@Tsarist Russia Actually im intersex, explain that one. And by the way sex and gender are different: gender is your pronouns, identity and presentation; sex is dependent on your internal and external genitalia, aswell as your secondary sex characteristics, also there are 6 biological sexes, "male and female" and 4 intersex variations. Sex and gender aren't binary or "hard wired", we are humans, we're evolved, meaning we can have gender identities because animals dont say "im a female", they don't have the evolved knowledge, we do.
You have no ideia how long I have been having this iner discussion with myself about my gender identity. I just couldn't decide if I was FTM or nonbinary, because I thought FTM meant you were 100% male and nonbinary meant you were in the middle. Knowing that I can be both is just so so liberating. Thank you so much.
Its so hard. I use they/he. I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to have masculine parts (down below), but i want to have more of a masculine identity. Rather than female i definitely don’t use she/her. But I feel comfortable being non binary but also having masculine features (hair,clothes etc), Thats why i use they/he. Its very hard and emotional but thank you for feeling more valid. Thank you so much.
okay. for the people who want a concrete explanation: look at the prefixes non binary : non means “not” agender : without gender transgender : “across” genders (which is basically just to say a person is a gender different from what they were assigned at birth) gender non-conforming : someone whose gender does not align with norms. that said, none of these things are mutually exclusive. and, @Ashton or others, correct me if i’m wrong, but i do believe gender nonconforming and gender non-binary are *not* synonymous and you can identify as one, both, or neither of those two terms.
this really helped me to understand myself a lot more, even though I have been identifying as nonbinary, I have been having some doubts lately whether i was nonbinary or just a trans man but now i understand i can be both! thank you so much
One time at a PFLAG meeting, I asked the trans and/or non-binary people present if they thought that the following metaphor that I had come up with was an accurate conceptualization of gender, because I wanted to make sure I was understanding it correctly. The metaphor was: male is blue, female is red, genders that did not include masculinity or femininity were yellow, a-gender was clear like plastic, and individuals' gender identities could be different combinations of those colors. Not only could a person be green (male and non-binary), or orange (female and non-binary), or brown (male, female, and non-binary), but (and this is a caveat that others at the meeting added) they could also be all different shades of those colors. Such as chartreuse (yellow-green) or reddish orange, or golden brown. Basically the others at the meeting seemed to think that my metaphor was apt. I was wondering if it resonated with you, and your thoughts on it, and how you might modify it?
This video really helped. I recently started identifying as nonbinary. I definitely feel more masculine but not fully male which is why the video helped. Thank you so much
also recognizing nonbinarism in itself helps validate people who 100% identify inside a binary! so, saying that you cant be a nonbinary boy, is saying that these NB boys/demiboys/genderfluid boys are the same as a binary boy, which they are not, and in lumping them together you erase the aspects of those identities that set them apart from eachother and give people better options to more comfortably identify themselves. which if you arent transphobic, is something you should be able to get behind and respect. thanks for speaking up about these things!
This video really helped me, i’ve had a struggle between whether I’m ftm or nonbinary. I would describe myself as a transmasc Nonbinary, 25% man, 75% nonbinary(best way i can explain it)! I think a big part of that struggle is that fact that i enjoy presenting more feminine sometimes and i use any pronouns!
Thank you. Thank you for talking so clearly about something that I really closely agree with and identify as. It's a tricky balance to strike sometimes and it helps seeing others in a similar boat :)
I really appreciate videos that discuss this topic. I recently discovered that, while the concept of being a woman (or at least a feminine individual) isn't necessarily uncomfortable for me, right this moment, thinking of myself as strictly a cisgender/binary female feels uncomfortable and mildly suffocating. I think the level of feminine/female I feel isn't always the same, though, so it's kinda hard right now to be certain if I really am nonbinary in some way or if I'm just deceiving myself. This might be part of why I'm typically kinda anxious to use the word "nonbinary" to describe myself. I probably am a feminine-aligned or female-aligned nonbinary person given my understanding of things, but genderqueer female and feminine-aligned genderqueer are terms that feel safer right now.
This nakes ne think deeper on how I feel about myself as well. I don't necessarily see myself as female but more Nonbinary and possibly male aligned though. I say Im a Transmasc Nonbinary because I want certain characteristics of a male but I don't necessarily see myself as a male though. I still wear my typical feminine clothing which doesn't bother me... I'd say I'm feminine in presentation but identify as Nonbinary who wants Characteristics of a male. I don't really know if anyone else feels this way about their Identity which is what Im trying to find out.
Fist, consider me a new sub. Second, thank you for explaining this stuff, I've been going through a lot of, discovery as of late, and well, this means a lot that there are people like you out there aiming to educate. I can understand how frustrating it might be for you at times Ashton. but I want to encourage you to keep things up, you're amazing, and have helped at least one person out there in the world, know that. Thanks for being awesome.
I literally don't understand people that feel the need to tell other people what they are (gender, sexuality, etc). Especially on the internet too, like if it bothers you that much click off the video. Plus the people that are saying this are by no means educated on these topics either. They google shit, hear other peoples opinions, take it as fact and think they are they are experts smh
THANK YOU! Really... just thank you for this video! Now I know that there are more people out there that feel like me. And now I know, that my suspicions of me being a combination of trans and nonbinary is entirely possible. I am a 38 year old person, assigned female gender at birth, but could never fully identify as such. Like you I feel „inbetween“ - a bit more on the male side, but not 100%... more like 60/40 or something. I do like makeup, dresses, high heels and such, but I also don‘t identify with my „female“ body and it’s curves (that unfortunately are quite big). Although I tried to live my life as the gender that I was assigned at birth, it always felt wrong somehow. Every relationship failed, because I wasn‘t entirely myself... I always felt like I don‘t belong. But I wanted nothing more than a „normal“ life... which went as far as me marrying a cis man. Guess how that ended... The birth control hormones I took for 20 years dulled that feeling a bit, but it never went away. I always felt „wrong“. Now 2 years after my divorce - and me getting off birth control - I feel it as strongly as back when I was 16. And to top it all off... I‘m also pansexual... I’ve always known that... So... the full package. LOL Watching this video has helped me a lot! Now I know what has to come next. So thank you again, because now I know, that I‘m not just going crazy!
I know you probably won't read this as it is a very old video but whatever. I wanted to thank you, this has really helped me understand myself, maybe even choose a label for myself. I came across it by chance and now it has changed me more than I thought it would... so... thank you.
This is so me! This explains how I feel about my gender so much better than I could ever could myself 😁 I also call myself a nonbinary guy (though I am still exploring what that exactly means to me) I'm also gender nonconforming and wear dresses and stuff, so this video helps me out
Thank you for making this video! I was dealing with that, fighting in my own head bc i identify as both too and it never made sense on my mind but its what i feel. For me im like 80% male and 20% agender
I’ve been living as male for over a year now and recently I’ve been questioning things again. I’m rlly scared that I’m not ftm and that I’m just a confused lesbian or something. For ages I never questioned that I wasn’t ftm. I was like “I’m male and ye” now I’m like I honestly don’t know. This kind of helped a bit since I might be enby. I thought I was non binary when I was first discovering my gender but then I realized that I wasn’t. Also plz tell me I’m not alone here
This makes me really happy... I feel like lately I've been seeing a lot of he/they transmasc, nonbinary transboys, ect. which I wish I knew about sooner. I realized that I felt most comfortable identifying as transmasc on my own not too long after feeling really uncomfortable about both the binary transman and nonbinary labels and wanting something...somewhere in-between lol, but seeing other people share a similar identity just makes me feel more re-affirmed like...I know it shouldn't and doesn't matter, but it still feels more "right" to not be alone. Anyways sorry you have to deal with -_- people, but you keep doing you! Really glad I found this channel.
I am also a non-binary guy and related to a lot of the things Ashton said in this video 🤗 he’s inspired me a lot in discovering myself and I really appreciate this video among all of his others. He’s incredibly respectful and well spoken.
OMG I needed this video right now, I’ve struggled with my gender identity since I was young but only recently came out to my mum and dad (like in the past few months) but everyday is getting harder and more frustrating. I was assigned female at birth but have extremely strong feelings that I’m not. I’m not 100% male either, I would say I’m 90-95% male and 5-10% non-binary/female? (this is what is confusing me the most) . I’m struggling to figure out to what extent I would transition if I were to do so, but this is because while the majority of me wants to transition the little part of me that isn’t male is there telling me that I shouldn’t and there’s a small but annoying nagging voice in the back of my head asking “would you regret it?”, “are you sure?”. One day I can tell that voice no I wouldn’t regret it and yes I’m sure but the voice then makes me doubt myself and the next day I’m in tears because I’m so confused. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense but I had to get it off my chest.
Thank you so much for this. I was the kid who dmd you on Instagram and asked if it was normal to feel kinda unattached to your preferred name. I don't know if this seems weird to you, but honestly, thank you so much for everything. I'm struggling alot, but when I see you upload, it reminds me that I'm not alone. I hope you have a good day because you deserve it xx - Jake, 13
I've recently started questioning my gender identity... Again. I'm a transman and I've been on T for nearly 8 years. I he/him pronouns and identify as male out of convenience for those around me but honestly, I've never felt 100% male. Like I've always felt more comfortable calling myself a transman instead of just a man because the term transman feels like it's somewhere in between rather than strictly binary. When I learned of the term demiboy and looked into it, the label felt like it fit me perfectly. Haven't come out to my family and honestly at this point in my life, I don't think it's nessisary. They call me male and use my preferred name. That's all that matters. Though I think I should at least talk about this with my husband. Just trying to gather the strength.
Thank you for the video! I was one of those people that conflated being non-binary with being agender (despite knowing that's a thing? Good job brain), so your examples and explanation were very clear and helpful. Thanks again!
Thank you so much for this video! I always felt this way but I never knew how to explain it to people, also I kinda thought not being valid. The video helped me figure this out for me, so thank you 💖
this is exactly me and you’ve worded it. Thank you 😭 I’ve moved to Japan and EVERYTHING has to be divided and determined by gender when it doesn’t even have to be. Nothing has to be Ur video helped with this suffocation thank you so much 💙💙💙
i know this is an older video, but seeing this video made me smile quite a bit seeing this as i'm also a nonbinary trans man and, although i don't feel exactly the same way, it's still heartwarming and exciting to see someone who shares those labels and finds comfort in them the way that i do ❤
This was great! My child is going through this right now and I was having a hard time understanding what they meant but this really explained it. I understand a lot better after watching this. Me understanding better will help with their transitions moving forward. I am completely supportive but I wanted a better understanding of it all in order to help them more and this really helped thank you. 💜🙆♀️
Out of respect, how do you “feel” a gender ? Doesn’t the “feeling” of being trans come from dysphoria, and if it does, then does that mean you feel non-binary dysphoria as well as ftm dysphoria ?
even if that was true (and it absolutely isn’t lmao) it doesn’t have anything to do with what we were talking about??? a trans person doesn’t identify as their gender because they have dysphoria. they do because it’s their gender afgsfjdhshsjafsgsgshdhjddj
Good question, everyone (including trans and cis people) feel they are their gender because that is how they see themselves/what they relate to (this is what gender identity is). Gender dysphoria comes from this Identity not matching with physical traits/how people treat you because of these traits.
You actually don't need dysphoria to be trans, though it is very common for trans people to experience dysphoria of some kind. Nonbinary trans people dont necessarily always experience dysphoria, it actually depends on how they feel their body matches their gender. Does that make sense?
I also wanted to add (for me, at least) that gender is very much like a spiritual experience. As someone dear to me put best, "when you were born, the spirit inside of you was one of a boy". Perhaps to some people this will sound bizarre, since "gender" is something you can't actually see. You can see the genitals. You can see the person. The skin, the eyes, perhaps the clothes (if they're decent). But imagine someone naked. They say they are a man but they are a woman. They have the sexual characteristics. How is this a man? That is surface level. Gender is something invisible if you subtract the expression. It's a part of the fire, the spirit, the who. The words within the book. The personality, the pulse, the being.
This makes me feel a lot better of my own identity. Like in March I figured out I was non binary, but after being with my partner and allowed to express myself I learn more masculine. I do feel more like a man than anything but there is zone I'm still discovering within myself. My outward appearance I prefer to look more masculine and working on finding a safe way to come out to my family to get my chest removed. Then I also have my child who calls me mom and I would never go by dad and even though as a whole I hate female pronouns that is one feminine title I will always keep which leans into the non binary. I prefer he/they pronouns. I am very glad I came across this video, thank you very much!
For me, demiboy is probably the best term for me. Its a nonbinary term that is kind of like someone, no matter if intersex, AFAB, or AMAB, etc., identifies as a boy but not fully, or kind of like nonbinary boy. For me, I lean towards more nonbinary and feel more comfortable with they/them. But being perceived as male and being called like son, sir, he/him, etc, makes me feel just as euphoric.
I really love this! I can relate so much to this,I’m also a non-binary trans boy I just tell most my friends I’m ftm though because I feel they wouldn’t understand..I just say to people I’m out to to call me Jayden or Tyler (my friend came up with Tyler) and use he/him but I also they/them. I only told my best friend only I’m non-binary trans.
I know you probably won’t see this, but I just wanted to say that this video was exactly what I was looking for to answer some of my questions. Although I feel confidant in being a cis female, I fully support lgbtq and everything in that area and I know the basics of how it all works but I never quite understood how pronouns like he/they or she/they worked or like how you could feel non binary AND a gender but today I found out (from other videos too) that non binary doesn’t mean no gender and then you filled in all the gaps with your video. Glad I’m able to explain it to someone else now like my family as they’ll sometimes have questions and I know the most about this kind of thing in my family. Anyways, thank you for your video I found it very informational. :)
Thank you for sharing! It's good to be open about it and it's a term within the non- binary umbrella , and diversity beneath the umbrella is even bigger. When I was 18, back in 1980, I knew I was non - binary boy/ boygender, I had to wait over 40 years before I heard the term and found out I wasn't alone in this. I wish you all the best.
I love this video so much, thank you for making it! I'm still a ways away from being comfortable with coming out, but when I do I think I'm going to send this video to my family. You do such a good job explaining gender identity and what it's like being transmasc and nonbinary at the same time. I think this'll really help others understand how I feel once I finally come out to them.
For me my dysphoria aligns with that of a male, I’m having phallo, top and T, my pronouns are he/him but my gender doesn’t exist tbh I’m totally agender but I like being seen as male
Gender doesn’t exist it’s fabricated right? But my dysphoria is like a male and my brain is like the male sex and I should have been male but my GENDER doesn’t exiat
hall0w33nb0y That makes no sense because if you’re having male dysphoria, and you were male at birth, that’s really unhealthy. It’s because you are saying you’re agender, that you have male dysphoria. Please recognize this because that’s really unhealthy. Edit: just realized you were ftm, please wait until you’re an adult before getting top, T, etc. it’s irreversible, and I’m saying this as a cautionary note. Being transgender is EXTREMELY rare, and there are a lot of people, usually female at birth people, who want to stand out in this time, and with transgender being more accepted, but still oppressed in some areas, that’s a way for the female brain to get attention from others. Some people take T as a 14 year old, then regret it later because they then get female dysphoria, because that’s their original brain. I’m just telling you to wait before doing any modifications.
also!. i know some people don’t use labels and that’s totally fine, but for those of us who do use labels, labels can be a valuable tool to help us find community, talk about ourselves, and seek out resources/education.
Omg i was so scared. I also feel like boy but not entirely as a boy and i was so scared cause i thought i was the only one. I was so confused and i didn't understand who i am but i think I'm starting to understand myself thanks to you now. THANK YOU.
Not sure why people find this so difficult to understand! You transitioned into a Male vessel to align your brain with your body, though your identity is more non binary. Also gotta say I love your hair atm!
Your Gender Journey Is amazing. It has clarified a few things for me and I feel very validated. Also, Now I have a video to show friends and family who don't understand so for that I thankyou.
Hey Ashton! I got a haircut the other day and I took inspiration from how your haircut used to have (the like square that's half shaved) and it's so cool! Honestly thanks for inspiring me!
I keep going back and forth between transmasculine non binary and trans man. I'm currently being assessed for HRT so I'm waiting until my body has grown used to testosterone before I even try to settle on one label but seeing as I'm already older (31) and have done some deep introspection I don't think my sense of identity will change too much. A part of me will always refuse to be squeezed into one tight, binary box, just like my personality. All I know for certain is that I am not my gender assigned at birth and that is enough reason for me to transition.
Thank you. Your explanation of comparing the binaries to straight and gay was what I needed to go from 90% sure I'm nonbinary to 100%. I love and appreciate you so hard right now.
I think both of the first two comments you mention are coming from the same place, and it's a good example of how phrasing can really affect whether a question is respectful or not.
This was a fantastic video, and you have such a soothing voice. Where you ever scared to call your self part boy? Because outside of my nonbinary identity that I'm very sure of there is a part of me that I think definitely feels boy but saying the words out loud feels very vulnerable. I'm out as nonbinary to everyone currently. I always present male in terms of my clothing etc but I think it runs deeper then that.
I have been bouncing back and forth for about a year now whether or not I'm non binary or a dude. I don't feel 100% either. I just know that I want to microdose T, bind, and I use they/them pronouns. What you explained feels like me too. I'm still figuring it out. I just know that I'm not cis. Thank you for helping me figure it out. 🥰
thank you for this video! it's really disheartening to see so many people invalidate ur identity. i can relate to this, excpet im afab and feel mostly nonbinary and then somewhat the binary genders.
Thank you for this video - I’m planning to show it to my extended family this week due to them asking questions - and to my immediate family to ~hopefully~ 🤞🤞 get them to support me instead of deadnaming and misgendering me!
This helped me so much, I've been confused between being a trans man or non binary for ages, You've made me realise I identify as a boy, but not entirely (trans masc) and I'm non binary, Thank you Ashton!
This was so helpful. I'm dating a non-binary trans man after dating exclusively cis-het men. So this is new, and seeing people knowing themselves so thoroughly like this is amazing!
Okay so I'm still confused lol you say "I identify as a boy, but not entirely" so that would make a you a male ALIGNED or masculine non binary person. In terms of definitions you cannot be non binary and a man at the same time. The two binary genders are man and woman. If you don't fully identify as either one of those, you aren't binary, BY DEFINITION. Again, I understand what you're saying in terms of identifying as close to male, but not fully male. It just sounds silly to call yourself a "non binary man" when the terms are contradictory.
what I’m saying is that the terms aren’t contradictory. As I explained in the video, I identify with being a male/man/boy, there are just other parts of my identity as well.
Ashton Daniel I'm not trying to police your identity lol. Identify as whatever you want, it's obvious you have dysphoria so I don't care. I'm just saying that the words are contradictory 🤷🏻♂️
I always knew I was kinda man. but also a girl (I dont call myself a bigender). I'm more connected to a boyish, I'm more comfortable for being call a boy and be treated as one. i *hate* to be seen as a woman. I want to transition (cuz dysphoria....) and still being comfortable being myself bcz I just know I'm not 100% a man.
Ppl seem to think nonbinary = no gender but that’s not the case and isn’t even a small portion of the identities that the nonbinary umbrella encompasses.Nonbinary in and of itself is/can be a label/identity of its own but it’s also an umbrella term that just means not strictly a man/women,male/female...but I can understand where some ppl get confused especially when thinking in a binary way.Loved the video Ashton ! Thank you for making this.I also love your choker !! 💓
I wish I could figure out if I'm a binary transguy or not 😅 it's a little stressful because it's almost like I'm 99% male but this one percent confuses me and makes me unsure especially since I know so much about the female experience and empathize more than sympathize with my fellow girl humans and idk it's like I'm not at all a girl but I still know what it's like to be one and it's important for me to awknowledge that... If that makes sense?
When you said this I was like ":0 this is so amazing it's how I feel" I identify as nonbinary but also trans male with He/They I always wondered if it was weird so wow thank you I feel like this Girl---------------NB----------*-----Boy * = me
This is a friggin great explanation video. I'm a non-binary trans masc person and I'm gonna show this to my dad to try and help him better understand gender and my own identity. Also nice chocker, the charms were distracting as heck though xD.
Thank you for your video! More people should talk about this. As enby woman, who is also genderfluid, it baffles me when people say "how can you be one of the binaries, while being non binary? " like, genderfluid people by definition can have male, female or any other gender at any point in their life. Should they then stop identifying as enby the moment their gender gets binary? And that is not to say that its only possible for genderfluid people btw. If you are not genderfluid youre still valid since there is literally infinite ways for you gender to be structured. And being nonbinary man is one of them. Also i recognize the feling of feeling 25% agender or outside of binary, thats mood 🙂👍
![Hunxho - Ball Forever [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nki9ZTF9Uls/mqdefault.jpg)
When you said you're 75% male amd 25% nonbinary, I had this moment of "oh my god, this is me."
demiboys :3
same
same
demiboy gang
@Franco Cavalli we dont give an f
omgthatis me
This made me feel way better about my identity as a transmasculine nonbinary person who uses he/him
Same [but different]
@Tsarist Russia Actually im intersex, explain that one. And by the way sex and gender are different: gender is your pronouns, identity and presentation; sex is dependent on your internal and external genitalia, aswell as your secondary sex characteristics, also there are 6 biological sexes, "male and female" and 4 intersex variations. Sex and gender aren't binary or "hard wired", we are humans, we're evolved, meaning we can have gender identities because animals dont say "im a female", they don't have the evolved knowledge, we do.
You have no ideia how long I have been having this iner discussion with myself about my gender identity. I just couldn't decide if I was FTM or nonbinary, because I thought FTM meant you were 100% male and nonbinary meant you were in the middle. Knowing that I can be both is just so so liberating. Thank you so much.
*video plays*
Me:*stares at the lighting bolts on your choker and watch them move😂*
I THOUGHT THEY WERE WORMS ON STRINGS.... IM IN TOO DEEP IN THIS DAMN COMMUNITY
as a closeted trans masc person ur vids help me sm?? idk man they make me feel valid also they’re v educational and entertaining,, ty for existing
omg this makes me feel so valid and i'm happy I'm not the only one
SAME HERE
SAME I thought I was misunderstanding gender
SAME!
Its so hard.
I use they/he.
I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to have masculine parts (down below), but i want to have more of a masculine identity. Rather than female i definitely don’t use she/her. But I feel comfortable being non binary but also having masculine features (hair,clothes etc), Thats why i use they/he. Its very hard and emotional but thank you for feeling more valid. Thank you so much.
I'm sorry to bump a comment from a year ago, but this is exactly like me, only I am currently using they/them but I kinda wanna try they/he
@@haimiscen2507 Saaame😓😓
Ah seeing this comment 😭😭 I’m now at she her straight
I LOVE people explaining the intricacies of their gender. I find it so interesting how diverse and nuanced peoples genders can be. Thanks Ashton!
i love videos like that too !! thank you :)
okay. for the people who want a concrete explanation:
look at the prefixes
non binary : non means “not”
agender : without gender
transgender : “across” genders (which is basically just to say a person is a gender different from what they were assigned at birth)
gender non-conforming : someone whose gender does not align with norms.
that said, none of these things are mutually exclusive. and, @Ashton or others, correct me if i’m wrong, but i do believe gender nonconforming and gender non-binary are *not* synonymous and you can identify as one, both, or neither of those two terms.
Exactly
ALSO you can't be a non binary boy wtf
Demi-boy exists you dumbass.
@@Ainator_ and just like that all the non binary people who feel connected to masculinity started to fade away
@chiyeoul Who are you talking to? lol
@chiyeoul Your point? 👀
this really helped me to understand myself a lot more, even though I have been identifying as nonbinary, I have been having some doubts lately whether i was nonbinary or just a trans man but now i understand i can be both! thank you so much
One time at a PFLAG meeting, I asked the trans and/or non-binary people present if they thought that the following metaphor that I had come up with was an accurate conceptualization of gender, because I wanted to make sure I was understanding it correctly. The metaphor was: male is blue, female is red, genders that did not include masculinity or femininity were yellow, a-gender was clear like plastic, and individuals' gender identities could be different combinations of those colors. Not only could a person be green (male and non-binary), or orange (female and non-binary), or brown (male, female, and non-binary), but (and this is a caveat that others at the meeting added) they could also be all different shades of those colors. Such as chartreuse (yellow-green) or reddish orange, or golden brown.
Basically the others at the meeting seemed to think that my metaphor was apt. I was wondering if it resonated with you, and your thoughts on it, and how you might modify it?
This video really helped. I recently started identifying as nonbinary. I definitely feel more masculine but not fully male which is why the video helped. Thank you so much
also recognizing nonbinarism in itself helps validate people who 100% identify inside a binary!
so, saying that you cant be a nonbinary boy, is saying that these NB boys/demiboys/genderfluid boys are the same as a binary boy, which they are not, and in lumping them together you erase the aspects of those identities that set them apart from eachother and give people better options to more comfortably identify themselves. which if you arent transphobic, is something you should be able to get behind and respect. thanks for speaking up about these things!
This video really helped me, i’ve had a struggle between whether I’m ftm or nonbinary. I would describe myself as a transmasc Nonbinary, 25% man, 75% nonbinary(best way i can explain it)! I think a big part of that struggle is that fact that i enjoy presenting more feminine sometimes and i use any pronouns!
Hey! I'm trans masc too and I LOVED your replies to those comments, you've made me feel validated and really proud of myself, thank you so much! ❤️
Fellow non-binary trans guy here! I love you and love this video❤️ Can't wait for the video on the science of enby identities 👐
Sooo..... I took inspiration from you and.... about buzzed half my hair off... yesterday...
aaa that's so exciting!! im happy for you !
@@graveyardpansy *late happy stims*
Thank you. Thank you for talking so clearly about something that I really closely agree with and identify as. It's a tricky balance to strike sometimes and it helps seeing others in a similar boat :)
your stuff has really helped me feel more confident calling myself a non-binary girl
I really like your hair right now
I really appreciate videos that discuss this topic. I recently discovered that, while the concept of being a woman (or at least a feminine individual) isn't necessarily uncomfortable for me, right this moment, thinking of myself as strictly a cisgender/binary female feels uncomfortable and mildly suffocating. I think the level of feminine/female I feel isn't always the same, though, so it's kinda hard right now to be certain if I really am nonbinary in some way or if I'm just deceiving myself. This might be part of why I'm typically kinda anxious to use the word "nonbinary" to describe myself. I probably am a feminine-aligned or female-aligned nonbinary person given my understanding of things, but genderqueer female and feminine-aligned genderqueer are terms that feel safer right now.
This nakes ne think deeper on how I feel about myself as well. I don't necessarily see myself as female but more Nonbinary and possibly male aligned though. I say Im a Transmasc Nonbinary because I want certain characteristics of a male but I don't necessarily see myself as a male though. I still wear my typical feminine clothing which doesn't bother me... I'd say I'm feminine in presentation but identify as Nonbinary who wants Characteristics of a male.
I don't really know if anyone else feels this way about their Identity which is what Im trying to find out.
Me, too!!!!! I'm also a non-binary transguy. :)
I’m the same way,, closeted, but it feels so nice to see I’m not alone. Thank you for making this video
Fist, consider me a new sub. Second, thank you for explaining this stuff, I've been going through a lot of, discovery as of late, and well, this means a lot that there are people like you out there aiming to educate. I can understand how frustrating it might be for you at times Ashton. but I want to encourage you to keep things up, you're amazing, and have helped at least one person out there in the world, know that.
Thanks for being awesome.
I literally don't understand people that feel the need to tell other people what they are (gender, sexuality, etc). Especially on the internet too, like if it bothers you that much click off the video. Plus the people that are saying this are by no means educated on these topics either. They google shit, hear other peoples opinions, take it as fact and think they are they are experts smh
THANK YOU!
Really... just thank you for this video!
Now I know that there are more people out there that feel like me.
And now I know, that my suspicions of me being a combination of trans and nonbinary is entirely possible.
I am a 38 year old person, assigned female gender at birth, but could never fully identify as such. Like you I feel „inbetween“ - a bit more on the male side, but not 100%... more like 60/40 or something.
I do like makeup, dresses, high heels and such, but I also don‘t identify with my „female“ body and it’s curves (that unfortunately are quite big).
Although I tried to live my life as the gender that I was assigned at birth, it always felt wrong somehow.
Every relationship failed, because I wasn‘t entirely myself...
I always felt like I don‘t belong.
But I wanted nothing more than a „normal“ life... which went as far as me marrying a cis man.
Guess how that ended...
The birth control hormones I took for 20 years dulled that feeling a bit, but it never went away.
I always felt „wrong“.
Now 2 years after my divorce - and me getting off birth control - I feel it as strongly as back when I was 16.
And to top it all off... I‘m also pansexual... I’ve always known that...
So... the full package. LOL
Watching this video has helped me a lot!
Now I know what has to come next.
So thank you again, because now I know, that I‘m not just going crazy!
I know you probably won't read this as it is a very old video but whatever. I wanted to thank you, this has really helped me understand myself, maybe even choose a label for myself. I came across it by chance and now it has changed me more than I thought it would... so... thank you.
This is so me! This explains how I feel about my gender so much better than I could ever could myself 😁
I also call myself a nonbinary guy (though I am still exploring what that exactly means to me)
I'm also gender nonconforming and wear dresses and stuff, so this video helps me out
Thank you for making this video! I was dealing with that, fighting in my own head bc i identify as both too and it never made sense on my mind but its what i feel. For me im like 80% male and 20% agender
I’ve been living as male for over a year now and recently I’ve been questioning things again. I’m rlly scared that I’m not ftm and that I’m just a confused lesbian or something. For ages I never questioned that I wasn’t ftm. I was like “I’m male and ye” now I’m like I honestly don’t know. This kind of helped a bit since I might be enby. I thought I was non binary when I was first discovering my gender but then I realized that I wasn’t.
Also plz tell me I’m not alone here
You are not alone. There could be several things at work, so maybe it's best to speak with gender councillor or Psychiatrist?
This makes me really happy... I feel like lately I've been seeing a lot of he/they transmasc, nonbinary transboys, ect. which I wish I knew about sooner. I realized that I felt most comfortable identifying as transmasc on my own not too long after feeling really uncomfortable about both the binary transman and nonbinary labels and wanting something...somewhere in-between lol, but seeing other people share a similar identity just makes me feel more re-affirmed like...I know it shouldn't and doesn't matter, but it still feels more "right" to not be alone. Anyways sorry you have to deal with -_- people, but you keep doing you! Really glad I found this channel.
I am also a non-binary guy and related to a lot of the things Ashton said in this video 🤗 he’s inspired me a lot in discovering myself and I really appreciate this video among all of his others. He’s incredibly respectful and well spoken.
OMG I needed this video right now, I’ve struggled with my gender identity since I was young but only recently came out to my mum and dad (like in the past few months) but everyday is getting harder and more frustrating. I was assigned female at birth but have extremely strong feelings that I’m not. I’m not 100% male either, I would say I’m 90-95% male and 5-10% non-binary/female? (this is what is confusing me the most) . I’m struggling to figure out to what extent I would transition if I were to do so, but this is because while the majority of me wants to transition the little part of me that isn’t male is there telling me that I shouldn’t and there’s a small but annoying nagging voice in the back of my head asking “would you regret it?”, “are you sure?”. One day I can tell that voice no I wouldn’t regret it and yes I’m sure but the voice then makes me doubt myself and the next day I’m in tears because I’m so confused.
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense but I had to get it off my chest.
Thank you so much for this. I was the kid who dmd you on Instagram and asked if it was normal to feel kinda unattached to your preferred name. I don't know if this seems weird to you, but honestly, thank you so much for everything. I'm struggling alot, but when I see you upload, it reminds me that I'm not alone. I hope you have a good day because you deserve it xx - Jake, 13
I've recently started questioning my gender identity... Again.
I'm a transman and I've been on T for nearly 8 years. I he/him pronouns and identify as male out of convenience for those around me but honestly, I've never felt 100% male. Like I've always felt more comfortable calling myself a transman instead of just a man because the term transman feels like it's somewhere in between rather than strictly binary.
When I learned of the term demiboy and looked into it, the label felt like it fit me perfectly.
Haven't come out to my family and honestly at this point in my life, I don't think it's nessisary. They call me male and use my preferred name. That's all that matters.
Though I think I should at least talk about this with my husband. Just trying to gather the strength.
Thank you for the video! I was one of those people that conflated being non-binary with being agender (despite knowing that's a thing? Good job brain), so your examples and explanation were very clear and helpful. Thanks again!
You just put into words how I've been feeling, I've been so confused about this. Thank you :)
Thank you so much for this video! I always felt this way but I never knew how to explain it to people, also I kinda thought not being valid. The video helped me figure this out for me, so thank you 💖
this is exactly me and you’ve worded it. Thank you 😭
I’ve moved to Japan and EVERYTHING has to be divided and determined by gender when it doesn’t even have to be. Nothing has to be
Ur video helped with this suffocation thank you so much 💙💙💙
This is EXACTLY the reverse of my own situation as AMAB. Thank you!
i know this is an older video, but seeing this video made me smile quite a bit seeing this as i'm also a nonbinary trans man and, although i don't feel exactly the same way, it's still heartwarming and exciting to see someone who shares those labels and finds comfort in them the way that i do ❤
This was great! My child is going through this right now and I was having a hard time understanding what they meant but this really explained it. I understand a lot better after watching this. Me understanding better will help with their transitions moving forward. I am completely supportive but I wanted a better understanding of it all in order to help them more and this really helped thank you. 💜🙆♀️
What a wonderful parent! Sending love to you both💕
Out of respect, how do you “feel” a gender ? Doesn’t the “feeling” of being trans come from dysphoria, and if it does, then does that mean you feel non-binary dysphoria as well as ftm dysphoria ?
Bar Levy “feeling” a gender just means you identify with it or see yourself as it. doesn’t really have anything to do with dysphoria.
even if that was true (and it absolutely isn’t lmao) it doesn’t have anything to do with what we were talking about??? a trans person doesn’t identify as their gender because they have dysphoria. they do because it’s their gender afgsfjdhshsjafsgsgshdhjddj
Good question, everyone (including trans and cis people) feel they are their gender because that is how they see themselves/what they relate to (this is what gender identity is). Gender dysphoria comes from this Identity not matching with physical traits/how people treat you because of these traits.
You actually don't need dysphoria to be trans, though it is very common for trans people to experience dysphoria of some kind. Nonbinary trans people dont necessarily always experience dysphoria, it actually depends on how they feel their body matches their gender.
Does that make sense?
I also wanted to add (for me, at least) that gender is very much like a spiritual experience. As someone dear to me put best, "when you were born, the spirit inside of you was one of a boy". Perhaps to some people this will sound bizarre, since "gender" is something you can't actually see. You can see the genitals. You can see the person. The skin, the eyes, perhaps the clothes (if they're decent). But imagine someone naked. They say they are a man but they are a woman. They have the sexual characteristics. How is this a man? That is surface level. Gender is something invisible if you subtract the expression. It's a part of the fire, the spirit, the who. The words within the book. The personality, the pulse, the being.
This makes me feel a lot better of my own identity. Like in March I figured out I was non binary, but after being with my partner and allowed to express myself I learn more masculine. I do feel more like a man than anything but there is zone I'm still discovering within myself. My outward appearance I prefer to look more masculine and working on finding a safe way to come out to my family to get my chest removed. Then I also have my child who calls me mom and I would never go by dad and even though as a whole I hate female pronouns that is one feminine title I will always keep which leans into the non binary. I prefer he/they pronouns.
I am very glad I came across this video, thank you very much!
Your hair is looking rad!!
This made me feel incredibly validated. Thank you. Thank you so much.
For me, demiboy is probably the best term for me. Its a nonbinary term that is kind of like someone, no matter if intersex, AFAB, or AMAB, etc., identifies as a boy but not fully, or kind of like nonbinary boy.
For me, I lean towards more nonbinary and feel more comfortable with they/them. But being perceived as male and being called like son, sir, he/him, etc, makes me feel just as euphoric.
I really love this! I can relate so much to this,I’m also a non-binary trans boy I just tell most my friends I’m ftm though because I feel they wouldn’t understand..I just say to people I’m out to to call me Jayden or Tyler (my friend came up with Tyler) and use he/him but I also they/them. I only told my best friend only I’m non-binary trans.
I know you probably won’t see this, but I just wanted to say that this video was exactly what I was looking for to answer some of my questions. Although I feel confidant in being a cis female, I fully support lgbtq and everything in that area and I know the basics of how it all works but I never quite understood how pronouns like he/they or she/they worked or like how you could feel non binary AND a gender but today I found out (from other videos too) that non binary doesn’t mean no gender and then you filled in all the gaps with your video. Glad I’m able to explain it to someone else now like my family as they’ll sometimes have questions and I know the most about this kind of thing in my family. Anyways, thank you for your video I found it very informational. :)
it makes me so happy seeing someone feel the same way as i feel in my gender thank you for sharing this
Thank you for sharing! It's good to be open about it and it's a term within the non- binary umbrella , and diversity beneath the umbrella is even bigger. When I was 18, back in 1980, I knew I was non - binary boy/ boygender, I had to wait over 40 years before I heard the term and found out I wasn't alone in this. I wish you all the best.
I love this video so much, thank you for making it! I'm still a ways away from being comfortable with coming out, but when I do I think I'm going to send this video to my family. You do such a good job explaining gender identity and what it's like being transmasc and nonbinary at the same time. I think this'll really help others understand how I feel once I finally come out to them.
For me my dysphoria aligns with that of a male, I’m having phallo, top and T, my pronouns are he/him but my gender doesn’t exist tbh I’m totally agender but I like being seen as male
That doesn’t make sense- okay
Son it does to me :))) why does it affect you?
Gender doesn’t exist it’s fabricated right? But my dysphoria is like a male and my brain is like the male sex and I should have been male but my GENDER doesn’t exiat
hall0w33nb0y That makes no sense because if you’re having male dysphoria, and you were male at birth, that’s really unhealthy. It’s because you are saying you’re agender, that you have male dysphoria. Please recognize this because that’s really unhealthy.
Edit: just realized you were ftm, please wait until you’re an adult before getting top, T, etc. it’s irreversible, and I’m saying this as a cautionary note. Being transgender is EXTREMELY rare, and there are a lot of people, usually female at birth people, who want to stand out in this time, and with transgender being more accepted, but still oppressed in some areas, that’s a way for the female brain to get attention from others. Some people take T as a 14 year old, then regret it later because they then get female dysphoria, because that’s their original brain. I’m just telling you to wait before doing any modifications.
Son whatt I’m afab?? My sex should have been male, but I reject gender as a whole?? my body should have been like a male but my gender is agender.
I understand, because I am too.
My heads been all over the place in terms of gender lately but I really identified with this video
Same
saaaamee
Please grow out of this phase
@@lisalisa760 piss off
also!. i know some people don’t use labels and that’s totally fine, but for those of us who do use labels, labels can be a valuable tool to help us find community, talk about ourselves, and seek out resources/education.
I’m a transmasc non-binary person as well :D
Omg i was so scared. I also feel like boy but not entirely as a boy and i was so scared cause i thought i was the only one. I was so confused and i didn't understand who i am but i think I'm starting to understand myself thanks to you now. THANK YOU.
I'm the exact same way
Both Trans Masculine but also Genderless
Yup.
your hair looks sick dude i wish i could pull off a buzz cut
anyone can pull it off!! go for it!!
This is the first video I’ve watched of your channel and I soon as I put it on my anxiety went away and I felt more sure about my self
im sending this to my mom cause i dont want to try to explain This to her
Not sure why people find this so difficult to understand! You transitioned into a Male vessel to align your brain with your body, though your identity is more non binary. Also gotta say I love your hair atm!
exclusive boi I’m the same identity !
Your Gender Journey Is amazing. It has clarified a few things for me and I feel very validated. Also, Now I have a video to show friends and family who don't understand so for that I thankyou.
Hey Ashton! I got a haircut the other day and I took inspiration from how your haircut used to have (the like square that's half shaved) and it's so cool! Honestly thanks for inspiring me!
Crystalized Peaches i had that hair for a while (i also took inspiration from Ashton), it was fun!
I keep going back and forth between transmasculine non binary and trans man. I'm currently being assessed for HRT so I'm waiting until my body has grown used to testosterone before I even try to settle on one label but seeing as I'm already older (31) and have done some deep introspection I don't think my sense of identity will change too much. A part of me will always refuse to be squeezed into one tight, binary box, just like my personality. All I know for certain is that I am not my gender assigned at birth and that is enough reason for me to transition.
I feel this description. I always tell people I am non-binary leaning toward masculine and barely feminine.
Thank you. Your explanation of comparing the binaries to straight and gay was what I needed to go from 90% sure I'm nonbinary to 100%. I love and appreciate you so hard right now.
I think both of the first two comments you mention are coming from the same place, and it's a good example of how phrasing can really affect whether a question is respectful or not.
I’m nonbinary and dress feminine af. Nonbinary people are very aware that gender (identity) and gender express are different from my experience.
...I REALLY appreciate your explanations!!...
The Against Me! tee fits here perfectly
This was a fantastic video, and you have such a soothing voice. Where you ever scared to call your self part boy? Because outside of my nonbinary identity that I'm very sure of there is a part of me that I think definitely feels boy but saying the words out loud feels very vulnerable. I'm out as nonbinary to everyone currently. I always present male in terms of my clothing etc but I think it runs deeper then that.
This is me! I wasnt sure if that is possible. I just dont completly feel like a guy
As a cis woman, this video helpes me to understand more. 🙌
This gave me more confidence in how I feel about my gender identity. Thank you!
Thank you for making this video!
I have been bouncing back and forth for about a year now whether or not I'm non binary or a dude. I don't feel 100% either. I just know that I want to microdose T, bind, and I use they/them pronouns. What you explained feels like me too. I'm still figuring it out. I just know that I'm not cis. Thank you for helping me figure it out. 🥰
thank you for this video! it's really disheartening to see so many people invalidate ur identity. i can relate to this, excpet im afab and feel mostly nonbinary and then somewhat the binary genders.
Thank you for this video - I’m planning to show it to my extended family this week due to them asking questions - and to my immediate family to ~hopefully~ 🤞🤞 get them to support me instead of deadnaming and misgendering me!
This helped me so much, I've been confused between being a trans man or non binary for ages, You've made me realise I identify as a boy, but not entirely (trans masc) and I'm non binary, Thank you Ashton!
I love all your jewelry! Also you have a very soothing voice
Thank you for this!! It helped me figure myself out better 💓
This was so helpful. I'm dating a non-binary trans man after dating exclusively cis-het men. So this is new, and seeing people knowing themselves so thoroughly like this is amazing!
thanks, you just explained Me to Me.
It’s like you’re explaining how I feel for me
I'm non binary man too.
I am bigender (man + neutrois)
I am fisically and socially transitioning FTM but i am still non binary. Non binary trans man
Okay so I'm still confused lol you say "I identify as a boy, but not entirely" so that would make a you a male ALIGNED or masculine non binary person. In terms of definitions you cannot be non binary and a man at the same time. The two binary genders are man and woman. If you don't fully identify as either one of those, you aren't binary, BY DEFINITION. Again, I understand what you're saying in terms of identifying as close to male, but not fully male. It just sounds silly to call yourself a "non binary man" when the terms are contradictory.
He explained this in the video. Did you not watch it, or...?
what I’m saying is that the terms aren’t contradictory. As I explained in the video, I identify with being a male/man/boy, there are just other parts of my identity as well.
Ashton, the terms are contradictory by definition. Male/man/boy are all binary terms.
that’s great if that’s how you see it, but it’s not your job to police my identity.
Ashton Daniel I'm not trying to police your identity lol. Identify as whatever you want, it's obvious you have dysphoria so I don't care. I'm just saying that the words are contradictory 🤷🏻♂️
I always knew I was kinda man. but also a girl (I dont call myself a bigender). I'm more connected to a boyish, I'm more comfortable for being call a boy and be treated as one. i *hate* to be seen as a woman. I want to transition (cuz dysphoria....) and still being comfortable being myself bcz I just know I'm not 100% a man.
THANK YOU!!
Ppl seem to think nonbinary = no gender but that’s not the case and isn’t even a small portion of the identities that the nonbinary umbrella encompasses.Nonbinary in and of itself is/can be a label/identity of its own but it’s also an umbrella term that just means not strictly a man/women,male/female...but I can understand where some ppl get confused especially when thinking in a binary way.Loved the video Ashton ! Thank you for making this.I also love your choker !! 💓
I wish I could figure out if I'm a binary transguy or not 😅 it's a little stressful because it's almost like I'm 99% male but this one percent confuses me and makes me unsure especially since I know so much about the female experience and empathize more than sympathize with my fellow girl humans and idk it's like I'm not at all a girl but I still know what it's like to be one and it's important for me to awknowledge that... If that makes sense?
When you said this I was like ":0 this is so amazing it's how I feel" I identify as nonbinary but also trans male with He/They I always wondered if it was weird so wow thank you
I feel like this
Girl---------------NB----------*-----Boy * = me
Thank you from a fellow enby!
damn, this video is amazing. i feel you
This is a friggin great explanation video. I'm a non-binary trans masc person and I'm gonna show this to my dad to try and help him better understand gender and my own identity. Also nice chocker, the charms were distracting as heck though xD.
Thanks for this video! I've just accepted the "nonbinary" part of my identity, as a trans woman.
Thank you for the video
Loving the hair
Thank you for your video! More people should talk about this. As enby woman, who is also genderfluid, it baffles me when people say "how can you be one of the binaries, while being non binary? " like, genderfluid people by definition can have male, female or any other gender at any point in their life. Should they then stop identifying as enby the moment their gender gets binary? And that is not to say that its only possible for genderfluid people btw. If you are not genderfluid youre still valid since there is literally infinite ways for you gender to be structured. And being nonbinary man is one of them.
Also i recognize the feling of feeling 25% agender or outside of binary, thats mood 🙂👍