We'll be back soon in our hunt for the worst airport in Australia. Bathurst Tickets: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show C*NTAS Shirt: www.friendlyjordies.com/product-page/c-ntas
Can ya not refer to yourself as "jordan" its "jimmies" or at a stretch "shanks"....ohh lol i side tracked myself, hold up.... cop it "jimmie shanks" 🤣 Ahhh, yep, oh and HEY!! Ya cant rip on someone who used "splendid" in a rant 1 & 2, "bumhole" is back pushin big numbers since johnny rotten called russell brand one a while back. Nice shirt stooge.
My favourite part of being at an airport is having a meat pie and coke for $74.65 and then getting sent to prison cus I forgot to declare a breadcrumb in my suitcase
A friend of mine got fined $2000 of have an old clove of garlic that she forgot to declare in her purse. She had it there for like ten years, so it slipped her mind. She wasn't an Australian citizen so almost got deported over it.
@MultiChrisjb my mate got denied entry to NZ and deported back to Australia because they detected heroin on some banknotes from Bali. Like mate, they're banknotes- if you scanned everyone's banknotes you'd be deporting all of em
Sydney airport isn't the worst airport I've been to, but trying to sleep in a nest of my luggage in the corner of a outdoor carpark overnight in winter is definitely my worst experience during international travel. The Sydney airport curfew is kind of nuts. Everyone assumes airports in major cities are 24 hours and unless you knew that the only airport in Australia's 2nd largest city isn't then you're homeless for the night. Everyone is forced outside at 11pm, until they let you back in at 6am. All travellers looked bewildered when they were told to go outside. Nothing nearby except vending machines and a few benches (not enough for everyone), and it was so cold in winter. The closest you could get to being indoors was a public toilet, and the train stops running. Most travellers got out their luggage and put everything on to stay warm. I remember one woman nursing a baby the whole night, I felt so sorry for her. She must have thought Australia was fucked. Hell, even Christchurch (population 396,000) airport has an indoor bit that stays open 24 hours so travellers can stay inside during overnight layovers.
@@Zurodattibass Curfew is to consider everyone who lives under the flight paths, its like living next to a highway, its just a constant drone of planes so having the curfew allows people to sleep peacefully
I learned this the hard way like a decade ago. Was in town for a gathering. My flight home was at 7:00 AM. Stayed out drinking until 3:00 AM. Didn't see the point in going back to my hotel just for a few hours so I went to the airport. They wouldn't let me in so I just slept on the ground outside. Hell of a trip.
Only if Dictator Dan spent more time building the airport link rather than arresting pregnant mums on their way to the doctors then we’d have an airport link.
When I was leaving Sydney, I wanted to go to the airport by train, but my friends all shut me down and we got an Uber instead. We ended up paying about $20 extra to save 15 minutes of travel time, and the plane got delayed anyway (yes, it was Jetstar).
Seriously. Most of these people probably just selected an itinerary provided by the airline's website, and didn't the website doesn't know the airport closes.
I can understand some rando rural airport with only a few daily flights closing after finishing up the daily services. But you're telling me that *Sydney Airport* the most important airport in Australia including it's main international gateway, and hub to (formerly) world-class airline C*ntas... closes from 11PM to 6AM? Not even a tramsit hotel available? There's other airports like Heathrow which do curfews, but they don't kick anyone out. Frankly, Sydney airport 100% deserves that 1-star as it's just baffling that a proper major international airport kicks people out at night.
And if it's an hotel right next to the airport just stay in the lobby and look at them with a resting bitch face if they're trying to make you pay for anything.
@@oggilein1 i did this a few times in high school when i was staying out late, id show up at 10 and get a water and just keep asking for a refill, sometimes id fall asleep and someone would wake me asking me to go home so id order nuggets eat em and doze off 😂😂
Sorry but the idea of the Airport kicking folks out at 11pm is hilarious to me. "I don't care where you go but you can's stay here." "Wait but I don't have a visa for Australia, I'm just waiting for the next plane" "I don't care it's almost bedtime for the airport and you'll keep it awake."
>Pearl Harbour >Thought there were some planes there I mean... Technically speaking, there were quite a number of planes there on at least one occasion
There's something heartwarming about Jordies bitching about the worst aspects of strangers and then immediately displaying those same traits himself. We really are all one.
9:05 ohh there was a whole news article and interviews about this, they tired to make a kid take off his blood glucose scanner, which aside from being a medical device used to cost 200 a month to use
Arriving International at Melbourne is always shite. First they make you walk through miles of duty free shops then you wait an hour for your bags to arrive, then you look around and can't figure out where the line for customs begins or ends. All you can see are thousands of people milling about all saying "Where am I supposed to go now?"
Absolutely, then the electronic scanner fails on every third passport which means you're diverted to a counter with unregulated aisle entry. Meanwhile, the staff look as if they're been committed to hard labor time
Don’t forget the stupid little arrival cards they make you fill out. Sometimes you get asked for them, sometimes not. I’ve taken to filling in the occupation field with whatever random thing I can come up with on the 500 mile walk through Tulla. ‘Secret Agent’ ‘fluffer for Brazzers’ ‘professional form filler inner’ I’m holding an Aussie passport and I’m coming home, fuck off with these forms already!
Best airport I've ever been to hands down is Kraków John Paul II International Airport. Ridiculously efficient, quite friendly and the dudes with guns on the tarmac actually smiled at us. When I left 12 days later the lady in immigration could tell I was a bit tired and gave me a voucher for a free coffee at the airport Cafe near my gate. I was hungover and so thankful for her kindness. Plus it's really easy to navigate the whole place even though I didn't speak a lick of Polish. Good on ya Krakow 👍 Inverness on the other hand...it has only two gates and that was confusing as heck when you'd think it would be simple Simon.
Only irritating thing about JPII is that I was staying like 2 streets away from Rynek Główny (the market square of the old town) and its basically impossible to get to it at certain times of the day using public transit. Luckily the taxis are cheap in Poland, and the Taxis typically hang out away from the main square. But clean, efficient, friendly staff. I was going from JPII to Frankfurt, and it was fucking night and day difference. Frankfurt airport sucked. It feels like a bomb went off somewhere in it and they didn't bother cleaning it up properly
These reviewers have clearly never been to Launceston Airport (or any airport in Tassie) Anyway, as a Melbournian, the worst thing about our airport is no trains.
@@_letstartariot I was at Hobart airport a year ago. All the flights were delayed, so all us strangers at the airport just had a big piss up in the pub in the middle of the terminal! Good times :).
Just go somewhere they sell alcohol by the glass, they're legally obliged in QLD to provide water free of charge. I'm pretty sure there's at least one bar at brissy airport
Smoker winge... just showed up you're one of the minority, most of us have the sense to not smoke Should have bought a pack of nicotine patches or gum... or stay home!!!! Airports really bring out the fwits who just want to have an unhinged rant. Ive seen Canadians and Americans actually saying they like our Aussie airports better than their own.
Pretty sure Victoria cracked down on Taxi drivers not accepting fares for being "too short" of a drive. It's definitely not allowed, I know the old way of bypassing it was saying one location known to be far enough, then changing destination shortly after they started driving.
This. Been to Sydney 2 or 3 times, BNE > SYD > HNL all times, and the bus is the dumbest and most time wasting thing I've ever experienced. I'm at the point I'm willing to spend more to avoid Sydney (although Jetstar has mostly fixed the price issue).
As an American who flies in every year, I'd say that for me, Melbourne airport is pretty good. Sydney airport is the fucking worst airport I've ever been to. Having to take a shuttle bus from the international part to the domestic part always makes me late for my connecting flight to Melbourne. Always try to land in Melbourne when possible for that reason.
As someone who has worked as a baggage handler I can confidently say that they don’t give a flying fuck about your luggage. Best advice is to buy a sturdy bag. Or use a duffel bag.
@@pnutz_2 more often than you think but mostly by outsourced companies. (This is qantas btw) they outsource baggage handling to other companies and the quality of dudes that come through, oh boy. So unregulated.
@@ringsystemmusic It'd also be weird to hang out near the ladies with a $2 coin asking for them to get you a perfume miniature. Truly us men have it tough. That being said, I remember there being a cologne dispenser somewhere, I just don't think it was Perth.
I punched the air when hearing the Western Sydney airport would go ahead without the current owner building it. Sydney and Melbourne will soon be two cities with two airport railways. Pysch.
To be fair to all of the "worst in the world" folks, I actually haven't been to an airport where the walk from the terminal to the pickup is a 500m walk. Timing picking up mates from the airport is like surgery.
Had a 5 hour layover in Perth airport. Went out to visit a friend while I waited because the airport was so bare I was bored even on my phone. Spent about 2 hours with my friend, who struggled to show me anything of interest about Perth as everything was closed by 5pm that I voluntarily went back to the airport; choosing the lesser of two evils and continued being bored there.
Melboure loses because there's no airport train, your only options are the Skybus, morgaging your house for airport parking, or getting scammed by uber/taxi drivers
Always book your taxi before arriving in Melbourne. Never accept a taxi driver that begs to take you because they're rogue drivers that can charge as high as $300 just to get to Albert Park
Okay, since I did work at Sydney airport for a while (not anymore, thank fuck) in customer service...the 11pm curfew is because of the homes nearby and the airport and liners get fined if they fly after 11pm. Plus, the carparks are not $50....it's a stupid 69.90 for 3-24hr period...best advise. Go to the blue emu carpark or get the train. Also, the airport is built like it's 1970...it's fucked.
I don't think anyone is advocating departures/landings after 11pm but passengers should be able to stay in the airport in case they're stranded. I've never heard of an airport that closes like that.
Closing the aurport at night is absolute TRASH. Don't be smug and cope like it's even remotely reasonable, because it's not, travelling is difficult and expensive and horrific enough. If people can afford a room they will, the ones who are in hard times and can't, CAN'T.
All airport terminals should be open 24 hours for Christ's sake, we live in the 21st century! This isn't some horse drawn stagecoach but if it was at least there would be a house of disrepute next door to pass the time away
Man whenever I fly to Europe I ensure I intentionally get the cheapest flight possible which ALWAYS involves a 12-16hr layover in Bangkok because the airport hotels there are circa $50-80 a night. Get a solid sleep, breakfast, swim and massage before the second leg of the flight refreshed.
Still find it kind of weird that they have curfews at those in some Australian airports, up here in Darwin there's nothing like that, had so many flights in the middle of the night and its great! (not really). While its nice having a smaller airport with everything being so close (love going to like gate 500 and walking for 30 minutes at the melb airport) its completely ruined by having no krispy kreme. 1 star, utterly detestable
To be fair to some of them Jordan. Ive never been to an international airport that wasn't open 24 hours a day??? Like the services close down at some point but like the airport itself is usually still open and I've never been kicked out of an international airport? Confused me a great deal when I heard that they actually kick people out of the airport at midnight.
My best airport story is the time a reporter/camera person in front of me spent 20 minutes arguing with security because they had a half used roll of Gaffer tape in their carry on and didn't want to throw it out. The absolute entitlement coming out of this dudes mouth was glorious. He ended up surrounded by 6 guards while he argued his case, then looked to me for support. I said "Dude, it's a $5 roll of tape. Throw it out and move on". One of the seccos mouthed "thank you" and waved me through once the camera person moved on.
my only petty whinge about our big airports is I like ring layouts; like San Francisco SFO... makes getting from terminal to terminal a quick walk even at a massive airport. Except for Tullamarine; all our big airports are sit on a bus and wait for 15 minutes going from domestic to international, despite not really having have many passengers through. Otherwise our airports are fine and I don't mind them one bit.
The airport here in Adelaide isn't great for accessibility, but otherwise it's okay. They're trying to pretend it's fine but it's been 4 years since they started the upgrade and they haven't updated their accessibility map, so it's impossible to tell where shit has moved to.
Worst airport I’ve ever been to is LAX. The staff are stressed out, the passengers are rude, nobody knows where the hell they are or what they’re doing, and creepiest of all is they ask teenage girls if they’re over 18 AFTER patting them down. Good job LAX.
7:00 "what so it's worse than f**kin pearl harbour is it??" Man you crack me up every single time hey 😂 7:35 i was listening to this while doing some lifting and when i heard him sat bumholes I literally dropped a stack of weights 😂🤦
Melbourne airport *does* look like a bomb shelter. Well said. Totally pov. Skip the Skybus and catch the local 901 bus to Broadmeadows station then train it to Flinders St Station to top it off.
I can't speak for Sydney airport but as someone who visited Melbourne airport twice a month for 4 years the most frustrating thing is that the virgin flights would often get moved from one terminal to another which would mean going through security in twice. Sometimes it would get moved back again though. The announcement's of a change of gate between the terminal's did not go over the PA speakers if you were waiting at a gate in the wrong terminal, so if you were in the wrong terminal waiting and nobody found these people they missed their flights. Saw it happen to many people, during the many, many times my flights were delayed on a friday night. (The other bug bear - weather impacting flight times a lot into Melbourne)
I was in Coolangatta airport 2 weeks ago and two groups were so eager to be the first on the plane and line up 20 minutes before the gate opens that they had a food fight over who got to be first...
I'd like to see these people review the airport in Cordova, Alaska. The only thing I can remember about it is the terminal is just kinda a building and I'd like a detailed recap on it.
I got caught out with the curfew at Sydney when I was a teenager. Plan entire time was sleep on the floor of the airport, and I did for an hour until a security guard woke me up and told me to leave. I was poor and had no money for much of anything, let alone a hotel so I just slept on a metal bench outside the terminal with my bag as a pillow with my arms wrapped around my other bag. Wasn't too bad honestly other than cold (it was middle of Winter). I've genuinely had worse sleeps at 4 star hotels.
I was in the airport during the earthquake that hit. Something really funny about seeing the staff all book it out of the building and then shuffle awkwardly back in half an hour later.
The prices airports charge are ridiculous. Perth charges more than $20 an hour or part there of for parking. Recently they charged people an hour of parking for taking longer than 10 minutes in the drop off queue. Also a simple ham and cheese croissant will set you back about $15.
One thing Adelaide has over every other city, our airport is genuinely really good. Never had any issues. Been off the plane and collected bags from an international flight within 15min. Decent public transport access, 5min from the city, less than a km from the beach. Sucked in everyone else adelaide is better than you
Oh god, the accessibility, I've been left at the gate at Melbourne after everyone deplaned, and you can't even fucking wheel those goddamn wheelchairs yourself, so I had to wait for someone to come over to see that I'd been abandoned
Half the domestic terminal seems constantly boarded up- what's with that?? And no general seating' waiting area near the food "court" (if you can call it that). Soooo.....get ya coffee then go for a loooooong walk to an abandoned gate that still somehow has seats towards your own gate and enjoy!
In Melbourne airport, it will cost you around $24 (no concession) to catch a bus (to or from); In Sydney, there is a gate fee of $17 on top of train fare when you go to the airport; In Perth, its cost just an ordinary train fare ( cheaper with concession). You can also stay in the airport all day all night in Perth Airport and public bus is also available at ordinary bus fare!
Ha I liked rocking up to a regional air port in nsw. Got there 30 mins before the flight was due to depart. Guy checked me in when I rocked up. Loaded my luggage on board and said I can go onto the plane or wait. So much more relaxed than a large airport
the shogun joke was kinda funny. i took off my headphones and stood up from my chair as a pavlovian response to acquire my microwaved slop and on my way out of my room i said "hehe that was kinda funny"
My favourites are Adelaide & Gold Coast airports (with Launceston/Sunshine Coast next, but you need a car at those 2), the Gold Coast airport bus drivers are always so lovely, & the airport itself is nice & small/clean/friendly ❤ I've never been to Hobart/WA/NT airports though, or regional ones, so that may change things? But yeah Syd/Mel/Bne aren't great in my opinion... I wish they could learn from Adelaide airport, they've done a lovely job 🌻
Thats what i though, i used to work at the airport and late at night you would get a pleasant smell of popcorn drift in, i have no idea where it came from but it completely covered up the smell of buttcrack.
I must admit, after going to Dallas airport and finding they had a rib house, with the most generous serving of delicious ribs, side bowl of chilli, fries and coke, for like $10, well our airports just dont look as good anymore.
@@becsterbrisbane6275 If you lookup Brisbane train map it goes to Queensland rail. Even then its shockingly sparse. It'd be like looking up "Perth Train Map" and it gave you transwa and the metro combined.
My local airport has three taxidermy bears near the tsa, a taxidermy mountain lion, and several mountain goats. No airport I have been to could ever top that.
We spent 4 hours waiting at Sydney airport on a work trip and went through security for a smoke. my mate found it hilarious that every time we came back inside I would be selected for a "random" bomb screening
Cabbies in Australia (or at least definitely Sydney) not running the meter IS technically illegal, but it'd never get enforced. Usually if you just make enough of a deal about it they'll turn it on though. They're also technically not allowed to decline a fare for any reason
Literally just watched this after work 😂upload on point, knows his audience! 🙌😝the voice you do whenever you're trying to quote some meme dude you hate literally cracks me up everytime LMAO.
I remember going to Dubbo airport about a decade ago and it was one of the best airports I’ve ever been to. I mean it was just like 2 booths, a runway and nothing else, but it was a nice change of pace just walking into the airport and being walked through within the same 5 minutes and being on the plane within the 10 minutes that I arrived there.
Melbourne needs a train to it!Also it is a bad design-the domestic gates are kind divided so they can be really far apart and that means missing a connection if you can’t run 5 kms fast to get from one gate to another. Sydney should have a better way of getting between domestic and international-again, can mean missing a connection because it is a journey from one to the other. But the worst thing about them is the major Australian airlines that have delays and cancellations all the time.
melbourne’s gates don’t have enough seating but i like the fact i can actually walk to different fucking terminals lmao. the massive windows are great for my autistic ass so i can watch the planes. there’s an absolutely nasty hungry jacks in the international terminal that has a decent view of some of the gates. fun as fuck to watch through. there’s a pub on the domestic side that’s expensive as shit but also has a good view. i hate most of the routes airlines offer out of melbourne. i should be able to fly to somewhere like haneda from melbourne directly, but no you have to do a stopover somewhere because no one offers direct flights. more often than not, unless you’re doing domestic, anywhere in NZ, LA, dallas, san francisco or select cities in asia, you’ll have to do a stopover in sydney or brisbane because there are no direct flights from melbourne when they are more than capable to do so. air canada used to operate to melbourne pre-pandemic. they no longer do and now getting to somewhere like vancouver is stupidly difficult. even though there’s no trains there are still ways to get to the airport via public transport, it just takes 10 years. still cheaper than an uber or a taxi though.
We'll be back soon in our hunt for the worst airport in Australia.
Bathurst Tickets: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show
C*NTAS Shirt: www.friendlyjordies.com/product-page/c-ntas
You should investigate Bathurst Regional Council, the General Manager is corrupt.
yo
Can ya not refer to yourself as "jordan" its "jimmies" or at a stretch "shanks"....ohh lol i side tracked myself, hold up.... cop it "jimmie shanks" 🤣
Ahhh, yep, oh and HEY!! Ya cant rip on someone who used "splendid" in a rant 1 & 2, "bumhole" is back pushin big numbers since johnny rotten called russell brand one a while back.
Nice shirt stooge.
you try getting off an 8hr flight and connecting to another one without nicotine... ffs jordies
Nice mate just great.
My favourite part of being at an airport is having a meat pie and coke for $74.65 and then getting sent to prison cus I forgot to declare a breadcrumb in my suitcase
A friend of mine got fined $2000 of have an old clove of garlic that she forgot to declare in her purse. She had it there for like ten years, so it slipped her mind. She wasn't an Australian citizen so almost got deported over it.
@@MultiChrisjb I’ve watched too many border security shows to believe that 😂
@MultiChrisjb my mate got denied entry to NZ and deported back to Australia because they detected heroin on some banknotes from Bali.
Like mate, they're banknotes- if you scanned everyone's banknotes you'd be deporting all of em
@@adamwest1138 I’ve seen drugs detected on suitcases but unless they actually find the drug hidden the person is free to go
I bow to thee
Funniest thing is sydney international does have a smoking area past customs, that person was just too stupid to find it.
Where? As far as I understand, there isn’t
And for the other guy, there's a prayer room too.
Maybe they actually took his review into consideration 😂
IT DOES? please advise.
Or he could've just bought one of those stupid disposable vapes that fills kids with more lead than America's lack of mental healthcare
I don't know if you're aware, but google allows reviews of brothels, and people leave reviews with their real names. It's incredible comedy
He has to do this
really? mentally ill pensioners yelling at sex workers online? ok i was gonna talk down on you for being cruel but it is kinda funny.....
Google reviews of brothels and strip clubs would be comedy gold
This would be amazing, we've gotta see this
@@Nikkska Jordies literally did this 2 years ago lol > ruclips.net/video/DSZpKRPjfnA/видео.htmlsi=X4UDUdW8gbBlkBAy
Sydney airport isn't the worst airport I've been to, but trying to sleep in a nest of my luggage in the corner of a outdoor carpark overnight in winter is definitely my worst experience during international travel.
The Sydney airport curfew is kind of nuts. Everyone assumes airports in major cities are 24 hours and unless you knew that the only airport in Australia's 2nd largest city isn't then you're homeless for the night. Everyone is forced outside at 11pm, until they let you back in at 6am. All travellers looked bewildered when they were told to go outside. Nothing nearby except vending machines and a few benches (not enough for everyone), and it was so cold in winter. The closest you could get to being indoors was a public toilet, and the train stops running. Most travellers got out their luggage and put everything on to stay warm. I remember one woman nursing a baby the whole night, I felt so sorry for her. She must have thought Australia was fucked.
Hell, even Christchurch (population 396,000) airport has an indoor bit that stays open 24 hours so travellers can stay inside during overnight layovers.
Ya that airport curfew is kinda insane
its probably because it doesn't snow in Sydney so the curfew never killed anyone
@@billylionisnotagoat Sounds like a "...Yet" thing they could solve before it happens.
@@Zurodattibass Curfew is to consider everyone who lives under the flight paths, its like living next to a highway, its just a constant drone of planes so having the curfew allows people to sleep peacefully
I learned this the hard way like a decade ago. Was in town for a gathering. My flight home was at 7:00 AM. Stayed out drinking until 3:00 AM. Didn't see the point in going back to my hotel just for a few hours so I went to the airport. They wouldn't let me in so I just slept on the ground outside. Hell of a trip.
As a Victorian, I can guarantee that Sydney airport is better because trains.
Yeees, get off before airport stop and walk in to save 20 bucks!
100% agree
Only if Dictator Dan spent more time building the airport link rather than arresting pregnant mums on their way to the doctors then we’d have an airport link.
Nu trains are better for environment & far more inclusive for all people
When I was leaving Sydney, I wanted to go to the airport by train, but my friends all shut me down and we got an Uber instead. We ended up paying about $20 extra to save 15 minutes of travel time, and the plane got delayed anyway (yes, it was Jetstar).
Being kicked out of an international airport at midnight is pretty fucked.
Seriously. Most of these people probably just selected an itinerary provided by the airline's website, and didn't the website doesn't know the airport closes.
I can understand some rando rural airport with only a few daily flights closing after finishing up the daily services. But you're telling me that *Sydney Airport* the most important airport in Australia including it's main international gateway, and hub to (formerly) world-class airline C*ntas... closes from 11PM to 6AM? Not even a tramsit hotel available?
There's other airports like Heathrow which do curfews, but they don't kick anyone out. Frankly, Sydney airport 100% deserves that 1-star as it's just baffling that a proper major international airport kicks people out at night.
Sounds like it might reopen for check-in at 2:30am too, so it’s closed for 3.5 hours if they close at 11pm? At that point, why bother closing?
@@Fay7666 yep
Ok but international airport of a major city closing at 11pm? That's ridiculous.
If anything they should be 24/7 not 7/11
why? the airport takes no more planes until the airport opens again
Nothing around Sydney has a nightlife - including the airport.
@@Starvaze I think Bangkok International Airport is 24/7
its because sydney airport is surrounded by development so a 24/7 airport would probably disturb at least 10-20k people
We got no train in Melbourne. Ripping people off for long term parking. That alone makes it worse then the rest.
You pay nearly triple on your ticket if you get off at one of the airport stations. Welcome to Australia - fuck you pay me.
The fact you have to pay for the trolleys for your bags in sydney airport is criminal.
pay? like no refund if you put it in the right place?
Is it the old-school ‘stick a dollar in’ like the supermarket trolleys?
Just carry them you lazy c*^%
You don't HAVE you pay though tbf... just don't use them
haven't been but im p sure he means like the luggage trollies they use at hotels, not like a shopping trolly with a coin holder.
to be fair, customs/quarantine incinerators do work overnight. the smell of burning garbage is a real thing
Why get a hotel? Just pull up at the nearest 24hr maccas and wait it out with a family box
if youre feeling extra daring, keep refilling your cup with water so you can say "nah im just finishing my drink" if someone questions you
And if it's an hotel right next to the airport just stay in the lobby and look at them with a resting bitch face if they're trying to make you pay for anything.
@@oggilein1 that guy over there hasnt stopped drinking in 8 hours, he hasnt even stood up, i must admit im a little concerned for his safety
You are wise
@@oggilein1 i did this a few times in high school when i was staying out late, id show up at 10 and get a water and just keep asking for a refill, sometimes id fall asleep and someone would wake me asking me to go home so id order nuggets eat em and doze off 😂😂
Sorry but the idea of the Airport kicking folks out at 11pm is hilarious to me.
"I don't care where you go but you can's stay here."
"Wait but I don't have a visa for Australia, I'm just waiting for the next plane"
"I don't care it's almost bedtime for the airport and you'll keep it awake."
>Pearl Harbour
>Thought there were some planes there
I mean... Technically speaking, there were quite a number of planes there on at least one occasion
#iseewhatyoudidthere :D
Twice actually, the Japs attempted to disrupt the repairs 3 months later (though with bombers, not carrier craft)
Henderson Field had planes, it's the island in the middle of Pearl Harbor
as venaautos said, There was more than 1 Runway.
Technically I'm pretty sure there might still be.......some....plane there right? Atleast bits 😅
There's something heartwarming about Jordies bitching about the worst aspects of strangers and then immediately displaying those same traits himself. We really are all one.
9:05 ohh there was a whole news article and interviews about this, they tired to make a kid take off his blood glucose scanner, which aside from being a medical device used to cost 200 a month to use
Arriving International at Melbourne is always shite. First they make you walk through miles of duty free shops then you wait an hour for your bags to arrive, then you look around and can't figure out where the line for customs begins or ends. All you can see are thousands of people milling about all saying "Where am I supposed to go now?"
Absolutely, then the electronic scanner fails on every third passport which means you're diverted to a counter with unregulated aisle entry. Meanwhile, the staff look as if they're been committed to hard labor time
Don’t forget the stupid little arrival cards they make you fill out. Sometimes you get asked for them, sometimes not. I’ve taken to filling in the occupation field with whatever random thing I can come up with on the 500 mile walk through Tulla. ‘Secret Agent’ ‘fluffer for Brazzers’ ‘professional form filler inner’ I’m holding an Aussie passport and I’m coming home, fuck off with these forms already!
@@GLxGL lol
Best airport I've ever been to hands down is Kraków John Paul II International Airport. Ridiculously efficient, quite friendly and the dudes with guns on the tarmac actually smiled at us. When I left 12 days later the lady in immigration could tell I was a bit tired and gave me a voucher for a free coffee at the airport Cafe near my gate. I was hungover and so thankful for her kindness. Plus it's really easy to navigate the whole place even though I didn't speak a lick of Polish. Good on ya Krakow 👍 Inverness on the other hand...it has only two gates and that was confusing as heck when you'd think it would be simple Simon.
Only irritating thing about JPII is that I was staying like 2 streets away from Rynek Główny (the market square of the old town) and its basically impossible to get to it at certain times of the day using public transit. Luckily the taxis are cheap in Poland, and the Taxis typically hang out away from the main square.
But clean, efficient, friendly staff. I was going from JPII to Frankfurt, and it was fucking night and day difference. Frankfurt airport sucked. It feels like a bomb went off somewhere in it and they didn't bother cleaning it up properly
Water fountains near the bathrooms!? That'd disgusting! They really should route plumbing haphazardly all over the place.
i've played enough cities skylines to know that my calling is here
Can you believe they do that in SCHOOLS?! to our CHILDREN?!?!
These reviewers have clearly never been to Launceston Airport (or any airport in Tassie)
Anyway, as a Melbournian, the worst thing about our airport is no trains.
I have no memory of Hobart airport. I think we rocked up at someone shed to board the plane back to Melbourne.
I love Hobart Airport, so simple and small.
@@_letstartariot I was at Hobart airport a year ago. All the flights were delayed, so all us strangers at the airport just had a big piss up in the pub in the middle of the terminal! Good times :).
Launie airport is great (as far as airports go). You can get out of it in less than 10mins. Five if a cute doggo takes no interest in you.
As a Melbournian I am definitely not up myself.
No public water fountains at Brisbane airport, plenty of vending machines selling water.
theres heaps of water fountains at brisbane airport. At least at domestic.
Just go somewhere they sell alcohol by the glass, they're legally obliged in QLD to provide water free of charge. I'm pretty sure there's at least one bar at brissy airport
Just go to a bathroom and use a tap. It's likely just as hygienic....
@@horsesteam9173 yeah the bars in Brisbane airport have water dispensers on the the bar. You can just walk up and have a drink, they won't blink.
Smoker winge... just showed up you're one of the minority, most of us have the sense to not smoke Should have bought a pack of nicotine patches or gum... or stay home!!!! Airports really bring out the fwits who just want to have an unhinged rant. Ive seen Canadians and Americans actually saying they like our Aussie airports better than their own.
Pretty sure Victoria cracked down on Taxi drivers not accepting fares for being "too short" of a drive. It's definitely not allowed, I know the old way of bypassing it was saying one location known to be far enough, then changing destination shortly after they started driving.
It's definitely a very big issue in Sydney. Wish they'd crack down on it here.
Yeah I loved doing that. Then arguing with the smelly arab to shut his mouth and keep driving.😂
The Qantas terminal bus transfer between domestic and international is what kills Sydney Airport for me
This. Been to Sydney 2 or 3 times, BNE > SYD > HNL all times, and the bus is the dumbest and most time wasting thing I've ever experienced. I'm at the point I'm willing to spend more to avoid Sydney (although Jetstar has mostly fixed the price issue).
As an American who flies in every year, I'd say that for me, Melbourne airport is pretty good. Sydney airport is the fucking worst airport I've ever been to. Having to take a shuttle bus from the international part to the domestic part always makes me late for my connecting flight to Melbourne. Always try to land in Melbourne when possible for that reason.
Yeah, that bus is an unexpected inconvenience for most people.
@@AwesomeFish12 It's terrible, every time I've had a connection in Sydney It's screwed me over.
so, an american that flies to aussi a lot...hmm do you work at pine ridge?
Damn have you been through O'Hare? I haven't flown a lot but as someone who lives outside Chicago I really hate dealing with ohare
@@nmgg6928 I've never flown into O'Hare. Thanks for the heads-up, though, If I'm ever going to Illinois I'll avoid flying.
Canberra Terminal is now really nice, but i remember doing work runs from SYD to CBR weekly when it was literally a shed in a field.
As someone who has worked as a baggage handler I can confidently say that they don’t give a flying fuck about your luggage. Best advice is to buy a sturdy bag. Or use a duffel bag.
Thank you for confirming what I saw on many damaged suitcases over the years
what's the occurrance of people like that guy whose SO left him that morning and was deliberately smashing the bags
@@pnutz_2 more often than you think but mostly by outsourced companies. (This is qantas btw) they outsource baggage handling to other companies and the quality of dudes that come through, oh boy. So unregulated.
If your job is to handle other people's belongings and you don't care about them, then you're a bad person
He isn't a bad person for that, he's likely overworked and underpaid. Fuck doing a decent job then
So many uploads, glad you’re back.
Good to see him doing safe content for now
Perth Airport has a $2 dispenser in the ladies' that spits out a random miniature perfume
Of all the things to complain about Perth Airport (Mostly about T4, thanks Qantas), it is actually an alright airport.
Tbh I’d patronize the miniature perfume dispenser if it weren’t weird as hell bc I’m a dude. I like tiny things!
@@ringsystemmusic It'd also be weird to hang out near the ladies with a $2 coin asking for them to get you a perfume miniature. Truly us men have it tough.
That being said, I remember there being a cologne dispenser somewhere, I just don't think it was Perth.
I punched the air when hearing the Western Sydney airport would go ahead without the current owner building it. Sydney and Melbourne will soon be two cities with two airport railways. Pysch.
Is that good or bad?
"It's better than my house" and cutting to the video of the firebombing is the exact reason friendlyjordies is cant miss. What a legend.
Enjoying this video in Melbourne domestic airport as my Qantas flight has been cancelled twice and delayed for some more time
Typical Melbourne flight wait time then?
I like the idea that some stuck-up fella finds a Sydney winter to be the equivalent of one from Game of Thrones.
To be fair to all of the "worst in the world" folks, I actually haven't been to an airport where the walk from the terminal to the pickup is a 500m walk. Timing picking up mates from the airport is like surgery.
Had a 5 hour layover in Perth airport. Went out to visit a friend while I waited because the airport was so bare I was bored even on my phone. Spent about 2 hours with my friend, who struggled to show me anything of interest about Perth as everything was closed by 5pm that I voluntarily went back to the airport; choosing the lesser of two evils and continued being bored there.
yeh Perths really crappy.
Melboure loses because there's no airport train, your only options are the Skybus, morgaging your house for airport parking, or getting scammed by uber/taxi drivers
Always book your taxi before arriving in Melbourne. Never accept a taxi driver that begs to take you because they're rogue drivers that can charge as high as $300 just to get to Albert Park
one time i got an uber to airport west then the tram from there into the city 😆
@@animejesus8940 Did it end up reducing your cost by lots?
@jaidentslgl2753 from memory, yes. uber was around $20-25 and tram was free 🤫
@@animejesus8940 *Saves 75% by catching public transport
Okay, since I did work at Sydney airport for a while (not anymore, thank fuck) in customer service...the 11pm curfew is because of the homes nearby and the airport and liners get fined if they fly after 11pm.
Plus, the carparks are not $50....it's a stupid 69.90 for 3-24hr period...best advise. Go to the blue emu carpark or get the train.
Also, the airport is built like it's 1970...it's fucked.
I don't think anyone is advocating departures/landings after 11pm but passengers should be able to stay in the airport in case they're stranded. I've never heard of an airport that closes like that.
@@the_bottomfragger true.
Straight up, Melbourne airport is the most depressing thing to return to after a holiday.
Try Albury regional airport. It's a living graveyard. And only has activity once in a month
Agreed. Melbs is tragic to arrive at. Dumb hotch potch design failure. No flow. Vile. Rip off car parking. No train.
I am so sick of Sydney and Melbourne airports, I actually made my own plane from scratch and got my plane license just to avoid it
Have you been to Avalon airport?
Closing the aurport at night is absolute TRASH. Don't be smug and cope like it's even remotely reasonable, because it's not, travelling is difficult and expensive and horrific enough. If people can afford a room they will, the ones who are in hard times and can't, CAN'T.
realistically if you cant afford a room for a night it would be financially irresponsible to travel globally unless there was exigent circumstances
true
All airport terminals should be open 24 hours for Christ's sake, we live in the 21st century! This isn't some horse drawn stagecoach but if it was at least there would be a house of disrepute next door to pass the time away
Man whenever I fly to Europe I ensure I intentionally get the cheapest flight possible which ALWAYS involves a 12-16hr layover in Bangkok because the airport hotels there are circa $50-80 a night. Get a solid sleep, breakfast, swim and massage before the second leg of the flight refreshed.
T4 in Melbourne has to be the most embarrassingly pathetic attempt for a a terminal in the modern history
Still find it kind of weird that they have curfews at those in some Australian airports, up here in Darwin there's nothing like that, had so many flights in the middle of the night and its great! (not really).
While its nice having a smaller airport with everything being so close (love going to like gate 500 and walking for 30 minutes at the melb airport) its completely ruined by having no krispy kreme. 1 star, utterly detestable
To be fair to some of them Jordan. Ive never been to an international airport that wasn't open 24 hours a day??? Like the services close down at some point but like the airport itself is usually still open and I've never been kicked out of an international airport? Confused me a great deal when I heard that they actually kick people out of the airport at midnight.
yep. Everything could be closed but the airport is open so you can sleep.
My best airport story is the time a reporter/camera person in front of me spent 20 minutes arguing with security because they had a half used roll of Gaffer tape in their carry on and didn't want to throw it out. The absolute entitlement coming out of this dudes mouth was glorious.
He ended up surrounded by 6 guards while he argued his case, then looked to me for support. I said "Dude, it's a $5 roll of tape. Throw it out and move on".
One of the seccos mouthed "thank you" and waved me through once the camera person moved on.
Jordan looking like he's got Joseph's coat today...
Same thought I had 😅
my only petty whinge about our big airports is I like ring layouts; like San Francisco SFO... makes getting from terminal to terminal a quick walk even at a massive airport. Except for Tullamarine; all our big airports are sit on a bus and wait for 15 minutes going from domestic to international, despite not really having have many passengers through. Otherwise our airports are fine and I don't mind them one bit.
Just sitting here in Adelaide thinking, well no-one is upset with our airport.
No-one goes to your airport.
The airport here in Adelaide isn't great for accessibility, but otherwise it's okay. They're trying to pretend it's fine but it's been 4 years since they started the upgrade and they haven't updated their accessibility map, so it's impossible to tell where shit has moved to.
"What's a battle?"
It's just a pretty boring airport which is a summary of Adelaide.
Source: South Australian
What's Adelaide
Worst airport I’ve ever been to is LAX. The staff are stressed out, the passengers are rude, nobody knows where the hell they are or what they’re doing, and creepiest of all is they ask teenage girls if they’re over 18 AFTER patting them down. Good job LAX.
7:00 "what so it's worse than f**kin pearl harbour is it??" Man you crack me up every single time hey 😂
7:35 i was listening to this while doing some lifting and when i heard him sat bumholes I literally dropped a stack of weights 😂🤦
(I mean, normally if airports have over-night connections, they do allow for passengers to stay in a designated area for a couple of hours)
Can you do a video on the lebo crime families?
Not sure that would be a good idea given recent history.
You mean property developers.
Melbourne airport *does* look like a bomb shelter. Well said. Totally pov. Skip the Skybus and catch the local 901 bus to Broadmeadows station then train it to Flinders St Station to top it off.
This made me laugh hard this morning, thank you 😂❤
Melbourne airport is an entirely different universe. I always get lost, its scary, so horrifying. Sydney airport has the best burritos.
I gave myself a six pack laughing at the bumholes comment. That SENT me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
YOU GAVE YOURSELF A WHAAAAAT?
I can't speak for Sydney airport but as someone who visited Melbourne airport twice a month for 4 years the most frustrating thing is that the virgin flights would often get moved from one terminal to another which would mean going through security in twice. Sometimes it would get moved back again though. The announcement's of a change of gate between the terminal's did not go over the PA speakers if you were waiting at a gate in the wrong terminal, so if you were in the wrong terminal waiting and nobody found these people they missed their flights. Saw it happen to many people, during the many, many times my flights were delayed on a friday night. (The other bug bear - weather impacting flight times a lot into Melbourne)
nah m8 tru blue farkin aussie planes gotta have a dart punching section
just pure unaustralian mate
w username
As an Australian (don't take this seriously)
What the great Australian (bite) fuck did I just read??
@@Starvaze you mean bight mate?
I was in Coolangatta airport 2 weeks ago and two groups were so eager to be the first on the plane and line up 20 minutes before the gate opens that they had a food fight over who got to be first...
As a Melbourne airport worker. I have to agree, Melbourne airport doesn't care about human life 😂
" and the whole airport smells of bumholes..." - amazing!
Sounds like a lot of these people have yet to set foot in Atlanta.
How I envy them.
I'd like to see these people review the airport in Cordova, Alaska. The only thing I can remember about it is the terminal is just kinda a building and I'd like a detailed recap on it.
That sounds an awful lot like the airport in Kodiak.
interesting.
But Sydney airport is pretty bad though. I got shanked in the bathroom. Apparently bro was upset by “the intense colour of my shirt”.
This is funny af , for some reason , love your work
No matter how bad any of these airports are, none of them are anywhere near as bad as LaGuardia
I got caught out with the curfew at Sydney when I was a teenager. Plan entire time was sleep on the floor of the airport, and I did for an hour until a security guard woke me up and told me to leave. I was poor and had no money for much of anything, let alone a hotel so I just slept on a metal bench outside the terminal with my bag as a pillow with my arms wrapped around my other bag. Wasn't too bad honestly other than cold (it was middle of Winter). I've genuinely had worse sleeps at 4 star hotels.
I dunno what the airport in Bali is called, but I think it should count
Denpasar Airport but no its not an Aussie airport.
Denpasar International, but technically Bali isn't part of Australia - just because we outnumber the locals 4:1 doesn't make it ours
I was in the airport during the earthquake that hit. Something really funny about seeing the staff all book it out of the building and then shuffle awkwardly back in half an hour later.
The prices airports charge are ridiculous. Perth charges more than $20 an hour or part there of for parking. Recently they charged people an hour of parking for taking longer than 10 minutes in the drop off queue. Also a simple ham and cheese croissant will set you back about $15.
One thing Adelaide has over every other city, our airport is genuinely really good. Never had any issues. Been off the plane and collected bags from an international flight within 15min. Decent public transport access, 5min from the city, less than a km from the beach. Sucked in everyone else adelaide is better than you
That's because our secondary airports see more passenger traffic than Adelaide Airport.
@@smalltime0 busiest airports in Australia goes Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide... good try champ
0:00 I havent heard that notification sound since I got my first phone in middle school -- htc g1 sidekick
Melbourne airport absolute dog shit. I'm 100% including accessibility as an issue in the assessment
The non existent security at 1AM is problematic too.
Oh god, the accessibility, I've been left at the gate at Melbourne after everyone deplaned, and you can't even fucking wheel those goddamn wheelchairs yourself, so I had to wait for someone to come over to see that I'd been abandoned
Half the domestic terminal seems constantly boarded up- what's with that?? And no general seating' waiting area near the food "court" (if you can call it that). Soooo.....get ya coffee then go for a loooooong walk to an abandoned gate that still somehow has seats towards your own gate and enjoy!
@@sweetistweeterthats awful!
This is EXACTLY the critical and cut throat journalism I signed up for. Airport review/tierlist next?
Worst thing about Melbourne airport, is the taxi rank is now 200 meters up the road , what was a taxi rank is friggen Uber section,
that fucken confused the hell out of me when i got out
@@TheRileyg98 same here, it’s totally bullshit
In Melbourne airport, it will cost you around $24 (no concession) to catch a bus (to or from); In Sydney, there is a gate fee of $17 on top of train fare when you go to the airport; In Perth, its cost just an ordinary train fare ( cheaper with concession). You can also stay in the airport all day all night in Perth Airport and public bus is also available at ordinary bus fare!
Perth is a great city...the people are relatively strange though only blemish ..
Like strange as in drowning cats ina plastic bag strange..
Ha I liked rocking up to a regional air port in nsw. Got there 30 mins before the flight was due to depart. Guy checked me in when I rocked up. Loaded my luggage on board and said I can go onto the plane or wait. So much more relaxed than a large airport
They’re so chill. “Ummm is that a bomb?” “Nar mate”. “Ok sweet thanks you’re all g”.
@@robertmclean5356 Ha they don't even ask!
the shogun joke was kinda funny. i took off my headphones and stood up from my chair as a pavlovian response to acquire my microwaved slop and on my way out of my room i said "hehe that was kinda funny"
Going through security again at SYD when transferring is annoying
He had to re-recorded the ending because Melbourne didn't approve.
Wake up people the conspiracy is real!
My favourites are Adelaide & Gold Coast airports (with Launceston/Sunshine Coast next, but you need a car at those 2), the Gold Coast airport bus drivers are always so lovely, & the airport itself is nice & small/clean/friendly ❤
I've never been to Hobart/WA/NT airports though, or regional ones, so that may change things?
But yeah Syd/Mel/Bne aren't great in my opinion... I wish they could learn from Adelaide airport, they've done a lovely job 🌻
Sunshine Coast ok.
@@franreid8203 Huh?
When he says the smell of flaming garbage, he meant the people of Sydney, not literal flaming garbage.
Thats what i though, i used to work at the airport and late at night you would get a pleasant smell of popcorn drift in, i have no idea where it came from but it completely covered up the smell of buttcrack.
I must admit, after going to Dallas airport and finding they had a rib house, with the most generous serving of delicious ribs, side bowl of chilli, fries and coke, for like $10, well our airports just dont look as good anymore.
There's no praying room?
Okay. That airport is the best.
What will all those liberal ministers do with no prayer room
@radicallyrethinkingraoooooh that's gold😂ilwaysina
Some anonymous person who does egg farts in an airport is always a pain, not to mention a fire hazard.
flaming true.
melbourne airport doesn't have a train and it's 2024. Sydney does. Enough said.
Its [current year] there should be a train line already (future proofing because there is one in the initial planning stage)
Even Brisbane, and THAT'S saying something!!
@@becsterbrisbane6275 Brisbane has a train system?
@@smalltime0 haha, yes, Brisbane's had the Airtrain since like 2000!
@@becsterbrisbane6275 If you lookup Brisbane train map it goes to Queensland rail.
Even then its shockingly sparse. It'd be like looking up "Perth Train Map" and it gave you transwa and the metro combined.
My local airport doesn't even have security
1 view in 48 seconds jordie fell off
4,000 blorps in 15 gromps dude he totally zeebed off.
@marc-pierremarlais9019 holy scrungus dude
My local airport has three taxidermy bears near the tsa, a taxidermy mountain lion, and several mountain goats. No airport I have been to could ever top that.
We spent 4 hours waiting at Sydney airport on a work trip and went through security for a smoke. my mate found it hilarious that every time we came back inside I would be selected for a "random" bomb screening
Cabbies in Australia (or at least definitely Sydney) not running the meter IS technically illegal, but it'd never get enforced. Usually if you just make enough of a deal about it they'll turn it on though.
They're also technically not allowed to decline a fare for any reason
"I can't picture that in my stupid head filled with cartoons" I think has to be one of the things I have most identified with in my entire life.
Did he just forget what 1+1 was for a second at 13:58
I'm surprised they don't charge you money for every time you inhale their oxygen.
“ ITS BETTER THAN MY HOUSE! “ I’m in tears😂
“I don’t mind sitting on the ground like I’m a fucking invalid” fuck me that was a good laugh.
Literally just watched this after work 😂upload on point, knows his audience! 🙌😝the voice you do whenever you're trying to quote some meme dude you hate literally cracks me up everytime LMAO.
I remember going to Dubbo airport about a decade ago and it was one of the best airports I’ve ever been to. I mean it was just like 2 booths, a runway and nothing else, but it was a nice change of pace just walking into the airport and being walked through within the same 5 minutes and being on the plane within the 10 minutes that I arrived there.
You know you're up late when you start catching the Australian's uploads early
Melbourne needs a train to it!Also it is a bad design-the domestic gates are kind divided so they can be really far apart and that means missing a connection if you can’t run 5 kms fast to get from one gate to another. Sydney should have a better way of getting between domestic and international-again, can mean missing a connection because it is a journey from one to the other. But the worst thing about them is the major Australian airlines that have delays and cancellations all the time.
Could they extend a line or even get a v-line?
melbourne’s gates don’t have enough seating but i like the fact i can actually walk to different fucking terminals lmao. the massive windows are great for my autistic ass so i can watch the planes. there’s an absolutely nasty hungry jacks in the international terminal that has a decent view of some of the gates. fun as fuck to watch through. there’s a pub on the domestic side that’s expensive as shit but also has a good view.
i hate most of the routes airlines offer out of melbourne. i should be able to fly to somewhere like haneda from melbourne directly, but no you have to do a stopover somewhere because no one offers direct flights. more often than not, unless you’re doing domestic, anywhere in NZ, LA, dallas, san francisco or select cities in asia, you’ll have to do a stopover in sydney or brisbane because there are no direct flights from melbourne when they are more than capable to do so. air canada used to operate to melbourne pre-pandemic. they no longer do and now getting to somewhere like vancouver is stupidly difficult.
even though there’s no trains there are still ways to get to the airport via public transport, it just takes 10 years. still cheaper than an uber or a taxi though.