Non Duality: Why Surrender Feels Impossible With Trauma [Podcast]
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- Опубликовано: 5 янв 2025
- When trying to surrender to life, why do we struggle and feel like we're 'sucked back' into duality? This episode explores how this may happen.
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I help non-dual seekers in emotional distress awaken & heal their hearts to become their most authentic, empowered, and regulated selves.
I address topics like:
✔️ Non-dual doubts/seeking
✔️ Social, generalized & morning anxiety
✔️ Avoidance/Withdrawal
✔️ Relationship Authenticity
✔️ Equanimity
✔️ Integrating awakening into life
✔️ Childhood trauma
✔️ Wellbeing cultivation
So that you can:
✅ Feel comfortable in your own skin
✅ Cultivate healthier, secure, authentic relationships
✅ Overcome non-dual doubts
✅ Integrate and balance awakening into regular life.
✅ Unravel deeply subconscious childhood trauma
✅ Deepen in presence/connection/peace in life
With my facilitation background in somatic-based self-inquiry & serious psycho-spiritual practice, I can take you to places where spiritual teachers, gurus, and even therapy cannot take you.
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After 5 years of being on this path, I finally attended a Vipassana retreat, and promptly realized that the IFS I was already doing was a more strategic, direct, and compassionate framework to deal with my trauma than simply sitting in meditation and waiting for the traumas or "samskaras" to bubble up and unfold on their own. This stuff is just way too deep and I've been dissociating it away for almost all of my life.
The experience made me realize I had given my power away to the perceived authority of this Vipassana teaching -- surely if I just brute force meditation long enough, I too will become a smiling happy Buddha. Nope. There are many ways to experience and practice spirituality, and in the end it's all spiritual, even if it doesn't conform to one of the patterns of behavior of the wisdom traditions this planet developed in the past. We are truly in a new age, with new possibilities for humanity.
I appreciate your clear eyed and empathetic approach.
You're on a great path man. The fact that you're trusting yourself in that way is quite profound.
Wow. I've watched a lot of related videos and never heard anyone describe the 'loop' you're talking about. Absolutely spot on thank you so much
You're welcome Jay!
So good. Discovered non-dual 6 months ago and intellectually "got it" but it brought no experiential relief (at least not yet!) - if anything I felt more numb/apathetic. Whereas somatic work and emotional processing are bringing more relief and a sense of the body "opening" bit by bit. It's not easy work but useful to explore known areas of tension and also uncover areas of tension I was not conscious of before. The nervous system does not understand "non-dual" imo... it has limits and core hurts from the past, its own defence mechanisms that are different for each body. As time goes on, I'm becoming less interested in non-dual and more interested in regulating the nervous system as the top priority. I think most people simply want relief from pain and suffering to improve their quality of life more than "oneness." Seems like the nervous system work is more direct in getting closer to that?
@@solskjaer2008 I appreciate both sides :) but I agree largely. The pursuit of regulation and deeper authenticity is an incredibly rich spiritual path anyway in my eyes
That was awesome!! Thanks Mate
My pleasure.
sam roff, your channel is really spot on with my situation. Your interview with Christina Guimond was eye-opening to me, and now this. i hope i can meet you one day, maybe if you come to indonesia.
@@sanres I’d love that :) thanks for your kind words.
These teachers you mention if they are Truly Awakened they are the Rare Exceptions not the Rule.
I’ve been watching a few of your videos and I wondered if you have looked into neurodivergence at all? A lot of what you talk about as being a problem like shutdown, social anxiety etc is very common with neurodivergence. Equally with trauma, but sometimes it is both. I have both!
I wonder if you are trying to fix something that isn’t fully fixable? And it might be more about support for yourself and equanimity within yourself? It’s absolutely not a barrier with non duality, but we do operate on a slightly different nervous system.
I have ADHD (diagnosed) and Autism (not diagnosed). I was late diagnosed and had spent my life trying to be neurotypical which added trauma. I’ve been so much kinder to myself since diagnosis - things like socialising one - one rather than in massive groups, having more down time, memory aids.
There are lots of neurodivergent folk about - Sarah Taylor - Light of your Being, Violet Synergy, Pernille Damour, Lisa Cairns, Loch Kelly.
IFS, TRE and Somatic work, understanding Polyvagal Theory have all been great for me, but equally taking care of my sensory needs, supporting my executive dysfunction and understanding myself from a different perspective.
@@clairedot657 Appreciate the perspective. I think any sort of practice that involves coming back to the core authentic self and honouring needs, no matter how neurotypical they might appear, has been a very important shift for me personally :)
Me too. Meeting myself where I am at, not where I think I should be.
Finding out I had ADHD last year was amazing for me, but I had no clue I had it. It helped me see that I have different needs that weren’t even on my radar (sensory stuff for example). I found non duality about 9 months on and very quickly had an awakening, which I don’t think I would have happened so quickly if I hadn’t had ADHD identified and undone some of the crap from not knowing I had it for 45 years.
P.S. did you mean neurodiverse?
I also think the spiritual world has A LOT to learn from the trauma world.
I know I could have never touched into surrender without Peter Levines ideas of titration and pendulation.
@@clairedot657 yes I mean neurodiverse, typo. Ahhh so happy for you. Beautiful to see the convergence. I went the other way. Blasting insight practices with a fragmented sense of self.
@@clairedot657 10000%. This has been my experience too.
Hi mate, after watching Angelos new videos about 'young teachers' etc, I feel compelled to ask what qualifications you have, why charge so much, and what makes you feel qualified to talk, teach and treat?
Said with love. Too much confusion and damage being done in the community at the moment. 🙏
@@not-one-not-two Hey man, fair question. It’s all from lived experience and walking the path earnestly - coaching. Listen at your own discretion. Just a regular dude sharing from experience.
To be fair, in his video addressing a "controversy", Angelo was speaking in general terms about young teachers so he wouldn't have to name names, but he was really talking about David McDonald in particular.
In a video that David has since removed from public view, David mentioned how he fell deep into depersonalization & derealization, then pulled himself out of it with the help (not sure if it was direct or just from reading her stuff) of Dr. Willoughby Britton, who has researched & written about the adverse effects of meditation.
Due to his experience, David seems very skeptical of non-dual teachers now & seems to be on a bit of a mission to "out" them for not doing enough to warn others about these possible pitfalls or, at worst, for selling depersonalization & derealization as realization itself.
He said that he has heard many stories similar to what he went through. His teaching now seems to be about not dissolving the self but personally embodying realization while avoiding the pitfalls.
Anyway, that's just my understanding of what he said in his removed video & I will admit that I, myself, haven't had a first awakening, so FWIW. I've gone on for way too long talking about him 😁, but just wanted to emphasize that this really wasn't about Sam.
@@JohnnyLovesPuppies Thanks for that info! Yes there is truth in that, but he was calling out the wrong people and coming from a questionable place.
My personal opinion on the matter is that if one is going to talk about non duality and the awakening journey, they should have their Kensho (Awakening) confirmed by a realised teacher. Go join a non dual school, it's amazing! In Zen they test the student with Koans and only after 435 koans which takes 15 years and numerous hard Kenshos, are they then authorised to teach or talk about the subject. Life experience is great as well but that comes with age.
When it comes to talking/ holding space in a 1-1 setting I learnt the paramount importance of one attaining a degree on the therapeutic modality being offered. While doing my Masters in Counselling, the case studies of people being more traumatised by life coaches etc is alarming. Again, life experience is great, but over 40 is when the fruit really ripens. My personal opinion.
Things have gone too far, and too many people have become traumatised or led down the wrong path due to unqualified teachers etc avoiding a 9-5 job to make good money in the new age spiritual community on RUclips.
I know I'd rather get treated by a physio with a degree, than someone who has a few years of life experience treating their own body.
I apologise for coming off forward, but I have had too many close friends and family become seriously traumatised due to the topic prevalent in the non dual community at the moment and 'the darkest places in hell are reserved for those that maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis'. Dante
Much love
Are you putting these out to podcast apps?
@@kas8131 Not yet! I probably should though :)
excellent video, so helpful. This was my experience and I would say that the prospect of 'surrender' felt like I was betraying myself. I think you capture that sense in your explanation so well. The distancing or blockage or trying to keep oneself safe, that movement IS what one does to protect oneself. So to then abandon that project, that distancing, that blockage, that trying to keep oneself safe - that abandoning is the thing you promised yourself you would never do. It is the betrayal.
If you can get beyond that and surrender anyway, then things start to get a lot better.......But it is hard because the surrender movement feels like the opposite of how you've kept yourself safe. But you have to do it anyway. You have to find the trust somehow. The willful abandonment.....
apologies if this is spam but this my song, called 'surrender' ruclips.net/video/yYAULun8l2U/видео.htmlsi=kc9D40gfpvU51gvc
You've got a great voice man. I don't mind you posting it here ❤🔥
@@SamRoff thank you Sam. ❤️