This post is from three years ago, so we can asume that OP's child passed away and she's, hopefully, divorced of her ex husband and his family. My heart sank when I saw the date 😢
No one can ever be prepared for something like this. Especially with a child so young. But i find it absolutely despicable of the MIL to try and force themselves into the mess by forcing that trip and not even offering to help and at all ask how OP is doing. I truly wish the best for her and honestly hope she leaves this family behind and find someone who would truly get through hardships with her as a team rather than seperately
I want to know why MIL genuinely thought OP would willingly let her take her terminally ill daughter to Disneyland: tubes, medications, and all. I feel really bad for OP that her daughter is dying and her in-laws care more about where she'll be buried than the fact that she's dying, and that she really has to fight her own husband to get him to stop defending their entitlement. Everyone should be comforting their family, not causing more issues for them.
Because she was never closer to her granddaughter and never visited her, she probably thought that she was just resting in her bed like if she had a cold rather than seeing her with tubes, medications and all. That's why I think why grandmother didn't thought that OP was needed.
I genuinely cannot believe how selfish the in-laws are being, i think op got it right that they only see her as an incubator, because you don't treat people like that
Wow. MIL didn't care at all about the daughter's well being as well as being kind and thinking "wow my son is about to lose his whole world. Maybe I should be mindful of how my actions can affect others." MIL is despicable for making the OP have to stress about her dumb shit when she had much other important things to focus on. Would've said her parents, but it seems like OP's husband didn't try to tame his mom and just let OP deal with it. I hope both he and his mother live an awful life after Op leaves them. They truly deserve it. Also double shame the dad didn't do much for his daughters care while OP had 8 alarms for meds. He made this so much harder for OP.
I know she can’t leave him right now but in the future I hope she does. This isn’t healthy for her at all. This isn’t the time for her husband to allow the mil to cross boundaries
@ hopefully. I know it’s hard to leave during bad times but she already started to see that the situation wasn’t good for her at all. Or their daughter
Seeing peoples true colors when cancer comes for a loved one is so fucking true. My dad had a 3 year battle with cancer that he unfortunately lost over a year ago, it was the most difficult time in my life and I haven't had an easy life. My "best friend" was Casper the freaking ghost throughout all of it. She knew what was going on, I kept her updated on what was going on, but she didn't text back at all. She never asked how I was doing or how anyone else was doing. So I learned over that period that our friendship was completely one sided. She's still super close to my mom, like to the point that she calls her mom and is trying to convince her to move next door, but barely communicates with me at all. I hope OP gets through this with their heart intact and does whats best for them to make it through the grief process
I know the father was grieving in his own way, but I don't see him and OP staying married when the kid inevitably left this world (this post is 3 years old). It was not right of him to allow his mother to do that to either his daughter or his wife. Even a dying child deserves protection from the selfishness of others. It would be one thing if she wanted the trip herself, but she didn't: she just wanted her parents nearby. I hope both of them are living better lives away from each other
I've always known that it's really common for couples to get divorced after the death of a child, but it is interesting to hear the perspective of someone who is having those thoughts and feelings as they are unfolding.
I feel like in such times both people should make sacrifices andbe united, but clearly OP's partner isn't her partner and her in-laws are being selfish.
I feel horrible for OP, I hope that she was able to be there for her child and make her child’s end of life something beautiful. I just hope that she spent time with her daughter and made her happy, because at the end of the day OP will look back on those days and be happy that she did all she could while feeling what she felt and dealing with what she was dealing with. The first post made me so angry, MIL getting upset about not being allowed to do something like that as if this child isn’t in pain and as if this child isn’t quite literally slowly deteriorating (the child deserves to feel safe and happy surrounding by people and be in a safe environment) like Ma’am I understand you might feel guilty and sad but that’s not an excuse think about the child who’s health is deteriorating and try to make that child happy. I got unbelievably angry about the grave situation and their reason about the last name, that isn’t the thing you should be focusing on at the moment (it is a good idea to have the plot saved since you don’t know if and when those plots will be taken) plus why did they think they were entitled to have OP’s child be buried there? The fact that they got upset that OP didn’t bend to their wants about the burying, to me the child should be buried next to their mother, the fact that the husband did not stand with OP about these decisions. Just saying you should be coming together as a unit and supporting your wife, you have your pains and OP has her pains but at the end of the day you need to be there together put on brave face for their daughter and make sure that the daughter lives a comfortable time and is happy. Like people who are slowly passing away are terrified and deserve to feel comfort especially in this case where it’s a young child, at this moment the feelings you need to consider at the top is the child’s (in my opinion). After the passing and after the funeral you can cry your heart out, don’t do it in front of the child that will only terrify them and make them feel upset, you cry after everything, (in my eyes) you stay strong support the person who’s passing away even when the pass away put a brave face on smile until the end to show them “hey don’t worry about me I’m fine you can rest now”. Then after everything get grief counseling and process everything. Whoever reads this don’t take it to heart if you get offended this is only my opinion since I feel for OP, I once had to watch my grandmother slowly deteriorate (OP is stronger than me for having to go through that for however long she had gone through it), I was there for her for the months she was in and out of the hospital and then when she was finally put into hospice I stayed by her side never showing my fears and sadness over the situation instead I smiled and made her as comfortable as possible and made sure she saw that I would be fine and she had nothing to fear. I hope that after the years that have passed from when this had been posted that OP is grieving and is in a better place in life and is processing things. (I hope I was able to word this comment properly sorry if you misunderstand it.)
I feel bad for these parents. And the mother-in-law's Looney tunes... Op needs to understand that her husband's losing a daughter too... When you have a family member dying, people can become selfish. Man needs to go back on and tell the mother-in-law to piss off. And he needs to embrace his wife. A little bit more understanding, people grieve differently.. losing a child is probably the most god-awful thing anybody could go through. My heart goes out to their family. Instead of thinking about divorce. I understand your husband is and the same boat you're in. Just a little understanding is all.
I feel so bad for OP, not only do u have to watch ur daughter die but fight the father and his side of the family for her well being.
This post is from three years ago, so we can asume that OP's child passed away and she's, hopefully, divorced of her ex husband and his family. My heart sank when I saw the date 😢
this is why I love scaling stories, stories aren't just recent ones!
No one can ever be prepared for something like this. Especially with a child so young.
But i find it absolutely despicable of the MIL to try and force themselves into the mess by forcing that trip and not even offering to help and at all ask how OP is doing.
I truly wish the best for her and honestly hope she leaves this family behind and find someone who would truly get through hardships with her as a team rather than seperately
I want to know why MIL genuinely thought OP would willingly let her take her terminally ill daughter to Disneyland: tubes, medications, and all. I feel really bad for OP that her daughter is dying and her in-laws care more about where she'll be buried than the fact that she's dying, and that she really has to fight her own husband to get him to stop defending their entitlement. Everyone should be comforting their family, not causing more issues for them.
Because she was never closer to her granddaughter and never visited her, she probably thought that she was just resting in her bed like if she had a cold rather than seeing her with tubes, medications and all. That's why I think why grandmother didn't thought that OP was needed.
I genuinely cannot believe how selfish the in-laws are being, i think op got it right that they only see her as an incubator, because you don't treat people like that
Wow. MIL didn't care at all about the daughter's well being as well as being kind and thinking "wow my son is about to lose his whole world. Maybe I should be mindful of how my actions can affect others." MIL is despicable for making the OP have to stress about her dumb shit when she had much other important things to focus on. Would've said her parents, but it seems like OP's husband didn't try to tame his mom and just let OP deal with it. I hope both he and his mother live an awful life after Op leaves them. They truly deserve it. Also double shame the dad didn't do much for his daughters care while OP had 8 alarms for meds. He made this so much harder for OP.
I know she can’t leave him right now but in the future I hope she does. This isn’t healthy for her at all. This isn’t the time for her husband to allow the mil to cross boundaries
The post is 2 years old so hopefully she's left him by now
@ hopefully. I know it’s hard to leave during bad times but she already started to see that the situation wasn’t good for her at all. Or their daughter
Seeing peoples true colors when cancer comes for a loved one is so fucking true. My dad had a 3 year battle with cancer that he unfortunately lost over a year ago, it was the most difficult time in my life and I haven't had an easy life. My "best friend" was Casper the freaking ghost throughout all of it. She knew what was going on, I kept her updated on what was going on, but she didn't text back at all. She never asked how I was doing or how anyone else was doing. So I learned over that period that our friendship was completely one sided.
She's still super close to my mom, like to the point that she calls her mom and is trying to convince her to move next door, but barely communicates with me at all.
I hope OP gets through this with their heart intact and does whats best for them to make it through the grief process
I know the father was grieving in his own way, but I don't see him and OP staying married when the kid inevitably left this world (this post is 3 years old). It was not right of him to allow his mother to do that to either his daughter or his wife. Even a dying child deserves protection from the selfishness of others. It would be one thing if she wanted the trip herself, but she didn't: she just wanted her parents nearby.
I hope both of them are living better lives away from each other
i hope she divorced her husband.
I've always known that it's really common for couples to get divorced after the death of a child, but it is interesting to hear the perspective of someone who is having those thoughts and feelings as they are unfolding.
Oh my God, I feel so heartbroken for this woman.
This is insane
I feel like in such times both people should make sacrifices andbe united, but clearly OP's partner isn't her partner and her in-laws are being selfish.
I feel horrible for OP, I hope that she was able to be there for her child and make her child’s end of life something beautiful. I just hope that she spent time with her daughter and made her happy, because at the end of the day OP will look back on those days and be happy that she did all she could while feeling what she felt and dealing with what she was dealing with. The first post made me so angry, MIL getting upset about not being allowed to do something like that as if this child isn’t in pain and as if this child isn’t quite literally slowly deteriorating (the child deserves to feel safe and happy surrounding by people and be in a safe environment) like Ma’am I understand you might feel guilty and sad but that’s not an excuse think about the child who’s health is deteriorating and try to make that child happy. I got unbelievably angry about the grave situation and their reason about the last name, that isn’t the thing you should be focusing on at the moment (it is a good idea to have the plot saved since you don’t know if and when those plots will be taken) plus why did they think they were entitled to have OP’s child be buried there? The fact that they got upset that OP didn’t bend to their wants about the burying, to me the child should be buried next to their mother, the fact that the husband did not stand with OP about these decisions. Just saying you should be coming together as a unit and supporting your wife, you have your pains and OP has her pains but at the end of the day you need to be there together put on brave face for their daughter and make sure that the daughter lives a comfortable time and is happy. Like people who are slowly passing away are terrified and deserve to feel comfort especially in this case where it’s a young child, at this moment the feelings you need to consider at the top is the child’s (in my opinion). After the passing and after the funeral you can cry your heart out, don’t do it in front of the child that will only terrify them and make them feel upset, you cry after everything, (in my eyes) you stay strong support the person who’s passing away even when the pass away put a brave face on smile until the end to show them “hey don’t worry about me I’m fine you can rest now”. Then after everything get grief counseling and process everything. Whoever reads this don’t take it to heart if you get offended this is only my opinion since I feel for OP, I once had to watch my grandmother slowly deteriorate (OP is stronger than me for having to go through that for however long she had gone through it), I was there for her for the months she was in and out of the hospital and then when she was finally put into hospice I stayed by her side never showing my fears and sadness over the situation instead I smiled and made her as comfortable as possible and made sure she saw that I would be fine and she had nothing to fear. I hope that after the years that have passed from when this had been posted that OP is grieving and is in a better place in life and is processing things. (I hope I was able to word this comment properly sorry if you misunderstand it.)
op's husband is a red flag
Why would any sane person be on the mom’s side?💀
The mom? Or the mother in law? Cause I'm thinking the mom is taking care of her dying daughter, and the mother in law is being the troublesome bitch.
I’m making a prediction that the grandparents are trying to take the kid to some shiftier doctor that will try to remove the tumor
Sounds like I’m wrong oh wel
Hooray my fav time of the day :)
I feel bad for these parents. And the mother-in-law's Looney tunes...
Op needs to understand that her husband's losing a daughter too... When you have a family member dying, people can become selfish. Man needs to go back on and tell the mother-in-law to piss off. And he needs to embrace his wife. A little bit more understanding, people grieve differently.. losing a child is probably the most god-awful thing anybody could go through. My heart goes out to their family. Instead of thinking about divorce. I understand your husband is and the same boat you're in. Just a little understanding is all.