This trauma continues when you don't have anyone to share your experience with. It suffocates you inside and nothing helps. Letting out these feelings is so important in the transformation out of this terrible sadness.
I have experience my wife disappearing one morning, and other tragedies. I asked at an AA meeting if there was anyone who had ever experienced the problem. Out of hundreds of people, not one. I was publicly slandered at the same meeting accused of being a predator to the new girls and this was to the general meeting. I went to other meetings and asked some old timers if they have experienced such a thing or heard of it in AA. No one knows what I'm talking about, some even told me to shut up. Imagine that! Supposed to be "loving and accepting" in AA. Some hypocrites running around out there. Even my sponsor at the time told me to "Accept it and let it go!" OK, mini psychologist.
With his betrayal with a younger woman after 36 years of marriage my world just fell apart 😢 even now after 1 year since he moved out I am still devastated and heartbroken. His life has gone on but mine is at a still stand. I have sleepless nights, I have lots of health issues and the humiliation just kills me.
I'm sad that you have been devastated by this betrayal. You indeed can feel stuck within the memory of what happened and the turmoil of feelings from it. If you want to process this and heal, you can call 719-278-3708 to get with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center. You don't have to be alone in this. We also have a Formers Partners Facebook group you can join: facebook.com/groups/divorcedpartnersofsa
I am there too. We deserve so much better. These people are scum. If you can, try to see it as you have been spared all of the vileness this man. I know how easy that is to say. I see my ex as dead, who she is now disgusts me. But when you have kids, it is a life sentence. You are so much better than him and the woman who have the morals of a sewer
He’s the same person, he’s doing to her exactly what he did to you. He’s probably lying to her, cheating, putting her down…you are free now. Force yourself to go out with friends, go to a spa, start a journal, cook your favorite foods, take it easy and find a good therapist!! 35 years survivor here, it took me a year and a half to grieve the marriage , get over the shock(his secret 36 year old wh0re, and then his cancer spread and I took care of him the last 4 months. That was hard because I hated him by then. You’re not alone, it will get better and you will come to accept that you really are better off. Hugs and healing ❤️🩹 don’t give up
I'm crying... I've NEVER been so validated. I forgave. I thought I was healed but I'm not the same person anymore. I became someone else over 30 years ago. I lost me.
@@MN-us8dv in saying a prayer for you. I don't know if you've heard of her or not but I highly recommend Leslie Vernick. She has an AMAZING way of clearing the confusion and helping to recognize what brings the anxiety. Also, Lysa Terkuerst, who stated opening my eyes to this whole HURRICANE I'm walking through right now. ❤️🩹 It's an awful ride alone.
Everything you mentioned, I have been feeling for over 8 years now. My husband kept on with his lifestyle, but was lying about stopping. I can’t take him serious anymore. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Thank you for this talk. Lord bless you 🙏✝
The trauma is real many years later. He is dead, but I may write letter to him about the pain & trauma he caused me. We separated in 1992, now at 71 years old, it still hurts soooo much.
Oh Lady, does your post ever hit home. My wife of 52 years passed in June. I had surmised but didn’t have proof she had an affair with one of the coaches at my Sons school some 30 odd years ago. She always lied and said “nothing ever happened”. On her deathbed she finally admitted to the affair along with the obligatory “I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you and I always loved you”. I needed some questions answered but at that point she became unable to communicate. At 76 years of age I am just too damn old to have my butt kicked like this.
2 years now out of a toxic relationship and I still feel the betrayal from time to time. It just a reminder to never look back and always move forward. Grow and self reflect on my mistakes as well
About to celebrate 14yrs together. 3 years ago my reality exploded. I found out my fiancé and father to my 2 kids was on dating sites, contacting exes, escorts and trying to date multiple other women. I knew for about 5 years they he was being shady I never had the proof to confront him. When I did get the proof I broke. I had an emotional and mental breakdown which led to me becoming physically ill. I packed bags and left he begged cried and pleaded for me to Come home. We did therapy at his request and I can honestly say I’m glad I stayed. Yes he hurt me. He betrayed me…but he put the work in to make our relationship whole again.
True. I feel shattered. Also like my heart was ripped apart, my soul completely broken and I can't find joy anymore. It's also like a rollercoaster ride of feelings and sometimes I just feel numb. That's what hapoened after my husband's infidelity with his disgusting AP. And she knew he was married with kids and didn't say no. So I hold her just as guilty. Trying to mend our marriage but I'm still hurting. The pain is unbearable sometimes. 😢
I'm sorry for the betrayal and trauma that you are experiencing right now. Your pain and grief are real. It is important for you to have healing and support during this time. If you need to talk to a counselor, you can call us at 719-278-3708 and we can get you scheduled. We also have a Partners phone group and Facebook group that offers support that you can join. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
@@fifermom1 The hurt and pain will soften, but I think will always be there in the background even though I love my husband and our marriage has gone through fire. I'm starting to trust him, but not fully. He has showed me and still does, that he really loves me, he feels bad for all the pain and hurt and sacrificed a lot to show me that I can trust him. For example, skipping business trips, going to concerts by himself etc. I love him so much and I want to trust him again. But realistically, I don't think it'll be 100 % ever again. I only wish his affair partner could pay a bit too. It's not like he was alone in the affair. Sure, I know that sounds vindictive and out of jealousy. And why wouldn't it be? However, I'm not gonna do anything to her. I guess I just have to believe in karma. Um... yeah...
@Bumbledora I feel your pain. I am going through the same crap after he cheated, gave her so much of our money and ....yes gave me sexually transmitted disease. I hurt so much,my heart hurts. I also wish she could also pay a little bit but I am leaving this to karma.
@@ellenpaul678 He gave you a sexually transmitted disease. Omg! I feel so bad for you. I actually checked myself if he'd given me that too, but I was lucky. I'm not out of the woods yet. We've been working on our marriage, but it'll take a long time for me to ever trust him again. I still hate her. She knew exactly what he wanted and yet, decided to be a culprit to my now broken heart. I love my husband very much, but jeez... he was fooled by her. I'm not saying he's innocent or so, far from it, but he wasn't alone in this affair. There are always 2. I want to destroy her, but like you, I have to trust in karma. And yes, I do believe in karma actually. I have to work a lot on myself. Everything from now on, since I managed to get out of the heavy fog of betrayal, I'm doing what's in my best interest. Some may find it peculiar to stay with a cheating spouse, but life or love isn't black or white. I send you thoughts, love and hugs from Sweden 🌹💗
Wife decided after we got married that she wanted an open relationship. I said No but that didn’t stop her. When I finally caught on to how bad things were, she was seeing 8 different guys , hooking up with 2 a week and rotating them on a monthly basis. It amazes me that society thinks that cheating and betrayal is only a man’s issue.SMH !!!!
It’s the first thing I noticed, always the presumption that it’s the men at fault that’s exactly what the family courts do as well. My wife ran off with my married friend. I worked my balls off for four years to put her through university, not a nice guy anymore just a good guy but I still have no feelings twenty years later have and any relationship I’m in I’m ready to walk away from at the drop of a hat with no fuss or bother, the juice ain’t worth the squeeze. If you want a friend, companionship, love and loyalty get a dog
Same with me I got married to my high school sweetheart from age of 17. My first love. Married for 8 years now but going through a separation and a divorce. He cheated on me while I was pregnant and gave him a chance now after 3 years I found out he has a sex addiction and he is been cheating on me throughout the relationship whole 15 years 😢😢 He has never loved me.
Me too. Together since 17, married 24 years. I still cry and am lost broken and damaged. it's 10 years since I first found out about the porn prostitutes and affair, 8 years since he left me and kids for her. I thought we were happy for life.
Man this is hitting me like a runaway train..... Thank you for posting this video it's been 15 years since the first time my wife had an affair & it still comes back & haunts me to this day
I hope you get some help, you are still in trauma. Doug's counselors are amazing. I don't want to live a half life and I think you want the same. Prayers.
This explains the feelings that I went through better than any other video on you tube. I woke up to real life and real people and real games. The type of games that change people forever ! I thought I'd seen it all. Thank God for videos like this. Peace to everyone who finds themselves here.
Your feelings from this type of betrayal are valid. You can call Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 and get booked with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists. We also have a Partners Facebook group you can join as well. You are not alone in this and you can still receive the healing and support that you need. facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I'm sad to hear that you are still being traumatized by this. Your feelings are valid. You don't have to stay stuck like this however. If you haven't already, I suggest getting healing and support for yourself. You can contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 to get with one of our therapists to help you through this, as well as join a support group. You are not alone in this.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏My prayers have been answered!!! Mu husband ALLLLLLWAYS shows deflective traits and in the end I end up with all the unanswered questions..for the sake of peace in my household because he somehow twist the finger pointing back at him
I'm so sorry that your life has been so deeply impacted by this. Your partner betrayal trauma is valid. If my team can help you in any way, please contact our office at 719-278-3708 and you can get scheduled with a partner betrayal trauma therapist who will walk through this with you and help you heal. For additional support, consider joining our Former Partners Facebook group to connect with a community of women who understand what you're going through: facebook.com/groups/divorcedpartnersofsa You can also check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook, as they were created to provide not only validation for your situation but also help you work through it toward healing. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/
It ruined me, I still cry everyday and don't know how to go on. I feel so alone , my world has been rocked. I don't know how people survive in this world without a relationship with God. You could never predict what tomorrow brings. The biggest issue I have is why they left, the wound is so open because I don't know why.
The grief that you are experiencing right now is valid. You don't have to stay stuck this way, walking around wounded. Here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center, we have trained therapists dedicated to helping people process the trauma that they have gone through and help them move forward in life. Contact us at 719-278-2708 to get scheduled and start the path towards healing.
Shattered indeed. But I was overwhelmed and stopped being there. So my efforts had lapsed; not justifying, just being honest. She works at his company still.
If you need help dealing with this, you can get with one of our therapists for a session at 719-278-3708. You deserve to have a safe place of support and validation for what you are feeling. Depending on your situation, you might find the resources on the Partner Betrayal Trauma website useful: partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/
I was discarded by a covert narcissist. She pretty much had me in fake world of love for 12 years. When she discarded me, she made me feel so betrayed it was ridiculous. The nastiness. The insults. The blame for her issues. The blame for her life. The lies. Then the lost break up attacks. The way she is going out her way to destroy me. Like the trauma of the breakup is not enough to hurt me
I'm sorry to hear of the betrayal trauma you have experienced. If you'd like, you can call us at 719-278-3708 and get scheduled to speak with one of our therapists to help work through this. You are not alone.
this video is really insightful and beautifully presented. i appreciate how you tackled such a complex topic. that said, it seems to me that focusing too much on the pain can sometimes overshadow the healing journey. what do you all think about the balance between processing hurt and moving forward?
I am experiencing all that you said. I’ve known he was unfaithful for 15 years but now I realize he may be a sex addict. I am in trauma, it’s overwhelming and almost paralyzing. I’m watching your videos daily.
Your trauma and pain from experiencing this is valid. If you need support, you can call us at 719-278-3708 to get scheduled with a counselor/coach. We also have a Partners phone group and Facebook group you can join for community and resources. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
If you need support regarding your betrayal trauma, please contact our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with one of our therapists to help you process this and start healing.
Ive been going through this trauma thing for a really long time and i thought maybe it was over,but no. Yea I tried to trust him again and as i started to let my guard down he betrayed me again. I think maybe i have some trauma going on.
I'm sad to hear that you have experienced this betrayal and broken trust, your pain and trauma is real. If you haven't already, it would be best to talk with a counselor/coach to help you work through this betrayal trauma and receive healing. You can call us at 719-278-3708 and we can schedule you with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists. We also have a Partners phone group and Facebook group you can join for support. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I had this guy that said years ago and he said I will never betray her to my stepmom they stop coming to my state they used to make #1 for years last time they came 2years ago they said you are always #1 don’t change so for two years they haven’t came back sweet to me before that they hugged now they go somewhere else that same state I feel like someone took my spot since the other day almost wanted to go to someone else unless they make up
I’m glad I found out. It ended fast after that, & I blocked them and hopefully a quick divorce. Anyone who’s been betrayed I hope you know it’s not you. It’s not personal. If I could show you the person they cheated with you wouldn’t beleive how ugly this person is it’s almost laughable. The other party is also very dumb. Posting photos of them and thier kids and actually showing the kids passport info on Facebook. 😂. I’d never go back!! Not even after 12years of marriage.
8 days. Lies, revelations are getting worse and worse when he finally confesses some things as it trickles out. 40 years marriage. All emotions. Yes. He doesn't get it yet. Therapy is scheduled and waiting patiently, kinda
What do you do when you find things after the death of a spouse of 53 years . My hero, love of my life , my Marine ! The worst part is , there is a possibility I'm wrong ! Also it's not the porn its the LIE ! We had so many problems when he came home from Vietnam , he always said I took his hand and walked him out of Hell ! Then just before he passed ( lung cancer , I was his sole caregiver )found out we both had HepC , Dr. said it could be in the body for years . He was my only partner , I was NOT his only one , but after what i found , now im afraid he he not only cheated by the porn , but in the real world too . He ALWAYS came home right after work , but over the years i did go out of town , never occured to me to Worry ?! I cannot stop the thoughts , then i worry am i accusing him of something he didn't do ? What if he did have the virus for years , we neither of us ever had an out break , found it with blood test !? I'm going crazy , missing him , loving him , hating him ( a little ) needing him !!! 😢😢
I sware I'm trying I want to move forward and though I have not clue what all has gone on I also don't want to know but I also need to know and so many feelings drowning while I couldn't breath seems similar
So many shrinks in UK don’t get it and if the spouse leaves with AP and you have kids it is pure evil and I am told to let my kids just talk to me about this AP like he is my mate 😡😡😡🙈🙈
Please o have so much to say.i have a story that i need to share that. Would could help heal from this....I just came to realize that I have this.i have severe ptsd,now my own sister has been betraying me all these years.im shattered!
In my case I know my part was that I neglected the relationship since finding out I got pregnant. I was beyond consumed. But I'm told it's still not my fault that he lied and cheated for so long. Then went to get more baby stuff at the apt and he had a girl in bed two months after I confirmed cheating. They did it in my baby's bedroom on my sheets. How do you handle flashbacks
I worked my way through my wife's affair about 1-2 years after the infidelity, or so I thought..... I never went to therapy and now 23 years later it's like my soul has left my body again and my brain is taking reliving all the things I went through back then. I pray every day that God will just let me die. I love my wife even after her affair.. I know it's stupid and damaging to keep on but regardless if anyone believes that "once a cheater always a cheater" I know I'm my heart she has not done it again. It's just that once someone has been betrayed to that measure it's impossible to forget and forgive. My wife was still in highschool when I met her and I was fresh out. Both of us came from broken homes and I know that's no excuse but it doesn't help any relationship when the only thing you have seen your whole life is a dysfunctional family lifestyle.
It is quite a difficult thing to go through partner betrayal trauma and the lingering emotions that stem from it. I'm sad to hear that you are still dealing with this after all this time. I would suggest getting with a therapist so that you can work through properly and finally achieve the healing that you need. You can contact our office at 718-278-3708 to get connected with a male therapist specialized in partner betrayal trauma to walk with you.
I never knew what narcissists were let alone covert narcissists. I still cannot fully believe that there are people like that that exist out there. I still feel as though im in a bad dream and going to wake up from this. But then im still here and its not a dream and hope that i never wake up. I have nothing now. Ive become a meth head just existing everyday because i dont want to think about it all. But thats all i do is think about it all. I used to be somebody. I used to have goals and a purpose and had a plan forca happy life and was making that finally happen. And suddenly overnight its gone. And in the most brutal shocking unempathetic way. Im lost
Betrayal trauma is a difficult thing to experience and it can negatively affect a person's life in many different ways. I understand that you are stuck because of the pain and trauma from what has happened but you don't have to stay that way. It is possible to get unstuck and get healing for yourself and restoration in your life. You can still have goals for life and fulfill them. We have a few resources that you might find helpful. There's our "Unstuck" video that helps you through the process. www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-video-download/ There's also the Partner Betrayal Trauma book/DVD and workbook that validates partner betrayal trauma and provides guidance. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-video-download/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook-ebook/ If you need support, you can get with a local therapist or group locally to deal with both the meth and the betrayal trauma, or contact our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with a therapist to help with the betrayal trauma.
How can you start to heal or even deal with the trauma when you also have BPD? I feel I suffer from that trauma so sever that I have completely lost myself and my being of being here on earth. Please help.
I hate my ex for what he did , I guess I’m in the anger phase. He destroyed my mental health, I feel traumatized I feel panicked I feel like I’m in fight or flight mode
I'm so sorry that your ex's betrayal has impacted you so deeply. I want you to know that what you are feeling is completely valid (as many who have gone through partner betrayal trauma have experienced this). You might find the video download "Partner Betrayal Trauma" for validating the amount of trauma and pain that you have, as well as "Calming the Storm of Anger" which helps partners who are struggling with anger from betrayal trauma. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-video-download/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/calming-the-storm-of-anger-video-download/ It's clear you're carrying a heavy burden, but please remember, you're not alone. Healing from betrayal trauma is a journey-one that often benefits from professional support. At Heart to Heart Counseling Center, we specialize in helping the betrayed navigate the complex emotions and challenges that arise from situations like yours. You deserve a path to healing that's filled with support, understanding, and compassion. If you feel ready, call our office at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists.
Add on to that all your family and friends lying isolating u and this goes on for a course of 5 years or more while you were already recovering from a devastating life altering situation. But I'm lazy
Idk know where to start I was the one who kept my sister after her daughter died mo one could handle her I tried to be the best woman I could to my bf of 9yrs. When he had a bby on me I was devastated I vented to my sister I was so angry she used it all agenst me now they both betrayed me in the worst way I'm scard to vent to anyone anymore. I feel like I'm being played on with the mind games idk what to do I'm going insane
What you’ve shared is incredibly painful, and I’m truly sorry that you've experienced betrayal from both your sister and your boyfriend. The amount of trauma from this is compounded since it comes from those so close to you. It is normal to have trouble trusting others and the feelings you have right now are completely valid. If we can help you in any way, please consider reaching out to our counseling center at 719-278-3708. We have a team of therapists who specialize in addressing betrayal in people's lives, especially partner betrayal trauma. They will compassionately work with you so that you can genuinely process what happened, providing you with validation and encouragement so that you can start healing. I also have a ebook called "Partner Betrayal Trauma" that addresses and validates the feelings and pain that you are dealing with: www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
Would you be able to do an item on Sexting addiction? This differs from Pornography addiction in the sense that it takes place with real women, in real time. In my case: my husband did 4-5 years of endless sexting (text, pictures, videos, etc.) with tens of thousands of women due to depression/ emotional immaturity to handle stress and emotions. Our profound trust in each other's monogamy and the sanctity of our sexual relationship was one of our greatest assets... or so I thought 🙏
I'm sad to hear that you are dealing with betrayal trauma in your relationship. Your feelings are real. In spite of one's age or situation, healing is still possible. You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to book with one of therapists trained in partner betrayal trauma to help you through this. You can also join our Partners Facebook group for support from a community of women. You don't have to go through this alone. The Partner Betrayal Trauma book/DVD and workbook would also be helpful in validating what you feel and providing the information you need in the healing process. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/ You can also check out this RUclips video for guidance on healing and recovering from what has happened: ruclips.net/video/G45ovTebuOk/видео.html
You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 and my staff can see if there are any therapists or groups in your area. We also offer virtual counseling and phone support groups that you can join.
How can I ever be expected to get over the trauma of just being married 3 months and fell pregnant with our 1st child only to find out 42 yrs later that my husband had a 3 Yr affair with my sister who was 15 at the time and I have cancer and a brain tumour and I'm so heartbroken I can hardly function 😢😢😢
No matter what a person goes through, it is possible for them to heal. I"m sorry to hear that you have experienced all this. If you need to get scheduled with a therapist to help you process this, you can contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708. You can also check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook which you might find helpful. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/
Betrayal trauma can come in many forms... my husband tells me he is going to please himself if I do not engage in sex. He also left our faith without considering how it would affect me. HE also spent hours and hours talking to his ex wife when I was pregnant with our son behind my back. (I found out when I got the phone bill) He also ordered a porn movie which I found when I got the bill as well. He served me with divorce papers and after five months decided he still loved me... Years of betrayal resulting in trauma. Years of the silent treatment and decisions as well as discussions behind my back. Am I crazy for thinking I can recover from all of this? I miss my happy joy filled personality but most of all I miss the deep feeling of peace I used to have.
I am sad to hear that you have experienced all these things in your life. Your pain and trauma from this is real. I would suggest getting with a partner betrayal trauma therapist to help you process this and get healing and support for yourself. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our counselors/coaches. We also have Partners support groups for over the phone and on Facebook you can join too. You are not alone in this and it is possible to recover. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I’m really struggling I just found out my partner has been addicted to porn all while I was suffering in a very hard pregnancy a traumatic labor then a bad infection in my c-section scar not able to breast feed ended up with pnd and all the time he’s getting off to porn refusing sex with me not being affectionate with me also went to an exes house a month into our relationship cuddling her in her bed then came back to his house and that very night slept with me! I’m absolutely broken everything that’s been said here is so true I just don’t no what to do I wish I didn’t love him like I do cos I would just tell him to leave!
I'm sorry that you have experienced this. Your partner betrayal trauma and pain are real. I would recommend focusing on getting healing and support for yourself. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists. We also have support groups for over the phone and on Facebook as well that you can join. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
what if its betrayal and traumatic except for by parent's and siblings? not a sexual partner, example siblings who have stolen, lied and convinced you theyd never be able to be so easily discard you and then they do the second given the opportunity?
Betrayal trauma can indeed be experienced outside of a romantic relationship, whether by family, friends, or coworkers even. If you need counseling to help you through this, you can contact us at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our therapists.
@@DrDougWeiss thank you however it's been a lifetime and in losing my mom 35 days ago I learned it's not me, and I've been loyal to a fault and my own detriment. however I've gone no contact even with my twin and oddly I don't miss any of them except my mom and dad, but they can't steal or trick me out of what they've left me with that matters truly!
Was it ALL a lie? You will never know. I was Homeless after this happened. Thank GOD for my dog Martel, she even left her cat Michelangelo. And she was/is an Attorney in San Diego. Ran off with all the money, etc. and a Married Managing Partner of her law firm. Don't know how she passed Ethics in Law School or on the Bar. Same for him. She NEVER actually admitted what she did. What does a Monster look like, it looks like you and me...
At an AA meeting a new girl sat next to me. About everything I said to her about the meeting made her laugh and giggle. She is pretty and was dressed in a very bright long dress, outstanding is the word. I had no idea I was angering all thirty of the people there, after all "We are not a glum lot!" or so they say. At the end of the meeting three people spoke up and accused me of being a Thirteen stepper, a predator. It's been three months, and no one has said anything about apologizing to me. I asked them to bring up a witness to my sexual misconduct, but they seem to have ignored that or can't find one. HMMM! Were they all jealous that this pretty girl chose to sit next to me, there were other seats available?
@@crystalyn2855 The subject is betrayal. I knew those people for several years. They wanted to get me because of the slander and gossip about me. I'd made and enemy. Finally the entire group of thirty people agreed with the slander. That's a huge betrayal. The "news" spread overseas too. After a year the affects of this betrayal are heavy in this small town I live in. Now people wonder.
Yes, church counciling and some Christian counciling too. I am a strong active Christian and it hurts to say that. Also church won't talk about what living in the world today is like. We need tools, encouragement 24 hours a day.
I was just by my church I was the problem for not being more compassionate and praying for him more. Made me feel so more betrayed. I've done nothing but forgive and pray for him and yet he still makes me invisible while he chases.
This trauma continues when you don't have anyone to share your experience with. It suffocates you inside and nothing helps. Letting out these feelings is so important in the transformation out of this terrible sadness.
True indeed. I write a lot, daily in a diary, but I feel completely alone. Hugs to you from Sweden 🌹
I have experience my wife disappearing one morning, and other tragedies. I asked at an AA meeting if there was anyone who had ever experienced the problem. Out of hundreds of people, not one.
I was publicly slandered at the same meeting accused of being a predator to the new girls and this was to the general meeting. I went to other meetings and asked some old timers if they have experienced such a thing or heard of it in AA. No one knows what I'm talking about, some even told me to shut up. Imagine that! Supposed to be "loving and accepting" in AA. Some hypocrites running around out there. Even my sponsor at the time told me to "Accept it and let it go!" OK, mini psychologist.
What you said definitely resonates. We will get through this pain. Sending you love and light ❤️🌞
I have no one.
Im going to come out with the science to heal this. Ive been living this way for 32 years.my betrayal started by a parent in my toddler years.
With his betrayal with a younger woman after 36 years of marriage my world just fell apart 😢 even now after 1 year since he moved out I am still devastated and heartbroken. His life has gone on but mine is at a still stand. I have sleepless nights, I have lots of health issues and the humiliation just kills me.
I'm sad that you have been devastated by this betrayal. You indeed can feel stuck within the memory of what happened and the turmoil of feelings from it.
If you want to process this and heal, you can call 719-278-3708 to get with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center. You don't have to be alone in this.
We also have a Formers Partners Facebook group you can join: facebook.com/groups/divorcedpartnersofsa
I am there too. We deserve so much better. These people are scum. If you can, try to see it as you have been spared all of the vileness this man. I know how easy that is to say. I see my ex as dead, who she is now disgusts me. But when you have kids, it is a life sentence. You are so much better than him and the woman who have the morals of a sewer
He’s the same person, he’s doing to her exactly what he did to you. He’s probably lying to her, cheating, putting her down…you are free now. Force yourself to go out with friends, go to a spa, start a journal, cook your favorite foods, take it easy and find a good therapist!! 35 years survivor here, it took me a year and a half to grieve the marriage , get over the shock(his secret 36 year old wh0re, and then his cancer spread and I took care of him the last 4 months. That was hard because I hated him by then. You’re not alone, it will get better and you will come to accept that you really are better off. Hugs and healing ❤️🩹 don’t give up
I'm crying... I've NEVER been so validated. I forgave. I thought I was healed but I'm not the same person anymore. I became someone else over 30 years ago. I lost me.
Hi 😢I feel the same way. I was not like this… I don’t like my anxiety and insecurity take over my mind but I can’t help 😢
@@MN-us8dv in saying a prayer for you. I don't know if you've heard of her or not but I highly recommend Leslie Vernick. She has an AMAZING way of clearing the confusion and helping to recognize what brings the anxiety. Also, Lysa Terkuerst, who stated opening my eyes to this whole HURRICANE I'm walking through right now. ❤️🩹 It's an awful ride alone.
@@MN-us8dvI’m so sorry to hear about your struggle…This is not your fault.
@livebydesignlaurie I know how you feel. Trust God. He can restore everything. I am praying for all the victims🙏
Everything you mentioned, I have been feeling for over 8 years now. My husband kept on with his lifestyle, but was lying about stopping. I can’t take him serious anymore. I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Thank you for this talk. Lord bless you 🙏✝
I feel you
Leave
E
The trauma is real many years later. He is dead, but I may write letter to him about the pain & trauma he caused me. We separated in 1992, now at 71 years old, it still hurts soooo much.
Oh Lady, does your post ever hit home. My wife of 52 years passed in June. I had surmised but didn’t have proof she had an affair with one of the coaches at my Sons school some 30 odd years ago. She always lied and said “nothing ever happened”. On her deathbed she finally admitted to the affair along with the obligatory “I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you and I always loved you”. I needed some questions answered but at that point she became unable to communicate. At 76 years of age I am just too damn old to have my butt kicked like this.
Boy, i tought i was strong… but she ruined me so deeply
2 years now out of a toxic relationship and I still feel the betrayal from time to time. It just a reminder to never look back and always move forward. Grow and self reflect on my mistakes as well
About to celebrate 14yrs together. 3 years ago my reality exploded. I found out my fiancé and father to my 2 kids was on dating sites, contacting exes, escorts and trying to date multiple other women. I knew for about 5 years they he was being shady I never had the proof to confront him. When I did get the proof I broke. I had an emotional and mental breakdown which led to me becoming physically ill. I packed bags and left he begged cried and pleaded for me to
Come home. We did therapy at his request and I can honestly say I’m glad I stayed. Yes he hurt me. He betrayed me…but he put the work in to make our relationship whole again.
A leopard don't change its spots. Be vigilant and trust your gut.
Shattered!
That's the feeling!!!!! 💯
True. I feel shattered. Also like my heart was ripped apart, my soul completely broken and I can't find joy anymore. It's also like a rollercoaster ride of feelings and sometimes I just feel numb. That's what hapoened after my husband's infidelity with his disgusting AP. And she knew he was married with kids and didn't say no. So I hold her just as guilty. Trying to mend our marriage but I'm still hurting. The pain is unbearable sometimes. 😢
I'm sorry for the betrayal and trauma that you are experiencing right now. Your pain and grief are real.
It is important for you to have healing and support during this time. If you need to talk to a counselor, you can call us at 719-278-3708 and we can get you scheduled.
We also have a Partners phone group and Facebook group that offers support that you can join. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
Agreed- even after 2.5 years...
@@fifermom1 The hurt and pain will soften, but I think will always be there in the background even though I love my husband and our marriage has gone through fire. I'm starting to trust him, but not fully. He has showed me and still does, that he really loves me, he feels bad for all the pain and hurt and sacrificed a lot to show me that I can trust him. For example, skipping business trips, going to concerts by himself etc. I love him so much and I want to trust him again. But realistically, I don't think it'll be 100 % ever again. I only wish his affair partner could pay a bit too. It's not like he was alone in the affair. Sure, I know that sounds vindictive and out of jealousy. And why wouldn't it be? However, I'm not gonna do anything to her. I guess I just have to believe in karma. Um... yeah...
@Bumbledora I feel your pain. I am going through the same crap after he cheated, gave her so much of our money and ....yes gave me sexually transmitted disease. I hurt so much,my heart hurts. I also wish she could also pay a little bit but I am leaving this to karma.
@@ellenpaul678 He gave you a sexually transmitted disease. Omg! I feel so bad for you. I actually checked myself if he'd given me that too, but I was lucky. I'm not out of the woods yet. We've been working on our marriage, but it'll take a long time for me to ever trust him again. I still hate her. She knew exactly what he wanted and yet, decided to be a culprit to my now broken heart. I love my husband very much, but jeez... he was fooled by her. I'm not saying he's innocent or so, far from it, but he wasn't alone in this affair. There are always 2. I want to destroy her, but like you, I have to trust in karma. And yes, I do believe in karma actually. I have to work a lot on myself. Everything from now on, since I managed to get out of the heavy fog of betrayal, I'm doing what's in my best interest. Some may find it peculiar to stay with a cheating spouse, but life or love isn't black or white. I send you thoughts, love and hugs from Sweden 🌹💗
I dont know why I can't let this go. I've been and still am stuck.
Wife decided after we got married that she wanted an open relationship. I said No but that didn’t stop her. When I finally caught on to how bad things were, she was seeing 8 different guys , hooking up with 2 a week and rotating them on a monthly basis. It amazes me that society thinks that cheating and betrayal is only a man’s issue.SMH !!!!
It’s the first thing I noticed, always the presumption that it’s the men at fault that’s exactly what the family courts do as well.
My wife ran off with my married friend. I worked my balls off for four years to put her through university, not a nice guy anymore just a good guy but I still have no feelings twenty years later have and any relationship I’m in I’m ready to walk away from at the drop of a hat with no fuss or bother, the juice ain’t worth the squeeze.
If you want a friend, companionship, love and loyalty get a dog
Idk what the statistics are, but I do believe it to be higher with females
@ChillOut1716 So sorry for what you went through Be happy You deserve better.
Sounds like a grandiose narcissist.
I can’t handle it. It’s been 7 years. But he was my best friend since I was 14-25. I still can’t trust or love. I shut down.
Same with me I got married to my high school sweetheart from age of 17. My first love. Married for 8 years now but going through a separation and a divorce. He cheated on me while I was pregnant and gave him a chance now after 3 years I found out he has a sex addiction and he is been cheating on me throughout the relationship whole 15 years 😢😢 He has never loved me.
Me too. Together since 17, married 24 years. I still cry and am lost broken and damaged. it's 10 years since I first found out about the porn prostitutes and affair, 8 years since he left me and kids for her. I thought we were happy for life.
I finally understand what happened to me! Thank you so much for this video. It’s been 3 years of roller coaster emotions. Time to get off this ride.
I feel we're in the same space 🙏
Stay strong 💪🏻 💕
It physically makes me sick when a man exposes his weakness like this.
It's so hard, trauma is real , pornography and unfaithful and the neglect and lying has broken me
Me too. I feel like I never will trust anyone anymore. 😢
Me too I’m suffering with PTSD I learned 2 months ago
@@mustardtree6640 take care of yourself
Man this is hitting me like a runaway train..... Thank you for posting this video it's been 15 years since the first time my wife had an affair & it still comes back & haunts me to this day
I hope you get some help, you are still in trauma. Doug's counselors are amazing. I don't want to live a half life and I think you want the same. Prayers.
Have you revisited the issue with her?
Dr Weiss You are so wise! I can hear you know exactly what the victims are going through. Thank you for being human. 🙏
This explains the feelings that I went through better than any other video on you tube. I woke up to real life and real people and real games. The type of games that change people forever ! I thought I'd seen it all. Thank God for videos like this. Peace to everyone who finds themselves here.
I feel so alone and angry 😢
Your feelings from this type of betrayal are valid. You can call Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 and get booked with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists. We also have a Partners Facebook group you can join as well. You are not alone in this and you can still receive the healing and support that you need.
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
Pissed off is what I feel.
6 years and I still am in fear of being betrayed again
I'm sad to hear that you are still being traumatized by this. Your feelings are valid. You don't have to stay stuck like this however.
If you haven't already, I suggest getting healing and support for yourself. You can contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708 to get with one of our therapists to help you through this, as well as join a support group. You are not alone in this.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏My prayers have been answered!!! Mu husband ALLLLLLWAYS shows deflective traits and in the end I end up with all the unanswered questions..for the sake of peace in my household because he somehow twist the finger pointing back at him
That's exactly how I feel, felt, etc etc. And now after so many times of being cheated on, I don't trust anyone
I was 17 and pregnant the first time it happened
I'm so sorry that your life has been so deeply impacted by this. Your partner betrayal trauma is valid.
If my team can help you in any way, please contact our office at 719-278-3708 and you can get scheduled with a partner betrayal trauma therapist who will walk through this with you and help you heal.
For additional support, consider joining our Former Partners Facebook group to connect with a community of women who understand what you're going through: facebook.com/groups/divorcedpartnersofsa
You can also check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook, as they were created to provide not only validation for your situation but also help you work through it toward healing.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/
I do feel validated. Thank you for your message
It ruined me, I still cry everyday and don't know how to go on. I feel so alone , my world has been rocked. I don't know how people survive in this world without a relationship with God. You could never predict what tomorrow brings. The biggest issue I have is why they left, the wound is so open because I don't know why.
The grief that you are experiencing right now is valid. You don't have to stay stuck this way, walking around wounded. Here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center, we have trained therapists dedicated to helping people process the trauma that they have gone through and help them move forward in life. Contact us at 719-278-2708 to get scheduled and start the path towards healing.
Shattered indeed. But I was overwhelmed and stopped being there. So my efforts had lapsed; not justifying, just being honest. She works at his company still.
I know what it feels like really really well
If you need help dealing with this, you can get with one of our therapists for a session at 719-278-3708. You deserve to have a safe place of support and validation for what you are feeling.
Depending on your situation, you might find the resources on the Partner Betrayal Trauma website useful: partnerbetrayaltrauma.org/
I need my brain reset 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
All you mentioned 😢
I was discarded by a covert narcissist. She pretty much had me in fake world of love for 12 years. When she discarded me, she made me feel so betrayed it was ridiculous. The nastiness. The insults. The blame for her issues. The blame for her life. The lies. Then the lost break up attacks. The way she is going out her way to destroy me. Like the trauma of the breakup is not enough to hurt me
I'm sorry to hear of the betrayal trauma you have experienced. If you'd like, you can call us at 719-278-3708 and get scheduled to speak with one of our therapists to help work through this. You are not alone.
this video is really insightful and beautifully presented. i appreciate how you tackled such a complex topic. that said, it seems to me that focusing too much on the pain can sometimes overshadow the healing journey. what do you all think about the balance between processing hurt and moving forward?
I am experiencing all that you said. I’ve known he was unfaithful for 15 years but now I realize he may be a sex addict. I am in trauma, it’s overwhelming and almost paralyzing. I’m watching your videos daily.
Your trauma and pain from experiencing this is valid. If you need support, you can call us at 719-278-3708 to get scheduled with a counselor/coach.
We also have a Partners phone group and Facebook group you can join for community and resources. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
You nailed it, thanks Dr
Shattered 💔
If you need support regarding your betrayal trauma, please contact our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with one of our therapists to help you process this and start healing.
Ive been going through this trauma thing for a really long time and i thought maybe it was over,but no. Yea I tried to trust him again and as i started to let my guard down he betrayed me again. I think maybe i have some trauma going on.
I'm sad to hear that you have experienced this betrayal and broken trust, your pain and trauma is real. If you haven't already, it would be best to talk with a counselor/coach to help you work through this betrayal trauma and receive healing. You can call us at 719-278-3708 and we can schedule you with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists.
We also have a Partners phone group and Facebook group you can join for support. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I had this guy that said years ago and he said I will never betray her to my stepmom they stop coming to my state they used to make #1 for years last time they came 2years ago they said you are always #1 don’t change so for two years they haven’t came back sweet to me before that they hugged now they go somewhere else that same state I feel like someone took my spot since the other day almost wanted to go to someone else unless they make up
I got betrayel trauma from my narcissistic family system
Needed that n soo much more😢
Yes yes and yes… I’m so sad and angry ugh
I’m glad I found out. It ended fast after that, & I blocked them and hopefully a quick divorce. Anyone who’s been betrayed I hope you know it’s not you. It’s not personal. If I could show you the person they cheated with you wouldn’t beleive how ugly this person is it’s almost laughable. The other party is also very dumb. Posting photos of them and thier kids and actually showing the kids passport info on Facebook. 😂. I’d never go back!! Not even after 12years of marriage.
I'm going through exactly the same thing of 12 years. Except I had a damn kid with her so blocking is not an option for 50 50 custody.
8 days. Lies, revelations are getting worse and worse when he finally confesses some things as it trickles out. 40 years marriage. All emotions. Yes. He doesn't get it yet. Therapy is scheduled and waiting patiently, kinda
What do you do when you find things after the death of a spouse of 53 years . My hero, love of my life , my Marine !
The worst part is , there is a possibility I'm wrong ! Also it's not the porn its the LIE !
We had so many problems when he came home from Vietnam , he always said I took his hand and walked him out of Hell !
Then just before he passed ( lung cancer , I was his sole caregiver )found out we both had HepC , Dr. said it could be in the body for years . He was my only partner , I was NOT his only one , but after what i found , now im afraid he he not only cheated by the porn , but in the real world too .
He ALWAYS came home right after work , but over the years i did go out of town , never occured to me to Worry ?!
I cannot stop the thoughts , then i worry am i accusing him of something he didn't do ? What if he did have the virus for years , we neither of us ever had an out break , found it with blood test !?
I'm going crazy , missing him , loving him , hating him ( a little ) needing him !!! 😢😢
I sware I'm trying I want to move forward and though I have not clue what all has gone on I also don't want to know but I also need to know and so many feelings drowning while I couldn't breath seems similar
So many shrinks in UK don’t get it and if the spouse leaves with AP and you have kids it is pure evil and I am told to let my kids just talk to me about this AP like he is my mate 😡😡😡🙈🙈
You got my attention..
Please o have so much to say.i have a story that i need to share that. Would could help heal from this....I just came to realize that I have this.i have severe ptsd,now my own sister has been betraying me all these years.im shattered!
Terrible how people do people who love them.. unbelievable really
In my case I know my part was that I neglected the relationship since finding out I got pregnant. I was beyond consumed. But I'm told it's still not my fault that he lied and cheated for so long. Then went to get more baby stuff at the apt and he had a girl in bed two months after I confirmed cheating. They did it in my baby's bedroom on my sheets. How do you handle flashbacks
I worked my way through my wife's affair about 1-2 years after the infidelity, or so I thought..... I never went to therapy and now 23 years later it's like my soul has left my body again and my brain is taking reliving all the things I went through back then. I pray every day that God will just let me die. I love my wife even after her affair.. I know it's stupid and damaging to keep on but regardless if anyone believes that "once a cheater always a cheater" I know I'm my heart she has not done it again. It's just that once someone has been betrayed to that measure it's impossible to forget and forgive.
My wife was still in highschool when I met her and I was fresh out. Both of us came from broken homes and I know that's no excuse but it doesn't help any relationship when the only thing you have seen your whole life is a dysfunctional family lifestyle.
It is quite a difficult thing to go through partner betrayal trauma and the lingering emotions that stem from it. I'm sad to hear that you are still dealing with this after all this time. I would suggest getting with a therapist so that you can work through properly and finally achieve the healing that you need. You can contact our office at 718-278-3708 to get connected with a male therapist specialized in partner betrayal trauma to walk with you.
I never knew what narcissists were let alone covert narcissists. I still cannot fully believe that there are people like that that exist out there. I still feel as though im in a bad dream and going to wake up from this. But then im still here and its not a dream and hope that i never wake up. I have nothing now. Ive become a meth head just existing everyday because i dont want to think about it all. But thats all i do is think about it all. I used to be somebody. I used to have goals and a purpose and had a plan forca happy life and was making that finally happen. And suddenly overnight its gone. And in the most brutal shocking unempathetic way. Im lost
Betrayal trauma is a difficult thing to experience and it can negatively affect a person's life in many different ways. I understand that you are stuck because of the pain and trauma from what has happened but you don't have to stay that way. It is possible to get unstuck and get healing for yourself and restoration in your life. You can still have goals for life and fulfill them.
We have a few resources that you might find helpful. There's our "Unstuck" video that helps you through the process.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/unstuck-video-download/
There's also the Partner Betrayal Trauma book/DVD and workbook that validates partner betrayal trauma and provides guidance.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-video-download/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook-ebook/
If you need support, you can get with a local therapist or group locally to deal with both the meth and the betrayal trauma, or contact our office at 719-278-3708 to get connected with a therapist to help with the betrayal trauma.
How can you start to heal or even deal with the trauma when you also have BPD? I feel I suffer from that trauma so sever that I have completely lost myself and my being of being here on earth. Please help.
I hate my ex for what he did , I guess I’m in the anger phase. He destroyed my mental health, I feel traumatized I feel panicked I feel like I’m in fight or flight mode
I'm so sorry that your ex's betrayal has impacted you so deeply. I want you to know that what you are feeling is completely valid (as many who have gone through partner betrayal trauma have experienced this). You might find the video download "Partner Betrayal Trauma" for validating the amount of trauma and pain that you have, as well as "Calming the Storm of Anger" which helps partners who are struggling with anger from betrayal trauma.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-video-download/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/calming-the-storm-of-anger-video-download/
It's clear you're carrying a heavy burden, but please remember, you're not alone. Healing from betrayal trauma is a journey-one that often benefits from professional support.
At Heart to Heart Counseling Center, we specialize in helping the betrayed navigate the complex emotions and challenges that arise from situations like yours. You deserve a path to healing that's filled with support, understanding, and compassion. If you feel ready, call our office at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists.
Add on to that all your family and friends lying isolating u and this goes on for a course of 5 years or more while you were already recovering from a devastating life altering situation. But I'm lazy
I'm so brokenhearted 💔
I was betrayed by narcissistic classmate with her silent treatment.😂🙄 She was master to keep her deep nasty secrets to herself.
Wow its real lufe its painful and no value wow i feel saddness..
Idk know where to start I was the one who kept my sister after her daughter died mo one could handle her I tried to be the best woman I could to my bf of 9yrs. When he had a bby on me I was devastated I vented to my sister I was so angry she used it all agenst me now they both betrayed me in the worst way I'm scard to vent to anyone anymore. I feel like I'm being played on with the mind games idk what to do I'm going insane
What you’ve shared is incredibly painful, and I’m truly sorry that you've experienced betrayal from both your sister and your boyfriend. The amount of trauma from this is compounded since it comes from those so close to you. It is normal to have trouble trusting others and the feelings you have right now are completely valid.
If we can help you in any way, please consider reaching out to our counseling center at 719-278-3708. We have a team of therapists who specialize in addressing betrayal in people's lives, especially partner betrayal trauma. They will compassionately work with you so that you can genuinely process what happened, providing you with validation and encouragement so that you can start healing.
I also have a ebook called "Partner Betrayal Trauma" that addresses and validates the feelings and pain that you are dealing with: www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-ebook/
Would you be able to do an item on Sexting addiction? This differs from Pornography addiction in the sense that it takes place with real women, in real time. In my case: my husband did 4-5 years of endless sexting (text, pictures, videos, etc.) with tens of thousands of women due to depression/ emotional immaturity to handle stress and emotions. Our profound trust in each other's monogamy and the sanctity of our sexual relationship was one of our greatest assets... or so I thought 🙏
Please tell me how to heal at 54 years old and after 28 years of marriage. The pain is debilitating
I'm sad to hear that you are dealing with betrayal trauma in your relationship. Your feelings are real. In spite of one's age or situation, healing is still possible.
You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 to book with one of therapists trained in partner betrayal trauma to help you through this. You can also join our Partners Facebook group for support from a community of women. You don't have to go through this alone.
The Partner Betrayal Trauma book/DVD and workbook would also be helpful in validating what you feel and providing the information you need in the healing process.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-dvd/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/
You can also check out this RUclips video for guidance on healing and recovering from what has happened: ruclips.net/video/G45ovTebuOk/видео.html
Where do I go for help in the Kansas City area
You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 and my staff can see if there are any therapists or groups in your area. We also offer virtual counseling and phone support groups that you can join.
How can I ever be expected to get over the trauma of just being married 3 months and fell pregnant with our 1st child only to find out 42 yrs later that my husband had a 3 Yr affair with my sister who was 15 at the time and I have cancer and a brain tumour and I'm so heartbroken I can hardly function 😢😢😢
No matter what a person goes through, it is possible for them to heal. I"m sorry to hear that you have experienced all this. If you need to get scheduled with a therapist to help you process this, you can contact Heart To Heart Counseling Center at 719-278-3708.
You can also check out the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook which you might find helpful.
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/
www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/
Betrayal trauma can come in many forms... my husband tells me he is going to please himself if I do not engage in sex. He also left our faith without considering how it would affect me. HE also spent hours and hours talking to his ex wife when I was pregnant with our son behind my back. (I found out when I got the phone bill) He also ordered a porn movie which I found when I got the bill as well. He served me with divorce papers and after five months decided he still loved me... Years of betrayal resulting in trauma. Years of the silent treatment and decisions as well as discussions behind my back. Am I crazy for thinking I can recover from all of this? I miss my happy joy filled personality but most of all I miss the deep feeling of peace I used to have.
I am sad to hear that you have experienced all these things in your life. Your pain and trauma from this is real. I would suggest getting with a partner betrayal trauma therapist to help you process this and get healing and support for yourself. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our counselors/coaches.
We also have Partners support groups for over the phone and on Facebook you can join too. You are not alone in this and it is possible to recover.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
I’m really struggling I just found out my partner has been addicted to porn all while I was suffering in a very hard pregnancy a traumatic labor then a bad infection in my c-section scar not able to breast feed ended up with pnd and all the time he’s getting off to porn refusing sex with me not being affectionate with me also went to an exes house a month into our relationship cuddling her in her bed then came back to his house and that very night slept with me!
I’m absolutely broken everything that’s been said here is so true I just don’t no what to do I wish I didn’t love him like I do cos I would just tell him to leave!
I'm sorry that you have experienced this. Your partner betrayal trauma and pain are real. I would recommend focusing on getting healing and support for yourself. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our partner betrayal trauma therapists. We also have support groups for over the phone and on Facebook as well that you can join. You are not alone in this.
www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/
facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/
😔
what if its betrayal and traumatic except for by parent's and siblings? not a sexual partner, example siblings who have stolen, lied and convinced you theyd never be able to be so easily discard you and then they do the second given the opportunity?
Betrayal trauma can indeed be experienced outside of a romantic relationship, whether by family, friends, or coworkers even.
If you need counseling to help you through this, you can contact us at 719-278-3708 to get booked with one of our therapists.
@@DrDougWeiss thank you however it's been a lifetime and in losing my mom 35 days ago I learned it's not me, and I've been loyal to a fault and my own detriment. however I've gone no contact even with my twin and oddly I don't miss any of them except my mom and dad, but they can't steal or trick me out of what they've left me with that matters truly!
Right
Having your spouse cheat on you is not the only cause or form of Betrayal.
Was it ALL a lie? You will never know.
I was Homeless after this happened.
Thank GOD for my dog Martel, she even left her cat Michelangelo.
And she was/is an Attorney in San Diego.
Ran off with all the money, etc. and a Married Managing Partner of her law firm.
Don't know how she passed Ethics in Law School or on the Bar. Same for him.
She NEVER actually admitted what she did.
What does a Monster look like, it looks like you and me...
🤔
Go with your instincts. You shouldn't need a polygraph.
At an AA meeting a new girl sat next to me. About everything I said to her about the meeting made her laugh and giggle. She is pretty and was dressed in a very bright long dress, outstanding is the word. I had no idea I was angering all thirty of the people there, after all "We are not a glum lot!" or so they say. At the end of the meeting three people spoke up and accused me of being a Thirteen stepper, a predator. It's been three months, and no one has said anything about apologizing to me. I asked them to bring up a witness to my sexual misconduct, but they seem to have ignored that or can't find one. HMMM! Were they all jealous that this pretty girl chose to sit next to me, there were other seats available?
Why are you here?
@@crystalyn2855 The subject is betrayal. I knew those people for several years. They wanted to get me because of the slander and gossip about me. I'd made and enemy. Finally the entire group of thirty people agreed with the slander. That's a huge betrayal. The "news" spread overseas too. After a year the affects of this betrayal are heavy in this small town I live in. Now people wonder.
What men's groups? the church has done a rotten job of addressing this issue inregard to men being betrayed by Christian wives.
Yes, church counciling and some Christian counciling too. I am a strong active Christian and it hurts to say that. Also church won't talk about what living in the world today is like. We need tools, encouragement 24 hours a day.
I was just by my church I was the problem for not being more compassionate and praying for him more. Made me feel so more betrayed. I've done nothing but forgive and pray for him and yet he still makes me invisible while he chases.
Women's groups not much better where I am from. Pity, cautious smiles, happy married people, judgement.
Thank you for this. ❤
You are so welcome. I hope you found this helpful.
@@DrDougWeiss Yes, I totally did. It was knowledgeable and insightful.