Mental Health, Suicide, & the Power of Community | Haley DeGreve | TEDxYouth@Davenport
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- Опубликовано: 11 апр 2022
- In today's world, mental health and suicide prevention must become a top priority. As suicide is a leading cause of death in Americans, it's also the most preventable. How do we even begin to make a difference? With the right tools and resources, the power of community can help heal our broken world, one person at a time. It starts right here. It starts with you. Haley DeGreve is a John Deere Communications Specialist and 2020 graduate of Augustana College. Throughout her education, she was inspired to start a mental health awareness and suicide prevention non-profit called The Gray Matters Collective in 2018. The collective became a movement filled with hope, support, and healing for thousands - becoming a nationally recognized movement through the University of Michigan Depression Center. Since she began mental health advocacy in 2018, she’s spoken at many local schools, events, and workplaces to advocate against mental health stigma and educate crisis intervention. As current president and founder of The Gray Matters Collective, she hopes to change the world, one person at a time. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Even the brightest glow sticks have to break first to shine! ❤
i just recently went through a moment of thinking about taking my own life. i stood in my bathroom with a handful of pills in my hand. in my mind i thought my wife kids and family would be so much better without me. like no matter what i did i failed. failed as a husband as a father an as son and brother. the pain would never go away. that ending it all would be a quick and easy fix. as i was standing there with those pills in my hand(my wife was banging on our bedroom door cause i locked the door, screaming my name to please open the door) but i couldnt hear her voice. everything was silent. only thought was i dont want to hurt anymore. sec later i finally hear a sound and it is my daughters voice like it was echoing in my head, "daddy i love you" then came my 2 boys voices saying the same thing. their faces popped up in my head one by one. an it was like i could see again and relised what i was holding and what i was thinking about doing. i looked up into the mirror and i was balling tears down my face. didnt even know i was crying. that is one of the scarest moments of my life. when i relised that i wouldnt see those 3 beautiful faces anymore and it was going to be because of something i did. i never want to have that feeling anymore in my life. and since then i have been talking more to my wife and kids about my problems. thanks for listening.
I'm so glad you are still here. Thank you for sharing your story -- keep sharing. Your story could become a survival guide for someone else. Keep going.
I’m also so thankful you are still here!! Your wife & children need you more than you know. ❤
I hope you are doing better. Pls reach out if you need help. You are did not mess up. You are a beautiful person and this world is better with you in it
Well done. I'm so glad you decided to stay with us. We would have missed you very much.
"Our brains are literally more resilient when we're together." Wow! Very inspiring.
I've found myself thinking about a friend of mine named Butch who once asked me about getting a gun from me I went to his house with my unloaded .357.
I showed him the gun and said "I can't give this to you without knowing why you asked me for it."
He told me and I confronted the person he had the issue with him and to all appearances they never had another problem, I didn't give him the gun.
Then about five months later we me some of our friends and him were at his house drinking.
He said something about a game and went in the house coming out with a gun and said let's play russian roulette.
I got up and started walking toward totally unsure exactly how to get it out of his hand.
I was about six foot away when I said you know the rule the one you ask plays first.
He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.
I lost one of my best friends that night and I thank God I wasn't the one that gave him the gun.
Me and his father helped each other
Through the days that followed by talking about it.
I'll see you when I get there my friend.
This was extremely moving, as someone who is currently working through a crisis. Thank you so much for this ❤
A truly beautiful woman. The world is a better place with her in it!
Thank you for your story 🙏 ❤️
Hearing this, made me cry
It's great that she got the help that she needed and people rallied up for her, but it's not as simple as asking for help Or having a good intention to help. I have tried many therapy sessions, spoken to my friends but ultimately it lead no where, I can explain why that is but this comment will get a lot longer. My point is
People's life's are complex and long term support is draining on people even with the best of intentions, there are so many factors at play where it all boils down to you or the person you are trying to help.
In the long run for cases where providing support gets exhausting is the thing we need to come up with some solution, or " Every life matters " Will always be just a phrase.
I agree with you! It was extremely hard to try to encompass all that into less than 15 minutes. The TED coaches kept encouraging me to simplify, but to your point, this is such a complex issue.
I’m so sorry for the experiences you’ve had. Asking for help isn’t easy and it often doesn’t work out the way we’d like. I feel fortunate enough that I had good people around me, but I 100% recognize not everyone does. And I know everyone’s circumstances are different.
I echo everything you said. I wish there was a solution but there’s no one size fits all. We have to do more and get the people around us to even see this is an issue.
Thank you for your voice and comment! We need people to keep talking about this. My story won’t help everyone but it could at least help one person (hopefully).
Keep fighting. We are all in this together.
It needs to be said, and it speaks volume of how she's come to find something to live for or became that someone she can live with.
It is a personal thing. Some of the most successful/fulfilled ppl i know have had great and major traumas and hardships that they were able to heal or overcome without professional help but with will and grit. They don't have to become the exception. People and humans are capable of resilience in mind, body and spirit. Nothing simple, easy or fair about life, but people make the most out of it.
Sometimes i question what's the point too but i challenge myself to keep going and move forward daily, weekly and yearly.
I hope you can find/become whatever/whoever you want and need in your life.
your words are wonderfully sincere, but I have been looking for someone to care for 50 years. They never did care , but it is astonishing how much more they can care less as time goes on. And the people who are supposed to love you are actively trying to hurt you. This world makes no sense to me. my heart hurts so much. some of us really do have no one.
I’m so sorry this has been your experience, Elaine. Know I am here for you if you need someone to talk to. I care! 🙏🏼✨
I care as well. ❤ You are not alone. ❤
I am so sorry to hear this. And I share your loneliness.... ❤ I wish I could have a magic wand and send you a real hug reaching your heart
This is wonderful, I listened a couple of times, and I find it powerful every single time.
A talk that is raw and true 💗
Thank you.
She’s my inspiration! Queen Haley
Good for you what if it’s like my son no one knew anything was wrong. He died and no one saves him. What do you say to this one. Saying all suicides are preventable leaves a lot of people thinking they could have done more and it’s just not true. I don’t know the answers at all. I appreciate what you’re doing. Awareness is the key indeed
This was an excellent speech!!
Well put!!
A truly amazing young women, the QC is better because of her!
I wouldn’t be alive without that phone call. Thank you for calling me when I needed it most. Love you!
@@haleydegreve6395 I didn't know that much of suicide was preventable. Everytime I listen to someone's pain, I felt helpless. Thank you for showing even I can make some difference. Thank you for lifting me up from hopelessness 💛
@@foreverwintertaylorsversio561 This made my whole day. Thank you for changing my world. Just by listening -- you are a starfish thrower.
And you both are the inspiring initiators 🤗
It’s not about feeling worthless. It’s about being in physical pain. Every. Single. Day.
Or emotional pain
Shes right. Ive felt so much worse since living alone. Im single and choose to be, but maybe i need to do stuff with other people without romantic intentions.
My daughter lives in the next town.
You are such an inspiration Haley. I attempted to take my life few years ago. When I came to in the hospital 2 days later, my thoughts was "God was not ready for me yet"
Wow. David, YOU are the real inspiration. Thank you for sharing this with me. You're right, God is not done with you. He needs you here and so do we -- so do I. Keep fighting and know we are here for you.
You've survived 100% of all your worst days and you should be incredibly proud of yourself. YOU are a warrior.
I'm so glad you decided to stay with us. We would have missed you very much. I love you ♥️
Mt bom...💙💙💙⛵
I could never imagine how someone would feel before suicide ... until i used lyrica for four months. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me ... Within a week i went from feeling depressed to extremely suicial. My body shut down completely, i had no energy left for anything, when i tried to eat i threw up, i turned my back on frinds an family and was completly isolated ... I lost all control of my thoughts and actions and i thought i was going to die
My body basicly told me that it was time to. i couldnt even talk to someone even though may friends and family cared...
I took valium for a week and stopped taking Lyrica and it was way better afterwards. I think im still a little traumatized after that ... i dont know if it would heva helped me, if someone aked me if i had these thoughts ... but i think so.
If you feel someone is having such thoughts, please ask them, because they cant tell you!
I am so sorry to hear this.. You’re so right about asking the people around you - checking in.
It’s so important to ask: “Are you thinking about suicide?” If you’re concerned about someone. Asking the hard questions helps open the door to these kinds of conversations.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so so glad you’re here.
I'm so glad you decided to stay with us we would have missed you very much. I love you ♥️
💜
❤
What about when you are in a place where its external forces and you cant seem to be moving forward and are stuck in that place.........how do you get from there? All the talks or mental health help does not help external problems in your life.
Exactly, mine comes from poverty. I became disabled and lost my entire career overnight when I was just 26. I’m 34 now. I live off less than 800$ ssdi. I have a 14 yo old to care for. I don’t get food stamps because I’m ordered child support but he doesn’t pay it, he’s 18k in arrears, he’s been turned over to the irs by child support but job and family says they have to count the ordered amount as income. My financial situation is never going to get better. So how can I stay like this?? I’m not telling you to leave!! Obviously I’m still here. For some reason I’m still here and I don’t know why.
Here’s an idea to anyone struggling including myself delete social media and turn off the damn news!
Build inner strength and unconditional love for self and all life by singing HU daily. Search how to sing HU the Sound of Soul.
hmmmm, I mean brain chemicals react to our mental thought model just need to fix and try to find best thought process so we can avoid suicidal or depression mindset
What if you really don’t want to live anymore?
Worst sutiation here😢
None of these talks even start to sink in anymore, I think it might just be time for me to leave
He Yo, how are you today?
Hey! How are you doing??
How are things? I hope you are doing okay.
it will if you wait 10 year at least
I don’t matter
Yes, you do. To your parents, to your friends. Stay strong. Never give up.
You matter to me.
@@haleydegreve6395Why? I am 38 years old, I am lonely, hurting, I am continually trying to make my life better and I am hitting brick wall after brick wall, all I want is to have what everyone else has and that’s a relationship because I have seen enough pain in my life. Is it wrong of me to think that I deserve better?
matter still matter
Yes you do I love you and would miss you very much if you decided to leave us ❤
❤