UK and other countries around the world. Used without permission. No challenge to their status intended. All Rights Reserved to their respective owners.
"Toa, or whatever their name was"
is that a fricking Bionicle refrence?
Well, we've gotten Monty Python and Jojo Bizzare Adventure references so far, why not Bionicle?
@@MrEvan312 why the hell not
Yes
Can also translate to the swedish (because Bruva is from Sweden) word loo/toilet. So a refrence and a joke in one?
Probably
This series is experiencing what I like to call the "red vs blue" effect. Where it started out as a purely parodic, humorous comedy. But, with time, it increased with quality, story telling, and comedy. Well done, well done.
I see I have found a fellow fan of Red vs Blue.
Red is always superior. Both in RvB , and in politics.
@@Ma_Zhongying May I introduce you to my ice pick? :D
Not again...
Leon Trotsky This is the voice of the Emperor, give up your evil ways, Join the Blue Team!
"THEY CAN'T EVEN FIGHT IN MELEE!"
*Imperius Intensification*
Emperor: Well looks likes it's time for another Crusade.
(Wall explodes Black Templars burst though.)
Helbrich: We heard there was a Crusade and came as fast we could!!!
We fukin' 'eard dare woz an imperial waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag wez impiral orks can go on can we please please please please we want ta waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag again!!!
The Emperor: *REAL SHIT?*
I am the 666th like
11:36 even korne respects the big E.
Kitten: "I learn from the best!"
Emperor: "Damn Straight"
There's a reason I love this.
Ohhh we all do
I get the feeling Emps is the kind of dad to high five his kids after a line like that.
This series makes more progress in Warhammer 40k universe than GW made in last 10 years
Dis es true dank u o corpsely man emperor of mankind
Son Goku
And the constant use of swearing is as normal as it is fun in this. Never losing its spark of humor
WHAT
Stoill true, just with 15 years now.
Indeed
"Oh my sweet missing left hand that was once used for greater things."
- The Man Emperor of Mankind
He uses his left hand to carry his giant flaming golden sword in glorious melee combat, you heretic.
@@magnustheredxv Yeah his "sword" _wink wink nudge nudge_ Please don't report me to the Ordo Heriticus.
*breaks in* IM AM FROM THE ORDO HERETICUS AND I HAVE RECIEVED A REPORT GOING AGAINST CERTAIN ALEX FAHEY
@@irvinnazifizak3467 YOU HERETIC, EVERY LOYAL IMPERIAL CITIZEN KNOWS THAT ONLY THE EMPORER IS SUFFICIENT TO SEXUALLY SATISFY THE EMPORER!
@@magnustheredxv Not really. He had a glorious totally-not-deity-powered lightning claw on his left hand and his fiery golden totally-not-op-plz-nerf sword on his right hand.
"They can't even fight in melee!"
So, what, do they prefer Brawl instead?
Hersy
bet they all main meta knight
Fuck no, Ultimate or nothing.
Salamandas assistant orks or nithun
I mean Brawl got a Storymode which for me at least was fun to play.
I always thought the Tau were a fun race, because they're are two ways to accept them mentally.
Either they're a secretive dictatorship that manipulates their followers into following the Greater Good, keeping with the Grimdark of 40k.
Or they're just a bunch of naive potshot takers that wind up in the most hilarious messes because they're the only friendly race in the galaxy.
I love both of those interpretations.
Bruva, you truly do like my opinions!
***** I love the idea of the secretive dictatorship being their small core of Ethereal cocknuggets while the entire rest of the Tau is almost completely comprised of those foolish friendly sniper battalions that think we can all get along if we just believe.
On that note, please, you fucks couldn't cooperate with each other without intense mind control, Orkz have self conflict as a way of life, Eldar all probably have knives over each other's backs, Chaos tends to have to be specifically formed as Chaos Undivided to not slaughter each other in droves and humans are the most legendary "fuck thy neighbor" species in recorded history.
You know, the sad truth is, that is true.
Humans are really the most "fck they neighbor" species to date.
Tom Baker for me they are space commies except with more propaganda , a lot more propaganda
Boss General Kinda understandable, since 99% of the universe wants to destroy then
So fun to see Kitten rage at the Tau because he was turned down by one.
blacksage
NOT. FUCKING. CANON.
at this point, I'm not even sure what even canon is anymore.
@@jesseteixeira6284 I love kittens outbursts...I'LL SLAP YOU UP! I SWEAR ON ME MUM!!
Jesse Teixeira “except malal”
Wait, where is that said?
"xenololi futanari slaaneshi-tier vore garbage"
How did it even jump straight to that?
+thereggub He's mocking the rule 34 community
well, just saying slaanesh does cover all that
That's kind of hot
+thereggub When we are refering to the WH40k universe, just any small reference to females cover that.
/tg/ will have a field day with this.
"Slaneesh has a weird sense of humour." I'm not sure if this is a massive understatement, the best explanation of him and his goals or both...
Madeline Van Dongen 2-3 years late, but definitely both.
"his"
@@fulcrum2951 *it
@@bobross9581 ?????????*
Hunter Kern No , most of the time Slaanesh is referenced as male . Although it is more correct to use in Bisexual ways, but GW most of the time uses Slaanesh in the male form. So no need to correct anyone .
"Whats the point in building a giant robot controlled by your own hands if you're not going to use it to punch the shit out of things?!?" - Kitten 2015
WELL, there's plenty of functions you can provide such a machine with.
Construction
Mining
Rescue Operations
There's even a group called La Machine who makes animatronic Parade floats for entertainment purposes.
@@RayMKlll You understand jokes as well as Dorn does!
Carrying a big fuckoff gun that other, more sane people would need to mount on a tank.
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MAKE A MECH FOR COMBAT AND NOT GIVE IT MELEE
LIKE REALLY JUST SLAP A JETPACK AND FISTS ON IT AND YOU CAN GRAB PLANES AND HELICOPTERS OUT OF THE SKY AND YEET EM INTO EACHOTHER OR SMASH EM INTO THE GROUND LIKE A BADASS!!!!!
What about Titans? They don’t punch things.
THEY CAN'T EVEN FIGHT IN MELEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+Никита Савченко EMPRAH"S HOLY RAGE!!!
Now we can! In the Far Reaches of O'Shava, we have FUSION BLADES!
Well, how about the Ethereal in the first Dawn of War? His melee is effective against light infantry, at least.
That... is.... *H E R E S Y*
Oh mighty man emperor.
.....I think you destroyed more planets with the amount of warp storms caused by your rage than the Inquisition exterminatus happy hour....
I'm surprised the funny story about the Tau was not about the time they threw a party for the Necrons who saved the Tau from the Tyranids. I can imagine the Ethereal was like "Oh you guys are pretty sick, heres a big party for you, and while youre at it maybe you wanna join the Greater Good?" and the Necrons just shift awkwardly in place before turning all the Tau into dust.
Apparently the festival actually lasted a day or two b4 they opened fire.
Well the one about the eldar is much more funny. I'm not sure what they were expecting when the tall pale elves in bdsm outfits offered a cultural exchange program but it sure as hell wasn't for the greater good.
"I do love me some good story time"
-The Holy Emperor Of Mankind M41
Mostly because pretty much every story up to 20th millennium was his doing.
What es an ordo alphus
What
Here's a fun behind the scenes factoy for you :
That's not really so much Little Kitten talking as a character here, you just heard Thunderpsyker's actual stance on Tau.
He hates them that much.
I mean who wouldn't hate them, trying to take our spot as the galaxy caretakers, fuck'em, fuck'em right into their vagina noses!
Yea they can't handle the truth!
As do I.
And it was hilariously over the top in it's delivery.
He hates them for -no real reason- . Irrational hate is glorious.
What if the actions of the Tau are all part of an elaborate scheme?
-Tau avoid melee, causing rage.
-Tau avoid being too grimdark, causing more rage.
-Tau use infuriating tactics in combat, causing even more rage.
-Tau deliberately keep their empire small, so they don't seem like a threat.
-Other armies hate the Tau, but can't attack them because they're too busy fighting each other.
-More rage.
-Wars become even more brutal because of Tau rage, Khorne grows in power.
-Tau keep doing Tau things, other factions still too busy fighting each other.
-More rage.
-Other factions destroy each other in Tau induced fury.
-Khorne becomes superKhorne and kills all the other gods.
-Khorne has an explosive orgasm because of this.
-Khorne realises he did something worthy of Slaanesh and kills himself.
-No Gods.
-No Imperium.
-No other Xenos.
-Tau inherit galaxy.
-Everyone gets mad and quits 40k.
-Tau invade Warhammer Fantasy.
It would be hilarious if W40k end times were with Tau inheriting the galaxy and invading Warhammer fantasy. THe fanbase rage would be funny.
THE BEST ENDING
I believe I can quote the emperor to show how much that shocked me when I red it: “OH MY SWEET MISSING LEFT HAND THAT WAS ONCE USED FOR GREATER THINGS”
I feel like this would be the most trolliest and hilarious ending.
I only know as much as this series when it comes to WH40K, but thanks to this hilarious comment, I think I finally understand the true nature of this “Greater Good”.
I love how Alfa tricked Thunderpsyker (Kitten) into canonizing his affair with Shadowsun just with the line - "I'd rather not say" - even before he even released that skit.
"Skinny miscolored Orks with mental issues that fought with each other, for no reason' . Isn't that just humanity?
No we have reasons, not always what we would consider good reasons. But we did have reasons.
We have reasons to fight for
Hippie629 I think he might be referring to the ogryn
@@dionwoollaston5717 huh, never thought of that
@@irontemplar6222 the Tau had the exact same reasons, fighting for limited ressources
The Toa joke at the beginning just reminded me of the absurdly fucking deep lore Bionicle has. Like, way deeper than a children's toy line has any fucking right to have. Shit, it's deeper than the EU of a lot of franchises.
Have fun remembering all the names.
I am all over that sh!t, but honestly the whole thing is kinda wonky
Toa is Swedish for a toilet. Alfabusa is Swedish.
@Nobody comments are not funny you troglodyte as far as the movies and games are concerned, you an put them in a discernable reading order, just give me an overview of each and year of release (but the bionicle moves 2 and 3 wee prequels, so they set up the quasi tribalism aspect displayed in the first)
@Nobody comments are not funny you troglodyte The difference is that it's not a fucking depressing nightmare ride from start to finish.
"T'au are incapable of fighting."
*T'au are actually the reason Hive Fleet Behemoth was defeated, but the Ultrasmurfs claimed all the credit.*
Oh DAMN! Wow... Never knew that
HERESY
Did they do it in glorious Melee combat?
@@deucesommerfeld1248 Tau probably dont even have a word for melee
@@Hippo_Hegemonyit *is* stated in the lore that Puretide did teach his pupils how to use a blade.
And all Tau Fire Warriors come with a combat knife, including those in battlesuits, as seen in the Farsight books, with Farsight even managing to critically injure an Ork Warboss with one before the suit he ejected from crushed said Warboss, killing the ork.
But these combat knives are akin to the modern day combat knives, and are a weapon more of last resort than anything, so they are very rarely ever used.
Magnus says to the Custodes; "For looking like a yellow submarine there seems to be a distinctive lack of intelligent life living inside your head!"
Later, the Custodes says to Magnus; "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH YOU TUBE OF DISCOUNTED KETCHUP!"
The burns in this episode are hot enough to make the sun sweat.
Kitten got claws, am I right? :3
Mal Masque Indeed, and they're sharp as hell.
Sharp as Deathclaw´s claws
In-fucking-deed.
AstroManX100 too bad Kitten can only match the rest of his relatives-in-Lawson when he's pissed the fuck off over the memory of his quadruple-penetration nut of a Xenos lover... ps. Was it ever established if that one was Enclave, or...
"You could say you... pierced the heavens"
"I am not sure who the hell you think I am"
I see what you did there, and I love it!
That joke was beautiful XD
I didn't get it. Not to familiar with Mechanicus stuff other than they are like the China of space and make everything ever.
BananaMonkeyization Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann joke. It's just one of them wabanese animus, don't feel bad about not being familiar with it.
Sly Goat oh right then
I saw it immediately too - absolutely fantastic.
"You better believe in me that believes in you lying dead on the ground, with a hole *drilled* through..."
Sudden realization, The emperor grew up in a time when melee was the only form of combat and lived threw the dark ages and the medieval era and so on so his opinion on melee is its honorable combatant. Awesome
I find it kinda funny and Ironic that Magnus didn't mention the famous Ethereal Leader, Aun'shi, who is essentially a Tau monk who goes into battle wearing nothing but a loin cloth and a double bladed staff. For a xeno, he makes the catachan jungle fighters look below par by comparison, which really fucking says something.
HeinkelG2 nah Marbo could take him ;)
TheTaffy2499 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HeinkelG2 I mean he does have a shield generator. Don’t ask where he hides it we have no idea.
Xenos Tyrant I fucking hate myself for posting this but. I know were he keeps it * slanneshy giggle *
@@gr8jason806 heresy
"xenololi futanari slaaneshi-tier vore garbage"
Hang on, let me decode the jargon... that would be a fetish about being eaten (not eaten out, just plain eaten) by giant, under-age alien hermaphrodites while there were tentacles everywhere?
Ew.
Thanks for decoding this, I'm glad I don't have to soil my search history with things like "futanari" and "vore"...
@@Itri_Vega Vore is straight-out disgusting
Futanari is more OK, partly because it's a society phenomenon nowadays...
Liam Ryan Holy man Emperor calm down. We just we need a bolter to fix this
I think my brain shut down after reading this.
Sora8740 knowing the slaanesh
*its probably a thing*
"They can't even fight in melee!" - The whole planet of Krieg would like to know their location for a - 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 - discussion about shovels and bayonets.
My man, you are clearly a Tzeentch worshipper, because that is an IMPRESSIVE prophecy you pulled off there.
Did someone say butrally murder something
Fortunately the Tau are one of the few species where Trench Warfare won't work even a little against them.
mainly because the Tau have a military doctrine that evolved past the 1950s.
@@anthonyrodriguez8788 so, the Emperor concidered to join to the taus as his son said?
Vanishing Slowly the xenophobia of the rest of the imperium?
@@anthonyrodriguez8788 Trench Warfare is still used in the 21st century by modern militaries btw.
Well, the Tau being whimps is one way to look at. Alternatively: They were such good shots that they never even considered the possibility of melee combat. Anyone who lets an enemy get close enough to touch them is an embarrassment to the entire race, so they just let them get killed.
+Matthew Campbell The thing is that they really are whimps. A Fire Warrior is about as strong as an untrained adult human.
they obviously have considered melee, they just decided to hire kroot to do it for them.
+Mortato Doesnthaveasurname DING! DING! DING!
In the fluff, the Tau have lower strength than other races but their biggest killer in melee combat is that out of all the races, they supposedly have the worst reaction times, making them horrible for the fast choppy action that is melee.
@@Hiperforteca And a full foot shorter on average, too.
So the Emperor can destroy the entire galaxy with bowel movement?
That is so AWESOME!!!
I think.
We must feed him fiber so he doesn't do that.
***** *puts laxatives in the Emperor's corn flakes*
*****
*Khorne flakes*
6:20 I believe Kitten just accidentally confessed he clapped some Tau cheeks and not in the sense he effortlessly murdered everything
Propaganda was real after all
The Emprah's raeg was most hilarious. is he going to order an assault on a Tau world by troops armed solely with Melee weapons, deep-striking right onto the heads of the Tau defenses so their long-range weapons will be useless? only time will tell.
and i love the interaction between Magnus and the Custodes, it's very brotherly in it's character.
and good to see Feodor back.
Get that poor lexmechanic his sandpaper cigarettes! For Emperors sake!
Find your humanity and whiskey-promethium blend for good measure!
Dildo Daggers why not throw in a few Flesh Tearers for good measure?
Max Hempell cause they barely have enough men to change a light bulb at any time... i think 300 is their number right now
I wonder if the Emperor knows that in the 21st century that all the armies of Earth ALL..USED...GUNS and hardly any melee weapons. Plus, the Tau would be great allies and they aren't as weak as we believe.
Falcone45 yes, but we know how to fight with knives and in hand-to-hand combat if we have to. the Tau are firearms exclusive.
The Dark Eldar story reminds me of another Tau desperate alliance story. Once again, the Tau were getting their shit handed to them by Tyranids. The Necron came cruising by and decided to fuck up the bugs, eventually getting them to fuck off. The Tau, never seeing Necron before, throw a big party for their saviors. The Necrons attend the party and celebrate the only way they know how: killing fucking everyone.I'm surprised they didn't see betrayal coming from a race of fucking robot space skeletons.
+Dr.ErikNefarious these are the people that allied themselves with floating psychic bears and cannibal space chickens I think they gave up judging books by there cover a long time ago.
+Dr.ErikNefarious I couldn't help but read all of that in Emperor TTS voice.
Nicholas Knudson Thank you.
It's not that the Necrons just up and killed them for no reason. They were being lead by that one Overlord. I can't remember his name, the one on a quest to reawaken the tomb worlds. Anyway, he exterminated the Tau for the same reason the Imperium exterminates Xenos; they were on a tomb world/necron controlled space.
"OHMYSWEETMISSINGLEFTHANDTHATWASONCEUSEDFORGREATERTHINGS"
~The Emperor of Mankind, ???.41M
With every episode you pull out greater and greater production values
This shit is becoming TV worthy, piece by piece
Also don't let me be that asshole
I haven't done the latest few lines you gave me but you know you can BITCH AND WHINE at me ALLLLLLL you want when crunch time comes
Also more roles pls I meant that Im lazy but interested
T-thank you, Lemon...
I shall bitch and whine at you.
*****
See to it that you do
I don't want you to let your niceguy impulses take over and let me fail to do my duty out of sloth
You ARE a Chaptermaster, by rights that makes you a Commander
I'm no longer in the chapter but I' in your series so COMMAND ME
Not tonight though I'm going to bed right now
Captain Princess Be commanded t o bed, I'll read you a bed time story you fuck!
*****
8D
CAN IT HAVE PRINCESSES AND CATS AND FUZZY LITTLE PORN ACTORS IN IT?
Captain Princess No you pansy. It will be how the mean troll who had to work an 8 hour shift beat his son cuss daddy didn't get his beer!
I loved Magnus' line while he was walking away after the discussion about the Tau-
"By the gods, Imperial cur are as ignorant as they are covered in f***ing gold..."
Now, now, Kitten, just because Shadowsun dumped you, there's no need to be bitter.
Fyodor goes digging in what used to be Paris, finds the catacombs and then declares Terra a Necron Tombworld.
"Toa, or whatever you called them" come on, the Toa are so much better than the Tau
Yes, but that comes with 2 other factions aswell, SOH and CAH. And a whole load of maths.
+TheXenomorphman Heh lol. But I was actually referring to Bionicle's Toa
TheXenomorphman yes and their leader phys-x
Winterstorm345 because the TOA at lest use fucking Melee
I miss bionical
I don't even like the Tau that much but Farsight is probably my favourite character in 40k. He's a cool guy.
Rad lad
Funny fact, when I used to play Tau in the Warhammer 40K tabletop game, my dice must have had a soul of their own. Whenever I needed a 2+ to hit anything, my dice would always roll 1s and miss. The other players would rush their tyranids/space marines/eldar and laugh at me, and when I needed 6s to hit, my dice would always roll 6s and also 6s to wound. So my tau would always miss their shots but beat the crap out of whoever rushed them!
13:01 Damn kitten if I didn't know any better I thought you were trying to talk dirty to Khorne.
This is how Khorne Berserkers are born
Chain-Katanas......
We need them now!
JoeRingo118 but its katanas! Whit chainsaws!
JoeRingo118 but but its a chain-katana!
Fucking Chain Katana's Dude!
*CHAIN POMMELS!!!*
Guys listen to me- LISTEN- I SAID LISTEN TO ME. CHAIN, CHAINS. THINK ABOUT IT< DOUBLE THE CHAIN. ◉_______◉
"How the fuck can they claim to be 'Ouh souh honourabruu' when they won't even pick up a sharpened piece of metal to shank you with?!"
Fucking. Lost it. Dying of laughter, brb. This is the BEST thing. I'm so happy I found this channel.
Toa? Hell yes. Unity Duty Destiny, heretics.
Yay! I wasn't the only one who got the reference!
Oh man that brings me back. Lewa FTW!
+David Brazie
Tahu
Lewa
Kopaka
Gali
Pohatu
Onu
If I remember correctly!
Its ONUA you heretic! =P
Tahu
Onua
Pohatu
Lewa
Gali
Kopaka
Takua
Takanuva
Jaller
Hahli
Matoro
Hewkii
Nuparu
Kongu
Vakama
Nokama
Onewa
Wenua
Nuju
Matau
Mata Nui
Days and hours of refreshing that playlist have finally paid off!
Ohohoh, you!
***** Lold at that TTGL reference. At least that show had some ballsy character unlike them Taus. Hm, alright, they got one too... uh.
Ignacy Przybylski They had a Char in Gurren Lagann?
DrStraynj Well, I'm sorry for shortening the word "character", that was sloppy.
Ignacy Przybylski Ah I see, thought you were referring to the character from Gundam, Char Aznable.
THREE YEARS! Three years it took me to get that Gurren Lagann reference in the beginning.
SERIOUSLY? The only smart Tau is called FARSIGHT? Like "foresight"? How fucking cheesy is that?!
He's not smart so much as he was lucky. He was a fire warrior who was part of an expedition where all the Etherials where killed by Orks. He was the ranking officer in the expedition as a result and, without Etherial influence keeping him and his men in line, he formed a nation out of the territory the expedition held.
Well it isn't his actual name his real name is Oshava or something and Farsight is either a nickname or honorary title
All of the Tau have names like that. Shadowsun, Brightflame, Puretide, etc
+Thomas Scally
From what I gather, Tau names are a combination of your rank, squad, major deeds, caste and clan. The 'major deeds' would be the most personal, since no one can do exactly what you've already done. Apparently (and by that I mean this is a completely uneducated guess), Commander Farsight was a sniper. Or a spotter. Whichever.
+HellChuggapri1 he is a general who is great at predicting his enemy's movements, so much that it seemed he could see the future, earning him the name of Farsight.
Went a lot faster to get up compared to EP14, eh?
I do sincerely hope you enjoy and, please, don't start too many Tau-related flamewars in the comment section (as if I'll be able to stop it).
And before you attack me; noooo, I don't hate the Tau. I like 'em for what they are!
HAVE A GOOD ONE, EMPEROR BLESS!
tau hater or not ive played tau since release and i can safely say i bust a nut with laughter
well
fucking
played
I'm ready to see some xenos purging.
It's not about loving or hating them, it's about being interested at all. Lore-wise, they're boring as fuck.
Ah, a story about Urien Rakarth! Thank you for this honour, mon-keigh!
This was by far the greatest episode in my opinion, at multiple points I could not stop laughing.
This has got to be my favourite sereis of any kind on youtube, and I would like to thank you for making my day every time I see a new episode in the feed.
Keep up the great work, and my the God Emperor be with you.
The Final form of the tau: Snipe you from across the Galaxy, not only can you not get in range, you never know they exist
Jackals on legendary difficulty
precognitive abilities confirmed on Terra, M2 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Der_Freisch%C3%BCtz
The bit about getting chased around the companions was hilarious! The way you edited that scene was fantastic! I also liked the part where the Emperor talked about the Tau propaganda and ESPECIALLY the immediate change in atmosphere when Kitten mentioned the Tau can't fight in melee. That part was downright excellent.
weren't the tau supposed to be be the good guys at first before fan complaints caused the creators to change them into china under mao
space communism because no one is truly innocent
+The Greater Ark not pure. There is t much grim darkness. Until GW has them meet a full force of chaos in even battle then there won't be much grim darkness to them.
trickster3696 nope the tau are pretty much like if Starlin communists and nazi Germany's had an anime oppsessed baby. The only way their better than the imperium is that they will ask you nicely if they can shit on all your freedoms and convince you its for your own good. Where the imperium will at lest be honest about shiting on your freedoms and will more or less leave you alone as long as you do what your told and contribute to the imperium and dont get up to any Choas fuckary. Because the imperium has got better things to do than waste time a resources telling everyone single person what to do with their lives. Where the tau get personally involved.
+@@shmee123ful So the Tau are basically an annoying mother?
trickster3696 dam fans....
*THIS REVELATION FILLS ME WITH MORE DISGUST AND SPITE THAN A SISTER OF SILENCE BEING THROWN INTO A PILE OF FEEDING TENDRILS*
The context of that statement both intrigues and worries me...
agreed
The whole Tau rant was amazing, my god that was satisfying. Really good episode, I would like to give feedback but I honestly can't point out anything you guys could have done better. Amazing just amazing, is all I can say.
I predict that little kittens will fall to Khorne.
I pray not
"Pierced the heavens" "- not sure who the hell you think I am"
Someone Gurren Laganns.
I swear, the best parts are the ones with the Emperor.
That exchange between Magnus, The Emperor and Custodes is fucking GOLD.
Especially the reveal of the Tau and melee.
The Emperor looked like he was shitting out ten Warp Storms out of sheer disgust and fury!
*HILARIOUS.*
I liked the older noble-bright Tau. The current edition, grimdark Tau are just yet another Xenos race to deal with. Let them all burn for all I care...
Clay Pidgeon Agreed. The grimdark of the Tau was their naivety. An entire race that has absolutely no fucking idea what kind of horrors lurk in the big, big galaxy that they are blindly expanding into. That's what made the Tau truly stand out in 40k, and a worthwhile faction.
+Commissar_Dan The Imperial Guard varies wildly in quality from planet to planet. All of the worlds we really hear a lot about are of course the top notch - and the Cadian model is the standard template for Imperial Guard regiments for a reason, after all.
+Commissar_Dan Solar Auxilia is better, but then again they're a "back in my day, better than yours" version of the Imperial Guard and they're barely more active than the Adeptus Custodes these days, so...
+Commissar_Dan The modern Solar Auxilia has much of the same fantastic equipment it rocked in the Great Crusade, but like a great many other things including the Adeptus Custodes, a significant portion of the Grey Knights, Battlefleet Solar, the Emperor's own flagship, the true measure of AdMech's technological prowess, more Titans than you can likely count, and who knows what else, they are being held in reserve in the event of an assault upon Holy Terra itself. Failbaddon has no idea what he's gotten himself into with the Fall of Cadia, and the objective that now faces him - for comparing the defenses of Cadia to those of the M41 Sol System is like comparing a flimsly log cabin with two guys with slingshots defending it to a militarized Hive City in its prime.
+Commissar_Dan Speaking of which, what with massive portions of the Cadian Imperial Guard still alive and well, they'll likely set up shop somewhere in the Sol System and wait for Failbaddon to come knocking for Round 2.
"what is the fucking point in making a giant robot controlled by your own hands if you're not gonna use it to punch the shit out of things"
-imperial combat handbook
Kitten: But they can’t even fight in Melee
Emperor: As long as they learn to play smash ultimate it is all right
Great, so they’re pedos too!
Cthulhu Because Why Not Possibly yeah I’ve heard about that unfortunate thing but it’s I can’t remember why I wrote that
Imagine if the Emperor ACTUALLY said that, Kitten would've just been like "OKAY, NO, THAT'S IT!" And just stabbed the Emperor through the skull!
@@RayMKlllif only that works knowing my luck after he. Stabs him the emperor bitch slaps him
I DEMAND TO SEE COMMANDER FARSIGHT ANIMETED SERIES! Trademark:imperium of man, some elements of the show may be fabricated.
There should be more Tau soldiers to fight in melee like him.
Maguns: " I just remember something!"
Mighty Emperor of Mankind: Where you left your oija board?" Priceless :D:D:D
THEY CAN'T EVEN FIGHT IN MELEE!
and Guardsmen can?
Straken: "What did you just say, citizen?"
Kell: "He said he wants to donate his jaw to your collection post mortem, sir."
Nork Deddog: "When shall I start da extrac... tract... pulling out, surr?"
Caphias Cain,Vance Stubbs,Sergaent Harker,Lukas Alaxander,Lord commissar Bernn,Commissar Yarrick,Colonel-commissar Gaunt,Sargaent Merrick... The list goes on.Tau melee fighters:Farsight, .
Comparatively, yes. Lasrifles have bayonets. When was the last time you ever saw a plasma rifle with a bayonet?
....oh, so the Kroot that serve them don't count as tau. noted. sorry :(
Justas Bulykinas Olleinious Pious. 1st edition fluff, he is the greatest guardsman ever, then games workshop decided to remove him for no reason.
So there is something that genuinely pisses Custodes off. I like how he and Magnus actually act like siblings. Presumably more like siblings than any two Primarchs, actually. Meanwhile, I agree with the Emperor that this Carflight (sounds way better than that other name they mentioned) character sounds pretty interesting. Oh, and, I just realized I'd missed Fyodor and his rants.
Read up about Commander "Farsight", he is one hell of a badass.
K0ragg There's also the Tau that was under the influence of Khorne that killed damn near everything with his bare hands. You played as him in that, mediocre at best, w40k fps.
K0ragg Still like "Carflight" better. The name drips awesomeness.
ZMowlcher
What wh40k fps ;o?
Besides Space Marine.
God Of Urging
Sounds stupid to me, but to each and his own.
Tau Lewds: *The Emperor still approves.*
Tau hates melee: *B L A S P H E M Y*
Heh, nice to see Little Kitten decides to let loose like a wildcat, even that tube of mustard still cracks me up.
I admit I was almost gonna remark Farsight, but Magnus cleared that up already. Meanwhile I can't help but feel Shadowsun should've gotten some sort of mention within this ep, even if it was a quick jab.
Lastly, I see the Lord of Fallen has certainly got his time well spent. Good for him. :P
Great and funny as always Alfabusa.
I think Catstode-kun and Shadowsun had a relationship once over Spacebook. Of course it went well and Catstode-kun had a body pillow made of her but sometime later, Shadowsun got creeped out by Catsode-kun's devotion to her so she broke up with him and blocked him. This would be why Catsode-kun is so mad about the Tau despite him wanting Shadowsun and keeping his body pillow of her for him to cry on. That or ThunderPsyker genuinely hates the Tau which would make it all the more funny if Alfabusa genuinely intends on pairing them up.
3:50 "Not again..."
I am intrigued as to what skullfuckery occurred for our favorite yellow conehead.
As a Tau player I entirely agree with Kitten
13:12 Khornate Custodes.
"Tub of discounted ketchup." LOL AHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Damn, watching these all over again makes them even funnier xD
1:45
"jumping around like idiots at the repeated patterns of sound blasting out"
"Sounds like what the fabricator general does ALL THE TIME."
...Motherfucker, the Fabricator General communicating in musical number was FORESHADOWED?!?
Am I the only one that had basically the Magnus reaction when the Golden Dildo Replacment mentioned lack of CQC abilities in Tau's arsenal? I mean, for fucks sake, better to shoot the crap out of enemy from miles away, rather than having to worry about making it to the enemy lines with the chaisword!
On the other hand this explains SO MUCH about Imperial weaponry. Like, mounting the powerfists on the giagantic MECH unit that doesn't even have anything to punch in its class size, or even having that riddiculous idea of making a FUCKING POWER SCYTHE!
Wait? What? Power Scythe intended? Glaaaargh neeeeeeeeeeeed!!!!! Even more than my usual two-handed Thunder Hammer :D
*****
Yes, and the Deathshroud, Mortarion's personal guard have a smaller and less powerful version of it
HERESY!! Power Scythes are cool. Also pre-heresy Death Guard terminators look so great with them(Also Mortarion btw), actually all pre-heresy marines and terminators look great. I wish they could use those equipments again,
*****
Long or short haft ?
Ahmet Çetin
Oh yes they are... Just like a Thunder Hammer under steroids, I want one! As a Dark Angel player it would fit perfectly
My warlord titan was destroyed in combat by fire warriors... Seriously.
I'm not kidding.
No, the haywire grenades get the credit. Do you say the Drop Pod killed a unit? They just rode their Fire Warrior mounts to it.
Tabletop is a medium where Swarmlords can be killed by guardsmen and the Dark Angels Master of the Ravenwing can die by falling into a pond
Its honestly not surprising at this point, though it doesn't make it any less funny
ThunderPsyker
Well, little kitten, it seems tau may be more honourable than you think.
Well what did you expect when faced with SUPERIOR STEEL FOLDED OVER 1000 TIMES?
wittyreviewer That'd be the Eldar. Tau are Maoist Indians
10:50 The biggest bomb in the Imperium just got dropped.
16:01
Whoa.... Did he just made a reference to Battletech: The Animation who is basicly "Canon" and regarded in the Universe of Battletech has a poorly made holovid series serving as propaganda against the Clans?
12:03:OH MY SWEET MISSING LEFT HAND THAT WAS ONCE USED FOR GREATER THINGS.
"You could say you, pierced the heavens"
ROW ROW. FIGHT THE POWA
I love how this went from a quirky 40k satire to alfabusa's own personal headcanon
Kitten's description of the Tau kinda reminds me of some other species that constantly fought within it self like skinny, miscolored orks with mental issues until someone came along and told them to stop.
Now they run around covered in gold and skulls and act all high and mighty about it.
Yeah the funny and sad part is that the tau were originally supposed to be an ally to the imperium. Doing the whole open trade and whatnot, but certain black library authors were all like NO FUCK THAT NOT GRIMDARK ENOUGH. So they had the tau just openly kill and fuck over some humans making relations extremley shaky at best, outright hostile at even less best.
Also its pretty funny to see "kitten" get worked up like that.
To me this is the 40k version of end times. Also its my personal canon.
in my opinion the end times should be, the rest of the tyranids forces enter the galaxy, hive fleet leviathan reaches Terra, vulkan comes back, gulliman makes a come back, and all the other surviving primarchs(daemon prince primarchs inclueded) come at to play. also the final stand of all the faction making a final stand fighting the rest of tyranids threats.
What about chaos? Feels anti climatic for the tyranids being the final enemy. Being that Chaos fucked up everything to begin with.
what about the chaos gods come to play, and the all mighty emperor comes back to life, that and maybe we might find out what the magic red button does which is by the golden throne.
13:05 kitten started prasing khorne
The AdMech have stumbled upon one of the long-lost DISCO PLANETS!
“They can’t even fight in melee”
(Basically Borderlands melee if you DONT have a melee build)
“Could use them as snipers (or used as a ranged weapons development)
And have a melee only unit to protect them as a 2 in 1 duo”
Or maybe have A “C4St-F1ST” mech with a long reach shoulder turret manned turret on it
Wow, Fyodor's monologue doesn't sound nearly as bad as I'd thought when I recorded it!
The whole video is startin' to send tingles down my spine. Actually, the whole series. This is startin' to get intense.
I just love that little bit by Kitten
"Okay! We are stopping! Right here! The Guardsman just dropped dead, time to make a 180, and drastically change the subject!"
It's just that it feels so perfect and it makes my brain associate Guardsmen with being as expendable as parrots in a mine. Which they really are.
I've watched TTS from the first up to now. The humor for me is indeed dying down, from laughing out my guts to occasional chuckle. But the episodes seem to have matured somehow, growing slowly to have a mild serious plot. What started out to be the Emperor's random rants about the Ultramarines and other stuff you might find from 1d4chan, now is taking an interesting turn of how the Emperor is getting the Imperium back together and resumes the Great Crusade... with humor on the side.
I'll wait for the next episode eagerly, Bruva Alfabusa.
“Sounds like what the Fabricator General does all the time.” Woah. Explains the musical number.
Alfa this episode is my fav finally something to show fucking tau players who say "oh we are so cool and that all the other armies are sooooo bad at shooting, you should give up because tau are the best ever" and I testify with the emperor on his melee statement who zogging thinks they can avoid melee.
Fucking tau
I've always assumed Tau are one of the most-frequently kicked armies, because I almost never see anyone mention anything about them apart from how much they hate them.
Yuyuko Saigyouji I have no problem with the tau what I do dislike is the types of tau players who just talk shit, about oh how 'perfect' their army is.
Kaptain manslaughta
I've played Tau since I started playing back in...2006? and I honestly think they're still a pretty weak army, even with Riptides (unless you cheese three of them, or four as Enclaves). I personally think the whole concept is gimped by BS3 across the board; for an army so utterly reliant on shooting, at least the ultra-advanced, AI-assisted battlesuits should be BS4. They can't blob like guard, nor can they mech like guard. I still mainly run SM because they will never, EVER, be weak, like the poster boys they are.
You know what XV8 Crisis suits are realy good at?
Punching battlewagons to bits.
tyranids rape the tau more than slaanesh ever could
Sounds like Kitten was pissed about the breakup 🤣
This was a lot different than I imagined it would be... but not in a bad way. I enjoyed this as always. This was kinda different than the last few, but that's okay, it keeps it fresh.
Anyway I liked how they were describing/arguing about the Tau. It got fucking hilarious when the Emperor was okay with everything (which is what I expected of him, thanks for not letting down my understanding of him) until the Custodian mentioned that the Tau don't fight "gloriously".
Also, this video had perhaps the most hit one liners. Nice Job :)
Am I the only one who regularly uses Tau in close combat, and wins? Granted, I play Farsight, but still. Under my control, Farsight has personally eaten:
Calgar. Twice.
Two 4th-Ed Carnifexes. Simultaneously
Entire squads of terminators
A Crimson Fists generic Chapter Master, equipped with Terminator Armour, twin lightning claws, and some other goodies
More Eldar than deserve counting
A Soul Grinder, one week after release
A Daemon Prince
More vehicles that I care to count, before 6th made vehicles border on obsolecense
FRIGGIN' GAZHGULL URUK THRAKA.
I actually feel SAD, when Farsight doesn't get into CC with the enemy commander, and thus give my opponent a victory point, due to Tau Sadness.
"Tau Sadness" gives opponents a victory point
GW pls implement into 8th edition
I'd actually be down with this!
board game sucks try a real game like the DOW dark crusade
cropathfinder what
cropathfinder what
Man... it actually was really cool to see a Primarch advising the Emperor again.
This series makes me harder than terminator armor :^)
Anyways, fantastic job again, Alfa!
The other factions are like a family eating dinner at a table while arguing and the Tau are the dog that gets everybody's leftovers.
12:34 "ouh souh honourabruu"
That caught me so off guard...good job lol
I play farsight enclaves just to avoid the stereotype that tau can’t melee
Magnus "Hah! I just remembered something!"
Emperor "Where you left your ouija board?"
Magnus "Even better!"
XD
8:44 I've learnt a new word:
Gelding - The castration of a male horse or similar creature to make them less hormonally rampant and more suitable for work.
"they can't even fight in melee!"
"Well doesn't that just trip the biscuit!"
Not even a minute in and I'm already dying of laughter! I never expected those references at all, man you are freaking amazing! My sides are the ones who will pierce the heavens!
I just realized that the first half of the theme song is the entire life of the Emperor. The birth of his soul by the combined suicide of all the shamans, him as a baby, then him as the Emps. After that is FUCKING HORUS and then the Corpse God we all love