Star Wars The Acolyte Review of Season 1 Episode 1, where I was promised the ultimate social commentary and instead ended up with a hilarious take bordering on parody. While watching it, I did keep checking the clock, but while watching a second time and recording I hate a great time. Admittedly, I spent more time taking the piss and talking about random side lines than the actual show, but a good time all the same 🤣The episode gets worse as it goes on with the first fight clearly having the most time spent on it. By the end the real life sets go out the window and we have transitions across various CGI volume sets. And none of this makes sense, even down to directly contradicting ourselves, sometimes in the next sentence! So if this is how the series starts, I'm looking forwards to the rest, especially episode 3 which I've heard totally ruins the force. Should be fun, alongside their attempt at moral philosophy discussions. But what did you think of what you saw? Let me know your thoughts down below and as always, thanks for watching :)
I will say I think the scene in the cells where the guy chnages his tune is more due to the Jedi mindcontrolling him rather than incosistent writing. Now that's still awful because Jedi shouldn't be using the mind trick or whaever that was so candidly but oes require a different critique.
I often get adult female diaper ads with Disparu videos, especially if I’m watching via smart tv. In fact, a lot of the ads I get during his videos seem targeted at older women. Wonder what his viewership metrics look like.
As long as you guys keep their name in your mouth and keep them relevant, that's enough. Maybe ask all these youtube superchat grifters why they have never tried to provide any indie alternatives to the mainstream? (other than this trash Rippaverse "product" that they're all pushing for personal gain reasons)... instead of potentially supporting and growing an entire indie scene and getting people excited about it, it's just Groundhog's Day over and over "Did you guys know Star Wars is dead?" Let's shake our fist at them for years and keep reminding them that they won. Do you find it as weird as I do that they NEVER STOP talking about Disney? They KEEP WATCHING their programming and letting us know "Star Wars is dead!" while giving Disney ALL the free press they could want!
I'm honestly still focusing on how a bunch of writers got together in a room, started coming up with names for all the characters, and at no point did anyone ask, "Isn't it going to be a little distracting that our lead character has a name that sounds exactly like the administration for safety and health?"
"I trained to be a Jedi but those skills aren't exactly transferable" Really? Bounty hunter, security, mercenary, local law enforcement, consulting on all previously mentioned professions. Who's writing this bollox?
@@JustTooDamnHonest Headland: "I used to bring attractive women to a fat man's hotel room, those skills aren't exactly transferrable" Kathleen Kennedy: "Come write a Star Wars series"
That "you lost your mothers" line was cringe. Why not just say "you lost your parents", which would encompass every possible combination of gender? But no, they had to specify 'mothers' to make sure that we, the audience, know that her parents, who will have no relevance whatsoever in this story because they died a long time ago, were in fact gay.
@@mastergrillex Seems they can. Ep3 reveals that one woman used the Force to make the other pregnant. To that, I will quote the only good line from Disney Star Wars: "That's not how the Force works!"
@@benjaminfranklin9966 I hate to defend this, but wasn´t Anakin also a Force baby? He was the chosen one and all that... All I´m saying is that yes, it´s stupid, but a similar thing happened before.
@@johnyshadow It seems like that was an anomaly with the Force itself causing him to be born. I don't think "Force Sex" is a very good ability to invent, but here we are.
that is why in all of those modern movies when a character has a "Genius" plan. There actually is absolutely nothing genius and no planing about it, just writers forcing the plot so the "Genius" ends up with the upper hand. Not because it makes sense and makes you think "Damn i never saw that coming but it makes so much sense now!". Instead the first reaction most people usually have is "But how would he know this....or how could he have predicted this." Or just a confused "Really" because it only makes sense off screen. Nothing genius was happening on screen.
I'm a woman who grew up on the original trilogy. I've always loved Star Wars. However, I can't even sit through a review of the show, because I get second hand embarrassed for the franchise. It used to be so good and now it's shit. We've always had strong female representation in Star Wars. Leia, Padme, Ahsoka(cartoon), Hera(cartoon), etc. I don't want a female led show if the story is shit and the characters are one dimensional. I want a good story with fully rounded character development. I don't care if the lead is a male, female or Jabba the Hut. From all that I've seen and heard about this show, nothing is making me want to watch it. I was so disappointed in the last trilogy and all the current shows, as they may be set into the Star Wars universe, but they are, at best, Star Wars fan fiction brought to life. And, I'd say there's a ton of Star Wars fan fiction that is a LOT better than this crap.
Girl, same. I don't even bother with it anymore. I'd rather watch creators like Disparu, Drinker and Echo Chamberlain, as they're the only people who make Disney's crap entertaining anymore.
Yep, some people could argue (not me) that Ahsoka was Dave Filoni's wet dream, but at least she had a decent story arc and character growth in the cartoons compared to Rey for example... Rey is the most 1-dimensional character that I have ever seen, it hurts even.
So, they bring in Carrie-Anne Moss only to give her 5 minutes of screentime and kill her off. With a freaking kunai. No, I'm not letting this go, cause this is stupid.
You watching it is the st00pid thing here, talk about the Consoomer loop on REEpeat. Do you never learn or are you just programmed to Consoom product- complain about product- get hyped for product- Consoom product in an ever continuing loop?
The Killmonger look. Disney just crunches numbers on things. Killmonger = popular villain in the Xmen marvel cinema world = more money Disney then says: make more money = make more killmonger
@@lostree1981i dont like Disney, but to say killmonger is a “popular xmen” villain. Yeah buddy, keep drinking the crazy juice. Killmonger not the main reason for that bad haircut
Yes. If they are going for inclusion let's get more aliens and fewer humans. Human superiority was an Empire thing anyway, if you bothered to read any of the books.
@@4lackofbetter Here's the thing though. The head writer for this series had apparently no knowledge of Star Wars so presumably neither her or anyone else involved in the series had bothered to read the books. Definitely needs more aliens.
'Woke' Female Narcissists are a major part of the 'Woke' Movement...who are a 'Collection of Covert Narcissists'. BLM, Islam, Transgender movement, Feminists (Female Narcs), Hollywood, etc. These are all groups which are the focus of Narcissism studies. So I suggest researching the 'Woke Mind Virus'...Covert Narcissism. Then you'll be ready when Guardian readers ('Narcissist Central') Project their own flaws...from Fascism to Privilege to Toxic Femininity. 'Woke' Covert Narcissists literally have Zero Self-Awareness..so they all Project their own behaviour and mindsets. You can even freak them out, by calling it out. I'm a 'Supernova Empath' so we know all their weaknesses (to destroy them). Guardian readers tend to run from us. They know what's coming...the Reckoning.
"A Jedi doesn't pull a weapon unless prepared to kill"??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! Wat?!?!?!? Have they not watched....any other Star Wars? Where the lightsabers are used literally just for defense? Oh, wait, dumb question, sorry.
It is meant to be a bazillion years in the past... though this line seems particularly out of place seeing as the twink Jedi Knight pulls his saber in t he middle of walking through a cave for literally now reason............ it's not ENTIRELY worth considering that the assassin has been fostered on a lot of false information. Most Sith are gonna have to lie to get people to follow them against a benevolent peace keeping force.
@@johannesseyfried7933 I mean, you can use a weapon without killing. Especially something as a lightsaber, which doubles as a shield in the hands of a jedi.
My question: If they are twins... Why they have SAME hairstyle? You mean that people who not saw each other for what, almost 20 years have absolutely same hairstyle? I don't know what flavor of -ism is it now.
"Surviving light saber wounds is super easy, barely an inconvenience." "That's why she's going to die from a small piece of metal." "What? Why?" "I dunno."
"Im such a good person im gonna let this murderous villain that just tried to kill me live so they can kill more innocent people in the future" Thats not heroism. Thats just weakness disguised as virtue. If you refuse to do what needs to be done to defeat evil, you shouldnt have the job of being the one everyone relies on to defeat evil.
Batman isn't Lawful good. If we are talking D&D alignment here... Lawful good is the pinnacle of goodness; Clerics, Paladins, etc. "Pure good" doesn't exist and would just be "lawful good". Batman may be a vigilante, but he doesn't kill and usually (always?) hands the criminals over to the authorities. He's more of a neutral good. He does good, always, but not within the confines of the law (vigilantism is typically unlawful), but he delivers criminals to the authorities which is the good thing to do. Maybe a chaotic good. I also would not say he is mentally unhinged. Perhaps at one point, but if he is then aren't all super heroes? Bruce took his pain of loss and the hatred and molded it into a force of vengeance against the corruption in Gotham, but still tries to be good (not killing) and bring the criminals to justice. Anyway.
@@James_Bee These classifications are contrived for the purpose of game mechanics. Also, neutral good is an oxymoron. You can be neutral or good, but not both.
@@James_Beeyes he’s mentally unhinged, so are all super heroes. Aside from potential aliens with different psychologies. A human with the power of a god is just an insane ape.
So let me get this straight, in two previous Disney Star Wars shows we've had one character get stabbed once and another stabbed twice with a lightsaber and somehow survive. But three seconds into this show Trinity dies by a tiny blade? Make it make sense Disney.
@@skullgenerations4666 If it was I would have like a "You think a wound like this..." Followed by "It's poisoned." Or something to make sense of it. As I recall force healing is a thing and a Jedi master probably knows it.
The blade contained a cluster of AI-powered, molecular-scale nano-tendrils that activate upon micro changes in air density combined with the negative G-forces induced by the impact of the blade onto its intended target. These nano-tendrils extend at near-light speed into the target and disperse into a pattern resembling a clustered spherical shell. These tendrils behave like tiny micro garotte wires- slicing, cutting, and dissecting everything it comes in contact with. This sudden dispersal of foreign material into Trinity's heart was utterly lethal, even though the tip of the blade barely pierced her outer layer of skin and breast tissue.
Two shit shows neutering lightsabers does not make a show advocating the deadliness of throwing knives bad. All that means is that two shows have neutered the lethality of lightsabers. Star Wars critics really like having their cake and eating it too. "Boo! People can't survive Stab Wounds worst show ever!" "Boo! People can't be killed by stab wounds worst show ever!"
I love the idea that "jedi skills aren't transferable" like the fuck are you talking about lady, you're faster, stronger, have better reflexes than pretty much anybody else, you can read people's minds and emotions, you can feel when bad things are gonna heppen, you've got fking telechinetic powers, you can do anything from being a pilot to some kind of dignitary or negociator. Fk me, mercenary, spy, bodyguard, detective/investigator, you could do drink mixing tricks with the force, but noo you've gotta work some illegal job for the trade federation because the world-building has been fucked for the last 10 years and it is not getting better. We're still pretending that there are like 2 levels of society in the universe is either Coruscant, the only technological planet in the universe or backwards desert worlds. I fking hate this shit.
"You lost your entire family. Your mothers, your sister, your village." Cool, thanks show for telling us all that. Woulda been way more interesting to actually see it happen or have us deduce it from context clues instead of the 5 second exposition dump.
It’s funny that they wanted to sell the two mothers message so hard that they missed the chance to add the line. “…when your father killed all of them”.
"You lost your entire family." Is all that was needed, no need to insert you had two female parents. On that note how do you exist!? Two women can't have children without help.
they aren't doing a good job at showing evil isn't evil when their dark side user is going around killing people who are minding their own business. hell she kills one guy after he apologizes to her. she's evil there is no gray here
@@kieration A hairstyle being ethnic does not make it exempt from criticism. It looks horrible on her. Just like old Japanese hairstyles will look ugly to some people. Just like some 'white people hairstyles' will put people off.
You know that some blue haired white woman wrote the line about pulling out your lightsaber meaning you're prepared to kill thinking it was analogous to a police officer pulling out their gun. Which is correct in a sense, but with a fundamental misunderstanding that being prepared to kill someone is not the same as intending to kill them.
Given that a lightsaber is not only better than a gun (or blaster) at not killing a target (or depending on the local medical facilities, even inflicting permanent harm) but capable of stopping an accidental or panicked shot without necessarily harming anybody, it's reasonable to expect citizens in that setting would have a slightly calmer view of a Jedi igniting a lightsaber than a police officer drawing a gun.
@@kenkaneki3873We can’t have writers at Disney actually knowing the source material, where would that lead to? Total chaos and anarchy once the fans would get a good show. I tell you, Kathleen Kennedy is saving society from all these toxic fans. /s
Can we have a tv-series where emperor Weinstein is backstabbed by his acolyte. It ends with her sitting on a throne in the ruins of his once great pervert empire.
How can you not remember OSHA?! Have you never worked in retail or any job that has to comply with OSHA for safety standards?! Maybe you aren't American. The name is DUMB for an American made show. It's as bad as Loki having the TVA!
So by lore, a sith is required to kill a Jedi, take their lightsaber and corrupt the crystal. What was the point of killing the Jedi if you weren't going to take her lightsaber You can become a true sith?
Remember in ANH when that alien tried to hurt Luke at the cantina, and before anyone knew what happened, Obi-Wan lightsabered that alien's arm off and let the entire place know who was boss? Remember in AOTC when Obi-Wan did the same thing to that changeling with even more speed? Yeah ... that was still back when the Jedi were the Jedi.
ANH? You mean Star Wars. Yeah. I'm that guy. Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back Return of the Jedi Those are the films titles. Not this George Lucas has to change everything crap.
The guy didn't try to "hurt" Luke, he tried to "kill" Luke. And unlike this one, Obi-Wan was not in complete control of the situation, nor was he all that swift on his feet anymore. Remember, this was at a time where Jedi did'nt jump over tall builings or pull down star destroyers from orbit. By contrast, Trinity was in complete control of the situation and the fight at all time. I can completely understand why you would want to subdue an opponent without killing or maiming them, and if you are THIS much more powerful, you can actually do that. Problem is, of course, you have to actually subdue your opponent, not allow them to stab at you repeatedly until they eventually succeed. Even without a lightsaber, the fight should have been over three seconds after veil girl attacked her first alien bystander.
I was trying to figure out why so many characters in this show just look so wrong, like they don't belong there. The jedi knight guy, the green alien chick, and I knew it couldn't be "the guys black", and I realised it's because they just don't blend in with the setting at all. They just look like you pulled someone off the streets of modern California and put them in a robe or painted them green. They just look too modern and it makes them stand out massively.
I can't even anymore. Apathy has been locked in even harder than the lock that Leslie locked in Harveys office door when she dropped off the young girls and went to get him his after drinks and baby wipes
I love the fact that there is better entertainment from Disparu than from the original material. "I felt a great disturbance in the fandom, as if millions of shareholders suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
37:24 the white alien girl literally told the Asian Jedi that any feelings lead to the dark side and yet the girl with the dreds said that she’s got to unlock her feels…in order to be a Jedi. Yeah, ok makes sense.
Well, since we find out that it's the Sith acolyte twin saying that to her, it makes sense, surprisingly, in this storyline. Evil twin is trying to get her to come to the Dark Side.
Makes as much as sense as a character who says she trusts the jedi nearly killing herself 5 minutes later because she's running away from the jedi. Someone wrote this...
I knew about Acolyte from its very conception and knew from the premise alone that it would be the worst star wars content besides the fallen order franchise
To get to Trinity's heart, that dagger has to pass through the following... Four layers of thick robe-like material, consisting of two layers each of her visible garments Does she have on a bra or some kind of Jedi underwear? I would presume so. Three layers of skin The soft tissue of her left breast The various musculature and soft tissue that sits above the sternum The sternum itself The soft tissue between the sternum and the heart Various dura, muscle, fat, liquid buffer etc that surround the heart And finally the heart itself That short dagger is simply small for it to penetrate that deeply into her chest cavity. The only way this would kill her would be for it to be force thrown with such velocity that it passeed through her body entirely and came out the opposite side leaving a massive gaping exit wound!!! I just find it utterly ridiculous that people can survive being totally impalled by a light saber multiple times and not be mortally wounded, yet this tiny dagger that is thrown from across the room is utterly lethal. Bollocks! Star Wars is so dead. It's nothing more than a joke at this point.
@@TheBigGSN5 you are a genuine idiot if you believe that. 1. The prequels expanded the world building and whose toys and games sold quite well. Saying that they’re garbage is revisionist history. 2. The only thing most people criticize the prequels for is the dialogue. Everything else depends purely on the viewer. The new stuff gets ripped apart about everything by everyone. 3. Why did the prequels have a solid audience including for side stuff and clearly didn’t chase people off since people came back to theaters when Disney put out its first movie while Disney has been on a decline ever since then?
The Acolyte (15:00) - where they rely on a 15yo girl to fix their trillion dollar spaceship... ("Don't know, but she's really good with Raspberry Pies and Lego Technics!...")
The purple haired club needs to understand that there will never ever ever be a world where their twisted view on reality actually is reality. The day two mommies can create life without Dr. Frankenstein is the day they can create art.
Dylan is too pale for modern disney, and may still have dangly bits, so they'd rather go for an attention seeking woman, I mean non-binary individual of a darker complexion.
Was that seriously an open flame in space just burning like a campfire? Like theres a breeze and oxygen in rhe vacuum of space? These stunningly brave diverse gay communist first females to ever be involved in star wars on any level whatsoever are SO smart.. its incredible.. stunning. So brave.
If Disney will insist on girl-bosses, at least use actresses who have some sort of presence and sense of threat. They do exist! Instead they use tiny little actresses with nothing about them at all. Just bland tick box hires...pathetic and extremely funny to watch.
Women big and strong enough to play convincing action heroines also have enough androgens to resist coercion from a "Weinstein". Imagine Harvey trying to SA Roxanne Perez.Hilarious,isn't it?
Seriously, the woman who portrayed Laegertha in the Vikings series, or the woman who played T.J. in Stargate Universe or the woman who played Lt. Vanessa James in Stargate Universe. Those are some badass actresses!
Logic failures in EP1. 1. Bad sister looks at Bar owner and back at Jedi. It is clear to everyone that the bad sister is going to attack the owner. Force push bad sister into wall preventing attack. Story over. Series ends. 2. Good sister spends the night on a ship in space and is accused of murdering a Jedi. Why didn't they check the ship logs confirming that another ship docked/left the ship good sister slept on? How can she be on a planet when the logs clearly prove that she was on the ship? Answer: Because doing so would invalidate the storyline. Proving bad writing. Bad logic. 3. Good sister crashes while strapped in a chair. Wakes up on floor. Seat Belts are clearly torn apart. Good Sister should have bruises, probably cracked/broken ribs. Yet no injuries are shown. Logic doesn't track!
On point 2 I think they were trying to muddy the waters a bit with that line from a coworker asking why she stayed in instead of joining them on the overnight there and back again joyride to Nar Shaddaa that a bunch of the crew apparently went on. (Where was the ship though? Is it over Nar Shaddaa? They mentioned working for CorSec, didn't they? Corellia's security force? They shouldn't have been that close to Hutt Space, right?) There absolutely should be logs of some sort of all the comings and goings in and out of the ship, but in this show it feels like they only trust word of mouth and that they never refer to digital records? I mean, like with the cantina owner identifying "good sister" as the assassin... Perhaps a business owner's time would be better spent on giving the authorities copies of holotape surveillance of the incident so he can focus on documenting the damage for insurance (if that's a thing in Star Wars) and getting the repairs started? But no, apparently they had to drag him with them to approach the suspect. Shut down your business indefinitely, we're taking you with us on the manhunt.
how many times is this show gonna contradict itself, "may is dead i watched her die" "she's alive i believe you" "a jedi can't be killed by steel or lasers" kills jedi with dagger in first scene
That bartender is definitely not getting father of the year. He stays with his young child near a violent fight. When everyone else left, why didn't he grab his child and run?
This is a common thing in really bad writing, and I’m not defending it, but they did it to make the audience have sympathy for the evil twin because she doesn’t kill alien children, blurring the lines between good and evil (which is dumb). In order to show us the evil twin isn’t all that bad, that alien dad has to sit there like an idiot with his small alien child, in harms way, just so we can see the main character evil twin not kill them, which is supposed to make us the audience feel like “oh she’s not that bad.” This is a tactic used by bad writers, they lower ability/logic of other characters in order to prop up their weak main characters without having to actually think through how things would really go down if every character actually has a brain and critical thinking skills.
@@DefyThemAllyeah, it's so cliche and I hate it too. And people just eat it up so they have a reason to like an evil character. Because they did a good thing. Also, I love your pfp as you can tell by mine 😊
You know what would be a great reason to use an all-droid crew on a prison transport AND guarantee no escape? If only the prison cells were pressurized. You want to try and breach your cell? Eat vacuum. And no air in the rest of the ship wouldn't bother droids in the slightest.
See, the issue here is you are thinking like a man and using logic. Leslye Headland is some species of 'female' and therefore only thinks with "feewings", so logic being patriarchal and misogynist has NO place in her misandrist view of the world.
@@TheRandompaint that would need constant electricity. I prefer the first idea, of the environment itself creating the prison, like Alcatraz in space, only its lack of atmosphere. Consant electrical current would probably cause a fire, on a space ship, which is dumb.
It's a really lame line, considering that stars are enormous balls of nuclear fusion and oceans are enormous bodies of heavy, somtimes violently tossing, water. Like, these things don't just hang out doing nothing
The Neimoidians don't even sound like Neimoidians, they just sound like your average everyday English speaking-person off the street in the Western world?!?!?!?! Was it because Pissney LudicrousFilm deemed the Neimoidian accent "racist"?!?!?!
No wonder Disney keeps hemorrhaging money. The first scene was so stupid 😂 Your being attacked and so are innocents around you, but you refuse to use your lightsaber. Obviously you should have just killed her quickly. It don't make no sense!
Just when I started thinking there was nothing else Disney could do to destroy Star Wars, The Crapolyte comes along. How much more can they lower themselves.
Welp there goes anything else… you asked the question, someone will rise to challenge, and make this look good in comparison.😂😂. I don’t know how but it will happen.
"This text on the screen cost about 230,000 dollars" Even if you "adjust for snark" - that just magnifies how egregiously expensive the actual action scenes are... At its height of corruption, *_not even Venezuela_* could have made up those kinds of numbers. The people working at Disney are literally incapable of comprehending shame.
Why does every mixed guy have that same hair cut in every medium? Half dread with shaved sides. Its everywhere, can they not figure out any other hair style?
@@skylx0812 my point is that they seem to think that this particular hair style is the only one mixed people wear. While there are numerous other styles that they could use.
I am so glad that tiny knives are now more deadly than lightsabers. Disney just couldn't resist destroying lightsabers even more, I guess lightsabers have dangily bits
@@Inastewpopotogo 🤣 no, I'm descended from the generation of Poles that were allowed to settle here after WW2. It's the newer generations that build houses. Our lot took over from the Irish and built your roads and motorways 😏
Well, Doctor Who is special to them and it has been brutally murdered. Currently, the show has the worst ratings of any Who ever and is dropping numbers like crazy.
That's not a haircut, that's a mop. Probably a fashion trend on the intergalactic insta or tik-tok. Speaking of... to kill a jedi without weapons could be the jedi challenge.
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. - Orwell 1984 and absolutely not a coincidence that that Jedi master said that do not trust your eyes they can fool you. Remember who is making this show and the agenda and loyalty that they have to the party
The Assassin expects the Jedi lady to behave like a Skyrim NPC, “I just tried to attack you a few minutes ago, but if I stand and wait for a bit, you’ll forget about me and disengage”
Last year the writers guild and SAG held us hostage for 6 months.... For this crap? What's up with everyone whispering? Urgh, thank you for watching this so I don't have too
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we live in an age of *unparalleled* production value...with writing that makes a five year old's creative writing projects look like Shakespeare.
Star Wars The Acolyte Review of Season 1 Episode 1, where I was promised the ultimate social commentary and instead ended up with a hilarious take bordering on parody. While watching it, I did keep checking the clock, but while watching a second time and recording I hate a great time. Admittedly, I spent more time taking the piss and talking about random side lines than the actual show, but a good time all the same 🤣The episode gets worse as it goes on with the first fight clearly having the most time spent on it. By the end the real life sets go out the window and we have transitions across various CGI volume sets. And none of this makes sense, even down to directly contradicting ourselves, sometimes in the next sentence! So if this is how the series starts, I'm looking forwards to the rest, especially episode 3 which I've heard totally ruins the force. Should be fun, alongside their attempt at moral philosophy discussions. But what did you think of what you saw? Let me know your thoughts down below and as always, thanks for watching :)
Everyone needs to encourage D.A to make a t-shirt of his rant today ! Best quote of this century !!!!!!
I have the name of the show, the Gatrix. Like matrix, but gay.....and lame.
I see fire.
Gandalf- 🎶OH! Misty eye of the mountain below.🎶
I love your reviews so much. ❤
I will say I think the scene in the cells where the guy chnages his tune is more due to the Jedi mindcontrolling him rather than incosistent writing. Now that's still awful because Jedi shouldn't be using the mind trick or whaever that was so candidly but oes require a different critique.
For some reason, I got an ad for toilet paper before the video started playing.
Ooooh That explains why i had a Diarrhoea Tablet advert before mine…….
Very appropriate.
Fitting considering what this show is
I often get adult female diaper ads with Disparu videos, especially if I’m watching via smart tv. In fact, a lot of the ads I get during his videos seem targeted at older women. Wonder what his viewership metrics look like.
Me too
Disney can call me anything they want but they can not call me a customer.
WIN.
But.. but.. don’t you realize how marginalized these upper class women being paid to fail are?! How could you not support them?!
@@coltj5907 I see you assumed their gender, comrade.
@@MrHouseparty6 You mean like your choice in handles assumed yours..."comrade".
As long as you guys keep their name in your mouth and keep them relevant, that's enough. Maybe ask all these youtube superchat grifters why they have never tried to provide any indie alternatives to the mainstream? (other than this trash Rippaverse "product" that they're all pushing for personal gain reasons)... instead of potentially supporting and growing an entire indie scene and getting people excited about it, it's just Groundhog's Day over and over "Did you guys know Star Wars is dead?" Let's shake our fist at them for years and keep reminding them that they won. Do you find it as weird as I do that they NEVER STOP talking about Disney? They KEEP WATCHING their programming and letting us know "Star Wars is dead!" while giving Disney ALL the free press they could want!
The irony of a character named 'Osha' causing workplace accidents is amazing
COMMENT OF THE YEAR RIGHT THERE! 🤣
That explains why everyone she works with hates her
Oh that’s amazing 😂😂
I'm honestly still focusing on how a bunch of writers got together in a room, started coming up with names for all the characters, and at no point did anyone ask,
"Isn't it going to be a little distracting that our lead character has a name that sounds exactly like the administration for safety and health?"
@@dynostretch9215 I think that’s a great example of how out of touch these people are.
"I trained to be a Jedi but those skills aren't exactly transferable"
Really? Bounty hunter, security, mercenary, local law enforcement, consulting on all previously mentioned professions.
Who's writing this bollox?
Leslye Headland did.
@@JustTooDamnHonest Headland: "I used to bring attractive women to a fat man's hotel room, those skills aren't exactly transferrable"
Kathleen Kennedy: "Come write a Star Wars series"
Not to mention non-combat skills: diplomatic communication, mental/spiritual discipline, advisory, etc.
Idiots who thought Anakin blew up the death star.
Diplomacy, negotiations, etc.
Before the clone wars, Jedi were more than a military organization
That "you lost your mothers" line was cringe. Why not just say "you lost your parents", which would encompass every possible combination of gender? But no, they had to specify 'mothers' to make sure that we, the audience, know that her parents, who will have no relevance whatsoever in this story because they died a long time ago, were in fact gay.
Well at least her mother was. We don't know about her dad. Two women can't be parents.
@@mastergrillex Seems they can. Ep3 reveals that one woman used the Force to make the other pregnant.
To that, I will quote the only good line from Disney Star Wars: "That's not how the Force works!"
@@benjaminfranklin9966 What? The delusion is strong with these writers.
@@benjaminfranklin9966 I hate to defend this, but wasn´t Anakin also a Force baby? He was the chosen one and all that...
All I´m saying is that yes, it´s stupid, but a similar thing happened before.
@@johnyshadow It seems like that was an anomaly with the Force itself causing him to be born. I don't think "Force Sex" is a very good ability to invent, but here we are.
"characters can be only as smart as people writing them" - Yep, the whole writing team is mentally deficient.
that is why in all of those modern movies when a character has a "Genius" plan. There actually is absolutely nothing genius and no planing about it, just writers forcing the plot so the "Genius" ends up with the upper hand.
Not because it makes sense and makes you think "Damn i never saw that coming but it makes so much sense now!".
Instead the first reaction most people usually have is "But how would he know this....or how could he have predicted this."
Or just a confused "Really" because it only makes sense off screen. Nothing genius was happening on screen.
$9000 a second... I'm a black woman with no talent. Where's my money 🤨?
obama has it up in Martha's Vineyard
prove it.
But are you trans???
you aren’t oppressed enough!
One has to wonder where the money goes. I've wondered this since Rings of Power.
She’s actually a horrible actress. She was better in Hunger games when she was as silent majority of the time, and dying.
Those first few lines were terrible. I'm convinced a robot would be more believable.
She really is pretty despite the mop on her head but god dang this show looks shite.
Totally agree! She got a small but very emotional role. I liked here in there.
Industry plant
And her ‘dying’ was her just laying there like shes about to take a nap. Stellar acting, not
I'm a woman who grew up on the original trilogy. I've always loved Star Wars. However, I can't even sit through a review of the show, because I get second hand embarrassed for the franchise. It used to be so good and now it's shit. We've always had strong female representation in Star Wars. Leia, Padme, Ahsoka(cartoon), Hera(cartoon), etc. I don't want a female led show if the story is shit and the characters are one dimensional. I want a good story with fully rounded character development. I don't care if the lead is a male, female or Jabba the Hut. From all that I've seen and heard about this show, nothing is making me want to watch it. I was so disappointed in the last trilogy and all the current shows, as they may be set into the Star Wars universe, but they are, at best, Star Wars fan fiction brought to life. And, I'd say there's a ton of Star Wars fan fiction that is a LOT better than this crap.
The director was under the influence of Harvey Weinstein. She saw what he got for his power, now she's taking it.
the acting, writting and dialoges looks like some side side side quests in a mmorpg.
disney truly ruins everything they touching.
Girl, same. I don't even bother with it anymore. I'd rather watch creators like Disparu, Drinker and Echo Chamberlain, as they're the only people who make Disney's crap entertaining anymore.
Any story or movie where women are cast in the roles of men is not true to life.
Yep, some people could argue (not me) that Ahsoka was Dave Filoni's wet dream, but at least she had a decent story arc and character growth in the cartoons compared to Rey for example... Rey is the most 1-dimensional character that I have ever seen, it hurts even.
So the Jedis are supposed to be 'bad' in this show, but our protagonist is taking hostages and throwing women over balconies...
Remember what they said in their interviews, good and evil is in the eyes of the beholder… because they lack any morals.
@chazzitz-wh4ly she's grappling with her helping Harvey weinstein fasho
When a woman does it, that means it is not illegal.
And if there is gayness, that goes double.
Jedi is already plural, please take that with you to the future. I don't mean to be a Dick but this is one that really bothers me 😂 sorry
@@andreix123
And you only have to post the message once for us to read it.
So, they bring in Carrie-Anne Moss only to give her 5 minutes of screentime and kill her off. With a freaking kunai. No, I'm not letting this go, cause this is stupid.
She got a big paycheck at least.
She does appear again in flashbacks.
@@Reprobus3
Flshbacks: an overused trope from hack writers
You watching it is the st00pid thing here, talk about the Consoomer loop on REEpeat.
Do you never learn or are you just programmed to Consoom product- complain about product- get hyped for product- Consoom product in an ever continuing loop?
If Mae's master is Darth Plaguis I will upgrade this show from F- to F
15:24 holy shit, they really gave yet another black dude the "I was written by a white woman who has never met a black person in my entire life" hair
The Killmonger look. Disney just crunches numbers on things.
Killmonger = popular villain in the Xmen marvel cinema world = more money
Disney then says: make more money = make more killmonger
@@lostree1981i dont like Disney, but to say killmonger is a “popular xmen” villain. Yeah buddy, keep drinking the crazy juice. Killmonger not the main reason for that bad haircut
@@explosivez1096I'd say he kills the look.
@@lostree1981He is the main villain in Black Panther which is the most popular one. I don’t think there is one in the x men universe.
What? I’ve literally met black kids with this style of dread. What did you want him to have? An Afro? A flat top?
"I remember when my eyes were that far apart, I almost got a role in the Little Mermaid!", I... I... Wow! The most brutal burn of the day.
Yes. If they are going for inclusion let's get more aliens and fewer humans. Human superiority was an Empire thing anyway, if you bothered to read any of the books.
I’m at work walking around my department and all of a sudden I bust out laughing…. Customers were around me.
yes. hollywood has an obsession with women who look like sloths.
@@4lackofbetter Here's the thing though. The head writer for this series had apparently no knowledge of Star Wars so presumably neither her or anyone else involved in the series had bothered to read the books. Definitely needs more aliens.
Thank God someone else saw that. What is with this trend these days? Rachel Ziegler too
When your show is basically a gigantic self-insert, it's about narcissism, not "inclusion."
And "evil, is it really so?" Leslie is very interested in this idea. For some reason... Harvy. Assistant.
What up twin
'Woke' Female Narcissists are a major part of the 'Woke' Movement...who are a 'Collection of Covert Narcissists'.
BLM, Islam, Transgender movement, Feminists (Female Narcs), Hollywood, etc.
These are all groups which are the focus of Narcissism studies.
So I suggest researching the 'Woke Mind Virus'...Covert Narcissism.
Then you'll be ready when Guardian readers ('Narcissist Central') Project their own flaws...from Fascism to Privilege to Toxic Femininity.
'Woke' Covert Narcissists literally have Zero Self-Awareness..so they all Project their own behaviour and mindsets.
You can even freak them out, by calling it out.
I'm a 'Supernova Empath' so we know all their weaknesses (to destroy them). Guardian readers tend to run from us. They know what's coming...the Reckoning.
It's ok to be Gray, it's not ok to be whatever this is.
Sure it is - you "include" yourself in your own show :P
South Park : Joining the Pandaverse is basically a documentary about Disney at this point
Only without the retarded asspull at the end where the 'toxic fanbase' forgives Kathleen and Bob Iger's incompetence
"A Jedi doesn't pull a weapon unless prepared to kill"??!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! Wat?!?!?!? Have they not watched....any other Star Wars? Where the lightsabers are used literally just for defense? Oh, wait, dumb question, sorry.
Cutting off arms is pretty popular in this universe.
Disney sucks.
I guess it's supposed to immitate the Samurai Code? Where you don't draw your weapon unless you intend to actually use it? 🤔
@@johannesseyfried7933
Jedi aren't samurais. Completely different rules
It is meant to be a bazillion years in the past... though this line seems particularly out of place seeing as the twink Jedi Knight pulls his saber in t he middle of walking through a cave for literally now reason............ it's not ENTIRELY worth considering that the assassin has been fostered on a lot of false information. Most Sith are gonna have to lie to get people to follow them against a benevolent peace keeping force.
@@johannesseyfried7933 I mean, you can use a weapon without killing. Especially something as a lightsaber, which doubles as a shield in the hands of a jedi.
Disney never disappoint when it comes to disappointment. 😅
I'm shockingly unshocked.
Anti-disappointment
masters are Disney
At least they are consistent. Consistently bad. 😂
2nd reply comment in this string to see if I can post anything
@@M-S_4321 YT keeps deleting my comments, they even deleted a comment of me buying a dlc, twice.
My question: If they are twins... Why they have SAME hairstyle?
You mean that people who not saw each other for what, almost 20 years have absolutely same hairstyle?
I don't know what flavor of -ism is it now.
its dread mon, truly dread.
As it seems 9000$ a second wasn't enough to get that woman two separate wigs
"I was once a Star Wars fan the same as your father...before the dark times...before Disney, Bob Iger, and Leslye Headland." ;)
Igercissism - like narcissism but more sticky and caustic
Took and arrow to the knee.
Tell me the part about Ahsoka, Ben. There are no panties in space, amirite?
How did the Star Wars die?
@@KdogPrime the Igermouse unalived it
The force is female, but the failure will all be down to men…
Is this how patriarchy is supposed to work? 🤔
The most ineffective patriarchy of all history
These creature's don't want any accountability for terrible things they do but want the credit for something they didn't do
After telling their male dominated audience that it wasn't made for men. But it's still men's fault it fails.
Not progressive enough. The force is transgender.
I absolutely hate that they all talk like they're from any major city on earth in 2024
That's called bad writing :)
Everywhere has to look like space North London and space Los Angeles.
Los Angeles
Yo da force be lit fam frfr ayyyyyyyy
@@DabNaggit The force is great babes.
"Surviving light saber wounds is super easy, barely an inconvenience."
"That's why she's going to die from a small piece of metal."
"What? Why?"
"I dunno."
You have a new Lesbians in Space movie for me?
Oh, sir, yes i do!!
_"surviving light saber sounds is _*_THIGHT_*
"Hey, shut up. And then she is going to have to decide between the dagger and the lightsaber."
I’m gonna need you to get way off my back.
It's always a delight finding fellow Ryan George fans in unrelated comment sections.
"Im such a good person im gonna let this murderous villain that just tried to kill me live so they can kill more innocent people in the future"
Thats not heroism. Thats just weakness disguised as virtue. If you refuse to do what needs to be done to defeat evil, you shouldnt have the job of being the one everyone relies on to defeat evil.
These people unironically believe that Batman is pure good and not just Lawful Good whilst being mentally unhinged himself
Batman isn't Lawful good. If we are talking D&D alignment here...
Lawful good is the pinnacle of goodness; Clerics, Paladins, etc.
"Pure good" doesn't exist and would just be "lawful good".
Batman may be a vigilante, but he doesn't kill and usually (always?) hands the criminals over to the authorities.
He's more of a neutral good. He does good, always, but not within the confines of the law (vigilantism is typically unlawful), but he delivers criminals to the authorities which is the good thing to do.
Maybe a chaotic good.
I also would not say he is mentally unhinged. Perhaps at one point, but if he is then aren't all super heroes?
Bruce took his pain of loss and the hatred and molded it into a force of vengeance against the corruption in Gotham, but still tries to be good (not killing) and bring the criminals to justice.
Anyway.
@@James_Bee These classifications are contrived for the purpose of game mechanics. Also, neutral good is an oxymoron. You can be neutral or good, but not both.
@@James_Bee ok you can shut up now
@@James_Beeyes he’s mentally unhinged, so are all super heroes. Aside from potential aliens with different psychologies. A human with the power of a god is just an insane ape.
So let me get this straight, in two previous Disney Star Wars shows we've had one character get stabbed once and another stabbed twice with a lightsaber and somehow survive.
But three seconds into this show Trinity dies by a tiny blade? Make it make sense Disney.
They absolutely can't
It was poisoned
@@skullgenerations4666 If it was I would have like a "You think a wound like this..." Followed by "It's poisoned." Or something to make sense of it. As I recall force healing is a thing and a Jedi master probably knows it.
The blade contained a cluster of AI-powered, molecular-scale nano-tendrils that activate upon micro changes in air density combined with the negative G-forces induced by the impact of the blade onto its intended target. These nano-tendrils extend at near-light speed into the target and disperse into a pattern resembling a clustered spherical shell. These tendrils behave like tiny micro garotte wires- slicing, cutting, and dissecting everything it comes in contact with. This sudden dispersal of foreign material into Trinity's heart was utterly lethal, even though the tip of the blade barely pierced her outer layer of skin and breast tissue.
Two shit shows neutering lightsabers does not make a show advocating the deadliness of throwing knives bad. All that means is that two shows have neutered the lethality of lightsabers. Star Wars critics really like having their cake and eating it too. "Boo! People can't survive Stab Wounds worst show ever!" "Boo! People can't be killed by stab wounds worst show ever!"
"I remember when my eyes were that far apart too, I almost got a role in the Little Mermaid" The way I HOWLED
I love the idea that "jedi skills aren't transferable" like the fuck are you talking about lady, you're faster, stronger, have better reflexes than pretty much anybody else, you can read people's minds and emotions, you can feel when bad things are gonna heppen, you've got fking telechinetic powers, you can do anything from being a pilot to some kind of dignitary or negociator. Fk me, mercenary, spy, bodyguard, detective/investigator, you could do drink mixing tricks with the force, but noo you've gotta work some illegal job for the trade federation because the world-building has been fucked for the last 10 years and it is not getting better. We're still pretending that there are like 2 levels of society in the universe is either Coruscant, the only technological planet in the universe or backwards desert worlds. I fking hate this shit.
"You lost your entire family. Your mothers, your sister, your village." Cool, thanks show for telling us all that. Woulda been way more interesting to actually see it happen or have us deduce it from context clues instead of the 5 second exposition dump.
It’s funny that they wanted to sell the two mothers message so hard that they missed the chance to add the line. “…when your father killed all of them”.
"You lost your entire family." Is all that was needed, no need to insert you had two female parents. On that note how do you exist!? Two women can't have children without help.
Also she should have been taken from her family as an infant. Isn’t that how they did it? Anakin was too old and had family attachment.
“Mothers” 😅😆😂😂😂🤣💀
Rebel Moon vibes...
they killed Carrie Anne Moss even before the opening credits? well done show... now we only have unknown planks of wood left
they aren't doing a good job at showing evil isn't evil when their dark side user is going around killing people who are minding their own business. hell she kills one guy after he apologizes to her. she's evil there is no gray here
It'll be like in Falcon and the Winter Soldier, where they told us that a homicidal terrorist is somehow worth of our sympathy.
Evil is now as fluid as gender.
Twins separated since childhood, living in different parts of the galaxy, still somehow manage to have the exact same stupid mop hairstyle.
I just thought she would have changed her hairstyle from when she was a child.
Quantum hair entanglement.
@@ant270 ..by extension(s).
@@kieration A hairstyle being ethnic does not make it exempt from criticism. It looks horrible on her. Just like old Japanese hairstyles will look ugly to some people. Just like some 'white people hairstyles' will put people off.
Mopstyle of the Hair is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
You know that some blue haired white woman wrote the line about pulling out your lightsaber meaning you're prepared to kill thinking it was analogous to a police officer pulling out their gun. Which is correct in a sense, but with a fundamental misunderstanding that being prepared to kill someone is not the same as intending to kill them.
It was cowritten by Headland (the other writer being Jasmyne Fluornoy) and I think we can all agree she is honorarily blue haired, lol.
What about when Obi-Wan pulled out his lightsaber in the cantina and didn't kill Ponda Baba but instead merely disarmed him?
@@DanKojakThat would require that they watched the previous movies
Given that a lightsaber is not only better than a gun (or blaster) at not killing a target (or depending on the local medical facilities, even inflicting permanent harm) but capable of stopping an accidental or panicked shot without necessarily harming anybody, it's reasonable to expect citizens in that setting would have a slightly calmer view of a Jedi igniting a lightsaber than a police officer drawing a gun.
@@kenkaneki3873We can’t have writers at Disney actually knowing the source material, where would that lead to? Total chaos and anarchy once the fans would get a good show. I tell you, Kathleen Kennedy is saving society from all these toxic fans. /s
Can we have a tv-series where emperor Weinstein is backstabbed by his acolyte. It ends with her sitting on a throne in the ruins of his once great pervert empire.
I think Black Widow did that.
Hey, cut the lesbo some slack! I'm sure she only helped Harvey the Perv because they were both searching for the same thing... Young p ssy...
This entire show is a troll on Star Wars and its original fans. It could only be this bad on purpose.
That’s why nostalgia is branded as a way to the dark side.
Or trying to appeal to an imaginary fan base that likes this crap.
Just like She-hulk. They decided to do what they anticipated the audience to dislike, for no sane reason.
yep. the whole idea is to stir people up by pissing on them.
Was the Christmas Special a prophecy?
One of Nerdrotics superchats today called the show runner Lesbian Headlamp. No comment from me, I just want to spread awareness of that name
It's simply memorable
Alright, that's a new one. 😄
Lego Headman
Pretty sure it was Fear the Tardo who said it.
The main character girl (can't remember her name) can not act her way out of a paper bag. Good lord, it's awful.
The same girl who, in the hunger games, after being stabbed, represented dying as taking a quiet nap
Probably cuz she got as much character to her as a wet paper bag.
Either that or wet bread, take your pick....absolutely useless
How can you not remember OSHA?!
Have you never worked in retail or any job that has to comply with OSHA for safety standards?!
Maybe you aren't American. The name is DUMB for an American made show.
It's as bad as Loki having the TVA!
@@James_Bee “Maybe you aren’t American” Wouldn’t that be a statistical anomly! 😂
christ no womder the entire planet mocks you americans
@@lingricen8077 Ohhh that's the same actress? I just watched that movie and noted how miscast she was, lol.
"Hey let's crack open some bud lights and watch the Acolyte."
"Uh...dude...I'm flattered, but i dont swing that way."
Loooool
gold
I love how all the sudden women are all mechanics / computer nerds and expert bare knuckle fighters
They're all knuckle-heads with mechanical pets that they invented because nobody wants anything to do with them.
Basically that terrible film Fall Guy
Its like Instagram girls pretending to be those lol
So by lore, a sith is required to kill a Jedi, take their lightsaber and corrupt the crystal. What was the point of killing the Jedi if you weren't going to take her lightsaber You can become a true sith?
Is that not why she went there?
Remember in ANH when that alien tried to hurt Luke at the cantina, and before anyone knew what happened, Obi-Wan lightsabered that alien's arm off and let the entire place know who was boss? Remember in AOTC when Obi-Wan did the same thing to that changeling with even more speed? Yeah ... that was still back when the Jedi were the Jedi.
ANH? You mean Star Wars.
Yeah. I'm that guy.
Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Those are the films titles. Not this George Lucas has to change everything crap.
@James_Bee he's right you know
@@James_Beedont be that guy lol
Everybody hates that. It was called star wars before there were any other movies. Now its just confusing. Dont be lame
Found the ick side of the fandom
The guy didn't try to "hurt" Luke, he tried to "kill" Luke. And unlike this one, Obi-Wan was not in complete control of the situation, nor was he all that swift on his feet anymore. Remember, this was at a time where Jedi did'nt jump over tall builings or pull down star destroyers from orbit.
By contrast, Trinity was in complete control of the situation and the fight at all time.
I can completely understand why you would want to subdue an opponent without killing or maiming them, and if you are THIS much more powerful, you can actually do that.
Problem is, of course, you have to actually subdue your opponent, not allow them to stab at you repeatedly until they eventually succeed.
Even without a lightsaber, the fight should have been over three seconds after veil girl attacked her first alien bystander.
Poor Chris Gore had to watch all 4 episodes twice.
This show probably gave Chris more brain damage than the stroke.
You can say he's a little... "Star Stroke"...meh...meh .meh..meh
He likes trash, though. He thought The Flash was "a good Batman movie".
What a trooper.
@@matane2465 Clearly a sign of brain impairment, should have been a telltale sign for the stroke
This show is gonna give me a stroke with how bad this writing is.
I was trying to figure out why so many characters in this show just look so wrong, like they don't belong there. The jedi knight guy, the green alien chick, and I knew it couldn't be "the guys black", and I realised it's because they just don't blend in with the setting at all. They just look like you pulled someone off the streets of modern California and put them in a robe or painted them green. They just look too modern and it makes them stand out massively.
"I remember when my eyes were that far apart too, I almost got a role in The Little Mermaid" 😂😂😂
My favorite thing from this video 😂
Genuinely one of my favorite lines in the video.
I can't even anymore. Apathy has been locked in even harder than the lock that Leslie locked in Harveys office door when she dropped off the young girls and went to get him his after drinks and baby wipes
I can envision that mindset in the production of this tripe.
Apathy is death.
Can't even what?
huh?
@@TheREALSimagination care about starwars
I love the fact that there is better entertainment from Disparu than from the original material.
"I felt a great disturbance in the fandom, as if millions of shareholders suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
37:24 the white alien girl literally told the Asian Jedi that any feelings lead to the dark side and yet the girl with the dreds said that she’s got to unlock her feels…in order to be a Jedi. Yeah, ok makes sense.
This just shows that the writers, and to an extent the actors and directors, don’t know shit.
Well, since we find out that it's the Sith acolyte twin saying that to her, it makes sense, surprisingly, in this storyline. Evil twin is trying to get her to come to the Dark Side.
Makes as much as sense as a character who says she trusts the jedi nearly killing herself 5 minutes later because she's running away from the jedi.
Someone wrote this...
I waited over a year for this. Finally seeing Acolyte get the Disparu treatment. Ive been waiting for this.
its so nice they make content for us
A girl name OSHA not following safety guidelines. Missed opportunity for a joke there.
I knew about Acolyte from its very conception and knew from the premise alone that it would be the worst star wars content besides the fallen order franchise
Remember when we all hated Jar-Jar? I almost feel bad now, seeing this crap.
No he is still shit. You don't become a good movie because you're the least shitty in the shit pile.
Ahh... The GOOD old days!
To get to Trinity's heart, that dagger has to pass through the following...
Four layers of thick robe-like material, consisting of two layers each of her visible garments
Does she have on a bra or some kind of Jedi underwear? I would presume so.
Three layers of skin
The soft tissue of her left breast
The various musculature and soft tissue that sits above the sternum
The sternum itself
The soft tissue between the sternum and the heart
Various dura, muscle, fat, liquid buffer etc that surround the heart
And finally the heart itself
That short dagger is simply small for it to penetrate that deeply into her chest cavity. The only way this would kill her would be for it to be force thrown with such velocity that it passeed through her body entirely and came out the opposite side leaving a massive gaping exit wound!!!
I just find it utterly ridiculous that people can survive being totally impalled by a light saber multiple times and not be mortally wounded, yet this tiny dagger that is thrown from across the room is utterly lethal. Bollocks!
Star Wars is so dead. It's nothing more than a joke at this point.
"There is no underwear in space" so no bra
*New* Star Wars is dead. I would argue the original 6 movies (originals+prequels) are very much alive.
Excellent analysis by the way
@@TheBigGSN5 you are a genuine idiot if you believe that.
1. The prequels expanded the world building and whose toys and games sold quite well. Saying that they’re garbage is revisionist history.
2. The only thing most people criticize the prequels for is the dialogue. Everything else depends purely on the viewer. The new stuff gets ripped apart about everything by everyone.
3. Why did the prequels have a solid audience including for side stuff and clearly didn’t chase people off since people came back to theaters when Disney put out its first movie while Disney has been on a decline ever since then?
@@TheBigGSN5 they're awful but they're not this bad
Yup
All these women are trying to deliver lines like men. But there's no presence behind any of it.
Hmm, whispering in a deep, breathy voice, "I'm here to kill you.", had presence... No, it didn't, LOL. It was sexy as hell...
Accurate description, it's all uttered out of the neck, not the gut. We hear them say it, but we don't feel it.
The Acolyte (15:00) - where they rely on a 15yo girl to fix their trillion dollar spaceship... ("Don't know, but she's really good with Raspberry Pies and Lego Technics!...")
Mechnic. 🙄
@@lostree1981 Yeah, she just got her Mechanic's diploma from technical college and SpaceX is going to hire her to look after the Mars mission...🤔
"You lost your entire family. Your mothers, you sister..."
Erm, is that an entire family or does there seem to be one gender missing?
First ran across this in Chuck Wendig's piece of garbage (Aftermath). It's a theme Disney are going with.
Yep, that’s no family
“Mothers”👀
The purple haired club needs to understand that there will never ever ever be a world where their twisted view on reality actually is reality. The day two mommies can create life without Dr. Frankenstein is the day they can create art.
@@Wien1938Chuck Wendig can only create garage!!!!
Excluding credits and previously-ons, we're pushing _one million dollars a minute._
This is money laundering. It _has_ to be.
Embezzlement is also an option.
Something like this. No way all of this trash is remotely that expensive.
I guess being gay is hella expensive 🤷🏾♂️
That is actually way worse than I imagined. Line delivery is atrocious.
What, you didn't like "Attack me, with all your strength"??
Do you not like playstation 2 cutscenes or something. 🤔
"nostalgia leads to the darkside"
And that right there is how they view the long time fans.
'The AcoBud Lyte'. I'm surprised Disney didn't hire Dylan Mulvaney to star in this doomed series.
Dylan is too pale for modern disney, and may still have dangly bits, so they'd rather go for an attention seeking woman, I mean non-binary individual of a darker complexion.
😂😂😂
You nailed it - he (she) would be perfect - girl power.... or something... 🤣
DONT GIVE THEM TIPS FFS
She would've been awesome 😏
Was that seriously an open flame in space just burning like a campfire? Like theres a breeze and oxygen in rhe vacuum of space? These stunningly brave diverse gay communist first females to ever be involved in star wars on any level whatsoever are SO smart.. its incredible.. stunning. So brave.
You are insufferable
If Disney will insist on girl-bosses, at least use actresses who have some sort of presence and sense of threat. They do exist! Instead they use tiny little actresses with nothing about them at all. Just bland tick box hires...pathetic and extremely funny to watch.
Women big and strong enough to play convincing action heroines also have enough androgens to resist coercion from a "Weinstein".
Imagine Harvey trying to SA Roxanne Perez.Hilarious,isn't it?
Not many people want to work for the personal assistant of Harvey Weinstein.
They did have one with Presence....and killed her off
Seriously, the woman who portrayed Laegertha in the Vikings series, or the woman who played T.J. in Stargate Universe or the woman who played Lt. Vanessa James in Stargate Universe. Those are some badass actresses!
@@naamadossantossilva4736 It's not SA when you agree to it in exchange for fame and money. It's called prostitution.
Logic failures in EP1.
1. Bad sister looks at Bar owner and back at Jedi. It is clear to everyone that the bad sister is going to attack the owner. Force push bad sister into wall preventing attack. Story over. Series ends.
2. Good sister spends the night on a ship in space and is accused of murdering a Jedi. Why didn't they check the ship logs confirming that another ship docked/left the ship good sister slept on? How can she be on a planet when the logs clearly prove that she was on the ship?
Answer: Because doing so would invalidate the storyline. Proving bad writing. Bad logic.
3. Good sister crashes while strapped in a chair. Wakes up on floor. Seat Belts are clearly torn apart. Good Sister should have bruises, probably cracked/broken ribs. Yet no injuries are shown. Logic doesn't track!
On point 2 I think they were trying to muddy the waters a bit with that line from a coworker asking why she stayed in instead of joining them on the overnight there and back again joyride to Nar Shaddaa that a bunch of the crew apparently went on. (Where was the ship though? Is it over Nar Shaddaa? They mentioned working for CorSec, didn't they? Corellia's security force? They shouldn't have been that close to Hutt Space, right?) There absolutely should be logs of some sort of all the comings and goings in and out of the ship, but in this show it feels like they only trust word of mouth and that they never refer to digital records? I mean, like with the cantina owner identifying "good sister" as the assassin... Perhaps a business owner's time would be better spent on giving the authorities copies of holotape surveillance of the incident so he can focus on documenting the damage for insurance (if that's a thing in Star Wars) and getting the repairs started? But no, apparently they had to drag him with them to approach the suspect. Shut down your business indefinitely, we're taking you with us on the manhunt.
@36:08 _"they just like banging USB-C ports together"_ 😆😆😆 * THAT * Sir, is a good one!! 🥃
"Is this where all the vowels go that were stolen off the Polish?"
I am dead looool
I don't know if I will ever recover from that line. rofl
They are not stolen. They are so precious that they are all heavily guarded by consonants on all sides.
“We can make it as bad as we want but if they don’t watch it we just blame them for being bigots…”
Don't forget "and tell them to go away because it's not for them".
how many times is this show gonna contradict itself, "may is dead i watched her die" "she's alive i believe you"
"a jedi can't be killed by steel or lasers" kills jedi with dagger in first scene
That bartender is definitely not getting father of the year. He stays with his young child near a violent fight. When everyone else left, why didn't he grab his child and run?
Yeah, it was already stupid when he was alone, but to stay with a child, smh.
This is a common thing in really bad writing, and I’m not defending it, but they did it to make the audience have sympathy for the evil twin because she doesn’t kill alien children, blurring the lines between good and evil (which is dumb). In order to show us the evil twin isn’t all that bad, that alien dad has to sit there like an idiot with his small alien child, in harms way, just so we can see the main character evil twin not kill them, which is supposed to make us the audience feel like “oh she’s not that bad.” This is a tactic used by bad writers, they lower ability/logic of other characters in order to prop up their weak main characters without having to actually think through how things would really go down if every character actually has a brain and critical thinking skills.
@@DefyThemAllyeah, it's so cliche and I hate it too. And people just eat it up so they have a reason to like an evil character. Because they did a good thing. Also, I love your pfp as you can tell by mine 😊
To toughen his kid up.
@gavinpowell4607 He could have pushed him out from behind the bar "Come back victorious, Son, or don't come back at all!"
You know what would be a great reason to use an all-droid crew on a prison transport AND guarantee no escape? If only the prison cells were pressurized. You want to try and breach your cell? Eat vacuum. And no air in the rest of the ship wouldn't bother droids in the slightest.
Or use the andor prison system with the electric floors
Or better yet a combo of both😂😂
See, the issue here is you are thinking like a man and using logic. Leslye Headland is some species of 'female' and therefore only thinks with "feewings", so logic being patriarchal and misogynist has NO place in her misandrist view of the world.
@@TheRandompaint that would need constant electricity. I prefer the first idea, of the environment itself creating the prison, like Alcatraz in space, only its lack of atmosphere. Consant electrical current would probably cause a fire, on a space ship, which is dumb.
@@lostree1981 well considering we just saw a fire OUTSIDE A DAMN SHIP IN SPACE who knows. Andor was the last good thing.😂
“ hey Jedi doesn’t pull out their light saber unless they’re prepared to kill” I remember anakin and obiwan using their light sabers as flash lights 💀
"As above sits the star, below lies the sea" is really damned close to "why does a ship float and a stone sink".
what is wrong with these people.
It's a really lame line, considering that stars are enormous balls of nuclear fusion and oceans are enormous bodies of heavy, somtimes violently tossing, water.
Like, these things don't just hang out doing nothing
they think they are smart and creative
lib arts, post modernist "arts"
it is trash 🗑
"The sea is always right." 😂
They don't even try to make adages that would make sense for people for whom space travel is older than sailing on ships is for us.
I didn't get that citation and never bothered hearing it again, but wow.
The Neimoidians don't even sound like Neimoidians, they just sound like your average everyday English speaking-person off the street in the Western world?!?!?!?! Was it because Pissney LudicrousFilm deemed the Neimoidian accent "racist"?!?!?!
Yeah, that wasn't the Viceroy at all.
Yeah they should have sounded Asian... But they sound like they're from Florida ... Sloppy continuity.....
KK transitioned it into Pukeusfilm
I'm surprised they brought back the Chinese aliens
@peterrealar2.067 Yeah, or Lott Dod, Rune Haako, Daulty Dofine, Hath Monchar, etc.!! It really throws your mind off!! Hahaha
No wonder Disney keeps hemorrhaging money. The first scene was so stupid 😂 Your being attacked and so are innocents around you, but you refuse to use your lightsaber. Obviously you should have just killed her quickly. It don't make no sense!
“Don’t cash crop my cornrows” originally known as DUTCH BRAIDS🤡🤡🤡
"Good always loses because they are stupid.
I can't believe you fell for that man. here. Take it
You fell for it again. "
Dark Helmut.
Just when I started thinking there was nothing else Disney could do to destroy Star Wars, The Crapolyte comes along. How much more can they lower themselves.
Welp there goes anything else… you asked the question, someone will rise to challenge, and make this look good in comparison.😂😂. I don’t know how but it will happen.
"This text on the screen cost about 230,000 dollars"
Even if you "adjust for snark" - that just magnifies how egregiously expensive the actual action scenes are...
At its height of corruption, *_not even Venezuela_* could have made up those kinds of numbers.
The people working at Disney are literally incapable of comprehending shame.
Or the concept of money.
Why does every mixed guy have that same hair cut in every medium? Half dread with shaved sides. Its everywhere, can they not figure out any other hair style?
I think Bob Marley was part white. Which is why it took a while to make dreadlocks happen.
It's all Black Panthers fault with Killmonger
@@skylx0812 my point is that they seem to think that this particular hair style is the only one mixed people wear. While there are numerous other styles that they could use.
Because kinky African hair styled in anything approaching a European manner is racist to these people.
Once you start noticing it's hell. I call this the killmonger or the prince of persia cut and it's ugly.
“ Attack me” I can’t even
The way she says it the second time just reeks of "that kid" in grade school.
I am so glad that tiny knives are now more deadly than lightsabers. Disney just couldn't resist destroying lightsabers even more, I guess lightsabers have dangily bits
they are a bit phallic
@@GH-ub7qz A lot.
@@GH-ub7qz Oh, we KNOW these people use phallic things. They might not be attached to men, but...
Oh yeah , wait til you see the lightsaber lasso/whip later this season 😅
@@dyo1001The Sith and their light saber fueled BDSM
Wait so the aliens speak perfect English but the Asian dude has an earthling asian accent
MAKES PERFECT SENSE TO ME, WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?!
lol
thats not how fire works in zero G, 30 seconds in and I hate it already.
The plot is basically -- "My evil twin did it"....straight out of Daytime TV. Is this the best Leslie Headlin can come up with?
I can't wait until we get one character with multiple personality disorder where one is a jedi and another is a sith
Well, she looks like prime audience for daytime TV, so I would not be surprised.
Lmaoo
As a half-Polish person, nobody stole our vowels - we're just too drunk to use them most of the time.
Hey! what are you doing in the comments? Go back and finish building my house!
@@Inastewpopotogo 🤣 no, I'm descended from the generation of Poles that were allowed to settle here after WW2.
It's the newer generations that build houses. Our lot took over from the Irish and built your roads and motorways 😏
@@andyt2979 Half of northwestern Europe is probably built by Poles now :D
I don't remember Jedi being like Vulcans.
Never thought I'd hear and Englishman say the sentence "i hate it because it reminds me of Dr. Who"
They killed Doctor Who with the same poison they killed SW with, so Disparu has no problem shitting on it.
Well, Doctor Who is special to them and it has been brutally murdered.
Currently, the show has the worst ratings of any Who ever and is dropping numbers like crazy.
Twins who never meet with the exact bad haircut?
That's not a haircut, that's a mop. Probably a fashion trend on the intergalactic insta or tik-tok. Speaking of... to kill a jedi without weapons could be the jedi challenge.
So Han doing the Kessel run was the slowest in history, as in the past they could have done it instantly.....
How can anyone watch this trash?
Perfect timing. Disparu, thank you for watching all the garbage so I don't have to. I pray you find peace of mind when all is said and done.
That green girl's head looks like the slipper socks used at a local trampoline park. The rubber sole pieces glued to the bottom to prevent slipping!
“You can’t go, you’re too important here”
“I implore you to reconsider”
“Ok”
I’ve been waiting for this review. No one dunks on garbage quite like disparu
Velma and Wheel of Time couldn't break him, let's try The Acolyte, that'll do the trick...
This series will have epic lines like the ones -"Why do you wanna be an immortal?" -"To live forever" 🤣🤣🤣
I have been super excited for this series
Specifically so I can watch Disparu taking the piss out of it.
"I remember when my eyes were that far apart" haha
The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. - Orwell 1984 and absolutely not a coincidence that that Jedi master said that do not trust your eyes they can fool you. Remember who is making this show and the agenda and loyalty that they have to the party
2 + 2 will equal 5.
@@theramblinmahoney2316 sadly true :(
This is literally part of Jedi training when they use the force to sense things instead of their eyes
A decent amount of the show so far looks like it was filmed in Galaxy’s Edge at Disneyland..
Imagine how bad the original line was if the best you can think of is " i betrayed her"❤
The Assassin expects the Jedi lady to behave like a Skyrim NPC, “I just tried to attack you a few minutes ago, but if I stand and wait for a bit, you’ll forget about me and disengage”
unless you steal an apple....
@@GH-ub7qz Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll.
"Beyond the republics reach, yet oppressed by its influence" is a wild sentence
Last year the writers guild and SAG held us hostage for 6 months.... For this crap? What's up with everyone whispering? Urgh, thank you for watching this so I don't have too
Carrie-Anne Moss: ‘What are you doing here?’
The Acolyte: ‘Giving you a candy-gram!’
Candy-gram has been proven to be a successful strategy against stronger opponents.
The Acolyte : “Trying to get you to scissor me!”
Can we take a moment to appreciate that we live in an age of *unparalleled* production value...with writing that makes a five year old's creative writing projects look like Shakespeare.