Boys will be boys | Danny Blay | TEDxStKilda

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  • Опубликовано: 17 май 2024
  • With increasing concern over domestic violence levels in Australia he asks whether patriarchal cultures are not only failing women, but also failing men.
    Subscribe to TEDxStKilda for ideas worth spreading, produced by Geonewmedia.
    www.tedxstkilda.com
    Danny Blay is a qualified Men’s Behaviour Change Program facilitator and counsellor. His key achievements included the contribution to an expanded and coordinated approach to family violence in Victoria, the development of innovative training on family violence prevention for the community sector and fostering formal working relationships with other aligned organisations and stakeholders. Danny has made significant contributions to the development of improved and innovative ways in which family violence is addressed in Victoria, including the training of sector workers.
    In a previous life Danny has been a youth and parenting support worker and has had a long association with community radio.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 294

  • @c_farther5208
    @c_farther5208 4 года назад +79

    He brought that magical word up, empathy. IT's what parents are missing when raising their kids and it effects everything in our lives, all of our choices are influenced by empathy.

    • @joakimber8831
      @joakimber8831 3 года назад +2

      Misplaced empathy can sometimes lead a woman to stay when she should flee to something far far better.

    • @stanclark3992
      @stanclark3992 3 года назад +1

      Empathy equates into the emotional part of the human psyche. It's not a magical word,,, it's nature.

    • @stregalilith
      @stregalilith Год назад +1

      And empathy is not a feminine or masculine trait, it is a HUMAN trait and is even shown by animals toward one another and toward us. So maybe its a universal trait! It is a shame to deprive our boys of empathy and expect them to be real heroes as men so let's encourage empathy in all our children.

  • @thisisntallowed9560
    @thisisntallowed9560 5 лет назад +248

    Men express anger because that's the only emotion they are socially allowed to show. If we want to stop violence we need to teach them to express their emotions so that they don't grow bigger inside them and explode and express anger in a healthy way.

    • @PathtoAuthenticityTarot1111
      @PathtoAuthenticityTarot1111 5 лет назад +41

      But as he said anger is emotion, violence is a behaviour, behaviour is a choice. But other then that you are very much correct. Men need to heal this idea that they can't express emotions other than anger. We both are made very equally in that

    • @jessicaamay611
      @jessicaamay611 5 лет назад +5

      Agreed

    • @jamedraa8472
      @jamedraa8472 5 лет назад +12

      ABSOLUTELY TRUE! We don't allow boys to say "my feelings are hurt". But it's okay to get angry, to get pissed off.

    • @lsoflsof-ll4rc
      @lsoflsof-ll4rc 5 лет назад +3

      I agree, but i think that's only half the story. You're ignoring that males are biologically more assertive and violent (might have to do with their on average 25 times higher testosterone production than women). So I think even if we try to limit masculinity, men would still be more masculine and violent (on average) because of their hormones. But I agree that we should try to end toxic masculinity (primarily found in men).

    • @thisisntallowed9560
      @thisisntallowed9560 4 года назад +8

      I think a good way to solve this would be to make them embrace vulnerability.

  • @natalievildova1114
    @natalievildova1114 5 лет назад +226

    It's so important that a man is talking about this.

    • @catchnrelease8528
      @catchnrelease8528 5 лет назад +7

      I see no man here.

    • @JezzaODoyleRules
      @JezzaODoyleRules 4 года назад

      Why not a trans man?

    • @susaaalolila133
      @susaaalolila133 3 года назад +8

      Catch N Release you are part of the problem

    • @joakimber8831
      @joakimber8831 3 года назад +1

      It is good. I like to see women represented at events that discuss male behavioral change, as it is that element of women being present and heard that is missing at some of these male led behavioral change functions.

    • @gesa9761
      @gesa9761 3 года назад

      @@JezzaODoyleRules Trans men are men and therefore included in the statement above

  • @KatTheScribe
    @KatTheScribe 3 года назад +26

    He makes so many excellent points. So important on multiple levels, that this is coming from a man. What a great talk.

  • @hermannkamguem2213
    @hermannkamguem2213 4 месяца назад +2

    Boys definately should remain boys, responsible boys, protective, understanding, carrying, loving boys, non-agressive boys, respectful boys... cheers!

  • @zuzannatomaszewicz6420
    @zuzannatomaszewicz6420 5 лет назад +108

    Very important speech❤❤❤ A lot of people still believe that men are just not capable of controlling themselves.. And that is so wrong- men have the same ability of controlling their behaviours as women do! The only difference is that it is being excused all the time.

    • @joeyexos6567
      @joeyexos6567 4 года назад +2

      Never heard anybody say men are incapable of controlling themselves. You're comment ain't correct

    • @yj9005
      @yj9005 4 года назад +20

      ottis spunkmire I have heard that. Because they’re given excuses in society. They’ll say ‘he was tempted by her dress, he was unable to control himself.’ Because if you don’t have control in the first place, it’s easy to say it’s not their fault.

    • @joeyexos6567
      @joeyexos6567 4 года назад

      @@yj9005 do you believe men are incapable of controlling themselves?

    • @yj9005
      @yj9005 4 года назад +17

      ottis spunkmire no, I literally just said that society uses it as a scape goat to make it seem like they just are unable to keep themselves under control. Men have self control, as do women, so it’s not a reasonable excuse to say that men are just ‘unable to control themselves.’

    • @susaaalolila133
      @susaaalolila133 3 года назад +5

      J E I did :/ it‘s always the question, „what was she wearing?“ „she was asking for it“

  • @lizardltd7647
    @lizardltd7647 2 года назад +12

    As a man, this is such a strong and sad video. This feels so bizarre, alien like.
    How did it get to this?
    This video needs to get viral.

  • @totallyv7342
    @totallyv7342 3 года назад +35

    I could have cried knowing that this man wants to see the unspoken entitlement some men try to exercise over women. Hearing him say the men know what they are doing gives me confidence to put my foot down and end this nonsense in my household. We will be different. Thank you so much!

  • @ajeenaaalex4324
    @ajeenaaalex4324 3 года назад +10

    thankyou for stepping into our shoes😊

  • @barrocaspaula
    @barrocaspaula 6 лет назад +140

    One in three women will be the victim of violence in the family... That's so shameful.

    • @manskiptruck
      @manskiptruck 5 лет назад +7

      That's false

    • @qwertqwert1389
      @qwertqwert1389 5 лет назад +7

      Prove that. That's right you can't because it's not true.

    • @LWManiac
      @LWManiac 5 лет назад +7

      QWERT QWERT I mean, that’s what the guy in the talk said.

    • @LuciferXFallen290
      @LuciferXFallen290 5 лет назад

      Bzzt. Wrong.

    • @Kim-jo8px
      @Kim-jo8px 4 года назад +2

      That one in three figure is fake.

  • @amypieterse4127
    @amypieterse4127 4 года назад +16

    Thank you for this video. I think we should be having more active conversations about this issue.

    • @christiansoldier77
      @christiansoldier77 4 года назад +1

      amy pieterse Most of what this guy says is complete rubbish. Male privilege ??? Complete BS

    • @susaaalolila133
      @susaaalolila133 3 года назад +1

      Christian Soldier how is that bs?

    • @christiansoldier77
      @christiansoldier77 3 года назад +2

      @@susaaalolila133 Because there is no male privilege ? That is just political propaganda

    • @amypieterse4127
      @amypieterse4127 3 года назад +1

      @@christiansoldier77 how is it political propaganda?

    • @amypieterse4127
      @amypieterse4127 3 года назад +2

      @@christiansoldier77 male privilege is letting some old man decide to ban Serena Williams' Wakanda inspired body suit in the 2018 French Open. Even though the body suit was also for medical reasons, as she had recently had her baby and was suffering with blood clots at the time.
      Maybe because it deprived men from looking up her skirt?

  • @thisisntallowed9560
    @thisisntallowed9560 5 лет назад +92

    Also I feel like young boys are encouraged to be 'jerks' more than women because they see skipping school and taking drugs as being more masculine and seductive. That's their way of expressing their masculinity. I don't know how we could change that. Finding better ways to express masculinity?
    'leave your ideas down bellow'

    • @michaelsherwin3
      @michaelsherwin3 5 лет назад

      As a typical beta male and being pretty unsuccessful with girl at a school age, I can tell you that they are in a market place and girls respond more to "jerks" for lack of a better term.

    • @thisisntallowed9560
      @thisisntallowed9560 4 года назад +18

      @@michaelsherwin3 Jerks are more likely to approach women and are percieved as more confident. They also often like attention so they learn to be funny and make people/women laugh. They usually don't last very long with women I believe.
      It depends on what you define as ''jerks'' too, maybe they aren't really jerks and that's just the way you percieve them.
      Also younger women tend to have poor self-concept, they don't know what they like and are more likely to have low self-confidence/boundaries so they are more likely to go and stay with 'jerks', who are manipulative. These guys are often popular with women so maybe they feel that if they can get the guy it means they are good enough. These guys are also often good-looking and charming (they are/look masculine). 'good' women might be attracted to their opposite, since we are socialized as opposite.
      But yeah, it's interesting because other men probably take exemple on them.

    • @michaelsherwin3
      @michaelsherwin3 4 года назад +3

      @@thisisntallowed9560 100% agree. Id say they dont last with ONE women long. This type of male is more effective in school ages young adults.

    • @38Fanda
      @38Fanda 4 года назад

      lol that's how the military recruits men, you lose that ability, you lose your country's biggest defence source

    • @HeXeN7
      @HeXeN7 4 года назад +1

      One of reasons of this can be amicability. Women are more agreable so statistically they won't skip lessons as often as boys. Agreeablness works good in school also and that's why girls do better than boys in school but in work it works contrary.

  • @cclermont
    @cclermont 6 лет назад +136

    Wow - sobering and sad statistics.
    Well done video and good tips for making things better for women.

  • @dawnhapgood2907
    @dawnhapgood2907 3 года назад +28

    Interesting that when you describe what makes a man “manly” is how I would describe most women.... independent, logical, efficient, provider and protector of the family unit....etc.

    • @stregalilith
      @stregalilith 2 года назад +4

      Yes that's a perfect description of my beloved grandmother!

    • @blue-uv4mh
      @blue-uv4mh Год назад

      That‘s funnily exactly what I was thinking.

  • @jandrews6254
    @jandrews6254 6 лет назад +91

    My husband used to say, If you’d just do what you’re told there wouldn’t be a problem

    • @cclermont
      @cclermont 6 лет назад +19

      J Andrews sad

    • @embersatdusk
      @embersatdusk 5 лет назад +43

      I hope that if he didn't change his mind about that, you divorced him

    • @---nobody---
      @---nobody--- 5 лет назад +45

      Wow, that’s horrible. I hope you left him because everyone deserves to feel safe and be safe in their relationship.

    • @thefancyfailure4876
      @thefancyfailure4876 5 лет назад +25

      Is he dead now ?

    • @novakali9885
      @novakali9885 5 лет назад +4

      yeah, my partner now wishes I was more agreeable. Who cares if our philosophies don't match.

  • @Jodie_May92
    @Jodie_May92 3 года назад +22

    My response to “boys will be boys” is and always will be “only because we let them” 100% spot on, it’s an issue of socialisation.

    • @Cecilia-ky3uw
      @Cecilia-ky3uw 2 года назад +2

      its not only nurture nature plays a far greater role than you give it credit

    • @onlignebridge4224
      @onlignebridge4224 2 года назад

      And why "socoalization" has unfailingly socialized boys to be boys the world over?!

    • @onlignebridge4224
      @onlignebridge4224 2 года назад

      Why they do link violence and masculinity? Is prostitution related to feminity too?

    • @mahmoudkhodr166
      @mahmoudkhodr166 2 года назад +4

      The phrase "only because we let them" is wrong and presumptious. It should be worded very differently

    • @greatstoic2297
      @greatstoic2297 Год назад

      "Only because we let them"......hmmmm..so boys should never be allowed to be boys or what does this mean? If boys cant be boys should they be girls? Please explain

  • @tulipchic34
    @tulipchic34 3 года назад +5

    My ex was irritable and easily angered. It had nothing to do with his family and everything to do with him

  • @asaabrahamagulnik574
    @asaabrahamagulnik574 Год назад +2

    Just curious, if something is endemic in one country and endemic in other countries, why don't we call it a pandemic?

  • @stregalilith
    @stregalilith 2 года назад +2

    Responsibility. Look at the word: Response - Ability= the ability to respond. It's not a blame, it's a POWER. We must all use our ability to respond to a problem that hurts everyone. Men have more ability to respond to this issue because other men listen to them. Responsible men like Terry Crews, Jackson Katz, etc. are powerfully responding to this number one public health crisis, violence of some men toward men, women and children. This is the bottom line. It's very simple. I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't be behind this.

  • @CoffeeKrayzee
    @CoffeeKrayzee 3 года назад +1

    Amazing talk! So important!

  • @jaiedmonds5945
    @jaiedmonds5945 2 года назад +1

    This video deserves more than 88,000 views

  • @reallydoe2052
    @reallydoe2052 3 года назад

    Dope do more it’s needed

  • @urgith3035
    @urgith3035 3 года назад +4

    15:47 and there you screwed...

  • @Lisa-bs4bq
    @Lisa-bs4bq 3 года назад +2

    Bravo, well said

  • @cheryl5667
    @cheryl5667 5 лет назад +17

    thank you uuuuuuuuuuuugh! Thank you thank you thank you.

  • @paulwatson348
    @paulwatson348 4 года назад +5

    A man should be calm and peaceful

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +1

    MY car went missing before a premiers visit it was packed to leave DV. Men in uniforms moving vehicles. St Kilda Council, Premier Dept vehicles and Local press vehicles all parked in urban street residential parking spots. Lots of cars moved. The Vic Police Ministers letter to me "its not whether we were moving vehicles in the street or not, it's whether we moved your vehicle.... " Well, I was too tired and stressed to write back. That the construct that if youve moved 6 cars around mine on that day and the day before for a pollies press function.... maybe you made a mistake and moved mine too, mistakenly took all the things in the car etc etc.... Or maybe you did it on purpose????

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +1

    Do you ask these men how the women they hurt are living? How have they been accountable for their behavior? Does the state make sure these women have appropriate housing etc... MY exs brother was state attorney general and Deputy Premier introducing celebrities at White Ribbon Events in Federation Square. I could not walk into a police station. My car went missing before a premiers visit in St Kilda and the threat when I left was "me and my brother will get you." The first time I called St Kilda police I was told we dont do assault charges love....

  • @topgurl9313
    @topgurl9313 5 лет назад +27

    the people who disliked this video are horrible

    • @thisisntallowed9560
      @thisisntallowed9560 5 лет назад +11

      People who disliked this video are mostly people in denial who think women have it better. It's not that they think violence against women is good, mostly.

    • @topgurl9313
      @topgurl9313 5 лет назад +2

      @@thisisntallowed9560 I hope you're mostly right

    • @carolinemarchand4743
      @carolinemarchand4743 5 лет назад +2

      Probably insecure mama boys...

    • @greatstoic2297
      @greatstoic2297 Год назад +1

      Anyone who disagrees with you must be a horrible person. You have never ever been on the wrong side od the fence

  • @laken1804
    @laken1804 5 лет назад +22

    Most women are saying that they need a man who will protect them or make them feel safe; It's unfortunate that most men never understand that!

    • @thisisntallowed9560
      @thisisntallowed9560 5 лет назад +14

      I want a man who have empathy

    • @LuciferXFallen290
      @LuciferXFallen290 5 лет назад +4

      MOST? That's sexist

    • @piyachakraborty16
      @piyachakraborty16 5 лет назад +7

      A R A happy, equal relationship.

    • @carolinemarchand4743
      @carolinemarchand4743 5 лет назад +3

      I am quite efficient at defending myself, even physically if need be. I want a fun kind and down to earth man 😊

    • @dodododododododo8216
      @dodododododododo8216 4 года назад +13

      "men will protect them or make them feel safe"
      Nope, that's women's insecurity or attachment issues. Men should not do that, feminists don't want that either.
      What men should do is to not attack women and to not cause any trouble for anyone. (But men can defend themselves if they were attacked)

  • @larryquick4324
    @larryquick4324 4 года назад +2

    He is right. Se have to change our self.

  • @sovereignlife4901
    @sovereignlife4901 3 года назад

    Beautiful and powerful

  • @liteenergy4843
    @liteenergy4843 3 года назад +1

    Wish someone would address the prenatal stress and injury that is the result of these very negative behaviors as well as all the other negative and destructive effects.

  • @skyjust828
    @skyjust828 4 года назад +7

    the thing about being a battered woman that I really don't get is why can they control themselves when there are witnesses yet as soon as company is gone you're in for it? can anyone tell me this?

    • @joakimber8831
      @joakimber8831 3 года назад

      MY attacker gave me an example of on camera off camera behavior. It was also obvious that behavior in St Kilda was tolerated by all because of the suburb etc... but if we were in Brighton shopping he would not behave that way..... He would also say "look who my brother is - re his brothers political position - ... before I left his brother was on tv with the Victorian Police commissioner discussing DV.... Women on the DV Victorian Hotline had been telling me for sometime that I wasnt ready to leave yet and the then head of DV Victoria later became the Victims of Crime Commissioner, its not that you dont value their qualifications, its that sometimes you just dont put the people who made those big mistakes back in positions where they have failed before....

    • @SpottedPidge
      @SpottedPidge 5 месяцев назад

      Because like Danny said in the video, there's consequences for hitting your boss, but no consequences for hitting your partner behind closed doors. There's strength in numbers, witnesses mean consequences. It's unlikely she'll tell someone because she may not be believed, she may feel shame. But if witnesses see the abuse, her experience is validated.

  • @pentfold6534
    @pentfold6534 4 года назад +9

    It’s not being privileged it’s being treated properly

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +2

    I also note this voice is all about the statistics. I hear no mention of anger management scales. A basic count to 4 can decrease anger responses. Time out at 3 so you dont reach 3.5 of an anger management scale of 4 is really helpful. Tools like time out. Leave before an argument esculates, etc, etc, this talk esculates the discussion of the continuation of violence that feeds Danny and his collegues. YOUR anger is their income. Bring in the tools to change behavior and some of them are very simple and dont mean that alot of people have to give this much attention to this man in this Ted talk that is a circular discussion. He hasnt given a real answer to his own question. He has avoided the real discussion. etc etc. The undercurrent I hear is that Danny is trying to sound like he sides with the men, that he understands their emotions etc but that he is secretly on their team, but teaching them to be more subtle etc. This is not about tip toeing around this behavior, its about stopping the behavior. Thats it. NO more no less. As one smart young male taught me - your either this or your that. Its that simple. Its not about all this talk.

  • @jpkuro5688
    @jpkuro5688 5 лет назад +19

    I'm privilaged to loose custoty of my kids in 2 out of 3 cases,
    I'm privilaged to be laughted at in case of domestic violence or rape.
    I do not say the privilage he mentiones doesn't exists,
    but I'm against building this sort of privilage arguement to create a system of people who need to be edjucated and changed.
    Just because somebody is more privilaged then you doesn't mean he/she is the only one that needs to change things, he/she isn't the only one that is the problem that will fuel the solution. Just because you erase all "privilage" you create a perfect world. The focus on privilage is not a way to "equality" as far as I see it.
    Still it's just another opinion thrown into the waste spaceof youtube comments or in this case the smaller one we have on this old video

    • @nykal1510
      @nykal1510 3 года назад +4

      Whataboutism...

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +4

    Danny, I listened to you and I heard an undercurrent in your talk that I didnt like. This violence is not something to tread gently around, its not about definitions of masculinity or making men who commit violence feel comfortable.. Its about their behavior being wrong and them knowing their behavior is wrong. Its about these men projecting their abnoxious and cruel behavior on others. Setting people up to be "role models" when they have beaten their wives or families is not an appropriate connection. You want them to just not be violent. Its not about everything and everything. Its about not hitting people and if you do that there are consequences. Its about if you are at an anger management course you may be one of those people who has avoided the courty system. Its about creating a social norm that violence is not ok. Its not about asking them who they want to be its about not being violent. Its not about gently persuading a violent man to be nicer. Its about them learning. Them taking the steps to change their behavior. NOTHING MORE< nothing less. ITs not about them dumping their negative energy on the women they scare etc etc...

    • @stregalilith
      @stregalilith 2 года назад +2

      Yes that IS the bottom line. Please tell as many people as you can.

    • @tomcoburn5258
      @tomcoburn5258 2 года назад +2

      100% agree with this. That’s what I felt was missing from his talk

  • @anrose8335
    @anrose8335 4 года назад +3

    As far as who is the most intimidating is concerned, it seems to me intimidation has a lot to do with hormones. Male testosterone, not female estrogen produces in men a louder and deeper voice as well as tougher muscles in the typical man, which in turn is a built-in advantage for the man to become violent when angry. Yet even if a woman becomes equally angry she can only scream, which is usually counter-productive for her purpose. The man, on the other hand, can physically destroy the woman and she knows it. How sad to be born huMAN. Sadly too is the fact that very few of earth's nearly four billion men will apply their minds to the changes necessary and expressed in this enlightened talk given by Danny Blay.

    • @nchumnhumt
      @nchumnhumt 3 года назад

      And how devastating to be woman because there is no woman without MAN.

    • @onlignebridge4224
      @onlignebridge4224 2 года назад

      Why they do link violence and masculinity? Is prostitution related to feminity too?

  • @cayrenbarcay7286
    @cayrenbarcay7286 8 лет назад +16

    i want christina hoff summers the factual feminist in ted talks

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +1

    Plus, my attacker / weird relationship, who I ended up cleaning his fingernails in the psych ward whilst the then current psychiatric nurses stood not far away chain smoking and chatting with patients. You see for some nurses, the psych ward is their social life too. They encourage psych patients to go out with them... One woman was mounted on a nursing station saying she would go out with my ex for a beer. I wasnt worried about him going out with others, I was grateful if that happened. What I noted was that his psych team hadnt got it - that he went manic after 3 beers in a week, not in one evening, but in one week. If they hadnt any idea of the impact of a manic cycle on a man with a tendency towards hypersexual behavior and assaulting women and wanted to go out with him... well, that incident just about summed up the Alfred Hospital St Kilda ward. Plus, he was on a CTO at the time of the first assault. His psychiatric team had signed papers to say they were vicariously liable for his behavior as it was a form of guardianship. But the same person who signs this paper would be the supporting psychiatrist in court stating his patient had a mental illness....... not that he over and under medicated him. Played jury, judge and torturer all at tax payers expense... and had his own problems that I saw when he would be out at 7am buzzingly high with sunglasses on, stalking down our street and not able to contain his own responses. So, lets look at this system properly. Lets make real changes.Stop giving excuses Explanations yes, but you are letting these men just damage more and more people and its such a waste of everybodys time and energy.

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +1

    Making this a male issue means you have ignored half the population and again leaving women out of white ribbon events for example means these men do not have to face the people they have damaged or stand in front of a woman and be accountable.

    • @stregalilith
      @stregalilith 2 года назад +3

      The reason to include men is that we need everyone's participation to solve this and women have been saying this for years and no one listened, nothing changed. We need our brothers, our fathers, our husbands and lovers and our sons!

    • @maryannesweet6377
      @maryannesweet6377 4 месяца назад

      Men are aggressively ignoring, denying, minimising and blaming women. MBCs will mediate the conversation but it's rarely successful because men collude with others to reinforce abuses of power.

  • @eastbaysf
    @eastbaysf 5 лет назад +16

    Family ...and violence are two words that should not go together...but its true...its mostly found in the home. Women are never safe...ever...not at home or at work. I wish men would understand the privilege they have taken upon themselves and have stolen the freedom of women. Women live in fear and shame when they are asked about being beaten..and dont like to admit they are living in an abusive relationship.

    • @ZynVad3r1
      @ZynVad3r1 4 года назад

      This happened in the 1800s

    • @nchumnhumt
      @nchumnhumt 3 года назад +1

      Why do women always considered like you, that women are never safe even at home or work, that's wat before.

    • @arcane1282
      @arcane1282 2 года назад

      @@ZynVad3r1 it’s still happening in 2021

    • @ZynVad3r1
      @ZynVad3r1 2 года назад

      @@arcane1282 I does but it happens to everyone. You are never safe. Think like a pirate I always say, be paranoid

    • @onlignebridge4224
      @onlignebridge4224 2 года назад +1

      You are damn wrong. Thanks to MEN you are enjoying the good things of life. Cars/planes/roads/bridges/tunnels/ACs/fridges/TVs..etc...etc...MEN earned it ALL. Add to the list science theories/sports records...

  • @infobubble
    @infobubble 4 года назад +12

    If you want to help some one to understand the phenomenon called WHITE KNIGHT and Simp at once, just show them this video

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад +2

    A female psychiatrist at the Alfred Hospital used my desire to leave to fuel her energy to leave me trapped in fight so she could fly to Sydney to visit her fiance. I said I wanted to leave him, she told me to stay and left me in a room at the Alfred Hospital facing an aggressive in patient in front of another psychiatrist....... There needs to be consistent support from those that we are led to believe are our eminent professionals.

  • @iheartstar
    @iheartstar 2 месяца назад

    Algorithm push this vid out ffs

  • @93marenT
    @93marenT 4 года назад +1

    12:48 ...

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад

    It should cost you more until you correct it. Whilst there are these talks, the reality of workplaces, of social interactions, of AFL culture... even mentioning AFL is a sign that you dont really get it as yet. St Kilda Football team and the St Kilda football girl and the total denial of what happened at the time. The protectionof our boys, the destruction of our women. In editors terms, a bad news story is a damaged woman. A good news story is a man, no matter what hes done off camera smiling and telling you about the latest government policy or etc. etc.

  • @arcane1282
    @arcane1282 2 года назад +7

    To all the men in this comment section saying women don’t go through anything:
    “When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression”

  • @austinpierson3026
    @austinpierson3026 2 года назад

    Whose side are you on woman men may be privileged in some ways but women are very privileged in many ways that men are disadvantaged but you were raised right you ain't beating on your woman or your family

  • @adamsilesia5753
    @adamsilesia5753 4 года назад

    WALK A MILE IN HIS SHOES

  • @ja52ng74
    @ja52ng74 8 лет назад

    Cayren Barcay, BasedMom deserves better than this.

  • @hugomaritz692
    @hugomaritz692 4 года назад +10

    Men are overwhelming responsible for domestic violence? Really. Study after study has established that it's pretty much a 50/50 split. You say you work in this field - how is it possible that you are not aware of this? Now imagine it was possible to factor in something like emotional abuse? I don't mind this issue being addressed, it would be even better to see it addressed honestly.

    • @gabehopper6219
      @gabehopper6219 4 года назад +6

      generally people provide a link or source to their rebuttal claim, he's innocent unless otherwise proven guilty

    • @gabehopper6219
      @gabehopper6219 4 года назад +11

      @Entrenched Mgtow again where's your sources?

    • @greatstoic2297
      @greatstoic2297 Год назад

      @@gabehopper6219 I agree with you . Women are totally blameless.

  • @joakimber8831
    @joakimber8831 3 года назад

    NO you dont have to walk in her shoes. You have to respect her in her own shoes. I dont wish to wear your shoes, but I do wish to respect you in your shoes. Why would you think I would want you to walk in my shoes? Did you ask me if that is what I think will solve the problem, or did you decide that this is what we as men need to do? I would like to see women appropriately represented at white ribbon events and genuine accountability for behavior as part of that process.

    • @arcane1282
      @arcane1282 2 года назад

      🤨

    • @blue-uv4mh
      @blue-uv4mh Год назад

      I agree about the respect her in her own shoes part, but I‘d say that trying to understand what that does to women and people in general (walking in their shoes) is actually pretty vital. We need more empathy towards all kind of things and humans.
      Also they aren’t excluding eachother either. You can respect her and her story while trying to understand and feel it at the same time. That‘s what I would call support :)

  • @stanclark3992
    @stanclark3992 3 года назад +1

    The host is trying to do good. The simple truth, however, is the human psyche embodies all these psychological qualities. That's right, women too. This isn't the result of society alone, or a group... it's inherent in the individual. People can either be creative or destructive... both are realities and both are embodied in all of us. So it's not the fact that men are in charge... it's how responsible are the people in charge... and how responsible were we in placing them in charge. England still has royalty... what purpose does that serve? Yet their is always this talk about the Queen. Why is she (or he) relevant. I've just answered both the problem and the answer.

  • @Nuwamanya87
    @Nuwamanya87 3 года назад

    Most violence reported cases are just too petty n violence against men is rarely reported....

    • @onlignebridge4224
      @onlignebridge4224 2 года назад

      Why they do link violence and masculinity? Do they accept to relate prostitution to feminity too??

  • @joshfritz5345
    @joshfritz5345 5 лет назад +4

    While I agree with most of the first half of the video, the whole rant about male privilege didn't seem very relevant. I just don't see how any of it connects back to men being abusive.
    Abuse is a terrible issue, and it's an event that often isn't noticed. Sometimes people can be in an abusive relationship, physical or otherwise, and feel like they have no way out of it, struggle to seek help. Sometimes people are hesitant to leave even when given the option because they wouldn't know what to make of them self without their partner, even if being with their partner causes them to live in fear. I don't have a solution to it. It's an inherently difficult issue to solve since it tends to remain in the dark more often than not.

    • @onlignebridge4224
      @onlignebridge4224 2 года назад

      Why they do link violence and masculinity? Is prostitution related to feminity too?

    • @blue-uv4mh
      @blue-uv4mh Год назад

      I think it‘s about empathy

    • @blue-uv4mh
      @blue-uv4mh Год назад

      They know what they‘re doing when being violent, and since that often stays in the dark (unlike hitting the boss), one of the only remaining prevention is empathy. That‘s what the privilege part was about (in my opinion)

  • @surajoliver1
    @surajoliver1 2 года назад

    A man should always control his anger, however provocative, toxic the wife is. A man who raises his hand is fallen for the trap. The wife will remember and remind him for the rest of his life. Mediation is the key. Control your emotions.

  • @maryt7959
    @maryt7959 2 года назад +1

    Please 🥴 .. STOP making excuses for bad behavior!!!!

  • @SafeTrucking
    @SafeTrucking 8 лет назад +6

    Does she ever have an obligation to "walk a mile in his shoes"?

    • @favourasuelimen3146
      @favourasuelimen3146 6 лет назад +15

      Craig Minns Doesn't she always?

    • @warriorfortruth2838
      @warriorfortruth2838 6 лет назад

      obligation how?

    • @maryhunter6389
      @maryhunter6389 5 лет назад +52

      Women have to constantly walk in 'his shoes'. The whole world is constructed from a male perspective.
      Small example: when a star trek movie had a female lead there were a lot of guys complaining about it. Some even said 'how am I to identify with the lead if it's a girl?'. Don't they see the irony of that? Women have to identify with males all the time. Games that do not have female avatars, apps that do not have female avatars, more male leads in movies and series, etc.
      Even when we talk about issues concerning women, we get the 'but what about men!' It's time more men try out 'her shoes'. It is long overdue.

    • @dragibusdrawer8446
      @dragibusdrawer8446 5 лет назад +12

      Mary Hunter omg i was waiting for this comment thank you

    • @Rookie-xb6fo
      @Rookie-xb6fo 5 лет назад +3

      What do you mean by that, do you support any "reasob/excuse* for violence ?

  • @CrespoTorke8
    @CrespoTorke8 5 лет назад +3

    And the perspective is absolute bias

  • @wouldbegood
    @wouldbegood 5 лет назад +7

    What utter waffle.

    • @Grace0724
      @Grace0724 4 года назад +8

      which part of reliable statistics and personal experience with the issue is waffle?

  • @halfan100
    @halfan100 5 лет назад +12

    very weak speech that is. Talking about violence only on the physical level. Psychological violence can be as bad as that - but no word about that. He also gives a lot of statements that are just wrong, like boys will get more attention in school than girls, which is nonsense. All in all it is clear that if you start from false assumptions you mostly get to wrong conclusions.

    • @corvuscorone7735
      @corvuscorone7735 5 лет назад +4

      Psychological violence is also "transmitted" by behaviour again, though, just because he focusses on physical violence, doesn't mean the same doesn't go for manipulation, controlling, gaslighting, or any other psychological abusiveness you can think of. It comes about because the "partner" chooses to act in a certain abusive way. Behaviour.

    • @legessi
      @legessi 4 года назад

      He gives a lot of stats of violence against women, but why didn't he give any stats on violence against men from female perpetrators? He talked about 1 woman a week dies from domestic violence and ignores that 1 man ever 3 or 4 weeks also dies at the hands od their female partners? He talks about 1 in 3 but declines to mention the rate for men.
      Its almost like he had a predefined conclusion and cherry picked facts to get to that conclusion.

    • @stregalilith
      @stregalilith 2 года назад

      @@corvuscorone7735 Yeah! What YOU said!

    • @stregalilith
      @stregalilith 2 года назад

      @@legessi where are you getting your numbers?

    • @alanbeguivin9134
      @alanbeguivin9134 11 дней назад

      Yes, but women are champions in psychological violence:)

  • @Jhon_wick03
    @Jhon_wick03 8 месяцев назад

    reject modernity embrace masculinity

  • @abhishekkumre955
    @abhishekkumre955 5 лет назад

    Not necessary

  • @mahmoudkhodr166
    @mahmoudkhodr166 2 года назад

    To be honest this talk started really well..
    I'm not even going to bother wasting my time on explaining it because those who know, know. What a disappointing talk.

  • @johannesschutz780
    @johannesschutz780 6 лет назад +17

    It was a good talk until he started talking about male privilege and socialisation.

    • @jolashuk3226
      @jolashuk3226 6 лет назад +48

      Of course there's a comment about male privilege can't people just accept that it's real. I know that not everyone has experienced it but just look around you and maybe you'll notice the small injustices women face even if it's just being interrupted by a man who thinks she does have the words to express herself with out giving her the chance to. This no different then excepting wight privilege or monetary privilege. And yes men face injustices that women don't and those issues should be addressed but that doesn't mean you shouldn't address the clear privilege that men have in today's world.

    • @chelseaallen8927
      @chelseaallen8927 5 лет назад +18

      Truth hurts huh?

    • @thisisntallowed9560
      @thisisntallowed9560 5 лет назад +8

      Men faces injustices and women faces other types of injustice. Ignoring the injustice the other gender faces won't do anything good. We need to be concious of the injustice the other gender faces, so that we act according to this knowledge.

    • @arcane1282
      @arcane1282 2 года назад +2

      yeah until the truth hit huh

    • @alanbeguivin9134
      @alanbeguivin9134 11 дней назад

      Which privilege?

  • @walterpsotka278
    @walterpsotka278 5 лет назад +3

    This talk is out of date ... The pendulum has shifted !

    • @suziewheeler6530
      @suziewheeler6530 5 лет назад +11

      No it hasn't

    • @carolinemarchand4743
      @carolinemarchand4743 5 лет назад +9

      Absolutely not... dangerous way of thinking that enables those attitudes to keep going... is that what you’re trying to achieve?

    • @walterpsotka278
      @walterpsotka278 5 лет назад +1

      @@carolinemarchand4743 No Caroline - you're out of touch. Men and women are redefining their roles. Everyone is confused. This is no place for a blaming game.
      This RUclips posting is absolutely misleading and dangerous .

  • @SteveAubrey1762
    @SteveAubrey1762 8 лет назад +10

    Protector,heroic, brave,provider, self - reliant,loyal, those are not what comes to mind when we think of the modern metrosexual, pussified, feminized, male things you all have created. Violence is a necessary component of survival, but it is wrong to misuse that capability for violence toward women. MiF

    • @warriorfortruth2838
      @warriorfortruth2838 6 лет назад +23

      pussified right there is a derogatory term yo men think is okay to use to signiy a male is like a woman shame on you

    • @embersatdusk
      @embersatdusk 5 лет назад +3

      Aidid Rashed Efat don't just a country by one ruthless person you found on the internet. I agree that violence shouldn't be a part of day-to-day life, though.

    • @_aidid
      @_aidid 5 лет назад

      Jetgirl :D That's true, but I find many American men commenting badly(more like Muslims).
      However, are you a pilot?

    • @---nobody---
      @---nobody--- 5 лет назад +9

      People like you are the biggest part of the problem in society today.

    • @embersatdusk
      @embersatdusk 5 лет назад

      Aidid Rashed Efat What does being a pilot have to do with any of this...?