this is another thing i don't like about the dating/mating system: having feelings of resentment, bitterness, towards the opposite sex, is a thousand, million times worse in guys, men than it is in girls, women, and it's a reminder how a lot of people don't like to get into debates about who has it worse or harder in a certain area in life, which causes them to make disagreeing statements, which can get very infuriating, annoying, upsetting. I know for a fact it's worse in men than in women. To be more specific, what I mean is, if a guy has this type of mindset or feelings towards women, it will come across in his interactions, women will unfortuneately sense it, they will sense the subtleness of it, even if the guy does his best to hide it, but if a woman has those same feelings or mindset towards guys, men, she will still have plenty of options with guys, men, she will still be able to get a boyfriend, a lot of men will overlook that. A portion of the male population will overlook that, won't care about that. However, if a guy is like that, pretty much his chances will be doomed from the start, it was because of this quote right here: "If you’re angry, bitter and secretly hate women, don’t be surprised if you keep getting rejected. Women smell hidden agendas better than men ever could.”
@@SchoolOfAttraction from your thoughts, why do you think it is like that? as in, how come guys, men, are far more willing than women are, to overlook feelings, mindsets of bitterness and resentment towards the other sex?
I actually have a LOONG answer to that - which might make a good video, but there are some thoughts in bullet point: - Men are (in general) really poor emotional communicators - so they're useless at discussing small resentments until they become massive - Men (in general) don't have close friend groups where they get to regularly vent frustrations, so the frustrations stay bottled inside - There's a culture of harsh judgment against women that self-perpetuates amongst men - In the wider world - because men are in general so bad at communication, we are likewise not so good at making our needs heard on a broader political scale - needs when it pertains to emotional needs, rather than financial or power needs. So women get feminism, which, while it has some crazies, is still organised by some very bright and well intentioned women who know how to make their needs heard - men get MGTOW and Redpill - which has a couple of really smart, well intentioned guys, but is mostly filled with angry men who emotionally outburst, rather than intellectually discuss needs and fair solutions - so they don't get taken seriously on the larger world stage - this leads to resentment. You can see a pattern, I honestly believe men need to learn to better communicate feelings and needs - and that starts when they're little boys. LIkewise, women need to learn to better set boundaries and be less 'nice' as little girls - that would take care of a lot of adult female resentments that exist.
Your comments are so spot on on many issues I've seen in the Red pill philosophy, but mostly on its community. The obsession with "inflicting dread" and maintaining power is incredibly absurd and unhealthy. Their refusal to be vulnerable is something to feel pity for, too. The irony of seeing them get enraged like little kids against anyone who dares to critisize or question the philosophy is laughable at best, specially when they're so hell bent on being "alphas"... but react the exact opposite of a man who doesn't give a damn by taking it so personal. That last one is huge tell of how much they've failed on their journey to truly understand women's nature and fell into a pit of resentment, getting perpetualy stuck in the "anger phase" and never moving on from there. I used to read and post in several groups, but I grew tired of all the unhealthy shit going on in there (anyone who dared to question the philosophy is automatically a "white knight" or a "beta". Just like SJW they mock, they also fail to understand nuances), their TERRIBLE advice ("never tell a woman you love her, she'll lose respect"... right, "don't ever tell her any of your weaknesses like fears or insecurites, she'll use them against you"... uh-huh... so, are you into sociopathic narcissists, don't you?), and specially this absurd need to constantly bash women and regard them as less than human. While I focused on the dark side of the community, it really shows how poisoned the philosophy and the community has become.
A lot of people in that community think seem to think in a very black-and-white manner, but human beings (and especially human sexuality) is very multidimensional. I used to read TRP a lot as well and am glad I stopped when I did.
Yeah bud spot on! It's really what happens without 'peer review' - Without some kind of governing body, all kinds of unhappy souls can join and inject their emotional qualms into the mix. Pity really...
The more touch you are with your feelings, the more in touch she will be with another man. Any man naive enough to believe that vulnerability and displaying your insecurities will get you anywhere with women deserves what they get. It’s not terrible advice at all.
You claim to be focusing on a dark side of the community , but frame the whole community as that dark side is silly. You could do that with any group and make the nicest amish non violent group look horrible. Red Pill is about seeing the truth and not the bullshit feminist and society try and beat over your head to make you feel like being a vulnerable emotional weak man is what most women want , which is not true.
I've been following you for awhile. I don't always like your stuff but we are entitled that our own opinions, but mostly your vids have helped. I was brought up to love everyone warts and all. Through my journey I have looked into what women have to go through in life to try and understand their plight. My journey of rebuilding has had many dark days and may joyful 1s too. I descide awhile back this wasn't just a journey on becoming good with women but with everyone in general including myself. The part on attachment styles has opened a new eye on something I was very avoident in 1 relationship and in the last I was the anxious and have said many times I have payed my Karmatic debts. Hopeful I can get to this good place with the next relationship.
The big mistake of men, of the "red pill" also but of other groups in particular, is trying to solve the problems at a personal level. Sure, by all means try to improve your life as an individual but also realize this: The problems we are facing have societal and political roots and action to that direction is the only long term viable strategy. We have to organize and take political action, eveything else is half measures.
I agree, though I think it's important to be empowered knowing that change in the world starts with a change within you. Being proud and passionate about the changes you want made in the world has to start somewhere.
I don't agree with this - Obviously the world at large makes things easier or harder - But when you master yourself the world rarely gets in your way. This attitude of "the world is at fault ,there's nothing I Can really do to improve my life until teh world changes" is such a defeatest attitude that will prevent you from getting anywehre in life. So I wouldn't argue there aren't bad things and situations in the world, but a man can achieve incredible things just by focusing on himself.
@@SchoolOfAttraction You can focus only on yourself and eventually get results, but it is called "egoism". And you can focus both on yourself and changing the world to be better for other men - like you do with the School of Attraction - and if more men will do something like this, the world would be easier =-)
@@SchoolOfAttraction I think you misunderstood me. I am not advocating for any "defeatist" attitude, quite the opposite. What I am saying is that we shouldn't adopt half measures or complacent attitudes just because the situation is (still) OK for each of us as individuals when the society around us is demolished. I am not advocating for men to "go their own way", I am advocating to grab the world by the horns - instead of being satisfied with breadcrumbs. That is what men have been historically doing.
thanks dude , opened my eyes to a few things , ill be sure to check those books out , if i go by the attachment theory on here id say i started off secure , went to anxious, went to avoidant and bow im trying to find a way to get back to security , i dont know what fear is but id say i went through a period where i was too scared to say hi to a woman i found pretty . now i just struggle to find a connection. the few times i have i've found them to have partners, have other guys muscle in on my action, one time i got myself kicked out , women are everywhere, women you connect with are harder to find and im not socially adept enough to make her stick around , even if she does take notice in me. got a book for that? the game maybe? havent read it yet. i gather its pretty much being avoidant?
The game is largely avoidant thinking - often PUA stuff is a mix of avoidant and narcissistic behaviour patterning - BUT all that being said, if you're mindful to avoid that side of things, PUA material still has useful content, you jsut have to be aware enough to pick the good from the bad. Try 'Sincere Seduction' - by Damien Diecke ;)
Great video. It would be awesome to see one just like this but on how to navigate and the good/bad psychology of open-relationships instead of specfically red-pill.
Healthy and positivity towards others....you will have a good life and keep a good grounded circle of friends finally learned after 37 years how to be friends with women
Cool video. Like the perspective. I can highly recommend „The Tactical Guide to Women“ by S.T. Smith. The perspectives on women there also appear in men. But it gives good insights how things accelerate each other.
I don't really identify with the way you portray red pill guys, though admittedly I might not be the stereotypical case. Romantic trauma was not what lead me to the red pill because I was in a.. satisfactory relationship when I first learned about it. I wasn't hurt (WHO HURT YOU?) I just noticed many of the things that are taught in the red pill that had a lot of explanatory power about things I was noticing in my relationship. So I don't have a big revenge boner about running dread game on some bitches because I think they deserve to suffer. Really I just want to know they type of animal I'm dealing with when dating women so I don't get played. And I simultaneously don't apologize for playing the game back the way women play it. Dread game sounds pretty nasty depending on how you phrase it and what your goals are, but quite frankly women have dread game already built into their game without having to even try. It's called being on social media, and male colleagues and friends. They have plausible deniability on their side when saying it's some innocuous relationship or friendship, but they can easily flip that into a romantic interest with one little inviting look if they wanted to. I mean half of all women in a relationship already have the back up guy in their life. Also I'm not sure I agree that you shouldn't focus on the power balance in a relationship. I think it's very easy to hold up some dynamic as the ideal, and to marginalize people who don't practice what you preach as having an unhealthy mindset. But it's just been my experience that any relationship where a guy doesn't have the frame is not the type of relationship I aspire to have in any way shape or form. I don't even know what a 50/50 relationship is supposed to look like, so someone is always going to have the upper hand at any given time. And as far as I've seen women just don't handle having that upper hand well, however sexist and whatever pejorative that may be. There's more things I disagree with but this comment is already way too long for most attention spans in the year 2020. But from my experience I see nothing particularly bad about the red pill. It's the way people use it and the intention behind it that counts. If you learn martial arts to go around and fuck people up you're kinda pathetic but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with martial arts.
I love your thoughts here but it feels like you may not have experienced not just rejection but actual cruelty from women. Storytime: a long time ago in freshman year of high school, I had a crush on this girl in my speech and debate class. Well her and her evil henchmen decided it would be fun to have fun at my expense. So she pretended to like me one day....even went on a "date" with me. She gets me to write my number on a piece of paper. Me, being the hopeless romantic: had already written a love poem to her on a piece of paper and had it in my back pocket. I take it out, write my number on the paper. She writes her "number" on another paper. Later on that week, I go and call "her" number just to chat (this was before everyone had a cell phone, still using landlines). And to my surprise it isn't her who picks up but her cackling hiennas she called friends. They then read that love poem out loud in a mocking fashion. I obviously was distraught and brought to tears (after hanging up the phone). Didn't feel like going back to school for a week. A couple years later I find out that she did this to another guy after me: and that poor soul killed himself. I know this was high school and people are most immature at that age. But I cannot help but think of stuff like that everytime I even try to get close to a woman: I'm terrified this is all one big ruse again. She can't "actually" love me, right? I'm 34 now and things are different a bit. But I still struggle with dating all the same.
First of all bud - I want to say that's frigging disgustingly cruel and a horrible horrible thing for any human to have to go through - Before I say anything else I was to acknowledge that part. Secondly - Men are capable of equal cruelty and do it all the time as well... If you think high school guys haven't played the game of 'pretend to like the girl' before, you'd definitely be wrong. As someone who works with both men and women - I'm very exposed to all the horrible ways both genders hurt each other. I believe there are ways the world is uniquely unfair to men - but it's also uniquely unfair to women in other ways. Feminists hate me when I say that it's not at all obvious who has it worse... Both genders generally don't have a good time of dating... You know how you struggle to convince women how hard men have it? It's equally hard to convince many men how badly women have it... Neither better or worse - But just different kinds of suck. The reason I dont' much like red-pill or feminism is that ultimately we as a society shoudl just call out crappy behaviour in general... Those high school girls were effing cruel and the same people who call them out for that abuse against you, should also be calling out guys who behavebadly. We shouldnt' need opposing groups fighting for individual genders (in my opinion)
I've always thought Jung's idea of the Shadow was insightful, but the problem is there doesn't seem to be any workbooks etc people could use in the same way that there are plenty of CBT workbooks for tackling things like social anxiety, phobias and depression. So if anyone has any recommendations for doing Shadow work at a practical level I for one would be interested in it. I mean, I'm curious about my own Shadow. Aren't you curious about yours? On another note, while a secure attachment style is ideal, I suspect that for most people this will be like seeing a unicorn. The toxicity of the culture, the emotional and psychological trauma from their upbringing and general peer pressure mean that a secure attachment style can really only be achieved through serious prolonged effort just like being fit enough to run a marathon takes prolonged effort. Sadly, I suspect that just as running a marathon isn't important to millions of people so too there are millions of people out there that just don't want to even think about improving their attachment styles, which is certainly quite a conundrum for those unicorns out there that do have secure attachment styles. They must feel very lonely at times. If you are a securely attached individual you have my respect but also my pity because the behaviour you see in those around you must strike you as a form of madness and their inability to see their own madness may even make you doubt yourself. But hopefully, you can stay secure in yourself.
YES! I've been wanting to incorporate more shadow work into my coaching - But there is so little good literature around on it - nothing that's elegant and straight forward to work through. And I agree, and perhaps I should have said more about that - being 100% securely attached is just a rainbow - we aim for it and, it helps guide our decisions and self-development, but you're never 100% there.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Perhaps Jordan Peterson might be able to help. He seems pretty clued up in Jung and he does have that future authoring program he keeps mentioning in some of his videos. Perhaps he's incorporated Jungian ideas into that because he's certainly keen on talking about them in his videos.
@@SchoolOfAttraction If you watch Jordan Peterson's videos on RUclips he talks off-handedly about his future authoring program in which he takes some of his students through writing down life goals etc. There might be some information about it on his university's website. Alternatively, his book The 12 Rules for life might explore the same ideas. In any case, his videos on the analysis of Pinnochio etc are highly entertaining. If you haven't watched anything of Jordan Peterson's stuff it might be interesting, especially if you want to see how Jung might fit in with what you do. He's also done videos that offer a deep analysis of the bible stories from a psychological perspective which you might find interesting because it's not about praising the lord so to speak but about how those stories really do tap into something fundamental in the human psyche just like Jung's notion of the Shadow encapsulates something fundamental in the human psyche, too
Cheers Paul Yeah I read 12 rules for life - it reminded me a bit of Iron John, in that it gets so stuck in allegory that it loses my interest a bit - so even thought there's great stuff in there, it idnt' make me feel compelled. That being said Peterson's Map and Meaning is even more intensely allegorical.
I think it's important for men to value and love themselves first before actually even bothering dating. If you don't love and respect yourself forget about any woman doing the same for you. I think the positive side of the red pill is understanding that you have a burden of performance and a woman's love to you is never unconditional. The negative side seems to teach you to manipulate any woman in your life by using her insecurities against her. Don't get me wrong female entitlement is without a question laughably out of control. So it's easy to just say screw it I am going to get revenge against these "thots" But two wrongs dont make a right.
Hey Damian, what is that other attachment style that you chose not to talk about? Great content in this video. On an other tangent, I don't think the spinning plates aspect has to be unhealthy. I think it may be beneficial for some men to date multiple women before they get serious with one because it keeps himself aware that he has options, and that he can voluntarily choose to slowly drop those plates or add more depending on what they do or don't like about some of those women. In some respect I think it may be beneficial for some women as well. A woman knowing you have the CAPACITY to carefully choose your options let's her feel your full power as a man when you do enter a serious relationship with her. She may more easily relax into her feminine, and maybe even experience more gratitude to be in a relationship with you. I think it becomes unhealthy when it's purly an obsession with power.
So the other attachment style is Fearful, which is both avoidant and highly anxious - if you google "fearful attachment style" you'll get good info on it. Regarding spinning plates - outside of a relationships ABSOLUTEY! I think it's important for btoh men and women - but this isn't what spinning plates refers to as much as when you're already in a full time relationship you keep other women on the backburner to keep control - that's the unhealthy part of it, and some women and men do that as a control strategy.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I see, kinda like when a girl has "orbitors". A girl who has a lot of guy friends or followers entertained enough to anticipate the girl leaving their relationship to eventually take their place.
I'd like to STRONGLY recommend "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" as a complementary material for NMMNG. While the former goes deep into why you may be such a pushover, the latter provides actual techniques to overcome guilt and any manipulation attempt thrown at you by any person which are POWERFUL as F. I consider WISNIFG one of the most life changing books I've ever read, even more than NMMNG.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Sir can ou explain to me something thats being tormenting me for years you see. Everthing in the porn world is contraty to the real world. Mike Adriano look him up so he gets to ve sex with the hottest american women and women ingenral doing all sorts of perverted acts with them and the women love everysecond of it. The gu looks like shit explain that ?
@@Ash_Wen-li That doent explain it fully celebrites of what getting fucked by ugly guys on camera where is there slut alarm for tease porn women. Eevn escoerts have more standards than porn women. Regular l girls alwas so touchy feely about being seen as a slut but thease porn womwn don't give a dam in fact they are happy to be seen online by millions ? I do'nt get it ?!!!
@@Ash_Wen-li Even if the guy is hot in porn thet are stil exposing themselves to millions on camera doing sexual things. Where can Thease nympohos be found for us non porn regualr guys ?? Alot of girls I run into are overly prude even if you get them in bed alot dont peform like pornstars or sexually freaky.
There isn't a Jung book specifically called "shadow work" But Carl Jung did first coin the idea of the Ego and the Shadow - and working on the shadow came to be called Shadow Work.
this is another thing i don't like about the dating/mating system:
having feelings of resentment, bitterness, towards the opposite sex, is a thousand, million times worse in guys, men than it is in girls, women, and it's a reminder how a lot of people don't like to get into debates about who has it worse or harder in a certain area in life, which causes them to make disagreeing statements, which can get very infuriating, annoying, upsetting.
I know for a fact it's worse in men than in women.
To be more specific, what I mean is, if a guy has this type of mindset or feelings towards women, it will come across in his interactions, women will unfortuneately sense it, they will sense the subtleness of it, even if the guy does his best to hide it, but if a woman has those same feelings or mindset towards guys, men, she will still have plenty of options with guys, men, she will still be able to get a boyfriend, a lot of men will overlook that. A portion of the male population will overlook that, won't care about that.
However, if a guy is like that, pretty much his chances will be doomed from the start, it was because of this quote right here:
"If you’re angry, bitter and secretly hate women, don’t be surprised if you keep getting rejected. Women smell hidden agendas better than men ever could.”
Nicely said mate!
@@SchoolOfAttraction from your thoughts, why do you think it is like that? as in, how come guys, men, are far more willing than women are, to overlook feelings, mindsets of bitterness and resentment towards the other sex?
I actually have a LOONG answer to that - which might make a good video, but there are some thoughts in bullet point:
- Men are (in general) really poor emotional communicators - so they're useless at discussing small resentments until they become massive
- Men (in general) don't have close friend groups where they get to regularly vent frustrations, so the frustrations stay bottled inside
- There's a culture of harsh judgment against women that self-perpetuates amongst men
- In the wider world - because men are in general so bad at communication, we are likewise not so good at making our needs heard on a broader political scale - needs when it pertains to emotional needs, rather than financial or power needs. So women get feminism, which, while it has some crazies, is still organised by some very bright and well intentioned women who know how to make their needs heard - men get MGTOW and Redpill - which has a couple of really smart, well intentioned guys, but is mostly filled with angry men who emotionally outburst, rather than intellectually discuss needs and fair solutions - so they don't get taken seriously on the larger world stage - this leads to resentment.
You can see a pattern, I honestly believe men need to learn to better communicate feelings and needs - and that starts when they're little boys.
LIkewise, women need to learn to better set boundaries and be less 'nice' as little girls - that would take care of a lot of adult female resentments that exist.
Man this is so well explained. I learned some things from red pill but always felt like it was a little off. This clarifies why. Thanks so much!
Your comments are so spot on on many issues I've seen in the Red pill philosophy, but mostly on its community. The obsession with "inflicting dread" and maintaining power is incredibly absurd and unhealthy. Their refusal to be vulnerable is something to feel pity for, too. The irony of seeing them get enraged like little kids against anyone who dares to critisize or question the philosophy is laughable at best, specially when they're so hell bent on being "alphas"... but react the exact opposite of a man who doesn't give a damn by taking it so personal. That last one is huge tell of how much they've failed on their journey to truly understand women's nature and fell into a pit of resentment, getting perpetualy stuck in the "anger phase" and never moving on from there.
I used to read and post in several groups, but I grew tired of all the unhealthy shit going on in there (anyone who dared to question the philosophy is automatically a "white knight" or a "beta". Just like SJW they mock, they also fail to understand nuances), their TERRIBLE advice ("never tell a woman you love her, she'll lose respect"... right, "don't ever tell her any of your weaknesses like fears or insecurites, she'll use them against you"... uh-huh... so, are you into sociopathic narcissists, don't you?), and specially this absurd need to constantly bash women and regard them as less than human.
While I focused on the dark side of the community, it really shows how poisoned the philosophy and the community has become.
A lot of people in that community think seem to think in a very black-and-white manner, but human beings (and especially human sexuality) is very multidimensional. I used to read TRP a lot as well and am glad I stopped when I did.
Yeah bud spot on! It's really what happens without 'peer review' - Without some kind of governing body, all kinds of unhappy souls can join and inject their emotional qualms into the mix. Pity really...
Spot on man!!!!
The more touch you are with your feelings, the more in touch she will be with another man. Any man naive enough to believe that vulnerability and displaying your insecurities will get you anywhere with women deserves what they get. It’s not terrible advice at all.
You claim to be focusing on a dark side of the community , but frame the whole community as that dark side is silly. You could do that with any group and make the nicest amish non violent group look horrible. Red Pill is about seeing the truth and not the bullshit feminist and society try and beat over your head to make you feel like being a vulnerable emotional weak man is what most women want , which is not true.
Strong content. Again. Excellent dealing with tough topics in a balanced way
I've been following you for awhile. I don't always like your stuff but we are entitled that our own opinions, but mostly your vids have helped. I was brought up to love everyone warts and all. Through my journey I have looked into what women have to go through in life to try and understand their plight. My journey of rebuilding has had many dark days and may joyful 1s too. I descide awhile back this wasn't just a journey on becoming good with women but with everyone in general including myself. The part on attachment styles has opened a new eye on something I was very avoident in 1 relationship and in the last I was the anxious and have said many times I have payed my Karmatic debts. Hopeful I can get to this good place with the next relationship.
The big mistake of men, of the "red pill" also but of other groups in particular, is trying to solve the problems at a personal level.
Sure, by all means try to improve your life as an individual but also realize this:
The problems we are facing have societal and political roots and action to that direction is the only long term viable strategy. We have to organize and take political action, eveything else is half measures.
Yes, absolutely yes. You can try to make your house clean, but if anybody who walks by it throws shit on it, it will never become clean.
I agree, though I think it's important to be empowered knowing that change in the world starts with a change within you. Being proud and passionate about the changes you want made in the world has to start somewhere.
I don't agree with this - Obviously the world at large makes things easier or harder - But when you master yourself the world rarely gets in your way. This attitude of "the world is at fault ,there's nothing I Can really do to improve my life until teh world changes" is such a defeatest attitude that will prevent you from getting anywehre in life.
So I wouldn't argue there aren't bad things and situations in the world, but a man can achieve incredible things just by focusing on himself.
@@SchoolOfAttraction You can focus only on yourself and eventually get results, but it is called "egoism". And you can focus both on yourself and changing the world to be better for other men - like you do with the School of Attraction - and if more men will do something like this, the world would be easier =-)
@@SchoolOfAttraction I think you misunderstood me. I am not advocating for any "defeatist" attitude, quite the opposite.
What I am saying is that we shouldn't adopt half measures or complacent attitudes just because the situation is (still) OK for each of us as individuals when the society around us is demolished.
I am not advocating for men to "go their own way", I am advocating to grab the world by the horns - instead of being satisfied with breadcrumbs. That is what men have been historically doing.
Good to see a new perspective on things.. will read the recommended books
thanks dude , opened my eyes to a few things , ill be sure to check those books out , if i go by the attachment theory on here id say i started off secure , went to anxious, went to avoidant and bow im trying to find a way to get back to security , i dont know what fear is but id say i went through a period where i was too scared to say hi to a woman i found pretty . now i just struggle to find a connection. the few times i have i've found them to have partners, have other guys muscle in on my action, one time i got myself kicked out , women are everywhere, women you connect with are harder to find and im not socially adept enough to make her stick around , even if she does take notice in me. got a book for that? the game maybe? havent read it yet. i gather its pretty much being avoidant?
The game is largely avoidant thinking - often PUA stuff is a mix of avoidant and narcissistic behaviour patterning - BUT all that being said, if you're mindful to avoid that side of things, PUA material still has useful content, you jsut have to be aware enough to pick the good from the bad.
Try 'Sincere Seduction' - by Damien Diecke ;)
@@SchoolOfAttraction hahaha sounds legit
Great video. It would be awesome to see one just like this but on how to navigate and the good/bad psychology of open-relationships instead of specfically red-pill.
Thanks OpenSource - I just might do another video on the open relationship stuff soon
Healthy and positivity towards others....you will have a good life and keep a good grounded circle of friends
Healthy and positivity towards others....you will have a good life and keep a good grounded circle of friends finally learned after 37 years how to be friends with women
Never thought if it this way but it's a great explanation.
Cool video. Like the perspective.
I can highly recommend „The Tactical Guide to Women“ by S.T. Smith. The perspectives on women there also appear in men. But it gives good insights how things accelerate each other.
Cheers Roger, I'll check that out.
I don't really identify with the way you portray red pill guys, though admittedly I might not be the stereotypical case. Romantic trauma was not what lead me to the red pill because I was in a.. satisfactory relationship when I first learned about it. I wasn't hurt (WHO HURT YOU?) I just noticed many of the things that are taught in the red pill that had a lot of explanatory power about things I was noticing in my relationship.
So I don't have a big revenge boner about running dread game on some bitches because I think they deserve to suffer. Really I just want to know they type of animal I'm dealing with when dating women so I don't get played. And I simultaneously don't apologize for playing the game back the way women play it. Dread game sounds pretty nasty depending on how you phrase it and what your goals are, but quite frankly women have dread game already built into their game without having to even try. It's called being on social media, and male colleagues and friends. They have plausible deniability on their side when saying it's some innocuous relationship or friendship, but they can easily flip that into a romantic interest with one little inviting look if they wanted to. I mean half of all women in a relationship already have the back up guy in their life.
Also I'm not sure I agree that you shouldn't focus on the power balance in a relationship. I think it's very easy to hold up some dynamic as the ideal, and to marginalize people who don't practice what you preach as having an unhealthy mindset. But it's just been my experience that any relationship where a guy doesn't have the frame is not the type of relationship I aspire to have in any way shape or form. I don't even know what a 50/50 relationship is supposed to look like, so someone is always going to have the upper hand at any given time. And as far as I've seen women just don't handle having that upper hand well, however sexist and whatever pejorative that may be.
There's more things I disagree with but this comment is already way too long for most attention spans in the year 2020. But from my experience I see nothing particularly bad about the red pill. It's the way people use it and the intention behind it that counts. If you learn martial arts to go around and fuck people up you're kinda pathetic but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with martial arts.
Healthy and positivity towards others....you will have a good life and keep a good grounded circle of friends good stuf
good work brotha keep it up !!
I love your thoughts here but it feels like you may not have experienced not just rejection but actual cruelty from women.
Storytime: a long time ago in freshman year of high school, I had a crush on this girl in my speech and debate class. Well her and her evil henchmen decided it would be fun to have fun at my expense. So she pretended to like me one day....even went on a "date" with me. She gets me to write my number on a piece of paper. Me, being the hopeless romantic: had already written a love poem to her on a piece of paper and had it in my back pocket. I take it out, write my number on the paper. She writes her "number" on another paper.
Later on that week, I go and call "her" number just to chat (this was before everyone had a cell phone, still using landlines). And to my surprise it isn't her who picks up but her cackling hiennas she called friends. They then read that love poem out loud in a mocking fashion. I obviously was distraught and brought to tears (after hanging up the phone). Didn't feel like going back to school for a week.
A couple years later I find out that she did this to another guy after me: and that poor soul killed himself.
I know this was high school and people are most immature at that age. But I cannot help but think of stuff like that everytime I even try to get close to a woman: I'm terrified this is all one big ruse again. She can't "actually" love me, right?
I'm 34 now and things are different a bit. But I still struggle with dating all the same.
First of all bud - I want to say that's frigging disgustingly cruel and a horrible horrible thing for any human to have to go through - Before I say anything else I was to acknowledge that part.
Secondly - Men are capable of equal cruelty and do it all the time as well... If you think high school guys haven't played the game of 'pretend to like the girl' before, you'd definitely be wrong.
As someone who works with both men and women - I'm very exposed to all the horrible ways both genders hurt each other.
I believe there are ways the world is uniquely unfair to men - but it's also uniquely unfair to women in other ways. Feminists hate me when I say that it's not at all obvious who has it worse... Both genders generally don't have a good time of dating...
You know how you struggle to convince women how hard men have it? It's equally hard to convince many men how badly women have it... Neither better or worse - But just different kinds of suck.
The reason I dont' much like red-pill or feminism is that ultimately we as a society shoudl just call out crappy behaviour in general... Those high school girls were effing cruel and the same people who call them out for that abuse against you, should also be calling out guys who behavebadly. We shouldnt' need opposing groups fighting for individual genders (in my opinion)
I've always thought Jung's idea of the Shadow was insightful, but the problem is there doesn't seem to be any workbooks etc people could use in the same way that there are plenty of CBT workbooks for tackling things like social anxiety, phobias and depression. So if anyone has any recommendations for doing Shadow work at a practical level I for one would be interested in it. I mean, I'm curious about my own Shadow. Aren't you curious about yours?
On another note, while a secure attachment style is ideal, I suspect that for most people this will be like seeing a unicorn. The toxicity of the culture, the emotional and psychological trauma from their upbringing and general peer pressure mean that a secure attachment style can really only be achieved through serious prolonged effort just like being fit enough to run a marathon takes prolonged effort. Sadly, I suspect that just as running a marathon isn't important to millions of people so too there are millions of people out there that just don't want to even think about improving their attachment styles, which is certainly quite a conundrum for those unicorns out there that do have secure attachment styles. They must feel very lonely at times. If you are a securely attached individual you have my respect but also my pity because the behaviour you see in those around you must strike you as a form of madness and their inability to see their own madness may even make you doubt yourself. But hopefully, you can stay secure in yourself.
YES! I've been wanting to incorporate more shadow work into my coaching - But there is so little good literature around on it - nothing that's elegant and straight forward to work through.
And I agree, and perhaps I should have said more about that - being 100% securely attached is just a rainbow - we aim for it and, it helps guide our decisions and self-development, but you're never 100% there.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Perhaps Jordan Peterson might be able to help. He seems pretty clued up in Jung and he does have that future authoring program he keeps mentioning in some of his videos. Perhaps he's incorporated Jungian ideas into that because he's certainly keen on talking about them in his videos.
What future authoring program is that? I haen't heard of it
@@SchoolOfAttraction If you watch Jordan Peterson's videos on RUclips he talks off-handedly about his future authoring program in which he takes some of his students through writing down life goals etc. There might be some information about it on his university's website. Alternatively, his book The 12 Rules for life might explore the same ideas. In any case, his videos on the analysis of Pinnochio etc are highly entertaining. If you haven't watched anything of Jordan Peterson's stuff it might be interesting, especially if you want to see how Jung might fit in with what you do. He's also done videos that offer a deep analysis of the bible stories from a psychological perspective which you might find interesting because it's not about praising the lord so to speak but about how those stories really do tap into something fundamental in the human psyche just like Jung's notion of the Shadow encapsulates something fundamental in the human psyche, too
Cheers Paul Yeah I read 12 rules for life - it reminded me a bit of Iron John, in that it gets so stuck in allegory that it loses my interest a bit - so even thought there's great stuff in there, it idnt' make me feel compelled.
That being said Peterson's Map and Meaning is even more intensely allegorical.
I think it's important for men to value and love themselves first before actually even bothering dating. If you don't love and respect yourself forget about any woman doing the same for you. I think the positive side of the red pill is understanding that you have a burden of performance and a woman's love to you is never unconditional. The negative side seems to teach you to manipulate any woman in your life by using her insecurities against her. Don't get me wrong female entitlement is without a question laughably out of control. So it's easy to just say screw it I am going to get revenge against these "thots" But two wrongs dont make a right.
Hey Damian, what is that other attachment style that you chose not to talk about? Great content in this video.
On an other tangent, I don't think the spinning plates aspect has to be unhealthy. I think it may be beneficial for some men to date multiple women before they get serious with one because it keeps himself aware that he has options, and that he can voluntarily choose to slowly drop those plates or add more depending on what they do or don't like about some of those women.
In some respect I think it may be beneficial for some women as well. A woman knowing you have the CAPACITY to carefully choose your options let's her feel your full power as a man when you do enter a serious relationship with her. She may more easily relax into her feminine, and maybe even experience more gratitude to be in a relationship with you.
I think it becomes unhealthy when it's purly an obsession with power.
So the other attachment style is Fearful, which is both avoidant and highly anxious - if you google "fearful attachment style" you'll get good info on it.
Regarding spinning plates - outside of a relationships ABSOLUTEY! I think it's important for btoh men and women - but this isn't what spinning plates refers to as much as when you're already in a full time relationship you keep other women on the backburner to keep control - that's the unhealthy part of it, and some women and men do that as a control strategy.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I see, kinda like when a girl has "orbitors". A girl who has a lot of guy friends or followers entertained enough to anticipate the girl leaving their relationship to eventually take their place.
Does anyone else see the whole Blue vs Red Pill movement as still part of a dichotomy with someone else controlling the outcome and opt for NO PILL?
100%
I'd like to STRONGLY recommend "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" as a complementary material for NMMNG. While the former goes deep into why you may be such a pushover, the latter provides actual techniques to overcome guilt and any manipulation attempt thrown at you by any person which are POWERFUL as F. I consider WISNIFG one of the most life changing books I've ever read, even more than NMMNG.
I'm NEVER heard of this book Gabriel - I'll grab a copy and have a read
@@SchoolOfAttraction Sir can ou explain to me something thats being tormenting me for years you see. Everthing in the porn world is contraty to the real world. Mike Adriano look him up so he gets to ve sex with the hottest american women and women ingenral doing all sorts of perverted acts with them and the women love everysecond of it. The gu looks like shit explain that ?
@@christ34fjThe women are getting paid and being made celebrities for it. To them he's a man of status
@@Ash_Wen-li That doent explain it fully celebrites of what getting fucked by ugly guys on camera where is there slut alarm for tease porn women. Eevn escoerts have more standards than porn women. Regular l girls alwas so touchy feely about being seen as a slut but thease porn womwn don't give a dam in fact they are happy to be seen online by millions ? I do'nt get it ?!!!
@@Ash_Wen-li Even if the guy is hot in porn thet are stil exposing themselves to millions on camera doing sexual things. Where can Thease nympohos be found for us non porn regualr guys ?? Alot of girls I run into are overly prude even if you get them in bed alot dont peform like pornstars or sexually freaky.
Are you sure Carl Jungs book you refere to is called shadow work?
There isn't a Jung book specifically called "shadow work" But Carl Jung did first coin the idea of the Ego and the Shadow - and working on the shadow came to be called Shadow Work.
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