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As an American, I can confirm that that our cops have access to rocket launchers, tanks, and guided missile cruisers. Only one of those items is false. The answer may surprise you!
@@jacknapier8201 You guessed rocket launchers, but you guessed wrong. I said rocket launchers, and I meant it. They do not have rocket launchers (they do have grenade launchers yeah), but they skipped the escalation straight to tanks and cruisers.
Between being Rick rolled and "ass pocket" that made me evision stupid sexy Flanders, I can't imagine the amount of drugs it takes to sit through this movie without crying
I don't understand why, but in the 90's, it became a thing where they took big, over-muscled, guys, and stuck them with children, over, and over, and over again. And in EACH of these movies, they blew their entire budget on the big-muscled celebrity, and then told the writers to write a script, giving them all just a couple of days because they couldn't afford them for longer. Now add to the problem that you can tell that these movies weren't written as a linear story. It's blatantly obvious. The way these movies were written was that each writer came up with a goofy scene. "Wouldn't it be cool if the bad guys are escaping in a truck, and the muscle guy ties a rope to it and stops it from moving?", "What if we have the muscle guy fighting a bad guy in a tower, and there's this animatronic Santa up there who grabs the muscle guy and tosses him into a stinky garbage truck!", "How about we have the muscle guy sitting down eating food with the kids, and the kids feed him gross stuff, causing him to fart constantly!". They'll just write all these random scenes as fast as they can with no thought put into them. Then, some poor guy will be given a day (Again.. they can't afford longer.), to somehow glue all these little snippet scenes that all these unrelated people have written, with no idea what anyone else was writing, into a coherent script like taking multiple jigsaw puzzles, dumping them out, and being forced to cram all the pieces together into ONE thing. And on top of that, this process is going on DURING THE FILMING!!!! This is why so many of these damn movies make no sense most of the time with all these random scenes, that make no sense, that all seem like they belong in different movies. There's so many examples of this type of film writing.
@@crowdemon_archives More like having an RP session where each of the players creates some scenes involving his character, hands it to the DM, and then they expect the DM to make a coherent adventure out of it by the time they meet that night.
And do you know than both Mila Kunis and Brenda Song had a relation whit Macaulay Culkin? The world is even smaller P.s. Song and Culkin are still togheter
As someone who lives in California, I can guarantee that that building would have gone up like a roman candle long before then. There's a reason very few houses here have basements.
I watch Santa With Muscles every year. It's ridiculous, poorly written, and poorly acted but it doesn't take itself too seriously and it's dumb fun. After this year we could asll use some dumb fun. I highly recommend this movie. Just understand what you're going into beforehand.
And, the generic evil doctor guy is played by the dude who voiced Alistair in Dragon Age. Being in this film was apparently a good career move for lots of folks.
I think the part about him fighting his employees is supposed to be a reference to Inspector Clouseau's assistant Cato, who would randomly attack to "keep him on his toes." Doesn't stop that from being a much better movie than this piece of twaddle.
I run paintball events and for some reason in like every fucking movie they break the ONE rule that is universal in all Paintball games, WEAR A FUCKING MASK! Seriously, at any Paintball Field, Tournament Event or anytime playing Paintball, if you don't wear a mask when there are Markers with no Barrel Socks, EVERYONe will yell MASK MASK MASK MASK at you till you put it on or get back in the safe area. You should watch a Speedball event whena player loses their mask, the refs literally dive on them like a weird sort of "Stacks On", only they literally are stacked on their head (there are vids online of this it's hilarious to watch) and they won't get off the player till their face is covered by a mask, at the same time they get all other players to stop playing and it's "Markers Down", Marker btw is the proper name for a Paintball Gun, and Markers down means all players must put their markers on the ground and step at least 2 steps away from it. Sorry for tangent but it's like Cmon... CMON!!! It's like watching a Basketball game and they pull out a Spiked Metal Ball to replace the Basketball. Anyway great video unless you got another one to sneak in before the end of the year, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
@@gracekim25 My issue is, you remember the movie The Fast and the Furious? In one of the scenes the bad guy gets onto a motorbike and in the original cut, they had him just get on and ride of. BUT they were told by their lawyers, he had to wear a helmet coz they had to make sure kids don't emulate them and not wear theri helmet when riding on a motorbike. So the scene had to be reshot with him putting on a helmet. Now I'm not saying there are no movies with people on motorbikes with no helmet, but generally speaking they do put on a helmet coz "you gotta set an example". Yet when Paintball is shown in Movie, TV Shows, Adverts, etc, they are like, nah, it's fine. It's like FFS, a pro player only 3 years ago, got shot under his mask and spent three weeks blinded with doctors saying they had no idea is he would ever see again. It lead to new rules in Paintball where Chin Straps became mandatory to help prevent future incidents as that is what your playing with, a Paintball is going up to 300FPS, it can easily blind you for the rest of your life. Sorry again for rant, but I just dont understand why movies will go out of their way to show Helmets and Arm/Shoulder Guards when a kid is on a skateboard, but Paintball, eh, let's just show the easiest way to be blinded for life.
@@munchmandrifta For the same reason why movies portray video games as primitive beeps and boops or if they show a PS4 you can tell no one is playing because no light. These directors and producers don't understand it so they don't try to portray it accurately. Why should they? It's a soft ball filled with paint right? Not realizing in reality that these soft balls are moving fast enough to bruise a person, or even leave welts. A hit to the softer tissues could be traumatic and life altering. But why bother, it's just a silly game right?
I hear ya on the paintball. My friend Ryan used to do it a ton. The one day they were playing and he was squatted behind a table. He took his mask off for a second to adjust something, and turned around when he heard something behind him. Our friend John, accidentally, shot him directly in the eye. He didn't have any permanent damage but it was close and was black and blue for a month. It looked brutal
Funny enough if you take away the excessive commercialism, then the other two annoying things you hate about Christmas will go away as well. I personally still love Christmas, but I definitely hate those things you mention, honestly, most Christmas songs I listen to now are the ones that mostly make fun/mention the annoyance/pains of the holidays like Blink 182's Not Another Christmas Song.
This Christmas by Donny Hathaway and Little Saint Nick are also good enough to listen to year-round. And Christmas by Jesu but, that doesn't get radio play lmao
Seeing Donna's father and Jackie of 'That '70s Show' IN THE SAME FILM makes me wonder if the characters here are alternative universe versions of them both?
I will say, bless you for not doing Saving Christmas. That movie doesn't deserve anymore attention. At least Santa With Muscles doesnt make me angry, looks like it actually has a budget, and has the underrated Clint Howard carrying this movie
When you said that Clayton reveals he and Mr. Frost were raised in the orphanage and pointed to the photo, I was very confused because I was like ''wow that's a huge screw-up with the prop department, both those kids are white.'' I had to rewatch that part to get it lol
I used to actually like watching this movie back when I was a kid. Family Channel Canada would air it and I would watch the film and be entertained by the silliness going on in the film. I didn't care that it was bad... I just wanted to see Santa kick some butt! This review really brought back some childhood memories of seeing this awful movie!
I am here for this, but listen, I don't care how many people have already torn "Saving" Christmas a new one - it ALWAYS needs another new one. It's fucking awful and deserves allllllllll the mocking it gets and then some.
Don't you just love how Hollywood tried to make Hulk Hogan a Nanny, Santa and save a Theme Park (sort of) all of them failed, so they were like, hey let's do it again, but this time with the Rock, John Cena and Vin Diesel (i know he's not a Wrestler but still a tough guy so close enough) and it still fails, yet they still fucking do it... Okay maybe it's just me being angry coz they rejected my scripts, but still... WTF Hollywood!4
@@papersmoke3441 Yeah i was only saying Vin Disel wasn't a wrestler, I said two wrestlers and then a tough guy movie actor, and wanted to be clear coz well, I thought someone would comment the other way and say. "ACKTUALLY Vin Diesel was a Break Dancer, NOT a Wrestler, check your facts next time". (note look up Vin Diesel Break Dancing, it's great).
I feel sorry for Garrett Morris for being in this trash. The guy has so much talent as a comedic actor and he's also an amazing singer (both soul and opera). He deserves so much better.
Yes, 2020 has been a year for the record books. But watching Cynical Reviews is always a joy. Thank you for making the Season Bright and Merry Christmas Everyone!!! 🎁
Oh boy... I work at a grocery store: I'm so full of Christmas songs that it's seeping from my ears, nose and probably other orifices. Also I'm so upset about this frantic panic buying on top of the normal holiday consumerism that I won't shed a single tear when people will inevitably cry about how broke they are in January(yeah, it's cold, I know, but it happens every single year, and I no longer give a shit anyway!) Although seeing Hulk's abysmal acting is kinda nostalgic, and if you're up to it sometimes you definitely should rip Mr. Nanny one day! Merry Christmas!🎅
Ffs. Scarlett Johansen played a robot body designed to look Russian that had a japanese girl's mind uploaded into it. But you know, we can't have interesting cyberpunk concepts because they're 'racist'.
@RED RED Its a little thing called 'science-fiction'. Its where you speculate about the way things could happen, and craft it into interesting stories that provoke questions in the viewer like 'what is the nature of humanity' and 'where does man end and machine begin'. Or if you are creatively bankrupt and have a stunted imagination, you just look at surface details until you find one that 'offends' you, and then start an online petition.
Damn CJ, I’m disappointed that you didn’t call out the orphanage lady for letting young children use catacombs for a CLUB HOUSE! Nah but seriously merry Christmas and Happy New Year thanks for the content
Not trying to defend the film but the fighting probably isn’t the best cause Hogan is the only one trained in fight choreography, since a lot of wrestling needs both parties to roll with each others punches and no one else in the film looks to have much knowledge in the area and if wrestling fights go wrong people can get very badly hurt and even die, so maybe it was better to just do the crap they did than potentially let one of the cast get hurt because they didn’t doge at the right time
Great review CJ. A nice way to end a terrible year. You are absolutely right in saying Hollywood needs to stop putting celebrities in movies because they are popular in another field of entertainment.
These types of Christmas movies is why I support The sound of music a Chirstmas movie. So that way we have some sort of break between "lady-finds-guy-in-most-cheeasy-way" and the same good movies from 1965-ish.
The actor who played the elf/thief/unfunny sidekick in this movie was also Bob (Donna’s dad and the Formans’ next door neighbor) in That 70’s Show. Just thought I’d point that out since Mika Kunis was also in this movie and on that show.
Listen here. The Grumpy Cat Christmas Movie is the best Christmas movie out there and I will die on this fucking hill. Idc what you rally it with, it will always win. No questions asked.
One of the two adults who are running the orphanage, is Garret Morris. He was one of the original stars of "Saturday Night Live". It is sad to see a brilliant comic like Morris in a piece of schlock like this.
![AFTER - A Painfully Awful and Creepy Harry Styles Fanfic [See Description]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/gXt7rcFEg1o/mqdefault.jpg)
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*You could be watching Rapsittie Street Kids*
Ya sound out of breath this whole video. You okay?
You have to question why they would make these videos.
As an American, I can confirm that that our cops have access to rocket launchers, tanks, and guided missile cruisers. Only one of those items is false. The answer may surprise you!
Oof
Don't forget the provision that states they have access to that type of equipment as long as they use it once a year.
My city of 200,000 peoples police department has a APC with a 20mm autogun. Why? Because American police I guess.
Grenade launchers are not rocket launchers.
@@jacknapier8201 You guessed rocket launchers, but you guessed wrong. I said rocket launchers, and I meant it. They do not have rocket launchers (they do have grenade launchers yeah), but they skipped the escalation straight to tanks and cruisers.
Between being Rick rolled and "ass pocket" that made me evision stupid sexy Flanders, I can't imagine the amount of drugs it takes to sit through this movie without crying
It's doable if you're still developing taste.
@@soldatdaniels8738 but what effect will that have on your tastes? Not worth it.
I never thought I would read out the words “stupid sexy Flanders” but it’s 2020 so anything can happen 🥲
@@supercalifragilistaphobic2146 first one then the other
Both
This should have been titled Hulk Hogan's Horrible Holiday movie lmao.
*Hmovie
Hulk Hogan's Horrible Holiday Hullaballoo?
Macho Man Randy Savage made a diss track toward Hulk Hogan. He said how his role as Bonesaw in Spider Man was better than Hulk Hogan’s film career.
damn
Well he's not wrong.
@@CynicalReviews With the exception of his cameo in Gremlins 2, and maybe Rocky 4, I can't think of any good films The Hulkster has been in.
So... Would it be bad if bonesaw got his own movie? I'm just imagining dbz Hercule lying his way through civil war 2...
Epic
I member the good old days...when this was Nr.1 at the Bottom of IMDB
How naïve we were to think that such movies would be the worst ever
Oh. Be careful. Such remenising can lead to bad policy.
Then we watched the happening
@@mojojojo4865 Birdemic: Shock and Terror
Then Cats happened.
I don't understand why, but in the 90's, it became a thing where they took big, over-muscled, guys, and stuck them with children, over, and over, and over again. And in EACH of these movies, they blew their entire budget on the big-muscled celebrity, and then told the writers to write a script, giving them all just a couple of days because they couldn't afford them for longer. Now add to the problem that you can tell that these movies weren't written as a linear story. It's blatantly obvious. The way these movies were written was that each writer came up with a goofy scene. "Wouldn't it be cool if the bad guys are escaping in a truck, and the muscle guy ties a rope to it and stops it from moving?", "What if we have the muscle guy fighting a bad guy in a tower, and there's this animatronic Santa up there who grabs the muscle guy and tosses him into a stinky garbage truck!", "How about we have the muscle guy sitting down eating food with the kids, and the kids feed him gross stuff, causing him to fart constantly!". They'll just write all these random scenes as fast as they can with no thought put into them. Then, some poor guy will be given a day (Again.. they can't afford longer.), to somehow glue all these little snippet scenes that all these unrelated people have written, with no idea what anyone else was writing, into a coherent script like taking multiple jigsaw puzzles, dumping them out, and being forced to cram all the pieces together into ONE thing. And on top of that, this process is going on DURING THE FILMING!!!! This is why so many of these damn movies make no sense most of the time with all these random scenes, that make no sense, that all seem like they belong in different movies. There's so many examples of this type of film writing.
So, basically a plotless RP session
@@crowdemon_archives so basically that and RWBY with its fight scenes
@@crowdemon_archives More like having an RP session where each of the players creates some scenes involving his character, hands it to the DM, and then they expect the DM to make a coherent adventure out of it by the time they meet that night.
Lmao you’re so right
It did not stop in the 90s though.
Ever heard of "Playing with Fire", starring John Cena? That one was made in 2019.
I had a fever dream where Hulk Hogans pasta shop was still open and I was involved in a money laundering scheme. This film gives me similar vibes
And if your dream became a movie it would be better than this
the rival pasta store was run by a mafia
Better than this shit...
I miss when Movies were THIS type of Bad, nothing Too complex just Silly
me too.
Yeah now its just love and more black Christmas movies
Old stupid was fun and had energy to it. New stupid is just bland
You didn't mention that Lenny is played by Don Stark, who was also in That 70's Show with Mila Kunis. Makes it an even smaller world.
I was hoping he'd mention it too. He was funnier in the show for sure. Not like consistently funny, but funnier
Oh fuck... HE PLAYED BOB
@@rg1124nov This movie shows why it was a good thing his role was so small on that show. A little of Bob goes a long way.
And do you know than both Mila Kunis and Brenda Song had a relation whit Macaulay Culkin? The world is even smaller
P.s. Song and Culkin are still togheter
Not to mention Jennifer Paz is in this to as the news reporter.
“Pulls out a rocket launcher?! I know this is America but come on!” I see you’ve never been to America huh?
What did he think stimulus checks meant?
As someone who lives in California, I can guarantee that that building would have gone up like a roman candle long before then. There's a reason very few houses here have basements.
“Silence smooth brains, and get yourself educate” - CJ 2020
I watch Santa With Muscles every year. It's ridiculous, poorly written, and poorly acted but it doesn't take itself too seriously and it's dumb fun. After this year we could asll use some dumb fun. I highly recommend this movie. Just understand what you're going into beforehand.
If I wanted to watch a Christmas movie that has a pro-wrestler playing a muscular Santa Claus, I'd watch "Santa's Slay".
That just gave me Dead Meat flashbacks
this!
Who was that? Goldberg?
@@berserkerciaran yes
@@daniboy4153 same
Christmas is the time of year when we celebrate Hulk Hogan destroying Gawker and saving mankind
One of the few times Hogan actually was the good guy.
For every good Christmas movie, there’s thousands of bad ones
So, Hallmark Channel’s entire line of Christmas romance movies?
Pretty much
Die Hard, Batman Returns, The first The Santa Clause, The Peanuts Special and uhhhh... yeah there are prolly two more somewhere.
Late reply, but my mother absolutely adores those movies. It gets a groan out of our entire family every year she watches them.
And, the generic evil doctor guy is played by the dude who voiced Alistair in Dragon Age. Being in this film was apparently a good career move for lots of folks.
That's very interesting. I love DA:O. All the VA in that game is top notch.
Have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?
He was also one of the assistant coroners on "Crossing Jordan" opposite future Oscar-winner Mahershala Ali. He did a decent job on it, too.
05:17 - That would be actress Hayley Atwell at the 2017 bfi London film festival.
(Agent Carter for MCU fans.)
You're welcome.
:)
I think the part about him fighting his employees is supposed to be a reference to Inspector Clouseau's assistant Cato, who would randomly attack to "keep him on his toes." Doesn't stop that from being a much better movie than this piece of twaddle.
He indeed knows if your naughty or nice
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
@Tw1st3dG4m3r how did you know
Whenever tosspot makes an appearance people listen lol
@@viscountrainbows6452 'cause he coming tonight
"Holds them hostage with a...ruler?"
No, that's a T-square.
Hogan makes The Rock look like Orson Welles and John Cena, Daniel Day Lewis.
Well, Dwayne knows how to act and John Cena is credible as an action movie star: Hulk can't even do both!
I run paintball events and for some reason in like every fucking movie they break the ONE rule that is universal in all Paintball games, WEAR A FUCKING MASK!
Seriously, at any Paintball Field, Tournament Event or anytime playing Paintball, if you don't wear a mask when there are Markers with no Barrel Socks, EVERYONe will yell MASK MASK MASK MASK at you till you put it on or get back in the safe area.
You should watch a Speedball event whena player loses their mask, the refs literally dive on them like a weird sort of "Stacks On", only they literally are stacked on their head (there are vids online of this it's hilarious to watch) and they won't get off the player till their face is covered by a mask, at the same time they get all other players to stop playing and it's "Markers Down", Marker btw is the proper name for a Paintball Gun, and Markers down means all players must put their markers on the ground and step at least 2 steps away from it.
Sorry for tangent but it's like Cmon... CMON!!! It's like watching a Basketball game and they pull out a Spiked Metal Ball to replace the Basketball.
Anyway great video unless you got another one to sneak in before the end of the year, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Thank you very much for that mental image
Wow so movies are super inaccurate
@@gracekim25
My issue is, you remember the movie The Fast and the Furious?
In one of the scenes the bad guy gets onto a motorbike and in the original cut, they had him just get on and ride of.
BUT they were told by their lawyers, he had to wear a helmet coz they had to make sure kids don't emulate them and not wear theri helmet when riding on a motorbike.
So the scene had to be reshot with him putting on a helmet.
Now I'm not saying there are no movies with people on motorbikes with no helmet, but generally speaking they do put on a helmet coz "you gotta set an example".
Yet when Paintball is shown in Movie, TV Shows, Adverts, etc, they are like, nah, it's fine.
It's like FFS, a pro player only 3 years ago, got shot under his mask and spent three weeks blinded with doctors saying they had no idea is he would ever see again.
It lead to new rules in Paintball where Chin Straps became mandatory to help prevent future incidents as that is what your playing with, a Paintball is going up to 300FPS, it can easily blind you for the rest of your life.
Sorry again for rant, but I just dont understand why movies will go out of their way to show Helmets and Arm/Shoulder Guards when a kid is on a skateboard, but Paintball, eh, let's just show the easiest way to be blinded for life.
@@munchmandrifta For the same reason why movies portray video games as primitive beeps and boops or if they show a PS4 you can tell no one is playing because no light. These directors and producers don't understand it so they don't try to portray it accurately.
Why should they? It's a soft ball filled with paint right? Not realizing in reality that these soft balls are moving fast enough to bruise a person, or even leave welts. A hit to the softer tissues could be traumatic and life altering. But why bother, it's just a silly game right?
I hear ya on the paintball. My friend Ryan used to do it a ton. The one day they were playing and he was squatted behind a table. He took his mask off for a second to adjust something, and turned around when he heard something behind him. Our friend John, accidentally, shot him directly in the eye. He didn't have any permanent damage but it was close and was black and blue for a month. It looked brutal
The "big rulers" are T-squares. Used to draw straight lines on a drafting table. Thank you, high school drafting class.
“He beats up the math nerds and saves the orphans” sounds like a weird tag line for a crappy superhero movie/high school drama hybrid
Funny enough if you take away the excessive commercialism, then the other two annoying things you hate about Christmas will go away as well. I personally still love Christmas, but I definitely hate those things you mention, honestly, most Christmas songs I listen to now are the ones that mostly make fun/mention the annoyance/pains of the holidays like Blink 182's Not Another Christmas Song.
This Christmas by Donny Hathaway and Little Saint Nick are also good enough to listen to year-round. And Christmas by Jesu but, that doesn't get radio play lmao
Father Christmas by the Kinks is my favorite
That old women wasn't sleeping she was dead. You called a dead women a tart. You monster!
Wait really? She was actually dead???
@@ezrastardust3124 :)
Seeing Donna's father and Jackie of 'That '70s Show' IN THE SAME FILM makes me wonder if the characters here are alternative universe versions of them both?
Among others.
Hulk Hogan will always have a special place in my heart for bringing about the end of Gawker, even if it was indirectly
It was pretty directly.
Brutus Beefcake was the guy that played the Asian bodyguard. He's Hogan's buddy in real life.
I will say, bless you for not doing Saving Christmas. That movie doesn't deserve anymore attention. At least Santa With Muscles doesnt make me angry, looks like it actually has a budget, and has the underrated Clint Howard carrying this movie
I'm using that woman's "Oh, the catacombs" tone whenever someone asks me a question that has a clearly interesting answer.
"It can’t get any worse…right?"
Oh no, you’ve jinxed it!
0:20 is the textbook image for the definition of seasonal depression.
Well this Christmas movie certainly tried to be kinda sorta unique. I wasn’t expecting the crystal subplot.
That Durex Joke was golden.
I unironically enjoy the Grumpy Cat Christmas Movie.
It's so stupid, I love it.
When you said that Clayton reveals he and Mr. Frost were raised in the orphanage and pointed to the photo, I was very confused because I was like ''wow that's a huge screw-up with the prop department, both those kids are white.'' I had to rewatch that part to get it lol
I used to actually like watching this movie back when I was a kid. Family Channel Canada would air it and I would watch the film and be entertained by the silliness going on in the film. I didn't care that it was bad... I just wanted to see Santa kick some butt! This review really brought back some childhood memories of seeing this awful movie!
Hey man, I had a blast watching the review, it's pretty funny to see how ridiculous and cheesy movies where in the 90s.
The "paying people to fight you" bit, might be a Peter Sellers' Clouseau reference. Which would have been supremely dated, even in the 90s🤦🏻♀️
Hell yeah, I love your reviews
Thanks!
4:08 Thank you for referencing Klaus, one of the best kids Christmas movie that have come out in the last 10 years.
Odd. Because I only aware that there were two Hulk Hogan films.
I am here for this, but listen, I don't care how many people have already torn "Saving" Christmas a new one - it ALWAYS needs another new one. It's fucking awful and deserves allllllllll the mocking it gets and then some.
13:10 Also, no matter how strong Hulk Hogan is, he wouldn't weigh enough to stop a truck.
Bob Pinciotti and Jackie in the same bad Christmas movie? Awesome.
Don't you just love how Hollywood tried to make Hulk Hogan a Nanny, Santa and save a Theme Park (sort of) all of them failed, so they were like, hey let's do it again, but this time with the Rock, John Cena and Vin Diesel (i know he's not a Wrestler but still a tough guy so close enough) and it still fails, yet they still fucking do it... Okay maybe it's just me being angry coz they rejected my scripts, but still... WTF Hollywood!4
the rock used to be a wrestler so your point still counts, and I agree
@@papersmoke3441 So was John Cena. I'm pretty sure he was just talking about Vin Diesel not being a wrestler.
@@papersmoke3441 Yeah i was only saying Vin Disel wasn't a wrestler, I said two wrestlers and then a tough guy movie actor, and wanted to be clear coz well, I thought someone would comment the other way and say.
"ACKTUALLY Vin Diesel was a Break Dancer, NOT a Wrestler, check your facts next time".
(note look up Vin Diesel Break Dancing, it's great).
11:55 I actually LOL'd at "Watch out, he's got a candy cane!" It's probably the best line in the whole picture.
Merry Christmas boo boo! Love yah. Hope your family is well and healthy. Looking forward to another year of hilarious videos.
Suburban Commander needs to be reviewed next!
I feel sorry for Garrett Morris for being in this trash. The guy has so much talent as a comedic actor and he's also an amazing singer (both soul and opera). He deserves so much better.
Yes, 2020 has been a year for the record books. But watching Cynical Reviews is always a joy. Thank you for making the Season Bright and Merry Christmas Everyone!!! 🎁
You had me at Emilia Clark sitting on your face!!!!!!! Holy crap! The actor playing the elf sidekick played Bob on That 70's Show.
Oh boy...
I work at a grocery store: I'm so full of Christmas songs that it's seeping from my ears, nose and probably other orifices. Also I'm so upset about this frantic panic buying on top of the normal holiday consumerism that I won't shed a single tear when people will inevitably cry about how broke they are in January(yeah, it's cold, I know, but it happens every single year, and I no longer give a shit anyway!)
Although seeing Hulk's abysmal acting is kinda nostalgic, and if you're up to it sometimes you definitely should rip Mr. Nanny one day!
Merry Christmas!🎅
Anyone else suddenly remember how much they miss Noah “Spoony” Antwiler? Or is it just me?
Cynical Reviews: There's a lot I don't like about Christmas.
Mauler: Begins foaming at the mouth.
If grumpy had a face, it'd be you CJ.
Merry Christmas man. May the new year be a blessed one for you!
There's a movie called Mortal Engines can you ples do it
Oh yesss, CJ would have a blast doing that! xD
Dude you need to review After We Collided.
Anybody remember Spoony? Just me? k.
Whatever you think about Tooth Fairy, Dwayne Johnson is in general a decent action movie actor. He's even done some pretty good comedy.
"They can't get any worse" is that line on movies before all heck breaks loose. Merry xmas!
I'd still watch this over yet another Hallmark movie...
I had to triple (h) take that thumbnail to confirm it was HELL YEAH BROTHER dude.
I don't know why, but I laughed like a madman when Hulk Hogan fell out of the tower and into the garbage truck.
5:17 who is that? scientific purposes, you know...
If the villain's called Mr Frost then let me guess. His first name's Jack. Real original there Santa With Muscles.
That Durex joke was a gem that no one is talking about
🎁🎅🏻MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS🎅🏻🎁
Oh yay. Another “Santa gets amnesia” movie.
Just what I wanted.
Quite the cliche in Christmas films isn't it? "Character dressed as Santa hits their head and loses their memory making them think they are Santa."
Ok, but who would say you did a bad job to the guy who could probably snap anyone's spine in a few seconds.
Ffs. Scarlett Johansen played a robot body designed to look Russian that had a japanese girl's mind uploaded into it. But you know, we can't have interesting cyberpunk concepts because they're 'racist'.
@RED RED Its a little thing called 'science-fiction'. Its where you speculate about the way things could happen, and craft it into interesting stories that provoke questions in the viewer like 'what is the nature of humanity' and 'where does man end and machine begin'.
Or if you are creatively bankrupt and have a stunted imagination, you just look at surface details until you find one that 'offends' you, and then start an online petition.
We need an Anti-Christmas!
where krampus takes presents.
Samtsirhc... Krampus's Revenge 2 Electric Boogaloo.
Wow, two That 70's Show alumns in this
You'd think pro wrestlers would be better actors.
Some are. Hogan definitively isn't.
Dave Bautista is a really good actor.
@@michaelsinger4638 it doesn't take much effort to "act like a lunatic", even if it is required for the job.
The Muppets Christmas Carol will always be my favourite christmas movie.
"Ass pocket"? You mean one's "prison wallet"?
Lenny is played by Don Stark who would later co-star again on with Mila Kunis as Bob on That 70’s Show
Damn CJ, I’m disappointed that you didn’t call out the orphanage lady for letting young children use catacombs for a CLUB HOUSE! Nah but seriously merry Christmas and Happy New Year thanks for the content
Not trying to defend the film but the fighting probably isn’t the best cause Hogan is the only one trained in fight choreography, since a lot of wrestling needs both parties to roll with each others punches and no one else in the film looks to have much knowledge in the area and if wrestling fights go wrong people can get very badly hurt and even die, so maybe it was better to just do the crap they did than potentially let one of the cast get hurt because they didn’t doge at the right time
*"Get yourself educate"*
This movie is a postmodernist masterpiece & I will accept no criticisms. I will watch anything with Cliff Howard in it
After rendering Dough Walker irrepably insane... okay I lost it xD
How dare you try and ruin the magic of Santa with Muscles
this was ho ho horrible.
That first facecam shot.... I feel that, dude. I feel that.
There a surprising amount of B actors that I recognize from this
With that hat and stubble, you look like British Rich Evans
CJ, are you still doing Heavy rain this weekend or on Christmas?
Probably this weekend, but we'll see.
Great review CJ. A nice way to end a terrible year. You are absolutely right in saying Hollywood needs to stop putting celebrities in movies because they are popular in another field of entertainment.
0:47 Jingle Jangle may not be a perfect movie, but it's far from "bland and forgettable".
These types of Christmas movies is why I support The sound of music a Chirstmas movie.
So that way we have some sort of break between "lady-finds-guy-in-most-cheeasy-way" and the same good movies from 1965-ish.
The actor who played the elf/thief/unfunny sidekick in this movie was also Bob (Donna’s dad and the Formans’ next door neighbor) in That 70’s Show. Just thought I’d point that out since Mika Kunis was also in this movie and on that show.
I loved this movie when i was a kid and watched the hell out of it
that 'look' at the very beginning of the video, pretty much says it all.... 💞
Listen here. The Grumpy Cat Christmas Movie is the best Christmas movie out there and I will die on this fucking hill. Idc what you rally it with, it will always win. No questions asked.
How _dare_ Cynical make fun of The Christmas Chronicles?! It was pretty fun to see him shaking his ass around, though.
One of the two adults who are running the orphanage, is Garret Morris. He was one of the original stars of "Saturday Night Live". It is sad to see a brilliant comic like Morris in a piece of schlock like this.
He was better in the two Black Scorpion movies and the Jamie Fox Show.