+ChickenPika dont forget the wierd little bomb thing which makes no sense because he has nothing to shoot it with and if hes throwing it why is it shaped like something which drops from a plane
I'd honestly love to see Kwon in a Street Fighter game, as either a rando fighter or maybe a purposefully naff playable fighter. I'm a Mortal Kombat fan, so I'm not sure how Street Fighter lore works.
As a french, I am outraged! Tiertex disregarded baguette in the benefit of bottle as weapon. It's unrealistic and offensive for our culture! As without baguette, we cannot duel in the streets if dishonored
Man in retrospect this has to be by far one of the best produced videos on youtube from that era. Ashens seemed to get things going right from the start
Ain't it funny how it is usually someone not from a race, nationality, etc. of the group they think it is racist to that thinks it is racist. Makes you think...
3:48, it's a processed photo of St. Basil Cathedral in Moscow, aka NOT KREMLIN, it's so pretty the Czar ordered to poke out the eyes of the architect so he may never build anything as pretty again. Seriously, that's why nobody does anything standout in russia - it doesn't end well for you.
You want more Terrible Old Games videos? He did a few a year or so ago but he originally did a bunch of them by commission of Blistered Thumbs. Ashen does a lot of stuff under commission. One should consider becoming a rich person so they can pay Ashen to do awesome things...
2007? Early YT video? Maybe for Ashens, but YT in 2007 was hardly in its early days. 2005 or early 2006? Yeah, but 2007 things had finally been figured out some.
At first Franz seemed like a true professional, during his employment with us he never dropped a single tray. He was the most valued member of our front of house staff... until we had to let him go over that unfortunate indecent exposure/sexual harrassment incident :(
Not just you. That's one of the many terrible mechanics of the game. You have to knock down enemies more times than they have to knock you down, and their health refills if you don't damage them quickly enough.
If I remember correctly, wasn't the final boss not only limited to 6 frames of animation, but also had his sprite bugged to the point where he was an unrecognizable mess of pixels?
I don't know if anyone has pointed this out in the last 15 years, but you got one thing backwards. You fight Hans before you fight Franz, not after. *THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!*
I don't know who actually gets offended by racial stereotype characters everybody I've ever known always thinks over-the-top stereotypes of their countries are funny and awesome as hell and I do too
I think the Human Killing Machine is Murkeva, not Kwon. Hear me out. Take a look at the poster. We see a muscular man with all kinds of bags and weapons strapped to him, including red sticks of dynamite. Now look to Murkeva's sprite into the game. Big guy, black vest, red firework. See?
It was a thing for a while, publishers milking the home conversion rights to produce unofficial sequels. Strider II (Tiertex) Duet aka Commando II The Vindicator aka Green Beret II Bombjack II Target Renegade Renegade III. Only Target Renegade was any good
Were the special moves "left out" because of Tiertex's inefficient single-sprite-sheet programming? If the problem with Markeva(?) in HKM was also an issue in the first Street Fighter, they might have simply not had enough frames to draw any special moves, let alone projectiles.
As I kid who played Street Fighter 1 arcade, I remember how high tech it was. I never knew about this HKM crap! Here I am 30 years later (2019) to realize there is such a thing. This HKM is horrendous. You're narration is hilarious!
Ever bought a game that you TRIED to enjoy because you spent all your money on it because it looked cool? Also, piracy was rampant in Europe, so acquiring a copy of this for free was probably not very hard.
I bet that the guy (He's the meanest son of a snake) in the advert is supposed to be the final boss. because they probably didn't have anybody in the Tiertex offices that remotely resembled Kwon.
Nice reference, but actually Tiertex=U.S. Gold (as can be seen on the title screens for the games depicted in the video). --Oh, and U.S. Gold eventually did the SFII adaptation for computers...where they left out half the characters (though both Ken and Guile were included--have to keep the American characters in the game for the American audience).
You forgot to mention than in the Amiga version, the last boss is bugged and you see a glitched version consisting of random frames from the bullfighter.
Igor's like, "I accept your challenge to a hand to hand fight. I'm bringing a Mosin Nagant though."
My bad.
We should submit Kwon into the character suggestion box for Super Smash Bros.
Dojix That is AMAZING!!!
still a better choice goku or shrek
He's too strong.
And potato to you to, nearly 10 years later.
Holy shit. It's been so long. I feel old.
Thanks for the memories :P
Video is still good all this time later lol
yeah. they all are. I'm rewatching them all now :P
Nice. They really are great!
Potato to you as well good sir, from the year 2019.
I've watched this dozens of times and only just realized the guy on the cover has a boomerang tucked into his belt.
ChickenPika!
ChickenPika And it's supposed to be Markeva o:
+ChickenPika dont forget the wierd little bomb thing which makes no sense because he has nothing to shoot it with and if hes throwing it why is it shaped like something which drops from a plane
maybe he is an Australian?
Since this video, Tiertex went on to create USB development boards and eventually went out of business in 2021. A FITTING PUNISHMENT!
"Kwon continues his incredibly stupid journey of violence..." XD
For a game titled "Human Killing Machine" Kwon seems like a clean and honorable competitor.
I'd honestly love to see Kwon in a Street Fighter game, as either a rando fighter or maybe a purposefully naff playable fighter.
I'm a Mortal Kombat fan, so I'm not sure how Street Fighter lore works.
Kwon is Strong
@@TheSmart-CasualGamerKwon can be the next generation Dan.... Strange considering I believe HKM predates Dan's first appearance
@@Mordecrox Kwon is weak. He can't even murder a matador AND his bull.
Kwon needs 5 knockdowns
Thumbs up if you wish ashens would continue the T.O.G.Y.P.N.H.O series and want new episodes posthaste!!
Because that'll have some effect on it.
Wait, no it won't.
uTubeNoITube i read that as "new episodes toothpaste"either way i concur!
ChickenPika Aren't you the killjoy
woot000
When I'm bored, I hang around in retirement homes and occasionally remind the residents they're going to die soon.
ChickenPika really? i find hospitals more effective ;)
i miss terrible old games you've probably never heard of
Me too. I know Ashens made a book and whatnot but it won't be the same without his delivery and the visual gags.
i want all these characters on mugen NOW
Note:
i could only find Kwon...that was it
Kwon kong
OtakuFakku You're welcome :D
If you didn't know, I was the one who made him.
awesome
OtakuFakku I have the sprites of Igor too...
As a french, I am outraged! Tiertex disregarded baguette in the benefit of bottle as weapon. It's unrealistic and offensive for our culture! As without baguette, we cannot duel in the streets if dishonored
But, the waiter was German. He wasn't "from France", he was called Franz.
Man in retrospect this has to be by far one of the best produced videos on youtube from that era. Ashens seemed to get things going right from the start
I think that the title refers to Kwon being a human who happens to be a killing machine, because Shepski and Brutus weren't humans.
Bismuth83
Or given the artwork it may mean the antagonist of the game; Merkeva.
Hans looks like William Murderface from Metalocalypse
_"I woke up... with a Kwon's hand down my pants. That's what I did today."_
I'm German and Franz is not offensive at all. He's just ridiculous.
Ain't it funny how it is usually someone not from a race, nationality, etc. of the group they think it is racist to that thinks it is racist. Makes you think...
@@tygonmaster People love to feel offended on others behalf
But why is Franz bringing wine and not beer. Might as well go all the way with the stereotypes
This is the calm version of the Angry Video Game Nerd.
And he has more intelligent insults
This is Ashens.
@Vic Santiago Because American RUclipsrs only care about old games if they're on the NES. They don't care about obscure British games.
Ashans sounds like a Calm smooth voiced video game nerd
ASMR AVGN
"and after fighting miguel, you have to fight"
me: "a bull!"
video: "a bull."
me: "called it!
John Egbert bullshit
SteamShovel Studios screw you
John Egbert ;-;
SteamShovel Studios oh now i get the joke
sorry
There were no more Hoorays...
3:48, it's a processed photo of St. Basil Cathedral in Moscow, aka NOT KREMLIN, it's so pretty the Czar ordered to poke out the eyes of the architect so he may never build anything as pretty again. Seriously, that's why nobody does anything standout in russia - it doesn't end well for you.
for being such an early YT video, this is really well done :O sometimes i wish ashens videos were like this again
You want more Terrible Old Games videos? He did a few a year or so ago but he originally did a bunch of them by commission of Blistered Thumbs. Ashen does a lot of stuff under commission. One should consider becoming a rich person so they can pay Ashen to do awesome things...
Oda Swifteye haha, now i know my goal in life
2007? Early YT video? Maybe for Ashens, but YT in 2007 was hardly in its early days. 2005 or early 2006? Yeah, but 2007 things had finally been figured out some.
by today's standards, 2007 was early youtube. most users didn't join until 2012.
Tiertex: The English version of LJN to the gamers back then.
I just figured out the name. Kwon is a killing machine that happens to be human, because he doesn't just kill humans.
At first Franz seemed like a true professional, during his employment with us he never dropped a single tray. He was the most valued member of our front of house staff... until we had to let him go over that unfortunate indecent exposure/sexual harrassment incident :(
Alas, Franz's career was undone by a fly...
@@favoritemustard3542Clever.
Ah, Kwon. Surely you will be remembered along with fighting game greats like Ryu, Kyo Kusanagi and Terry Bogard for years to come...
Is it just me, or was Igor's health actually REGENERATING before you knocked him out?
Not just you. That's one of the many terrible mechanics of the game. You have to knock down enemies more times than they have to knock you down, and their health refills if you don't damage them quickly enough.
Conspiracy time: Rashid from Street Fighter V is a reborn Sagan D:
If I remember correctly, wasn't the final boss not only limited to 6 frames of animation, but also had his sprite bugged to the point where he was an unrecognizable mess of pixels?
I think so. I think it was a mess of the bullfighter's sprites.
It was bugged in the Amiga port
@5:25 'Incredibly Stupid Journey of Violence' Brilliant! I *demand* this be the title for the next sequel.
ISJOV
Kwon could also be a human that is in the process of killing a machine.
I'm surprised he didn't make the obvious joke of this game being a machine used for killing humans
I guess Franz and Hans are there to PUMP YOU UP before you get to the end guy.
bitwize Damn. I'm a year late.....
in an alternate universe this is Street Fighter 2. The game that killed the franchise lmfao
Well, it's still better than Street Overlord (POPStation)
"He does looks like an actor from a European 70s porno movie"
And I happen to know which actor you mean: Rudolf Rogers.
"Known for Anal Power 4"
Fantastic.
Rudolf has the greatest mustache in adult film history. A legend in German adult films.
6:23 "The Dreaded Vulcan Testicle Pinch" I'm Dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️
I don't know if anyone has pointed this out in the last 15 years, but you got one thing backwards. You fight Hans before you fight Franz, not after.
*THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!*
Why doesn't Igor shoot Kwon?
Is he out of ammo?
That's what I'd assume. =p
Russian lieutenant: Why don't we just shoot him?
Russian general: Are you crazy? We haven't had bullets since '57.
-Six String Samurai
Yup, during World War 2, before American lend-lease, they had like 1 rifle per 2 or 3 men, and not much better in the way of bullets.
Too drunk
HAHAHA! the 70s porno music was awesome xD
derangedband Hello, I have come to vix da vashing machine.... XD
To this day, this remains one of my favorite videos on youtube
7:18 Aaaaaahh Rashid first appearance
is it sad that i want to see a sequel/remake of this game?
At least Hans and Franz didn't goose step as a special move.
Wait a minute, Miguel is clearly Freddy Mercury with a walking stick.
Ah... "potato", the days of lolrandum humor
"However, they now make cell phone games. A FITTING PUNISHMENT"
These videos are great, I've gotta say.
Am I the only one who enjoyed the music VS Igor?
No i'm trying to find what it's called rn lol
Okay, I just added Kwon to Akinator. Surprised I was the first person to do that... well actually not THAT surprised.
Anyone else notice Igors health was regenerating while the players stayed the same? If this was mentioned sorry.
I don't know who actually gets offended by racial stereotype characters everybody I've ever known always thinks over-the-top stereotypes of their countries are funny and awesome as hell and I do too
Only by the ones who lack a sense of humor.
I could never even get past Igor. They bloody regenerate their health, to add insult to injury.
"Vulcan Testicle Pinch" killed me.
6:45 It's William Murderface in Liederhosen.
Tiertex also makes USB LED Matrix Displays and PIC Microcontroller Boards under the name Tiertex Design.
I think the Human Killing Machine is Murkeva, not Kwon. Hear me out. Take a look at the poster. We see a muscular man with all kinds of bags and weapons strapped to him, including red sticks of dynamite. Now look to Murkeva's sprite into the game. Big guy, black vest, red firework. See?
It was a thing for a while, publishers milking the home conversion rights to produce unofficial sequels.
Strider II (Tiertex)
Duet aka Commando II
The Vindicator aka Green Beret II
Bombjack II
Target Renegade
Renegade III.
Only Target Renegade was any good
3:33 the only thing i see is 2 man dancing
"The next character after Franz is called Hans"
Are they here to pump you up?
Nah, they're here to PUMMEL you up
Nice SNL reference!
Had to watch again for the Ashens 15 year anniversary!
5 years later and this is still the funniest Ashens videos around.
Most people are familiar to Street Fighter II. The original Street Fighter, not so much.
Were the special moves "left out" because of Tiertex's inefficient single-sprite-sheet programming? If the problem with Markeva(?) in HKM was also an issue in the first Street Fighter, they might have simply not had enough frames to draw any special moves, let alone projectiles.
Is it just me or does Hans look like Murderface if he went to Oktoberfest?
That's why I am watching, I actually thought it was a Dethklok game
yes he does
As I kid who played Street Fighter 1 arcade, I remember how high tech it was. I never knew about this HKM crap! Here I am 30 years later (2019) to realize there is such a thing. This HKM is horrendous. You're narration is hilarious!
the AI's life recharges.....
"...oh, no more hurrays"
Your tone of voice is just so appropriate!
I suppose it could be worse. One of the German opponents could be called Adolf and do a lot of silly walks.
Just looking back over these, brilliant!
I was disappointed all over again to discover Adolf Hitlyourface wasn't the main German character though.
2:45 Why is Dollar Store Ryu yelling at Heavy?
The Heavy was meant to be Bootleg Sagat.
16 years later. The rack of pork pies is an ammo belt for the swedish mauser
The fact that you know to stay away from the guy means you played it enough,. If you played it you liked it.
Ever bought a game that you TRIED to enjoy because you spent all your money on it because it looked cool?
Also, piracy was rampant in Europe, so acquiring a copy of this for free was probably not very hard.
Whoa 12 years old and the audio is better than some modern crap
POE TAY TOE!
The dreaded Vulcan Testicle pinch.
I look forward to Zachary Quinto performing it.
I remember when making mobile games seemed like a bad idea.
That isn't quite the case today. XP
I wonder how tiertex is doing now?
They finally closed their doors in 2021.
Whenever I watch this, I always think to myself: "Thank goodness there was potato."
2:50 'kwon' is only a family name in korea.
Isn't the family name written first in Korea? I'm guessing the developers picked a random name and didn't realise that it wasn't the first name.
Any time I see the fun-forsaken Tiertex logo in an old game, I think of what Ashens said at 0:54
merkeva (or something) looks like heavy from tf2
I lost it at the Vulcan testicle pinch.
Look on the bright side, at least they didn't use Nazis for Germany, LOL
Something you didn't mention we should notice...your opponent and ONLY your opponent regains health
I don't know why, but there is a click able button above the comment section that says "Learn more about SEX-O-RAMA" What the fuck RUclips
It's the band that made the sexy sexy porno music. ;D
643......you fight Murderface?!?! AWESOME!
I want to know the name of the 70s porno music.
Darude: Fuckstorm
I bet that the guy (He's the meanest son of a snake) in the advert is supposed to be the final boss. because they probably didn't have anybody in the Tiertex offices that remotely resembled Kwon.
tertex = LJN
Nice reference, but actually Tiertex=U.S. Gold (as can be seen on the title screens for the games depicted in the video). --Oh, and U.S. Gold eventually did the SFII adaptation for computers...where they left out half the characters (though both Ken and Guile were included--have to keep the American characters in the game for the American audience).
Ljn is just as bad
Rewatcing this, I just realized that it seems Konami wants go follow in Tiertex footsteps now.
I'm happy for that.
Uhmm, are we sure that this"Helga" is really a woman and not just a man in drag?
Also noticed that Igor's energy slowly builds back up as time goes by. I can only assume all others do as well.
Glad I missed this one! Surf Wisely.
Ashens' review here is listed as the #1 reference for Tiertex Design Studios in their Wikipedia page hahaha
They should’ve called this game “Human Fighting Machine”.
You forgot to mention than in the Amiga version, the last boss is bugged and you see a glitched version consisting of random frames from the bullfighter.
For that matter, he neglected to mention any other version of the game, since he only took a look at the Atari ST version.
"A move like he's lining up a particularly difficult pool shot" ahahaha that had me in stitches.
bring this series back!!
Shoutout to those rewatching these old videos in 2019
I completely lost it at "the dreaded Vulcan testicle pinch."
When Tiertex got denied of making a port of Street Fighter II, this was the result.
Anyone else want them to add these characters to actual modern street fighter games?
Guru larrys line "a fitting punishment..."
Is it just me, or is Hanz, the lad in lederhosen, really William Murderface from Metalocalypse?
Murderface at Oktoberfest? We may never know.
Why is this so ahead of it’s time