@@MJ-qb5ph trust me, after a while you will be happy they pushed you out. Focus on creating a good life for yourself, find good people to be friends with-this may take a while, and don’t every let toxic people back in your life in any major way. If you find yourself around them, just talk about the weather and exit as soon as possible. Live your life like you are loved and protected and nothing the abusers do will bring you down.
It feels so frustrating to me, to watch u talking so clearly about this pattern, u really teach me a lot, and that feels so true and good, so why can u not find this switch and change? Could loving and respecting yourself more help??
This is sooo true they are very boring but they want to control you as if your the one in a relationship but their single...but the main reason for the roommate living is due to the way they treat you and you'll pull away til you realize its more of a roommate situation more then a relationship...basicly we just raised the kids together and his bum junkie ass barely did that...
Don't wait for someone to make you happy make your own self happy you are responsible for your own actions they are responsible for their own actions these people are led by a evil spirit go on with your life they are grown people with a little child inside them if they don't have their way they throw temper tantrum they are not capable of love Jesus Christ in my life is showing me how to love myself physical and mental abuse is no joke stop allowing someone else to control your life sign Cynthia Smith heal before getting into another relationship
Totally feel this. I wasn’t perfect, I never was, but I did everything I could to make my narc ex gf happy. I freaked out a little in a bad way when Lee mentioned a Danielle at the beginning of this video.
Yup they are agents of darkness....why else will someone cause another so much pain and derive pleasure from it. Alot of people have gone through so much in life, myself included and I also had to grow up quick. I don't go around treating people like rubbish....
@@kikikiki3216 it's done for control and for power. Give you what they know you don't like and withhold what you need. Boundaries do not work with them.
Yep! Instead of going back and forth, screaming and cursing at 2a, sending 5 paragraphs of text messages, I got quiet. He couldn't take it. Got even angrier. Little did he know, his actions were strengthening me to prepare for my big exit. 14 days no contact!
My ex narc and I have 4 young kids (3,6,8,14) I go no contact for 2 weeks but I get triggered when he starts drama Abt seeing his kids or anything kid related. 9 days no contact as if today but triggered into sending 2 text messages. It's so hard for me.
“If they could do what you want without asking, that’s a big red flag. That’s how you know they were keeping it from you intentionally.” Best advice ever. Thank you.
Yes, mindblowing actually. I still don't get that it's my own mum doing this for all my life. Since a couple of months I am trying to figure out wich kinda contact would work for me (for some things she actually needs my help) and she senses my new attitude. Her behaviour is getting, let's say, interesting🤭🥴
You are the first narcissist that helped me on my healing journey i dont think u are a bad person i just hope you continue to heal and spreading awareness
Yesss!!! My ex narc bf always got a lot from me- homemade dinners, clean house, always traveling to him and rearranging my life for him. When I would ask for some nurturing in return, just like a back rub or to have more one on one time away from groups, it was like he knew I wanted it and actively withheld it. I asked him to play with my hair and just hold me when upset once. Once he learned I needed comfort in this way, he NEVER did it again. I started realizing that me asking for my needs was his signal to keep it from me. Sick!
I forgot to ask- what is the purpose for this? To learn what you need and then withhold it? Controlling me to stay? Is this a broken attachment style he uses? If it’s fear of being alone, this tactic will never work! Eventually, any lady would leave. Thoughts?
I hope you are doing well today! I'm 1 month out from being discarded, but my ex did the exact same. I'm thankful he is too prideful to contact me and too stubborn to hoover. It got really bad at the end. I'd cry and he'd just walk by me and look at me. I am so grateful to be out of that relationship 🙏
Same. My narc tainted every precious memory. After the birth of our daughter he called me a bitch for asking him to hold her while I slept for 20 minutes to recover from having a c section.
@@CBrown86 OMG that’s the most vile behavior ever! Not even the precious birth of his daughter and holding her could hold back his tongue and the dirt spilling out of it. He’s ROTTEN to the bone & demonic please get him outta your life and legally process the paper work for your daughter’s sake. Please take good care. God be with you both🌸
When I started pulling away he became more affectionate, using pet names and complimenting me more. But I didn’t fall for it bc I withdraw 1,000% when the person does something hurtful that makes me cry. *I may forget what you said but I will NEVER forget how you made me feel.*
Very true...they probably only in the same room with you for sex but if you dont have shit for them they will stay in one room and you'll be in another...their boring and drains your energy...its just better to be alone and get rid of their bum miserable narc ass!!!
Truth. Next month will be a year of no contact. She would try to tell me my living room was her room and j need to go to my room. The whole apt is mine that I paid for. Eventually she left cause she didn't like my boundaries. So glad I'm not drained every day from exhaustion and having no energy to argue with her. Roommates? I'd rather be alone than have a roommate like a narc. I need my energy and space as an empath.
All this time, I thought I might be a narcissist as well because I discarded them. The truth is, they forced me to do so. Thank you for opening my eyes.
My moment of freedom began 3/1/21 . Good golly Ms Molly. It was like Sleeping with the enemy. I had to be strategic in what I said and did in order to survive until the closing on my home. This was a 2 year journey of saving funds. I’m the happiest I have ever been.
My narcs other woman is drugs! He would ghost me for 2 or 3 days but it was in the crack house or somewhere he felt comfortable getting high sense I don't do drugs! Had good jobs and they would only last 1 to 3 days or 1 to 2 weeks! Just enough money to waste it all in the crack house because my money supply had become a no no! I could never get a return on my investment in this future faking relationship! He never followed through, never kept his word! 3 years of wasted time! He is still in the same position I met him in! Unbeknownst to me in the beginning was nowhere! It has been all a lie! I realized that I was only a strong financial resource!
Yup. I was love bombed intermittently. But no matter how many times he was 'nice' and behaving in a ' loving' way toward me, i was never emotionally back to the person i was. When he tried to hug or kiss me, i would push him off me or turn my head. He was being fake
I feel that girl. Once upon a time I loved him for who he was regardless of his flaws. Not anymore. I'm sick of the control. Love bombing when I try to leave, saying he would change with tears and all. I see through it all now. It's so unbearable I cannot bring myself to be intimate with him. The only reason he cares after the years is simply the lack of sexual contact with him. I'm working on escaping. Good luck to the others that are suffering
I just broke up with a narcissist 2 weeks ago. I've been with him for two years . I started watching RUclips videos on how to deal with narcissist and going no contact. I ran across one of your videos and begin to watch you. I'm so proud of you and what you're doing. It takes an Awesome man to admit these things and talk about them. keep up the good work you are helping a lot of people, especially me. Thank you.
How are you now? I have been with my BF for two years also. Yesterday….. was the last time for me. It has to be. Dying inside. Our anniversary is Christmas Day.😓
...My story , but I stayed with him. Limited affection. I'm waiting until I'm ready. I don't want to be calling him & I know I'm not ready to 100% ready to let it/ him go...I hate it but I'll do it when I'm ready!
@@shilohbreigh3591 ...Sorry for your pain. We all know what it's like! 😪 Jan.4 is our 2 year Anniversary. He most-likely doesn't remember but I'm ok with that!
My husband started going to therapy after I left him last time. But he doesn’t think he’s a narcissist. Since it’s his sessions and I’m not allowed to come, I know he’s feeding her only what he wants her to know. His side of things… painting himself as the the victim. That woman will never know what he’s done to me, how he treats me like garbage. Being around him makes me sick. I avoid him so hard, he probably questions his own existence. I have reached the point where I can’t afford financially to leave. But I don’t feel anything for him anymore. Now I don’t want the kisses or hugs or affection he has always denied me. The thought of him touching me now is repulsive.
A decent therapist would see through your partners BS. I entered therapy years ago for adduction and within two sessions he was gunning for certain members of my family. I thought he was nuts. It took me years to go no contact with those sick narcissts - he knew
I understand exactly about being repulsed. Toward the very end with my husband he would touch me and I would recoil. It felt like he was just grabbing me not showing affection. So when we exchanged our son he would try to touch me. I was clear with him more than once. Then finally I told him that while I prefer not to, but I will involve the police in the exchanges of our son. He never tried again! LOL
This is true. My ex husband would be cruel and I was the type to pull away. Overtime i detached more and more. When he felt it he put on the love bomb for a while. I fell for it until I was done.
Yes, first they wait till you have done some or most work of healing, only then they try to come back, so that if you take them back it hurts double when it's over again. You end up being hurt most of the time, either because they treat you badly, or cheat, or breadcrumb etc or discard. Not all at once, but nicely separated,so that it can hurt several times.... Congratulations, btw!
Me too, then I just got tired of not being 1st ever and also I told him to talk to his cousin about her starving her kids and he turned that around like I was talking about her.
Agree. My detachment as he became increasingly cruel, dismissive, and blatantly invalidating was noticed even by Mr. Insensitive. .. But when I'm done, I'm done.
You think he’s too helpful to be a narcissist right? I often wonder the same thing. But then again just because he’s “helping” us doesn’t mean he isn’t getting something out of it. You know narcs always have to get something out of everything they do. He is getting fame, money & attention. I guess it’s a fair trade because the NARC SURVIVOR COMMUNITY NEEDS THIS INFO.
The barrier that won’t let you communicate is your ego. This is accurate, he would start doing stuff I’ve been asking for forever, when he saw me pulling away. But things would go back to normal as soon as I went back to the same routine.
I believe he "sensed'"I was pulling away because he KNEW I was on to some lie or bad behavior. Just like a child who knows he's going to be found out. The difference is the child has sense enough to feel guilty. The Narcissist is just preparing to deflect his behavior back on her, making it her bad. Sometimes it's a temper tantrum, sometimes its blocking you or discarding you. Keep up the therapy so you stay a better person Lee.
My husband literally threw a tantrum last night left the house because I called him out on how many times he had told me to get the fuck out of his face when I’ve tried to talk to him now he just told me he’s done when I asked for a month break lol now he wants his rent money back like no
Eventually u get tired and don't care no more. That's how I feel after 17 years I don't even love him no more and we stay together and he tries to be nice and I just look at him
That's exactly how I feel after 30 years! I used to cry when I was younger when he said he was going to leave me but now I really wish he would! I'm tired of the drama, belittling, sarcastic barbs & all of his ridiculous, including the drinking & blasting music like he's 16. I'm just tired. No matter how much sleep I get, I'm tired. Tired of him. I don't even feel mean or guilty for saying it anymore. I think he knows it because he keeps taking about early retirement. He's 61. Him being at work is the only break I get. Before Covid, I was getting out, joining clubs, meeting people. Now I have to start all over & its harder than the 1st time. Thank goodness for an excellent therapist & RUclips, which gives me good talking points to bring up with him. Good luck to you sister!!
@@sahdogwrangler5594 Goodluck to you as well. I know the feeling, they be so nasty until you tell them you're done or they see that you dont care no more. Then they want to play nice. It's all a game. The loud music gets on my nerves as well, got to speed and blast loud music. I'm thinking about making me a RUclips page, everything I been through from cheating, beating, held hostage, breaking into my place, and all I got a story to tell, several. You notice you can do better, to be honest I do not even know what I seen in him. He is not even my type. He is not ugly, but not my type. His attitude and how he talks to other makes me hate him more. He been in and out of jail and prison his whole life, but this last bid created a monster. Everyone cut him off each time he go to jail but me. Yet, I get the most disrespect.
@@sahdogwrangler5594 its been 8 years dv and all and makes me feel guilty like i deserved to be pushed and even chocked before and alot of other ishh 😔
When you realize your own worth being discarded isn't a heartbreak it's emotional freedom because you know you deserve better than what they try to sell you, don't get bamboozled by a narc they don't deserve it.
I actually got a love boom when I greylocked him before going no contact. Am amazed how all this falls into place. It's even funny that narcissism has the same characterists no matter where you are in the world
It’s the same tactics and same scenarios regardless of the narc, they all have the same dark tactics, that’s why it’s easy to spot them once you’ve danced with one
I DO agree- wherever they are geographically from, whatever language they speak , whatever religion they practice - the behavioral stuff is all the SAME ! And the phrasing they use ..” ..I am sorry that you feel that way…” as a non apology. Gaslighting - lying to your FACE and denial of those same lies ( even with audiovisual evidence )… then making the fact that they lied YOUR fault… the eruptions of temper/ temper tantrum’s ( only when you are alone with the narc )… they seem to cut across every single cultural/ financial/ class/ religious/ “ racial “ / gender line … BUT the behaviors are same same from place to place and narc to narc …
Yup. She could tell. She used me to get into a new home and, once she got what she wanted, turned the evil up even more, which I didn't even know was possible. Something crucial happened, unbeknownst to her, that gave me the impetus to move away and refuse to move into the new place with. She tried to draw me back and I was becoming emotionally detached and distant, unresponsive to the games, with no intention of moving in. Things came to a peak after a concert where I cranked the music up so I couldn't hear her argue and yell, saying "I don't think we're gonna make it." I responded, "Oh no we will not!" She told me she was breaking up w/me and said, "But I still love you." I didn't return the sentiment. It was over. When I left and said goodbye to her dog the next morning, I had a deep sense of finality, knowing the 39 year story was over once and for all. I drove away saying to myself, "Now let the healing begin." That was it. Soon after, I ran into her brother-in-law and reflected that I used to think she was the gold standard, but now understand she's just fool's gold; that I was being called a "diamond in the rough" by a lump of coal; that I thought she was the prize, but now I know she's not even a good catch. Like he had said earlier, she thinks she's 10ft tall and bulletproof, but I got to see what a broken, toxic, dysfunctional person she really is, unhappy and angry, alcoholic and suicidal, like someone dead who hasn't passed away yet, physically beautiful but ugly and poisonous inside and deadly in every way.
You been in therapy for 4 years and your wife left you recently. I love that transparency as long as you are putting forth the effort and making changes that is what people don’t get!!!
Man the narc offered me a trip for myself and the kids. Anywhere we wanted to go. And was talking in a tone like we haven’t been going through hell. Later was like where we going have you decided. Because I am currently aware I laughed to myself and said nope. Never mentioned it again that shit will no longer work on me. I don’t feed into it anymore. Now I match his energy until I can financially move along.
Interesting. Mine got caught in a lie and he discarded me when I wouldn’t just go along with it. I haven’t spoke to that man since August 2019 and I refuse to reach out especially since he was the one preaching about loyalty trust honesty faithfulness etc etc when he got caught with a second cell phone. I guess he expected me to beg him and act an emotional fool. Nope not me. I’m sure he is with his new supply and its going well because I haven’t heard from him. He certainly won’t be hearing from me.
Trust me it’s not going as well as you may think with the new supply. I was a new supply once (unbeknownst to me)… however I discarded him 2 months in. I had, had enough in that short period of time~
I began texting like I don’t care. He noticed I didn’t feel same. Then I stopped calling him. It hurts not to be with him but it hurts even worse being with him.
My ex would purposely create arguments to have an excuse to go cheat. He would set it up exactly how you would describe and when I would say, who jump into a relationship the Very Next day with someone new unless they were already talking and he would still say, well we were broken up. I knew better then and I know even more now. I just regret even giving the benefit of the doubt to someone capable of doing the most vile and sickening to another human being. They don’t care or think about if they catch an STD from all the people they pick up online, they will blame you for it and swear you the one gave it to them, that’s how low down they can get.
This is exactly what I'm going through. I sit quietly, scared to say anything because he will just blow up, start cussing, get mad and storm out. Then cheat and say well we were in a bad spot. Meanwhile I send 10 texts and he sends 1. It's absolutely insanity
I feel myself losing interest I don't even feel like dealing with him fake being nice when he does realize I don't like him anymore. Can you talk about how narcs live double .. or even triple lives?
Totally feeling when you said being in love with their potential, not who they REALLY are. In order to process it I got to where I'd refer to him as 'Tom' and then his given name to split the Heckle Hyde experience. But I came back so many times for the potential. Sad to know what someone could be all the time, but chooses not to be.
I called mine mr jeckyl and dr hyde just tonight. Verbally abuse me then stay out all weekend and missed work after saying he'd be there at 2PM. Making me look bad as 'THE MANAGER' then being angry and nasty to me. Felt entitled so he tried to take my car when I called him on it it yelled and cursed he would bring it back. Once asleep I don't even care to wake him for work to redeem as I don't know WHO will wake up 🤫😓
“If you’ve made your mind up to leave, just go ahead and leave”. Thank you for this. It’s been a couple weeks since we split and I go back and forth in my head. The switch definitely flipped one day. This is rough and painful. Thank you so much for your videos, they have helped a lot.
Something I've been considering the past couple months while trying to work out leaving; when I am old and look back on my life, will I be thinking "why the hell did I stay that long?" Or "you should have tried harder to work out your marriage." See, what kept me here this long, besides him acting how I needed him to every time I left, was the fear that I would regret "giving up". Now I know for certain that if I were at the end of my life looking back I would only be telling myself not to waste so many years on him.
Wow what made you reach this conclusion and are you gonna go forward with it? It can feel like a double bind sometimes because of the confusion they induce plus the trauma bond itself so kudos to you for deciding💕
Solidarity 👊 In my own case, it has changed from thinking that I should stay and work harder to I've stayed too long and it is now foolish and dangerous to stay.
No one cares if narcissist cheat. Why would anyone care if a dysfunctional human being cheats? WHY? The only thing a normal human being needs to do is pray for the narcissists and their next pray. My point is that he or she is unregulated in a very very dysfunctional way and the message should be that no one should care what they do. If one of the apples in the bunch is rotten what do you do? You throw it away and keep it moving.
Totally agree with the prayers and keeping it moving. Praying for someone who treats you badly is very hard, but it extremely necessary for the narcs and their families and victims! 💯🎯
Exactly and it's really hard to pray for someone who hurted us but I'd rather pray for him than breaking the No contact. Conctating him will only make me feel bad and that would not help him to become a better person anyway.
You are making me relive my life! OMG! When we sat down to discuss our breakup, then he wanted to talk about how different things will be. Please. I sat pretended to listen and agree but secretly packed up and when he went to bed, boom, got the kids and left him. I learned to be wise. Keep my mouth close, plan and dash. That’s wasn’t cruel. I was saving my children and me. I am surprised you are able to give others the peep behind the “curtain”.
Make a video about the power of the word "No". After the love bombing phase was settling, I quickly realized that everything was one-sided again and I was putting in all the effort, obedience, submissive, making my self small for him and paying for EVERYTHING! So, once I started saying no about certain things/expectations...I instantly became the problem. And, when he couldn't control me enough to care about his reactions or his feelings lol he wanted us to take a break lol. "You don't like me anymore and I'm not feeling you either". - per my narc. All because I was setting boundaries lol. He hasn't actually discarded me, he was trying to get a reaction out of me smh. I stayed away for a couple days and he came looking for me lol. They don't like it when you play their game better then them lol. These people are literally self entitled, tantrum throwing children. Lol.
it’s the tantrum… I’ve never felt so conflicted about my opinion and morals in my life.. I could even budget okayyyyy . I had to play broookkkeeee.. damn near starve only person that ate was my daughter .. frfr any sign of money the game is being played and I’m tired of it.. frfr
@@aiichadejanee Girl yes! One day around 12 noon he was like, aren't you hungry? I was like, yea what are you gonna buy for us to eat cuz I'm not paying this time or you can cook for us babe. Long story short, he copped an attitude and we didn't eat ALLLLL day and I was standing my ground! I wasn't letting up for nothing. Matter of fact, I left at about 8pm, hit the drive thru lol and went tf on to my own damn house. F HIM! He prob was waiting for me to leave so he wouldn't have to pay for me.
@@elles4115 ayeeee you played it EXACTLY how you were supposed to… hahaha the nerve of the attitude at it wanting to pay or cook… REAL men would’ve like you know what babe your right. Or would’ve simply cooked what ya fucking liked w/o asking lol like the NERVE.. it’s so blatant that you almost don’t believe it
@@elles4115 the fact that I had to hide food … I was bishhh it’s time to goooooooooooo… I don’t play bout my food IMA LEO.. we don’t play bout DAT food ya hear meee lol long story short I’ve lost so much weight ppl questioning my hobbies … 😂😂😂😂 love supposed to plump you up a lil .. smh
@@aiichadejanee not you lost some weight from not eating and hiding food lol. But I can see how tho! Yea it's definitely time to go! I went two months once then another time four months NC. And, a couple weeks here and there. But, trust and know and I'm getting stronger and stronger every time. Soon he'll just a distant memory and I can't wait!
Yes, the last part is so spot on. Thank you for sharing. My ex narc pushed me away so he was not the one who ended the relationship. He just didn't want to take responsibility. It was already clear he wanted it to end, by doing things in such an obvious way behind my back. When you see it, you see it. Feeling blessed I saw it on time, by calmly watching the 'relationship' develop over 6 months. Even though he already wanted to marry and get children from week 1. In this period of time God helped me and showed me the path. Praying to Allah for guidance, and reciting the Istikhara Dua. Wishing a lot of strength for everyone going through this.
Right again. I was standing in the kitchen and he came up behind me and touched me. I tensed up and when I saw the look on his face I knew he knew I knew he was a monster!
Haven't seen my ex narc since March and it has been pure bliss. Sunday I spotted him playing football and carried on with my life some feet away. When he spotted me he tried to hide ... like this fool tried to hide behind a pole and I could see him watching me. I didn't even think about what that could be about since I was too busy enjoying myself at practice. What is wrong with these demons?
My biggest question is that why do narcissist get into relationships when they are happy being alone by themselves! They are too hurtful and internationally so too. All the love bombing, silence treatments, bursts of anger over nothing, lies etc.
It’s so scary… all I did was go from a financial abusing narcissist to meeting an emotional abusing narcissist.I just don’t want anyone and have to want myself
@@MentalHealness , i believe, especially because of your honesty, we are all growing here. Nothing like bouncing our thoughts off of someone else instead of just keeping them inside our own heads. There's something about us saying our thoughts outloud to another person, that helps us hear ourselves through a different lens.
Protect our peace and joy at all times. Let that Narc fight his own battle. Don’t argue with them and if they want to leave let them leave. If you want to leave leave but ignoring them and finding your own space works. Give them to God and get your life back. If they come at you , then you checked them right then and there and get the heck away from them and go to Dairy Queen and enjoy your some ice cream. PROTECT YOUR PEACE. I love this guy’s transparency and thank you for schooling us on a true Narc
I have been lovebombed so much, I see the pattern and I know when it’s coming. I don’t know if it’s one of the knowing is half the battle ideology or not. But once your eyes are open, it’s time to go.
I love that he shares some of his experiences, i have a cousin that i distanced myself from, a Narcissist is very manipulative , you don't know when they will pop off over the smallest thing. Bravo to this gentleman for getting therapy. We all have issues but we have to want help and persue it.
You have a lot of courage to do this. This is exactly what I experienced. It is very painful . This person lacks the ability to see what they are doing is a problem. Half of the issue to wellness is having an awareness. Thank You
Well Well it is Well with our Soul they got some Silver some gold listen ha We were able to rise took up our bed and walk Free at last Free at last Thank God almighty we are Free Converted from heart troubles And Heart attacks They can keep them take it with them loose me take their dirty nasty unclean hands off my heart it is so funny how they think they has the cleanest hands the racoon's all the racoon's symptoms We must gave Jesus Praise Children he delivered us out the mouths of roaring lions UNBELIEVABLE The reprobate d Minds Turn it over to JESUS We had to go too it for more Awakening Mind Soul Body & Holy Spirit we have so much LOVE to gave LOVE Conquered them we escaped the roaring lying lions den they roar and they roar they could not touch us we are delivered UP Not devoured Up
Now that you know what a narcissist is it's time for you to move on stop allowing yourself to be a victim by staying in a toxic relationship these people have a evil spirit Jesus Christ in my life is showing me how to love myself Jesus Christ is healing me of physical and mental abuse been in 3 toxic relationship so I think I know what I am talking about love you and get on with your life stop waiting on someone else to make you happy make your own self happy sign Cynthia Smith
I’m so glad I came across your videos. I’m in an online FB group for overcoming narcissistic abuse for women. A woman posted trying to say narcissists could change, most of us disagreed with her and a woman had posted one of your videos and that’s how I found you on TikTok and now here. It’s very helpful to hear from a diagnosed narcissist, not only does it help me understand the narcissist in my life (on again/off again boyfriend and father of my children) and why he does what he does and how he works but it also validated what I’ve been going through cause I know I’m not crazy or imagining these things. I commend you for trying and going to therapy and doing what you can to create a platform to help others suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and the victims/survivors of narcissistic abuse. And yes love bombing happens in sprinkles throughout the relationship, it’s not just in the beginning.
To me it's like candy bar sizes. So there's the regular size, the King Size and the Fun Size (The small ones that you sneak out of your kid's Halloween candy every year.) In the beginning it's like the King-Size Love Bomb... and then later on it's more like the fun-sized Love Bombs. Kind of scattered around after they came flying out of a pinata. They expect you to be all running around trying to get all the love bombs you can before other people get em... basically like a minefield of love bombs laying all over the yard.
The sprinkles are typically 15 and 20th year anniversary with a piece of jewelry that is not wanted or needed. Some intimacy and quality time on occasion would have been nice and it costs nothing but a little time.
@@eileenfuentes6975 That's a great way to describe it and it's not just partners who do it, because I've experienced it with family members and so-called friends! I tend to give people too many compliments, so want to cut back, even though they're genuine. 😊
Had to let go of a friend I loved like a brother of 30 years. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2 years ago and this "friend" went out of his way to cause drama. Gotta look out for me and it was a relief to not have all the unnecessary, constant drama. Glad you had the self reflection to realize you needed help. Godspeed on your recovery.
Everything you said about how the next wife gets everything you wanted has been my story. And the fact that they do everything that is possible to drive you away so they can blame the entire breakup on you, is my answer to what really happened. My ex-husband was and is cunning. He is very intelligent and has had great financial success. But I wonder how smart the narcissist is if their only means of promotion is at the expense of others. We all need a Saviour, but God help the one who believes they are their own saviour.
He has also been telling me to leave for years if I'm not happy. And then once I finally got fed up and tried to separate he ended up pulling me back promising to change.
Chelsi Jacques I hope you can manage to leave before too many more years go by! I do realise that it's much easier said than done though. I'm in my 60s now and wasted many years on people who weren't able to love me, including female friends. I wish I could turn back the time, yet that's not possible. I might get to experience genuine love in the future and I'm learning to love myself in the meantime, which is the main thing. ❤
Yep. Mine would always tell me to move on, he didn’t want me & I’m not his type yet he keeps trying to pull me back in even though he most likely has someone new
So unusual for a narcissist to be self aware, thank you for your valuable insight! Do you think you are truly still a narcissist ? You have so much understanding of your past behaviors. You are obviously an intelligent guy and seem to be on the path of healing yourself . I commend you for what you are doing! You have found a real life purpose! ❤
So true, when he realised I'm pulling away early this year, suddenly he takes us on the family trip I've been asking for for years, he also bought me an expensive car and is pressuring me to sell my old car. I'm still quietly planning my exit, he has been such an awful husband to me and I simply cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with him
I was with my narc ex for 4.5 years 🙄 I didn't know much about narcissists until after we split up, only then did I start on my journey of recovery 💪 I'm still recovering now and I split up with him 2.5 years ago!! I really wish I was as educated then as I am now. I'm still learning, and it's thanks to people like yourself, that are using social media as a platform to educate and enlighten us 🙏 Thank you 🙌
It was 6 years in, now almost 3 years out and it’s still difficult. My mother was also a npd person. I still wake up with horrible thoughts and memories of them both. BUT last year, he had a stroke and refused treatment. He can’t walk or talk. It’s a comfort knowing he can’t hurt anyone else. And my mom passed. I was relieved when she died. I’m still recovering from them both.
@@ednasmith4545 Hi Edna 👋 Aw, its just terrible hun. I'm sorry to hear your story. Thank you for sharing. Noone can understand the devastating affects narcissistic abuse has on you unless they have suffered it themselves. All we can do is stay strong and keep shining ❤
Holy sh!t!! This is EXACTLY what happened to me with this last narcissistic situationship! I held onto my feelings/strength. I knew it was a game! Ty for the validation.
Not less than. I knew I was more than enough and it was HIS abuse b's ways. His last push pull was the BLESSING for me. I don't feel anything and not remotely attracted to him anymore. He can have all the women in his pocket cause I know the ending and his soul has been sold. My vibe is way above ALL of this and yes I stand in the TRUTH. God's TRUTH
@@md-mx5zb thank you! I know you're right it is just so difficult. I know I'm way better than that and I deserve better. Him tearing me down every day doesn't help. I trust and love God. I pray everyday that He will get me through this.
@@maddie8153 I don't know your situation if you live together kids ECT but I do know this. It is a insidious abuse deception at its core and ultimately to destroy you destroy your spirit because they hate that in you. They use you to project their inner self hate onto you. Mind fks games cheating the threatening to leave every other week always protecting their phone w their " supply" rotating women like fk cattle. You have to leave to save yourself. Must go no contact and work on you to get out of his web. You are in a fog of lies and it won't lift until you get out of the lies and abuse. Watch channels - Tea on NPD. RC Blake's is another good one. Read 2 Timothy chap 3. 7 sins GOD hates. ALL NPD character traits God despise. Get to work on loving YOURSELF , heal your own inner wounds and cut the soul ties of abuse. You know now WHO he really is. He is pure evil with intent and calculated ways in his twisted head to hurt you - so get out of that darkness 💝 and run to HIS truth and light !
@@md-mx5zb yes I know all that but I can't accept it. I still see the goodness in him. I still see his pain. I know I'm an empath and the guilt and sympathy I feel for him is constant. It's so hard to accept it is all a lie because it was so very real to me. I keep praying for God to let me see it so I can accept it and get out and I know it sounds crazy but my mind just can't see it even though I know it.. I've never loved someone so much in my life. He is definitely covert NPD without a doubt. He fits every single sign and symptom I mean every single detail. I am a recovering addict I've been clean for almost 8 years and trust me when I say the trauma bond is just as real of an addiction as any drug. I fought for my life and came out of active addiction for over 15 years... and believe me he reminds me of who I used to be every single chance he gets instead of being proud of me and supporting me. I lived in that self-hatred for so long finally came out of it to fall into a narcissistic relationship. I just wish I could get a break... he takes me right back to feeling the same way I felt during my addiction... worthless, useless, small, weak, and hating myself because I know I shouldn't tolerate his abuse. Funny thing is I don't have kids with him. He doesn't live with me anymore. There is absolutely nothing to keep with him. I don't depend on him financially or any other way. He knows that and I think it drives him crazy. I see that sweet loving caring side of him and it is so hard for me to believe that is fake and he so full of hatred but I see that evil side too. I know I need to get out before he completely destroys my spirit and thank God I haven't relapsed. Thank you very much. I will definitely look up those verses. I need all the help I can get. I pray everyday that God will help me break free from this bond that I have with him. It's this vicious circle that just goes round and around. It is so nice to know that I'm not alone and that it is actually normal to be feeling the way I'm feeling. Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it and it really helps to know there is light on the other side. I'm so happy for you and pray that soon I will be able to say the same thing.
Thanks for sharing this stuff. It’s so weird that they are all so similar. I guess it’s the lack of empathy. Narcissists probably think us with empathy are weird too.
"And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." - Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
Narcissist are the evil empath. Like I said in another video, I could feel him and vice versa. I think he felt me when I cut the soul tie/ trauma bond bc about a week later I felt the sadness I felt when he left a year and a half prior. Its like I had to deal with the pain twice. People think I am crazy. He started ringing my phone off the hook two weeks later. I guess he understands I set boundaries and I had options unlike he thought.
I think Lee, you are much more thoughtful then most narcs. Most narcs don't come to self realization of their own issues. Their manipulative defense mechanisms keep them from it. Most just want to use the people in their lives. HD Tudor says some things opposite of what you do. He says 2% of narcs know who they are but the rest just react out of their narcissism.
This hurts to hear because I’m still processing my experience dealing with a person that has this disorder (I ended it for the umpteenth time days ago). It hurts in the way that will help me heal though. Thank you for your content.
This is WAAAAAY too complicated to decipher. I am so glad you are telling us these things. I now know that I was not crazy in my former relationships. Why are people LIKE this?
These ppl are sick. Like why is it such a goal to make others around them so unhappy. Like seriously they must hate happiness. From coming out an relationship like this, you really be thinking these ppl care about you. That's only reason I stayed as long as I did. Gr8ful for waking up.
That’s a powerful message and testimony Lee. Your messages have been helping me through a very unhealthy relationship. This person hurt me tremendously, and I’m in a really low place emotionally right now. God bless and thank you for sharing these important messages and insights.
I found this yesterday. I've binge watched your channel. Been with my narc a little over 5 yrs now. I need help leaving. Or getting him to leave. He'll leave on his own if it'll hurt me but when I tell him to go it's ignored literally like I said nothing at all or he will rage & I'll react & then love bomb. I love can't lie but I'm literally going crazy. I've reacted in ways I don't even recognize myself. Thought as an empath I could make it work/figure it out but now I just want out
Narcs are crazy-making, that's why you feel like you're going crazy. Because they don't respond back to you the way a normal person does. There IS no answer, that's why you can't find one. The only answer is Leave.
Great video. All true. It was obvious, over time, the man I was talking to and I were not compatible. He is and always will be special to me. I understand him and do not judge him. I wish him the best. I hope that if he chooses to change his life, as he says he does, that he will succeed.
Before I knew my ex husband was a narc, I was telling people that every time I start to move on from him he could sense it. When I would start to feel myself rising up, within a week I would get a msg or an email. Then it brought me back down again and I would feel low. Six sense is right, we were not in the same house. On the other hand I can feel when he is pulling away. All energy..
My narcs literally got me pregnant purposely when I had just gotten a job after 15yrs of being a housewife just to get me to stay at home...these people have a very sick mind I have dealt with 2 of them in the last 23yrs back to back not making that mistake a third time I’ve gained too much knowledge in the last two years to make that mistake trice
Thank you for bringing love, light, and laughter to such a dark and painful topic. Please, continue to share your self-work, healing, and experience with the world. It's much needed and appreciated. 🙏❤😄🙌
He told me he's sorry he lied that he had given me his heart, and then stated, "he never loved anyone unconditionally, not even his brother that recently died! "
Yeah I've experienced this and when the love bombing isn't effective he will create an argument with me then accuse me of never loving him etc and start being abusive.
OMG! My suspected NPD decided he wanted to be an Israelite! I was like “NO” immediately! He was in direct connection with an Israelite, and I felt shaken in my spirit. It was not long lived. He slowly, but surely, turned back to his TRUE spirit. AND, yes, he “claims” he has done for others he did not do for me. I don’t stalk his social media for the better of my mental health. BUT his words still stress me. I need to learn that a narcissist is a WHOLE ILLUSION! Thank you for your transparency, vulnerability, and humility! This message is well received! Thank you, again!
This was your most profound video for me. Yet, anyway. Every week or so I find yet another one that resonates so deeply with me. They're all unbelievably great, though. I really appreciate your time and patience in doing all of these videos and giving tools to anyone that is ready to make some positive changes in their life.
I am so happy to have found your channel. This really is my relationship with my husband. Almost everything you said in this video has happened or been said to me by him. Especially the part where when we separated (because I thought that was going to help him realize he was going to lose his family) he said I chose to leave and did I really think he was going cry and wait on me. He was already talking to two married females and one who had recently separated. He had his backs up already lined up.
Your so right when you come out of this storm, your not the same person that was in the storm. Your a better person, stronger, more determined to live your best life for you and you alone. Walk away from the narcissists and your best days are ahead for you. They never loved you like you loved them. You were a need for them, they supply or slave. Get out and stay out. I did After 35 years and so can you.
Love pops like those firecrackers you throw on the ground. Snappers is what it's called. 😂
Hhahaha good one
a.k.a. breadcrumbing
You said it, brother!
Very true
PERIODT
When you understand how Narcs work, being discarded is a blessing 😃
Really? I thought I must be doing something wrong. My whole family and to work colleagues were my narcs … none hoovered me
@@MJ-qb5ph trust me, after a while you will be happy they pushed you out. Focus on creating a good life for yourself, find good people to be friends with-this may take a while, and don’t every let toxic people back in your life in any major way. If you find yourself around them, just talk about the weather and exit as soon as possible. Live your life like you are loved and protected and nothing the abusers do will bring you down.
@@JoyFay Thank you. Bless
A superblessing
It feels so frustrating to me, to watch u talking so clearly about this pattern, u really teach me a lot, and that feels so true and good, so why can u not find this switch and change?
Could loving and respecting yourself more help??
Living like roommates is a typical narcissistic relationship
It definitely is
Why is that ???
Genuinely curious ..
Why is that??
Thought It was just me ! Literally cold, dry, no family activities, nothing fun with our child....boring boring boring! It's just sad .
This is sooo true they are very boring but they want to control you as if your the one in a relationship but their single...but the main reason for the roommate living is due to the way they treat you and you'll pull away til you realize its more of a roommate situation more then a relationship...basicly we just raised the kids together and his bum junkie ass barely did that...
"They knew how to make you happy, but deliberately did not do it." 😯 I felt that.
Truth
Yeh. It hurts.
Don't wait for someone to make you happy make your own self happy you are responsible for your own actions they are responsible for their own actions these people are led by a evil spirit go on with your life they are grown people with a little child inside them if they don't have their way they throw temper tantrum they are not capable of love Jesus Christ in my life is showing me how to love myself physical and mental abuse is no joke stop allowing someone else to control your life sign Cynthia Smith heal before getting into another relationship
Totally feel this. I wasn’t perfect, I never was, but I did everything I could to make my narc ex gf happy. I freaked out a little in a bad way when Lee mentioned a Danielle at the beginning of this video.
Can feel it too
This is why the love language is dangerous with the narcissist. They want to know what you need so they can withhold it from you.
🎯🎯
Yup they are agents of darkness....why else will someone cause another so much pain and derive pleasure from it. Alot of people have gone through so much in life, myself included and I also had to grow up quick. I don't go around treating people like rubbish....
@@kikikiki3216 it's done for control and for power. Give you what they know you don't like and withhold what you need. Boundaries do not work with them.
@@casper8662 True... I believe they should be on there own or with their own kind..
Soooooooooooooo true
Yep! Instead of going back and forth, screaming and cursing at 2a, sending 5 paragraphs of text messages, I got quiet. He couldn't take it. Got even angrier. Little did he know, his actions were strengthening me to prepare for my big exit. 14 days no contact!
How’s the no contact going? 20 weeks today for me!
I really needed to hear this❤
My ex narc and I have 4 young kids (3,6,8,14) I go no contact for 2 weeks but I get triggered when he starts drama Abt seeing his kids or anything kid related. 9 days no contact as if today but triggered into sending 2 text messages. It's so hard for me.
“If they could do what you want without asking, that’s a big red flag. That’s how you know they were keeping it from you intentionally.” Best advice ever. Thank you.
you're welcome
Yes, mindblowing actually. I still don't get that it's my own mum doing this for all my life. Since a couple of months I am trying to figure out wich kinda contact would work for me (for some things she actually needs my help) and she senses my new attitude. Her behaviour is getting, let's say, interesting🤭🥴
@@Picca65 good luck to you!
@@capoeiristachik1 thanks 😀
Playing stupid about obvious human decency.
You are the first narcissist that helped me on my healing journey i dont think u are a bad person i just hope you continue to heal and spreading awareness
Yesss!!! My ex narc bf always got a lot from me- homemade dinners, clean house, always traveling to him and rearranging my life for him. When I would ask for some nurturing in return, just like a back rub or to have more one on one time away from groups, it was like he knew I wanted it and actively withheld it. I asked him to play with my hair and just hold me when upset once. Once he learned I needed comfort in this way, he NEVER did it again. I started realizing that me asking for my needs was his signal to keep it from me. Sick!
I forgot to ask- what is the purpose for this? To learn what you need and then withhold it? Controlling me to stay? Is this a broken attachment style he uses? If it’s fear of being alone, this tactic will never work! Eventually, any lady would leave. Thoughts?
I agree 💯 It's quite sickening and I hate it so much 😢
I hope you are doing well today! I'm 1 month out from being discarded, but my ex did the exact same. I'm thankful he is too prideful to contact me and too stubborn to hoover. It got really bad at the end. I'd cry and he'd just walk by me and look at me. I am so grateful to be out of that relationship 🙏
They withhold bc they're cruel
Love bombing happens off and on throughout the relationship. I experienced it 🥺 He ruined every moment that should have been good.
It’s heartbreaking because the Narc comes back around only to intentionally* not bring happiness into the relationship.
Yes.. ruined every good moment. And made bad moments even worse.
@@BrendaBaBoom ain’t that the truth!!
Same. My narc tainted every precious memory. After the birth of our daughter he called me a bitch for asking him to hold her while I slept for 20 minutes to recover from having a c section.
@@CBrown86 OMG that’s the most vile behavior ever! Not even the precious birth of his daughter and holding her could hold back his tongue and the dirt spilling out of it. He’s ROTTEN to the bone & demonic please get him outta your life and legally process the paper work for your daughter’s sake. Please take good care. God be with you both🌸
When I started pulling away he became more affectionate, using pet names and complimenting me more. But I didn’t fall for it bc I withdraw 1,000% when the person does something hurtful that makes me cry. *I may forget what you said but I will NEVER forget how you made me feel.*
🎯🎯🎯🎯
That's right Nala🎉🎉🎉
I wish i had the strength to withdraw.... its so hard when u love them so much. I know what i need to do but just cannot do it 😢
I pray for your strength
@@rachealwilliams2387 pray🫶❤️ god hear you and gonna answer your prayers good u had discernment on this ❤️💯
When an empath lives w a narc it is a roommate it is not a loving real relationship
Omg soooi true!
Dang.
Very true...they probably only in the same room with you for sex but if you dont have shit for them they will stay in one room and you'll be in another...their boring and drains your energy...its just better to be alone and get rid of their bum miserable narc ass!!!
Truth. Next month will be a year of no contact. She would try to tell me my living room was her room and j need to go to my room. The whole apt is mine that I paid for. Eventually she left cause she didn't like my boundaries. So glad I'm not drained every day from exhaustion and having no energy to argue with her. Roommates? I'd rather be alone than have a roommate like a narc. I need my energy and space as an empath.
He does love her tho .. in his way
All this time, I thought I might be a narcissist as well because I discarded them. The truth is, they forced me to do so. Thank you for opening my eyes.
My moment of freedom began 3/1/21 . Good golly Ms Molly. It was like Sleeping with the enemy. I had to be strategic in what I said and did in order to survive until the closing on my home. This was a 2 year journey of saving funds. I’m the happiest I have ever been.
It feels good huh? Time for your new journey to begin. Pick the right path sister.
Me too
My freedom came on Nov 24 2021, feeling better everyday around my family and friends
My freedom, my exodus from the captivity of a narcissist started 3/17/2021!!! Hallelujah! Thank you Moses!!!
Same timing I woke up to his bs 🙄
most people who are not narc will pull away because we notice that the narcissist is cheating or we sense something has changed.
ABSOLUTELY
💯💯
I told him things have changed, of course he denies everything! It's all me!
@@mandylynn9397when I finally realized we would never ever agree on anything due to his disorder I walked. 12 plus months now.
My narcs other woman is drugs! He would ghost me for 2 or 3 days but it was in the crack house or somewhere he felt comfortable getting high sense I don't do drugs! Had good jobs and they would only last 1 to 3 days or 1 to 2 weeks! Just enough money to waste it all in the crack house because my money supply had become a no no! I could never get a return on my investment in this future faking relationship! He never followed through, never kept his word! 3 years of wasted time! He is still in the same position I met him in! Unbeknownst to me in the beginning was nowhere! It has been all a lie! I realized that I was only a strong financial resource!
This! Can relate 100%
Yup. I was love bombed intermittently. But no matter how many times he was 'nice' and behaving in a ' loving' way toward me, i was never emotionally back to the person i was. When he tried to hug or kiss me, i would push him off me or turn my head. He was being fake
😧😧
Public displays of romanticism
wow just like me. i finally left 💕
I feel that girl. Once upon a time I loved him for who he was regardless of his flaws. Not anymore. I'm sick of the control. Love bombing when I try to leave, saying he would change with tears and all. I see through it all now. It's so unbearable I cannot bring myself to be intimate with him. The only reason he cares after the years is simply the lack of sexual contact with him.
I'm working on escaping. Good luck to the others that are suffering
I did the same foh i made up a song just the words DONT TOUCH ME
Yeah, never seen a chattier narcissist than when I start gray rocking.
💯
L😂l
And on all platforms ooo
Social media and all.
About BS..pisses me off
I’m sayingggggg
Hahaha lmao. Nicest he’s ever been to me, didn’t take 2 days.
I just broke up with a narcissist 2 weeks ago. I've been with him for two years . I started watching RUclips videos on how to deal with narcissist and going no contact. I ran across one of your videos and begin to watch you. I'm so proud of you and what you're doing. It takes an Awesome man to admit these things and talk about them. keep up the good work you are helping a lot of people, especially me. Thank you.
you’re welcome. Stay safe
How are you now? I have been with my BF for two years also. Yesterday….. was the last time for me. It has to be.
Dying inside. Our anniversary is Christmas Day.😓
...My story , but I stayed with him. Limited affection. I'm waiting until I'm ready. I don't want to be calling him & I know I'm not ready to 100% ready to let it/ him go...I hate it but I'll do it when I'm ready!
@@shilohbreigh3591 ...Sorry for your pain. We all know what it's like! 😪 Jan.4 is our 2 year Anniversary. He most-likely doesn't remember but I'm ok with that!
Def helped me too yes good for u
My husband started going to therapy after I left him last time. But he doesn’t think he’s a narcissist.
Since it’s his sessions and I’m not allowed to come, I know he’s feeding her only what he wants her to know. His side of things… painting himself as the the victim. That woman will never know what he’s done to me, how he treats me like garbage. Being around him makes me sick. I avoid him so hard, he probably questions his own existence. I have reached the point where I can’t afford financially to leave. But I don’t feel anything for him anymore. Now I don’t want the kisses or hugs or affection he has always denied me. The thought of him touching me now is repulsive.
That's a natural reaction for survival, to all he's subjected you to.
A 'good' therapist will see through, we're more transparent than we would often like to be.
A decent therapist would see through your partners BS. I entered therapy years ago for adduction and within two sessions he was gunning for certain members of my family. I thought he was nuts. It took me years to go no contact with those sick narcissts - he knew
Omg that's Exactly how I feel Wow...
I understand exactly about being repulsed. Toward the very end with my husband he would touch me and I would recoil. It felt like he was just grabbing me not showing affection. So when we exchanged our son he would try to touch me. I was clear with him more than once. Then finally I told him that while I prefer not to, but I will involve the police in the exchanges of our son. He never tried again! LOL
This is true. My ex husband would be cruel and I was the type to pull away. Overtime i detached more and more. When he felt it he put on the love bomb for a while. I fell for it until I was done.
Yes, first they wait till you have done some or most work of healing, only then they try to come back, so that if you take them back it hurts double when it's over again.
You end up being hurt most of the time, either because they treat you badly, or cheat, or breadcrumb etc or discard. Not all at once, but nicely separated,so that it can hurt several times....
Congratulations, btw!
Mine never put on the lovebomb face. He was that much unempathetic
Me too, then I just got tired of not being 1st ever and also I told him to talk to his cousin about her starving her kids and he turned that around like I was talking about her.
Agree. My detachment as he became increasingly cruel, dismissive, and blatantly invalidating was noticed even by Mr. Insensitive. ..
But when I'm done, I'm done.
That’s why all the red hearts and roses in his messages.. Now I understand 😅 That’s the most he ever did for me.. 🙄🙄
"This is who I can be not who I am." Facts
This is going to be today's video
Never quit! The world needs you! Full support, thanks for helping.
I appreciate that!
I'm starting to believe he's not a narcissist and just an eccentric
@@BrandonChaunceyOfficial who? You mean the guy running this channel?
Thank you Sir❤❤
You think he’s too helpful to be a narcissist right? I often wonder the same thing. But then again just because he’s “helping” us doesn’t mean he isn’t getting something out of it. You know narcs always have to get something out of everything they do. He is getting fame, money & attention. I guess it’s a fair trade because the NARC SURVIVOR COMMUNITY NEEDS THIS INFO.
The barrier that won’t let you communicate is your ego. This is accurate, he would start doing stuff I’ve been asking for forever, when he saw me pulling away. But things would go back to normal as soon as I went back to the same routine.
I believe he "sensed'"I was pulling away because he KNEW I was on to some lie or bad behavior. Just like a child who knows he's going to be found out. The difference is the child has sense enough to feel guilty. The Narcissist is just preparing to deflect his behavior back on her, making it her bad. Sometimes it's a temper tantrum, sometimes its blocking you or discarding you. Keep up the therapy so you stay a better person Lee.
And THEY MIRROR THEY OWN BEHAVIOR! Anything he accused me of ,turned out he was doing it himself.
@@violetvindicator always. That is such a tell tale on themselves.
My husband literally threw a tantrum last night left the house because I called him out on how many times he had told me to get the fuck out of his face when I’ve tried to talk to him now he just told me he’s done when I asked for a month break lol now he wants his rent money back like no
Eventually u get tired and don't care no more. That's how I feel after 17 years I don't even love him no more and we stay together and he tries to be nice and I just look at him
That's exactly how I feel after 30 years! I used to cry when I was younger when he said he was going to leave me but now I really wish he would! I'm tired of the drama, belittling, sarcastic barbs & all of his ridiculous, including the drinking & blasting music like he's 16. I'm just tired. No matter how much sleep I get, I'm tired. Tired of him. I don't even feel mean or guilty for saying it anymore. I think he knows it because he keeps taking about early retirement. He's 61. Him being at work is the only break I get. Before Covid, I was getting out, joining clubs, meeting people. Now I have to start all over & its harder than the 1st time. Thank goodness for an excellent therapist & RUclips, which gives me good talking points to bring up with him.
Good luck to you sister!!
@@sahdogwrangler5594 Goodluck to you as well. I know the feeling, they be so nasty until you tell them you're done or they see that you dont care no more. Then they want to play nice. It's all a game. The loud music gets on my nerves as well, got to speed and blast loud music. I'm thinking about making me a RUclips page, everything I been through from cheating, beating, held hostage, breaking into my place, and all I got a story to tell, several. You notice you can do better, to be honest I do not even know what I seen in him. He is not even my type. He is not ugly, but not my type. His attitude and how he talks to other makes me hate him more. He been in and out of jail and prison his whole life, but this last bid created a monster. Everyone cut him off each time he go to jail but me. Yet, I get the most disrespect.
@@sahdogwrangler5594 its been 8 years dv and all and makes me feel guilty like i deserved to be pushed and even chocked before and alot of other ishh 😔
@@madeinvirginia3998 😵😱😭😖💔 LEAVE! Please 🙏🏽
@@theresawarren8814 Please make a safe plan to leave 🙏🏽💔😭😱
When you realize your own worth being discarded isn't a heartbreak it's emotional freedom because you know you deserve better than what they try to sell you, don't get bamboozled by a narc they don't deserve it.
Wow so scary…. He literally asked me “are you happy in this relationship” when he knew full well how miserable it was for me.
I actually got a love boom when I greylocked him before going no contact. Am amazed how all this falls into place. It's even funny that narcissism has the same characterists no matter where you are in the world
It’s the same tactics and same scenarios regardless of the narc, they all have the same dark tactics, that’s why it’s easy to spot them once you’ve danced with one
It's because they are demons from the same place
Its sick
@@swiftkarma4436 reply not from the same place
I DO agree- wherever they are geographically from, whatever language they speak , whatever religion they practice - the behavioral stuff is all the SAME ! And the phrasing they use ..” ..I am sorry that you feel that way…” as a non apology. Gaslighting - lying to your FACE and denial of those same lies ( even with audiovisual evidence )… then making the fact that they lied YOUR fault… the eruptions of temper/ temper tantrum’s ( only when you are alone with the narc )… they seem to cut across every single cultural/ financial/ class/ religious/ “ racial “ / gender line … BUT the behaviors are same same from place to place and narc to narc …
Yup. She could tell. She used me to get into a new home and, once she got what she wanted, turned the evil up even more, which I didn't even know was possible. Something crucial happened, unbeknownst to her, that gave me the impetus to move away and refuse to move into the new place with. She tried to draw me back and I was becoming emotionally detached and distant, unresponsive to the games, with no intention of moving in. Things came to a peak after a concert where I cranked the music up so I couldn't hear her argue and yell, saying "I don't think we're gonna make it." I responded, "Oh no we will not!" She told me she was breaking up w/me and said, "But I still love you." I didn't return the sentiment. It was over. When I left and said goodbye to her dog the next morning, I had a deep sense of finality, knowing the 39 year story was over once and for all. I drove away saying to myself, "Now let the healing begin." That was it.
Soon after, I ran into her brother-in-law and reflected that I used to think she was the gold standard, but now understand she's just fool's gold; that I was being called a "diamond in the rough" by a lump of coal; that I thought she was the prize, but now I know she's not even a good catch. Like he had said earlier, she thinks she's 10ft tall and bulletproof, but I got to see what a broken, toxic, dysfunctional person she really is, unhappy and angry, alcoholic and suicidal, like someone dead who hasn't passed away yet, physically beautiful but ugly and poisonous inside and deadly in every way.
stay strong
Damn like someone dead who hasn't passed away yet
@@freshmanjeans
It's just so well said 👍👍👍
You had some great analogies. Keep on healing 👊🤩
You been in therapy for 4 years and your wife left you recently. I love that transparency as long as you are putting forth the effort and making changes that is what people don’t get!!!
Thank you
Man the narc offered me a trip for myself and the kids. Anywhere we wanted to go. And was talking in a tone like we haven’t been going through hell. Later was like where we going have you decided. Because I am currently aware I laughed to myself and said nope. Never mentioned it again that shit will no longer work on me. I don’t feed into it anymore. Now I match his energy until I can financially move along.
They already had someone hanging in the wings waiting for you to mess up and blame you for their infidelity!
Interesting. Mine got caught in a lie and he discarded me when I wouldn’t just go along with it. I haven’t spoke to that man since August 2019 and I refuse to reach out especially since he was the one preaching about loyalty trust honesty faithfulness etc etc when he got caught with a second cell phone. I guess he expected me to beg him and act an emotional fool. Nope not me. I’m sure he is with his new supply and its going well because I haven’t heard from him. He certainly won’t be hearing from me.
My goodness, it's like I've written it - 100% the same scenario. I beg no one for respect!
@@free_will4913 ❤
It's like when ever they protest about something that's exactly what they are doing.
Yep - projection and guilty conscience 😊
Trust me it’s not going as well as you may think with the new supply. I was a new supply once (unbeknownst to me)… however I discarded him 2 months in. I had, had enough in that short period of time~
I began texting like I don’t care. He noticed I didn’t feel same. Then I stopped calling him. It hurts not to be with him but it hurts even worse being with him.
🙏🙏🙏
My ex would purposely create arguments to have an excuse to go cheat. He would set it up exactly how you would describe and when I would say, who jump into a relationship the Very Next day with someone new unless they were already talking and he would still say, well we were broken up. I knew better then and I know even more now. I just regret even giving the benefit of the doubt to someone capable of doing the most vile and sickening to another human being. They don’t care or think about if they catch an STD from all the people they pick up online, they will blame you for it and swear you the one gave it to them, that’s how low down they can get.
This is exactly what I'm going through. I sit quietly, scared to say anything because he will just blow up, start cussing, get mad and storm out. Then cheat and say well we were in a bad spot.
Meanwhile I send 10 texts and he sends 1. It's absolutely insanity
I feel myself losing interest I don't even feel like dealing with him fake being nice when he does realize I don't like him anymore. Can you talk about how narcs live double .. or even triple lives?
Its always at least a double life
I like your comment!!➡in WAITING in line for THAT one too👍
Yep...someone told me "you checked out a long time ago." Why do u stay?
Yes two humans pretending 2 b in love 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣THEY ONLY LOVE THEMSELVES BITCHES💞🌟💞🌟💗💞🌟REMEMBER THAT 1❣️❣️❣️
Yes so true what you are saying
Totally feeling when you said being in love with their potential, not who they REALLY are. In order to process it I got to where I'd refer to him as 'Tom' and then his given name to split the Heckle Hyde experience. But I came back so many times for the potential. Sad to know what someone could be all the time, but chooses not to be.
That's a word!
I called mine mr jeckyl and dr hyde just tonight. Verbally abuse me then stay out all weekend and missed work after saying he'd be there at 2PM. Making me look bad as 'THE MANAGER' then being angry and nasty to me. Felt entitled so he tried to take my car when I called him on it it yelled and cursed he would bring it back. Once asleep I don't even care to wake him for work to redeem as I don't know WHO will wake up 🤫😓
Yes, this exactly!!!
@@siswdeen had this same kinda stuff done to me too. Hurtful.
I'm finally out of his reach now
LAWD!!! PREACH!!!🙌🏾
“If you’ve made your mind up to leave, just go ahead and leave”. Thank you for this. It’s been a couple weeks since we split and I go back and forth in my head. The switch definitely flipped one day. This is rough and painful. Thank you so much for your videos, they have helped a lot.
Something I've been considering the past couple months while trying to work out leaving; when I am old and look back on my life, will I be thinking "why the hell did I stay that long?" Or "you should have tried harder to work out your marriage."
See, what kept me here this long, besides him acting how I needed him to every time I left, was the fear that I would regret "giving up". Now I know for certain that if I were at the end of my life looking back I would only be telling myself not to waste so many years on him.
Wow what made you reach this conclusion and are you gonna go forward with it? It can feel like a double bind sometimes because of the confusion they induce plus the trauma bond itself so kudos to you for deciding💕
Solidarity 👊 In my own case, it has changed from thinking that I should stay and work harder to I've stayed too long and it is now foolish and dangerous to stay.
That's been the tipping point for me lately. Gotta go, can't do anymore for this relationship.
No one cares if narcissist cheat. Why would anyone care if a dysfunctional human being cheats? WHY? The only thing a normal human being needs to do is pray for the narcissists and their next pray. My point is that he or she is unregulated in a very very dysfunctional way and the message should be that no one should care what they do. If one of the apples in the bunch is rotten what do you do? You throw it away and keep it moving.
Totally agree with the prayers and keeping it moving. Praying for someone who treats you badly is very hard, but it extremely necessary for the narcs and their families and victims! 💯🎯
Exactly and it's really hard to pray for someone who hurted us but I'd rather pray for him than breaking the No contact. Conctating him will only make me feel bad and that would not help him to become a better person anyway.
You are making me relive my life! OMG! When we sat down to discuss our breakup, then he wanted to talk about how different things will be. Please. I sat pretended to listen and agree but secretly packed up and when he went to bed, boom, got the kids and left him. I learned to be wise. Keep my mouth close, plan and dash. That’s wasn’t cruel. I was saving my children and me. I am surprised you are able to give others the peep behind the “curtain”.
Make a video about the power of the word "No".
After the love bombing phase was settling, I quickly realized that everything was one-sided again and I was putting in all the effort, obedience, submissive, making my self small for him and paying for EVERYTHING! So, once I started saying no about certain things/expectations...I instantly became the problem. And, when he couldn't control me enough to care about his reactions or his feelings lol he wanted us to take a break lol.
"You don't like me anymore and I'm not feeling you either". - per my narc.
All because I was setting boundaries lol. He hasn't actually discarded me, he was trying to get a reaction out of me smh. I stayed away for a couple days and he came looking for me lol. They don't like it when you play their game better then them lol.
These people are literally self entitled, tantrum throwing children. Lol.
it’s the tantrum… I’ve never felt so conflicted about my opinion and morals in my life.. I could even budget okayyyyy . I had to play broookkkeeee.. damn near starve only person that ate was my daughter .. frfr any sign of money the game is being played and I’m tired of it.. frfr
@@aiichadejanee Girl yes! One day around 12 noon he was like, aren't you hungry? I was like, yea what are you gonna buy for us to eat cuz I'm not paying this time or you can cook for us babe. Long story short, he copped an attitude and we didn't eat ALLLLL day and I was standing my ground! I wasn't letting up for nothing.
Matter of fact, I left at about 8pm, hit the drive thru lol and went tf on to my own damn house. F HIM!
He prob was waiting for me to leave so he wouldn't have to pay for me.
@@elles4115 ayeeee you played it EXACTLY how you were supposed to… hahaha the nerve of the attitude at it wanting to pay or cook… REAL men would’ve like you know what babe your right. Or would’ve simply cooked what ya fucking liked w/o asking lol like the NERVE.. it’s so blatant that you almost don’t believe it
@@elles4115 the fact that I had to hide food … I was bishhh it’s time to goooooooooooo… I don’t play bout my food IMA LEO.. we don’t play bout DAT food ya hear meee lol long story short I’ve lost so much weight ppl questioning my hobbies … 😂😂😂😂 love supposed to plump you up a lil .. smh
@@aiichadejanee not you lost some weight from not eating and hiding food lol. But I can see how tho! Yea it's definitely time to go! I went two months once then another time four months NC. And, a couple weeks here and there. But, trust and know and I'm getting stronger and stronger every time. Soon he'll just a distant memory and I can't wait!
Yes, the last part is so spot on. Thank you for sharing.
My ex narc pushed me away so he was not the one who ended the relationship. He just didn't want to take responsibility. It was already clear he wanted it to end, by doing things in such an obvious way behind my back.
When you see it, you see it.
Feeling blessed I saw it on time, by calmly watching the 'relationship' develop over 6 months. Even though he already wanted to marry and get children from week 1.
In this period of time God helped me and showed me the path. Praying to Allah for guidance, and reciting the Istikhara Dua.
Wishing a lot of strength for everyone going through this.
I think the narcissist is always going to be intensely hyper-vigilant when you're not willing to kiss the back of their pants anymore.
Right again. I was standing in the kitchen and he came up behind me and touched me. I tensed up and when I saw the look on his face I knew he knew I knew he was a monster!
Haven't seen my ex narc since March and it has been pure bliss. Sunday I spotted him playing football and carried on with my life some feet away. When he spotted me he tried to hide ... like this fool tried to hide behind a pole and I could see him watching me. I didn't even think about what that could be about since I was too busy enjoying myself at practice. What is wrong with these demons?
This made me laugh out loud. Cause I swear this in these unhappy souless women or men
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
They r basically kids that r reaped in an adoult body
True, when you are quiet, they lovebomb. Quietness from you scares them.
My biggest question is that why do narcissist get into relationships when they are happy being alone by themselves! They are too hurtful and internationally so too. All the love bombing, silence treatments, bursts of anger over nothing, lies etc.
All I ever attracted in each relationship was narcissists was raised by one also I’m so scared to even try again I’m a magnet for them
It’s so scary… all I did was go from a financial abusing narcissist to meeting an emotional abusing narcissist.I just don’t want anyone and have to want myself
change your self, they pick people with low self confident
Same here! I never got a chance to pick my gf! They always choose me! I get suckered in and get dropped on my head months later smh
I feel the same
I can’t thank you enough for making those videos , you helping so many, you have no idea. May God bless you ...
Thank you. God bless you as well
@@MentalHealness , i believe, especially because of your honesty, we are all growing here. Nothing like bouncing our thoughts off of someone else instead of just keeping them inside our own heads. There's something about us saying our thoughts outloud to another person, that helps us hear ourselves through a different lens.
Protect our peace and joy at all times. Let that Narc fight his own battle. Don’t argue with them and if they want to leave let them leave. If you want to leave leave but ignoring them and finding your own space works. Give them to God and get your life back. If they come at you , then you checked them right then and there and get the heck away from them and go to Dairy Queen and enjoy your some ice cream. PROTECT YOUR PEACE. I love this guy’s transparency and thank you for schooling us on a true Narc
I have been lovebombed so much, I see the pattern and I know when it’s coming. I don’t know if it’s one of the knowing is half the battle ideology or not. But once your eyes are open, it’s time to go.
Same, I call it every time.
Yes!!! So true. Mine will love bomb every time I pull away in complete disgust. So exhausting.
It can be. Stay strong
I love that he shares some of his experiences, i have a cousin that i distanced myself from, a Narcissist is very manipulative , you don't know when they will pop off over the smallest thing. Bravo to this gentleman for getting therapy. We all have issues but we have to want help and persue it.
I pray my husband will follow in his footsteps. Aameen
Ohhhh yaaaa and they do pop off....just like Satan!!!!!
You have a lot of courage to do this. This is exactly what I experienced. It is very painful . This person lacks the ability to see what they are doing is a problem. Half of the issue to wellness is having an awareness. Thank You
Well Well it is Well with our Soul they got some Silver some gold listen ha
We were able to rise took up our bed and walk
Free at last
Free at last
Thank God almighty we are Free
Converted from heart troubles
And
Heart attacks
They can keep them take it with them loose me take their dirty nasty unclean hands off my heart it is so funny how they think they has the cleanest hands the racoon's all the racoon's symptoms
We must gave Jesus Praise
Children he delivered us out the mouths of roaring lions
UNBELIEVABLE
The reprobate d
Minds
Turn it over to
JESUS
We had to go too it for more
Awakening
Mind Soul Body & Holy Spirit we have so much LOVE to gave LOVE
Conquered them we escaped the roaring lying lions den they roar and they roar they could not touch us we are delivered UP
Not devoured
Up
Now that you know what a narcissist is it's time for you to move on stop allowing yourself to be a victim by staying in a toxic relationship these people have a evil spirit Jesus Christ in my life is showing me how to love myself Jesus Christ is healing me of physical and mental abuse been in 3 toxic relationship so I think I know what I am talking about love you and get on with your life stop waiting on someone else to make you happy make your own self happy sign Cynthia Smith
It's been so many years that it's hard for me to pretend like I care about him at all. It's exhausting 😪.
yes that God. and you are supposed to be here, you have helped me get out my “relationship” God using you. hopefully changing you too
I’m so glad I came across your videos. I’m in an online FB group for overcoming narcissistic abuse for women. A woman posted trying to say narcissists could change, most of us disagreed with her and a woman had posted one of your videos and that’s how I found you on TikTok and now here. It’s very helpful to hear from a diagnosed narcissist, not only does it help me understand the narcissist in my life (on again/off again boyfriend and father of my children) and why he does what he does and how he works but it also validated what I’ve been going through cause I know I’m not crazy or imagining these things. I commend you for trying and going to therapy and doing what you can to create a platform to help others suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and the victims/survivors of narcissistic abuse. And yes love bombing happens in sprinkles throughout the relationship, it’s not just in the beginning.
Thank you. I really appreciate it. Stay strong
To me it's like candy bar sizes. So there's the regular size, the King Size and the Fun Size (The small ones that you sneak out of your kid's Halloween candy every year.) In the beginning it's like the King-Size Love Bomb... and then later on it's more like the fun-sized Love Bombs. Kind of scattered around after they came flying out of a pinata. They expect you to be all running around trying to get all the love bombs you can before other people get em... basically like a minefield of love bombs laying all over the yard.
The sprinkles are typically 15 and 20th year anniversary with a piece of jewelry that is not wanted or needed. Some intimacy and quality time on occasion would have been nice and it costs nothing but a little time.
@@eileenfuentes6975 That's a great way to describe it and it's not just partners who do it, because I've experienced it with family members and so-called friends!
I tend to give people too many compliments, so want to cut back, even though they're genuine. 😊
Had to let go of a friend I loved like a brother of 30 years. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2 years ago and this "friend" went out of his way to cause drama. Gotta look out for me and it was a relief to not have all the unnecessary, constant drama. Glad you had the self reflection to realize you needed help. Godspeed on your recovery.
Everything you said about how the next wife gets everything you wanted has been my story. And the fact that they do everything that is possible to drive you away so they can blame the entire breakup on you, is my answer to what really happened. My ex-husband was and is cunning. He is very intelligent and has had great financial success. But I wonder how smart the narcissist is if their only means of promotion is at the expense of others. We all need a Saviour, but God help the one who believes they are their own saviour.
He has also been telling me to leave for years if I'm not happy. And then once I finally got fed up and tried to separate he ended up pulling me back promising to change.
Chelsi Jacques I hope you can manage to leave before too many more years go by! I do realise that it's much easier said than done though.
I'm in my 60s now and wasted many years on people who weren't able to love me, including female friends. I wish I could turn back the time, yet that's not possible. I might get to experience genuine love in the future and I'm learning to love myself in the meantime, which is the main thing. ❤
Years!! No way , I understand if months ?
He won’t change. He will fake it for a few weeks tops and then it goes right back to the way it was before.
That is how they behave. Flying monkeys be like why aren't you talking to your ex.
Yep. Mine would always tell me to move on, he didn’t want me & I’m not his type yet he keeps trying to pull me back in even though he most likely has someone new
You are a Narcissist & teaching us ! Fantabulous! Honored yet amazed! 😆💜
So unusual for a narcissist to be self aware, thank you for your valuable insight! Do you think you are truly still a narcissist ? You have so much understanding of your past behaviors. You are obviously an intelligent guy and seem to be on the path of healing yourself . I commend you for what you are doing! You have found a real life purpose! ❤
So true, when he realised I'm pulling away early this year, suddenly he takes us on the family trip I've been asking for for years, he also bought me an expensive car and is pressuring me to sell my old car. I'm still quietly planning my exit, he has been such an awful husband to me and I simply cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with him
I was with my narc ex for 4.5 years 🙄 I didn't know much about narcissists until after we split up, only then did I start on my journey of recovery 💪 I'm still recovering now and I split up with him 2.5 years ago!! I really wish I was as educated then as I am now. I'm still learning, and it's thanks to people like yourself, that are using social media as a platform to educate and enlighten us 🙏 Thank you 🙌
stay strong and empowered on your journey
It was 6 years in, now almost 3 years out and it’s still difficult. My mother was also a npd person. I still wake up with horrible thoughts and memories of them both. BUT last year, he had a stroke and refused treatment. He can’t walk or talk. It’s a comfort knowing he can’t hurt anyone else. And my mom passed. I was relieved when she died. I’m still recovering from them both.
@@ednasmith4545 Hi Edna 👋 Aw, its just terrible hun. I'm sorry to hear your story. Thank you for sharing. Noone can understand the devastating affects narcissistic abuse has on you unless they have suffered it themselves. All we can do is stay strong and keep shining ❤
Holy sh!t!! This is EXACTLY what happened to me with this last narcissistic situationship! I held onto my feelings/strength. I knew it was a game! Ty for the validation.
Not less than. I knew I was more than enough and it was HIS abuse b's ways. His last push pull was the BLESSING for me. I don't feel anything and not remotely attracted to him anymore. He can have all the women in his pocket cause I know the ending and his soul has been sold. My vibe is way above ALL of this and yes I stand in the TRUTH. God's TRUTH
Praying to get there 🙏
@@maddie8153 work hard on yourself ...the inner work to never attract that mess again ..get closer to God. Trust believe it Will happen.
@@md-mx5zb thank you! I know you're right it is just so difficult. I know I'm way better than that and I deserve better. Him tearing me down every day doesn't help. I trust and love God. I pray everyday that He will get me through this.
@@maddie8153 I don't know your situation if you live together kids ECT but I do know this. It is a insidious abuse deception at its core and ultimately to destroy you destroy your spirit because they hate that in you. They use you to project their inner self hate onto you. Mind fks games cheating the threatening to leave every other week always protecting their phone w their " supply" rotating women like fk cattle. You have to leave to save yourself. Must go no contact and work on you to get out of his web. You are in a fog of lies and it won't lift until you get out of the lies and abuse. Watch channels - Tea on NPD. RC Blake's is another good one. Read 2 Timothy chap 3. 7 sins GOD hates. ALL NPD character traits God despise. Get to work on loving YOURSELF , heal your own inner wounds and cut the soul ties of abuse. You know now WHO he really is. He is pure evil with intent and calculated ways in his twisted head to hurt you - so get out of that darkness 💝 and run to HIS truth and light !
@@md-mx5zb yes I know all that but I can't accept it. I still see the goodness in him. I still see his pain. I know I'm an empath and the guilt and sympathy I feel for him is constant. It's so hard to accept it is all a lie because it was so very real to me. I keep praying for God to let me see it so I can accept it and get out and I know it sounds crazy but my mind just can't see it even though I know it.. I've never loved someone so much in my life. He is definitely covert NPD without a doubt. He fits every single sign and symptom I mean every single detail. I am a recovering addict I've been clean for almost 8 years and trust me when I say the trauma bond is just as real of an addiction as any drug. I fought for my life and came out of active addiction for over 15 years... and believe me he reminds me of who I used to be every single chance he gets instead of being proud of me and supporting me. I lived in that self-hatred for so long finally came out of it to fall into a narcissistic relationship. I just wish I could get a break... he takes me right back to feeling the same way I felt during my addiction... worthless, useless, small, weak, and hating myself because I know I shouldn't tolerate his abuse. Funny thing is I don't have kids with him. He doesn't live with me anymore. There is absolutely nothing to keep with him. I don't depend on him financially or any other way. He knows that and I think it drives him crazy. I see that sweet loving caring side of him and it is so hard for me to believe that is fake and he so full of hatred but I see that evil side too. I know I need to get out before he completely destroys my spirit and thank God I haven't relapsed. Thank you very much. I will definitely look up those verses. I need all the help I can get. I pray everyday that God will help me break free from this bond that I have with him. It's this vicious circle that just goes round and around. It is so nice to know that I'm not alone and that it is actually normal to be feeling the way I'm feeling. Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it and it really helps to know there is light on the other side. I'm so happy for you and pray that soon I will be able to say the same thing.
Thanks for sharing this stuff. It’s so weird that they are all so similar. I guess it’s the lack of empathy. Narcissists probably think us with empathy are weird too.
"And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."
- Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
love it!
Intentionally choosing to not invest in the relationship. He NEEDS to be the victim.
Narcissist are the evil empath. Like I said in another video, I could feel him and vice versa. I think he felt me when I cut the soul tie/ trauma bond bc about a week later I felt the sadness I felt when he left a year and a half prior. Its like I had to deal with the pain twice. People think I am crazy. He started ringing my phone off the hook two weeks later. I guess he understands I set boundaries and I had options unlike he thought.
I never thought about it like that; them being the evil empaths.
I think Lee, you are much more thoughtful then most narcs. Most narcs don't come to self realization of their own issues. Their manipulative defense mechanisms keep them from it. Most just want to use the people in their lives. HD Tudor says some things opposite of what you do. He says 2% of narcs know who they are but the rest just react out of their narcissism.
This hurts to hear because I’m still processing my experience dealing with a person that has this disorder (I ended it for the umpteenth time days ago). It hurts in the way that will help me heal though. Thank you for your content.
This is WAAAAAY too complicated to decipher. I am so glad you are telling us these things. I now know that I was not crazy in my former relationships. Why are people LIKE this?
These ppl are sick. Like why is it such a goal to make others around them so unhappy. Like seriously they must hate happiness. From coming out an relationship like this, you really be thinking these ppl care about you. That's only reason I stayed as long as I did. Gr8ful for waking up.
Exactly my question
Yes! I’m grateful for self-aware person breaking it down but WOW.
They enjoy problems. It feeds them
That’s a powerful message and testimony Lee. Your messages have been helping me through a very unhealthy relationship. This person hurt me tremendously, and I’m in a really low place emotionally right now. God bless and thank you for sharing these important messages and insights.
I found this yesterday. I've binge watched your channel. Been with my narc a little over 5 yrs now. I need help leaving. Or getting him to leave. He'll leave on his own if it'll hurt me but when I tell him to go it's ignored literally like I said nothing at all or he will rage & I'll react & then love bomb. I love can't lie but I'm literally going crazy. I've reacted in ways I don't even recognize myself. Thought as an empath I could make it work/figure it out but now I just want out
Narcs are crazy-making, that's why you feel like you're going crazy. Because they don't respond back to you the way a normal person does. There IS no answer, that's why you can't find one. The only answer is Leave.
Great video. All true. It was obvious, over time, the man I was talking to and I were not compatible. He is and always will be special to me. I understand him and do not judge him. I wish him the best. I hope that if he chooses to change his life, as he says he does, that he will succeed.
🙏🏽
6 years back and forth with mine until I realized what he was doing...
That back and forth saga has no future … just futility and breadcrumbs.
They dnt care if you're un happy they could care less
Before I knew my ex husband was a narc, I was telling people that every time I start to move on from him he could sense it.
When I would start to feel myself rising up, within a week I would get a msg or an email. Then it brought me back down again and I would feel low.
Six sense is right, we were not in the same house. On the other hand I can feel when he is pulling away.
All energy..
My narcs literally got me pregnant purposely when I had just gotten a job after 15yrs of being a housewife just to get me to stay at home...these people have a very sick mind I have dealt with 2 of them in the last 23yrs back to back not making that mistake a third time I’ve gained too much knowledge in the last two years to make that mistake trice
Thank you for bringing love, light, and laughter to such a dark and painful topic. Please, continue to share your self-work, healing, and experience with the world. It's much needed and appreciated. 🙏❤😄🙌
Thank you
Not my X male narcissist of 7 yrs….he goes all silent..no communication I left for a second time and last time I’m over it I deserve better
Thank you for your platform, and helping us who have experienced the narccissist abuse. It's truly appreciated.
He told me he's sorry he lied that he had given me his heart, and then stated, "he never loved anyone unconditionally, not even his brother that recently died! "
I think it was a strong sense of pride and a fear of accountability that stops them from making amends. Or seeing what’s wrong when they sense it.
TRUTH! Truth all over the place in here.
Yeah I've experienced this and when the love bombing isn't effective he will create an argument with me then accuse me of never loving him etc and start being abusive.
Appreciate your ability to self reflect & grow Lee!
Thank you
I always got great gifts after a "mess up"...the discard is the greatest gift...free willy all the way!!
OMG! My suspected NPD decided he wanted to be an Israelite! I was like “NO” immediately! He was in direct connection with an Israelite, and I felt shaken in my spirit. It was not long lived. He slowly, but surely, turned back to his TRUE spirit. AND, yes, he “claims” he has done for others he did not do for me. I don’t stalk his social media for the better of my mental health. BUT his words still stress me. I need to learn that a narcissist is a WHOLE ILLUSION! Thank you for your transparency, vulnerability, and humility! This message is well received! Thank you, again!
His old name doesn't begin with a B by chance? And he changed his name to an African name?
I believe everything happened like it did, and you were led to do the things you did so that you could have this channel and help countless others.
Lee,
I really appreciate your work brother! Don’t stop letting us see the truth about narcissistic behavior.
Thanks!
Thank you 🙏🏽
This is too accurate! It makes me sick…thank you for your honesty🙌
Thank you for sharing. Your videos have been so healing to know I’m not crazy and I can trust my intuition.
This was your most profound video for me. Yet, anyway. Every week or so I find yet another one that resonates so deeply with me. They're all unbelievably great, though. I really appreciate your time and patience in doing all of these videos and giving tools to anyone that is ready to make some positive changes in their life.
I am so happy to have found your channel. This really is my relationship with my husband. Almost everything you said in this video has happened or been said to me by him. Especially the part where when we separated (because I thought that was going to help him realize he was going to lose his family) he said I chose to leave and did I really think he was going cry and wait on me. He was already talking to two married females and one who had recently separated. He had his backs up already lined up.
Your so right when you come out of this storm, your not the same person that was in the storm.
Your a better person, stronger, more determined to live your best life for you and you alone.
Walk away from the narcissists and your best days are ahead for you.
They never loved you like you loved them.
You were a need for them, they supply or slave.
Get out and stay out.
I did After 35 years and so can you.