I saw Joe speak at a meeting a few years back, he had 1 card that he gave away. Dozens of people ran up to the stage to get it. And the woman who got it, sold it to someone at the meeting for $1000.. True story..
@@dainTexas We had Joel Speak to our group back in the day called Stompernet... at our early morning session he had a 100 people line that he ran out of cards... he is 100% the real deal!!!
@@1-800MejorMasaje It was in Atlanta at a Stompernet event. He did his presentation, and at the end, he had a line of people waiting to pay him $20k for his course.
That was so close to becoming a Too Many Cooks esque infinite satire where he keeps unfolding the business card forever. “And here’s the scratch and sniff section, it’ll take you 45 minutes just to smell it all.” “This part is a riddle.” “Over in this corner is a maze challenge.”
@@jeffreynewell6322I lobbied Congress… SUCCESSFULLY… to make it a Federal crime to throw this business card in the trash. But as an added protection, I got the five best witch doctors in the world to put a curse on each and every one of my cards. If someone tries to get rid of it, it just reappears beside them when they wake up. Throwing it in a volcano isn’t enough to break the curse. Eventually, the business card consumes you and you become part of my business card.
I would keep it for life to show literally everyone. Are you kidding me something that hilarious does not belong in the trash. I guess he might be going for that though...
My business cards cost 149.99 each and I always give 3 out at time. This is because they fold out and can be fashioned into a small stool, and a small table. So one is to sit on, the other is to lean on as you read the third business card which takes about an hour. It also has a small tin whistle glued on it to form a crowd around you. This way I don't merely guarantee forming crowds, I enable you to do it on the spot. Guarantees . . . BAH!
Dude started designing his business card back when Miami Vice was the hottest show on T.V. Then, low and behold, as soon as he finished his masterpiece: smartphones came out. You can now Tweet, text, email etc. Poor bastard.
Well, Must of Have sucked because this video is 11 years old and the latest video is 7 years ago and it is Aug 2020 about to be Sept. I remember showing my friends this video and we laughed so hard and it is still funny today.
When I first saw this, I thought it was a joke. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've seen back in the mid 2000's. Now that I'm actually working as a designer (also former printer and finisher/diecutter), this card literally has many processes that needs to be done. There are so many places for errors, I'm wondering how many trials he had to do to get it all perfected. One thing I can guarantee, getting that business card made for Joel Bauer would be a pain in the butt.
@@MIGHTYRONIN We had Joel Speak to our group back in the day called Stompernet... at our early morning session he had a 100 people line that he ran out of cards... he is 100% the real deal!!!
I'm sure that even if there were business card enthusiasts, they wouldn't like his card. It was shit... Literally everybody is going to throw away a dickhole card like that, or keep it as a reminder never to call you, for making a business card that doesn't even fit in a fucking wallet, or anything else meant to hold business cards.
Gerald Bieniek no way dude, business cards are boring as fuck and most of the time I only keep them because I know the person can help me or because there's an interesting/funny picture on it. This card is hilarious AND has balls, it's a win-win!
Life is not about being effective. Life is about being happy. 25 years is too long for designing a card. And cutting down on finishing options might be a good idea.
If you're paying $4 per card, you're getting taken for a ride and makes me call into question everything else you said. Also card looks like George Lucas designed it. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH STUFF IN EVERY SCENE!
Thanks for the chuckle. Great comment. I'm from the U.S., and *even when I was a kid* in the 80's when marketing to children went batshit crazy, I thought the whole hyper-optimistic, smile constantly, delusional Disney-euphoric, My-Life-is-Corporate-Marketing-and-fakeness outlook and attitude were creepy and unnatural, not to mention grating. And, I was only 8. Born with a gift for disillusionment!
I never thought I'd say this, but all American Psycho energy aside, the man actually has a point about it being a good idea to practice summarizing your key skill.
Wow! Awesome message! Great advice. I have been developing iPhone/iPad apps for more than 2 years. My biggest challenge has not been the technical aspect but the marketing aspect. This video confirms that I have more to do with my marketing approach. Thanks and keep uploading to RUclips. It helps! KBCAppstore
BooDan74 Joel Bauer isn’t a comedian. I’ve seen him talk about this clip - he put on a persona for this. When he speaks normally, it’s a lot less robust and more calm. But I took a course from him and learned a TON
Um, who WOULDN'T! He's clearly the best man for the job. What is the job? Doesn't matter. He'll crush it. Marketing? Crushed. Advertising? Crushed. Babies? Crushed.
James Kristofik actually i would because when i get a business card i want to be able to refer to it if needed. Not have it get bent to shit as it sits uncomfortably in my back pocket literally being a pain in the ass. i mean i get what he is trying to say, but at the same time that only works for incredibly stupid people who associate bigger and flasher with better.
James Kristofik Ha, I would throw it out immediately. It wouldn't fit in my pocket, everything else is irrelevant. Anyone who thinks that a legitimate business person gives a shit what your card looks like should stay out of business. I hand people my card because they want a way to contact me and it's easy, not so that I can have an opportunity to be a pretentious fuck.
No matter what people may think about you, or say in their comments below. . .YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONE THING. . .very well. . .you have POSITIONED yourself in everyone's mind, especially those who receive your card. That is the name of the game. WELL DONE!
@@BrianaSkyeBauer Please tell me he's your pop or brother or something. =) You know this guy has brought smiles and laughs to so many people from so many walks of life. Cheers to you. Say hi to him.
Wayyyy riding the wave with the other Game Grump fans who came over here... All i can say is, was he planning his business card for 25 years straight! Because i've had die cut business cards, and that idea came to me almost instantly!!! My website, die cut. My deets, orange foil, embossed... And, also, $4 a card? Fuck off. What a twat. Mine are about 40p each, and i feel like i'm being ripped off!!!
+zimriel like making a successful business card? I'm just laughing at how random as fuck this video is and how cocky this guy is about a piece of cardboard you put your business card on.
This classic! What annoys me in the entertainment business is business cards without a photo. When I find a business card years later with a photo I remember who that is immediately. When it doesn't have a photo I've never a clue who it is and throw it away.
Look at that subtle off-black coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god it even has a fold out cheering crowd... I have to return some video tapes.
That's not a business card! That's a coaster! But all of those great features are a major hit with drunk people waiting for the waitress to bring them another beer.
Aside from the fact that it took him 25 years to make (Which is hilarious by the way) you can't deny the guy has a point. If I got his business card and someone else's regular looking card 9 times outta 10 I'm gonna call him just cause he took that extra time to make that business card look amazing. If he takes the time on that, imagine what he might take the time for me. Thats the thought he provoked with his card.
This reminds me of the business card scene in "American Psycho". Steve Wozniac has a very cool laser-cut stainless steel business card...and it will fit into your pocket.
Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh, my God. It even has a watermark.
Haha, first thing I thought of when watching this.
Urge to kill... rising
Chanel G awesome,!!
Thats what she said
ahahahah american psycho
I have a feeling American Psycho is this guy's favorite movie
Clever Brunozoid HEY PAUL!
Hahahah yes
@@vandagylon2885 Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!!!!
And I assure you, be DOES NOT get the theme.
He could literally be Patrick Bateman
This is hilarious solely because he's 112% serious business about it.
are you sure I always thought this was a sketch for a comedy show haha
@@roundtheloopandback no there's another video of him organizing his cartoonishly precise suitcase. he's dead serious
It's not satire?
Let's see Paul Allen's card
When the children's book pop-up appeared, I laughed so hard.
This is an ultimate classic. I want this playing on loop at my funeral.
…and your casket looks like a giant business card!!
@@victorrainThe casket is cheap Strathmore stock
@@mohawk5010”…The ⚰️ is expensive. It’s about $4 a ⚰️…because of the stock. It doesn’t fit in a Rolodex because it doesn’t belong in a Rolodex.”
I saw Joe speak at a meeting a few years back, he had 1 card that he gave away. Dozens of people ran up to the stage to get it. And the woman who got it, sold it to someone at the meeting for $1000.. True story..
Is that a claim he made?
@@dainTexas We had Joel Speak to our group back in the day called Stompernet... at our early morning session he had a 100 people line that he ran out of cards... he is 100% the real deal!!!
Ronald... curious how you came to know Joel?
@@1-800MejorMasaje It was in Atlanta at a Stompernet event. He did his presentation, and at the end, he had a line of people waiting to pay him $20k for his course.
People are insane lol
"You see that card? *holds it up* this is the most impressive business card I ever seen. It's mine."
Well he certainly has a high opinion of himself.
When he was talking about its virtues, i half expected him to say ninjas could use it as a throwing weapon
Dude his business card is a photo up photo book. That is impressive
🤣
doesn't fit in my wallet? into the garbage
i agree. this card is shit men
it doesn't fit in your wallet because it doesn't BELONG in your wallet
Narcissism in it's natural environment.
*****
Right, "its." Thank you.
Do you think this guy has done some blow? I'm surprised his card doesn't have a built in straw.
This was a long time ago. Twitter is now the natural environment for narcissism.
That was so close to becoming a Too Many Cooks esque infinite satire where he keeps unfolding the business card forever.
“And here’s the scratch and sniff section, it’ll take you 45 minutes just to smell it all.”
“This part is a riddle.”
“Over in this corner is a maze challenge.”
“People won’t throw it away because they literally can’t.”
@@jeffreynewell6322I lobbied Congress… SUCCESSFULLY… to make it a Federal crime to throw this business card in the trash. But as an added protection, I got the five best witch doctors in the world to put a curse on each and every one of my cards. If someone tries to get rid of it, it just reappears beside them when they wake up. Throwing it in a volcano isn’t enough to break the curse. Eventually, the business card consumes you and you become part of my business card.
I'd get a nice laugh if someone handed me that, then it is getting tossed straight in the trash.
I would keep it for life to show literally everyone. Are you kidding me something that hilarious does not belong in the trash.
I guess he might be going for that though...
ruclips.net/video/4PNZSgVVgJo/видео.html
and you'd always remember it. and that's the point. life is not about being liked.. it's about being effective.
geddoe316 EXACTLY. took the words right out of my mouth, but I couldn't have said it any better myself.
My business cards cost 149.99 each and I always give 3 out at time. This is because they fold out and can be fashioned into a small stool, and a small table. So one is to sit on, the other is to lean on as you read the third business card which takes about an hour. It also has a small tin whistle glued on it to form a crowd around you. This way I don't merely guarantee forming crowds, I enable you to do it on the spot. Guarantees . . . BAH!
My business card has two wheels and a seat. It also has a chain and brakes. It's not a bicycle, I swear. No, you can't have it.
Dude started designing his business card back when Miami Vice was the hottest show on T.V. Then, low and behold, as soon as he finished his masterpiece: smartphones came out. You can now Tweet, text, email etc. Poor bastard.
well to be fair, twitter is a piece of shit abomination and should never be taken serious. cause well... it's twitter.
Neil Mason people still use business cards, are u nuts?
Lol business cards are still considered very important
lo
Well, Must of Have sucked because this video is 11 years old and the latest video is 7 years ago and it is Aug 2020 about to be Sept. I remember showing my friends this video and we laughed so hard and it is still funny today.
“Even if they don't like me…”
Not possible, he’s way too likable.
When I first saw this, I thought it was a joke. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've seen back in the mid 2000's. Now that I'm actually working as a designer (also former printer and finisher/diecutter), this card literally has many processes that needs to be done. There are so many places for errors, I'm wondering how many trials he had to do to get it all perfected.
One thing I can guarantee, getting that business card made for Joel Bauer would be a pain in the butt.
It DID take 25 years to design.. 😂
@@MIGHTYRONIN We had Joel Speak to our group back in the day called Stompernet... at our early morning session he had a 100 people line that he ran out of cards... he is 100% the real deal!!!
_"It doesn't fit in a rolodex because it doesn't belong in a rolodex"_
Poor bloke has no idea how right he is for the wrong reasons.
What’s the “right” reason(s)?
@@heavyizthacrown-5842 When was the last time you've seen a Rolodex? How many Rolodex' worth of contacts can your cell hold?
Well this was 12 years ago
a pop-up business card? That's the tackiest thing I've ever seen.
Andrew Brookes only people who make real money will understand. How did you even find this video? Shouldnt you be watching some Top 20 Vines 2017??
Hey what do you do guaranteed?
Tacky? Wait till you see his next version that plays a trumpet fanfare like he's the Queen of England...
@Nautilee Wind shut da fuck up
I like how the music goes from none to excitement.
25 years to design a card, you can say this man is really efficient.
Once you get past the "bravado"... you realize that he's actually bang on.
Yeah, I met this guy once. He handed me his business card as he took a shit on my lawn. Best day of my life! The dude gets shit done.
I'm sure that even if there were business card enthusiasts, they wouldn't like his card. It was shit... Literally everybody is going to throw away a dickhole card like that, or keep it as a reminder never to call you, for making a business card that doesn't even fit in a fucking wallet, or anything else meant to hold business cards.
Granted, I like the idea of the Pop up, but I think that should be for the brochure, not the business card.
Gerald Bieniek no way dude, business cards are boring as fuck and most of the time I only keep them because I know the person can help me or because there's an interesting/funny picture on it. This card is hilarious AND has balls, it's a win-win!
Hmmm... A business card with balls... That would get my name out there.
Then gwt a second one with Mharti with his tongje out.
Gerald Bieniek Don't hand it out to children and you'll be safe, mate
+Colin Bell I asked him for one, it arrived today, it's nice
Life is not about being effective. Life is about being happy. 25 years is too long for designing a card. And cutting down on finishing options might be a good idea.
I disagree, as a MMORPG player.
Life is not about being happy
@@johnnyrambone What is it about for you, sir?..
I'll be honest, I bet that guy does bring crowds guaranteed. He's amazing to listen to lol
when he unfolds his own massive business card I nearly fell off my chair. HILARIOUS.
You know what I call a business card that doesn't fit in my wallet or Rolodex? A flyer. You know what I do with flyers? I throw them a way.
We are all agree that this is the best video of RUclips of all time.
2021 about to finish and still love his speech.
Looks like this could be an SNL skit
This video quality looks like crap, guess what? It is crap!
David Croft kmsl😂😂
You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus, white...
If you're paying $4 per card, you're getting taken for a ride and makes me call into question everything else you said. Also card looks like George Lucas designed it. THERE'S JUST SO MUCH STUFF IN EVERY SCENE!
Thanks for the chuckle. Great comment. I'm from the U.S., and *even when I was a kid* in the 80's when marketing to children went batshit crazy, I thought the whole hyper-optimistic, smile constantly, delusional Disney-euphoric, My-Life-is-Corporate-Marketing-and-fakeness outlook and attitude were creepy and unnatural, not to mention grating. And, I was only 8. Born with a gift for disillusionment!
He says that even if you hate him, no one would throw out his card... Well, I would. Just to prove him wrong.
that card is a damned coaster if I've placed my beer on one.
I never thought I'd say this, but all American Psycho energy aside, the man actually has a point about it being a good idea to practice summarizing your key skill.
"what do you do guaranteed?"
HIS business card is crap. If I can't fit your card in my wallet, your card is going in the garbage.
"It doesn't fit in a Rolodex because it doesn't belong in a Rolodex!"
You're right, it belongs in the trash. Get an iPhone.
What a dillhole
Is this a lost Tim and Erick sketch?
It's time for the Grumpity Bumpity.
This guy IS Patrick Bateman, dope card btw.
Patrick Bateman would literally kill this guy.
iF RiFF RAFF WAS FROM JERSEY AND HAD A MARKETING DEGREE
nice video ........Are you looking for......... Outstanding............. #Business card?.......... Logo?.........Professional,............unique,........ #business #card.... #design........................... Contact #Fiverr : goo.gl/sbSYuH?
Wow! Awesome message! Great advice. I have been developing iPhone/iPad apps for more than 2 years. My biggest challenge has not been the technical aspect but the marketing aspect. This video confirms that I have more to do with my marketing approach. Thanks and keep uploading to RUclips. It helps! KBCAppstore
*waits silently for the Game Grumps comments to flood in*
Sylvia Sylveon MYCARUBA
MARIO SUNSHINE EPISODE 33 OR SOMETHING!!!!!!
MasterMario22 It was 32. Dan was super close. ruclips.net/video/hZnEdAC9IHI/видео.html
Sylvia Sylveon DUDE
Pretty much how this story goes.
As silly as it may sound, he does have a point, chances are you won't forget getting a business card as such that one. His card does stand out...
great to download this wisdom again, needed a refresher
I love unintentionally funny videos.
Still, after 11 years, one of my most beloved comedic thing on this earth.
BooDan74 Joel Bauer isn’t a comedian. I’ve seen him talk about this clip - he put on a persona for this. When he speaks normally, it’s a lot less robust and more calm. But I took a course from him and learned a TON
@@AaronGeller Yes i know he isn't a comedian, but that clip is comedy gold nonetheless
BooDan74 I absolutely agree it’s funny
Seriously, who would want to go into business with this tool?
Um, who WOULDN'T! He's clearly the best man for the job. What is the job? Doesn't matter. He'll crush it. Marketing? Crushed. Advertising? Crushed. Babies? Crushed.
I would.
It doesn't matter if you don't like him. You won't throw out that business card
James Kristofik actually i would because when i get a business card i want to be able to refer to it if needed. Not have it get bent to shit as it sits uncomfortably in my back pocket literally being a pain in the ass. i mean i get what he is trying to say, but at the same time that only works for incredibly stupid people who associate bigger and flasher with better.
James Kristofik Ha, I would throw it out immediately. It wouldn't fit in my pocket, everything else is irrelevant. Anyone who thinks that a legitimate business person gives a shit what your card looks like should stay out of business. I hand people my card because they want a way to contact me and it's easy, not so that I can have an opportunity to be a pretentious fuck.
The best part is the music that cues as soon as he starts talking about his card.
I learn so much on the internet. BTW, I got here on autoplay after watching the 10th Gathering of the Juggalos infomercial.
This man is 150% right.
Megatron and some sun blinds were destroyed that day.
No matter what people may think about you, or say in their comments below. . .YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONE THING. . .very well. . .you have POSITIONED yourself in everyone's mind, especially those who receive your card. That is the name of the game. WELL DONE!
So much win in this video. This is one of the internet classics. Treasure it people, treasure it.
Look at that subtle off-white coloring... the tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god. It even has a watermark.
patrick bateman, is that you?
That's not a card, that's a pamphlet.
Saw this video forever ago and it's still amazing. XD
Always funny! Good video
best way to make a business card is to put pictures of puppies or cats depending on who you giving it to! works well on the internet!
i bet this guy is a great listener
I am not sure I have ever posted this on Google Plus. I love this guy. He also has some videos about how to pack for business trips.
joelbaueronline.com/
@@BrianaSkyeBauer Please tell me he's your pop or brother or something. =) You know this guy has brought smiles and laughs to so many people from so many walks of life. Cheers to you. Say hi to him.
The song that comes on when he pulls out his card makes it xD
Wayyyy riding the wave with the other Game Grump fans who came over here...
All i can say is, was he planning his business card for 25 years straight!
Because i've had die cut business cards, and that idea came to me almost instantly!!! My website, die cut.
My deets, orange foil, embossed...
And, also, $4 a card? Fuck off. What a twat.
Mine are about 40p each, and i feel like i'm being ripped off!!!
AHAHAAH WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
Its exceptional all right - and goes right into the circular repository I reserve for truly exceptional disruptive material called the 'waste basket'.
Business car is an important aspect for business introduction. I think that's a huge card but well designed. Just like it.
25 years to design that? Seems a tad wasteful. Any Photoshop jockey could do that in an hour.
I spent 25 years. Oh. HAHAHAHAHA
+Jason King-Snaza And I thought *my* last 25 years were wasted. At least I got some useful life skills out of them.
+zimriel like making a successful business card? I'm just laughing at how random as fuck this video is and how cocky this guy is about a piece of cardboard you put your business card on.
If anyone wants to know the song it’s Joan jett and the black hearts, Love is pain. Took me years to figure it out haha!
25 years?
he sure took the first part to heart didn't he
You would definitely hire this guy because obviously he puts his whole life/ego into his work.
Your name is First name unknown Last name unknown?
Oh my God, it even has a watermark
He currently has the worlds best Myspace page. Legend.
That thing has a damm pop up integrated. This is peak design.
This classic! What annoys me in the entertainment business is business cards without a photo. When I find a business card years later with a photo I remember who that is immediately. When it doesn't have a photo I've never a clue who it is and throw it away.
It took him 25 years to come up with that??? Was he the CEO of morons?
Not as edgy ad someone who put joker in pic
Look at that subtle off-black coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god it even has a fold out cheering crowd... I have to return some video tapes.
That's not a business card! That's a coaster! But all of those great features are a major hit with drunk people waiting for the waitress to bring them another beer.
His card would get thrown in the garbage because it's too big.
A lot of material for a stand up comedian here, GUARANTEED!!
His card doesn't fit in my wallet, that's the first reason I throw it in the trash.
American Pyscho anyone?
Oh my god, it even has a watermark
thoy joy sent me.
This is the kind of motivational speaker I need at a dinner with complimentary alcohol
Thank you Joel for sharing.
Aside from the fact that it took him 25 years to make (Which is hilarious by the way) you can't deny the guy has a point. If I got his business card and someone else's regular looking card 9 times outta 10 I'm gonna call him just cause he took that extra time to make that business card look amazing. If he takes the time on that, imagine what he might take the time for me. Thats the thought he provoked with his card.
I'd think the opposite. That guy has so few clients he relies on cheap tricks to impress gullible dumb people.
"What do you do guaranteed?"
"I sell propane and propane accessories."
That Advertisement tho👏
This reminds me of the business card scene in "American Psycho". Steve Wozniac has a very cool laser-cut stainless steel business card...and it will fit into your pocket.
This man inspires me to do better, thank you.
I hope to one day be atleast half the man he is.
Also, the game.
too distasteful... christian bale would not approve
Look at that subtle off white colouring, the tasteful di-cut design - oh my god, it even turns into a pop up book
He makes a very good point because 1st impression is everything in marketing and sales.
It's actually a pretty good looking business card imo
This guy is awesome! He entertains. He has a great story. And whatever else you may think about him, that business card is as good as he says it is.
Let me just add that this video got over 2 million views. He gets results just like he says he does!
I would make mine like those trading cards that change the picture depending on what angle you hold it at.
I was listening very intently until the point he opened it up - then i began wondering if this was a 'birthday card' - followed by a grin :)
I'm guaranteed to not be such an ass