Were you invisible growing up?
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- Опубликовано: 1 июн 2024
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Key Points
00:00 - Glass Child
00:18 - 5 signs you grew up as the glass child
01:00 - Who is the glass child?
01:35 - Adult impact of being a glass child
02:28 - How to heal
Sending SO much unconditional love to my fellow invisibles 💙🙏
😂
back at you! ❤❤
Same to you❤
Same to you!
Definitely was me growing up! Now in my 30s I'm having a second childhood. I just learned my favourite colour is pink! ❤
Love this ❤ I'm doing similar now at 40!
I'm doing the same too. Go outside and look at clouds with your head thrown completely back and your mouth gaping open. It feels great! The sky is amazing!
Wow this is inspiring, I'm approaching 30 and now I'm excited to have a second childhood!
Nice! Good for you. I recently learned that i have a big interest in barbies. Lol
@@katherinenicholson9752 That's cool! 👍
I literally just stated last night about how “ I had to be perfect to be seen & it was still not enough” this message was delivered in divine timing! Thank you for helping us feel seen.
I feel you. "And still it is not enough" is a clear sign of narcissistic trait. Your family must be very perturbed...
This is really tough. I hope you have healed from this as it is a very tough thing to go through as a child and can stay with us as adults ❤
Setting 0 contact with my whole family is opening up a new grieving phase for me.
I've done it, and it was hard. But now, after 2 years, I am doing so much better!
I cut ties with my step dad when he assaulted me as a teenager. I cut ties with my mother in my early 30s, almost a decade ago, and it has been the best thing I ever did. I have low contact with my toxic brother. Yes, I get sad in occasions where people celebrate family, but love were never loving family, so it was never there, not like losing a loving parent to death.
I went no contact and changed my number and address for 10 years. I get it. I grieved, and healed.
Hugs and comfort. 😢
@@the.toxic.phoenix when you envy others at Christmas, but recognizing: Well I wouldn't have harmony there anyway... So I might as well be with buddies.
Being invisible was my safety mechanism. When I was seen, it was usually in a negative way. I could never be perfect enough. I honestly don't recall ever hearing, " Good job." Or, "I'm proud of you." Or, "I love you." And there were no hugs, kisses or gentle touches.
This one really hit hard. I can't believe how much I'm crying. But I will definitely try to set boundaries. No one ever knew when I was ill as a child or if anything at all was good or bad in my world. So I never expect anyone to care. I simply care for everyone until I feel I have nothing left. I know I must never let myself stay in relationships with extreme takers.
You have just written my life. Take care x
@@offhome6484 you as well ❤️
“I simply care for everyone until I have nothing left” speaks so loudly to me.
"I never expect anyone to care." that hit home for me 😞 I realized that I have no expectations from others when it comes to caring for myself.
U hav just described my life
The only time I wasn’t invisible was when the family needed a scapegoat to blame everything on
I was the invisible child. I often would think and say to myself “no-one will notice anyway”. I spent most of my childhood being passive, afraid to speak up and thinking I was unworthy of love. My parents favoured my older sister who was argumentative and domineering. I also felt that they favoured her over me because I think they thought her more physically attractive. I believed all of this right into and during my adulthood…I would consider her better than me…she thrived on this dynamic. And I’m afraid my parents kept it like this.
I have worked extensively on my healing for several years. The biggest breakthrough was when I joined a community club filled with people who were capable and willing to get to know me. I learnt that I was likable and worthy of attention and respect, and importantly I was able to contribute to others' well-being without compromising my own.
I still have to distance myself from my sister as I feel I will become invisible again because she will continue to demand the spotlight…and put me down to help with her feelings of superiority.
Otherwise known as CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect) I not only grieve and console my inner child for the past, but also for how my parents are still alive and they don't know me and they are too self-involved/emotionally immature to care about me now
I started to evolve and heal only after I lost my parents.
My dad passed last year. The grief is horrendous. I hear you both❤ it is extremely difficult moving through this. My inner child is so confused because of being so enmeshed
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. I wish for you as much love and peace as your heart can bear.
@@lauramytunes I'm experiencing this also. My mother passed away almost four months ago. I was the glass child. I was enmeshed with her. I only felt safe when I was with her. But she did not give me the love or attention I needed. I was hoping my entire life that I would get what I needed from her, but now she's gone and I never will. I was the only one with her when she died. It was traumatic. None of my siblings, three of them, would stay with her that night.
I'm devastated and yes, confused.
@@janeem4371 i am sorry you experienced that. It is incredibly scary to not feel safe. I dont feel safe around her or not around her and my dad is parr to blame for that too. Like a constant threat at any moment. 💛 hang in there! 💪😔✨️🙌🙏thank you for sharing
I was the glass child in my home. My sister was always catered too when we were young. At first it was because she was born sickly and later she in teen age years it was because she would be explosive when things didn’t go her way. As the younger of the two, i learned to just shut down, keep the peace, and live in fear. I allowed my sister to dictate my lifestyle choices such as clothes, hairstyles, etc. that I had no idea who is was nor what I want. I am now healing, been in my journey for 2 years and learning how use my voice, but still figuring myself out.
I was not your sister that dictated your life it was due to your parents. They are the problem, not your sister. They were not able to handle the situation healthy and I am sure, if someone asked your sister about her life, she would tell, too, how unhappy she was and is. This is all part of a toxic familiy, neither you nor your sister are the problem. Wish you well.
Hope you recover soon ❤
Bruh, this is too accurate. As someone who's the middle child, this is so true. This explains why I do so many things by myself, and I hate asking people to do things with me, because I feel like a burden. =_=
My sister caused so much trouble when I was a child that I told myself the story that if I was everything she was not, I would become less of a burden to my family. Today is the day that I feel totally disconnected from them. I mean, I love them but I feel that I don't belong. Just this week I learned that I'm constantly seeking that sense of community. I've been trying to embrace my inner child and let her know that is alright now, that I have her back, but it's still a process. Most of my days I just want to run away and be as far as I can from them, but then, they're all I have.
They don't have to *stay* all that you have, though. You deserve to have people whose company you enjoy and who reciprocate your care. Build your own family, with or without them, where everyone in it matters to everyone else.
The desire to run away and find my own thing has always been huge in my life. I didn’t realize (until today) why that was.
It sounds like a complicated dynamic, you being good, your sister creating distractions. I wonder, was there a lot of arguing in the home? Kids will respond in different ways to this. Check out 'internal family systems'.
I feel so disconnected frm my family and i feel so exhausted from just being with myself. Its like I just want to sleep & never wake up
So much of this is me. I have never had any way to describe why I am the way I am and now I know. Thank you for sharing this. I am 57 and felt this way my whole life.
Wishing you best of luck on healing this! I see you ❤
This is me! My sister took up all the energy. I tried to be invisible by doing well at school and never making waves. Would love to know how to build self identity.
It's time to get curious about yourself! I would say to start with exploring new things. Are there any interests that you feel pulled toward? Perhaps start there.
Only way your sister “took your energy “ is because you gave it.
And you gave it by resenting her.
Resentment identifies with you as you identify with it.
Drop the resentment = changes your identity
@@freshliving4199Agree...
I was definitely invisible. Can still remember "don't bother us! Now it's adults talking! Go to your room until we call you!". And then you're expected to form normal relationships with complete strangers... what a laugh.
Authoritarian parents
I was like this for almost 50 years. Then I broke. I can't seem to do anything for myself or anyone else. I'm alone, I've lost everything, and even when I do ask for help now, I get none. I'm at the end of my rope.
I feel this so deeply and I want you to know you’re not alone. Don’t give up, we are all here together trying to heal. Sending hugs ❤
Although I don't know you, but I do care about you, and I hope you feel good.
@@mmn8488 Thank you. As they say, time heals just a little bit. I learned a long time ago to keep moving forward (Just keep swimming! Like Dory Fish) so I do. *Virtual hugs*
This is me. Middle child, always trying to seek approval and on that journey I lost my sense of identity, doing and achieving things I didn’t want to in the first place. I left my home country, took risks and that unveiled the reality of my family dynamic, my role in it (which matches with the description in this video) and how my parents were always “familiar strangers”. Now in my thirties, I am grieving while at the same time asking consciously to my self “who am I?” And what I want to build from now on.
Thank you 🌹
Sending love to all of us who felt that we didn’t matter ❤
I didnt know this had a name. I am the middle child of two special needs siblings. My parents did their best but you just described me.
I’ve been trying to work through things. Grieving for the childhood I could have had has been huge.
❤️
Variation: I’m not worth noticing, except for my flaws, which are never overlooked. My caregivers always call attention to them. So helpful!
This was me. Fiercely independent. I do everything and have never once asked for help. Struggling with self worth. Had to discover who I was .
I come from a family of loud argumentive, domineering personalities. My older brother once said everyone is a chief and I was the only indian. Same brother asked me in a text if i wanted to listen to him read from a book about boundaries on the phone. I said NO! I want to be respected and treated as a human being! Not yelled at, emotionally abused or accused of things he himself was guilty of.
Its not that i don't have boundaries, certian personality types don't respect boundaries!
😭😭 I've called myself invisible since childhood. I've struggled my entire lifetime. Not enough room to give all the details. I've worked hard with multiple therapists and self help teachings. The past 5 years I've been totally shut down. I've made progress. But just today, I've been hit emotionally from my 4th (25) of 5 children and my husband. Just as I've been regaining my confidence. Just as my 5th is moving away from home. (23)
I'm inbso much pain right now. I actually feel blindsided today. I'm unsure of my next steps right now. I'll breathe and yes- resilient I am. Thank you for all the work you do for all of us suffering. 💜
Omg, that's 100% me! 47 yrs old and still invisible. Also have been dealing with multiple chronic illnesses for most of my life..
I have very few memories of childhood, and the ones I do have are not fun or loving. I was parentified, with an abusive narcissistic step father and an emotionally unavailable / sociopathic mother. I was never hugged or told "I love you" and I could never ask for help, or stop and relax. I'm glad to have cut ties with them, but it is sad to look back, but made me strive to be the best mum I could possibly be. I love this channel so much. I have low contact with my brother, the golden child, who conveniently doesn't remember the abuse or me basically raising him, and seems to be following in his dad's footsteps. My childhood conditioning led me into a series of toxic relationships and abusive marriage. I can see more clearly now, with education and support, so I really hope others get the knowledge before the trauma, to stop the generational cycles.
You are not alone in this. I had a very similar experience and my brother has recently been diagnosed as a narc. I find this funny because most narcs never get diagnosed!
You may find Melanie Hamlett's channel about men helpful -- it will probably make you angry at first, because she talks about how men exploit women under the patriarchy. I spotted the patterns in all of my relationships with men, and I even wound up suing a client who felt entitled to my unpaid labor after watching her videos.
As women, we actually need to build up our egos and be more entitled. So much has been taken from us and our female ancestors. We are changing things. As upsetting and maddening as it all is, it hasn't been a waste. Most of our issues as women really weren't our fault and I think we have to stop taking responsibility for them.
Hope that helps! xo
Glass child here. Really busy parents. Small sister with special needs that I needed to attend. My older sister was assertive and dominant she would get the little attention that my parents could give. Me? Hyperindependent, pacifier of family conflicts, emotional caretaker of everyone in my family and chronically suppressing my needs, emotions etc.
I play the same role in any group of friends I'm in.
Trying to be myself, express my needs, ask for what I want, show frustration... really hard to do because I feel like a burden.
Wanted to share with you.
Big hugs to any glass child trying to express and discover themselves
That is me...but when I tuerned 18 years old until I was 28 I did stupid things and mess things up, became unbearable I rebeled. I´m 52 years old now and worked on myself until I had no one else to turn to so Jesus came into my life. Now I´m healed! really healed.
Thanks for helping people make themselves visible again.
Still healing from this. It's taking consistent and deliberate effort to set boundaries, express my needs and speak my mind - despite the discomfort, shame and fear doing so triggers. Over time, I'm seeing that it's really helping and people are starting to "see" me more and more. Feels so much better! Fantastic video.
Glad you are feeling so much better after this. Nice to hear ❤
I was the glass child in my family, everything said, hit the nail on the head.
I was always told "you're always the responsible one" and "you're an old soul." I wanted to express myself, dozens of times, I wasn't allowed to say "no" or be angry because something didn't go my way.
I wasn't allowed to have a shared identity with my siblings, or have an identity that was too aggressive. I had to live by their rules even if it meant I don't ever have a say.
After joining the military, and getting help from people who see me for who I am, I've managed to call my family out for their abusive tendencies, and I've gone almost zero contact with the lot of them.
I would like to build a new relationship with my family as the person I have become, but they feel more comfortable to try and rebuild the relationship of who I was.
Regardless, I have boundaries now, I know how to say "no" and I don't let manipulative people in my life.
This is me more than any of the other. I have even referred to myself self as wallpaper I blend in to the background so well that you don't even know I'm there.
I'm doing all of this and it gets so much lighter to just live.
Little chaotic to do it together with my other mental health issues, but being able to standing up for myself is the greatest feeling in the world.
congrats on your growth ❤
This has been something I am struggling with. I’m 43 and barely know who I am. I revert to the unseen person in family social settings. I feel a lack of connection to others and self. I am finally starting to dream up a new life for myself and healing through the lack of support I was given.
I was definitely the glass child and I'm now in my 50's and I still feel invisible. There is no support when I was bullied at school or when I had an abusive boyfriend. I feel even more invisible now since my husband died of ALS & he was my soulmate and truly loved me & saw me. Now I'm in a position where I have to take care of my parents needs & my stress is off the charts. I have a counselor and she recommended the holistic psychologist. I'm reading How to be the Love you Seek and it's excellent! Very informative and eye-opening!
Still getting there, but learning how to Speak up and Take up space is so hard. Had goten to know myself and my tastes but its hard not to fall into invisible, silence patterns... Lots of love and grace folks! ❤
While in middle school I discovered that no matter what, nobody will going to see me and then I stopped to be a pleaser. Then I was labeled as “problematic”
I was an only child and mom worked and I literally stayed home alone since age of 6. Only the last one was true for me…I absolutely rebelled.
Being invisible was by far the best strategy.
I literally jumped up and down waving my arms in front of my mom once begging her to acknowledge my existence as she continued to look through me like I wasn’t even there. “Glass child” hits hard
Presumably one can be both a glass child and other things, like a scapegoat.
That little stick figure and its inner thoughts hit me right in the stomach. Oof.
The dates thing is an interesting idea. Can confirm, it feels really weird but really intriguing to learn who you actually are and what you're into. When I first decorated a room with things I bought for myself--and this was after grad school--it was such a new experience. To reflect on who I was, and see that that was a pretty cool person. And then, being reminded of this or that interest, so I engaged with it more, and enjoyed life more. It's something no one ever tells you about but it's so crucial.
I was the glass child until the scapegoat moved out, then became the scapegoat. This is spot on
I always thought something was wrong with me. I'm the oldest of 4 kids, one with ADHD and then two young children at the same time. I was often left to babysit my siblings when I was only 8 (with one toddler and one infant).
When my parents divorced, I blamed myself, thinking that if I had been better maybe they wouldn't have divorced. I found myself being the emotional sponge for both parents, listening to their issues with each other without sharing what one another had said.
I grew up believing that my issues, my problems, my wants, and even at times my needs, were less important than my siblings', even more because both parents expressed to me their financial troubles.
I just started therapy last week, so I'm hoping I can truely start the healing process
Not just a glass child but a glass adult as well. I went to my parents house few months back to live for a while when my husband moved abroad. It was all the same. I have had healed from my childhood, as i think. But I got new wounds just like my old ones once again. Nd this time I can't bear it cause i see it. Know it that its wrong. They always make me feel like am a burden, stop talking to me, when i talk or ask something they pose like they didn't hear me. It was like they were angry because I overslept( i had a newborn to feed all night) and still in morning everyone was different like am suddenly invisible, on my own with my two kids. I felt terrible. And never wana go back there again. The day i was coming back from there my mother apologised and cried saying she's sorry sometimes she says something because shes been angry. I said its ok let go. But deep down I cannot accept this apology. They sent me back in survival mode that also hurt my children when i was not able to meet theri needs and also was not able to ask help. While everyone watched me struggle between my newborn and toddler nobody offered help when both will be crying for attention and i was trying to pick one soothe him and then hold other to soothe. It was a hell i cannot heal from
I have struggled a lot with people pleasing, I even got messages from my mom that I needed to entertain certain friends to keep them as a friend. I always sort of felt like the middle child even though I’m the youngest, because generally my other two siblings were the “problem children” at different points so they got a lot of attention from that good or bad. And my mom would always tell me I never seemed like anything affected me, but maybe it because I felt I couldn’t afford to break because too much was already broken. I grew up in a dysfunctional home, active alcoholic parent, sisters that struggled a lot with anxiety and I was the one who seemed “ok”. I took on the mediator role in arguments and tried to keep the peace. But this left me invisible, unable to have my own problems out of fear it would be too much, I couldn’t afford to be the one who needed help because other people needed mine. I received the most attention when I started to have angry outbursts in my early teens and I didn’t know why. Obviously I was punished for that lol but In hindsight I think it was a cry for help but my parents didn’t know how to handle it besides punishing me for acting out. I don’t blame them, it’s simply stuff I’m becoming aware of.
The fact that I couldn't even put this into words let alone see it as anything other than normal has me deep in therapy with EMDR and drawing firm boundaries around my time. Thank you for helping us all be seen. What a gift you have, thank you for sharing it 💙
❤
Thank you, I have started crying on this video as everything is so true. Good that I am in the therapy and taking care of myself.
❤❤❤
My dad is an alcoholic. Growing up, he and my mom would get into physical fights and shouting matches, and they would always put me in the middle. To this day, he still tries to put me in the middle of their fights to "tell (my) mom that I didn't mean it" or "tell (my) mom that I'm right" to which my mom would then tell me what to say back to him. Sigh. Everything you said describes me perfectly, and I'm just now, as an adult, realizing that the reason I felt ashamed about talking about my family is because deep down, I knew our family was/is dysfunctional; and what I was dealing with as a child was not normal. 😢
I'm the invisible child and as an adult I've become gradually the scapegoat. The achiever mentality is taking a tall in me. I'm healing slowly and being aware of it now. For example, I struggle a lot at Christmas if I don't cook and care about everybody else. But no one really cares about what I want. If I don't do anything is like I don't exist. No one really understands or help, just make me feel guilty if I complain.
As a child I forced myself to have As at school because it was the only attention I got from my parents. I grew very resentful towards my little sister cause my mother made me look after her when I was a teenager and I wanted to be with my friends. Also she always got all the things that she wanted. I wouldn't dare to even ask for anything cause money was always an issue.
One of my older sisters was very dominant and was always telling me what to do or what to wear and not having an opinion was normal for me. I never felt seen or heard and now I have severe dysregulation issues and I still live at home cause I'm terrified of having a job and be on my own. I'm in my 40s.... It's so sad 😢
I certainly relate to this. My sister the middle child was a hurricane to my immigrant parents and my eldest sister was sometimes a handful for them too with her rage. I often played with my neighbour or with my cousin or with myself. My dad was the only one of my parents who showed me love but still I felt like no one actually knew me. Today in my adulthood, I don’t ask for help when I need it, I deal with emotional struggles on my own (poorly) and I have pretty low self esteem and you can bet ur bottom dollar that I am extremely emotionally unavailable. I hate being like this. But understanding my childhood is certainly a helpful thing. Thank you so much for this video and I am in solidarity with the rest of the folks who understand how I feel and who went thru the same kind of childhood
I am on the spectrum and really relate to this, especially feeling invisible and having low self esteem. Great video.
Omg thank you for putting this term out there, I relate so, so much
I grew up with elderly parents and siblings who were already adults.. my parents didn’t know how to regulate their emotions OR connect, they seldom even talked to me. I felt invisible most of the time and only got any attention if I did something good or bad.
Completely grew up thinking my value was attached to how well I did in what I can achieve, I could have become a crazy achiever, but I didn’t, cause I wanted to much to be loved for who I am and not for what I did..
I grew up the eldest of 5. I felt unseen and parentified. I’ve been in a relationship with my husband for nearly 11yrs and I’m only just starting to really set boundaries and speak up. With my eldest son I had PND and due to fears of abandonment I never asked for help from my husband and I had “No needs” and I’m only just realising how much me doing that has damaged our relationship. The resentment I have is unfair but it’s there.
My family ghosted me. Right after my mom died and I was truly alone
I feel this all so strongly. I had to watch domestic violence at home/mentally ill mother due to abuse by father & bullying at school. I adapted to being a people pleaser to feel connected to others. Always felt like an old soul! Now i understand why i always felt something was wrong with me. I felt alone in all my relationships. It was a painful childhood. I turned to food/sugar to self soothe. I can say now i never gave up on myself. Im a seeker & with all the info out there now on trauma i feel blessed. Im finally healing & learning who i am & loving myself. This is deep, healing work.
I now hate the "old soul" complement. I used to love it as a kid, as I thought the maturity protected me somehow against the abuse, now I just think about all the adults who clearly saw a child acting way too mature for her age, and instead of asking questions, or raising alarms to authorities, they simply said my "soul" was old. I don't care if you think I'm the reincarnation of the dahli-lama NO Child should have their abuse dismissed by adults, or think giving it a cute vaguely complimentary name will somehow make it okay!
Thank you for putting this out there! I feel seen, finally! I've only recently really understood how my 'invisibility' made me, at my core, outward facing all my life.
I look back and see that my responses in conversations were always tinged with some element of "will what I say help me be seen in some way, shape or form?" How vulnerable - and naive - I've been.
I'm gradually learning boundaries, agency, yes, the joy of being able to have agency!!
I'm also really learning just how blinkered, determined, even selfish others can be, are entitled to be. I thought we were all the same. I simply couldn't comprehend that folk could be so set on their own desires with absolutely no need to regard others! I guess it's that as we learn, change and (finally) grow, our view of how the world works also changes...
Thank you again 🙏
Yep. My mom had early-Alz in her late 30s and had me at 30. All that stuff applies to me. I can recognize it, work on it, improve it (like know I’m loved for who I am, okay to not be a super achiever, etc.), but that slice of time is always who you are to some extent. My parents said they had me because they didn’t want my sister to be alone. I buried her this year - early Alz again.
Despite all this, I am quite happy and content. A loving partner and some hobbies, sweet kids and a few sweet friends, journaling and fitness go a long way toward healing.
Your share touched me. I can't imagine the loneliness you experience and worked through. And I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister from Alzhemier's. It's such a devastating illness on both the loved one and family.
If you don't mind, could you share about how you found recovery and healing from such a desolate place? BTW, I hope you have a wonderful 2024.
@@chriscjamison Hi Chris. Thank you for your very kind thoughts.
It’s an ongoing journey, I guess. I have to make my mental health a priority. Last year, while my sis was dying and I had to interact with her narcissistic partner, plus dealing with other things, I had to see a therapist for a while. She taught me ACT, which is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. There’s a good book about it. Between that and learning more about mindfulness, exercising (esp lifting weights - man - that does wonders for the mind), and journaling (some), I got better. I learned to be quiet and feel my emotional pain in my body without thinking any thoughts. I would say, I’m going to breathe and feel my pain, and it would go away pretty quickly. Then, I could think more rationally about something later. I also do a better job of challenging my thoughts. I also will walk and listen to at least 10 songs if I’m feeling down.
I have bad days, but actually, most days are good, some great. I was talking to my husband last night about the extreme sadness and anxiety I had been feeling early in the year and how surprised I am to notice that so many anxious behaviors I had are just gone.
Let me know if you have any other questions/if I can help. I have had early Alz, alcoholics, and/or narcissists to deal with my whole life. I think I could teach a class, haha.
Jup, I recognize myself in this. Middle of 5 kids. They were all very demanding, my mom about me when I was a toddler: "It was as if I didn't have a child." I was always doing things on my own, didn't want to bother my parents. As an adult, my secure partner (husband) helped me step back from my family and finally grow. I still feel like a familiar stranger with my family, but I at least can be myself and feel seen with my chosen family 😊
This was me as well. I'm starting to learn who I am and learning to be my true self. I'm still treated unfairly but learning to set more boundaries even if it upsets family. I know what the outcome is. They're going to threaten me, they might throw me out of the house, and I could end up homeless. That's just how this family is, but I've learned to not make the same mistakes that they do.
Im so accustomed to doing things on my own, I forget that I do have people who I can turn to for help. So much so that I had to post a list on the wall of people to contact when I need help. It makes me giggle now
This is really specific lol. But i would love to see you do a video on this sort of thing:
Having parents who will stand by and let their child verbally abuse another of their children. And their response is to tell the “sensitive” child that they just need to get over it, instead of seeing fault with the abusive child, they see issue with the sensitive child.
How it impacts the sensitive child and what it teaches them about how they think they deserve to be treated in the world.
Love your work ❤
So far, I’m proud of myself for doing 1 & 2, I’m still struggling though with 3 & 4 😞
Totally me. I was a very convenient child that didn't require much and I was severely neglected. My own mother said when I was 30 or so that she still doesn't know who am I . That says it all
Haha. Not me being the only child and being like this as well. 😅
I used to ask for help, but no one ever helped, so i stopped asking.
Also, when I did ask for help my family would use it against me.
I ask no one for help with anything anymore.
“I'm invisible unless I'm doing something for someone else.” wow that hits home. I'm just learning to ask and receive help as well as set boundaries. This causes me to feel powerful and more self assure.
This was/is me to an absolute T. Awareness is the first step to healing👏🏼
I don’t know what it is, but I am able to understand some serious important things to understand about myself I was a child and how I was a mother to my daughter in particularly it was different than with my sons and I am trying so hard to look back so that I can explain where I may have caused some damage to her as was with me. I’m the last out of seven and when I came along, the alcoholism was in its last stages. It was a constant war zone on top of being neglected. I was violated as well. I am in 11 years of counseling with CPTSD specialized therapist and am now with a combined ADHD specialist. I’m in counseling the more I learn but you have a gift. Thank you so much you said To Share a little bit so here it is thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. For giving me the words to describe and put into context my childhood and its impact on my life. And for giving me permission to acknowledge and grieve for the lonely little girl who now has the courage to heal and love and live. 💜
I’m glad I was invisible. I’m the most successful and pleasant of any of the crazies 😂❤
Omg, It's hard for me to ask for help, and the thruth is that trying to do everything for myself is impossible and stressful. I think I was a glass child.
This was so helpful. Not just how to identify, but the steps to heal. Thank you!
Wow, this is definitely me. I didn't know there was a name for it. It's been interesting learning who I am and unmasking in the process
I was sandwiched between an ADHD little brother who my mom over-attached to and my Asberger older bro, plus a self-absorbed mom. I lived in a lonely little town without friends. It was pretty bad. I'm just starting to try to find out who I am because I let mom pick my 30+ year career that I hated. The best thing that ever happened to me was being a mom, but when they grew up and left, I felt like that identity died. I'm trying to rebuild identity, direction, and purpose, but it sucks.
At 48, i am stating to discover who i am and claiming my right to have a proper childhood and youth.
This is so relatable to me as a glass child. Attracting people who want to get to know me for who I am will be a new, exciting experience.
Great video, I have never heard this term before, definitely the glass child. I would have a broken bone and my mother would tell me "you're fine", perpetually dismissed. Fortunately at a very young age I knew I would never raise a child the way I was raised. Today, I have boundaries, honor my needs, and it's awesome. Teach my sons these things too!
That is one of the ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) - Physical Neglect. It is child abuse.
If I was perfect, I wouldn't get yelled at. I don't know if it was showing me love, but I didn't get yelled at. I was so tired of getting yelled at for every little thing. I wasn't allowed to be a kid making mistakes and learning from them. I simply wasn't allowed mistakes.
Ugh. Doing this healing work is exhausting l, but at least I have no doubts that what happened to me, what I went through trying to get love and be seen was completely and totally wrong.
Thank you, Nicole.
I was always told I was the good child I was the smart child. All of my siblings had issues that my parents had to deal with except me. Except I had issues too I just wasn’t seen and I learned to keep quiet. My siblings were very attention demanding it was too exhausting for me to keep up with
Wow, I resonate with this so much. Thanks for this video. I grew up an only child of a single mom who I recently learned had many traits of Borderline personality disorder. I became the glass child to keep the peace because she was so chaotic and unpredictable. If I ever became the center of attention she would throw me under the bus. My mom died 4 years ago and I felt like I was born again and started figuring out what I liked and wanted. I’m grieving all that my little self missed. This past year, I have focused on asking for help. So uncomfortable for me, but people actually do usually want to help me.
Oh this! Me too I was born again once my mum died!! I never saw it like that but it’s what happened to me too.
Damn that hit the nail on the head. I’m in tears realizing I was a glass child.
I have this till today. People oversee me or ignore me.. of course not on purpose but the past still haunts me.. Hope I'll get out.
Thank you, identify 💯
She used to say "i didn't exist" to anyone who would hear. I am not sure if it's better or worse of being invisible
I was a glass child. I felt I couldn't ask for help...that I was not allowed. When i started working at 15 I spent as little time at home a possible. My younger brother started acting out and doing drugs from age 12.
This resonated deeply. Could you explain how to let the inner child grieve ?
One of the first books that got me interested in reading in elementary school was a book called "Invisible Lisa". I remember how much I related to the story.
Growing up, I explained my position in my family as "the extra kid". They got my brother and he was mom's baby, then got my sister and she was dad's, and then I came along and there wasn't a place for me.
I will never thank you enough for your videos...
This woman is brilliant. This video is spot on.
Thanks for telling me the truth I couldn’t tell to myself
My brother was the scapegoat and I was on a pedestal.I am 66 and all of this is only just starting to click.Thank you for all your content it is so helpful ❤
The only time they remembered i existed was when they were angry, I was the only one that got repeatedly beaten, otherwise I was and even as an adult, am invisible and not an actual part of the family. 💔😔 now I don’t even want to be acknowledged or seen. I like my own peace and solitude. 🤷♀️🙂
Thank you!
Right on the money with this one 💯 one thing not mentioned here is that I push people away when they show a genuine interest in me because I think they're faking it to use me. I'm working on this in therapy
Very interesting video! I grow up as a glass child!
Yes, that’s me.. I had a three year old sister who was overly active and took all my mother’s attention. I also had to negotiate between my parents.
I have struggled with depression all my adult life. I’m in my 50’s now.
Thank you for doing these videos and research and everything!❤️
Good grief woman - you just described it to a T. Scary! I used to say it feels like my head was in a see through glass box- while screaming! Warning! But no one could hear me!
All love to you for healing. Healing is so important. ❤
Thank you for shaping this powerful message! Food for thought & aspects never considered!❤