My answer is to buy 2+ dozen socks of the same brand and color, then they never have to be paired, because they are all the same. No stress, no problem!
Julie Mac Exactly what I do...when one or two fall into to black hole of the dryer and are lost forever, I just hold on to the extra sox until it finds its new mate. If they get thin or there is a hole in the heel, it is retired to the shoe shine detail. Never had any complaints about not having a mate, feeling lonely or having a purpose from the sox drawer. Happy sox + Happy feet = Happy me 😂
Having been a housekeeper in the USA I can say that Americans are in general very disorganized and hoarders... Marie kondo is a breath of fresh air and in moderation it can be a great tool to help this society:):)
Well, I ike MK, but minimalism has helped me mucho more to keep my space kind "tidy", and as a result, also my mind (I do have depression, and it helps a lot to see things "in oreden" when I feel I'm not able to get up from bed...)
Could you be biased given that you are a housekeeper and only seeing homes with little organization? Overconsumption isn’t just an American thing, especially given the fact that in other countries, it can be seen as status.
When I first met my mother-in-law who has five children (all either teens or college age), she kept an ottoman in the living room (the kind that has storage) where she just dumps everyone's socks in there and lets them figure it out. On seeing that I realized she was a GENIUS!!!! I mean, how much time did that free up for her! Otherwise, that would be 7 people's socks she would have to match up weekly when doing laundry . . . . genius, pure genius!!
Me? I expect kids over 12 to do their own laundry and put it away. Any pairing of socks and folding is optional but they don't get me ironing anything they screwed up in the process.
@@jennil7797 that's exactly what Marie Kondo encourages as well; get the kids to be responsible for their own belongings. It also gives them a sense of ownership when u let them choose what to keep.
I couldn't agree with you more! I think this idea is the whole point! Too much focus on exterior things, whether cleaning & purging or keeping things unnecessarily, we are not getting our joy from the inside.
There ARE 2 Ways to view this about Kondo. Bottom line is Life Balance/ Balance Life. Just dont let life control you & obsess over the small stuff. Anxiety sets itself up either way. Pendulum too far LEFT or RIGHT.
@@stevepowsinger733 I wonder, sir, for you and those who criticize Marie Kondo's method, if you have read her book and or tried to follow the KonMari method?
I actually had bought her book and read it. I attempted to follow it, thought about it and did further study, and decided it was not for me, a fad. I gave the book away to clean things up a bit.
If they do bring you joy then you needn't worry about it, this method is about taking care of our possessions and really appreciating their value, mismatched or not.
@@finehomemadewine We focus on "others" too much too. I've been OCD, perfectionist, to just clean enough and it changes nothing unless you're working on focused on self first before any thing else. Focus on others, please! Be organized yes, but everything in balance. I see so many messed up individuals with organized homes and everything looking so pretty and in order and they are shells, empty on the inside. Focus on others...😒
@@ntitus3025 yes. Got an Aunt who's OCD. To the point of overbearing on others homes & traits. She went to therapy, then used it to compare them to her /or vicé versa. Her home looks like a model home or Exclusive Hotel Lobby. Nice if interior decorator but obsessed to a fault. U visit & can't make a small mess or u get told!
@@DesertlizzyTheWow, my mother is the same. Her place is immaculate. I drove myself crazy when my son was born and I was like, I have to break the cycle I can't pass this crap on to him.
Me too. Marie Kondo doesn’t stick 100% to her own ideas, as she shares on the show. The path she lays out is for those who find their possessions have made life unmanageable to THEIR OWN VIEW. She in no way thinks everyone should follow it. The widow on the show blew the process order out the window and Marie just went with it.
OH I do SO love this woman!!!! Thank you, Dr. Ramani for ALWAYS being so grounded and fun and real and NOT getting caught up in the latest crazy thing~!!!!
At about 3:00 or 3:05 he nailed it with the clarification. I agree she's speaking to the extreme people (which isn't me so I'm done watching). I'm not the patient she's seeking to recruit and I'm clear lol
You're not always gonna fall into this type but they are those who do, it's not completely necessary to comment on anything you can't relate too. Keep in mind she's treated many people, some of those doesnt know they have OCDC until they do, ppl who like this video for example, may have finally found out they have a maladaptive obsession with order and could have been negatively affecting their lives, smtg they might not have known until now.
It's an interesting perspective. That said, sadly the stats show that hoarders and people with significantly impacted and unhealthy lives are far more common than those extreme cases of the opposite. I see great value in the Marie Kondo type movement and really hope it gets people reviewing their lifestyle.
Same here. Most of us, even those who don't hoard, really do have too much stuff. Even if it fits in your home it becomes a burden. I choose not to count how much money I wasted on things I rarely or never used that I've given away in recent years. Lesson learned re not being suckered by advertising.
I agree that all Marie Kondo trying to do is help ppl who have too much stuff to get rid of stuff that clutter our lives that makes it a psychological thing! She's blowing it out of proportion, many I know have tried it and now they feel better in getting rid of things they've just held on to for no reason including myself
I reviewed what was hindering me and most of it has now left the building. I'm happier for it. I like to be able to find things without wasting time, and removing what I don't need/use leaves more space to organize what I do use. Folding t-shirts/tops has saved me a lot of time and aggro when choosing what to wear. Keeping the pantry and fridge organized means less food waste. I dislike housework but want a clean home, so having less means having less to clean. Unexpected visitors aren't a problem - I wonder how many people avoid having guests or get a sinking feeling when they arrive home because the place is a mess? How many people die and leave a tonne of junk for others to sort out? I'm not obsessive about it, but find living in chaos gets me down. However I DID recently go to work with two odd socks on under my boots and didn't care, so this one made me chuckle!
What I'm looking forward to after completing my own tidying marathon is the significantly reduced time needed to clean and put away clutter. 30 minutes? I can do that! Right now it takes days! The sheer daunting amount of work and time it takes me to clean right now is one of the primary reasons I have such a messy apartment. It's exhausting to keep up with it. If I could streamline the process, I think I'd be cured. Marie Kondo gives me hope. ^_^
I have literally been stuck in crippling limbo cleaning out my stash of fabric not knowing if I should keep my favourite fabrics because they ‘spark joy’ or the stuff I actually use because I make things other people like as gifts and the minimalism thing seems to focus on use. Seriously did my head in. I hate decluttering, it takes all my mental and physical energy. Unfortunately I also love the after effect of a clean house. I really wish there were more shows about normal homes because the hoarding ones have me convinced I’m a hoarder 🤦🏻♀️
I love you, Ramani. You are amazing. I love your courage and strength. I love how powerful that you show your unmatching sucks and show it to the world like you don't care. You always look neat and tidy. I love that you show that you are not perfect. Even though I always wear matching sucks, I love that you don't. I'm between Ramani and Marie
I love Dr. Ramani, she's so real with who she is and she's happy ultimately that's all that matters. I can definitely relate to her my socks never match lol. I have some order but sometimes I don't because at the end of the day we are not perfect just humans trying the best we can and if it doesn't affect anyone else why change?
"Now what"🤔... now u have time to live ur life w/less stress... less stuff & more order & cleanliness is awesome!💖... my kid & husband r happier too!... Marie Kondo is Fabulous!! I may not follow 100% but a good 90% is ok😉
I don’t remember if I’ve commented on this video before; But, if I haven’t, I just wanna that I wish I could be like Dr. Ramani. She is my inspiration and I want to live with mismatched socks. You go, girl!
I guess I'm right in the middle: I like to keep my house organized (and all the socks neatly folded) and I do a thorough declutter every year or so - but if something's lying around for a day or two, or something isn't in 'its spot', I could hardly care any less. I'll tidy it up at some point usually, but until then it just is what it is.
I think this is unfair Kon mArie inspired me and so many others . No one follows anyone 100% . It’s just like diets or Pinterest. Everything is perfect but no one can truly live like that . I think she finally gave me a way to end the clutter and endless hours of cleaning monthly
And that's her point. People who have the particular psychological issues she was addressing will tend to take things too far and create a different problem for themselves by overemphasizing the "order" aspect of her program.
I'm kinda sad that due to cultural differences, the western world generally misunderstand what Marie Kondo is trying to do. Her approach is heavily influenced by Japanese beliefs of earthly objects gaining spirits from the intent of humans and the way they're used over time. That was not explained in her book (like the way some english translations do their due diligence in manga) and without that understanding, it comes across as kooky, even bordering on loony. The generalizations drawn are also from a lack of studying her methods (it is actually a lot less superficial than ppl assume). So much is lost in translation.
I made my first round of konmari method in nov '17. Now in time I became minimalist. I m so happy to have time&energy for my family + nature + art ... I m not struggling anymore in my depresse - anxious moody. I have healed ( trained ) ocd & anx. disorder. Of course I got help from my psychotherapist.
OMG, I NEED MORE OF DR. RAMANI ADDRESSING THE FETISHIZATION OF ORGANIZING! It's becoming such an over- the- top phenomenon. PLEASE, PLEASE do more of these!
I found that I did get a little obsessive for awhile while doing the knonmari method and decluttering in general, but after the clutter was gone, the need to declutter went away as well. Even more strange, I am much less concerned about having my house perfectly cleaned all of the time. It stays mostly clean without all of the excess items, I get rid of things that are no longer useful more quickly now and feel more peaceful in general. After the clutter was gone I intuitively started to focus on more internal issues and feel like I have the space to work through those now. I agree that it is a slippery slope, however I think that is important to understand that if we want to change a bad habit or belief system we may have to obsessively focus on it for a time. The trick will be making sure we stop obsessing after the time to do so has passed.
Being able to throw things which no longer serve their purpose does affect your mental health positively because it gives you more time and space to concentrate on things that matter.
He spoke about the refrigerator I was like: Yaaasss Kyle!!!! When she took her shoes off I was like: Yaaasss Dr. Ramani!!! Some people are more organized, some are not. Im fine as long as I can find what Im looking for.
I wad a strange kid. All of my clothes were perfectly folded. Socks were rolled into pairs and ordered in my sock drawer based on length, color, texture. All of my things were placed perfectly on shelves. My toys were rarely played with and kept in their packaging because I wanted to keep them in pristine condition. They were organized in my toy chest and drawers based on type and purpose. I almost never let other kids or my sister play with my toys because I knew they wouldn’t be careful with them. I continued this habit until college when I finally found out I had OCD. Since being medicated, orginzation is no longer an obsession and I can live a normal life. My mother kept all of my toys and I gave them to my daughter.
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly like Dr. Ramani more, I find out that her sock drawer looks like mine, and that she also wears unmatched socks. You rock, Doctor! 😊👍
If you disagree with Dr. Ramani, you most likely misunderstood her or have never suffered with OCPD! She just described one of my biggest life struggles and the only way I could get through it is let go, which in her analogy, means letting your socks be unmatched! When someone has this tendency, it's everything-- life standards etc. And when things aren't how you believe they should be, it causes severe mental distress and just unhappiness constantly. I'd love to learn more about this!!
Yeah, I’d love to have everything perfect, but that’s impossible. Time and energy are limited, so it’s a trade-off. What do we give up to be so put-together? Is it really worth it? It’s strange; I feel as if I don’t know what’s right anymore. When I try to do something, I aim for perfection. It’s all or nothing. Either something is well-cleaned or it’s a mess. It can be very stressful and discouraging.
I am this way a bit about my workspace. I really just can’t think well with a lot of junk everywhere. I’m better since I had my kid. I let a lot of stuff go then, (a lot I had no choice about really), but when I have time and all that, I prefer stuff looking organized, fairly sparse and not cluttered and rather uniform. If I’m not working on it atm, I don’t even want to see any of it. Like I have to put it away until it’s time to work on it. It’s like overwhelm really. Like for example, going into a Micael’s store. Omg. The eye gymnastics. The color and variety overload. I usually don’t go there tho. Ha ha. Good thing I’m not into crafts. Lmao. But yeah. It can really be a more serious issue when the pressure is on and you can’t leave home yet bcuz this or that isn’t tidy or fixed just so. It’s like I used to take forever getting ready bcuz my hair and outfit and all this had to be perfect (and I used to iron everything also).
@@goodenoughgirl8102 OMG...now I understand why arts and craft type things (as much as I love pottery, painting and making things)..also gives me massive anxiety! Thank you!
For all the analytics I do with Dr Ramani and I really don’t have anything to back it up. This video is one of my favorites. I think because I was able to see her be her. And it was absolutely lovely.
I understand what she's getting at. Life is about balance, and not about obsessively worrying over items or organization. I have one parent who is likely OCPD (rigid, perfectionistic, always harping on when a system is not logical or organized or not time efficient) and I have one parent who was raised by a hoarder and has very strong emotional attachments to objects and is disorganized and unable to let go of objects. I witness one parent's bad mood and criticism because the top shelf in the fridge is a condiment free-for-all, no order. And on the other hand, or in the other parent, the disorganized collecting and worry that "I might need that" or "So-and-so gave me that, so I can't use it. I have to treasure it." - all of the things give them joy, but simultaneously give them a lingering anxiety and stress. Anxiety for one is disorder and chaos; sparsity and lack is terror to the other, to the extent that anxiety from not having something is greater than the anxiety caused by clutter and social stigma. I can see both sides, as the rigid parent is not joyful despite having well organized drawers and a mostly empty closet, but then the disorganized parent is struggling through items (or not motivated to do something because it requires wrestling through clutter). It would seem having less could be more joyful, but it is a matter of personality. Oddly enough, both parents struggle with "Let it go" but in different directions.
I actually appreciate and love this interview. I for one, needed to organize my drawers and get them into order - mostly because I just bought a new, smaller dresser. After studying the Konmari method, I (somewhat) mostly adopted her techniques and now everything is tidily in its place. *However,* ... I don't want to become a slave to that, as just thinking about all the time involved is a stressful thought. So far, I'm content with my initial new tidy space but I'm not going to stress over it. I do like the Konmari method, but I also *really* like Dr. Ramani's take on things 🙌🏽👌🏽😊 I like to spend my time doing other, more meaningful things that bring *me* joy 🕊🙏🏽💖💛🧡💫✌🏽
Dr. Ramani IS MY HERO!!!! I have ashy legs and crazy out of control sock drawers too. Spending more than 2 minutes contemplating either one would NEVER bring me joy. I'd be pissed off that those are 2 minutes I wasted and I will never get them back. YAY for the soothing sight of ashy legs and unmatched socks
I used to obsessively clean out closets. I’d clean one out only to do it over and over again. I’d color coordinate everything and then a family member would mess it up and I’d feel absolutely destroyed. I had no joy in my life whatsoever.
Dr Ramani has made feel acceptance and pride for qualities of myself that I once felt ashamed of! My home is never ever perfect, and I used to feel horrible. It’s messy though because I always put quality time with kids first, life experiences, time outdoors, time with pets, many things! Do I like tidiness and order? Yes. Have I improved my decluttering and organization and motivation skills? Yes! However I’ve also come to embrace my mess because I am happy! Thank you for the millionth time Dr Ramani. You’ve brought me so much joy ;-)
I am a matching sock girl. Everything has a place. Mostly because I'm may be ADD or ADHD undiagnosed. It definitely helps to keep me and my brain organized!
Spot On. Marie's method of decluttering is inspiring AND a "slippery slope". Minimalism is a strategy to clear the mind; gratitude and appreciation are tremendously freeing; recognition of all things as energetically connected is insightful and balancing; ritualism establishes habits, both good...... and potentially problematic for some people with predispositions to rigidity, anxiety, and perfectionism. Balance in all things. The question is, "CAN you leave the sock drawer in a mess.... ?" If not, you are on the downside of that slippery slope.
Oh thank you so much! All my friends are crazy about this Marie Kondo fad and I just don't get it. I can establish or follow rules when I need to, but this kind of technique goes way beyond practical considerations. To me, it feels like introducing rules and rigidity in whatever little area of freedom or fun I have left in my life. Which doesn't spark joy, for me. It feels super stressful. I feel uncomfortable in a place where everything is so tidy that you can't do anything any other way than one single "proper" way. Sure, I need to declutter every once in a while, spring clean. But I'm creative and intuitive, I need my freedom, I need a spread out visual mess to find my way, my things, my inspiration. On another note, people tend to buy too many things for their needs nowadays, and encouraging them to throw stuff out the minute they don't like it anymore to make room is probably not going to help with the overconsumption problem.
I hear you. There is nothing joyful about that folding routine. I read the book when it first came out (before it grew legs) and thought it was a little creepy.
I am good in a nice middle point between Marie Kondo and those unmatching socks. XD When I moved I abroad, I took just my suitcase and began all over again buying things for my new home. I found that curated items make me happy. Not fixating on owning more stuff and just knowing where the things I really need and use are, gives me peace of mind. Now, I don't like to spend way too long cleaning and organizing, that's why the approach of having less works for me. Randomness stresses me out, so I do keep things stored by categories, and my socks match, but I don't dwell on the perfectly folded and ironed clothes.
I laughed so hard at this and I love you all for it! Thanks for making everyone feel human and relatable. I feel as though the state of clutter in my home is a reflection of my cluttered thoughts the majority of the time. I find use in almost EVERYTHING and then will not allow myself the freedom to get rid of the "things". Also I might add that living in a state of construction for extended periods of time is a commitment that takes lots of mental will power and it sometimes takes daily reminders that I chose to DIY an old home instead of taking on a conventional mortgage as I myself am very unconventional. LOL Have a fab weekend guys XOXO
Ironically I think she has overanalyzed this entire concept, and possibly unconsciously reacted defensively because Marie Kondo's vision collided with her "messy sock drawer"-lifestyle. There are a lot more people that live their lives in unorganised chaos, than there are people with OCD tendencies that could possibly get worse by organising their home. I actually developed OCD tendencies _because_ my mind, life and home was in chaos. Just having a method and reason to sort my socks for instance, made me feel much better. I've never had a more organised closet, and a less chaotic apartment has given me room to breathe. I have also had a long standing problem with strong hoarding tendencies as well (I still do, to a lesser degree), but Marie Kondo inspired me to actually put away two garbage bags of clothes I didn't need. Even though it took me an entire year to do, I feel less inclined to keep everything I've ever owned, as well as thinking about what I actually buy.
omg dr. ramani, i love you even more now knowing your socks are mismatched. i have that same sock drawer and my socks NEVER match... don't know where the hell the matching sock ends up?!?!?!??
Dr Ramani is so real. Thank you. Having just gone Konmari on my life, I found it overwhelming, very laborious and soul destroying. Yes I have joy to a degree from being better organised but the process was way too stressful for my physical limitations. Not to be recommended for anyone with a physical or mental challenge. I will NEVER use this method again. Better to tackle one draw, cupboard, zone at a time and enjoy the experience. It's definitely a personal thing. Thanks again for this video, despite it's seeming unpopularity in the comments.
Laughing my socks off 🤣 This is hilarious.! also Kyle adding his take on it, priceless ☺ What a great video, I too recognized the rigidity, obsessiveness of Marie Kondo. Bought her book years ago, didn't work for me. Hell, I have OCPD and have been busy organising my home for the last 15 years.. my home has always been cluttered, hoarding stuff and perfecting organising them. Total disaster story. About three years ago, becoming more and more totally fed up with living in chaos, I got inspired by minimalism and saw what it would bring me. Eventually I got detached from all my stuff, wanted everything gone. But felt that this wasn't the best way also.. Came across this book 'Goodbye Things ' written by Fumio Sasaki. In it he shows photo's of his own former hoarded home, and how he got rid of stuff. It taught me a lot of stuff, and reminds me of what Ramani is saying; joy is found elsewhere, where our hearts connect to other beings, passion, etc. I still have a long way to go in this, I keep on feeling highly chaotic and overwhelmed on a daily basis and postpone almost everything that brings joy. It's like I feel I don't deserve to have carefree moments and have fun, or something. Hopefully my soon to start program of Mentalisation Based Therapy will help me deal with the underlying issues of anxiety/trauma.
Thanks for making it real. I think we can watch Maria Kondo and take away from her theories what works for us, but this was a useful bit of caution to not take it too far. Also, this will help us watch for those unhealthy thoughts that might encroach into our lives. As a life long "muddle maker" I wrestle daily with forming habits that make my home habitable for, not just me, but those who live in and visit my home. So, the less stuff I have the less time it takes to keep it habitable. It's just being practical.
Making It Through I honestly think Dr R is just reacting to her own internalized shame about not managing her own stuff. Not Marie’s fault she tells herself anyone who follows Marie is obsessive as a way to avoid facing the reality of her u managed stuff.
@@i.e.presents638 No, she actually has a valid point because she is addressing this specifically in regard to those with OCD and OCPD. As someone with OCD, MK’s methods are not difficult for me to overthink and turn into a “ritual,” which gradually get worse and more stressful over time. I lived with a similar ritual my first two years in college, and it eventually became a challenge to make it to class on time because everything had to be orderly in a very specific way. MK’s ideas are great for many, but not everyone.
I've been feeling what Dr. Ramani said here but was unable to properly articulate it until now so thank you and here's my rant continuing her points. I love that Dr. Ramani talks foremost about how Marie's method brings about a new behavioral pattern for daily living, one that isn't a standard one size fits all. Regardless of intentions it's a bit irresponsible to present a new "healthy way of living" when that may not be the case for everyone. You talk to your doctor before taking new medicine so why would mental health "medicine" be any different? When you're a counselor your main goal would be to give power/esteem back to the client because their life feels like it's no longer their own. Marie's method is to control the hell out of the things in your house, but when real life happens outside of your house (outside of your control) the coping skills are still nonexistent. Point being: surface level Marie's method helps people organize their loads of crap. Deeper level it creates a greater attachment to things that "spark joy" by personalizing material things, which is a trait of hoarding.
Jaz Reardon This is outright falsehood. Marie’s method does not control the hell out of anything. There is no one size fits all to the Kondo method. You are both speaking from ignorance. I hope no one ever takes your life’s work and trashes it publicly without even bothering to read the book or watch the series. How dare you.
I'm closer to Dr. Ramani. In fact, since 2009, I've been organizing my home-- writing my receipts on paper for taxes, folding and putting away socks and laundry, going through old recordings and research papers, collating presskits--while doing aerobics. I'm happy to live as a work-in-progress. Love and hugs to Dr. Kondo and other OCD shrinks! Mwah!
I think some people here are taking what Dr. Ramani is saying too personally. I guess where she is concerned is for those of us that are Type A personality who strive for perfection and may go too far in trying to "be Marie Kondo". I love Marie Kondo, and I think she is helping people realize that we have a short life and should focus on things that make us happy.
I think from a minimalist perspective keeping only what Sparks Joy is very gentle way of only keeping items you actually like or serve you. If you have something in your closet that does not spark Joy it means the item does not serve you or make you happy in any way and it simply does not belong there. Period. As a person with anxiety. Family of four people living in a small apartment. Marie Kondo gives me more sanity than anything. The folding method is not all that complex if you learn it and the clothes stand up making them easier to see and saves time.
Love this lady. Talk about comfortable with herself. If a person chooses to go down the super neat and tidy road, it can become an anxiety inducer. Best to be like the lady and put your energies into life and living rather than neatly folded socks. However, that being said, It would be nice if I could find a pair of matching socks... or even some socks.
Marie Kondo actually admitted to have a problem with organization. But there's value to her system but I've found that trying to adhere to her system has given me anxiety and I felt overwhelmed.
I started folding things around me; paper towels packed in my lunch by my husband, wash cloths in the break room at work. I now find folding things a little calming. I have some perfectly folded drawers and other stuff not so much. I am working on it. My fantasy is a beautiful organized accessible closet.
There's always going to be someone who takes things too far. That goes for anything in life. I personally have taken the parts of her method that I like, and discarded the rest. I'm glad that the doctor was respectful about her critique.
Omg...I definitely have been the sock folding/organizing type for a long time! It brings me joy to know it will be easy to have a together outfit when I open it & can find a matching pair in 60 seconds 😆
I feel I’ve come to a point in my laundry where I am efficient. I pair the socks and any odd ones stay in the basket and if their pair isn’t found in a week or so they find their way to the bin. I fold clothes straight out the drier so I don’t have to waste time ironing them. I put them away the same day in a kind of orderly way. So I separate winter and summer, tops and bottoms etc but definitely not colour coded. Clear out twice a year, at end of winter and summer and anything old or doesn’t fit goes to charity. I think finding basically anything that brings you joy to do is great if you can maintain it while living your life without it taking over
I’m you Kyle. I spend Saturday morning organizing and putting stuff back in its place and then it’s me time! In the afternoon, NO CLEANING, NO ORGANIZING! Because whether we realize it or not organizing is work and our brains need a rest!
Hoarding and the Anxiety of stuff is real. We attached so many emotions to "objects" I am in the process of purging and as I purge I bring up emotions and then I force myself to deal with them.
I have to agree. I recently stated that the obsession of keeping such control over managing your “ stuff” in straight lines and freaky obsession of baskets I think borders on unrealistic perfection. I am someone who purged three or four times a year well before it was an “ obsession “ . If I come home from work tired I will not obsess about items on my kitchen counter , bedroom dresser , or the lack of order of my sock draw. Self care is so much more important. I also practice a lighter version of minimalism but do not worship it like a religion. Life is sometimes messy and the best plans can unravel in a second be flexible. If your self worth and image are derived from straight lines I can't imagine what a number they must do on themselves when the lines are not exactly straight.
This was great! Laughed so hard! Love, love this video. Kyle you were so adorable. Even though you couldn’t handle Dr. Ramani’s mismatched sockets, your great. Love you both! ❤️
My Marie Kondo fix to the sock conundrum as a mom of 7 children?? I got rid of socks altogether and bought Crocs for everybody 😆 #nosocksbringmejoy Thanks for the balanced perspective as always with Dr. Ramani along.
Marie Kondo has an old shirt that Sparks Joy ... Did you even read the book? She admits to not always fallowing her rituals perfectly when exhausted and drying off and putting away shampoo bottles keeps the mold and roaches away.... cleaning shoes after you wear them is also good for keeping things you own in tact longer so you have to work less hours to buy things. People assume so much about her that I don't appreciate.
Witch89 8989 exactly, getting so tired of people misinterpreting her work. It’s actually just click bait to make money off her hard work. I need to quit falling for it.🤦🏼♀️
@@stillwatersfarm8499 Thank you. She is so nice and tells people to use cardboard shoe boxes to organize... Wiping off shoes when you come home is not ocd at all if you want to keep your shoes longer
Same here, the way anti fans treat the concept of spark joy, as if you have to have a smile and intense positive feelings about it. In the book it's about being mindful so you can appreciate your items, including functional ones and how to remove space invaders without holding onto negative emotions about it. Decluttering can be very cathartic and grounding, so I can respect the concern of it becoming an addictive obsesion when you're already prone to impulsive stress relief. Admittedly I feel good completing chores (they're like mini daily goals) and I use the time to enjoy passive entertainment so I'm very biassed.
@@vanessalane8037 for sure I mean she says the Joy of having kids transcends having a perfectly clean home. She admits her kids make a mess and she cleans it all up in the evening it does not take as long because they don't have a lot of stuff. She is not as pretentious as people think she's not at all. I'm so mad anyone would say she's flirting with OCD. People with OCD wash their hands when the already washed them. Not fold things in thirds... It's not complex if you learned to make an oragami crane by age 7 ... I did and I'm not even Japanese.
@@vanessalane8037 and also your supposed to keep anything that Sparks Joy... And if you need all the socks you have to be content I think that counts as sparking joy. She never made a rule against socks being mix matched. Lol
Yes! I am a fairly tidy, organized person but the Marie Kondo approach has never completely jived with me and this video totally explains how I feel about it.
Thank you! The first time I saw the ritual folding I thought, yeah my that's my OCD Dad! Not a healthy mentally balanced man but an OCD Narcissist. Only time this folding is handy is when packing a suit case. People with mismatched socks accomplish more in life than a perfect drawer.
Go Dr. Ramani! As long as how you relate to your "stuff" is helping your life more than hurting it, it's all good. If you'd rather organize your physical environment than anything else, go for it. But you can't also complain that you wish you were better at chess or had time to help make the world a better place, etc.. You made a choice, and it was your sock drawer.
The idea of thanking the items and clothes for their usefulness really helped me get rid of stuff I only thought about when I was going through stuff to get rid of. Another thing that helped me was just telling myself I won't even remember that I had it (and this is true too. I have tried to remember what they were but I have forgotten them). I also just buy the same black socks. Organizing them Marie's way has really helped me though. Before I couldn't even find the matches to my socks so I bought new ones. At one point I had hundreds of socks. Now I have about 20 pairs and I put them in a neat little row. That brings me joy.
I loved this segment. I'm SOOOOO Dr. Ramani - in fact, for the best and most joyous part of my life, I absolutely refused to wear matching socks. I'd wear unmatched socks on purpose. I need to stop wearing matching socks and bring the joy back into my life.
I have OCPD and it's hard for me to let go of things that could have a use later, like foam from packaging and washed yogurt lids and the rolls from toilet paper. The stuff isn't garbage, but I hold onto it for a project that I haven't even defined yet. And I'm sure if I ever need foam or yogurt lids or cardboard rolls, there will be more nearby. I used to keep magazines that had articles I liked. Then I cut out the articles and put them in page protectors to save space. Then I realized I had multiple boxes of these that I NEVER went back and looked at. They do spark joy when I look at them, but I don't have occasion to look at them. I also have boxes full of postcards (used and new), boxes full of maps, and stuff like that. They have a use, but I'm not using them. I know I should get rid of them. And clothes - I save them in case I want to use the fabric for a project. I would need a storage unit for all the items that are potential craft supplies! I don't know why it's so hard for me to let them go.
I am kinda the opposite, chaotic outsides can do.. but inside the smaller the things get the more orderly they get to be. So they have a home and I know where to find them. I guess am orderly when it’s productive
@@summydots Me, too! The living space you see, looks a bit chaotic. But the infrastructure is a thing of beauty. I know exactly where everything lives. I'm sure Dr. Armani could shed some light on that. 🔆
This was hysterical. I’m somewhere in between but do not get excited about fridge organizing other than clean and moldy food caught early. Simple is good. Socks all white and durable for my lifestyle works for me. 💪🏼
I am just glad I am not the only one. I appreciate her for helping people get organized and appreciation of things we are blessed to have but she lost me at talking to the items.
I’m quite convinced this woman didn’t even read Marie Kondo book. She doesn’t get the concept of what Marie is saying, and actually really adverse to Marie. She’s just projecting the very worst case situation if someone gets really obsessed with Marie Kondo. Marie isn’t even going for perfection
What a relief seeing a real, human being showing her (somewhat) unmatched socks in public. And does anybody doubt that Dr Ramani has a Life? We are not our stuff.
I'm in Dr Raminis camp of "mismatched" socks! Life's too short to worry about your socks! She absolutely described my late MIL with how the house had to be top to bottom perfect, and my ex said she had relaxed her standards from when he was a kid!
Learning a new folding technique that took 20min to master that involves folding my clothes in thirds so they can be stored vertical so I can see them better and saves me time getting ready has been such hell on my nerves. Also taking a minute to see if they need repair and appreciating what I already have so I spend less on clothes... Very very damaging to my psyche to say the least LoL 😂😂😂
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Watch the rest of this series with Dr. Ramani Durvasula instantly HERE: bit.ly/3iIrrMq
I think some where in the middle is best Marie condo sounds cool but we are pushing people to perfect on this era and there is no such thing
My answer is to buy 2+ dozen socks of the same brand and color, then they never have to be paired, because they are all the same. No stress, no problem!
Julie Mac I do that 🤗
Julie Mac
Exactly what I do...when one or two fall into to black hole of the dryer and are lost forever, I just hold on to the extra sox until it finds its new mate. If they get thin or there is a hole in the heel, it is retired to the shoe shine detail. Never had any complaints about not having a mate, feeling lonely or having a purpose from the sox drawer. Happy sox + Happy feet = Happy me 😂
Julie Mac Genius 👏🏻
Oh yeah, thats satisfying 😉
Julie Mac I can’t live that monochrome 😆 but I respect the technique!
Having been a housekeeper in the USA I can say that Americans are in general very disorganized and hoarders... Marie kondo is a breath of fresh air and in moderation it can be a great tool to help this society:):)
Pri USA Disorganization is about the over consumption of things. It's like a poverty mentality that goes the other way.
Well, I ike MK, but minimalism has helped me mucho more to keep my space kind "tidy", and as a result, also my mind (I do have depression, and it helps a lot to see things "in oreden" when I feel I'm not able to get up from bed...)
Tribute to my mom: she always said, everything in moderation.
Could you be biased given that you are a housekeeper and only seeing homes with little organization? Overconsumption isn’t just an American thing, especially given the fact that in other countries, it can be seen as status.
TRUE add Arabic people.
When I first met my mother-in-law who has five children (all either teens or college age), she kept an ottoman in the living room (the kind that has storage) where she just dumps everyone's socks in there and lets them figure it out. On seeing that I realized she was a GENIUS!!!! I mean, how much time did that free up for her! Otherwise, that would be 7 people's socks she would have to match up weekly when doing laundry . . . . genius, pure genius!!
Me? I expect kids over 12 to do their own laundry and put it away. Any pairing of socks and folding is optional but they don't get me ironing anything they screwed up in the process.
I think she's a genius too! Brilliant.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻
@@jennil7797 that's exactly what Marie Kondo encourages as well; get the kids to be responsible for their own belongings. It also gives them a sense of ownership when u let them choose what to keep.
I love how joy can be different for different people, chaos for one can be beauty for another.
I couldn't agree with you more! I think this idea is the whole point! Too much focus on exterior things, whether cleaning & purging or keeping things unnecessarily, we are not getting our joy from the inside.
I agree
i think there has to be a balance, definitely. but that balance depends on you and your personal circumstances at the moment.
I love Marie Kondo! She helped me to let go of things that don't work for me. Order is beautiful, and people are more important.
There ARE 2 Ways to view this about Kondo. Bottom line is Life Balance/ Balance Life. Just dont let life control you & obsess over the small stuff. Anxiety sets itself up either way. Pendulum too far LEFT or RIGHT.
Kondo seeks to replace one disorder with another.
@@stevepowsinger733 I wonder, sir, for you and those who criticize Marie Kondo's method, if you have read her book and or tried to follow the KonMari method?
I actually had bought her book and read it. I attempted to follow it, thought about it and did further study, and decided it was not for me, a fad. I gave the book away to clean things up a bit.
Life is too short to worry about mismatched socks - especially when you can't see them
Exactly👊🏻
😂😂😂
wore pink and grey socks the otherday that were visible. xD
If they do bring you joy then you needn't worry about it, this method is about taking care of our possessions and really appreciating their value, mismatched or not.
I agree with Dr. Ramani we focus too much on the other things in our lives than our minds/mental state. Too superficial, lacking depth.
The point of those organizers is that if you have your life/house in order you are more able to focus on others.
@@finehomemadewine We focus on "others" too much too. I've been OCD, perfectionist, to just clean enough and it changes nothing unless you're working on focused on self first before any thing else. Focus on others, please! Be organized yes, but everything in balance. I see so many messed up individuals with organized homes and everything looking so pretty and in order and they are shells, empty on the inside. Focus on others...😒
So as I said, I went the other way from organized clean home to dusty unorganized just after my Father ( last parent) died.
What does that signal?
@@ntitus3025 yes. Got an Aunt who's OCD. To the point of overbearing on others homes & traits. She went to therapy, then used it to compare them to her /or vicé versa. Her home looks like a model home or Exclusive Hotel Lobby.
Nice if interior decorator but obsessed to a fault.
U visit & can't make a small mess or u get told!
@@DesertlizzyTheWow, my mother is the same. Her place is immaculate. I drove myself crazy when my son was born and I was like, I have to break the cycle I can't pass this crap on to him.
I'm sick of people ragging on Marie Kondo. Her method is genius and is actually less materialistic than western culture's way of dealing with things.
Me too. Marie Kondo doesn’t stick 100% to her own ideas, as she shares on the show. The path she lays out is for those who find their possessions have made life unmanageable to THEIR OWN VIEW. She in no way thinks everyone should follow it. The widow on the show blew the process order out the window and Marie just went with it.
Who was "ragging" on her? Simply pointing out there is a risk to some people, which is true.
Well, take a deep dive into the culture of Japanese perfectionism. That'll make you breathe through a straw..!
OH I do SO love this woman!!!! Thank you, Dr. Ramani for ALWAYS being so grounded and fun and real and NOT getting caught up in the latest crazy thing~!!!!
Absolutely! 'Things' are not more important than us!!
I think you’re over thinking her method. It’s a way to keep clutter from piling up and not be a hoarder.
At about 3:00 or 3:05 he nailed it with the clarification. I agree she's speaking to the extreme people (which isn't me so I'm done watching). I'm not the patient she's seeking to recruit and I'm clear lol
@@gabriellewhite7726 yeah, hopefully more and more people gain awareness to the target audience of a mental health vid
You're not always gonna fall into this type but they are those who do, it's not completely necessary to comment on anything you can't relate too. Keep in mind she's treated many people, some of those doesnt know they have OCDC until they do, ppl who like this video for example, may have finally found out they have a maladaptive obsession with order and could have been negatively affecting their lives, smtg they might not have known until now.
It's an interesting perspective. That said, sadly the stats show that hoarders and people with significantly impacted and unhealthy lives are far more common than those extreme cases of the opposite. I see great value in the Marie Kondo type movement and really hope it gets people reviewing their lifestyle.
Samuel Holden amen brother!!
Same here. Most of us, even those who don't hoard, really do have too much stuff. Even if it fits in your home it becomes a burden. I choose not to count how much money I wasted on things I rarely or never used that I've given away in recent years. Lesson learned re not being suckered by advertising.
I agree that all Marie Kondo trying to do is help ppl who have too much stuff to get rid of stuff that clutter our lives that makes it a psychological thing! She's blowing it out of proportion, many I know have tried it and now they feel better in getting rid of things they've just held on to for no reason including myself
Samuel Holden I totally agree with you.
That's a good point. On a general, functional level, people gotta start somewhere and Marie Kondo has ideas that can be helpful for many.
I reviewed what was hindering me and most of it has now left the building. I'm happier for it. I like to be able to find things without wasting time, and removing what I don't need/use leaves more space to organize what I do use. Folding t-shirts/tops has saved me a lot of time and aggro when choosing what to wear. Keeping the pantry and fridge organized means less food waste.
I dislike housework but want a clean home, so having less means having less to clean. Unexpected visitors aren't a problem - I wonder how many people avoid having guests or get a sinking feeling when they arrive home because the place is a mess? How many people die and leave a tonne of junk for others to sort out? I'm not obsessive about it, but find living in chaos gets me down.
However I DID recently go to work with two odd socks on under my boots and didn't care, so this one made me chuckle!
What I'm looking forward to after completing my own tidying marathon is the significantly reduced time needed to clean and put away clutter. 30 minutes? I can do that! Right now it takes days! The sheer daunting amount of work and time it takes me to clean right now is one of the primary reasons I have such a messy apartment. It's exhausting to keep up with it. If I could streamline the process, I think I'd be cured. Marie Kondo gives me hope. ^_^
I have literally been stuck in crippling limbo cleaning out my stash of fabric not knowing if I should keep my favourite fabrics because they ‘spark joy’ or the stuff I actually use because I make things other people like as gifts and the minimalism thing seems to focus on use. Seriously did my head in. I hate decluttering, it takes all my mental and physical energy. Unfortunately I also love the after effect of a clean house. I really wish there were more shows about normal homes because the hoarding ones have me convinced I’m a hoarder 🤦🏻♀️
I love you, Ramani. You are amazing. I love your courage and strength. I love how powerful that you show your unmatching sucks and show it to the world like you don't care. You always look neat and tidy. I love that you show that you are not perfect. Even though I always wear matching sucks, I love that you don't. I'm between Ramani and Marie
I love Dr. Ramani, she's so real with who she is and she's happy ultimately that's all that matters. I can definitely relate to her my socks never match lol. I have some order but sometimes I don't because at the end of the day we are not perfect just humans trying the best we can and if it doesn't affect anyone else why change?
"Now what"🤔... now u have time to live ur life w/less stress... less stuff & more order & cleanliness is awesome!💖... my kid & husband r happier too!... Marie Kondo is Fabulous!! I may not follow 100% but a good 90% is ok😉
I don’t remember if I’ve commented on this video before; But, if I haven’t, I just wanna that I wish I could be like Dr. Ramani. She is my inspiration and I want to live with mismatched socks. You go, girl!
I guess I'm right in the middle: I like to keep my house organized (and all the socks neatly folded) and I do a thorough declutter every year or so - but if something's lying around for a day or two, or something isn't in 'its spot', I could hardly care any less. I'll tidy it up at some point usually, but until then it just is what it is.
I think this is unfair
Kon mArie inspired me and so many others . No one follows anyone 100% . It’s just like diets or Pinterest. Everything is perfect but no one can truly live like that .
I think she finally gave me a way to end the clutter and endless hours of cleaning monthly
It’s not unfair at all. Not even close to being unfair.
There is nothing rigid about MK. People who interpret it that way are the ones that have the problem.
And that's her point. People who have the particular psychological issues she was addressing will tend to take things too far and create a different problem for themselves by overemphasizing the "order" aspect of her program.
i think thats what shes trying to get at
I'm kinda sad that due to cultural differences, the western world generally misunderstand what Marie Kondo is trying to do. Her approach is heavily influenced by Japanese beliefs of earthly objects gaining spirits from the intent of humans and the way they're used over time. That was not explained in her book (like the way some english translations do their due diligence in manga) and without that understanding, it comes across as kooky, even bordering on loony. The generalizations drawn are also from a lack of studying her methods (it is actually a lot less superficial than ppl assume). So much is lost in translation.
I made my first round of konmari method in nov '17. Now in time I became minimalist. I m so happy to have time&energy for my family + nature + art ... I m not struggling anymore in my depresse - anxious moody. I have healed ( trained ) ocd & anx. disorder. Of course I got help from my psychotherapist.
Mis-matched socks!!! I love her even more. 😂
A Cb105 I know .. ME TOO!
I was just about to type the same thing!
Me too! She rocks!
OMG, I NEED MORE OF DR. RAMANI ADDRESSING THE FETISHIZATION OF ORGANIZING! It's becoming such an over- the- top phenomenon. PLEASE, PLEASE do more of these!
So well put. I have been thinking about everything in bins on shelves but never saw it for what it is- fetish.
This was the most hilarious episode so far. Informative and funny. Thanks 😂
Ikr? 100% agree! 👍😅
Lol the sock drawer was pandora's box
I found that I did get a little obsessive for awhile while doing the knonmari method and decluttering in general, but after the clutter was gone, the need to declutter went away as well. Even more strange, I am much less concerned about having my house perfectly cleaned all of the time. It stays mostly clean without all of the excess items, I get rid of things that are no longer useful more quickly now and feel more peaceful in general. After the clutter was gone I intuitively started to focus on more internal issues and feel like I have the space to work through those now. I agree that it is a slippery slope, however I think that is important to understand that if we want to change a bad habit or belief system we may have to obsessively focus on it for a time. The trick will be making sure we stop obsessing after the time to do so has passed.
Being able to throw things which no longer serve their purpose does affect your mental health positively because it gives you more time and space to concentrate on things that matter.
He spoke about the refrigerator I was like: Yaaasss Kyle!!!! When she took her shoes off I was like: Yaaasss Dr. Ramani!!! Some people are more organized, some are not. Im fine as long as I can find what Im looking for.
That’s the way to go
I wad a strange kid. All of my clothes were perfectly folded. Socks were rolled into pairs and ordered in my sock drawer based on length, color, texture. All of my things were placed perfectly on shelves. My toys were rarely played with and kept in their packaging because I wanted to keep them in pristine condition. They were organized in my toy chest and drawers based on type and purpose. I almost never let other kids or my sister play with my toys because I knew they wouldn’t be careful with them. I continued this habit until college when I finally found out I had OCD. Since being medicated, orginzation is no longer an obsession and I can live a normal life. My mother kept all of my toys and I gave them to my daughter.
Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly like Dr. Ramani more, I find out that her sock drawer looks like mine, and that she also wears unmatched socks. You rock, Doctor! 😊👍
If you disagree with Dr. Ramani, you most likely misunderstood her or have never suffered with OCPD! She just described one of my biggest life struggles and the only way I could get through it is let go, which in her analogy, means letting your socks be unmatched! When someone has this tendency, it's everything-- life standards etc. And when things aren't how you believe they should be, it causes severe mental distress and just unhappiness constantly. I'd love to learn more about this!!
Yeah, I’d love to have everything perfect, but that’s impossible. Time and energy are limited, so it’s a trade-off. What do we give up to be so put-together? Is it really worth it?
It’s strange; I feel as if I don’t know what’s right anymore. When I try to do something, I aim for perfection. It’s all or nothing. Either something is well-cleaned or it’s a mess. It can be very stressful and discouraging.
I am this way a bit about my workspace. I really just can’t think well with a lot of junk everywhere. I’m better since I had my kid. I let a lot of stuff go then, (a lot I had no choice about really), but when I have time and all that, I prefer stuff looking organized, fairly sparse and not cluttered and rather uniform. If I’m not working on it atm, I don’t even want to see any of it. Like I have to put it away until it’s time to work on it. It’s like overwhelm really.
Like for example, going into a Micael’s store. Omg. The eye gymnastics. The color and variety overload. I usually don’t go there tho. Ha ha. Good thing I’m not into crafts. Lmao. But yeah. It can really be a more serious issue when the pressure is on and you can’t leave home yet bcuz this or that isn’t tidy or fixed just so. It’s like I used to take forever getting ready bcuz my hair and outfit and all this had to be perfect (and I used to iron everything also).
@@goodenoughgirl8102 OMG...now I understand why arts and craft type things (as much as I love pottery, painting and making things)..also gives me massive anxiety!
Thank you!
And just when I thought I couldn’t love this woman any more...
For all the analytics I do with Dr Ramani and I really don’t have anything to back it up. This video is one of my favorites. I think because I was able to see her be her. And it was absolutely lovely.
I also wear mis-matched socks!!! Dr Ramani, I respect u more now! 😂😂😂😂
Me too. Do not care either.
I can't 😣
Same here! 😊🙌
I love both MK and Dr Ramani. I am minimalist and wearing mismatched Puma socks at the moment 😆
I understand what she's getting at. Life is about balance, and not about obsessively worrying over items or organization. I have one parent who is likely OCPD (rigid, perfectionistic, always harping on when a system is not logical or organized or not time efficient) and I have one parent who was raised by a hoarder and has very strong emotional attachments to objects and is disorganized and unable to let go of objects. I witness one parent's bad mood and criticism because the top shelf in the fridge is a condiment free-for-all, no order. And on the other hand, or in the other parent, the disorganized collecting and worry that "I might need that" or "So-and-so gave me that, so I can't use it. I have to treasure it." - all of the things give them joy, but simultaneously give them a lingering anxiety and stress. Anxiety for one is disorder and chaos; sparsity and lack is terror to the other, to the extent that anxiety from not having something is greater than the anxiety caused by clutter and social stigma.
I can see both sides, as the rigid parent is not joyful despite having well organized drawers and a mostly empty closet, but then the disorganized parent is struggling through items (or not motivated to do something because it requires wrestling through clutter). It would seem having less could be more joyful, but it is a matter of personality. Oddly enough, both parents struggle with "Let it go" but in different directions.
I actually appreciate and love this interview.
I for one, needed to organize my drawers and get them into order - mostly because I just bought a new, smaller dresser.
After studying the Konmari method, I (somewhat) mostly adopted her techniques and now everything is tidily in its place.
*However,* ... I don't want to become a slave to that, as just thinking about all the time involved is a stressful thought.
So far, I'm content with my initial new tidy space but I'm not going to stress over it.
I do like the Konmari method, but I also *really* like Dr. Ramani's take on things 🙌🏽👌🏽😊
I like to spend my time doing other, more meaningful things that bring *me* joy
🕊🙏🏽💖💛🧡💫✌🏽
Dr. Ramani IS MY HERO!!!! I have ashy legs and crazy out of control sock drawers too. Spending more than 2 minutes contemplating either one would NEVER bring me joy. I'd be pissed off that those are 2 minutes I wasted and I will never get them back. YAY for the soothing sight of ashy legs and unmatched socks
I used to obsessively clean out closets. I’d clean one out only to do it over and over again. I’d color coordinate everything and then a family member would mess it up and I’d feel absolutely destroyed. I had no joy in my life whatsoever.
Dr Ramani has made feel acceptance and pride for qualities of myself that I once felt ashamed of! My home is never ever perfect, and I used to feel horrible. It’s messy though because I always put quality time with kids first, life experiences, time outdoors, time with pets, many things! Do I like tidiness and order? Yes. Have I improved my decluttering and organization and motivation skills? Yes! However I’ve also come to embrace my mess because I am happy! Thank you for the millionth time Dr Ramani. You’ve brought me so much joy ;-)
I am a matching sock girl. Everything has a place. Mostly because I'm may be ADD or ADHD undiagnosed. It definitely helps to keep me and my brain organized!
Leesa Krall me too. I am diagnosed ADHD (except I won’t take Ritalin) and I think my OCPD helps me?
Spot On. Marie's method of decluttering is inspiring AND a "slippery slope". Minimalism is a strategy to clear the mind; gratitude and appreciation are tremendously freeing; recognition of all things as energetically connected is insightful and balancing; ritualism establishes habits, both good...... and potentially problematic for some people with predispositions to rigidity, anxiety, and perfectionism. Balance in all things. The question is, "CAN you leave the sock drawer in a mess.... ?" If not, you are on the downside of that slippery slope.
Oh thank you so much! All my friends are crazy about this Marie Kondo fad and I just don't get it. I can establish or follow rules when I need to, but this kind of technique goes way beyond practical considerations. To me, it feels like introducing rules and rigidity in whatever little area of freedom or fun I have left in my life. Which doesn't spark joy, for me. It feels super stressful. I feel uncomfortable in a place where everything is so tidy that you can't do anything any other way than one single "proper" way. Sure, I need to declutter every once in a while, spring clean. But I'm creative and intuitive, I need my freedom, I need a spread out visual mess to find my way, my things, my inspiration.
On another note, people tend to buy too many things for their needs nowadays, and encouraging them to throw stuff out the minute they don't like it anymore to make room is probably not going to help with the overconsumption problem.
I hear you. There is nothing joyful about that folding routine. I read the book when it first came out (before it grew legs) and thought it was a little creepy.
No one asks you to do the same. 🤔😀
No one forced u to do it...most people feel good..if u don't...jst don't do it.
I am good in a nice middle point between Marie Kondo and those unmatching socks. XD
When I moved I abroad, I took just my suitcase and began all over again buying things for my new home. I found that curated items make me happy. Not fixating on owning more stuff and just knowing where the things I really need and use are, gives me peace of mind. Now, I don't like to spend way too long cleaning and organizing, that's why the approach of having less works for me. Randomness stresses me out, so I do keep things stored by categories, and my socks match, but I don't dwell on the perfectly folded and ironed clothes.
The estimable Dr Ramani shines agin with her clarity and great advice - way to go Medcircle
Ha, this was so cute! I love seeing the humorous rapport between you both.
She's a darling and we love her.
I laughed so hard at this and I love you all for it! Thanks for making everyone feel human and relatable.
I feel as though the state of clutter in my home is a reflection of my cluttered thoughts the majority of the time. I find use in almost EVERYTHING and then will not allow myself the freedom to get rid of the "things". Also I might add that living in a state of construction for extended periods of time is a commitment that takes lots of mental will power and it sometimes takes daily reminders that I chose to DIY an old home instead of taking on a conventional mortgage as I myself am very unconventional. LOL Have a fab weekend guys XOXO
During my remodeling and updates, I was asked if my house was zoned "light industrial" 😀
I love that she shows her socks! Cute she's so right about not letting objects take over
Ironically I think she has overanalyzed this entire concept, and possibly unconsciously reacted defensively because Marie Kondo's vision collided with her "messy sock drawer"-lifestyle.
There are a lot more people that live their lives in unorganised chaos, than there are people with OCD tendencies that could possibly get worse by organising their home.
I actually developed OCD tendencies _because_ my mind, life and home was in chaos. Just having a method and reason to sort my socks for instance, made me feel much better. I've never had a more organised closet, and a less chaotic apartment has given me room to breathe.
I have also had a long standing problem with strong hoarding tendencies as well (I still do, to a lesser degree), but Marie Kondo inspired me to actually put away two garbage bags of clothes I didn't need. Even though it took me an entire year to do, I feel less inclined to keep everything I've ever owned, as well as thinking about what I actually buy.
omg dr. ramani, i love you even more now knowing your socks are mismatched. i have that same sock drawer and my socks NEVER match... don't know where the hell the matching sock ends up?!?!?!??
That lady Is awesome. And she has such a pleasant voice.
Dr Ramani is so real. Thank you. Having just gone Konmari on my life, I found it overwhelming, very laborious and soul destroying. Yes I have joy to a degree from being better organised but the process was way too stressful for my physical limitations. Not to be recommended for anyone with a physical or mental challenge. I will NEVER use this method again. Better to tackle one draw, cupboard, zone at a time and enjoy the experience. It's definitely a personal thing. Thanks again for this video, despite it's seeming unpopularity in the comments.
😁👍, love the socks, beautiful😍 too busy clearing out our minds to care about the superficial stuff.
Laughing my socks off 🤣 This is hilarious.! also Kyle adding his take on it, priceless ☺
What a great video, I too recognized the rigidity, obsessiveness of Marie Kondo. Bought her book years ago, didn't work for me. Hell, I have OCPD and have been busy organising my home for the last 15 years.. my home has always been cluttered, hoarding stuff and perfecting organising them. Total disaster story.
About three years ago, becoming more and more totally fed up with living in chaos, I got inspired by minimalism and saw what it would bring me. Eventually I got detached from all my stuff, wanted everything gone. But felt that this wasn't the best way also..
Came across this book 'Goodbye Things ' written by Fumio Sasaki. In it he shows photo's of his own former hoarded home, and how he got rid of stuff. It taught me a lot of stuff, and reminds me of what Ramani is saying; joy is found elsewhere, where our hearts connect to other beings, passion, etc.
I still have a long way to go in this, I keep on feeling highly chaotic and overwhelmed on a daily basis and postpone almost everything that brings joy. It's like I feel I don't deserve to have carefree moments and have fun, or something.
Hopefully my soon to start program of Mentalisation Based Therapy will help me deal with the underlying issues of anxiety/trauma.
Thanks for making it real. I think we can watch Maria Kondo and take away from her theories what works for us, but this was a useful bit of caution to not take it too far. Also, this will help us watch for those unhealthy thoughts that might encroach into our lives. As a life long "muddle maker" I wrestle daily with forming habits that make my home habitable for, not just me, but those who live in and visit my home. So, the less stuff I have the less time it takes to keep it habitable. It's just being practical.
Making It Through I honestly think Dr R is just reacting to her own internalized shame about not managing her own stuff. Not Marie’s fault she tells herself anyone who follows Marie is obsessive as a way to avoid facing the reality of her u managed stuff.
@@i.e.presents638 No, she actually has a valid point because she is addressing this specifically in regard to those with OCD and OCPD. As someone with OCD, MK’s methods are not difficult for me to overthink and turn into a “ritual,” which gradually get worse and more stressful over time. I lived with a similar ritual my first two years in college, and it eventually became a challenge to make it to class on time because everything had to be orderly in a very specific way. MK’s ideas are great for many, but not everyone.
I've been feeling what Dr. Ramani said here but was unable to properly articulate it until now so thank you and here's my rant continuing her points.
I love that Dr. Ramani talks foremost about how Marie's method brings about a new behavioral pattern for daily living, one that isn't a standard one size fits all. Regardless of intentions it's a bit irresponsible to present a new "healthy way of living" when that may not be the case for everyone. You talk to your doctor before taking new medicine so why would mental health "medicine" be any different?
When you're a counselor your main goal would be to give power/esteem back to the client because their life feels like it's no longer their own. Marie's method is to control the hell out of the things in your house, but when real life happens outside of your house (outside of your control) the coping skills are still nonexistent.
Point being: surface level Marie's method helps people organize their loads of crap. Deeper level it creates a greater attachment to things that "spark joy" by personalizing material things, which is a trait of hoarding.
Jaz Reardon This is outright falsehood. Marie’s method does not control the hell out of anything. There is no one size fits all to the Kondo method. You are both speaking from ignorance. I hope no one ever takes your life’s work and trashes it publicly without even bothering to read the book or watch the series. How dare you.
FALSE
@@i.e.presents638 I.e is right.I believe your a mess like your username poop?..
I'm closer to Dr. Ramani. In fact, since 2009, I've been organizing my home-- writing my receipts on paper for taxes, folding and putting away socks and laundry, going through old recordings and research papers, collating presskits--while doing aerobics. I'm happy to live as a work-in-progress. Love and hugs to Dr. Kondo and other OCD shrinks! Mwah!
I think some people here are taking what Dr. Ramani is saying too personally. I guess where she is concerned is for those of us that are Type A personality who strive for perfection and may go too far in trying to "be Marie Kondo". I love Marie Kondo, and I think she is helping people realize that we have a short life and should focus on things that make us happy.
The JOY of mismatched socks!! or the messy desk during exam week (okay the whole semester)
I think from a minimalist perspective keeping only what Sparks Joy is very gentle way of only keeping items you actually like or serve you. If you have something in your closet that does not spark Joy it means the item does not serve you or make you happy in any way and it simply does not belong there. Period. As a person with anxiety. Family of four people living in a small apartment. Marie Kondo gives me more sanity than anything. The folding method is not all that complex if you learn it and the clothes stand up making them easier to see and saves time.
Love this lady. Talk about comfortable with herself. If a person chooses to go down the super neat and tidy road, it can become an anxiety inducer. Best to be like the lady and put your energies into life and living rather than neatly folded socks. However, that being said, It would be nice if I could find a pair of matching socks... or even some socks.
Marie Kondo actually admitted to have a problem with organization. But there's value to her system but I've found that trying to adhere to her system has given me anxiety and I felt overwhelmed.
I started folding things around me; paper towels packed in my lunch by my husband, wash cloths in the break room at work. I now find folding things a little calming. I have some perfectly folded drawers and other stuff not so much. I am working on it. My fantasy is a beautiful organized accessible closet.
There's always going to be someone who takes things too far. That goes for anything in life. I personally have taken the parts of her method that I like, and discarded the rest. I'm glad that the doctor was respectful about her critique.
Omg...I definitely have been the sock folding/organizing type for a long time! It brings me joy to know it will be easy to have a together outfit when I open it & can find a matching pair in 60 seconds 😆
love these two....but the sock drawer talk is priceless. love you Dr R!
I feel I’ve come to a point in my laundry where I am efficient. I pair the socks and any odd ones stay in the basket and if their pair isn’t found in a week or so they find their way to the bin. I fold clothes straight out the drier so I don’t have to waste time ironing them. I put them away the same day in a kind of orderly way. So I separate winter and summer, tops and bottoms etc but definitely not colour coded. Clear out twice a year, at end of winter and summer and anything old or doesn’t fit goes to charity. I think finding basically anything that brings you joy to do is great if you can maintain it while living your life without it taking over
Dr Ramani, thank you for this!! I have had similar thoughts. I see a lot of young women proudly proclaiming their OCD and their perfect house.
I’m you Kyle. I spend Saturday morning organizing and putting stuff back in its place and then it’s me time! In the afternoon, NO CLEANING, NO ORGANIZING! Because whether we realize it or not organizing is work and our brains need a rest!
I like that she advocates a middle road between fanatical disorder and order.
Hoarding and the Anxiety of stuff is real. We attached so many emotions to "objects" I am in the process of purging and as I purge I bring up emotions and then I force myself to deal with them.
I have to agree. I recently stated that the obsession of keeping such control over managing your “ stuff” in straight lines and freaky obsession of baskets I think borders on unrealistic perfection. I am someone who purged three or four times a year well before it was an “ obsession “ . If I come home from work tired I will not obsess about items on my kitchen counter , bedroom dresser , or the lack of order of my sock draw. Self care is so much more important. I also practice a lighter version of minimalism but do not worship it like a religion. Life is sometimes messy and the best plans can unravel in a second be flexible. If your self worth and image are derived from straight lines I can't imagine what a number they must do on themselves when the lines are not exactly straight.
I love Dr. Ramani, brings me back to earth every time. Thank you for these amazing videos!
I absolutely LOVE and RESPECT Dr. Ramani💜💜💜
This was great! Laughed so hard! Love, love this video. Kyle you were so adorable. Even though you couldn’t handle Dr. Ramani’s mismatched sockets, your great. Love you both! ❤️
My Marie Kondo fix to the sock conundrum as a mom of 7 children?? I got rid of socks altogether and bought Crocs for everybody 😆 #nosocksbringmejoy
Thanks for the balanced perspective as always with Dr. Ramani along.
Marie Kondo has an old shirt that Sparks Joy ... Did you even read the book? She admits to not always fallowing her rituals perfectly when exhausted and drying off and putting away shampoo bottles keeps the mold and roaches away.... cleaning shoes after you wear them is also good for keeping things you own in tact longer so you have to work less hours to buy things. People assume so much about her that I don't appreciate.
Witch89 8989 exactly, getting so tired of people misinterpreting her work. It’s actually just click bait to make money off her hard work. I need to quit falling for it.🤦🏼♀️
@@stillwatersfarm8499 Thank you. She is so nice and tells people to use cardboard shoe boxes to organize... Wiping off shoes when you come home is not ocd at all if you want to keep your shoes longer
Same here, the way anti fans treat the concept of spark joy, as if you have to have a smile and intense positive feelings about it. In the book it's about being mindful so you can appreciate your items, including functional ones and how to remove space invaders without holding onto negative emotions about it.
Decluttering can be very cathartic and grounding, so I can respect the concern of it becoming an addictive obsesion when you're already prone to impulsive stress relief.
Admittedly I feel good completing chores (they're like mini daily goals) and I use the time to enjoy passive entertainment so I'm very biassed.
@@vanessalane8037 for sure I mean she says the Joy of having kids transcends having a perfectly clean home. She admits her kids make a mess and she cleans it all up in the evening it does not take as long because they don't have a lot of stuff. She is not as pretentious as people think she's not at all. I'm so mad anyone would say she's flirting with OCD. People with OCD wash their hands when the already washed them. Not fold things in thirds... It's not complex if you learned to make an oragami crane by age 7 ... I did and I'm not even Japanese.
@@vanessalane8037 and also your supposed to keep anything that Sparks Joy... And if you need all the socks you have to be content I think that counts as sparking joy. She never made a rule against socks being mix matched. Lol
Yes! I am a fairly tidy, organized person but the Marie Kondo approach has never completely jived with me and this video totally explains how I feel about it.
Thank you! The first time I saw the ritual folding I thought, yeah my that's my OCD Dad! Not a healthy mentally balanced man but an OCD Narcissist.
Only time this folding is handy is when packing a suit case. People with mismatched socks accomplish more in life than a perfect drawer.
Thank you! There's much more to life than museum-quality drawers!
Go Dr. Ramani! As long as how you relate to your "stuff" is helping your life more than hurting it, it's all good. If you'd rather organize your physical environment than anything else, go for it. But you can't also complain that you wish you were better at chess or had time to help make the world a better place, etc.. You made a choice, and it was your sock drawer.
Lol your term "bolus of socks" brought me joy 😂😂
The idea of thanking the items and clothes for their usefulness really helped me get rid of stuff I only thought about when I was going through stuff to get rid of.
Another thing that helped me was just telling myself I won't even remember that I had it (and this is true too. I have tried to remember what they were but I have forgotten them).
I also just buy the same black socks. Organizing them Marie's way has really helped me though. Before I couldn't even find the matches to my socks so I bought new ones.
At one point I had hundreds of socks. Now I have about 20 pairs and I put them in a neat little row. That brings me joy.
This was the BEST Dr. Rhamani interview ever!!
I loved this segment. I'm SOOOOO Dr. Ramani - in fact, for the best and most joyous part of my life, I absolutely refused to wear matching socks. I'd wear unmatched socks on purpose. I need to stop wearing matching socks and bring the joy back into my life.
I am definitely 'Dr. Ramani'.
Her attitude to unmatched socks probably translates into messy situations life throws us!
Kyle needs a sock intervention!
Dr. Ramani is a woman after my own heart!
I'm orderly in my own way. Marie Kondo's way is too inflexible for me. Love these videos! 🤗
I have OCPD and it's hard for me to let go of things that could have a use later, like foam from packaging and washed yogurt lids and the rolls from toilet paper. The stuff isn't garbage, but I hold onto it for a project that I haven't even defined yet. And I'm sure if I ever need foam or yogurt lids or cardboard rolls, there will be more nearby. I used to keep magazines that had articles I liked. Then I cut out the articles and put them in page protectors to save space. Then I realized I had multiple boxes of these that I NEVER went back and looked at. They do spark joy when I look at them, but I don't have occasion to look at them. I also have boxes full of postcards (used and new), boxes full of maps, and stuff like that. They have a use, but I'm not using them. I know I should get rid of them. And clothes - I save them in case I want to use the fabric for a project. I would need a storage unit for all the items that are potential craft supplies! I don't know why it's so hard for me to let them go.
I guess I am a mix of both of you. From the outside I like my apartment to look organized and clean, just don't open up any drawers. :-p
I am kinda the opposite, chaotic outsides can do.. but inside the smaller the things get the more orderly they get to be. So they have a home and I know where to find them. I guess am orderly when it’s productive
@@summydots Me too.
@@summydots Me, too! The living space you see, looks a bit chaotic. But the infrastructure is a thing of beauty. I know exactly where everything lives.
I'm sure Dr. Armani could shed some light on that. 🔆
This was hysterical. I’m somewhere in between but do not get excited about fridge organizing other than clean and moldy food caught early. Simple is good. Socks all white and durable for my lifestyle works for me. 💪🏼
I am just glad I am not the only one. I appreciate her for helping people get organized and appreciation of things we are blessed to have but she lost me at talking to the items.
I’m quite convinced this woman didn’t even read Marie Kondo book. She doesn’t get the concept of what Marie is saying, and actually really adverse to Marie. She’s just projecting the very worst case situation if someone gets really obsessed with Marie Kondo. Marie isn’t even going for perfection
30 seconds to dump my unmatched socks from dryer to draw definitely brings me joy😊
What a relief seeing a real, human being showing her (somewhat) unmatched socks in public. And does anybody doubt that Dr Ramani has a Life? We are not our stuff.
I love Marie kuando! Her method helped my life so much ... ! I have ocD
Now I don’t have to wonder what to wear it’s a way Simpler life.
I'm in Dr Raminis camp of "mismatched" socks! Life's too short to worry about your socks! She absolutely described my late MIL with how the house had to be top to bottom perfect, and my ex said she had relaxed her standards from when he was a kid!
Learning a new folding technique that took 20min to master that involves folding my clothes in thirds so they can be stored vertical so I can see them better and saves me time getting ready has been such hell on my nerves. Also taking a minute to see if they need repair and appreciating what I already have so I spend less on clothes... Very very damaging to my psyche to say the least LoL 😂😂😂
Absolutely love her she’s warm honest and really interesting to listen to.