A Portland couple tried in vain to get their son mental health treatment. Then, he killed his mother
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- Опубликовано: 2 май 2024
- Hunter Graham says his family's tragedy is evidence of Oregon's flawed mental health system, which waits for someone to commit a crime before mandating treatment.
In November, Hunter's son Austin Graham confessed to murdering his mother, telling police he strangled her to death in their family home in what Hunter Graham believes was a psychotic episode.
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Watch Part Two of the Uncommitted series here: How Oregon effectively criminalized severe mental illness ruclips.net/video/iO4UfSqrDTI/видео.html
Watch Part Three of the Uncommitted series here: A Portland man in psychosis flew across the country. It was a rare success story ruclips.net/video/YM3_BqaeQfg/видео.html
@@KGWNews8 you need a Kobe tattoo considering he faked his death to inbreed his daughter in Elons bunker and thats what you stand for
The Democrats destroyed Portland...and this Family!
@asea5130 This isn’t a Democrat /Republican issue. They need to change the laws that were put in place decades ago to stop them institutionalizing women for being outspoken. While it had good intentions, now the law is preventing people from getting help who desperately need it.
Mothers of sons should start realising they're at risks when having sons. Treat them early away from patriarchy. It's risky for women around mails. Son or not.
If a doctor and an attorney can not get mental Healthcare for their child any other parent has zero hope 😢
It had nothing to do with the parents' occupations/social standing or affordability. The law prevented them from committing him involuntarily. This happened regardless of the class of the parents. They were even able to get guardianship, which is extremely costly. However, they still could not have him institutionalized.
Medical age of consent differs in each State. This causes issues for parents even if they want their children to get desperate help.
Agreed and I’m a living witness… zero hope.
@ArcoirisDeZebulon Never give up HOPE!! God Bless You.
It's called mental health by the world but it's actually demonic possession obviously. We read about it in scripture. It's terribly sad in this case. Poor family.
I wonder how Austin was before he went to college
and growing up and if the parents noticed things then.
Years ago, I told my therapist that no one cares about mental health until someone dies.
Sadly, nothing has gotten better.
and even then no one cares.
I am becoming a Catholic sister or nun after I graduate nursing school. Real unconditional love. Real authenticity and service. No more social media. I've rid myself of narcissist people and relationships. Solace and peace over fake friends. Forgiveness saved me from suicide. I used to be a drug addict and atheist. But life is a real journey.
I raised my severely mentally ill niece for several years. One of the things she struggled with the most was hearing voices to kill people along with killing herself. So many times she tried to commit suicide and multiple times she attempted to murder. I unfortunately I had to give her up because her insurance was refusing to pay for her medication and for any treatment that she needed. I fought so hard to get her help. I was threatened and was told by many different people including the mayor that they would not step in to help until she either killed herself or killed someone else. Now she is in the custody of the state and they are now forced to get her help. Should have never gotten to the point where I had to give her up. They do not care
Congratulations! I'm really happy for you, and hope you'll have many years of love and true joy. However, please don't make it sound as if joining the religious life can cure mental health problems.
They want poor people to just die cus rich people dont pay people its economic genocide
My heart breaks for this poor man who lost his beautiful wife so tragically. Having been a mental health provider for 40 years, we must face the fact that our great experiment of de-institutionalizing those with mental illness has failed miserably. We need to admit this in order to make a broad and sweeping systems changes that will keep people safe.
How did that happen? What was the prevalent wisdom in that decision? Surely they must have looked at a model of this elsewhere where it was effective. You need data to make a sweeping decision like that. I agree, a miserable failure.
Money is the deciding factor, not the well being of individuals or the safety of society when it comes to mental health care.
I think maybe the better plan is to build up the community. Especially to recognise the difference between just odd/different behaviour and criminal, and psycho behaviour.
Terrible. They are doing the same thing with those with intellectual disabilities and behavior problems. They can hit you but you can't hit back. ONE BIG BIG REASON people are leaving this field.
There are so many mentally young people that need help. But parents hands are tied. It's tragic
Just more than Sad that Austin killed his Mother.
She Loved Austin so much.
Now his Dad feels destroyed by this, losing sooo much, especially his wife.
“You shouldn’t have to commit murder to get mental health care.” Oregon failed this family and should be held accountable. I’ve lived here my whole life, and the atrocities I’ve seen the state enact through blind indifference is astounding and disgusting.
We need to bring back mental institutions.
@@MassageandReiki-ee5xg Oh shut the eff up. If you think the GOP, led by the Great Orange Shame, would do any better, than YOU are a special kind of stupid.
Reagan shuttered mental health facilities in California when he was governor and throughout the country when he was president, one prime example why both parties are at fault.
@MassageandReiki-ee5xg NO, Ronald Reagon is responsible for closing mental institutions,which led to chronic homelessness
This is not just an Oregon issue this is nation wide.
You didn't fail, Sir. You guys did everything you could. The system failed.
Austin failed! All he had to do was go to college, complete his degree, get a job and a GF then go sit down! This is ridiculous. 🤦🏼♀️
@@Maui_Gyrl_ are you serious? Please be joking.
Schizophrenia starts in late teens, early 20s generally speaking
Why ? 😮
@@alonzorodriguez8878 -- the "why" hasn't been discovered yet. But it's generally teens and early 20s for male patients, later in the 20s for female patients.
@@alonzorodriguez8878 no one really knows the biomechanics, if they did they would know a cure, so it's just pseudo science. The pills just make them sleepy so they won't act out, but they don't stop voices. If the pills worked people wouldn't stop taking them all the time. If i was tortured and pill gave me peace of mind I wouldn't stop taking that pill, the reason they stop is because it doesn't work, just makes you sleepy.
And it’s mostly men
@@alonzorodriguez8878They don't know Jesus Christ.
It’s not just Oregon, it’s everywhere. If your child is an adult there is precious little you can do to actually get them the help they need. Believe me, I know. My heart breaks for this family.
It’s absolutely horrific. My son is dead because of the lack of help. When we got him help time and time again they refused to share anything with us because he was over 18, even though we paid for his insurance and everything above and beyond. The system is F’d up. Luckily he was not a harm to others, only himself. Now we are a family absolutely destroyed.
So true
@@QueenofKings-mh7zn I have an adult son who struggles with mental issues. He lives with me and His step dad - only his step dad does not represent himself as such but as an older brother. He is not on any anti psychotic drug but I give him lithium and he recognizes its help. We are Christians - that means we need our Savior’s redemption, let go of perfectionism to the greatest degree that allows us to still remain sane and just keep loving and forgiving and it’s working. We have an unseen enemy - and our children are not the enemy although they can do some awful destruction.
Agreed! The police said that there wasn't anything they could do about my brother when he chased her around the house with a butcher knife bc he didn't hurt her. They could only hospitalize him for 24 hours and she had to let him back into the house until he could be evicted
This is part of why we keep getting mass shootings. Our country makes no sense.
This is not an isolated story. Something similar happened in Berkeley years ago. A mentally ill young man killed a man at his home. His parents talked about all they'd tried to do to get their son help. But he was an adult who could check himself out of the mental hospital after 72 hours. And he couldn't be forced to take medication. Their hands were tied because no one could "force" him to submit to treatment. This is such a tragedy!
This is not just a mental health problem. As long as a person is alert and oriented AT THAT TIME, they cannot be forced to take any kind of care whether it’s mental illness or physical illness. As a surgical ward nurse I saw patients time after time refuse help until it was too late. It happened in my own life. My husband was diagnosed with COPD. He refused to keep up his twice annual chest cray. The next thing we know he’s being told he has stage 4 inoperable lung cancer. And now I am left with feelings of anger that he couldn’t have taken an hour out of his day to get an Xray. In 2008 he was having chest pain, sweating like crazy, almost passing out. This happened at work once. They wanted to call me and he refused. Thankfully he had an episode in front of me and I drove him to the hospital. He needed a valve replacement. He wanted to put it off and would have except the doc told him he could drop dead if he didn’t get it fixed. This was a 57 year old man!
It is a tragedy but even mentally unhealthy people have rights. As a counselor I would have gotten him detained. Even so, he wouldn’t have been held for long and they can’t force him to take his meds. We use injections as much as possible so that the person won’t have to make a choice. This is a horrible situation.
This should never have happened. Such tragic loss could be prevented. 🙏🕯🥀🕊
My best friend from childhood has a sister who is VERY mentally unstable. She ended up getting pregnant in 2012. Their father had tried before she got pregnant to get her sterilized or on BC and just like you stated - he couldn't force her to do anything. She ended up shaking the baby to death when she was 2 1/2 months old. Her and the babies father (he is also mentally unwell) are serving 30yrs. If/when she is released she will become a ward of the State and go into a home where she can receive proper care. It's sad tho that it took the death of an innocent baby to get to this point. Something really needs to change.
The same happens with eating disorders. When a person is incapable of making rational decisions for themselves, some form of guardian needs to.
I hope the family sues the state of OREGON and the JUDGE who refused to commit him!
Patients have so many rights it's difficult to get a petition unless they are actively danger to self or others. I worked in an ER and we had so many mentally ill patients we were not allowed to treat unless they were actively danger to self or others. It was so frustrating as we knew they needed help, but unless they agreed we could only release them.
This is every in US, not just in Oregon!
Libs changed mental health laws decades ago
Not easy to commit somebody these days
@@tl1533 Because libs run things
When conservatives ran them we locked up the insane and had felons on chain gangs
What about their healthcare provider?
The first time my fiancé attempted suicide they sent cops who shot him multiple times with handgun and shotgun nonlethal rounds. The cops were laughing, acting like they were sport hunting. They let him out of the hospital 3-4 hour later…The day he succeeded in his attempts, he called White Birds Crisis line. I spent YEARS trying to get him help. My best friend I had had known since I was 11. He was failed by the Oregon State Child protective services, the Oregon state foster care system, the Oregon Justice system, and the post prison system, and finally tue crisis system. The majority of his depression stemmed from abuse from foster care.
I am so sorry for you and him. I am sure you tried to help him, but it seems that neither he nor you got the support you both needed.😥
Condolences, what a heartbreaking end to his life💔
Foster care is a whole other nightmare. We want to birth 'em but don't want to take care of them after they're born. I'm so sorry for what you & your best friend endured.
I’m sorry beLoved. JESUS bless you and comfort you.
I feel this can be an example as to why many don't want help,the people in power (police,doctors) laugh and dehumanize people and don't care. it's re traumatizing having to seek help from the very people who hurt you or people who work in systems like dcf
Sir, you and your wife did not fail Austen, the system did. My heart goes out to you, and hopefully this horrible event will bring some positive change to people like your family and son.
The mental healthcare system in this country is 100% broken. No one notices a change in a person's mental health better than direct family members. My mother developed acute psychosis in 2021. It was the most frightening thing that I have ever witnessed. We could get no one to believe us or admit her until she was almost at death's door. I was literally crying and begging the ems to take her. I say this as a RN and from personal experience. The mental health system needs to be totally dismantled and rebuilt. My heart goes out to this dad.
As an ER nurse working with this system that fails some of the most vulnerable amoung us and ties the hands of people in Healthcare who just want to be able to help yes tear the system down it's to rotten too just patch it up.
Not always.
Tragic. My mother was treated terribly by my mentally ill brother. She finally got a restraining order. Sold her house and moved across country.
This makes your heart break and your blood boil at the same time.
2003 my brother ended his life. There's been no solution for some time now. He had threatened to kill my folks, so I told my folks, but my brother never forgave me. I was afraid. He cracked one day, but took his life. He was failed
I am so sorry for you and your family's loss.
My condolences 😢
It’s time to get our mental institutions back.
Who the fuck that's of stable mind will work in there for a wage that doesn't afford them a shelter?
Nobody.
So then what it will attract are the wrong people to oversee.
And more prisons
@@4MAGA I was thinking more along the lines of forced labor, but I'll acknowledge the validity of your idea.
@@TVHouseHistorian love it! How bout experimental drugs???😀
@@4MAGA I like the way you think. Ever thought of running for Governor? Because the Kotex we put in place isn't stopping the bleeding.
I don't understand how they found her dead and didn't see that she'd been strangled. I wonder what they thought she died of.
He could've said he found her on the floor. They may have skipped the autopsy and wrote it up as Covid or heart failure depending on when she died.
I thought the same thing, no strangulation marks to be seen around this woman's neck?
@@MF-ty2znpure negligence if that's the case
I was wondering the same thing..
Absolutely shameful. Those doctors that deemed him a non threat need to be investigated themselves. That family deserved so much better.
I'm in tears when he said his son strangled his wife to death. My prayers go out this husband and father. I pray he finds healing.
Breaks my heart too. But didn’t he realize ONE time during the strangling: “hey I’m killing my mom?”
@@stormcorrosion176probably wasn't lucid enough to comprehend what he was doing. He is responsible for what he did, but if he was a good person before his psychosis, I can only imagine how destroyed he is after realizing what he did.
I have no addiction issues and have no criminal history but it has become impossible in Oregon for me to get appropriate services. I’ve been struggling for 30 years.
Without coin, connections, crews, clout, computer code, control, communities, and opportunities... in today's world, here in 202x... you ain't *nothin'*. That's just how it is.
@@Novastar.SaberCombat ya and then try doing that with a crippling autoimmune disease that is life threatening with no family and one friend because everyone else left the state.
Travel outside of the US to get quality and affordable treatment.
@@ethxo6734 before I could I got so sick I can’t even travel for 25 minutes now without puking liters of blood for weeks now. Last time was March 27th when I almost died from congestive heart failure a 30 minute ambulance ride there and back. Doctor accused me of being a alcoholic even though I’m not because my liver was failing, I have a rare autoimmune disease that is very deadly rotting out all my organs and still the hospitals list it as hypertension when everything says otherwise. More security guards than doctors or nurses and the doctors are all physicians assistants now every hospital. I saw two old ladies die on the floor waiting for a room while the nurses were partying and flirting with security.
You will continue to struggle. That’s the point. Keep paying taxes
That happened to a friend of mine. His brother kept slipping through the cracks and not getting the help he needed for schizophrenia. He ended up killing his mother and now is spending the rest of his life in the psych ward in prison. This could’ve been avoided had he have gotten the help he needed. The family tried and tried to get him help.
My heart goes out to this man. I'm so sorry for your loss. I had two brothers who required hospitalization. It was hard.
To deny treatment for a mental health issues is inhumane 😢
he wasn't denied mental health. he refused treatment.
He was not in his right mind. He agreed to go initially.
Wow! He’s a lawyer and she’s a doctor and they couldn’t do it!
He never should have been sent home
who pays for this?....as a society we can have big multi million dollar sports and pay athletes a million dollars IN COLLEGE and we wonder why people with mental disability can't get real help?......its the money folks....
@@leelaural Your government can sent millions of war heads to the middle east to kill children and also support a colony with billions upon billions, pretty sure they can solve every problem in your country but just don't want to because there is no benefit for their own pockets in that one.
They should not have allowed him to turn home!
They can't keep him unless he is suicidal or homicidal, or so debilitated that he couldn't take care of himself. There is no point in blaming the facility. They have to operate under the laws.
Even if they had kept him, there is no guarantee he would be medication compliant once he was released.
You also need to realize bed space for psychiatric patients is hard to come by.
I am in favor of changing some of these laws. I want there to be more treatment facility options. Insurance companies and the government have a strangle-hold on the funds needed to do this. It is up to us to lobby for change.
@@zencat55 it would have been better if the parents didn't allow him to return!
I volunteered in a locked forensic unit for young adults like Austin, with psychotic disorders. Most had committed violent crimes against their own family members. Often it was the only family they had left, their greatest protectors & carers. Their family would battle for years to get their kids (almost always, sons) the help they needed. Also failing whereupon during a psychotic break, they killed their Mother/father/both etc. 17-25yo is classic time for psychotic disorders to make themselves known, particularly in early college. They’re already ill, but it’s subtle. But away from home, under huge stress, new environment….it stops being subtle.
I can’t overstate how heart broken I am for this man, for his beloved wife, and for Austin.
Psychotic disorders are a lightning bolt which (generally) strike young men, just as their lives are beginning. You don’t get a say in the matter, it can’t be counselled out of them.
You depend on anti psychotics (if they work), the law, and the healthcare system. One kink in the chain and it all goes t*ts up. Such a mongrel of a disease.
We have a person with a psychotic disorder running for president and it's being ignored. Why would society care about the average person. Just asking 😢
It's not that they couldn't get him mental health care, it's that they couldn't do it involuntarily. They couldn't get it made mandatory, and with voluntary treatment you are able to leave.
Exactly. Thank you for making that comment. I can see a lot of people haven’t watched the whole video or even half of it and they just seem to think the family couldn’t afford the care, when it wasn’t the cost that was stopping them from getting him help.
Yes, that’s true with rehab and anything else. The difference is that mentally impaired people can’t make decisions for themselves, the mother had guardianship over him so that decision should have been hers to make and not his. Too late now.
@@toosense you are absolutely WRONG!! UNLESS THEY ARE FULL BLOWN RRTARDED/AUTISTIC, THEY KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG!!
That's about the same thing he could only doing voluntary yet he's the one suffering from mental health problems he's not going to go put himself in a mental health facility most of the time people who are suffering this don't even see they have a problem my sister suffers from schizophrenia yet she thinks she fine every time my mom has tried to commit her she gets right back out.
That part💯
What? At first the police didn't suspect foul play? Another failure, the signs of strangulation are very clear. The whole situation was disgusting!
This sounds EXACTLY like my son. He is 26, and despite him running a cop off the road the other night while actively hallucinating and driving without a license, the police refuse to say he needs help. I don't know why a bunch of 20-something kids working in the backwoods of New Mexico with 10 hours of mental health instruction are making treatment decisions about my son!!!!
You didn't fail Dad. I'm on the precipice atm with my son, I'm so scared to not do the right thing. How do I open the dialogue with him, so aware that every word could close a door to him ❤
Absolutely crushed for this family. We are seeing the results of a steady and steep decline of mental health social services funding. The thresholds for commitment are unreasonably high and it doesn’t really matter because there is no place for them to go anyway.
Funding? I think educating folks on living a godly life would fix tons of issues.
ITs not the funding its the "woke" process wich does not work in those that are danger to themselves or others including animals.
My local mental health rolled their eyes at me when I explained why I attempted to unalive myself. They didn't care at all. Not one bit. You have to pay so much just to get real mental health care in America.
I am so sorry. There are no words to describe how horrible that is. No reason should be met with an eye-roll.
@shadesofvioletcat Thanks. Yeah, they put you in cuffs after getting out of the fricking hospital and take you to these people who don't even care, and make you speak to them to determine whether you're gonna try it again. You can just lie, especially after they roll their eyes. You know they don't care. It was postpartum but I didn't realize it.
I'm so sorry...for what its worth I'll pray for you
My heart goes out to this poor man, I totally agree , I am a nursing sister in South Africa, I have a 35 year old some with mental illness, 2 weeks ago he tried to commit subside, I could not get any help for him, if he won’t agree to have treatment, he doesn’t consider himself mentally ill but cannot look after himself, the laws regarding mental health is so crazy that either an innocent person has to die first or they destroy the family and kill themselves but no one and I mean no one listens, it’s so very sad it’s like we live in the dark ages.
❤
People that are suffering delusions, paranoia and/or hallucinations should not be free to roam the community. They are a danger to themselves and others despite the opinions of the medical people who don't want to care for them because they can't make money on these patients.
your words fall on deaf leftist and democrat ears, unfortunately...
@@forgottenman8629-- they also fall on deaf right wing/conservative ears, who insist on continuing the budget cuts and don't want to increase funding to bring mental hospitals back.
I know a few cities that are under a circuit where the Republican Mayor, DA, Solicitor, and officers constantly fail those with mental health, abused males, addicts and instead constantly arrest them to gain income because these people regardless of race are easy targets. The best they can do the AA's are lie on them and keep them in the system but they physically body slam and harass poor whites. I am black and watch this to the point of being sickened watching those in law lie and offer no resources or help with thousands of dollars down and then they may or many not still do their job. Stop blaming politics and start looking at the real enemy. This can't be controlled because it's not physical but a spiritual battle we are fighting. Like Jesus said sometimes it's going to take prayer and fasting and always staying in the word to come against these spirits. There are no Democrats and Republicans in heaven or hell. The Lord only sees the righteous and unrighteous.
As someone who has worked 38 years in health care people like you make it so discouraging.
I have cared very much for my patients. We have fought to get patients committed but the activist do gooders got the laws changed. You are legally allowed to roam freely in spite of hallucinations, paranoia and delusions. If you refuse to take your medications we can't make you take them it's against your rights. Even if we think you are a danger to yourself or others we have to get a judge to sign for involuntary committal. But a lot of judges don't want to sign because they feel we haven't given them enough proof the patient is a danger.
So please, please being so much wiser than those of us trying to work in this broken system tell us what to do. We'd be happy to have someone with the power and wisdom to fix this horrible mess.
I heard another story just like this from New York. It was some socialite couple and their son killed the father. They also had the means but endured the same roadblocks as this gentleman. We must make mental health services available to everyone.
In Wisconsin, parents with teens struggling with mental health or AODA issues cannot force their kids to get treatment. 14 and up have to consent so parents just have to watch their kids spiral out of control.
am from Wisconsin my brother has autism I have TBI with cognitive disabilities and ADHD my dad and Mom are our primary care givers and my dad is mostly in charge of our medical needs I always take my medication but if there ever comes I time I down right refuses I've told them they have my permission to do want they think is best in this worse case scenario hopefully that never comes down to that
Mentally ill people have rights. You cannot force them into treatment. That is illegal.
My brother was attacked, he bled profusely. Blood was coming out of his ears. He refused help, when the Ambulance came. When we arrived at the scene, they told my mother she couldn't force him to go to the hospital, and left. The second ambulance came, persuaded him and he went. Got there and discharged himself later on, while he was still bleeding. My mom was helpless. He was clearly not in his right mind, due to the head injury. Luckily he survived, and moved to a safer area. Why can't they just let the parents decide, if the child is not capable of making a sound decision. It's their child after all.
How Oregon handles mental health needs umis despicable. Sometimes involuntary commitment is necessary. And this case is a tragic example of that.
This poor man. If you should see this sir, my heart and prayers go out to you. Sharing in your sorrow.
This is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard becase it likely could have been prevented. The mother and father did everything they could to help their son. He should have had mental health care so mom & dad together could go visit their son in a hospital & the parents would still have a life together. Now the father is alone. So heartbreaking. My prayers will be for this lonely, sad man.
They need to rewrite the book on mental health.
Hunter and Teresa did not fail spectacularly, Oregon has
Exactly!!
I worked in a busy ER as an RN for 20 years. So often we'd get mental health patients begging for help, or others begging for relief and sending them in to us. We'd get them evaluated and either release them or get them petitioned for inpatient treatment or some would go voluntarily. What was the outcome from that, I don't know. I remember with President Regan closed the mental health hospitals in mass, and moved the patients to the streets, it's been a war zone ever since.
Pretty sure it was years in the making before Reagan took office. Carter was also involved in getting rid of these institutions.
Part of the reason was that they were seen as inhumane. After all, a book was written about them (one flew over the cuckoo's nest).
Considering how hospitals and nursing homes operate these days, it wouldn't surprise me that alot of the staff in these institutions were bad people on power trips who treated these people badly.
That said, let's not pretend that crazies and criminal behavior hasn't risen just these past few years and moreso in certain areas were laws are not followed or are soft. Let's also not pretend that parents aren't parenting anymore, homes are not traditional and schools are also soft with punishment.
Another problem is prescription drugs. Big pharma and doctors prescribing mental pills where there's no need and to change people's genders. Media promotes the 468643 genders to minors and constantly shows violence. Then there's the culture. We are taught to be individuals that don't need other people when in fact, we do. Young people today rather be holed up in their bedroom. Eventually that causes people to go nuts.
The counselors and overall mental health therapists these days are not very good. A chunk of people actually see therapists and take pills, but they continue being the same way. Some play along with their patients delusions. The good therapists leave due to the burn out and seeing people not adequately cared for while the bad ones stay.
We have adults who procreate who shouldn't be opening their legs or unzipping in the first place. They end up having offspring who grow up to be nuisances to society like they were ...and cared for by the taxpayer
Lastly: open borders.
Yes! I remember that time so clearly! All of a sudden, they were out on the streets. It was so sad. And...it hasn't changed since Reagan did that.
Weren't they in part closed because of abuse?
it was before Reagan, and it was mandated by our lawyer class...it started in the 60's....fact.....and as an RN in a busy acute care hospital, I know and you know that medicare/medicaid/private insurance is very strict in what they will pay for....what they will allow...and what they will allow doctors to do....
@@daa5249 They passed a law that said you couldn't have patients working at the mental institutions...and that's when it really started going down hill. But good mental institutions would find what the person liked & was good at and that's the job they gave them. It gave them a purpose and a sense of belonging. And something to do. After that, they just started drugging them. Patients used to take care of the institution. But having others do it cost money. No money, came disrepair followed by hard to find doctors & nurses because they paid a pittance due to lack of a money. Then came the abuse...
Wait! So what’s the solution?? How can parents help their kids who are non violent but refuse to take medicine?
Honestly, I don't know. My son was hospitalized about every 6 wks on the dot for a needed med change starting at about 7 years old. This slowed down about the age of 15 years old. Even when he was 8 or 9 and even tho he was taking his meds, they'd refuse admittance bc he wasn't severe enough. He'd have a stab mark on his neck. Was brought to the hospital by ambulance bc I'd have to call the police. He was strong and aggressive. They still said he had to be more severe. Words were exchanged.
I mostly didn't have trouble after he was 10 but before then, yes, we were denied often. I've visited 3 psych hospitals in one day seeking help. If you had any idea how long the intake process could be for just one hospital..
Thankfully, he's a fully grown(25) father of one. Off his meds and disability and doing fabulous.. But it was a long hard arduous road getting there. I'll also say it greatly depends on your insurance or if you have any. Each state is different. It's crazy and scary. I'm in MO.
@@Silvermoonscorpion wow thank you for sharing. True example of a parents love.
Psychosis is real....my husband went through it, but as soon as he said "if you were not my kids mother, I would kill you". And that's when I took him to the hospital. It was crazy, the nurses asked him a couple of questions and just took him from me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. His words/actions said it all....Even though he said he would have killed me, the fact is that he never stopped loving his kids. Kept talking to the doc/nurses about his kids. He gushed about them and shared his memories of them as babies, toddlers, kids, etc. Most painful part is that he didn't know who I was, cried numerous nights, told him i love him, he couldn't say it back...brought him food everyday, hospital said i can't contact him. When he was out, they collected all the foods I gave him and gave it back to me. We still have a long way to recovery, almost one year but he's doing better. He remembers me but he still isn't how we were as a sweet loving couple that showed lots of emotions.
Pray for his deliverance and healing from the past. In JESUS MIGHTY NAME!!!!!
Cast those demons out! In JESUS MIGHTY NAME! Give satan no foot hold!
You were very fortunate that your husband's disorder was recognized and believed, and even more fortunate that there was an open inpatient bed for him to receive care. Even when a patient is clearly having a severe crisiscrisis that needs hospitalization, there's usually a waiting list to get in to a facility Because they've closed so many of the hospitals.
How can he remember with great detail the kids but not you? I’m not a doctor but that’s not amnesia from psychosis that’s just disassociated himself with you. He for some reason finds you an enemy. I would be very careful and I be praying for your family!
@@pinkdonut26 sorry if I over exaggerated, he somewhat remembers me, but he only knew me as my kids mother, but no recollection of our good times together or me being his wife. It's crazy he even remembered his estranged son that was taken away by his ex-wife in which he hasn't seen in forever.
@@ark198989 now that he's slowly recovering, til this day he thinks something sinister like the devil was inside him. He actually told me that when he was at the hospital with enclosed locked doors that every night at 10pm the lights all turned off and around midnight the security guard there performed some kind of exorcism. I was skeptical to believe it but then I think about what if that could be true.... 🤔
As someone who has experienced Kaiser’s system, I will add here that the process to get help with something you know is a sweet problem can take months if not years. It is almost impossible to get mental healthcare specifically, not to mention help for other issues. Murder or suicide attempts are the fastest way to health care. And even then the system outside of the hospital can fail us all when they can refuse medication or treatment. Heartbreaking for this man to lose both his wife and son.
If a Doctor & Attorney can't get help for their child what the heck kinda hope do us regular floks have!?
This is a country-wide issue. We got rid of mental health care during the Reagan Era. Just like that, we were seeing them homeless, living on the streets. It was sad. And hasn't changed since.
This was not a Reagan era issue at all. It was in fact a very personal mission of President Kennedy due to what his father did to his sister Rosemary and started as far back as the late 50s and early 60s. The push for stopping forced institutionalization was started by a committee he set up to research better ways of caring for the mentally ill. Although, he was not able to see it through, it led to numerous organizations, most notably NAMI who gained popularity and power in the 70s and it culminated in two Supreme Court rulings in 1975 and 1978 that finally led to the laws we now have today. Reagan did not become President until 1981. Anyone reading your statement would wrongly assume Reagan had something to do with it, when in reality it was always a democrat ideology and was made into law by a liberal supreme court.
@@segsb7085 Mostly true. It doesgo way back. But it was Reagan that closed the remaining institutions and they ended up on the streets. And Republicans never fund mental health care.
@@segsb7085-- well meaning but misguided Democrats started the process, but budget cutting Republicans took that ball and ran with it. So they worked together to close the mental hospitals.
Oh World, be gentle with this man and hold him up with love. I am so sorry Sir. We cry with you.
My heart breaks for this family. Our systems are beyond broken.
I remember a friend saying her schitzophrenic son thought she had a demon in her and he lived with her and the people who were treating him were all about his autonomy. If you have a case of schitzophrenia you should be forced to take treatment. Absolutely this should be the law. There is no way a person with that diagnosis should get to decide if they should get treatment.
I am so sorry for this Father! Its NOT your fault, so sorry for your loss!
Mental health is scary: My brother at age 62 stood on rhe railing of the Lions Gate Bridge and jumped February 12, 2023.
My mum was totally aghast!😢💔
My daughter was not able to get care at all for her now diagnosed Schizophrenia until she violently attacked my husband, her own father. After that, she was able to get diagnosed. That's here in Ohio.
I am so sorry for this gentleman, and his wife and his son. It is so difficult for the families. It breaks your heart to hear him say ‘they/he’ failed. No, the system is what failed! You can’t have someone committed here either… even when you are begging!
It’s not just Oregon. This country is horrific in responding to mental health crisis and dangers caused by mentally ill people, as well as the dangers mentally ill people face.
My non blood related family has faced tremendous issues, thankfully no one died but it was close. In the end finally had to lock the mentally ill adult child to the streets. Eventually he was made a ward of the state because he was that bad.
This poor couple. They loved their son too much. They were too good. They needed to cut and self protect and do what my extended family did. Our system isn’t broken so much as it never worked
Poor man. Horrible but true, how many times do we hear someone was in mental crisis after killing or attacking someone. Just walk downtown and see how many tickling time bombs wondering the streets.
I am so sorry for your loss and your son not getting the treatment he needed.
Oh my…this is absolutely heartbreaking 💔. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife and quite frankly your son. Your families story NEEDS to be told and those that have the power to create lasting and meaningful change MUST listen. Thank you for sharing such a personal and truly earth shattering story.
This is so heartbreaking. I don't understand why we have stopped helping people with mental issues. There is no reason for people to have to suffer this way. I too worked in a hospital and have seen first hand the stress some families have to go through. We had parents just like these people who had a daughter with serious mental issues. She had tried suicide but after paramedics doing cpr for about 20 minutes were able to revive her but it had caused permanent brain damage. She had the mentality of a 5 year old as a result. She would require constant care 24/7 and would throw violent temper tantrums. All they could do was bring her to the ER where we would get her calm again and then sent her back home. The parents were terrified of her and said it felt like they were living in hell. It was in possible for them to get any help. I used to just sit with then throughout the night while they cried and listened to their daughter scream.
leftists and democrats consider an institution 'inhumane' is at the nut of it, more 'humane' to permit them to wander streets they claim, that is why...
@@forgottenman8629-- Democrats were HALF of the problem. Budget cutting Republicans were the other half. Both sides of the political spectrum worked together to start shutting down the asylums in the 60s, and the process sped up after Reagan brought it nationwide from California in the 80s, and a bunch of state governors continued to cut budgets and close down the mental hospitals ever since.
Republicans/conservatives were only worried about budget cutting to lower taxes. And Democrats/liberals were only worried about protecting the patients from the abuses in some of the hospitals.
The problem was the community health centers that everyone was promised would take over the role of the old asylums never actually materialized. Because they take money to run, just like hospitals take money to run. Republicans wanted to keep their budget cuts, so there you go.
So sad. Someone needs to face charges for ignoring their pleas.
The Police found "no sign of foul play" when the mother was strangled?!!! What the fuck.
These people NEED to be held accountable.
Sir I am so sorry your family was let doen by the "system".
DISGUSTING!!!.
Oregon flawed mental health, unemployment, Oregon paid leave etc appears this is more than a pattern, and just the incompetence of this state and it's elected officials. It's just shameful and pathetic plain and simple!
Its not just Oregon, its nationwide. I have a bipolar son and even though we got him in a supportive housing program its still a constant battle getting him other services and making sure he takes his meds.
Born & raised in Oregon; mother committed herself to the mental hospital in Salem in the '60s, checked herself out b4 30 days "I (she) didn't get help, was just put to work scrubbing floors". I'm in CA now since early '70s. We used to have mental facilities to help, but the good citizens and lawmakers of the state in their great wisdom, decided it wasn't good for those with mental health needs to be 'locked up' in institutions, so they were closed and the residents turned over to families or their own devices. Now they're on the streets. Oh but they are 'free'. No mental health help, no home, more drugs, more crime, more filth, families don't want them, or families can't deal with them, or they can't deal with their families, and are 'lost' to family - all scenarios apply. Man has no answers...nor will he ever.
Reagan shut down all the state mental hospitals instead of reforming them. There was abuse in those places. Mental illness is really a physical chemical or brain disorder.
Thank you you are speaking the truth but they are "free" yes to kill themselves and others. Thank you woke hypocrites!
The answer is JESUS. Cast those demons out. It’s spiritual warfare. Read the HOLY BIBLE and learn all about it. CALL ON JESUS’ NAME TODAY!
Our courts are a huge failure in every aspect.
Same here in British Columbia. My 24 year old son was living on the street, until he almost drowned sleeping on the beach. Police certified him in the community twice, hospitalized but between his dad and him got him out after short stays. Now he is a zombie, shadow of the beautiful soul he is, medicated to nothingness. To get further help, his dad nor myself can take him in because then he is not eligible for supportive housing. None of this makes sense. So now everyday he is living with extreme anxiety & stress cannot work and is living in a shared house at $800/mo for one tiny bedroom & a shared bath.
Disgusted & Devastated
Yeah, our mental health “system” in Canada sucks too. I’m a teacher and parent in Ontario and what disgusts me the worst is being hands-tied as a teacher as you see kiddos with mental health needs and know it’ll take years to get them even basic support. It’s a much easier thing to manage when they’re younger. Of course, not all things show up in kids-eg schizophrenia-but if we cut the curve on waiting until they’re older for all…put the funding in, for Pete’s sake…we’d have a much healthier (mentally) adult society. We’ve reintroduced cursive writing here, though, so kudos to priorities, eh?
@@pinlight97 Are you saying that the time teachers spend teaching cursive could be used in a way that would effectively combat the mental health crisis in adults? I don't really see the string connecting the two. Alternatively, are you suggesting that extra funding is being funnelled away from mental health care for adults to fund teaching cursive? Very odd way to end your otherwise spot-on argument.
#BeyondTragic | Hunter Graham is a much stronger and better human that I'll ever be.
Hunter, I am so so so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry the system failed you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It can't ever fix or make up for what you're going through, but you are helping others in the future. Sending you so much love 💜💜💜💜💜
Absolutely heartbreaking... It truly seems almost all of our systems in American society are in NO way safety nets but reservoirs of absolute last resort that are only available to you once you have failed spectacularly, whatever that looks like for you. And that's not to say anyone even did anything wrong, just like in this case, as it's been said, "it's possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life."
Oregon and other states lack comprehensive mental health programs.
Current policies for mental illness need to be changed.
There needs to be mental health mandates for those who are severely mentally ill. In state hospital settings. Back in the day if you were severely mentally disabled unstable to care for yourself, you were mandated for treatment until you were stable enough to return to the community or home .
There are too many people on the streets that need mental health care in a state structured hospital setting. Unfortunately the system is not capable of treating severely mentally ill citizens.
Who is competent to set mental health mandates?
it IS capable. that's the problem. the people who run the system shut down programs and give themselves higher salaries, or embezzle the money.
@@onniegranados8489 shut up.
In MI, we got rid of mental health institutions decades ago. Our sheriff said that 10% of people in jail
had mental illness and didn't belong there.
I’m sure that’s true. I’m sure there’s people who could use jobs in this field helping society as much as people need care as well.
This is very common. I worked with a guy whose son tried to kill him. He knew his son needed treatment but he couldn't get his son committed. He said he had to give his son to the state in order to get help
My heart goes out to him. It's tragic that Austin didn't get the help he needed for his mental health. If you're diagnosed with cancer you get treatment but there aren't enough resources/awareness for mental health illnesses.
Its not just Oregan its nationwide! No help getting involuntary committment and medication !
It’s been like that since I believe the 80’s people fought so hard to get rid of the system of being able to forcibly remove people from society that this is the consequences of it.
This is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever heard. That poor man. Sir, you did not fail your son or your wife. You did all that you could. It’s time to hold the ones who should have done everything they could have to help your son be accountable. Your wife’s blood is on that judge’s hands, and on the disgusting state of Oregon. I’m so so sorry for the pain you have to endure. My heart is broken for you.
My heart is broken for this poor man and his family. I am so sorry for your loss.I don't know what the answer is but we desperately need change in how we deal with different types of mental illness. Now this poor kid has to live the rest of his life incarcerated and medicated knowing exactly what his disease caused to happen. My prayers are with this family.
Unethical to meditate someone so sick? What is wrong with the Oregon state law?????
Right to autonomy, self determination and risk. They needed a judge to step up and create a care plan that the individual must abide by or be incarcerated in a mental health facility. People can be made to go to a particular pharmacy (based on geographical location) to be dispensed that dose of medication which must be consumed in front of the pharmacist. If they don't then the police visit to the individual is undertaken to have the individual taken into custody. It's this sort of mandates that save lives and saves the community $.
It's everywhere
As a person who had actually been on anti-psychotics (I'm not psychotic, I'm angry): they don't work for most of the people who take them. They just give them to people as a "shut up and go away" pill. They give anti-psychotics to people with autism, too, for that same reason. There's really no treatment for people to stop being anxious/depressed/manic/psychotic.
@ferrisulf you said it!
Speaking as a person who's actually on these medications: they have tons of negative side-effects, and the positives are negligible. Tardive dyskinesia, type 2 diabetes, weight gain, liver damage, neuroleptic malignant syndrome, etc. You can't force somebody to take medications against their will, even if they're potentially beneficial. I mean, I've heard of doctors prescribing anti-psychotics to people with autism just to shut them up.
They don't actually treat psychosis. They just make people more compliant. It is actually unethical to force people to take potentially harmful medications against their will, in my opinion.
(Incidentally, I'm not psychotic and they still prescribed them to me. I'm justifiably angry at being abused for half of my life.)
The Right to Self Determination must be challenged for the safety and cohesion of a healthy society. It does not have to be the old brutal ways of our old mental institutions. What’s happening now is just cruel another form of cruel and unusual punishment. How on earth is it ok to allow the mentally ill and addicted to languish on the streets living like subhumans and zero care… it is no wonder that social workers, Lawyers, medical and health professionals call it The Right to Fail!
I don't know this comment section is full of dehumanizing comments like "we should bring back the mental institutions and make them do force labor" or "we should also experiment medically on them" basically just disregarding the rights of a human being that will only make people suffer more
Families hands are tied when it comes to mental health 'children' i am so very sorry. I don't believe there is a way to end this, not in my life time anyway. An adult can't be forced into mental health treatment.
This happened to my daughter as well. Got her hospitalized, but because of HIPA weren’t allowed to talk to treating physicians to give them her history or support. She was very sick and delusional.
Like psychologists even want to do their jobs.
I had 22 month psychotic break. Went a year plus unmedicated. Went on antipsychotics they barely did anything. Every time I walked into a mental health professionals office they would shoo me away with microaggressions or make an excuse to not work with me.
I finally through trial and error and a lot of research figured out I have a folate deficiency due to my alcaholism. I take supplements now and am completely recovered. All without the help of the psychiatric establishment.
I’m very lucky, I’m very well educated and very medically savvy because I was introduced to medicine when I was a medic in the army.
The psychiatric establishment isn’t even professionally trustworthy, they barely have any idea what they’re doing. They just think those little pills are magic and half the time they have negative effects.
There are many 'mental health professionals' who actually go out of their way to NOT take on difficult cases. They want easy clients for less stress at work.
@@sorrynormal6551 they also like day drinking in their offices 🤣
I am so glad you are doing better. You could be an excellent mentor to others who are suffering.
@@janeclayton151 thank you that means a lot.
Maybe they just don't like you because you are an A-hole and not as smart as you think you are. Or maybe it really is everyone else's problem, who knows.
I’m so sorry for what this family had to go through, it breaks my heart. I’m a fellow Endocrinologist as well. And to think that she was a prominent doctor and she couldn’t even get her son the help he needed, despite her best efforts, leads me to think there’s no hope for the rest in this system. May she rest in peace knowing her son is getting better 😢. What a tragedy.
I’m so sorry! Head trauma is devastating, and there isn’t much help. My brother used to run all the time and after all the meds his brain was eaten up and he died.
It’s a lot of States that are like this 😭😭😭😭
Nationwide problem.
This is truly heartbreaking. So sad for both Dad & Austin. Dads immense grief, pain & love for both his wife & son; copious weeping. Speechless.
The medical examiner didn’t know she died by strangulation? Wow !! I’m sorry his wife had to lose her life so his son could get the mental health treatment he needed .. 😢
My heart goes out to this man, it's hard to describe how horribly painful it is when you have a child that is not well... I hope someday he will have peace and healing in his life. 😢🙏🏼
This death was totally avoidable....how dare they say he wasn't an immediate threat?! This is shameful.
Parents' hands are basically tied unless the person you are trying to help is willing to get help. Been there - it's a struggle. Laws need to change. Even if they are teens, in my state, unless they agree, you can't do anything.
its the same in Ohio, i guess all over the states . they threw out the baby with the bath water, when they changed the laws to protect the mentally disable. this also includes drug addictive and chronic alcoholic. we need reform .
Do you think the mentally ill shouldn't be protected? Do you think they should just be locked in a facility most likely to be mistreated,abused and neglected? Is that your big solution?
I worked in outpatient behavioral health for 15 years. The care was reckless, sporadic and unethical.
There would be 5 appointment time slots for 50 people calling for help. The psychiatrists would spend only 5 to 10 minutes doing medication evaluations...like in a revolving door style. The clients knew they were getting shoddy care and there was NOTHING they could do about it.
This is tragic. Prayers for the family. It is similarly hard to get treatment for severe alcoholics or drug addicts.
This is so very sad an what we dont realize is many elderly parents are taking care of they're mentally ill children its very sad there are not very many options for long term care anymore .
I'm so sorry for your loss... and sir, you did NOT "fail".. you worked hard to get the treatment he need3d...my God..tragic for sure.. our health care system just sucks so bad..even when you have insurance ... may she rest in peace...
and praying peace over you.. 🙏
Agreed. Mental health should be a priority. We need to Take care of our own. I’d rather give taxpayer paid meds and therapy to those who need it, than to give all the money used for illegals.
This is the problem right here in this country. How are you quick to point the fingers and blame immigrants when the US government is funding Israel billions every single year, israel may I add give both free education and healthcare to their citizens. While people over here can’t even afford basic healthcare or groceries in some cases.
Use your brain, the government needs people like you to be focused on the wrong things and blame poor people who have nothing to do with why your life may be shit.
Glad someone said it..
10000%
100% agree!!!!
Sad sad look what had to happen to get treatment. The system failed you all
Not sure why so much suffering like this has to take place before people can get help. The fathers heart gets no relief because he doesn’t even have his son to grieve with him. There’s no sharing of memories, nothing. If she had cancer he could have received care but because it’s a mental health issue no one will do anything. I’m so sorry this had to happen. It sure shouldn’t have!
So sorry for Austin and his family.
It is not just Oregons system but the whole countrys system. I feel so bad for this man , not only did he lose his wife but also lost his son mentally/ My husband is in the hospital for mental illness and they said they can not keep him there because he is not suicidal and are insurance stays so many days he can stay. Our county fails at helping people and would rather give millions of $$$ to other countries.
My heart breaks for you dad. I see this happening here in Canada too. A 15 yr old boy stabbed in the stomach on his way home from swimming by a guy authorities knew was dangerous but was in and out of a psych ward. I see it in Italy too. So sad. Our mental health systems need to do early intervention. And when concerns are expressed they need to be taken seriously. When parents know they need help, it should be there. Bless you and your dear wife.❤ May you son finally get all the help he needs and may you both heal.
It should never be easy to take someone’s civil rights away, but I have to admit, as a mental health professional, it is heartbreaking to watch people who are psychotic deteriorate and watch their family go through hell. Our family personally went through this kind of hell when my grandson’s father became psychotic. We knew my four year old grandson was in danger, but the court systems and department of human services child welfare focused more on the dad’s rights than my grandson’s safety. It was a long process and my grandson still has effects from the trauma he experienced from his dad but eventually we were able to get his dad committed. My heart goes out to this family.