True but I know a few people who bed rot healthily. For instance my sister could have a tough week at work and bet rot for a day or the weekend and get right back to it.
@@lunarialoonaticSame. My bestie works her ASS off and she’s not young, but she knows she needs some serious “bed rotting” to get back on track. And it works every time. She’s in counseling and under the care of a psychologist so she’s sure her habits are healthy for her :)
That's not what the video is talking about. 'Bed rotting' is an actual online trend where people are intentionally staying in bed in the name of "self care" and in the name of "taking a break from life"
I used to watch a lot of self-improvement videos and got obsessive about fixing my flaws, until someone told me that my insecurities are not something I can get rid of. Accepting them is the real way to improve our mental health.
Thanks for sharing and being honest about your experience :) It can be tough to hear that insecurities aren't something we can just fix, but accepting them is such a powerful way to find peace within ourselves. How has this shift in perspective impacted the way you approach your insecurities now?
@@Psych2go I've come to realize that many people have the same insecurities I do. It's normal, no one is perfect, so now I'm more understanding and patient with myself and others.
These self-improvement videos can actually be self-destructive, especially the ones promoting dopamine detox or toxicity. Like "be hostile to other people for them to respect you" or "isolate yourself from the world because you only need yourself".
This is why you shouldn’t try random trends you see on the internet. It might end up with you ending up hurt or in a bad situation. Like the bed rotting. It won’t really do you much. But it’s fine to laze around a bit, just not all the time. Thanks for making this video!
A lot of people I knew who were into toxic positivity would watch a few of those motivational videos on YT and TikTok and think that with a little bit of motivation, we’d all be cured from our mental illnesses, as if there’s a one size fits all solution to everything.
@@user7-o9wElles font ce qu’elles veuillent et ce n’est pas ça qui vont leur faire changer de vie ! Tu peux rester dans la négativité ou positivité ! Personne n’a rien à foutre et surtout eux ou elles 😂🤣😂 donc tu peux te plaindre mais ça ne changera pas à la personne 😂🤣
@@user7-o9w It’s not a good way to cure a mental illness… (AND TBH IDK IF IT WORKS OR NOT). Remember that some mental illness can last for a person’s entire life (for example, autism). I have a little cousin who is autistic and comes to me when something is bothering him. When he feels sad, I give him some words of motivation! There, I am helping him feel better and focus more, but not cure, for there isn’t a permanent cure (IF IM NOT MISTAKEN). Also, not everything works for everyone the same way it may work for you. As the video said, improving mental health is your personal journey, and only yours. I find it disappointing how some people think everyone needs the exact same thing as the other guy to be mentally healthy.
@@Psych2goa lack of limbic friction resulting the shrinkage of the aMCC(anterior midcingulate cortex), which is the brain region that's responsible for our very own will to live.
on days where you're stuck in bed and everything is too hard, simply moving to different areas of your living space and sitting there can really help. Even if you move from the bed to the floor, and then the floor to the doorway. The effort of simply moving somewhere else can really make a difference, just make sure you're being gentle :)
If you feel out of whack, like an internal upset for no apparent reason. One thing that really helped me understand my adhd was that every day I have to drain both my mental/physical energy to feel a state of balance. Having to much mental stimuli while not being physically active will make you go “stir crazy” and feel relentless. Or have racing thoughts if you do not put your mind on enough productive tasks in a day!
Exactly it's perfectly fine to do. It's the moderation it's the problem. There's nothing wrong with sleeping in bed because you're tired or indulging yourself in some candy because you want to 😂
Nothing I regret more than falling for that minimalism trend. Got rid of my stuff. Felt horrible living in that heartless atmosphere and bought everything back. Lesson learned. 😅
Minimalism doesn't demand abstinence from things you like or give you fulfillment. If it brings you joy & purpose, keep it. Healthy Minimalism is about reducing useless junk, that is never used nor does it being anything to the soul. It just clutters physical & psychological space. As they say in the video: excessively getting rid of "everything" isn't balanced. But many people fall for the "more is better" fallacy (a normal thing), and end up in another extreme. Take care 🥰
I also dislike the minimalism trend. In the end it's just an excessive form to clean up your place and getting rid of stuff you don't use anymore. But what I have seen so far, not in a good way.
I know so many people who got rid of all their children's toys, got rid of christmas presents saying their children's didn't need junk and now those kids are in college and they are confused why they never go home.
@@RunnyBabbitMom Point in (my) case: that is extremist, and as such always destructive. Similar as cluttering and hoarding. Minimalism is about making conscious choices that contribute to life, against the trends of endless, unchecked growth and greed, but also NOT reducing it to unlivable conditions where it affects one negatively. It is possible to have less (as long as it is a dicision and possibility, not a matter of outside circumstances) AND be happy. Just don't be to extreme and see value in things that matter to you.
@@yt_n-c0de-r That is what I was saying the extremism that you were talking about can lead to. If children grow up with nothing they have nothing to go "home" to.
I get what they're saying about the dopamine detox but at the same time though some people have to go cold turkey in order to overcome dopamine addiction. Some people can't just just watch a bit of TV here and there and go on their phone sparingly. Dopamine and digital addiction is a real thing that a lot of people have and saying that people should just find a balance is like telling a heroine addict to find a balance taking heroine. People who are addicted will not exercise and meditate because they are too busy getting the dopamine rush from certain things like technology. I honestly believe rehab centres should be set up for people who have an addiction to screens (phone, internet, TV, games etc) because these addictions are probably more common nowadays than alcohol and drugs. Spending most of your time looking at a screen can still have a devastating affect on your life and mental and physical health. I wish dopamine and digital addiction were taken more seriously.
I don't know anyone that calls bed rotting a self care routine. When people talk about bed rotting it is usually in regards to the fact that they already are depressed or do not have the motivation to see a reason to continue doing their work. There are some people who believe in bed rot days. But this is a little different. That's talking about a situation where somebody stays in bed on a day off, and simply enjoys relaxing. Sometimes putting off things like house cleaning. But it's not a self-care routine meant to be done everyday. There are just some days you need a day to be in bed and not have to answer to anyone else. And I will 100% swear by that being a good thing every once in awhile.
I do a lot of toxic positivity to myself. I expect myself to always be happy and positive 24/7, and never struggle. If I show emotions of hardship, I don’t accept myself for it. I put so many restrictions. I guilt and shame myself for feeling unhappy. I also expect myself to change overnight. I’m extremely aware of my flaws and actions, that my self belief goes to, “it’s easy. Stop doing the things you don’t like about yourself. Being that you believe in yourself that you’re capable of changing it, then do it and get the results RIGHT EXACTLY NOW!!”
I genuinely love and respect this channel so much. You explain psychological and mental health topics in such a simple and relatable way, but talk a lot about scientific finds backed with research. I love your work and I hope you get to help people for a long time
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! It means a lot to know that our content resonates with you and helps make these important topics more accessible. What topics would you like to see us cover in the future?
I honestly would rather deal with pessimists than be around those who are very into toxic positivity. It’s like they ignore reality and are in denial, while those who are always negative at least acknowledges the truth. Sometimes, facing the darker sides of life is more honest and real than forcing a smile.
You’re not wrong. I do feel bad for those people bc there’s not one toxic positive person I have met who hasn’t gone through it. they are like that for a reason. In fact my old ex friend was like yjey bc she was always taught that crying was bad and that she had to be happy for her family. She’s better now, but even though those kinds of people drive me crazy I could never hate them
I'd rather not deal with either. People who fake positivity the way you're describing are toxic as hell and drain so much from you. But pessimists or overtly negative people, can also drain from you and take away motivation or inspiration to do things, whether it's doing things you enjoy or doing things that will make you improve
So true. So much of the "Self-care" community should just be called "Selfishness" community. "Love yourself first" "All you need is yourself" "Self, self, self, blah, blah, blah" What a HORRIBLE way to live.
As someone who has always been an oddball, I genuinely like being by myself more than being surrounded by people. Other people usually only bring me negativity and make me feel worse. It's not always about being selfish, sometimes you just aren't able to connect to people at all and being alone is when you are truly happy and content.
I can’t recommend the book Herbal Magic Unbound enough. It’s a fascinating read that goes deep into transformative practices. It had a profound impact on my life, and I think it could do the same for you.
I personally ask those I know I healthily trust for advice on my self-care. Because if I ask myself, I get the rabbit hole of trouble happening in my mind. Asking them helps me to understand and set what is fit for me and I adjust when I need the self-care.
There is nothing wrong with detoxing from devices or social media. It actually helps with finding time to socialize with real people in person. Some social media can be stressful and hateful.
I remember there have been times when I was somehow surrounded by what you have said in the first section. It is really painful, especially if you struggle standing in for your own being.
Sadly, most people don't know how to practice self-care. Most people seek external validation from others. I used to be like this as well. When someone said, "I'm a bad person," I took it seriously and began to feel worthless. I always felt insecure about my choices, fearing that people would judge me if my choices and actions didn’t satisfy them. But later, I realised that everyone judges based on their own values and beliefs. A person’s values and beliefs are influenced by their upbringing, culture, and personal experiences. Everyone's values and beliefs are subjective: what one person considers wrong may be right from another person's perspective. I also realised that people will not focus on my good inner qualities or emotional complexities, and they will judge me from the surface level. I also experience cognitive dissonance many times but many people don't know what cognitive dissonance is. Cognitive dissonance is normal and it is the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. So, finally, I'm no longer dependent on their validation. I’m practising self-validation.
Trying to find balance between self love and narcissism is a tricky path, coming from an autistic girl who was raised by narcissistic parents. After years of self hatred, then a couple years of complete pessimism, I remember my own self validation is top tier, however, I need to take into consideration what others have said about me as well so I can grow to become the truest, kindest version of me. ❤
Something I've noticed about external validation is that it's really hard to wrap my head around any kind of validation that isn't external. Thinking about self-validation, I can only picture the concept of handing out external validation TO myself, which is entirely different, and I know that, so it doesn't really work or make sense. For some, the biggest issue is learning what self-affirming is in the first place, and why it's different from patting yourself on the back as if there were two of you.
So true!! It's great that you've reached a point where you're no longer dependent on external validation and are practicing self-validation. Recognizing that everyone judges based on their own values and beliefs is a huge step toward self-empowerment. How do you plan to maintain this mindset and continue practicing self-care?
These days, anyone can be a self-help guru, but some of these self-care trends can actually harm our mental health. They often simplify complex issues, making it seem like quick fixes or positive thinking can replace real help. Plus, the constant push to always be improving yourself can make people feel like they’re never doing enough, leading to stress and burnout instead of peace.
Ma question c’est que est-ce que tu as vu ta vie avant de regarder si c’est bien ou pas bien pour l’autre personne ! Tu sais que cette personne n’a rien à foutre même si tu es content ou tu n’es pas content 😂🤣😂 de lui ou d’elle
@@LolcocaMême en étant francophone, je ne comprends rien à ce que tu racontes. Si tu attends une réponse, il faudrait que tu reformules plus clairement.
Very valuable video! I have found myself in several of these situations in different times of my life. I am however surprised, that people do dopamine detox also to other things than electronic devices. This can't be healthy and only make you lonely.
The character in the book that I'm writing actually says something that relates to your comment: "If you were to die tomorrow, would you regret today?"
my best self care tip tis to speak to yourself when you feel upset, sad or whatever uncomfortable emotion, like you are a young child. As if you are your own parent, who only wants the best for ist child. This has helped me to take a step bakc from my emotions and recognize them as what they are, just emotions not character flaws. Usually my actions on how to deal with it are then a lot more thoughtful and relaxed than before.
Hi, ahh the dopamine detox, I found out getting dopamine from other sources as well works better, like, the one you get from "harder" stuff that moves you towards a goal. I like self help, applying some stuff, but in moooderation :P
Already figured this one out I was in a very sad mood due to something that happened everybody was complaining cuz I'm normally positive instead of pretending to be happy just to make them happy I continued on and told him to go f*** themselves and then when I was actually done being sad cuz I was able to work through my emotions properly I became an even happier is somebody's got a problem with you properly going through your emotions tell them to suck it😊
Timestamps 1). Toxic positivity 0:49 2). Self-indulgence 1:19 3). Bed rotting 1:51 4). Dopamine detox 2:27 5). Over reliance on self-help 3:19 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This isn’t a recent thing, toxic self care trends were a thing back in the day when we had to buy self help books from the self help aisle in a bookstore. I’ve read a lot of those books and tried a LOT of those trends but many left me feeling even more inadequate and overwhelmed than before ever trying those methods. I feel like self care should be what works for each individual.
"You can own anything you want" (The Secret). No $#!T, Sherlock! I always wanted to have a comfortable life (money-wise), but it's not that simple as keeping mentalizing something until my wish is granted.
I hate toxic positivity! It makes me sick, throwing me into depression. Yeah, EVERYTHING is soooo positive - but wait... if i say something positive its negative, because they tell me i am absolutely negative and that i shouldn't talk about positive because i am negative.... this is so annoying. Mostly i cut people out, but i cant change some people around me. Its so negative for me... Mostly in summer, when everything has to be positive, because we all LOVE summer and heat and everyones calling away the negativity, yeay, so easy! *makes myself some bad noises* sorry for venting everyone. it just this video hit my nerves and i feel finally understand! ❤
About dopamine detox - it is actually might work. But! Only in reasonable amounts! Giving yourself phone-free weekends is great. No social for a few days? Have time to give the retrospective of yours social group. No hobbies? Time to rest-rest and rethinking some bothering moments. The key - not doing everything at ones and not be over the top about "how long i should do it"? 😅
I think the dopamine detox was not explained in a good way. It is the abstainment of instant gratification inducing activities. Primarily giving up social media, alcohol, marijuana, shopping (aside from actual needs like food). It by no means implies no socialization. You just have to look for that socialization in more meaningful ways. Allowing phone calls during certain hours was my exception, but no texting. You can still go out and spend time with people though. And yes, feelings of boredom will happen. That is the point. That is a normal emotion that humans before our time experienced. It invokes our sense of creativity, encourages seratonin inducing activities such as a creative hobby, a physical activity, or reading a good book. I am a huge advocate of dopamine detoxes done in this way, it works wonders for the chronically online codependent
People who feel lonely often attempt to escape this by throwing themselves out there, when in fact they should practice solitude. Actually deciding to spend some time on their own, whatever that may look like. It’s the only way to learn to comfortable with oneself.
I like how the last one not only says that you shouldn't be listening to all these Internet self care trends but also that you shouldn't be watching videos like this, at least moderate it so you don't over focus on trying to fix your habits. It is very important to find different ways to help yourself and not to just constantly listen to people telling you what to do because everyone is a little bit different...
Way too many people have crossed over to the self-indulgent side and claim 'self care' My narc sister was rude, cancelled plans with little or no notice, cared only about what benefitted her.....and put it all under the heading of "Self Care"
Self care for me is doing something you enjoy :]] writing makes me happy and therefore I do it as a form of self care and as stress relief Self care is different for everyone 😊
This video was really helpful! I can relate to over dependency on self and self-indulgence a lot! I'll try to work on these areas. Thank you so much ♡♡
Bed rotting, I've been doing this for so long, nd thinking...that maybe I'm doing something right... Thank you for letting me know, that all these while I was doing it all wrong... Nd I need to change it
The 'Toxic positivity' trend reminds me of some lines i read in a book that goes like this: "Depression is a serious illness. It's physically painful, debilitating. You can't decide to get over it in the same way you can't decide to get over cancer. Sadness is a normal human condition, no different from happiness. You wouldn’t think of happiness as an illness. Sadness and happiness need each other. To exist, each relies on the other." Another line says: " it does seem like there's more opportunity to reflect on feelings of inadequacy, and also a pressure to be happy all the time; which is impossible." Replace the term happiness with the 'positivity' that people overly seek for. It makes perfect sense.
I gave up caffeine - started drinking more water -cut back on alcohol-increased my walking and stretching-I do journaling and I learned to meditate. I went vegan and now must get off sugar. I volunteer 2 places now and feel much better.
ME/CFS is a very different situation than what most people are talking about with bed rot. You're doing what you're able to do to stay connected to the world and your social support, and that's a good and healthy thing. (P.S. I am a therapist by trade, licensed for close to 10 years in my home state.)
One way I use the sort of a de-stress back in the day was to play Sonic generations, make calls in a game like that you really don't have time to dwell on the past or wants to come in the near future just focus on what's coming at you while running at full speed through a level, I think that kind of stuff was what made it low-key therapeutic for me.
Big kudos to you for creating such an amazing video! I recently came across a forbidden book called Herbal Magic Unbound, and it blew my mind. The dark strategies and mind-blowing ideas in this book are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Seriously, you’ve got to check it out.
@Psych2go This was a great break down, thanks for posting. Everyone is different and you should find the things that work for you. It definitely takes time. I'm typically a positive person but I do have days most of the time; but that's life. I can't stand toxic positivity, it can be very harmful in a lot of situations
The second one is so true. Another issue I've seen with people who over do it with self care is that stsrt acting narcissistic and/or act like they uave no stamina to deal woth anything in life.
I’m going to defend my “bed rotting” (even though that’s not what I’m doing, I don’t do that all the time, just 75%) due to not only mental but also increased physical health problems (unrelated to mental health). It’s not something I can necessarily help at this point in time. I don’t get a lot of sleep anymore and I’m completely drained. It’s not just that I don’t have the motivation at times to leave my bed…I literally don’t have the energy. I’m doing everything I can to reach a point where I’m not in this position anymore, but it’s not been easy.
Here's one of my lil quotes "The goal isn't to be happy, the goal is to be, when you learn to just be, you become happy." This is looking towards those who misunderstand the meaning of negativitie emotions, if you look twords staying with a smile on your face and your goal is to just be happy with no room for any slight chance for other emotions it could be very overwhelming. When you learn to be amd except all your emotions dealing with em in a healthy way, you will feel better. My mom was all about toxic positivity and before i knew it was a thing something seemed off. Im glad i learned the way i did just observing. This channel helps alot 100%. And you, drink some water, thank you for living on this earth with me😸 and everyone else. Thank tou for existing and being you. Drink some water, hug yo self and eat sum good. Have a good one🩷🩵🩶🪽
Bedrotting is a form of self-care. Being self-indulgent is also a form of self-care. What is the point of living if you don't indulge yourself? I'd have to disagree heavily on this video and I think it's actually harmful. These are perfectly fine things in moderation and literally all self-care is in moderation.
ngl this is one of my greater fears when i try to practice self care: that i'm doing something for the moment but detrimental in the long term. can we get more videos on self care please? 😅
If that's what is going through your head when you're trying to practice self-care then you're overly thinking about it. Self care is just doing what you want to do in order to calm and relax yourself. Ignore this video. If you want to do it then do it. You do not have to get validated by this video in order to do self-care. All you should be asking yourself when it comes to self-care is will this be relaxing to me? Will this calm me down? Do I want to do this? If the answer is yes to all three then do it! You are not harming yourself in the long run. This is all about moderation and if you want to make sure you don't hurt yourself with self-care all you have to do is be moderate with yourself care. Schedule it every few days and don't overthink it.
I’m going to share an experience I had recently, it doesn’t have anything to do with the video but I wanted to share 😭 Basically I was out somewhere and my phone battery died, and so I dug around and I had one single spare bus ticket (I use my phone to pay usually, plus my phone doesn’t normally die so quickly so it was unusual) and so I got on the bus that I thought should’ve taken me to where I needed to (It was the bus I’d usually take, and I did ask if it was headed in the direction I needed to go) But apparently once it got to one of the stations it ended up going the completely opposite direction I was supposed to go, and with my horrible luck, there were no stops for a really long time, and so I was stranded 16km away from home with no phone or money and had to wait for a couple hours in an unfamiliar place alone with no way to contact anyone before someone let me use their phone to call someone I knew. Needless to say I am quadruple checking to make sure I have my wallet and a phone charger everywhere I go from now on 😭🙈
If anyone here wants to learn more about toxic positivity, I highly recommend the book with the title by Whitney Goodman!! I loved it so much, one of my fave books this year
I'm bipolar 2. I have a friend I'm actually starting to avoid because *she is* that toxic positivity. With bipolar disorder, it is really difficult to get on with a day. I take 4 medications for it. I can't talk to her because she invalidates my feelings every time with her placations of positive memes. She always has *unsolicited advice.* I know she means well, but nevertheless, it makes me feel unheard. Right now I feel like sending her one of the RUclips videos about Toxic Positivity.
Bed rotting isn’t usually for self care. Bed rotting is usually because you can’t get the motivation to get out of bed.
True but I know a few people who bed rot healthily. For instance my sister could have a tough week at work and bet rot for a day or the weekend and get right back to it.
@@lunarialoonatici dont think that’s “bed rotting “ that’s just resting or taking a break 😅
@@lunarialoonaticSame. My bestie works her ASS off and she’s not young, but she knows she needs some serious “bed rotting” to get back on track. And it works every time. She’s in counseling and under the care of a psychologist so she’s sure her habits are healthy for her :)
Being addicted to your phone is also a factor. Waking up and staying in bed, scrolling through social media.
That's not what the video is talking about. 'Bed rotting' is an actual online trend where people are intentionally staying in bed in the name of "self care" and in the name of "taking a break from life"
I used to watch a lot of self-improvement videos and got obsessive about fixing my flaws, until someone told me that my insecurities are not something I can get rid of. Accepting them is the real way to improve our mental health.
Thanks for sharing and being honest about your experience :) It can be tough to hear that insecurities aren't something we can just fix, but accepting them is such a powerful way to find peace within ourselves. How has this shift in perspective impacted the way you approach your insecurities now?
@@Psych2go I've come to realize that many people have the same insecurities I do. It's normal, no one is perfect, so now I'm more understanding and patient with myself and others.
These self-improvement videos can actually be self-destructive, especially the ones promoting dopamine detox or toxicity. Like "be hostile to other people for them to respect you" or "isolate yourself from the world because you only need yourself".
Exactly, don´t fight but integrate as Carl Jung would say.
0:50 Toxic positivity
1:21 Self-indulgence
1:52 Bed rotting
2:28 Dopamine detox
3:20 Overreliance on self-help
Tysm
Thx for helping me and helping others with this comment 🙏🏽
Well done
Thank you 😊
Ty
This is why you shouldn’t try random trends you see on the internet. It might end up with you ending up hurt or in a bad situation. Like the bed rotting. It won’t really do you much. But it’s fine to laze around a bit, just not all the time.
Thanks for making this video!
A lot of people I knew who were into toxic positivity would watch a few of those motivational videos on YT and TikTok and think that with a little bit of motivation, we’d all be cured from our mental illnesses, as if there’s a one size fits all solution to everything.
@@user7-o9wElles font ce qu’elles veuillent et ce n’est pas ça qui vont leur faire changer de vie !
Tu peux rester dans la négativité ou positivité ! Personne n’a rien à foutre et surtout eux ou elles 😂🤣😂 donc tu peux te plaindre mais ça ne changera pas à la personne 😂🤣
@@user7-o9w It’s not a good way to cure a mental illness… (AND TBH IDK IF IT WORKS OR NOT).
Remember that some mental illness can last for a person’s entire life (for example, autism). I have a little cousin who is autistic and comes to me when something is bothering him. When he feels sad, I give him some words of motivation! There, I am helping him feel better and focus more, but not cure, for there isn’t a permanent cure (IF IM NOT MISTAKEN).
Also, not everything works for everyone the same way it may work for you. As the video said, improving mental health is your personal journey, and only yours. I find it disappointing how some people think everyone needs the exact same thing as the other guy to be mentally healthy.
We hope this helped you! :) What other trends have you seen on the internet that you think might be harmful?
@@Psych2goa lack of limbic friction resulting the shrinkage of the aMCC(anterior midcingulate cortex), which is the brain region that's responsible for our very own will to live.
on days where you're stuck in bed and everything is too hard, simply moving to different areas of your living space and sitting there can really help. Even if you move from the bed to the floor, and then the floor to the doorway. The effort of simply moving somewhere else can really make a difference, just make sure you're being gentle :)
That’s a lovely, gentle and very doable suggestion ❤. Thank you! 🙏
What if my prison is not physical, but mental?
@@ChineduOpara You can't think your way in better actions. You have to act your way into better thinking. The suggestion is just that.
@kayladonnrichardson7384 You're right. I'll go talk to the renowned Professor Charles Xavier, maybe he can help me figure this out...
If you feel out of whack, like an internal upset for no apparent reason. One thing that really helped me understand my adhd was that every day I have to drain both my mental/physical energy to feel a state of balance. Having to much mental stimuli while not being physically active will make you go “stir crazy” and feel relentless.
Or have racing thoughts if you do not put your mind on enough productive tasks in a day!
And what you focus on you give energy too. ❤🎉
Balancing the physical and the mental is great advice! ❤
Thank you for this advice! I also have ADHD, it makes sense what you say, I’ll be thinking about that in the future! 🙏👌✨
my takes from this is that : it's important to be "balanced"
most of this become detrimental when it's done excessively
Exactly it's perfectly fine to do. It's the moderation it's the problem. There's nothing wrong with sleeping in bed because you're tired or indulging yourself in some candy because you want to 😂
Nothing I regret more than falling for that minimalism trend. Got rid of my stuff. Felt horrible living in that heartless atmosphere and bought everything back. Lesson learned. 😅
Minimalism doesn't demand abstinence from things you like or give you fulfillment. If it brings you joy & purpose, keep it.
Healthy Minimalism is about reducing useless junk, that is never used nor does it being anything to the soul. It just clutters physical & psychological space.
As they say in the video: excessively getting rid of "everything" isn't balanced. But many people fall for the "more is better" fallacy (a normal thing), and end up in another extreme.
Take care 🥰
I also dislike the minimalism trend. In the end it's just an excessive form to clean up your place and getting rid of stuff you don't use anymore. But what I have seen so far, not in a good way.
I know so many people who got rid of all their children's toys, got rid of christmas presents saying their children's didn't need junk and now those kids are in college and they are confused why they never go home.
@@RunnyBabbitMom Point in (my) case: that is extremist, and as such always destructive. Similar as cluttering and hoarding.
Minimalism is about making conscious choices that contribute to life, against the trends of endless, unchecked growth and greed, but also NOT reducing it to unlivable conditions where it affects one negatively.
It is possible to have less (as long as it is a dicision and possibility, not a matter of outside circumstances) AND be happy. Just don't be to extreme and see value in things that matter to you.
@@yt_n-c0de-r That is what I was saying the extremism that you were talking about can lead to. If children grow up with nothing they have nothing to go "home" to.
I get what they're saying about the dopamine detox but at the same time though some people have to go cold turkey in order to overcome dopamine addiction. Some people can't just just watch a bit of TV here and there and go on their phone sparingly. Dopamine and digital addiction is a real thing that a lot of people have and saying that people should just find a balance is like telling a heroine addict to find a balance taking heroine. People who are addicted will not exercise and meditate because they are too busy getting the dopamine rush from certain things like technology. I honestly believe rehab centres should be set up for people who have an addiction to screens (phone, internet, TV, games etc) because these addictions are probably more common nowadays than alcohol and drugs. Spending most of your time looking at a screen can still have a devastating affect on your life and mental and physical health. I wish dopamine and digital addiction were taken more seriously.
I don't know anyone that calls bed rotting a self care routine. When people talk about bed rotting it is usually in regards to the fact that they already are depressed or do not have the motivation to see a reason to continue doing their work. There are some people who believe in bed rot days. But this is a little different. That's talking about a situation where somebody stays in bed on a day off, and simply enjoys relaxing. Sometimes putting off things like house cleaning. But it's not a self-care routine meant to be done everyday. There are just some days you need a day to be in bed and not have to answer to anyone else. And I will 100% swear by that being a good thing every once in awhile.
Exactly - moderation!
Totally agree with this, thank you!🙏✨
I do a lot of toxic positivity to myself. I expect myself to always be happy and positive 24/7, and never struggle. If I show emotions of hardship, I don’t accept myself for it. I put so many restrictions. I guilt and shame myself for feeling unhappy. I also expect myself to change overnight. I’m extremely aware of my flaws and actions, that my self belief goes to, “it’s easy. Stop doing the things you don’t like about yourself. Being that you believe in yourself that you’re capable of changing it, then do it and get the results RIGHT EXACTLY NOW!!”
When someone said, "I'm a bad person," I took it seriously and began to feel worthless. I
You care too much about others thinks of you 😂😂
@@Lolcoca lol I know. This is all too true. But it’s all about what I was told 🙄🙄🙄🙄
@@Lolcoca by the way, it’s you care too much about what others think. Not “you care too much others thinks.” That’s not how you’re supposed to type.
Acknowledging the issue is the first step to solving it. Good job!
I genuinely love and respect this channel so much. You explain psychological and mental health topics in such a simple and relatable way, but talk a lot about scientific finds backed with research. I love your work and I hope you get to help people for a long time
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! It means a lot to know that our content resonates with you and helps make these important topics more accessible. What topics would you like to see us cover in the future?
I honestly would rather deal with pessimists than be around those who are very into toxic positivity. It’s like they ignore reality and are in denial, while those who are always negative at least acknowledges the truth. Sometimes, facing the darker sides of life is more honest and real than forcing a smile.
Exactly
@@Erica-qy8rh you sound like a friend I know she’s committed 60 suicide attempts but failed she’s FINALLY healing and I’m so happy for her
You’re not wrong. I do feel bad for those people bc there’s not one toxic positive person I have met who hasn’t gone through it. they are like that for a reason. In fact my old ex friend was like yjey bc she was always taught that crying was bad and that she had to be happy for her family. She’s better now, but even though those kinds of people drive me crazy I could never hate them
I'd rather not deal with either. People who fake positivity the way you're describing are toxic as hell and drain so much from you. But pessimists or overtly negative people, can also drain from you and take away motivation or inspiration to do things, whether it's doing things you enjoy or doing things that will make you improve
@@ironmaiden93ofangmar you’re right that’s quite valid but in this life u simply can’t avoid those type of people so just thug it out like me
00:51 toxic positivity
1:21 self-indulgence
1:53 bed rotting
2:28 dopamine detox
3:20 over reliance on self-help
“The only person you need is yourself” my ass. Literal scientific studies on how we need other people.
Yeah. From the time I was 12 years old till 24, I’ve realized painfully being lonely can get too lonely. You Need people. Just the right ones.
Amen. Alarming how many people believe this these days.
Humans are innately social animals. Sometimes one only needs 2 or 5 people to be close to, but being a happy hermit is rare
So true. So much of the "Self-care" community should just be called "Selfishness" community. "Love yourself first" "All you need is yourself" "Self, self, self, blah, blah, blah" What a HORRIBLE way to live.
As someone who has always been an oddball, I genuinely like being by myself more than being surrounded by people. Other people usually only bring me negativity and make me feel worse. It's not always about being selfish, sometimes you just aren't able to connect to people at all and being alone is when you are truly happy and content.
I can’t recommend the book Herbal Magic Unbound enough. It’s a fascinating read that goes deep into transformative practices. It had a profound impact on my life, and I think it could do the same for you.
What kind of impact?
I personally ask those I know I healthily trust for advice on my self-care. Because if I ask myself, I get the rabbit hole of trouble happening in my mind. Asking them helps me to understand and set what is fit for me and I adjust when I need the self-care.
I like the emphasis on if dopamine detox is done excessively and incorrectly
There is nothing wrong with detoxing from devices or social media. It actually helps with finding time to socialize with real people in person. Some social media can be stressful and hateful.
The point was though that people are dopamine detoxing ALL pleasurable activities including socializing with real people
I remember there have been times when I was somehow surrounded by what you have said in the first section.
It is really painful, especially if you struggle standing in for your own being.
Sadly, most people don't know how to practice self-care. Most people seek external validation from others. I used to be like this as well. When someone said, "I'm a bad person," I took it seriously and began to feel worthless. I always felt insecure about my choices, fearing that people would judge me if my choices and actions didn’t satisfy them. But later, I realised that everyone judges based on their own values and beliefs. A person’s values and beliefs are influenced by their upbringing, culture, and personal experiences. Everyone's values and beliefs are subjective: what one person considers wrong may be right from another person's perspective. I also realised that people will not focus on my good inner qualities or emotional complexities, and they will judge me from the surface level. I also experience cognitive dissonance many times but many people don't know what cognitive dissonance is. Cognitive dissonance is normal and it is the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. So, finally, I'm no longer dependent on their validation. I’m practising self-validation.
Well said
Trying to find balance between self love and narcissism is a tricky path, coming from an autistic girl who was raised by narcissistic parents. After years of self hatred, then a couple years of complete pessimism, I remember my own self validation is top tier, however, I need to take into consideration what others have said about me as well so I can grow to become the truest, kindest version of me. ❤
@@andreajones65 I don’t care about the compliments of others whether : positive or negative ! I do wherever I want 😂😂
Dommage hein 😂🤣😂
Something I've noticed about external validation is that it's really hard to wrap my head around any kind of validation that isn't external. Thinking about self-validation, I can only picture the concept of handing out external validation TO myself, which is entirely different, and I know that, so it doesn't really work or make sense. For some, the biggest issue is learning what self-affirming is in the first place, and why it's different from patting yourself on the back as if there were two of you.
So true!! It's great that you've reached a point where you're no longer dependent on external validation and are practicing self-validation. Recognizing that everyone judges based on their own values and beliefs is a huge step toward self-empowerment. How do you plan to maintain this mindset and continue practicing self-care?
These days, anyone can be a self-help guru, but some of these self-care trends can actually harm our mental health. They often simplify complex issues, making it seem like quick fixes or positive thinking can replace real help. Plus, the constant push to always be improving yourself can make people feel like they’re never doing enough, leading to stress and burnout instead of peace.
Ma question c’est que est-ce que tu as vu ta vie avant de regarder si c’est bien ou pas bien pour l’autre personne !
Tu sais que cette personne n’a rien à foutre même si tu es content ou tu n’es pas content 😂🤣😂 de lui ou d’elle
@@Lolcoca what?
@@LolcocaMême en étant francophone, je ne comprends rien à ce que tu racontes. Si tu attends une réponse, il faudrait que tu reformules plus clairement.
Very valuable video!
I have found myself in several of these situations in different times of my life. I am however surprised, that people do dopamine detox also to other things than electronic devices. This can't be healthy and only make you lonely.
1:52 The Bedrotting part is great explanation
Okay, I honestly love how Psych2go teaches us to be good from our bad habits (if we have)
The greatest self-care of all is spending what you have set away for the future. No one is guaranteed tomorrow…
The character in the book that I'm writing actually says something that relates to your comment:
"If you were to die tomorrow, would you regret today?"
Wow that’s really deep, great quote. 👍
😂 💯
my best self care tip tis to speak to yourself when you feel upset, sad or whatever uncomfortable emotion, like you are a young child. As if you are your own parent, who only wants the best for ist child.
This has helped me to take a step bakc from my emotions and recognize them as what they are, just emotions not character flaws. Usually my actions on how to deal with it are then a lot more thoughtful and relaxed than before.
*I'm glad you made this video,* it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $89k biweekly and a good daughter full of love..
Please how ?
Am a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down 😭 of myself because of low finance but I still believe God😞
It's Maria Angelina Alexander doing she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.
$356K monthly is something you should feel differently about....
Lovely! I enjoyed it like I enjoy a $100k monthly around the turn!!!
Hi, ahh the dopamine detox, I found out getting dopamine from other sources as well works better, like, the one you get from "harder" stuff that moves you towards a goal. I like self help, applying some stuff, but in moooderation :P
Already figured this one out I was in a very sad mood due to something that happened everybody was complaining cuz I'm normally positive instead of pretending to be happy just to make them happy I continued on and told him to go f*** themselves and then when I was actually done being sad cuz I was able to work through my emotions properly I became an even happier is somebody's got a problem with you properly going through your emotions tell them to suck it😊
My question : why you care about those people ? They pay your bills, you taxes, your food ?
If not, GARBAGE 🗑️ 😂🤣😂
Timestamps
1). Toxic positivity 0:49
2). Self-indulgence 1:19
3). Bed rotting 1:51
4). Dopamine detox 2:27
5). Over reliance on self-help 3:19
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
This isn’t a recent thing, toxic self care trends were a thing back in the day when we had to buy self help books from the self help aisle in a bookstore. I’ve read a lot of those books and tried a LOT of those trends but many left me feeling even more inadequate and overwhelmed than before ever trying those methods. I feel like self care should be what works for each individual.
I don’t interested to read book about self-care or on RUclips !
My life is not a book or some randoms videos on RUclips 😂🤣😂
"You can own anything you want" (The Secret). No $#!T, Sherlock! I always wanted to have a comfortable life (money-wise), but it's not that simple as keeping mentalizing something until my wish is granted.
I self-care three times a day.
I hate toxic positivity! It makes me sick, throwing me into depression. Yeah, EVERYTHING is soooo positive - but wait... if i say something positive its negative, because they tell me i am absolutely negative and that i shouldn't talk about positive because i am negative.... this is so annoying. Mostly i cut people out, but i cant change some people around me. Its so negative for me... Mostly in summer, when everything has to be positive, because we all LOVE summer and heat and everyones calling away the negativity, yeay, so easy! *makes myself some bad noises*
sorry for venting everyone.
it just this video hit my nerves and i feel finally understand! ❤
Ça c’est ton problème 😂🤣😂 parce que t’es con
Personne n’a rien à foutre que tu es négative ou positive ! 😂🤣😂
Nobody cares about your feelings : positive or negative ! Do wherever you want : positive or negative 😂🤣😂
@@Lolcocaor try to find balance within your feelings
About dopamine detox - it is actually might work. But! Only in reasonable amounts!
Giving yourself phone-free weekends is great. No social for a few days? Have time to give the retrospective of yours social group. No hobbies? Time to rest-rest and rethinking some bothering moments.
The key - not doing everything at ones and not be over the top about "how long i should do it"? 😅
I think the dopamine detox was not explained in a good way. It is the abstainment of instant gratification inducing activities. Primarily giving up social media, alcohol, marijuana, shopping (aside from actual needs like food). It by no means implies no socialization. You just have to look for that socialization in more meaningful ways. Allowing phone calls during certain hours was my exception, but no texting. You can still go out and spend time with people though. And yes, feelings of boredom will happen. That is the point. That is a normal emotion that humans before our time experienced. It invokes our sense of creativity, encourages seratonin inducing activities such as a creative hobby, a physical activity, or reading a good book. I am a huge advocate of dopamine detoxes done in this way, it works wonders for the chronically online codependent
No hate but Where's the old OG voice?... It just felt kinda homely because I'm used to hear it on this channel
Finally, a video that takes a critical look at many toxic self-care mantras... Great insights
People who feel lonely often attempt to escape this by throwing themselves out there, when in fact they should practice solitude. Actually deciding to spend some time on their own, whatever that may look like. It’s the only way to learn to comfortable with oneself.
💯yes, agree!
I like how the last one not only says that you shouldn't be listening to all these Internet self care trends but also that you shouldn't be watching videos like this, at least moderate it so you don't over focus on trying to fix your habits. It is very important to find different ways to help yourself and not to just constantly listen to people telling you what to do because everyone is a little bit different...
Way too many people have crossed over to the self-indulgent side and claim 'self care' My narc sister was rude, cancelled plans with little or no notice, cared only about what benefitted her.....and put it all under the heading of "Self Care"
I'm trying to slowly take care of myself, ya know trying to get back into my groove when I was younger
Toxic positivity. I'm sick of the "good vibes only" bs
I am toxic and I am happy🎉 you don't need to be good always, sometimes you have to give freedom to your own devils, that's part of your wellbeing❤
Thank you! Great video! It's all about finding the right balance.
Self care for me is doing something you enjoy :]] writing makes me happy and therefore I do it as a form of self care and as stress relief
Self care is different for everyone 😊
It's always smart to question all kinds of things that are meant to be "good for you" 🤔
This video was really helpful! I can relate to over dependency on self and self-indulgence a lot! I'll try to work on these areas. Thank you so much ♡♡
This advice become a billion times more important when you struggle with serious health issues.
Thank you!!!
I love the art style. The animation is so fluid and bouncy
Please don’t change my favorite voice 🥲 it’s so sweet and calm…
Bed rotting, I've been doing this for so long, nd thinking...that maybe I'm doing something right... Thank you for letting me know, that all these while I was doing it all wrong... Nd I need to change it
The 'Toxic positivity' trend reminds me of some lines i read in a book that goes like this:
"Depression is a serious illness. It's physically painful, debilitating. You can't decide to get over it in the same way you can't decide to get over cancer.
Sadness is a normal human condition, no different from happiness. You wouldn’t think of happiness as an illness. Sadness and happiness need each other. To exist, each relies on the other."
Another line says:
" it does seem like there's more opportunity to reflect on feelings of inadequacy, and also a pressure to be happy all the time; which is impossible."
Replace the term happiness with the 'positivity' that people overly seek for. It makes perfect sense.
I gave up caffeine - started drinking more water -cut back on alcohol-increased my walking and stretching-I do journaling and I learned to meditate. I went vegan and now must get off sugar. I volunteer 2 places now and feel much better.
Love your animated little plant guys. So cute.
Hah! I’m housebound and sometimes bedbound (I have ME/CFS) and bed rotting at least made me feel as if I was connected to the outside world.
ME/CFS is a very different situation than what most people are talking about with bed rot. You're doing what you're able to do to stay connected to the world and your social support, and that's a good and healthy thing. (P.S. I am a therapist by trade, licensed for close to 10 years in my home state.)
I video I desperately needed ❤
"Anything and everything done excessively will cause harm "
One way I use the sort of a de-stress back in the day was to play Sonic generations, make calls in a game like that you really don't have time to dwell on the past or wants to come in the near future just focus on what's coming at you while running at full speed through a level, I think that kind of stuff was what made it low-key therapeutic for me.
Thank you helping a lot in life
Big kudos to you for creating such an amazing video! I recently came across a forbidden book called Herbal Magic Unbound, and it blew my mind. The dark strategies and mind-blowing ideas in this book are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Seriously, you’ve got to check it out.
Needed this so badly
when will you guys finally make time stamps?
I always have to scroll the comments for this... while now there are not put yet.
Difficulty.
Promotes resilience, and self worth.
I really like the thumbnail. It's awesome!
@Psych2go This was a great break down, thanks for posting. Everyone is different and you should find the things that work for you. It definitely takes time.
I'm typically a positive person but I do have days most of the time; but that's life. I can't stand toxic positivity, it can be very harmful in a lot of situations
The second one is so true. Another issue I've seen with people who over do it with self care is that stsrt acting narcissistic and/or act like they uave no stamina to deal woth anything in life.
Thanks for sharing! I agree. Balance is key
this channel hits different at 3am
Most of these boil down to one concept: balance.
Moderation.
This is how we can see things differently
I'm not supposed to gaslight myself into thinking I'm happy? Oops
What happened to my favourite narrator? Her voice is so soothing 😌
i mainly watch because i like the voice its so calming
I’m going to defend my “bed rotting” (even though that’s not what I’m doing, I don’t do that all the time, just 75%) due to not only mental but also increased physical health problems (unrelated to mental health). It’s not something I can necessarily help at this point in time. I don’t get a lot of sleep anymore and I’m completely drained. It’s not just that I don’t have the motivation at times to leave my bed…I literally don’t have the energy. I’m doing everything I can to reach a point where I’m not in this position anymore, but it’s not been easy.
A lot of people are willing to anyone popular especially in social media even when it is false and harming your mental health.
C’est leur vie pas la vôtre ! Chacun est libre de faire ce qu’il ou elle veut dans sa vie !
Si tu n’es pas content ! C’est ton problème 😂🤣
Please bring back narrator Amanda Silvera’s voice 😔😔🥺
Right! Whered she go?
Ahhh yess rn😊
be kind, theres a reason for it
@@maarin1863 which is?
@@THEDOORIZCLOSED non of our bussiness (:
Here's one of my lil quotes
"The goal isn't to be happy, the goal is to be, when you learn to just be, you become happy."
This is looking towards those who misunderstand the meaning of negativitie emotions, if you look twords staying with a smile on your face and your goal is to just be happy with no room for any slight chance for other emotions it could be very overwhelming. When you learn to be amd except all your emotions dealing with em in a healthy way, you will feel better. My mom was all about toxic positivity and before i knew it was a thing something seemed off. Im glad i learned the way i did just observing. This channel helps alot 100%. And you, drink some water, thank you for living on this earth with me😸 and everyone else. Thank tou for existing and being you. Drink some water, hug yo self and eat sum good. Have a good one🩷🩵🩶🪽
3:55 Get jiggy with it
Haha 😂
I've never heard of bed rotting, then again once I am awake, I just HAVE to get up, and make a cuppa
Tysm
Bedrotting is a form of self-care. Being self-indulgent is also a form of self-care. What is the point of living if you don't indulge yourself? I'd have to disagree heavily on this video and I think it's actually harmful. These are perfectly fine things in moderation and literally all self-care is in moderation.
ngl this is one of my greater fears when i try to practice self care: that i'm doing something for the moment but detrimental in the long term. can we get more videos on self care please? 😅
If that's what is going through your head when you're trying to practice self-care then you're overly thinking about it. Self care is just doing what you want to do in order to calm and relax yourself. Ignore this video. If you want to do it then do it. You do not have to get validated by this video in order to do self-care. All you should be asking yourself when it comes to self-care is will this be relaxing to me? Will this calm me down? Do I want to do this? If the answer is yes to all three then do it! You are not harming yourself in the long run. This is all about moderation and if you want to make sure you don't hurt yourself with self-care all you have to do is be moderate with yourself care. Schedule it every few days and don't overthink it.
I get detoxing from electronics and social media, but stepping completely away from socializing or working out seems like a bad plan.
OMG - all of those sound TERRIBLE. Those are actually TRENDS??
I agree that choosing the right method and keeping a balance in life are important.
Nice video
Very cool
That usually care of about
I’m going to share an experience I had recently, it doesn’t have anything to do with the video but I wanted to share 😭
Basically I was out somewhere and my phone battery died, and so I dug around and I had one single spare bus ticket (I use my phone to pay usually, plus my phone doesn’t normally die so quickly so it was unusual) and so I got on the bus that I thought should’ve taken me to where I needed to (It was the bus I’d usually take, and I did ask if it was headed in the direction I needed to go) But apparently once it got to one of the stations it ended up going the completely opposite direction I was supposed to go, and with my horrible luck, there were no stops for a really long time, and so I was stranded 16km away from home with no phone or money and had to wait for a couple hours in an unfamiliar place alone with no way to contact anyone before someone let me use their phone to call someone I knew.
Needless to say I am quadruple checking to make sure I have my wallet and a phone charger everywhere I go from now on 😭🙈
💙💙💙
I wanna ask how many personas working in this channel ❤
To put this video's lessons in one line-
'Life is all about BALANCE'
omg this is what i need
If anyone here wants to learn more about toxic positivity, I highly recommend the book with the title by Whitney Goodman!! I loved it so much, one of my fave books this year
The last one tho-
Not me watching self help and productivity videos instead of studying 😂
Thanks
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I usually just listen to your videos
Good 👍
I'm bipolar 2. I have a friend I'm actually starting to avoid because *she is* that toxic positivity.
With bipolar disorder, it is really difficult to get on with a day. I take 4 medications for it. I can't talk to her because she invalidates my feelings every time with her placations of positive memes. She always has *unsolicited advice.* I know she means well, but nevertheless, it makes me feel unheard.
Right now I feel like sending her one of the RUclips videos about Toxic Positivity.
Lol, I am very glad I am not using tiktok 😅 never heard of bed rotting, but staying in bed all day for me is usually a sign that I am not doing good 😅