If Jacob was in love with Bella, because he "sensed" her future child in her, he should've also been in love with Edward, like 50/50 between the two, because Renesmee's DNA is half from each parent... and that's the love triangle I'd like to see...
And since sperm isn't like eggs (a woman has all of her eggs and they just mature over her lifetime) so if we're talking he's attracted to the specific half of the DNA... that was one confusing lead up to the wedding for him.
Considering the short life span of sperm, tho, would Jacob have been in love with Edward for a couple weeks then feel nothing until a new compatible sperm was produced? Like a really intense love/hate cycle predicated on the quality of Edward’s sperm?
My main issue with Twilight isn't that the relationship is problematic. It's the fact that Edward and Bella are so damn boring. If you are going to write thousands of pages worth of content, at least make the characters interesting.
I recommend reading the alternative character interpretation on TV Tropes and then rereading it from that mindset. They become horrifically unlikeable monsters, but their monstrosity makes them into interesting characters.
To be fair, SMeyer is a tad bit more talented of a writer than Gurg. She’s no Kurt Vonnegut, or course, but at least she has an editor instead of insisting that any grammatical errors in her works are “intentional stylistic choices” like a certain swamp boy.
@@user-mh7db7ei1s I agree that she's talented. For all the shit it gets, Twilight did capture millions of people and she deserves to have credit for that. I just meant when I read the first chapter of Midnight Sun I was SO surprised at how edgy Ed's inner thoughts were. And then when Alizee mentioned Onision, Ed's thoughts reminded me of one of his self insert characters lol I haven't read the books in ages so I forgot how pretentious Edward was
bruh fr her writing skills are better than the onion dude of course but if i was hearing the beggining without knowing it's a twilight book i would thought it was the fourth hell ride "book" written by mr grog
The argument about people just hating Twilight because young girls liked it goes completely out the window when you remember that Jacob literally falls in love with a newborn baby.
Worse- the soulmate bond came against his will and has twisted him into a child's devoted slave *and* he (of his own will) was seconds from killing that newborn and would have if not for accidental eye contact.
@@HeortirtheWoodwarden Jacob literally asks Edward if he should start calling him dad. Also every other imprint relationship demonstrated in the series is romantic. The one other dude who imprinted on a kid is pitied because he has to wait for her to grow up. Stop making excuses when the proof is right fucking there.
the way she could’ve just written a book from reneseme’s perspective once she reached 7 years of age or how she experiences life being a half breed 😭 SO MUCH POTENTIAL
This is gonna get long-winded but. . .I will always say that Twilight could have been excellent. . .in the hands of a different, more seasoned writer. Stephanie Meyer gets excellent ideas. . .but focused on the wrong parts of the idea (The Host, her other novel, is a good example of that). I would have loved a story that started with the forming of the Cullen coven, from Carlisle to Esme to Edward and so on, with focus on each character and their change and how they dealt with it (I would have LOVED more on Rosalie as she was my favorite Cullen). With Bella and Edward's romance being the ending section and not the forefront. I wanted more about the Volturi and the split between the "vegetarian vampires" and the traditional vampires--maybe even more about how other covens dealt with their surroundings. And maybe to have had Bella aged up, maybe even college aged instead of high school aged to make it less creepy in the age difference department (you know, maybe her brain could have been a little more developed than it was at 17). And less of a wet-paper napkin of a person. I honestly think Stephanie Meyer didn't expect the series to get as much attention as it did--like maybe Twilight would have been best as a stand-alone but it got milked and she started running out of ideas so she padded it with Renesme and the werewolves and all the stuff in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Also--I wish she would have made the relationship with Charlie a little more realistic and wouldn't have shat upon the man so much.
I would have loved to see more of Alice, she was my absolute favorite and kind of a comfort character despite how stupid the series was. I completely agree. also, the whole Jacob and Renesme thing was really creepy, it made me super uncomfortable, and for that reason, I never finished the last book and don't plan to.
I think a lot of vampire things if they didnt aim it at teen girls, like the vampire diaries does have soon good story lines and would be a lot better if it wasnt so aimed at girls. But maybe i just think that because im a man who loves all these 'girly' tv shows/films/books.
Edward blabbing on and on about insects made my eyes glaze over and I thought I heard the "windows shutting down sound" somewhere in the fog of my brain. I'll have to reboot before I continue watching the rest of the video. Thanks, Ed.
Honestly the only thing that ever made me emotional in the entirety of the Twilight books or films was when Bella had to be mean to her dad so that he'd let her go without questions. That broke my heart :(
I commented this on another video, but I think it bears repeating that Stephenie Meyer became even more of a billionaire by writing the exact same story with barely any details changed three times already. This woman wrote the same story three times and profited inmensively out of it. I am just still amazed about that fact. The same story. Three times. There are authors out there who kill to get one single story out there for the world to see and we just let his woman give us the same one three times.
It was explained in the books that the purpose of imprinting was whoever they imprinted on would be their best chance at passing on the werewolf gene. Which doesn't make sense that Jacob would imprint on Renesmee since she would be immortal. Like I genuinely never understood that. I remember when I was first reading the books and the imprinting happened, I literally said "What?!" I was a Twihard as a teenager and the older I get, the more questions I have. My boyfriend and I were just talking about Stephenie Meyer's vampires not that long ago and how unnecessarily overpowered they are so I'm glad you brought it up too. I wouldn't be surprised if after this cash grab, she relaunches the series from his point of view.
I honestly think she didn't remember the logic she herself had set up by that point lol I think she just felt bad for Jacob and was like "let's throw him a bone" in the form of a random, slightly creepy future love interest lmao
Tbf I'm pretty sure Smeyers never wrote if half vampires can or can't reproduce. Nessie grows and can eat human food and stuff, she might be able to have kids.
Its always bothered me because he is literally a carbon copy of my dad. Completely and totally passive and nonconfrontational, putting in minimal interest love and care, putting way too much space between the two of you. But thats literally the only way he knows how to show love. Yeah my dad is basically Charlie Swan.
I feel like he was so scarred from his divorce from Renee that it affected how he shows affection. He was already bad it and a quiet, shy guy, but now he’s scarred. When she left, he knew she had a child, but let her go probably because he thought someone else was more deserving. He and Edward are a lot alike in that way. Then you add in that he never knew how to parent and he never learned in the ways that most people do, as their kid grows. And to add into all of that, he wants her to love him as a father so badly and is treading on thin ice when anything major happens. He just wants to know his daughter and they’re just too alike and too awkward.
@@shoestringfries3418 People don't really change their entire personalities because of something that happened to them as adults (especially not divorce). If its something horrific they get ptsd. If his distant and strange behavior is caused by something it must've happened in his childhood and this is how he developed emotionally so he must've acted in a similar way all his life. The way people act and perceive certain things has a lot to do with their development
funny, I think he is the most honest and nicest person from all of the story. His communication skills are not good, but he cares so much for Bella, he is so scared of her safety and wants to talk to her but Bella always blocks him. One example: He prepared her room and she is just like: I´m not 10 anymore. But it is a sweet action, I think he just shows his love differently because he is not as good as others in such things like communication. But maybe I just remember it falsely? I think it would be interesting to hear his story and thoughts, so you can get where that lack of showing love and affection is coming from.
LOVED Twilight when I was a young teenager, but I know why. It reads like fanfiction. The whole, "unbelievably hot guy being madly in love and utterly devoted to me" trope is V popular. Part of me still finds twilight endearing tho, namely the first book.
This is because Mormons believe in something they call "pre-existance." Which means that all of our children that we will ever have throughout our entire lives r already beings with souls & all, that are just waiting in "heaven" to be conceived so they can come down to earth & reunite with their siblings (because they are all up their waiting together).
I honestly also felt really bad for Charlie because he was dumped by a flighty woman who took his kid away and whose child was alienated from him because she took her so far away and he seems so introverted/not in tune to his emotions or expressing them because of some possible trauma. Also, he probably wants Bella to call him dad and not treat him like a room mate because there are times where he tries to be a better parent and she just doesn't care for his feelings at all like beyond teenage angst levels. thanks for doing this review, I read the book recently too and you just brought up so many good points, enjoyed your video like always.
I remember an interview with Stephenie from waay back in the day, when asked if she would ever write more books, she said that Bella and Edward's story was over, and that if she forced herself to continue it (from their perspective) Bella would have grown to REGRET HER CHOICE!
That would actually be a way better series of her looking back and realizing how she could have lived a much more fulfilling life and realized some of her bad qualities, to grow as a “person” but she’s stuck now.
@@Blake1720breaking dawn should have been about her vampire life and facing the consequences of being a newborn being bloodlusted all the time. I mean why did they had to do the pregnancy drama. Bella being newborn could have been graphic too Imagine her killing a human in Forks for blood and the conflict of Cullens and tribe might have been better than Renesmee bs we got and Jake betraying the pack to fight Sam and becoming Alpha and imprinting on Leah. Bella facing the reality that vampires aren't angels and are animals. They could have done an arc where she is exiled from Forks separated from her family she and Ed become Nomads vampire and chased by a rival coven or enemy of Edward in past to get her powers or her being stalked by Volturi Just imagine the drama lol
@@Blake1720 Forever Dawn lol I write books too but, since no one reads I just comment in books randomly thinking what I would write in place of these book plots
I remember really wanting a full circle reason for Bella’s clumsiness. Before she was changed in the books I wanted her ‘extra vampire power’ to be that she was a Jinx. It made sense to me loll I was underwhelmed at how boring her being a ‘mind shield’ was.
Also, about the nonce part: in Breaking Dawn, when Bella gets pregnant, something is said how 'when you turn into a vampire, your body stays forever in the state it was then' so that female vampires can't have kids, but male can. I see how that could be used to defend Edward falling in love with a teen, having a teen brain (if he didn't think so highly of himself), but it would be so much more interesting if, due to all his neurons staying forever unchanged, he had a forever-1900s mind
I’m just upset that old mannerisms didn’t bleed through every now and then. It could have been an excellent way to portray a character. I think in the films I liked Emett(spelling check please), because of just how differently he carried himself from the others. He really acted the part of a dude who’s lived a long time and he didn’t really fully conform to the modern world. One would argue that life has changed dramatically in a hundred years. You don’t just forget the mannerisms from your childhood, they usually stick with you. I.e: “yes ma’am, no ma’am.” , “please and thank you” , holding the door open for people in America and letting it slam shut behind you in South Korea, etc. It’s a wasted opportunity to give depth to characters and set them aside from the humans in the scene imo.
The only Twilight book I want to read, and definitely would read, is Jasper and Alice's story. They are so much more interesting than Bella and Edward ever were to me.
On the note about the vampires being far too powerful, I can’t help but wonder how Steph Meyer would explain how the Vulturi could conduct their murder tours in this age when people could be live streaming at any given moment.
Just as you're explaining that their skin is hard and impenetrable like diamonds, I just got this flash image in my head of Stephanie Meyer in 2005, suddenly thinking to herself "if they're made of diamond they can't die... and they're... they're shiny - no one's ever done this, I am a genius!" LOL
The thing that has annoyed me the most with Stephanie Mayer's vampires is that she removed every single weakness vampires usually have, making them extremely boring and one-dimensional. I understand that something like a fear of garlic might've been weird for the tone of the books, but why WHY make them just SPARKLE in the sun??? Why couldn't they burn or sizzle or become hideous-looking in the sunlight? That would've been such an interesting add to the story and to the characters, but nooo, instead we got this emo fairyboy scene where he's dramatically crying over glitter.
Ikr like they should have some traditional traits, it would be cool if they get hit with small rays of sunlight they sparkle but if they are exposed to full sunlight they would burn, and it would be cool if smeyer did a book on vampire vs werewolf history
@Nina I'm pretty sure they're more vunerable to fire than humans at least. It seems to be fairly easy to burn them to ash once they've been delimbed and beheaded, meanwhile a human body is hard to burn completely like that. There's a reason cremation incinerators run at like 1000 c (1800 f).
Because she needed them to be able to go outdoors during the day so they could “go to school” 🙄 But you’re right the most annoying part that has always bugged my, which was brought up in this video is why are the vampires hiding? Give them a damn weakness and/or reason as to an entire super powered group would go into hiding… just like the grinwald series I never understood why the wizards didn’t take over the human world. 🤷♀️
I think Vamp diaries did that a little better where they had rings blessed by the witches I believe somethin like that they had rings that allowed them to be in daylight but not all of them had it
So I guess this confirms it. Edward's character flaws include self-deception and self-justification. Perfect mix for an eternally angsty stalkerish teenager vampire!
It still triggers me to no end that Bella becoming adrenaline junkie culminating in yeeting herself off a flippin cliff to hallucinate her ex boyfriend did not get any proper consequences because, heeeey, star-crossed lovers.
Stephanie Meyer is a Mormon which to each their own, however the Mormon church is filled with toxic masculinity and the idea the man saves the woman all the time and woman should be frail and vulnerable. Which is also why she doesn’t openly just say sex and all of that stuff, so it doesn’t surprise me that this series is filled with family and awkward characters and weird love. Not defending Twilight but yeah, her Mormon roots show through a ton.
Yep, I was raised in it, it sucks. It effects both genders in not so great ways. I remember my older brother getting barely any trouble for sleeping at his gf’s house, because he’s a guy and they trusted him not to do anything, as if guys are the only ones to insinuate sex. But, when I got older and started sleeping at my bf’s house, it was a way bigger deal. Also, the questions they only ask young men in interviews, like if they masturbate (they’re gonna assume you’re lying if you say no, so there’s no way to win). I think they might have changed that in current interviews, but it’s still messed up. I got a lot more examples, but I thought the ones I named were kinda relevant to your comment Lol
Odd Content I love that you brought this up. I converted in 2012 after being pressured by missionaries and then pretty much left in 2013. I was an adult when I converted and didn’t follow any of the WoW or pay tithing. I just kind of saw through all the bull crap and felt like I was wasting my time.
Val eria yep that part made me laugh so hard when I listened to the audiobook! Not to mention when they get married in Breaking Dawn when Bella is fresh out of high school and she gets pregnant like ASAP and her whole life just revolves around marriage and family and not maybe going to college and getting a career first and then doing the whole marriage and family thing. I know Edward is rich and everything but still the option of college and a career never even comes up.
Oh God Edward sounds just like Onision. -- I'm guilty of not liking to use "said", too. I just worry so much about redundancy. I've read such bad fanfic/lore... 🥲 -- Alice was regarded as insane/schizophrenic due to her visions... Sounds like that one actually makes sense. She can finally manage all those visions now. *shrug*
Charlie Swan deserved better 😩 the fact that she was so happy to finally be a vampire in Breaking Dawn pt 2 and so ready to move away and break the news to Charlie that she had died is...UGHHHH. Probably the reason why I don’t like her character at all 😂 so toxic that Edward was the only person important to her now. Blehh.
The fact that bella says by the end of the first book that edward is more important than everything else in the world.... like cringe.... not even touching on the other red flags but just that notion is so bad. Your world needs to be more than your romantic partner. And this would be okay if you argue, shes just a teenager.. of course shed think that BUT this mindset does not change through the entire series.... she does not grow as a character. And why should she when her creator (meyers) thinks Bella is just the greatest and most likable literature character of all time....
It’s annoying how she made him dislikable just because too many people shipped him with Bella. So what? Let your audience like who they like without purposefully sabotaging it.
From all the vampires I've seen on TV, I believe Marceline from Adventure time is the most interesting one when you think about her She's obviously more lame for just drinking red stuff instead of blood, but there is that mini series where she gains back her mortality because she says she became a vampire and was a messed up teenager, and thinks she needs to grow up. In the end she becomes a vampire again but happy because she gained mortal memories and is more grown up after roughly a week of being human. It's just an interesting idea I'd like to see in adult fiction, because Stephanie made her characters simple and superior to humans, but the idea of being stuck at a certain age and the conclusions you make about society and repeating history is interesting. Even the discussion about grooming could be interesting considering the perspecting of a being that doesn't age and gets used to seeing people grow up.
Adventure time as a whole is full of tropes I'd like to see more in fiction, esp with the relationship between parents and kids and how parents aren't completely perfect and you don't have to forgive them just because they're family. Also wholesome lesbian rep.
@@spookyplaguedoctor5714 I completly forgot that I ever wrote this comment lol, but I still think it's true, and I agree with you! It's funny how Adventure Time, a kids show, were the only ones that thought they'd take this concept of immortality and introduced more complex discussions that would make the tired vampire story a lot more appealing!
Clearly, Meyer never learned the rule about making sure every scene and every bit of dialog has a purpose. This book would have gotten an "F" in my creative writing class...
@@K.Marie119 I would looove for both Meyer and EL James to take a creative writing class and see what bad grades they would get. Then just watch James throw a Dance Moms level tantrum.
Her books were boring enough and then there was the disaster that was fifty shades, which was a fan fiction. And now SHE wrote fan fiction of her OWN books?!
I also distinctly remember reading them all because my friends loved them, but I HATED the Bella/Edward mix. Jacob was by far my pic for the first two and the character assassination thing and him loving her daughter made me so mad at the time. Like Stephanie knew she messed up and had to make him terrible to compensate.
People keep telling me I look like Bella swan, when I had a tinder account this Native American dude messaged me and the first thing he said to me was “please don’t choose Edward over me again, I’m better for you Bella! I can give you what you need, Edward isn’t good for you” that and Jessica Jones...
Guillermo de Baskerville Luke cage, frank castle or Wade Wilson lol... but yeah it’s always those creepy types like niceguys/neckbeards who say it too... the mirror between fiction and reality seems to super whoosh them 😅 (just to be clear I don’t think I look like either except maybe my flannel shirts, leather jacket, boots but that’s not all I wear lol)
As a pale af chick with dark hair I can relate... I don't wanna be rude when someone is trying to give me a compliment but with Jessica Jones I take it as one (even though I feel like they must be looking at someone else's profile) but as for Bella... no thank you!
mis Anthrope lol I do take the compliment dw (it’s take. Some practice but I tend to go with the “that’s sweet of you, thank you” type response cause yay for awkwardness... but when you greet me with that and nothing else and then turn out to be a r/niceguy and not want to talk unless I call you “Jacob” and respond to “Bella” I’m out 🤣🤣 like I get some people do find Bella swan attractive but cmon at least have some form of reality in the conversation. Us pale girls with dark hair should probably set up a support group with a group chat and SOS code words 😬😅
@@Hopeandpeaceinjesus I'm down and yeah of someone is unable to remember I am not in fact Bella, that's a problem. It's funny cuz I do think Kristen Stewart is genuinely beautiful but the character of Bellas odious to me lol but yeah the JJ comparison only gets worse when they find out I have an attitude, swear like a sailor, and have a tendency to wear leather jackets and combat boots in any weather lmao 😬
Yeah, the vamps are OP. The strongest of them is nowhere near Akasha from Anne Rice's books, but at least Rice only made a select few vampires amped up to god level. The others still retained all the regular weaknesses. Vamps NEED to be weak to the sun for their shadowy lifestyle to make sense.
Been asking this question for ages but still haven’t had an answer. After every single onlyfans review you’ve done I need to ask: Alizee onlyfans when?
It’s the way SM has gotten away with and made millions off of re-telling the same story for the past 12 years from different perspectives, Mormon queent 🤩🤩
Those sections of edward thinking sounded like a physics test Also i hate Stephanie mayer for brainwashing an entire generation to think that age gaps/men treating women like this is okay and that its excusable
I can't believe this book is that thick. The only reason I could work myself through the first book was that it was so short. On Edward, I was just thinking if that's what's going on in his head, he's the most boring vampire in the history of vampires. Insects, really? My headspace is more interesting and just a few minutes ago I was debating how much stuff I'd need to take off my bed to get hangers out of the storage underneath. I have a huge bed. It's quite a feat of logistics.
Alizee I literally listened to you read that first part and it sounded very familiar. I've never read Twilight or watched movies. It genuinely sounded like you were reading an Onion book.
i think this would have been really funny if smeyer had leaned into the fact he was 100 years old and he spoke with this super weird and jarring blend of slang from across the 100 years he'd been alive. The cats were all blowing their wigs about the new molly at school; already the clydesdales, the scrubs, every dead hoofer and ducky shincracker were on the make about her. Horsefeathers! I couldn't give a rat's ass about whatever everyone else is buggin' out over. It's all the same to me
Reading classic literature does not make someone mentally age faster lol. Only children think that. I've read a lot of classics. When I was 12 years old, I finished Oliver Twist, went into my older brother's room to tell him, and he first recommended that I read a Tale of Two Cities and then told me (from his top bunk bunk bed) that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was and I proceeded to cry in my room until he came in and told me jokes until I felt better. That entire memory feels like pure childhood to me. And it was centered around finishing a Dickens book lol
i just read the book too, i was so happy when i saw you posting it on your insta XD i just love how cringy twilight is, i will always love it, idgaf. i actually think them being so weird in the films makes is more realistic cos im a very awkward person myself, lol. but i did think this book was just dragging on so longgg in some parts and also.. i found abut 8 grammar and spelling errors XD gotta love the chaoticness of twilight, forever
Honestly I don’t think the movies get enough credit for how much they were able to improve on the story and characters. I think the movies are probably the best version you could get from those books, if not because the cast does such a great job and the movie cut out so many of those scenes in the books that could make them such slogs to get through sometimes. I’d even argue they improved a lot of things (like when Bella reveals she know Edward is a vampire). I honestly appreciate the movies even more after reading Midnight Sun.
This entire review was so much like my own thoughts reading Midnight Sun. I felt ashamed at some of the criticisms of it because you’re right, but my past 14 years old self loved it.
11:32 regarding the whole edward watching bella i swear she said/dipicted that he knew everyone on the block bc he was the scout for the family aka he broke into everyones house to make sure the family was okay and to keep watch.
I read the first three twilight books when they got big and I already was an adult. Those books made me so angry I threw one from the terrace onto the street, exactly because of what you said: abusive tendencies and abuse is portrayed as true love.
I was 7 when twilight started and like 15/16 when they ended I loved the books but thought the movies were cheesy and yea there were issues with their relationship...... 🤢 Alot of YA novels have weird problematic relationships as some weird quirky thing ✨
There is studies that as women age they are attracted to men around their age, but men stay attracted to women around 22 years old. Makes me think of Edward
@4:16 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR RIGHTFULLY POINTING THAT OUT!!! It's EXACTLY why I HATED Jacob after that and what her dad did BAFFLES me!!!! Shame on it being romanticized like that!! I could NEVER get over that part to this day!!!
Being so for real I thought the passage where Ed was describing how he was coming up with Bella’s song on the piano actually really drew me in for some reason
i lost the comment but i saw somebody saying that stephanie meyer’s mormon roots show through a lot, which is exactly what i was thinking and i want to point out some of those things as i was mormon until i was sixteen and my family is still extremely active. -most mormons (in utah, at least) get married right out of high school and have children within a few years. they’re convinced god tells you who to marry very quickly. i am 20 and so many of my former classmates are already married with kids. the point of a woman’s existence is to be a wife and mother, to support her husband’s god-given power. i was taught from the time i could walk to constantly pray for my future husband and be ready to support his power. bella falls in love with this guy without really knowing him and marries him at a ridiculously young age. nothing but edward matters to her anymore. her life is devoted to him and she’s a shell without him. she follows him around like a lost puppy, which a disturbing number of mormon women do. she leaves behind her entire life without question to follow around this dude. edward (and mormon men in general) seem to represent god. while this doctrine is very deep down and most members don’t ever know about it, mormons believe that you become a god when you die and control your own planet. edward is immortal, he’s got these special abilities, he is a god to bella.
I don’t know why, but I love your hair in this video. I couldn’t stop staring at it. It looks so healthy. Anyway...back to watching the video about twilight!
Cardboard or foam egg crates or boxes hot glued on a poster board (find a good size and place to help absorb extra sounds) can help with the echo in your new place
Especially when you kinda need the blood to be flowing to get a hard on. So the lack of blood flow prevents Rosalie from having a baby, but still lets Edward break the bed. Sounds like Rosalie’s plot was just a way to make her a bad woman to me tbh 🤷♂️
I think the idea was that female vampires don't have periods anymore because they get frozen in the moment of their cycle...meaning theoretically there might be some very very unfortunate vampires in perpetual period state😶
Very late answer but it's because female vampires can't ovulate so they can't "produce" a viable embryo but even if someone injected a vampire with a fertilized egg their body being perpetually frozen couldn't grow to accomodate a pregnancy.
If Jacob was in love with Bella, because he "sensed" her future child in her, he should've also been in love with Edward, like 50/50 between the two, because Renesmee's DNA is half from each parent... and that's the love triangle I'd like to see...
And since sperm isn't like eggs (a woman has all of her eggs and they just mature over her lifetime) so if we're talking he's attracted to the specific half of the DNA... that was one confusing lead up to the wedding for him.
what the hell
It's a fine line between love and hate.... (That's my suggestion for the fanfic title)
This is now canon and I need the fanfic in my life.
Considering the short life span of sperm, tho, would Jacob have been in love with Edward for a couple weeks then feel nothing until a new compatible sperm was produced? Like a really intense love/hate cycle predicated on the quality of Edward’s sperm?
The only thing that can top this video is Robert Pattinson does a review of this as well
And then I review Roberts review and he reviews my review and then we collab and review each other
@@AlizeeYeezy I love it
A review off
@@AlizeeYeezy and go have a sparkle party in the sunlight
Alizee so meta
I just want you to know that I play this while I’m cleaning and pretend I have friends over
We are your friends now Rhonda
i do it while playing games and pretend i have friends to play with
Alizee 🥺❤️
i shat my jorts ASSFFHH YOUR NAME 😂😭
I was doing the same whilst doing my laundry it’s not just you lol
When you find out Stephanie Meyer is Mormon, her characters and their actions make much more sense
It's still a big yikes from me
Truth. I grew up in that cult. That is why it always made sense why she made a book like she did.
.....wait how
Blue River Bane do you know anything about the Mormon religion?
Wait this just confuses me way way more. Why... What?
"Strap in, strap on..."
A-are you hitting on me?
My main issue with Twilight isn't that the relationship is problematic. It's the fact that Edward and Bella are so damn boring. If you are going to write thousands of pages worth of content, at least make the characters interesting.
Edward and Bella have to be two of the most uninteresting characters in the history of fiction.
I recommend reading the alternative character interpretation on TV Tropes and then rereading it from that mindset. They become horrifically unlikeable monsters, but their monstrosity makes them into interesting characters.
B-b-b-but! That would require actual talent as a writer...
@@hkazu63 I just checked out the interpretation after reading your comment. That was super interesting. Cheers!
Yes!! They are both so dull
If you inserted Edward's internal monologuing into one of onion boy's books, I wouldn't even notice...
To be fair, SMeyer is a tad bit more talented of a writer than Gurg. She’s no Kurt Vonnegut, or course, but at least she has an editor instead of insisting that any grammatical errors in her works are “intentional stylistic choices” like a certain swamp boy.
@@user-mh7db7ei1s I agree that she's talented. For all the shit it gets, Twilight did capture millions of people and she deserves to have credit for that. I just meant when I read the first chapter of Midnight Sun I was SO surprised at how edgy Ed's inner thoughts were. And then when Alizee mentioned Onision, Ed's thoughts reminded me of one of his self insert characters lol I haven't read the books in ages so I forgot how pretentious Edward was
bruh fr her writing skills are better than the onion dude of course but if i was hearing the beggining without knowing it's a twilight book i would thought it was the fourth hell ride "book" written by mr grog
LITERALLY
The argument about people just hating Twilight because young girls liked it goes completely out the window when you remember that Jacob literally falls in love with a newborn baby.
Yeah but people hated Twillight before the pedo shenanigans
@@angelikaskoroszyn8495 isn't the whole concept pedo shenanigans?
Worse- the soulmate bond came against his will and has twisted him into a child's devoted slave *and* he (of his own will) was seconds from killing that newborn and would have if not for accidental eye contact.
@@kerrychristensen7204 and to top that- it's his best friend's child
@@HeortirtheWoodwarden Jacob literally asks Edward if he should start calling him dad. Also every other imprint relationship demonstrated in the series is romantic. The one other dude who imprinted on a kid is pitied because he has to wait for her to grow up. Stop making excuses when the proof is right fucking there.
Edward really said “Let me interrupt our regularly scheduled Bella stalking to become a math textbook real quick”
Edward Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way
“omg(oth) dis comment!1” I gasped.
Lara GM *Gapsed.
Fangs (geddit?) For brining dis memry back outta the deepths of ma brian
" Strap in, Strap on" is my new favorite " let's jump into it" lmaoo
Nikocado Avocado just listed you as executive producer on his 10,000 calorie challenge video, at the very end
Omg hahaha. I wonder if he ever read her message...
Jessica Lansdowne, He did and they apparently chatted after that! Alizee talked about it in the comments of her latest Nikocado video.
@@lisaswe thanks for the update!
the way she could’ve just written a book from reneseme’s perspective once she reached 7 years of age or how she experiences life being a half breed 😭 SO MUCH POTENTIAL
Please no. She wouldn't be able to stop herself from writing love scenes with Jacob.
@Nina 😟
If only jacob/imprinting didnt exist
She is writing a book from her perspective 😭😂
@@yennefer440Wait, seriously?
Yes, let us all suffer together.
This is gonna get long-winded but. . .I will always say that Twilight could have been excellent. . .in the hands of a different, more seasoned writer. Stephanie Meyer gets excellent ideas. . .but focused on the wrong parts of the idea (The Host, her other novel, is a good example of that). I would have loved a story that started with the forming of the Cullen coven, from Carlisle to Esme to Edward and so on, with focus on each character and their change and how they dealt with it (I would have LOVED more on Rosalie as she was my favorite Cullen). With Bella and Edward's romance being the ending section and not the forefront. I wanted more about the Volturi and the split between the "vegetarian vampires" and the traditional vampires--maybe even more about how other covens dealt with their surroundings. And maybe to have had Bella aged up, maybe even college aged instead of high school aged to make it less creepy in the age difference department (you know, maybe her brain could have been a little more developed than it was at 17). And less of a wet-paper napkin of a person. I honestly think Stephanie Meyer didn't expect the series to get as much attention as it did--like maybe Twilight would have been best as a stand-alone but it got milked and she started running out of ideas so she padded it with Renesme and the werewolves and all the stuff in Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Also--I wish she would have made the relationship with Charlie a little more realistic and wouldn't have shat upon the man so much.
I would have loved to see more of Alice, she was my absolute favorite and kind of a comfort character despite how stupid the series was. I completely agree. also, the whole Jacob and Renesme thing was really creepy, it made me super uncomfortable, and for that reason, I never finished the last book and don't plan to.
I think a lot of vampire things if they didnt aim it at teen girls, like the vampire diaries does have soon good story lines and would be a lot better if it wasnt so aimed at girls. But maybe i just think that because im a man who loves all these 'girly' tv shows/films/books.
The Host could have been an interesting horror/thriller book in the right hands.
You've just made some great points in that comment. I think you should take up a career in writing my friend. ❤️❤️
WAIT SHE WROTE THE HOST??? NO WAY
Edward blabbing on and on about insects made my eyes glaze over and I thought I heard the "windows shutting down sound" somewhere in the fog of my brain. I'll have to reboot before I continue watching the rest of the video. Thanks, Ed.
Same
That part was so unnecessary and had literally no purpose. Was it supposed to show us that Edward was "a GeNiUs"??
@@cherry9787 w
Honestly the only thing that ever made me emotional in the entirety of the Twilight books or films was when Bella had to be mean to her dad so that he'd let her go without questions. That broke my heart :(
I commented this on another video, but I think it bears repeating that Stephenie Meyer became even more of a billionaire by writing the exact same story with barely any details changed three times already. This woman wrote the same story three times and profited inmensively out of it. I am just still amazed about that fact. The same story. Three times. There are authors out there who kill to get one single story out there for the world to see and we just let his woman give us the same one three times.
It was explained in the books that the purpose of imprinting was whoever they imprinted on would be their best chance at passing on the werewolf gene. Which doesn't make sense that Jacob would imprint on Renesmee since she would be immortal. Like I genuinely never understood that. I remember when I was first reading the books and the imprinting happened, I literally said "What?!" I was a Twihard as a teenager and the older I get, the more questions I have. My boyfriend and I were just talking about Stephenie Meyer's vampires not that long ago and how unnecessarily overpowered they are so I'm glad you brought it up too. I wouldn't be surprised if after this cash grab, she relaunches the series from his point of view.
I honestly think she didn't remember the logic she herself had set up by that point lol I think she just felt bad for Jacob and was like "let's throw him a bone" in the form of a random, slightly creepy future love interest lmao
Tbf I'm pretty sure Smeyers never wrote if half vampires can or can't reproduce. Nessie grows and can eat human food and stuff, she might be able to have kids.
I hear she plans to write a spin off with Jzcob and Renesmee
@@incw.2601 that's been a rumor for like a decade now
How does her being immortal make her unable to pass on vamp genes? I haven't read the books so I'm confused hehe
Bella's dad is the most passive parent ever lol he is more like an uninterested school hater teen of the house
Its always bothered me because he is literally a carbon copy of my dad. Completely and totally passive and nonconfrontational, putting in minimal interest love and care, putting way too much space between the two of you. But thats literally the only way he knows how to show love.
Yeah my dad is basically Charlie Swan.
I feel like he was so scarred from his divorce from Renee that it affected how he shows affection. He was already bad it and a quiet, shy guy, but now he’s scarred. When she left, he knew she had a child, but let her go probably because he thought someone else was more deserving. He and Edward are a lot alike in that way. Then you add in that he never knew how to parent and he never learned in the ways that most people do, as their kid grows. And to add into all of that, he wants her to love him as a father so badly and is treading on thin ice when anything major happens. He just wants to know his daughter and they’re just too alike and too awkward.
@@shoestringfries3418 Honestly, I think part of his lack of communication and distance is why Renee left him
@@shoestringfries3418 People don't really change their entire personalities because of something that happened to them as adults (especially not divorce). If its something horrific they get ptsd. If his distant and strange behavior is caused by something it must've happened in his childhood and this is how he developed emotionally so he must've acted in a similar way all his life. The way people act and perceive certain things has a lot to do with their development
funny, I think he is the most honest and nicest person from all of the story. His communication skills are not good, but he cares so much for Bella, he is so scared of her safety and wants to talk to her but Bella always blocks him. One example: He prepared her room and she is just like: I´m not 10 anymore. But it is a sweet action, I think he just shows his love differently because he is not as good as others in such things like communication. But maybe I just remember it falsely? I think it would be interesting to hear his story and thoughts, so you can get where that lack of showing love and affection is coming from.
LOVED Twilight when I was a young teenager, but I know why. It reads like fanfiction. The whole, "unbelievably hot guy being madly in love and utterly devoted to me" trope is V popular. Part of me still finds twilight endearing tho, namely the first book.
Meyer takes pro-life too far: she believes life starts BEFORE conception.
This is because Mormons believe in something they call "pre-existance." Which means that all of our children that we will ever have throughout our entire lives r already beings with souls & all, that are just waiting in "heaven" to be conceived so they can come down to earth & reunite with their siblings (because they are all up their waiting together).
"Strap in, strap on"
Hold on there, big boss, buy me dinner first
I honestly also felt really bad for Charlie because he was dumped by a flighty woman who took his kid away and whose child was alienated from him because she took her so far away and he seems so introverted/not in tune to his emotions or expressing them because of some possible trauma. Also, he probably wants Bella to call him dad and not treat him like a room mate because there are times where he tries to be a better parent and she just doesn't care for his feelings at all like beyond teenage angst levels. thanks for doing this review, I read the book recently too and you just brought up so many good points, enjoyed your video like always.
I remember an interview with Stephenie from waay back in the day, when asked if she would ever write more books, she said that Bella and Edward's story was over, and that if she forced herself to continue it (from their perspective) Bella would have grown to REGRET HER CHOICE!
Not much else interesting you can do is there
That would actually be a way better series of her looking back and realizing how she could have lived a much more fulfilling life and realized some of her bad qualities, to grow as a “person” but she’s stuck now.
@@Blake1720breaking dawn should have been about her vampire life and facing the consequences of being a newborn being bloodlusted all the time. I mean why did they had to do the pregnancy drama. Bella being newborn could have been graphic too
Imagine her killing a human in Forks for blood and the conflict of Cullens and tribe might have been better than Renesmee bs we got and Jake betraying the pack to fight Sam and becoming Alpha and imprinting on Leah.
Bella facing the reality that vampires aren't angels and are animals. They could have done an arc where she is exiled from Forks separated from her family she and Ed become Nomads vampire and chased by a rival coven or enemy of Edward in past to get her powers or her being stalked by Volturi
Just imagine the drama lol
@@rosec_rose6661 I wish you wrote twilight! Haha
@@Blake1720 Forever Dawn lol I write books too but, since no one reads I just comment in books randomly thinking what I would write in place of these book plots
I remember really wanting a full circle reason for Bella’s clumsiness. Before she was changed in the books I wanted her ‘extra vampire power’ to be that she was a Jinx. It made sense to me loll I was underwhelmed at how boring her being a ‘mind shield’ was.
That would be clever and fucking dope wtf stephanie
Tbh I doubt Meyers would have been clever enough for that jump - that would’ve been sooo cool tho
Bro, if you made it up to that point in the story and didn't expect Mary Sue shit to happen, that's on you.
@@Stitchpuppy01 I was in middle school? Lmfao
What kind of power would "jinx" be?
Also, about the nonce part: in Breaking Dawn, when Bella gets pregnant, something is said how 'when you turn into a vampire, your body stays forever in the state it was then' so that female vampires can't have kids, but male can. I see how that could be used to defend Edward falling in love with a teen, having a teen brain (if he didn't think so highly of himself), but it would be so much more interesting if, due to all his neurons staying forever unchanged, he had a forever-1900s mind
I’m just upset that old mannerisms didn’t bleed through every now and then. It could have been an excellent way to portray a character. I think in the films I liked Emett(spelling check please), because of just how differently he carried himself from the others. He really acted the part of a dude who’s lived a long time and he didn’t really fully conform to the modern world. One would argue that life has changed dramatically in a hundred years. You don’t just forget the mannerisms from your childhood, they usually stick with you. I.e: “yes ma’am, no ma’am.” , “please and thank you” , holding the door open for people in America and letting it slam shut behind you in South Korea, etc.
It’s a wasted opportunity to give depth to characters and set them aside from the humans in the scene imo.
Alizee doing gods work by saving us all time and money on Tana, Nikocado and now Twilight
Thank you and good luck.
The only Twilight book I want to read, and definitely would read, is Jasper and Alice's story. They are so much more interesting than Bella and Edward ever were to me.
On the note about the vampires being far too powerful, I can’t help but wonder how Steph Meyer would explain how the Vulturi could conduct their murder tours in this age when people could be live streaming at any given moment.
She would come up with some magical reason like, vampires can control if they are seen on film lol.
What we need is a book telling Rosalie’s story. Now THAT was an interesting plot.
First losing 360$ and now midnights sun? Poor alizee
Just as you're explaining that their skin is hard and impenetrable like diamonds, I just got this flash image in my head of Stephanie Meyer in 2005, suddenly thinking to herself "if they're made of diamond they can't die... and they're... they're shiny - no one's ever done this, I am a genius!" LOL
this reminds me of that monty python scene where witches burn because they made of wood, thus they float, thus they weigh the same as a duck.
The thing that has annoyed me the most with Stephanie Mayer's vampires is that she removed every single weakness vampires usually have, making them extremely boring and one-dimensional. I understand that something like a fear of garlic might've been weird for the tone of the books, but why WHY make them just SPARKLE in the sun??? Why couldn't they burn or sizzle or become hideous-looking in the sunlight? That would've been such an interesting add to the story and to the characters, but nooo, instead we got this emo fairyboy scene where he's dramatically crying over glitter.
Ikr like they should have some traditional traits, it would be cool if they get hit with small rays of sunlight they sparkle but if they are exposed to full sunlight they would burn, and it would be cool if smeyer did a book on vampire vs werewolf history
@Nina I'm pretty sure they're more vunerable to fire than humans at least. It seems to be fairly easy to burn them to ash once they've been delimbed and beheaded, meanwhile a human body is hard to burn completely like that. There's a reason cremation incinerators run at like 1000 c (1800 f).
Because she needed them to be able to go outdoors during the day so they could “go to school” 🙄 But you’re right the most annoying part that has always bugged my, which was brought up in this video is why are the vampires hiding? Give them a damn weakness and/or reason as to an entire super powered group would go into hiding… just like the grinwald series I never understood why the wizards didn’t take over the human world. 🤷♀️
yeah like at least give them a little lethargy? like they absolutely need to sleep at least x amount of hours every day or every month or something
I think Vamp diaries did that a little better where they had rings blessed by the witches I believe somethin like that they had rings that allowed them to be in daylight but not all of them had it
So I guess this confirms it. Edward's character flaws include self-deception and self-justification. Perfect mix for an eternally angsty stalkerish teenager vampire!
It still triggers me to no end that Bella becoming adrenaline junkie culminating in yeeting herself off a flippin cliff to hallucinate her ex boyfriend did not get any proper consequences because, heeeey, star-crossed lovers.
So the author was very successful at eliciting a strong emotional response from the audience. That is what good writers do.
Are we witnessing Alizee turning into a booktube channel ? 😂
book, onlyfans and reddit channel
She could do great
Stephanie Meyer is a Mormon which to each their own, however the Mormon church is filled with toxic masculinity and the idea the man saves the woman all the time and woman should be frail and vulnerable. Which is also why she doesn’t openly just say sex and all of that stuff, so it doesn’t surprise me that this series is filled with family and awkward characters and weird love. Not defending Twilight but yeah, her Mormon roots show through a ton.
Yep, I was raised in it, it sucks. It effects both genders in not so great ways.
I remember my older brother getting barely any trouble for sleeping at his gf’s house, because he’s a guy and they trusted him not to do anything, as if guys are the only ones to insinuate sex. But, when I got older and started sleeping at my bf’s house, it was a way bigger deal.
Also, the questions they only ask young men in interviews, like if they masturbate (they’re gonna assume you’re lying if you say no, so there’s no way to win). I think they might have changed that in current interviews, but it’s still messed up.
I got a lot more examples, but I thought the ones I named were kinda relevant to your comment Lol
you could really spot the mormon when edward got turned on by a khaki skirt lol
Odd Content I love that you brought this up. I converted in 2012 after being pressured by missionaries and then pretty much left in 2013. I was an adult when I converted and didn’t follow any of the WoW or pay tithing. I just kind of saw through all the bull crap and felt like I was wasting my time.
Val eria yep that part made me laugh so hard when I listened to the audiobook! Not to mention when they get married in Breaking Dawn when Bella is fresh out of high school and she gets pregnant like ASAP and her whole life just revolves around marriage and family and not maybe going to college and getting a career first and then doing the whole marriage and family thing. I know Edward is rich and everything but still the option of college and a career never even comes up.
You sound part of a dangerous ideology too.
Oh God Edward sounds just like Onision.
--
I'm guilty of not liking to use "said", too.
I just worry so much about redundancy.
I've read such bad fanfic/lore...
🥲
--
Alice was regarded as insane/schizophrenic due to her visions...
Sounds like that one actually makes sense. She can finally manage all those visions now. *shrug*
I’m sorry to do this Alizee but I have to know if you’re planning a video on the Paris Hilton documentary that apparently exists on her channel.
That would be awesome!
oh shit that actually sounds tight
Maybe!
It's so sad. Love her
I
The opening lines do sound strikingly similar to Stones to Abigail.
I can't wait for the Stephenie Meyer x Onision fanfictions
I hated the way they treated Charlie. Belle AND her tart of a mother treated him so badly.
Dude in the first book when she spat back the words Renee told him when she left him, I was like wtf?! Like that was so horrible.
Charlie Swan deserved better 😩 the fact that she was so happy to finally be a vampire in Breaking Dawn pt 2 and so ready to move away and break the news to Charlie that she had died is...UGHHHH. Probably the reason why I don’t like her character at all 😂 so toxic that Edward was the only person important to her now. Blehh.
How is her mother a tart?
Her mom was unhappy in forks and wanted a divorce, Charlie wasn’t what she wanted anymore. I don’t blame her he barely expresses his care for Bella.
The fact that bella says by the end of the first book that edward is more important than everything else in the world.... like cringe.... not even touching on the other red flags but just that notion is so bad. Your world needs to be more than your romantic partner. And this would be okay if you argue, shes just a teenager.. of course shed think that BUT this mindset does not change through the entire series.... she does not grow as a character. And why should she when her creator (meyers) thinks Bella is just the greatest and most likable literature character of all time....
Bruh, I can see her writing the whole series from JACOB'S perspective.
It’s annoying how she made him dislikable just because too many people shipped him with Bella. So what? Let your audience like who they like without purposefully sabotaging it.
From all the vampires I've seen on TV, I believe Marceline from Adventure time is the most interesting one when you think about her
She's obviously more lame for just drinking red stuff instead of blood, but there is that mini series where she gains back her mortality because she says she became a vampire and was a messed up teenager, and thinks she needs to grow up. In the end she becomes a vampire again but happy because she gained mortal memories and is more grown up after roughly a week of being human.
It's just an interesting idea I'd like to see in adult fiction, because Stephanie made her characters simple and superior to humans, but the idea of being stuck at a certain age and the conclusions you make about society and repeating history is interesting.
Even the discussion about grooming could be interesting considering the perspecting of a being that doesn't age and gets used to seeing people grow up.
Adventure time as a whole is full of tropes I'd like to see more in fiction, esp with the relationship between parents and kids and how parents aren't completely perfect and you don't have to forgive them just because they're family. Also wholesome lesbian rep.
@@spookyplaguedoctor5714 I completly forgot that I ever wrote this comment lol, but I still think it's true, and I agree with you!
It's funny how Adventure Time, a kids show, were the only ones that thought they'd take this concept of immortality and introduced more complex discussions that would make the tired vampire story a lot more appealing!
Edward: rambling about insects
Me: OH MY GOD WHO CARES!
Clearly, Meyer never learned the rule about making sure every scene and every bit of dialog has a purpose. This book would have gotten an "F" in my creative writing class...
@@K.Marie119 I would looove for both Meyer and EL James to take a creative writing class and see what bad grades they would get. Then just watch James throw a Dance Moms level tantrum.
@@tonichan89 For sure. You just know she'd be one of those who don't understand that popular ≠ good. Lol.
SM really said "no thoughts head empty" and made millions out of it🤩
Whenever Alizee reads something out loud, it always sounds like a joke. She could read Tolstoy and make it sound like a parody
Her books were boring enough and then there was the disaster that was fifty shades, which was a fan fiction. And now SHE wrote fan fiction of her OWN books?!
The matrix has began to break down Onision and Edward have performed a fusion transformation to form EdSion .
Edwision
I also distinctly remember reading them all because my friends loved them, but I HATED the Bella/Edward mix. Jacob was by far my pic for the first two and the character assassination thing and him loving her daughter made me so mad at the time. Like Stephanie knew she messed up and had to make him terrible to compensate.
People keep telling me I look like Bella swan, when I had a tinder account this Native American dude messaged me and the first thing he said to me was “please don’t choose Edward over me again, I’m better for you Bella! I can give you what you need, Edward isn’t good for you” that and Jessica Jones...
So people tell you that you look like fictionalfemake characters surrounded by creeps? Gosh I hope you find a Luke Cage...
Guillermo de Baskerville Luke cage, frank castle or Wade Wilson lol... but yeah it’s always those creepy types like niceguys/neckbeards who say it too... the mirror between fiction and reality seems to super whoosh them 😅 (just to be clear I don’t think I look like either except maybe my flannel shirts, leather jacket, boots but that’s not all I wear lol)
As a pale af chick with dark hair I can relate... I don't wanna be rude when someone is trying to give me a compliment but with Jessica Jones I take it as one (even though I feel like they must be looking at someone else's profile) but as for Bella... no thank you!
mis Anthrope lol I do take the compliment dw (it’s take. Some practice but I tend to go with the “that’s sweet of you, thank you” type response cause yay for awkwardness... but when you greet me with that and nothing else and then turn out to be a r/niceguy and not want to talk unless I call you “Jacob” and respond to “Bella” I’m out 🤣🤣 like I get some people do find Bella swan attractive but cmon at least have some form of reality in the conversation.
Us pale girls with dark hair should probably set up a support group with a group chat and SOS code words 😬😅
@@Hopeandpeaceinjesus I'm down and yeah of someone is unable to remember I am not in fact Bella, that's a problem. It's funny cuz I do think Kristen Stewart is genuinely beautiful but the character of Bellas odious to me lol but yeah the JJ comparison only gets worse when they find out I have an attitude, swear like a sailor, and have a tendency to wear leather jackets and combat boots in any weather lmao 😬
Yeah, the vamps are OP. The strongest of them is nowhere near Akasha from Anne Rice's books, but at least Rice only made a select few vampires amped up to god level. The others still retained all the regular weaknesses. Vamps NEED to be weak to the sun for their shadowy lifestyle to make sense.
Been asking this question for ages but still haven’t had an answer. After every single onlyfans review you’ve done I need to ask: Alizee onlyfans when?
Oh, yea. forget my question. This is all that matters.
Onlyfans but it's just my rats
Alizee would 100000% sub for that
@@AlizeeYeezy Your rats, and you and Robert Pattinson 'reviewing' each other...
Alizee onlyfans but it is you reviewing onlyfans without censoring
Strap in, strap on is now my new favorite phrase lol gave me a good laugh. Also if you’re unaware 50 Shades started as a Twilight fanfic so
"And then I left, knowing I would return while she was asleep" with "to Zanarkand" made my heart tremble a bit, ngl
It’s the way SM has gotten away with and made millions off of re-telling the same story for the past 12 years from different perspectives, Mormon queent 🤩🤩
Recycling queen
Girl boss!
'Why wouldn't the vampires take over the world governments?' EXCELLENT QUESTION maybe they should at this point
What makes you think they havent..?..
Those sections of edward thinking sounded like a physics test
Also i hate Stephanie mayer for brainwashing an entire generation to think that age gaps/men treating women like this is okay and that its excusable
SHE didn't teach anyone...the fans naturally felt drawn to this type of behavior....it's human genetics.
Holy shit... that one is like 3 or 4 times longer than "Twilight." He must do a whole lot of internal monologing.
Twilight was how I fell in love with Radiohead as a 9 year old girl. I don’t regret it.
I can't believe this book is that thick. The only reason I could work myself through the first book was that it was so short.
On Edward, I was just thinking if that's what's going on in his head, he's the most boring vampire in the history of vampires. Insects, really? My headspace is more interesting and just a few minutes ago I was debating how much stuff I'd need to take off my bed to get hangers out of the storage underneath. I have a huge bed. It's quite a feat of logistics.
my eyes glazed over during that spiel with edboy categorising animals & shit
20:31 "Omniscient or omnipresent? Who knows?"
An omniscient person would know. But who cares, am I right?
Alizee I literally listened to you read that first part and it sounded very familiar. I've never read Twilight or watched movies. It genuinely sounded like you were reading an Onion book.
I legit forgot this book existed... Thanks again for the suffering Alizee!
80% of this book should have been left in the drafts
i think this would have been really funny if smeyer had leaned into the fact he was 100 years old and he spoke with this super weird and jarring blend of slang from across the 100 years he'd been alive.
The cats were all blowing their wigs about the new molly at school; already the clydesdales, the scrubs, every dead hoofer and ducky shincracker were on the make about her. Horsefeathers! I couldn't give a rat's ass about whatever everyone else is buggin' out over. It's all the same to me
This was a work of art I’m so glad I don’t have to read this now gods bless Alizee Yeezy
You’re Alice and you’re seeing into the future of where you’re best mates with ol’ rob making tiktoks
I just watched Strange ÆONS’ review and I’m so happy about this.
Reading classic literature does not make someone mentally age faster lol. Only children think that.
I've read a lot of classics. When I was 12 years old, I finished Oliver Twist, went into my older brother's room to tell him, and he first recommended that I read a Tale of Two Cities and then told me (from his top bunk bunk bed) that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was and I proceeded to cry in my room until he came in and told me jokes until I felt better. That entire memory feels like pure childhood to me. And it was centered around finishing a Dickens book lol
i just read the book too, i was so happy when i saw you posting it on your insta XD i just love how cringy twilight is, i will always love it, idgaf. i actually think them being so weird in the films makes is more realistic cos im a very awkward person myself, lol. but i did think this book was just dragging on so longgg in some parts and also.. i found abut 8 grammar and spelling errors XD gotta love the chaoticness of twilight, forever
Honestly I don’t think the movies get enough credit for how much they were able to improve on the story and characters. I think the movies are probably the best version you could get from those books, if not because the cast does such a great job and the movie cut out so many of those scenes in the books that could make them such slogs to get through sometimes. I’d even argue they improved a lot of things (like when Bella reveals she know Edward is a vampire). I honestly appreciate the movies even more after reading Midnight Sun.
This entire review was so much like my own thoughts reading Midnight Sun. I felt ashamed at some of the criticisms of it because you’re right, but my past 14 years old self loved it.
Im so glad you mentioned the imprint thing... I always thought that was soooooo cringey
I thought i was the only one who had wondered if Jacob would fall in love with Renesme if she had been his daughter... YIKES
𝙎𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙏 𝙃𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝘼𝙇𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙈𝘼
you almost hitting yourself with a thick ass twilight book, gave me flash backs to middle school i didn’t think i had.
I was thinking "this sounds like Greg" and then you said "this sounds like onision" and I choked oh my GOD
11:32 regarding the whole edward watching bella i swear she said/dipicted that he knew everyone on the block bc he was the scout for the family aka he broke into everyones house to make sure the family was okay and to keep watch.
I read the first three twilight books when they got big and I already was an adult. Those books made me so angry I threw one from the terrace onto the street, exactly because of what you said: abusive tendencies and abuse is portrayed as true love.
You can't tell me theres no Lestats in this universe, becoming rockstars and telling humans exactly what they are for the fuck of it
The rumor is that the next book that SMeyer is planning on writing will be about Jacob and Renesme’s love story. I hope it’s not true because... *Ew*
So the moral of Jacob's storyline - if you get friend zoned by a girl, don't worry - just wait until she has a daughter! It's meant to be!
I was 7 when twilight started and like 15/16 when they ended I loved the books but thought the movies were cheesy and yea there were issues with their relationship...... 🤢 Alot of YA novels have weird problematic relationships as some weird quirky thing ✨
Wow I feel old reading this.
She said she wouldn’t write more from edwards POV because he is a very depressing character. So being in his head was exhausting and depressing too.
When you started reading my head started yelling ONISION goddammit he broke us all
There is studies that as women age they are attracted to men around their age, but men stay attracted to women around 22 years old. Makes me think of Edward
Leo DiCap is a good example 😬
@4:16 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR RIGHTFULLY POINTING THAT OUT!!! It's EXACTLY why I HATED Jacob after that and what her dad did BAFFLES me!!!! Shame on it being romanticized like that!! I could NEVER get over that part to this day!!!
As soon as you started reading the part about the birds and insects and shit, my brain was like, "Am I sure this isn't an Onision book?..."
I think that's one curtain that never should've been pulled back
Mr. Darcy move over, Edward Cullen is here...
Kayla G. Never
Mr. Darcy, the original emo bad boy 😁
Being so for real I thought the passage where Ed was describing how he was coming up with Bella’s song on the piano actually really drew me in for some reason
i lost the comment but i saw somebody saying that stephanie meyer’s mormon roots show through a lot, which is exactly what i was thinking and i want to point out some of those things as i was mormon until i was sixteen and my family is still extremely active.
-most mormons (in utah, at least) get married right out of high school and have children within a few years. they’re convinced god tells you who to marry very quickly. i am 20 and so many of my former classmates are already married with kids. the point of a woman’s existence is to be a wife and mother, to support her husband’s god-given power. i was taught from the time i could walk to constantly pray for my future husband and be ready to support his power. bella falls in love with this guy without really knowing him and marries him at a ridiculously young age. nothing but edward matters to her anymore. her life is devoted to him and she’s a shell without him. she follows him around like a lost puppy, which a disturbing number of mormon women do. she leaves behind her entire life without question to follow around this dude. edward (and mormon men in general) seem to represent god. while this doctrine is very deep down and most members don’t ever know about it, mormons believe that you become a god when you die and control your own planet. edward is immortal, he’s got these special abilities, he is a god to bella.
Oh thank the goddess this finally came across my radar - I really needed something to fall asleep to tonight
OMG you're right. I totally remember reading a long excerpt or some kind of part of that book YEARS ago. Damn, forgot about that.
4:12 What happened to Jacob in Eclipse was Meyer pulling the Die For Our Ship trope without the dying.
If Alizee is going to confess to Kristen Stewart being her girl crush, I`ll say who mine is. It`s you Alizee. You`re awesome!
I don’t know why, but I love your hair in this video. I couldn’t stop staring at it. It looks so healthy. Anyway...back to watching the video about twilight!
Cardboard or foam egg crates or boxes hot glued on a poster board (find a good size and place to help absorb extra sounds) can help with the echo in your new place
still makes no sense that Rosalie couldn't get pregnant bc she's a vampire but Edward can impregnate Bella
Especially when you kinda need the blood to be flowing to get a hard on. So the lack of blood flow prevents Rosalie from having a baby, but still lets Edward break the bed. Sounds like Rosalie’s plot was just a way to make her a bad woman to me tbh 🤷♂️
BeCaUsE bElLa'S sPeCiAl!!! Lmao
I thought it supposed to be that female vampires are infertile but males aren’t
I think the idea was that female vampires don't have periods anymore because they get frozen in the moment of their cycle...meaning theoretically there might be some very very unfortunate vampires in perpetual period state😶
Very late answer but it's because female vampires can't ovulate so they can't "produce" a viable embryo but even if someone injected a vampire with a fertilized egg their body being perpetually frozen couldn't grow to accomodate a pregnancy.