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@@HealthyGamerGG i do not enjoy the clickbait thumbnails on your videos and episodes. You want attention from people who are not subscribers, but the people that pay your patreon and youtube memberships hate the clickbait titles
paradoxical, but that might actually be the problem. Raising the standard might help you find a soulmate (and help them find you). How do you know what you're looking for if you'll accept anything?
I’ve realized soulmates are not a predestined person out there meant to be with you. A soulmate is someone who jives well with you that you meet at the right place and time. That means you can have more than one soulmate, as well as more than one type of soulmate. That means you can have platonic soulmates. Sometimes your soul mate is your really cool cat that you just get, that just understands you across the limits of form and language. It can be a friend you make at a convention. It can be your significant other, that is your team mate for life, and yall are there for each other through thick and thin.
@Yourgardengems the term soulmate, is just a concept we made up and attach to singularity. At its base definition it technically just means someone who completely understands you and is suited to be in a long term relationship with you. It's just super high compatibility, which makes 'soulmates' rare but not magical like """"star crossed lovers""""
My partner is not essentially my soulmate, but one of my best friends is he will blurt out things I'm thinking even before I say them, my partner doesn't do it as much, but she comes in pretty damn close😅
i struggle so much with limerance. growing up i daydreamed a lot and read a lot of fanfiction. i find a lot of similarities between the ways i see my crushes or partners vs how i used to see my fandom of obsession or my OTP (the pairing that i would read fanfiction about). for both there is an intense fantasy element where i daydream constantly about them, ANYTHING i see in the world reminds me of them, everything is about them, and thats where my mind goes where im hurting or scared, its like my comfort object in my mind. i also noticed that for each, 1-7 years is the amount of time i would be obsessed with it before having to move on forcfully (like a break up) or just naturally losing interest (like my fandoms). something else he mentioned that i thought was really poignant was the expectations. i did have expectations of my partners that they didnt meet that were unfair of me. but my most recent partner did this to me i think. if i wasnt 100% perfect he would fall out of love with me. i think he saw me as a fantasy when we first got together, i remember him telling me "you make me happier than ive ever been" within a couple of months of dating. i saw a clip by jordan peterson recently where he mentioned something similar. he saw me a princess. perfect. his fantasy. everything he wanted. but then when i was an actual person, with flaws and baggage, and issues that i needed to work on. the princess was destroyed. it was like i killed his princess. and he wasnt able to see me as another human. i miss him, and im sad about him. and i wish i knew all of this a year ago. sending love to everyone here
The poster just sounds very young, young people are prone to extremes. As in, half a year single and it's 'will I be alone forever? Am I a femcel now?' etc, and by the time you're older it just becomes 'ehhh, I'm currently single, won't be forever, and there's upsides to being single'. I think a classic 'this too shall pass, try to live in the moment' is warranted for her. Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon.
When is 'older' in your opinion? I'm about to be 37 and the 'will I be alone forever?' question hasn't diminished at all. I think it's a bit of a non-scientific assumption that you grow older and stop giving a shit. Or maybe I need to get older and older and at 50 or 60 I will stop giving a shit because my body will be failing me and move this question to the bottom of the priority list. At what point do we stop using age as a catch-all smokescreen for addressing your own mental state? Even if the intention is good, it invalidates their lived experience by slapping this 'you're too young, you'll figure it out' reason on it.
Solid advice: Stop looking. Really, just stop. Nothing is more unattractive and nothing feels worse than desperation and obsession so just don't be that. Focus on being a good friend, neighbor, family member, citizen, whatever. Be social, be kind, be slow to anger and quick to empathy. Unplug and go be human with humans. Be YOU. Do this and it will come. _And even if it doesn't,_ your life will be rewarding and meaningful. Stop grasping for Hollywood, fantasy romance and "norms". Be a good human and _let it happen._
I get what you're trying to say but it just feels like I'll just have to go through life with this relationship sized hole and just have to be happy that it exists. It sucks. Like you're being denied through all your efforts and in the end it doesn't matter. From my experience it doesn't come others may have luck with this
You are right. By the end of the day it is all about detachment. And all these “stop chasing start attracting” bloggers are right to say that. But it is so hard to understand and to apply it to your own journey. A change of lens is needed.
@@Fiox789 yeah it's one of those bitter pills to swallow that you could somehow with RNG just not end up in a good relationship, but I think it's one that needs to be taken with the belief that regardless if you're in a relationship or not, you will be happy and better as a person yourself. as corny as it sounds there's a lot to discover and see internally, that is at least the most you could control
I think a Dr. K video exploring Limerence more deeply would be great! It's something not very well known (outside the internet) and that a lot of people experience thinking it's true love.
I can't find it but in one video Dr. K said something like "The majority of women can't get a relationship with the men they would like, and the majority of men can't get any relationship."
But it's men who need to adjust their expectations, and get over their entitlement complex. And it's men who need to put themselves in women's shoes. Every time Dr K starts to make a necessary point about modern dating dynamics, he always cancels it out by parroting the same old neoliberal mcfeminist talking points. Why does he justify misandry? Call out misogyny, but misandry is much more pervasive today and needs to be called out as well
I found out about limerence just yesterday and finally have a word for what I've been experiencing for 15+ years. To make matters worse, I have a strong tendency to develop feelings for attractive women in settings like therapy, rehab or even coachings, basically places where I try to fix other issues that make my life miserable. I've never managed to talk about it with these individuals, causing a chain of misery and despair and unfulfilled needs until I eventually get over it by indulging in addictive behaviours again, like weed, video games, porn. It feels like a never ending cycle. I am aware of my projections on these people, I am aware of setting myself up for pain and disappointment and yet I can't help but keep dreaming because it feels better than facing the reality of a failed life of 30 years and what feels like to me a more dire and hopeless prospect for the future looking at the all the events happening on a global scale. I just hope that I can address these issues soon and get out of this constant cycle that I put myself into and actually start living life instead of spending 95% of my time in my mind.
respect for being honest about it. Heidi Priebe (psychology youtuber) has some videos on limerence and her own experience with it, it seems to be heavily linked to poor self esteem and anxiety.
"looking at the all the events happening on a global scale" stop ruining your day over stuff you have no control over. You're overthinking yourself into a depression. Literally just go outside and frolic amongst some flowers and you'll feel better.
I got so lucky meeting her in high school, my first love. But we work on it every single day. It's been 10 years now and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Definitely helps to get into the relationship while you’re Both still young. By the time you’re in your mid 30s, it’s difficult for either gender to find anyone that they like.
No cause it discredits the actual info that Dr k has. Like I tell people about Dr k, but they’re put off by the titles. But yes, if it gets people to click on the info and learn something for the betterment of their life, awesome. Yet, it’s still tarnishs the great info.
@@weezypeezy1725 do you feel like it’s a catch22? Like It’s hard to recommend cuz of clickbaityness but it might draw in new people? What kind of title do you think you’d be comfortable suggesting to peeps?
@weezypeezy1725 if you gather the contents of a video from a thumbnail that's more indicative of you, in a landscape of clickbait nonsense where the video is substanceless garbage I'm okay with Dr. Ks message being spread around even if it's at the cost of 100% transparent messaging.
I honestly don't think she needs relationship or dating advice, she needs advice on anxiety and obsessive thinking. Fixating on 'I'm so lonely' just makes you feel lonely. She needs a meditation or mindfulness practice, anything to get her out of her head and into her body. Also, practicing gratefulness can help a lot to get through single or lonely periods, and I know that sounds silly at first, but you can fake it til you make it. Meditating on 'I'm grateful to have legs that can run' or 'I'm grateful for my friends' can help center you. Even if you don't feel gratefulness at first, deep breathing and just saying that has helped me, and over time and practice, I have felt a genuine increase in real gratitude.
I think what you are saying is almost the same as doc here is saying, going about it in a different way. Especially the what you put in your mind, creates a certain result. If you focus on gratefulness and being mindful, you are shifting what you put in your mind. So your mind will change...Anxiety and loneliness could also start to change with how you talk to your mind or what thoughts, information etc you feed it. Like you suggest it could help to change her mind by feeding it gratefulness and meditation.
Believing in a soulmate sounds alot like putting the onus for your fulfillment onto another person. Marrying you is the most difficult thing your spouse will ever agree to in their own life, dont burden them further with the responsibility of completing yours.
in a happy relationship myself, but stopped by to hear what you had to say and enjoyed myself greatly. thanks for the insights as always and my hopes go out to OP that things get better for them :)
Genuinely man, this is one of the most intense clarity inducing videos on HG. I've watched almost all your guys' vids n guides for years now, I'm not sure if it was the specific wording and pacing from Dr. K, but it's like you've hit a T20 on Darts with this vid ❤ but this one hit different bro, especially the practical aspect of the inputs to the mind & body
Soulmates are an invention from cheesy books and movies to make a plot in order to have a meaning. Fiction needs a meaning, reality doesn't. In real life, you might want someone "good enough", since we're all replaceable.
I think you should find someone good 'Good enough' is just settling and is bound to lead to unhappy long term relationships with constantly building resentment
I didn't write this letter but I *could* have. The projected manic pixie dream girl trope is real and the bane of my existence as a female who also fits in "better" in male dominated spaces (general geekery, gaming and fandoms) and industries (I was a touring stage tech and lighting engineer when I was younger). I appreciate this content.
Can't avoid arching an eyebrow when I'm reading "All the Internet is full of misogyny" and "Where are the good men". Good men are always there but, seem invisible because they're not the "bad boy" most ladies seek.
Women are not seeking narcissists but unfortunately some get manipulated by slick con artists. As well, good men can and do fall for narcissistic women!! I think making your own life great for starters helps avoiding losers!!
@@cindy-x9x women do seek narcissists because they seem confident. And the good guys they don't like because they either say they're boring or are so insecure they can't be with one that actually treats them well.
@@cindy-x9x Yes. This is the "personality exam" problem (when they use personality exams to hire people at jobs). You are trying to filter down, but unwillingly communicating what is expected. Like a badly-designed multiple-choice exam. If I go through a twitter thread about things women say are "red flags" - so I get a sense of what they are trying to avoid - it's things like, Can't get emotional too soon Can't be too intense Can't have an obsessive interest in a thing Can't talk about personal stuff (trauma) Can't be too geeky, too this, too that... And, THAT - that funnels the list down to the men who hide those things. The narcissists are often the best, at that. It's actually a problem that is easy to solve, in isolation, by letting people just be themselves, without judgment. But we have generations of training each other into these patterns of behaviour, so even IF you give people that chance, doesn't mean they'll open up.
Haven't finished this video yet but I hope you touch upon the phenomenon of an intense feeling of connection when looking someone in the eyes that feels like touching someone's soul. Had it only happen once and I'm having a hard time letting it go.
“Happiness isn’t something you wait around for. It’s something you create yourself… Happiness comes only through effort… No, just be happy. You’ll try won’t you?” Late Spring, 1949 (Yasujiro Ozu)
It's one thing to move forward if your'e not being loved and another thing to believe you will never be loved. I don't know you, but to me, this sounds like a black and white thinking. What makes you so sure you will never be loved by anyone?
I get that it's rough but if you think about it, you really aren't different enough from everyone else that you are significantly unlovable. I think people just sort of let their own clouded perspective and self pity become fact
I relate a lot to both what the poster said, and what was said about the experiences outside of that. No one's perfect. Besides, if you have a perfect partner and you're not (since no one is) there would eventually be resentment and boredom because growing and learning is meant to be done together. I also like the soulmate thing. I met mine, unfortunately life meant circumstances led to a short relationship due to a degenerative disorder. They're still alive and we are friends, but I am unable to care for them 24/7 like they want.
sometimes the title is enough to make me react, this time I cried, props to whoever writes it. Even without wtchin it I've realized there's nothing you can do for someone to love you, that's soulcrushing and liberating at the same time
Yep, my expectations are in fact impossible to meet and I'm fine with that, being alone is great too. I don't understand why people focus on wanting to find someone so much tbh :V
Great video! Just wanted to nitpick a very small detail in OP's post that stuck out for some reason: the plot of 500 days of summer isn't that the woman "fixes" the man and the man leaves her. In fact Summer leaves Tom in the movie and the rest of the movie is left for Tom to develop himself over the heartbreak. Summer eventually gets married (hopefully happily) to someone else. I don't know anything about Jungian analysis but it at least seems to match what I googled about the anima (in the sense that Tom does project her MPDG idealism on Summer, and is consequently heartbroken because of it)
this content is gold. from my personal experience, i have to fully agree to what he is trying to tell us. i myself and my past girlfriends all have projected and forgot to translate. my personal truth is: love is everywhere, but we fail to see it, because we have expectations of what we consider it to look and feel like.
This is difficult. 3 years ago a dude broke up with me because, according to him we "had no chemistry". I had a very hard time trying to get over this and honestly I lost completely hope in finding someone. Until then I believed in soulmates and all I ever wanted was a true love but all I got was this "we don't have chemistry" s**t. Since then I feel very lazy to deal with people and had to remake all my beliefs. I don't think that it's difficult to deal with men, I think that it's difficult to deal with human beings. In a world where no one is 100% trustable, how can we freely give love to people in a world like this we live in? Then what worked for me was just the acceptance that people are broken, including myself and save my energies to deal with my own issues until the last day of my life.
The algorithms are terrible. It's so difficult to fight the algorithm. I delete my social media every couple years and start over because it feeds me a lot stuff I don't want.
For the "dumped because of depression", from my own experience, someone depressed can become extremely hostile, and impossible to communicate with The issue is not the depression, it's the behavior linked to it and the refusal to change said behavior
Here are my standards when it comes to women: 1. Talk to me like I'm a normal human being and not some loser you were forced to and 2. Be funny. Unfortunately (at least in Canada) in order to even be allowed a chance to date someone, I need to be tall & physically attractive & popular with other people & have a good paying job, etc. Pretty much everything out of my control. But I'm the entitled one🤷
19:08 there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with breaking up with someone that's depressed all the time. They often project their pain onto their partners. It's draining and unbearable to be constantly blamed for someone else's issues. It has nothing to do with misogyny. Women will break up with men for the same reason.
Things got a little bit better when I binge watched Stoicism. And reduce my consumption of red pill. I’ve been making an effort to expose myself more to philosophy, and I find it it aided in emotional equanimity
I found mine. And spent absolutely best years of my life with her, hands down. And then I lost her because of me being an absolutely useless piece of crap. Because yeah, I was useless with my then-undiagnosed ADHD (I got the diagnosis over a year after I got kicked out). 3.5 years have passed since she showed me the door and even today, if she messaged me "hey, I think I might have made a mistake, how about trying again?" the dust raised by me starting would be still in the air several days after. But she won't. As for my "internet diet" - there's nothing relationship-related, actually. It's mostly true crime podcasts with some bass-related contend and F1 news mixed in. And a bit of Dr K sprinkled on top.
Hi Dr K. I hope one day you’ll do a video on betrayal trauma and what porn and sex addiction does to the partner or spouse of the addicted and how to navigate the hurt
I didn't find my person. I ran into them when I wasn't looking for anything. There's a concept in Daoism called Wuwei, which literally means "no action" but it more accurately means not forcing any action. If you try to force something, it's not going to happen. Let things play out, take their course, and things will happen. I've got a wonderful partner, a few circles of incredible friends, and on a career path which I love. But none of this was forced. I focused on my own actions and what I can control rather than exerting control externally. It is imperative to recognize that you will never be in total control of everything, and that is perfectly okay.
Never believed in such things as soulmates. You teally believe with 8billion people you can find the one destined to be with you? No, I believe I can find one that is convenient for me in most points and we arrange ourselves to be most comfortable with. More than anything I’d believe someone out there is most suited for me, but even the chance of ever meeting them is 1x10-10😅
It's not 1 in billion there many soul mates. All it mean is someone that has similar soul. I think soul means personality and values in this case. If you look at it from mystical new age view. Soul mates are just someone that come in to your life to teach you something and then they go one their way to the next person. Soulmate in this context play big part in charter of you life but not in future chapters.
I agree to the extent because misogyny has been watered down by the feminist movement and women that can't take accountability. Not dissimilar to incel, bigotry, racist and homophobe.
I don't 100% agree, but I got lost when she started talking about movie tropes and genres... I'm sure it's a deeper emotional thing happening but there's over a hundred years of movies with different types of characters. Go exploring if you're dissatisfied with generic tropes. In fact, a vast vast majority of major female movie characters do not die in childbirth.
Dudes don't like being a problem before we even do anything - if she talks about misogyny, she will try to emasculate any of my expressions that she'll find too stereotypical for classic male style of development, or at worst maybe even will genuinelly harm me when I'll be in vulnerable state, so I'll never try to make such woman my girl, I developed too much self preservation. Just a week ago I had conversation with my friend on the topic that she don't get that I would like to cultivate more masculine self image and have some enjoyment in that, which looks like distress to her because I care about something extra and I'd like to put slight bit of effort in that and that supposedly makes me enslaved in this gender discourse. I pointed to her that it's more about her understanding of the topic and I wouldn't try to poke at her trying to cultivate her femininity, I'd try to be encouraging. Referencing Zootopia and how Judy cut Nick to being merelly a predator as his main characteristic from her pov before anything they formed as fresh colegues made her realize how I feel about being talked to like that and it evolved into nicer convo over time, it was nice meeting.
I want to feel for women who can’t find the perfect man they want to be in a relationship with, I really do. But when I compare that to myself and so many other men who get zero attention from any women at all, zero, it’s hard to for me to care about them. I don’t like being this way, I try not to, but I am.
The way you can think about it is that if you really want something and do t get it, at least you have a sense of hope that one day you’ll get it and be happy. But when you get the thing you thought you wanted and it turns out to be fake and hollow, it almost leaves you in a worst place because then there’s really nowhere to turn to.
Yes exactly so far the women I've run into are looking for someone perfect, amazing, funny and rich. Super unrealistic i understand why they're single and will probably stay single
Empathy is a two-way street. I'm naturally an empathetic person, but people don't care about my issues or even blame me for them. And they demand that I care about their issues
18:42 even more false information in this: "woman do not abandon their man when he gets sick" My best friend got dumped by his girlfriend when he had an accident and broke his spine. She thought he would not be able to walk anymore. But he recovered, working as a fireman and is happy that he did not marry her.
That's not getting sick though. Broken spine mean no job. Woman leaves. If you was independently wealthy she'd have stuck by him. This isn't being down on women, just look at it women and income gap. What about kids. A man that can't provide is social construct too that is taught to women as someone to avoid.
I found "the one". I loved everything about her. The way she talks. Her voice. Even the small imperfections. We had the same hobbies, the same kind of humour, the same goals in life. We used to be friends for 5 years...and when I opened up to her she rejected me because I was not good enough for her...
@@SijanModz No. It doesn't. But if you want to know, that belongs to one of my hobbies. However, if you think my choice in my yt pfp tells you all you need to know about me, that is telling me more than I'd like to know about you. Have a nice day.
She may be the one in a different timeline but she can't be your one in this one (for the time being). I'm sorry it didn't work out between you but I promise that it ended because it was not supposed to be in that time. Think about how you had 5 years together and yet she still rejected you. You or her or both of you clearly have some stuff to work through, and maybe she'll get there and maybe she won't, but all you can do is make you the most fulfilled you can be in your own life - with your own job/lifestyle, hobbies and connections
As I’m watching this I’m realizing that not only do I not have the same problem personally, but the opposite. I’d call it a stretch to say my mother was devouring, as some people say, but definitely a bit overbearing, which I think would perfectly explain why my interest in relationships of almost any kind is so low, even if it isn’t non existent. It puts me in a very weird position where I feel mostly ok, but I wish that I wanted relationships more. Either that or I’m possibly in denial about nervousness or fear of failure/rejection (though as I’m writing this I feel very dubious as to wether you can realize you’re in denial without emotional distress, which I’m not feeling atm). What should I do? 🤔🤨
Basing your romantic views on rom-coms and disney movies is such a terrible idea. There's so many better movies that have more realistic depictions of love and relationships...
I had to try twice, just to get through the opening, because, man, that is a LOT of preconceptions (and misconceptions) they need to shed, and there's clear low self-esteem and stuff indicative of Borderline Personality Disorder (which, if you're reading this, check with your psych, if you don't already have a diagnosis). There's a high risk of trauma, too, which will always need some work. The one piece of advice I can give: give yourself space and time. Give potential partners space and time. Giving people the space and peace to be themselves goes a long way, and that applies to you, too.
:03 Kind, Honest, Smart, Religious, 18-23, Willing to try my hobbies. Wants kids. Virgin but ill accept a body count thats 3 or less cause mine is 3. I don't think thats to much to ask is it or is that limerance. I know im not perfect but im trying to be better. I went to therapy for depression and anxiety which i eventually got over the depression but still got anxiety but its some what healthy because its "Oh am i gonna be able to aford house" anxiety.
@@MusiicRoolz Yes I know its hypocritical/shallow and I will happily except if no virgin wants to be with me because I'm not one myself that's her choice and she's keeping the faith. I also said I'm open minded to women that got the same body count as me or lower. My secondary reason is a lower chance of divorce and I know "that's not loving and accepting" but to my own defense I'm bastard I didn't grow up in a solid home with parents loving each other to be an example to me to what love is.
That's a solid bit of expectations, what will she get for providing You such set of characteristics? And important, notice that You didn't mention a singular thing around looks and I'm not 100% sure that You would go with any girl You find not at least somewhat appealing to prefferences You have.
Did it not occur to anyone that everyone who uses dating apps are somewhat weird ass people because they can't do anything outside of their phone? Can't connect with anyone?
I'm single, lean and fit (6 pack), 6ft tall, in the 95th percentile for net worth at my age, and probably a 7/10 looks when put together, but it's still extremely hard to find a girl these days, unless they are 200+ pounds (they really think im at their level somehow???). It's a clown world out there. A dating crisis is an understatement, more like apocalypse.
I mean you did just rate yourself entirely on looks, maybe think about what kinda signals you're putting out in the world? The dating world is rough in the modern day no doubt about it, but tbh even unconventionally people can find plenty of romance - just depends how you look (as in what kind of vibes you're putting out), what you attract and what you accept
I get that. First thing you have ditch is the level bit. Any woman that comes up to isn't insulting you by taking interest. Maybe you just the guy for them, they may want to work out with you and lose the weight. I've seen that happen. 200+ pound can be caused by so much. I was like that in my early 20s. I had more issues, great attracting women not so good socially with women and I couldn't tell if they were interest, don't notice flirting.
@@chrismaxwell1624 you are right about the level thing and im not necessarily offended by it, more so frustrated, but i do think there is a problem of many young women overestimating themselves due to our culture (e.g. "body positivity") and the attention they receive on dating apps/social media.
Hey guys, hope you enjoy today's episode! Are you currently on the train or in the car? Are you in bed? Are you perhaps taking a moment to yourself in the bathroom? Let us know when and where you're watching this video!
Watching it in my room rn. Not sure why tho, I know damn well I’ll spend my entire life alone with or without this video
@@HealthyGamerGG i do not enjoy the clickbait thumbnails on your videos and episodes. You want attention from people who are not subscribers, but the people that pay your patreon and youtube memberships hate the clickbait titles
At work playing Dr.K's voice in one ear for mood support XD
Working from home
Midnight, in the living room, preparing my sewing for tomorrow. I like simple questions i can answer ^^
bro my standard for soulmate is me liking someone and them liking me back and that's an impossible standard still
Exactly
fr like pulse [optional]
paradoxical, but that might actually be the problem. Raising the standard might help you find a soulmate (and help them find you). How do you know what you're looking for if you'll accept anything?
@@VoidCael true. Also people aren't gonna like you romantically if you accapt anything
@@VoidCael well i meet a lot of people and have a lot of connections but none of them are single
I’ve realized soulmates are not a predestined person out there meant to be with you.
A soulmate is someone who jives well with you that you meet at the right place and time.
That means you can have more than one soulmate, as well as more than one type of soulmate. That means you can have platonic soulmates.
Sometimes your soul mate is your really cool cat that you just get, that just understands you across the limits of form and language.
It can be a friend you make at a convention.
It can be your significant other, that is your team mate for life, and yall are there for each other through thick and thin.
But doesn’t that entail that soulmate does not exist? Multiple soul mates means plural and not just one person that we are destined to meet
@Yourgardengems the term soulmate, is just a concept we made up and attach to singularity. At its base definition it technically just means someone who completely understands you and is suited to be in a long term relationship with you. It's just super high compatibility, which makes 'soulmates' rare but not magical like """"star crossed lovers""""
@@Yourgardengems I think it depends on what we believe in the end, soulmate is just a belief we all created, just like many other things
My partner is not essentially my soulmate, but one of my best friends is he will blurt out things I'm thinking even before I say them, my partner doesn't do it as much, but she comes in pretty damn close😅
@@eerielconstantine5051 wtf are you on about your football team mate "friends" are not your soulmates 💀☠️ just put the fries in the bag lil bro
When your card declines at therapy
i struggle so much with limerance. growing up i daydreamed a lot and read a lot of fanfiction. i find a lot of similarities between the ways i see my crushes or partners vs how i used to see my fandom of obsession or my OTP (the pairing that i would read fanfiction about). for both there is an intense fantasy element where i daydream constantly about them, ANYTHING i see in the world reminds me of them, everything is about them, and thats where my mind goes where im hurting or scared, its like my comfort object in my mind. i also noticed that for each, 1-7 years is the amount of time i would be obsessed with it before having to move on forcfully (like a break up) or just naturally losing interest (like my fandoms). something else he mentioned that i thought was really poignant was the expectations. i did have expectations of my partners that they didnt meet that were unfair of me. but my most recent partner did this to me i think. if i wasnt 100% perfect he would fall out of love with me. i think he saw me as a fantasy when we first got together, i remember him telling me "you make me happier than ive ever been" within a couple of months of dating. i saw a clip by jordan peterson recently where he mentioned something similar. he saw me a princess. perfect. his fantasy. everything he wanted. but then when i was an actual person, with flaws and baggage, and issues that i needed to work on. the princess was destroyed. it was like i killed his princess. and he wasnt able to see me as another human. i miss him, and im sad about him. and i wish i knew all of this a year ago. sending love to everyone here
The poster just sounds very young, young people are prone to extremes. As in, half a year single and it's 'will I be alone forever? Am I a femcel now?' etc, and by the time you're older it just becomes 'ehhh, I'm currently single, won't be forever, and there's upsides to being single'. I think a classic 'this too shall pass, try to live in the moment' is warranted for her. Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon.
When is 'older' in your opinion? I'm about to be 37 and the 'will I be alone forever?' question hasn't diminished at all. I think it's a bit of a non-scientific assumption that you grow older and stop giving a shit.
Or maybe I need to get older and older and at 50 or 60 I will stop giving a shit because my body will be failing me and move this question to the bottom of the priority list.
At what point do we stop using age as a catch-all smokescreen for addressing your own mental state? Even if the intention is good, it invalidates their lived experience by slapping this 'you're too young, you'll figure it out' reason on it.
Solid advice: Stop looking. Really, just stop. Nothing is more unattractive and nothing feels worse than desperation and obsession so just don't be that.
Focus on being a good friend, neighbor, family member, citizen, whatever. Be social, be kind, be slow to anger and quick to empathy. Unplug and go be human with humans. Be YOU. Do this and it will come. _And even if it doesn't,_ your life will be rewarding and meaningful. Stop grasping for Hollywood, fantasy romance and "norms". Be a good human and _let it happen._
I get what you're trying to say but it just feels like I'll just have to go through life with this relationship sized hole and just have to be happy that it exists. It sucks. Like you're being denied through all your efforts and in the end it doesn't matter.
From my experience it doesn't come others may have luck with this
You are right.
By the end of the day it is all about detachment.
And all these “stop chasing start attracting” bloggers are right to say that.
But it is so hard to understand and to apply it to your own journey.
A change of lens is needed.
Get into a relationship with yourself until then.
Obsession is actually attractive to me, i love women who really want me to the point of obsession
@@Fiox789 yeah it's one of those bitter pills to swallow that you could somehow with RNG just not end up in a good relationship, but I think it's one that needs to be taken with the belief that regardless if you're in a relationship or not, you will be happy and better as a person yourself. as corny as it sounds there's a lot to discover and see internally, that is at least the most you could control
I think a Dr. K video exploring Limerence more deeply would be great! It's something not very well known (outside the internet) and that a lot of people experience thinking it's true love.
I can't find it but in one video Dr. K said something like "The majority of women can't get a relationship with the men they would like, and the majority of men can't get any relationship."
But it's men who need to adjust their expectations, and get over their entitlement complex. And it's men who need to put themselves in women's shoes. Every time Dr K starts to make a necessary point about modern dating dynamics, he always cancels it out by parroting the same old neoliberal mcfeminist talking points. Why does he justify misandry? Call out misogyny, but misandry is much more pervasive today and needs to be called out as well
@@bradenanderson4271 PREACH HOLY SHIT DUDE ugh drives me nuts
"trash diet of the mind" - what a great explanation :)
I found out about limerence just yesterday and finally have a word for what I've been experiencing for 15+ years. To make matters worse, I have a strong tendency to develop feelings for attractive women in settings like therapy, rehab or even coachings, basically places where I try to fix other issues that make my life miserable. I've never managed to talk about it with these individuals, causing a chain of misery and despair and unfulfilled needs until I eventually get over it by indulging in addictive behaviours again, like weed, video games, porn. It feels like a never ending cycle. I am aware of my projections on these people, I am aware of setting myself up for pain and disappointment and yet I can't help but keep dreaming because it feels better than facing the reality of a failed life of 30 years and what feels like to me a more dire and hopeless prospect for the future looking at the all the events happening on a global scale.
I just hope that I can address these issues soon and get out of this constant cycle that I put myself into and actually start living life instead of spending 95% of my time in my mind.
respect for being honest about it. Heidi Priebe (psychology youtuber) has some videos on limerence and her own experience with it, it seems to be heavily linked to poor self esteem and anxiety.
"looking at the all the events happening on a global scale" stop ruining your day over stuff you have no control over. You're overthinking yourself into a depression. Literally just go outside and frolic amongst some flowers and you'll feel better.
Damn, Dr K just straight roasting us on our recommended feed XD
That’s what I’m saying bro
That's how you know he is giving you good advice. No sugar coatin
its not a roast, its just the truth, but not in a bad way
I got so lucky meeting her in high school, my first love. But we work on it every single day. It's been 10 years now and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Definitely helps to get into the relationship while you’re Both still young. By the time you’re in your mid 30s, it’s difficult for either gender to find anyone that they like.
Your " the rest of life " partner is whoever you choose and keep choosing provided they do the same. Love is a choice and a verb.
ok i didnt mind for a while but we need to stop with these clickbait titles doc
Nah. Keep the tiktok kids clicking. Mabye they will learn something :))))
No cause it discredits the actual info that Dr k has. Like I tell people about Dr k, but they’re put off by the titles. But yes, if it gets people to click on the info and learn something for the betterment of their life, awesome. Yet, it’s still tarnishs the great info.
@@weezypeezy1725 do you feel like it’s a catch22? Like It’s hard to recommend cuz of clickbaityness but it might draw in new people? What kind of title do you think you’d be comfortable suggesting to peeps?
Kinda true
@weezypeezy1725 if you gather the contents of a video from a thumbnail that's more indicative of you, in a landscape of clickbait nonsense where the video is substanceless garbage I'm okay with Dr. Ks message being spread around even if it's at the cost of 100% transparent messaging.
There is no such thing as a soulmate.. just two individuals who can tolerate the worst of each other and appreciate the best
There's only the spectrum of compatibility
I honestly don't think she needs relationship or dating advice, she needs advice on anxiety and obsessive thinking. Fixating on 'I'm so lonely' just makes you feel lonely. She needs a meditation or mindfulness practice, anything to get her out of her head and into her body. Also, practicing gratefulness can help a lot to get through single or lonely periods, and I know that sounds silly at first, but you can fake it til you make it. Meditating on 'I'm grateful to have legs that can run' or 'I'm grateful for my friends' can help center you. Even if you don't feel gratefulness at first, deep breathing and just saying that has helped me, and over time and practice, I have felt a genuine increase in real gratitude.
I think what you are saying is almost the same as doc here is saying, going about it in a different way. Especially the what you put in your mind, creates a certain result. If you focus on gratefulness and being mindful, you are shifting what you put in your mind. So your mind will change...Anxiety and loneliness could also start to change with how you talk to your mind or what thoughts, information etc you feed it. Like you suggest it could help to change her mind by feeding it gratefulness and meditation.
Believing in a soulmate sounds alot like putting the onus for your fulfillment onto another person.
Marrying you is the most difficult thing your spouse will ever agree to in their own life, dont burden them further with the responsibility of completing yours.
in a happy relationship myself, but stopped by to hear what you had to say and enjoyed myself greatly. thanks for the insights as always and my hopes go out to OP that things get better for them :)
Thank you for explaining limerence and how it develops...it explains so much and i feel i can finally place it and work with it/heal it. ❤
The slight hesitation "Ooookay" sums it up.
Genuinely man, this is one of the most intense clarity inducing videos on HG. I've watched almost all your guys' vids n guides for years now, I'm not sure if it was the specific wording and pacing from Dr. K, but it's like you've hit a T20 on Darts with this vid ❤
but this one hit different bro, especially the practical aspect of the inputs to the mind & body
Soulmates are an invention from cheesy books and movies to make a plot in order to have a meaning. Fiction needs a meaning, reality doesn't.
In real life, you might want someone "good enough", since we're all replaceable.
I think you should find someone good
'Good enough' is just settling and is bound to lead to unhappy long term relationships with constantly building resentment
I didn't write this letter but I *could* have. The projected manic pixie dream girl trope is real and the bane of my existence as a female who also fits in "better" in male dominated spaces (general geekery, gaming and fandoms) and industries (I was a touring stage tech and lighting engineer when I was younger). I appreciate this content.
Whew I felt called out but in a good way. Thank you 🙏🏼
I quit dating 2 years ago. Never again.
Can't avoid arching an eyebrow when I'm reading "All the Internet is full of misogyny" and "Where are the good men". Good men are always there but, seem invisible because they're not the "bad boy" most ladies seek.
💯
Women are not seeking narcissists but unfortunately some get manipulated by slick con artists.
As well, good men can and do fall for narcissistic women!! I think making your own life great for starters helps avoiding losers!!
@@cindy-x9x women do seek narcissists because they seem confident. And the good guys they don't like because they either say they're boring or are so insecure they can't be with one that actually treats them well.
@@cindy-x9x Yes. This is the "personality exam" problem (when they use personality exams to hire people at jobs). You are trying to filter down, but unwillingly communicating what is expected. Like a badly-designed multiple-choice exam.
If I go through a twitter thread about things women say are "red flags" - so I get a sense of what they are trying to avoid - it's things like,
Can't get emotional too soon
Can't be too intense
Can't have an obsessive interest in a thing
Can't talk about personal stuff (trauma)
Can't be too geeky, too this, too that...
And, THAT - that funnels the list down to the men who hide those things. The narcissists are often the best, at that. It's actually a problem that is easy to solve, in isolation, by letting people just be themselves, without judgment. But we have generations of training each other into these patterns of behaviour, so even IF you give people that chance, doesn't mean they'll open up.
Haven't finished this video yet but I hope you touch upon the phenomenon of an intense feeling of connection when looking someone in the eyes that feels like touching someone's soul. Had it only happen once and I'm having a hard time letting it go.
“Happiness isn’t something you wait around for. It’s something you create yourself… Happiness comes only through effort… No, just be happy. You’ll try won’t you?”
Late Spring, 1949 (Yasujiro Ozu)
Never been with anyone , will never be loved by anyone , this is just what i expected from the beginning
Yep me too, this outlook is healthy for me cause i know who i am. There's no reason to be sad about it just keep doing your thing.
It's one thing to move forward if your'e not being loved and another thing to believe you will never be loved. I don't know you, but to me, this sounds like a black and white thinking. What makes you so sure you will never be loved by anyone?
@@Samuel-sg2iv what does this mean - you know you're "unlovable" ?
I get that it's rough but if you think about it, you really aren't different enough from everyone else that you are significantly unlovable. I think people just sort of let their own clouded perspective and self pity become fact
self fulfilling prophecy, he has a lot of good videos about escaping that cycle.
I’m enjoying my single life. I pray y’all find the same peace and joy that isn’t dependent on circumstances. 🙏
I relate a lot to both what the poster said, and what was said about the experiences outside of that. No one's perfect.
Besides, if you have a perfect partner and you're not (since no one is) there would eventually be resentment and boredom because growing and learning is meant to be done together. I also like the soulmate thing. I met mine, unfortunately life meant circumstances led to a short relationship due to a degenerative disorder. They're still alive and we are friends, but I am unable to care for them 24/7 like they want.
I dont need to find my soul mate I need to find myself. Havent been single that long only 32 years
W cope
sometimes the title is enough to make me react, this time I cried, props to whoever writes it.
Even without wtchin it I've realized there's nothing you can do for someone to love you, that's soulcrushing and liberating at the same time
Yep, my expectations are in fact impossible to meet and I'm fine with that, being alone is great too. I don't understand why people focus on wanting to find someone so much tbh :V
Great video! Just wanted to nitpick a very small detail in OP's post that stuck out for some reason: the plot of 500 days of summer isn't that the woman "fixes" the man and the man leaves her. In fact Summer leaves Tom in the movie and the rest of the movie is left for Tom to develop himself over the heartbreak. Summer eventually gets married (hopefully happily) to someone else. I don't know anything about Jungian analysis but it at least seems to match what I googled about the anima (in the sense that Tom does project her MPDG idealism on Summer, and is consequently heartbroken because of it)
this content is gold. from my personal experience, i have to fully agree to what he is trying to tell us. i myself and my past girlfriends all have projected and forgot to translate.
my personal truth is: love is everywhere, but we fail to see it, because we have expectations of what we consider it to look and feel like.
"Never Say Never" Ahh me doing the HUH rn 😤😤😤
It's not about romance. It's about character. Find someone you 1. Are sexually attracted to, and 2. Can work issues out with easily
This is difficult. 3 years ago a dude broke up with me because, according to him we "had no chemistry". I had a very hard time trying to get over this and honestly I lost completely hope in finding someone. Until then I believed in soulmates and all I ever wanted was a true love but all I got was this "we don't have chemistry" s**t. Since then I feel very lazy to deal with people and had to remake all my beliefs. I don't think that it's difficult to deal with men, I think that it's difficult to deal with human beings. In a world where no one is 100% trustable, how can we freely give love to people in a world like this we live in? Then what worked for me was just the acceptance that people are broken, including myself and save my energies to deal with my own issues until the last day of my life.
The algorithms are terrible. It's so difficult to fight the algorithm. I delete my social media every couple years and start over because it feeds me a lot stuff I don't want.
For the "dumped because of depression", from my own experience, someone depressed can become extremely hostile, and impossible to communicate with
The issue is not the depression, it's the behavior linked to it and the refusal to change said behavior
Dr K dropping this just shy of a week before valentines day😂
0:01 “breathing,” and “has pulse,” seems achievable
I just don’t go outside
Here are my standards when it comes to women: 1. Talk to me like I'm a normal human being and not some loser you were forced to and 2. Be funny. Unfortunately (at least in Canada) in order to even be allowed a chance to date someone, I need to be tall & physically attractive & popular with other people & have a good paying job, etc. Pretty much everything out of my control. But I'm the entitled one🤷
Thx doc, 4 ever alone club rise up!
19:08 there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with breaking up with someone that's depressed all the time. They often project their pain onto their partners. It's draining and unbearable to be constantly blamed for someone else's issues. It has nothing to do with misogyny. Women will break up with men for the same reason.
Well damn okay guess I'm alone all my life 🤣
Join the club lol.
Same
Things got a little bit better when I binge watched Stoicism. And reduce my consumption of red pill. I’ve been making an effort to expose myself more to philosophy, and I find it it aided in emotional equanimity
Perfect video after I got rejected 😭
I believe in the buddhist theory that this is the hell planet, and we are amongst deamons. I know its lazy explaintion. But wtf is then going on?!
I found mine. And spent absolutely best years of my life with her, hands down. And then I lost her because of me being an absolutely useless piece of crap. Because yeah, I was useless with my then-undiagnosed ADHD (I got the diagnosis over a year after I got kicked out). 3.5 years have passed since she showed me the door and even today, if she messaged me "hey, I think I might have made a mistake, how about trying again?" the dust raised by me starting would be still in the air several days after. But she won't.
As for my "internet diet" - there's nothing relationship-related, actually. It's mostly true crime podcasts with some bass-related contend and F1 news mixed in. And a bit of Dr K sprinkled on top.
The dating learning curve is hard let alone knowing what you you're looking for is even realistic or exists
Cheeky title change
Me with social anxiety I can't even speak to girls I like >:(
Uploaded one minute ago and here i am, am i cooked 😭
TL;DR: Pick someone who has the POTENTIAL to be your soulmate. Not someone who already is.
Hi Dr K. I hope one day you’ll do a video on betrayal trauma and what porn and sex addiction does to the partner or spouse of the addicted and how to navigate the hurt
I didn't find my person. I ran into them when I wasn't looking for anything. There's a concept in Daoism called Wuwei, which literally means "no action" but it more accurately means not forcing any action. If you try to force something, it's not going to happen. Let things play out, take their course, and things will happen.
I've got a wonderful partner, a few circles of incredible friends, and on a career path which I love. But none of this was forced. I focused on my own actions and what I can control rather than exerting control externally. It is imperative to recognize that you will never be in total control of everything, and that is perfectly okay.
Not the change in title from soulmate to valentine after people complained 😂
Awesome intro soundtrack
lol I'd be happy to find even ONE person who wants me. literally no woman has ever wanted me.
Same
Did I see this episode before or am i just having a dajafo
My standards aren't astronomical; think it's fear of ruining a decent person's life with my accumulated stress and negativity.
This was literally uploaded to the minute I asked this woman I'm dating to be my girlfriend.
Never believed in such things as soulmates. You teally believe with 8billion people you can find the one destined to be with you?
No, I believe I can find one that is convenient for me in most points and we arrange ourselves to be most comfortable with. More than anything I’d believe someone out there is most suited for me, but even the chance of ever meeting them is 1x10-10😅
It's not 1 in billion there many soul mates. All it mean is someone that has similar soul. I think soul means personality and values in this case. If you look at it from mystical new age view. Soul mates are just someone that come in to your life to teach you something and then they go one their way to the next person. Soulmate in this context play big part in charter of you life but not in future chapters.
Amazing video honestly mind blowing
Cool, dr k
Was thinking about NOT killing myself today, thank God you fixed that
Edit: do not respond to this
😊 I actually found mine 2 months ago
Im happy for you bro 🔥
My day is ruined 🙏 (jokes aside, I'm happy for you ^^)
how do you know it that fast?
I'm sorry bro. Congrats though.
Appreciate how lucky you are. And i wish you a happy life.
I don't even care anymore. If you get to 50 still single then it'd be a nightmare to try and fit somebody into all your routines.
Well you dont need to rub it in...
OP- as soon as you said misogyny you are totally guaranteed to be alone.
I agree to the extent because misogyny has been watered down by the feminist movement and women that can't take accountability. Not dissimilar to incel, bigotry, racist and homophobe.
It's just another buzzword vvomen use as a copout.
I don't 100% agree, but I got lost when she started talking about movie tropes and genres...
I'm sure it's a deeper emotional thing happening but there's over a hundred years of movies with different types of characters. Go exploring if you're dissatisfied with generic tropes. In fact, a vast vast majority of major female movie characters do not die in childbirth.
Dudes don't like being a problem before we even do anything - if she talks about misogyny, she will try to emasculate any of my expressions that she'll find too stereotypical for classic male style of development, or at worst maybe even will genuinelly harm me when I'll be in vulnerable state, so I'll never try to make such woman my girl, I developed too much self preservation.
Just a week ago I had conversation with my friend on the topic that she don't get that I would like to cultivate more masculine self image and have some enjoyment in that, which looks like distress to her because I care about something extra and I'd like to put slight bit of effort in that and that supposedly makes me enslaved in this gender discourse. I pointed to her that it's more about her understanding of the topic and I wouldn't try to poke at her trying to cultivate her femininity, I'd try to be encouraging.
Referencing Zootopia and how Judy cut Nick to being merelly a predator as his main characteristic from her pov before anything they formed as fresh colegues made her realize how I feel about being talked to like that and it evolved into nicer convo over time, it was nice meeting.
I want to feel for women who can’t find the perfect man they want to be in a relationship with, I really do. But when I compare that to myself and so many other men who get zero attention from any women at all, zero, it’s hard to for me to care about them. I don’t like being this way, I try not to, but I am.
The way you can think about it is that if you really want something and do t get it, at least you have a sense of hope that one day you’ll get it and be happy. But when you get the thing you thought you wanted and it turns out to be fake and hollow, it almost leaves you in a worst place because then there’s really nowhere to turn to.
Yes exactly so far the women I've run into are looking for someone perfect, amazing, funny and rich. Super unrealistic i understand why they're single and will probably stay single
Empathy is a two-way street. I'm naturally an empathetic person, but people don't care about my issues or even blame me for them. And they demand that I care about their issues
The timing of this is a little specific Dr k.
18:42 even more false information in this: "woman do not abandon their man when he gets sick"
My best friend got dumped by his girlfriend when he had an accident and broke his spine. She thought he would not be able to walk anymore.
But he recovered, working as a fireman and is happy that he did not marry her.
That's not getting sick though. Broken spine mean no job. Woman leaves. If you was independently wealthy she'd have stuck by him. This isn't being down on women, just look at it women and income gap. What about kids. A man that can't provide is social construct too that is taught to women as someone to avoid.
He talked about WOMEN & you talked about ONE woman. Huge difference.
EVERY GUY NEEDS TO WATCH DAN BACON
Just in time for Valentine’s Day 🥰
I found "the one". I loved everything about her. The way she talks. Her voice. Even the small imperfections. We had the same hobbies, the same kind of humour, the same goals in life. We used to be friends for 5 years...and when I opened up to her she rejected me because I was not good enough for her...
Yeah they always think "Hes nice but I can do better". And then better never comes
tbh an anime pfp tells me all I need to know.
@@SijanModz No. It doesn't. But if you want to know, that belongs to one of my hobbies. However, if you think my choice in my yt pfp tells you all you need to know about me, that is telling me more than I'd like to know about you. Have a nice day.
She may be the one in a different timeline but she can't be your one in this one (for the time being). I'm sorry it didn't work out between you but I promise that it ended because it was not supposed to be in that time. Think about how you had 5 years together and yet she still rejected you. You or her or both of you clearly have some stuff to work through, and maybe she'll get there and maybe she won't, but all you can do is make you the most fulfilled you can be in your own life - with your own job/lifestyle, hobbies and connections
I have long since forgotten about basherte.
As I’m watching this I’m realizing that not only do I not have the same problem personally, but the opposite. I’d call it a stretch to say my mother was devouring, as some people say, but definitely a bit overbearing, which I think would perfectly explain why my interest in relationships of almost any kind is so low, even if it isn’t non existent. It puts me in a very weird position where I feel mostly ok, but I wish that I wanted relationships more. Either that or I’m possibly in denial about nervousness or fear of failure/rejection (though as I’m writing this I feel very dubious as to wether you can realize you’re in denial without emotional distress, which I’m not feeling atm). What should I do? 🤔🤨
Her standards are too high. The good man, or her soul mate is probably the average looking guy, who may be chubby, but he's not on her radar
As if my day wasnt going any worse!
Truth may hurt, but will set you free.
hopefully it makes it better bc this video is brilliantly insightful !
Damn dr k with the punch in the gut. Usually my dad would sue but this time it's ok.
Get into a relationship with yourself first.
Basing your romantic views on rom-coms and disney movies is such a terrible idea. There's so many better movies that have more realistic depictions of love and relationships...
Feel like I heard this one before - is this reuploaded??
This episode had new vocab words with no definition like what's a trope
I had to try twice, just to get through the opening, because, man, that is a LOT of preconceptions (and misconceptions) they need to shed, and there's clear low self-esteem and stuff indicative of Borderline Personality Disorder (which, if you're reading this, check with your psych, if you don't already have a diagnosis). There's a high risk of trauma, too, which will always need some work.
The one piece of advice I can give: give yourself space and time. Give potential partners space and time. Giving people the space and peace to be themselves goes a long way, and that applies to you, too.
"Jung, tropes and archetypes” sounds a lot like Jordan Peterson, and that would mean, yes, it's a jungian trained therapist 😉
:03 Kind, Honest, Smart, Religious, 18-23,
Willing to try my hobbies.
Wants kids.
Virgin but ill accept a body count thats 3 or less cause mine is 3. I don't think thats to much to ask is it or is that limerance.
I know im not perfect but im trying to be better. I went to therapy for depression and anxiety which i eventually got over the depression but still got anxiety but its some what healthy because its "Oh am i gonna be able to aford house" anxiety.
You want a virgin but you're not ? Dude..
@@MusiicRoolz Yes I know its hypocritical/shallow and I will happily except if no virgin wants to be with me because I'm not one myself that's her choice and she's keeping the faith. I also said I'm open minded to women that got the same body count as me or lower. My secondary reason is a lower chance of divorce and I know "that's not loving and accepting" but to my own defense I'm bastard I didn't grow up in a solid home with parents loving each other to be an example to me to what love is.
That's a solid bit of expectations, what will she get for providing You such set of characteristics?
And important, notice that You didn't mention a singular thing around looks and I'm not 100% sure that You would go with any girl You find not at least somewhat appealing to prefferences You have.
Did it not occur to anyone that everyone who uses dating apps are somewhat weird ass people because they can't do anything outside of their phone? Can't connect with anyone?
Im confused, didnt they post this one just a short while ago?
I feel like I've seen and heard this before. Is this some kind of re-upload?
i know.
Brick by brick.
Doc! Im sure driving is the most dangerous thing women do.
I'm single, lean and fit (6 pack), 6ft tall, in the 95th percentile for net worth at my age, and probably a 7/10 looks when put together, but it's still extremely hard to find a girl these days, unless they are 200+ pounds (they really think im at their level somehow???). It's a clown world out there. A dating crisis is an understatement, more like apocalypse.
I mean you did just rate yourself entirely on looks, maybe think about what kinda signals you're putting out in the world? The dating world is rough in the modern day no doubt about it, but tbh even unconventionally people can find plenty of romance - just depends how you look (as in what kind of vibes you're putting out), what you attract and what you accept
I get that. First thing you have ditch is the level bit. Any woman that comes up to isn't insulting you by taking interest. Maybe you just the guy for them, they may want to work out with you and lose the weight. I've seen that happen. 200+ pound can be caused by so much. I was like that in my early 20s. I had more issues, great attracting women not so good socially with women and I couldn't tell if they were interest, don't notice flirting.
It's your personality. one of my friends that is 300lbs is dating a nice woman that was a model and runs her own business
@Fiox789 idk im pretty chill and can hold a conversation, just not very extroverted or charismatic.
@@chrismaxwell1624 you are right about the level thing and im not necessarily offended by it, more so frustrated, but i do think there is a problem of many young women overestimating themselves due to our culture (e.g. "body positivity") and the attention they receive on dating apps/social media.
I already know this.
Not that you need it, eh, potter 😅
Alright. I'll just find two.