"Your Marriage May Not Make It If You Don't Do This!"
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
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It’s amazing to me how complicated some people’s lives are………based on the choices they made. 🙃
Yup. That’s why Dave fire’s employed who have kids out of wedlock!
@@MooMoo69556 ah another foolish person
As a divorce attorney myself who deals with marriage and custody cases I can say I agree 100% with the advice Dave gave. I doubt this lady will take that advice given what I heard in this call. But it’s good advice.
I love when Dave presses the mute/off button when he’s had it 😂
Dont use "time with my son" as an excuse to ruin your finances. Also, my wife and I lived separately for seven months when I took a consulting gig. We still kept our finances together. I thought it would be tougher on her, but she said it would be tougher on me. It was. I was so happy to get back home!!
She keeps saying yea, yea , yea, but she won’t do anything they tell her to do.
Their marriage is already over. He’d rather stay in Maryland and she prefers her son. Not blaming anyone, but it’s over.
I can’t even fathom how complicated people make their lives. People often talk about divorce and how it’s no big deal, the kids will be better off etc. Holy moly - my head hurts thinking about her situation with her son from a previous marriage in a different state, her husband in a different state. And she seems sort of oblivious to Dave’s solid advice. You can almost tell that she’s not really gonna do anything he said.
This woman has no desire to be married. Dave is right that she needs to treat her husband more important than her son in MS. Divorce is the only solution here.
No, she should fly the kid to her. He will love it. Maybe he will become a pilot.
@@georgewagner7787 She said she wanted to get a place in MS, not fly the kid to her. She wants a divorce, but doesn't want to look like the bad person here by pulling the trigger.
1st husband.....would love to hear what he has to say about this fiasco
Praise the Lord, both Dave *AND* John were together at the same time for this call!!!!!
“Yeah”
-Chelsea 2023
😂😂😂
She could fly first class for the next 6 years to see her son and still not spend what she'd spend on a house.
Wise people simplify problems while stupid people complicate things.
It would be cheaper for her to fly every other weekend to where her son is or fly him to her every other weekend than it would be to maintain a second house away from her husband. This is crazy, her home away from home isn't even close to her child right now.
The thing is, kids get into sports, clubs, girl or boy friends as they get older. She shouldn't ruin her marriage when the boy may not want to spend that much time with her. Just buy a few plane tickets.
This was a profoundly sad and yet desperately insightful video i appreciated what John & Dave said i sincerely hope she chose wisely
Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh huh, yeah, right, yeah, yeah you're right.
Totally
Only a woman would think this plan is a good one. She lives an 1.5 hours away from her son, and for what? Why is her son so far away in the first place ? Bad decisions. Why is she living away from her husband? Bad decisions. Why is she a recovering addict? Bad decisions. SHE is a Walking bad decisions.
Why she's a recovering addict, is not the point.
There's 100% a reason she's single. After hearing her talk I feel bad for the dad, I can only imagine what he had to put up with. Itll be a blessing to all men for her to stay single
At least she is trying to get her sh!t together. I know some would never do that.
She doesn’t even care about her marriage, the “yeah” she keeps saying means she’s already thought about this. Also her desperation to be around her son is probably because she was a bad mom and is trying to make up for it.
The husband got a good paying job. Them these people want him to just drop everything?
She works from home. She can work anywhere.
She's not apart for her job...
She's apart for separation from bad influences that promoted her addiction, plus trying to be closer to the kid she lost custody of when her previous marriage collapsed from her addiction.
Yes she can do her job just about anywhere.
She can't meet her other needs in the city where her almost-husband lives.
So he decided job was more important than her.
The decision has really been made. They just haven't done the paperwork.
@@fhuber7507 She can visit her kids every couple months.
He shouldn't have to drop everything just for her.
@@jimmymcgill6778 She’s his wife, not some 3rd rate distant relative.
@@montymython754 Does not mean that she should drop everything for her.
It sounds like she wouldn't do the same for him.
@@jimmymcgill6778 He married her knowing her constraints. Kids and staying sober trump jobs. If he didn’t like that trade off, he should not have married her.
Lesson of the day is: husbands always come last for single mothers. Avoid them unless you like being treated like an atm and nothing else.
Gross
Very very true. Made that mistake, best thing I ever did was kick them tf out.
I’m many many cases this is true.
And she's a former addict
Spot on. Dated too many but then married the complete opposite. Best decision I’ve made love life wise was to ditch the single mom complex.
She's not asking for advice she's asking for permission. Yeah.
Life is simple. And people simply screw it up.
You marry and make vows with your spouse. Not your child.
Go move back in with your husband in Maryland.
He probably has a vested interest in his railroad job & is waiting on his retirement.
Negotiate with your ex, in taking your son during the summertime 3 months.
And Face time & occasional visits the rest of the year.
She's a druggie
She’s still a single mom wanting to be married . Tell her to end this and give that guy a chance 💯
She needs to listen & think and stop taking & saying yeah.
I do believe she is still an addicted trying to do her recovery.
Sees her son every other weekend in the summer and sees her husband every six weeks? None of this makes sense
Why is everyone calling her a single mother? She doesn't do any mothering at all. She barely has custody, married to a guy 1000 miles away and doesn't have a home.
And she doesn't even live in the same state as her son. He lives in MS so I moved to... AL?
At 12 yrs old, no son wants to hang out with thier mother
Yeah at that age I remember things like standing over dad before sunrise waking him up fully dress with my fishing gear ready to go and my mom laughing getting up to make us a quick breakfast before we leave.
While this can be true but that doesn't mean her responsibility is over. She needs to be there for her boy. It's nothing wrong when a mother wants to be closer to her son.
Not true.
Boys need their mothers. Maybe not to “hang out” with but for emotional / moral support. Girls need their dads just as much!
They need to know the parent is there for them.
I have a blended family and I can understand her feeling of wanting to be close to her child, and especially at such a young age. It can impact her mental health to move that far away. Especially having dealt with addiction, there’s probably some level of guilt she’s dealt with.
but the hard part is that she is already married with this separated living situation in place, which makes it harder to make these decisions after the fact.
I pray that God would show her and her family the best possible solution 🙏
Our oldest daughter went to live with her dad at 12 and we didn't see her for 6 years. She has turned out fine and is studying to be an electrical engineer.
That's your choice. You can't ask a mom to abandon her child completely. If you are okay but not seeing your child for 6 years that's a new thing. However I don't blame her because once male children about 15 16 she probably won't need to live there because he'll be so busy with his friends anyway she would barely see him.
she doesn't want to be married...
No one spotted this: Where was she in her son's life for the past 10 YEARS or where was she in her husband's life for the past 5 YEARS!? She has been sober 10 years and her son is 12. So she has been sober all this time, but is only seeing him every other weekend in the summer because she lives 1.5 hours away even down south in Alabama. When did she move back to Alabama? How long has she been away from her husband? This woman pretend-plays mom and pretend-plays wife.
If the husband's career demands a ton of time away from home, living in different states may not be that different from living in the same house considering she does visits every month. She needs to get custody changed to a big block of time in summer or holidays and allow the bio dad to parent in peace the rest of the time. She's young enough to have children with her new husband.
What a mess of a life...
husband has done his best to stay employed the best way he can. it is a wife's obligation to follow that lead and serve that goal.
she needs to go where he is.
On cue, they blame the husband.
Always. Even when it obviously the wife.
This is a Christian based podcast, Jimmy…The man is the leader of the house. Just like at a job, the leader is where ALL the blame falls. Always. That’s how most companies work. Her husband leads her & guides her. God said WHERE ARE YOU to the MAN. To Adam. Eve ate the apple first.
@@OopThereItIs77777 Yeah most likely the wife doesn't take his lead. She's not even in the same time zone as he is.
@@OopThereItIs77777 Shut up.
@@djpuplex That’s true. To that, they usually say counseling. Something is off with her for sure
She's married, but don't want to live with her husband?
She can move with her husband. And can always visit her son ever few months.
She is like yea yea yea... ok than
She doesn't care about the husband
For the court to give her such limited responsibility for the kid after this many years. Wow. She needs to be careful not to go off the rails. No pun
The court is one thing, but there might be still some issues with her ex. As far as visitation, what courts rule doesn't have to be set in stone. ex. the court order might say she only sees her son every other weekend. But if the father doesn't have a problem with her getting an extra weekend every now and then, they don't need to go to court to let that happen.
John and Dave doesn't understand how hard it is to get a job with the railroads. If I was the husband I wouldn't leave my job. Plus some people marriages work better when they don't see each other everyday. If he leaves that job and move away with her to be closer to a son that's not his, he will be miserable for the rest of his life.
Sad but good, honest advice on her situation.
As a father myself, I just can’t understand how these parents seem to invest so much on their children like they’ll be around all their adult lives or something. The job of a parent is to teach their children about life and to get them ready for it. Kids being so looked after is the reason we have these generations of useless, pampered, selfish young adults running around destroying everything in their paths and blaming everyone else for their lot in life. The desperation of this woman to be close to her son at the expense of her own marriage tells me where her priorities are. I think this may be more of a case oh her still having feelings towards her ex and wanting to be close to him than anything else. I’d divorce this lady in a heartbeat if she chose to leave me for her almost teenage son.
Same thought. Marriage is more important than parenting.
It's popular culture that sells tye emotional narrative of children over spouse.... It's the reverse and you can save both the marriage and the children.
Exactly
Then out you go. A woman's maternal instinct comes first as the man not the woman sacrifices
Of course she wants to near her son he’s 12. You’ll never get those years back. Kids have to looked after or they could get molested or hurt. Who will teach the kids what they are supposed to know. Mother and father should be near each other
@@katemiller7874 at 12 years of age, that boy needs his father more than he needs his mother.
How selfish is it to expect a mf to buy you a home to be a long distance parent
At 12, I needed my dad, not my mom.
After age 5 both girls and boys need a dad not a mom. Mothers are nurturers which is good for the first 5 years. But once the child enters school age the father needs to teach them how the world works.
@@brianwaller7383 only if the courts would understand this
@@brianwaller7383 I totally agree. But the fathers are so effeminate and weak these days, moms are trying to fill the role and failing miserably.
"And, ye FATHERS, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4 🙏🏾✝🕎
Disagree lol. I’m 30 and I still need my mom
@@ashleycordsen2323 Are you a man or a woman? I think the name "Ashley" makes it clear why you might feel more need of your mom.
What a southern mess
Long distance marriages tend to end when it's no longer long distance...
Because the people learned to live apart except the few weekends or 2 weeks at a time they get together.
You don't develop a relationship this way. You develop life patterns that are incompatible with each other then have a disaster trying to make them work with each other.
She's managing her finances and he's managing his. There is no "WE" in their wedding... It's just a Dding.
Order of priorities; God; Spouse; Children.
What?? Why isn't she living with her husband. She works from home.
Is she listening?
Why get married then if son was always the priority? It's unfair to the husband. What is he supposed to do, till the son is 18? Live alone for 6 years?
She didn't hear a word they said
Sounds like a country song
Craziness, humans are crazy.
I don’t think she loves her husband. That 12 year old boy doesn’t need her around, he only needs his father. These bad mothers always play the victim.
Meal ticket
A mother without full custody??,... or get a divorce with no benefits and let that man go make more$$$ while u be with ur child
this lady is craxy
Homeslice don't buy the single mother a house you can find someone else who wants to be with you fulltime.
So she lost the son, probably because of drug use, and now she wants her kid back. She should show up as much as possible, but the kid is used to his situation now.
Why isn't she going through the court system to gain custody or rework the custody arrangement
Classic terrible Mom trying to make up for lost time.
This situation is a hot mess!
What is your husband doing and why are you not with him? What's the solution? Do what you got to do, get to your husband, spend time w/your son.
She chose her son over her husband. The lesson is, never marry a woman with a child. There is a reason why the other man left her. You can date or play with them but never marry unless you’re in the same situation. It’s just not fair. I doubt she will chose her husband.
You think it's wrong to prioritize your child over your spouse?
@@fortyseventhronin yes
@@fortyseventhronin yes
@@fortyseventhronin yep. It's a balance but your spouse comes first.
@@fortyseventhronin This is why divorce and cheating happens. The woman puts the kid first and all of a sudden the man gets less attention and feels resentment.
Your kids always come before a spouse. Not even a question. If you think otherwise then you’re the problem.
Why kids are there for 18 years spouses are suppose to be there for a lifetime…
I actually disagree with this lol
Wife first and then pour into children.
There are marriages where I see them staying together because of “children”…so toxic
@jeff Thank you finally someone with sense and he said kids not adult children
The rise of the son husbands and cat care products.
P my advice would be to try to get custody of her kids. It seems like the dad has had the kids for a while now it's her turn to have her child. I would go back to the courts and try to get custody of my kids. She's been sober for 10 plus years
That’s not how that works.
One needs to wait 1 year prior to marriage
This is why you never get tied up with a single mother. They all act selfish and erratic like this woman, then they expect the men to fund their nonsense.
if your mom gave up attempts to see you at the age of 12 because she married another man, then it would be another point of contempt. there is no winning.
Prayers go out to Chelsea that’s a tough situation
God bless her
Delony got his PhD from Simpy Wimpy University. Good god that was horrendous advice and painful to listen to.
Let me heat your advice
Lol it’s funny you think you have better advice than a guy that has 2 phds. One in counseling and mental health too!
Why did she get married? Just so she could say she was married??
Thanks!
@@TheAck201 Because I choose to. 🤗 😊
Dave is absolutely correct, unless your son is not safe. You need to be with your husband. At 12 I move cross country away from my mother with my dad. We both survived. You can bring your son out for month or so during the summer.
If you son is not safe with your ex then you need to hire a lawyer and get custody.
She needs to get a better custody agreement. Period. All money needs to go towards a good lawyer and she needs to go back and be with her husband. End of story.
Buy a 2nd house to live closer to your son is up there with the guy who spent a $75k truck to save on uhaul. Its a weird decision
if she has a substance abuse problem their money needs to not be combined. money should never be combined anyway but even more so in this case
She doesn't think clearly. Two years from now they will likely be divorced because somehow they just drifted apart...
The man will not leave the railroad.
He is close to retirement at young age.
That's why he not leaving
Husband and wife living in different states? That’s a situational relationship, not a marriage. Make that a long distance situational relationship. I could understand if the husband is in the military. But why y’all got married in the first place if you’re just gonna live separately? Dave’s right come together first with your marriage and then deal with the welfare of the 12yo. You ain’t giving him a good role model when he sees his mother living alone in a house when she’s actually married. What’s better is exposing him to a stable environment where two loving adults are together under on roof. But as always, we don’t know the whole story. There might be other factors in play here.
They are not married at this point.
I wouldn’t buy a second house 🏡 for that reason especially with $72k of loan debt 💸 if you really feel that way just get primary custody of the child 👧🏽 and move to Maryland.if you can’t just get your husband to move down to Alabama if he really loves you he will do it
She still talks like shes tweakin, maybe not but i know tweakers when i hear em. They kept telling her that her marriage is on fire and shes like ya all nonchalant lol. Almost like she’s thinking thats a great idea
The financial fix is simple math, but the human factors turn this situation into a complexed equation that may defy her "solution".
She explained her situation, but I'm not sure she knows what her solution is (Dave/other guy suggest they know what it is)?
She knows her situation but doesn't seem to know her solution (is the husband worth having an extended relationship with her son?).
It's like being unhappy where you are, but not understanding/knowing where you want to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.........
This is why you never wife up a single mother
Everyone in the comments is talking about she’s doing wrong. What about the husband? If my wife said I need to be closer to myself son. I’d be right behind her.
Why is she living in Alabama when her son lives in Mississippi? Sell the Maryland home and pay the student loans your husband and you need to live together. This is confusing as hell.
I keep telling my daughter us the life you. Want being with a person you only see 10 days out of the month. You like being alone, he already told , you he loves his job and will never quit.😢
12 year old son and been a recovering addict for 10 years so the son and the dad got the hell out of the picture, i feel bad for the new guy. She needs to move to MD and try to set up a longer time the kid can stay with them not move closer to the kid. The guy in MD is crazy!
Husband needs to RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think her husband should stay put in Maryland. It sounds like he got a great job, and she never told him before marriage that she was going to move south after marriage. According to Dave, her husband should move closer to her ex-husband. What if the boy's dad doesn't like it. Things there may escalate on so many different levels.
Sounds like she has a son husband
When the child is young, it's irresponsible to leave them alone. The kid is 12 year old, do you expect him to survive on his own for being a 12 year old and having a loveless mom?
If you're worried about being in your child's life, you don't get divorced.
Woah, take it easy there. Keep talking like that and they’ll put you beyond the walls.
@@richthepup unfortunately she is not interested in being a wife as evident she has no interest. This marriage is toast as women vote with their feet. Rules for the betas break em for the alpha. She put him in the beta category
John just blamed the man outta no where
Why is the 12 year old in Mississippi away from the parents?
She explained in the call, it's her son from a previous marriage.
@@froggore52 She wanted to be with her son in MS so she moved to... Alabama. How does that make sense.
bro if my mom fucking had that last bit of advice my adolescence would've done me a lot more good than bad.
I would put my son first too though, so I’d have to set that guy free. Her son is 12 not an adult, and she will regret not spending that time. Nobody in the world would cause me to stay away from my kids.
What the eff did I just listen to?...live edit, they threw it on the man. Shocker.
To be fair, there are plenty of spouses/families that spend significant time apart due to career obligations. Shout out to my military friends. People do what they gotta do to make it work. The husband wasn't heard on this call. Maybe he's okay with the arrangement. Maybe he can only stand her for a week or two at a time. We don't know, and nobody asked him.
But in this case the finances don't work. I have a friend who became a trucker to support his family and only gets home every other weekend. But it's financially beneficial, not detracting from it