Are These Lyrics BEYOND Saving?
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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PLEASE Make this a series, this was very educational
As a parent who's only child just went off to university this year, now struggling with "empty nest syndrome", the lyrics of this song hit me right where it counts.
Oh man, my heart goes out to you on that one. I’ve got a few years yet, but I can imagine.
@@SuperPimsky Not gonna lie, it's been tough.
My song! Thanks Trey! I’m one of the few that really cares deeply about lyrics and even though I loved the sentiment and instrumental on this track, I could just never come to a comfort level to release this track.
You made a huge leap on that chorus. Much improved. I think I might finally be able to nail it down and release it. You have no idea how many different things I tried before just going back the boring lame lyrics I had there. 😂
Well damn, Jackie!
I know this came out at a time where most folks weren’t paying attention, but I do love your videos like this. I hope you don’t stop doing these because I think all of us musicians (cough cough guitarists cough cough) could use these.
Less than a thousand views after 14 hours, damn. This was really good too.
Hope the algorithm deems it worthy and blesses this with much engagement so it turns into a series lol
Yeah pretty rough, I blame the holiday weekend timing
You're CRAWLING further away,
But I can't HOLD YOU UP forever...
That doesn't make sense 😅 you don't get held up while you crawl.
I'm afraid
You're crawling further away,
And I won't be here forever,
You'll be all alone someday
That speaks to my fears as parent.
Good catch!
That is actually quite fair, but the "holding up" is a parenting image
@@Skeleton_Dork it's true that "holding up" is good parent imagery, but the imagery of holding up my kid while they crawl is quite silly imo 😄
No hate or anything. I just think that bit still needs some tweaking.
Sure you can, otherwise they just lie down. Hahah
You should never let something as insignificant as "making perfect sense" get in the way of writing great lyrics. Also, while you're LEARNING to walk, you're still doing mostly crawling.
This was great. I like a positive, supportive Trey. 🙂
Great stuff, Trey.
Excellent video, sir! Fine work once again! I think this video is going to help people along.
Thanks!
Engagement! Love your Lyrics Writing Course! Really recommend it, even of you don't go through it all, ot contains very very good Methods to get started and seeing results immediately. Thank you Trey, after the disappointing bit about lyrics in the complete rock and metal Songwriting course I see, why you put it in a whole different course. Hope people buy your courses, because every single one of them is very clear and helpful. Hyped for your Producing Course 😁
Nice revisions. I really wanted to hear "But if I squeeze it too tight-LY" as it felt a bit awkward to hang on to that ending T sound there.
Hope this becomes a series!
Disappointed you didn’t go for the sofa (so far) pun in there 🤦♂️ as per great video. And yeah making this a series would be a cool thing.
dadrock went hard in this
I guess I took the genre literally 😂
That guy's voice sounds like he actually is Kelso.
I am. 😊
Hey Trey, great video, I'd love if you could explain exactly why something works or not next time, this way we can transfer your advices to other lyrics 😊
That's a pretty big topic, I cover it a lot in the course but it would probably make a video like this way too long
Kool Video, Trey!
Brilliant! This is very educational.
Damn, can't argue with results. Your final bit is some absolutely solid butt rock. Nickleback better get their shit together. I kid, but this came out great with some really effective tips, thanks Trey!
I've barely ever written any lyrics in my life. But if Trey improved my shitty lyrics I would be so honored.
How about this one Trey?
"FIRE, DESIRE, FIRE, DESIRE, RISE, RISE, RISE"
Any help? 😰
Repetition in the chorus could have worked such as the 1 1 2 format of early blues or straight 1 1 1. Here is an example of 1 1 2.
It's hard--hard to let you go
It's hard-- hard to let you go
I'll still be watching you grow
112 112 is another choice.
Actually…..
This slapped
this is really cool
Thanks! It was pretty fun to do
Yeaaahhhh boi!!
Writing good lyrics is hard for sure !
Chockful of goodness.
Engagement
Reply
Yo algorithm, wtf eh?
Come on Al.
Ghostwriting for the new Nickelback album? :D
I fuckin wish hahaha
Don't know how I missed it...I would've sent in The Claymore lyrics lol
is this gonna be a series?
Depends on whether it goes well, the engagement on it is currently abysmal so I wouldn't bank on it. I liked doing it though
@@treyxaviermusic Aw, that's a shame. I really liked this. Maybe not a long running series, but a good handful of episodes would be cool just to show a few different examples of lyrical critique and revision.
@@Sean-Ax What I'm discovering the hard way is that very few musicians give a shit about lyrics, unfortunately, because they're incredibly important. But you can only lead a horse to water, you can't make them drink. I'm glad you enjoyed it thought!
@@treyxaviermusic I personally actually don't care much about lyrics either; I'm just not sentimentally oriented. I grew up with video game music, which is primarily instrumental, but I can see why lyrics can be important. The musical forms of song are a foundation for lyrical development, whereas something like a sonata focuses on the development of melodies (not a perfectly academic description, but it sounds right to me). I've tried to take inspiration from classical forms of music in my own (few) songs. I think musicians should try writing instrumental music in other forms of music that aren't song, since the form of song is geared towards lyricism (I am of the camp that if it doesn't have lyrics, it's not a song. I'm a snob; sue me). ...A bit of a tangent, that was; I was hoping to say something a bit more clear and concise about musicians not caring about lyrics, but I wasn't sure how to wrap it up. I guess I just don't like songs that only focus on the vocals, and maybe that's how other people feel too? The instruments get drowned out, and I forget that what I'm listening to even has a band backing it. I forget the point I was trying to make. You might be able to figure it out; idk.
Never mind the lyrics, is the song supposed to be microtonal?
If not, that’s Jason Aldean level of not being able to hit notes! #PatFinnerty
2000 views? Wth is going on with youtube.
Tbh, the attitude of the first song musically felt very out of sync with the message. The vocals have that pop punk snarl that makes the opening line feel more like a call-out than a loving observation
Thus why it was never finalized and released a couple years ago. I realize it’s a bit of a contradiction in terms of musical style and lyrical content.