How Insecure Attachment Affect Your Relationships
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- Attachment refers to the bond you form with people in close relationships such as your parents, children, close friends or romantic partners. In this video, I focus on the 3 attachment styles developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth.
Secure
Insecure-Anxious
Insecure-Avoidant
The two insecure styles can be summed up as: anxiety about being abandoned or avoiding intimacy and closeness.
Here are four things you can do to improve your attachments.
1. Recognize your attachment style by examining your significant relationships.
2. Practice self-compassion.
3. Journal or reflect on your secure relationships
4. See a therapist for professional help with making this transition from insecure to secure.
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References
Rowe, A. C., Gold, E. R., & Carnelley, K. B. (2020). The Effectiveness of Attachment Security Priming in Improving Positive Affect and Reducing Negative Affect: A Systematic Review. International journal of environmental research and public health, 17(3), 968.
Mackintosh, K., Power, K., Schwannauer, M. et al. The Relationships Between Self-Compassion, Attachment and Interpersonal Problems in Clinical Patients with Mixed Anxiety and Depression and Emotional Distress. Mindfulness 9, 961-971 (2018).
Want to know more about mental health and self-improvement? On this channel I discuss topics such as bipolar disorder, major depression, anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder (ADHD), relationships and personal development/self-improvement. I upload weekly. If you don’t want to miss a video, click here to subscribe. goo.gl/DFfT33
Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
"All relationships fail until they don't"-Dr. Tracy Marks 👏👏👏
I loved this quote too! It reminds me of how walking is falling. I found a good quote about it: "Our very walking is an incessant falling; a falling and a catching of ourselves before we come actually to the pavement" -Thomas Carlyle, 1843, in a letter of advice to a young reader
The turquoise jewellery really suits you
Thank you B. I love necklaces. 😊
What if the only secure relationship I ever had was with myself? I always get me out of darkest places, heal myself and tell myself "everything will be OK"
Thank you Dr. Tracey
The Lord is my helper. Jesus gets us out of dark places all good things come from above 💓
Similar to insecure avoidant...a good counselor to help with learning how to communicate your needs rather closing up and retreating...just a thought 🌻🙏
Same, I always had to help everyone else. Maybe that's why I H8 being around people now.
@@adell7577 Superstition is a plague on humanity
@@pammym1825 What if you have no needs?
The algorithm finally got it right! I really needed to hear this today. I just started dating a really good guy and my anxiety about being rejected or abandoned was already starting to creep up. This video really put things in perspective. Thank you
I'm in the same boat. I feel so bad that I put my insecurities on him. I hope I didn't lose him
@@patricethomas4947 I totally understand what you mean. Just know that you are enough and that he likes you for you :)
You are not alone. I am fighting with the same thing. Such a good man that I feel I am hurting unintentionally
“Your fear of rejection can lead you to end relationships” I felt that lol
Your profile picture is weird and gross.
I just found out about attachment styles. I have anxious insecure style in romantic relationships. I literally thought I had a mental health disorder because I was obsessed with men who had rejected me. Now I know to have more compassion for myself. ❤️
“Anxiety” is a mental health disorder. Admitting is the first step. Recognizing your behavior wasn’t healthy and Self-Compassion is key. Secure attachment is the goal. Blessings unto you. 🙏🏽
I wish you were my next door neighbor. I imagine sitting on my front porch with you sitting next to me, rocking in the rocking chairs, drinking mint juleps and discussing these dynamic, mind blowing topics you choose to discuss.
Clingy.
Im definitely avoidant style, most of the time i want to be alone and I don't think or care about my significant other not because I don't love them but because im an introvert so i usually like being alone and independent.
My partner is like this, he smokes weed too which makes it even worse, sometimes I think he should just marry his spliff and he’d have a happy life.
@@destiny9734 lmao 😂
Maybe check in with your partner to see if they're ok with that. I used to date an avoidant (as an anxious person) and being ignored would drive me crazy. It felt like I wasn't loved, and over time the distance became too much and our relationship ended. The fixes would've been relatively simple but we never talked about it. I'm an introvert, too, but romantic attachment is a separate beast.
@@starboiklem8381 but, why date then?
That's interesting. I was thinking about this because I'm an introvert too.
I used get attached dangerously quickly and would give my all to someone. But after a few times of them not being the same, I feel like I have completely lost the ability to be attached.
Same
Me too
Same
Same
I know what you mean, I feel like I can't give my all to anyone except if I could split myself into 2, me and me would be best friends.
My mother is insecure anxious, my father is avodant. Great combination of dysfunctional family, because they both are toxic and control freaks.
😆
Ouuuf 🙁 hope things get better.
same, my mother are anxious avoidant, but idk about my father....
im growing up absorbing her negative believe around people....
My father was anxious and alcoholic and my mothet was avoidant. Years of therapy fot me.
@@Peanuts76 wth are you talking abt?
I'm a very emotional person so when I am going through alot of pressure or guilt, I would either cry for long periods of time and go to sleep. I would write down and then go to sleep or do anything to avoid my feelings instead of actually dealing with it. I noticed that this habit has affected my relationships aswell
My mother left me and my father when I was a little over a year old...I knew I’ve had abandonment issues and my insecurity in relationships has been devastating. I’m taking a lot of time for myself to try and reparent my inner child. Hopefully I can be a good mother to the inner child.
Your mother is responsible for her choices in her life. You choose to be responsible for your life, be kind to yourself.
@@d.w.3325 It took my a long time to come to that point
@@d.w.3325 that's the secret about this, be pacient and kind with oneself...
@@CheeseBurgerSugar Never too late to be the parent that was never there and become a better adult.
@@ownSystem 34 is still not too late right? 😕
I am anxious/avoidant, but I don't know if I fit into any of the categories you describe. I feel I am understanding and forgiving of myself. I might occasionally kick myself for something I said, but I don't hate myself for saying it. It doesn't consume me or make me inhibited about talking.
I feel like I am way to sensitive to vibes I think the other person is giving off. The slightest hint that someone doesn't "like" me makes me back off. It isn't that I don't feel I need them. I am just very sensitive to the "vibes." At the same time, I am fully aware that I am likely misunderstanding vibes much of the time.
It is perplexing to me why I can't change this. I am close to very few people. I am ok with it in a sense because I am very independent and happy enough on my own. But I know I am missing a lot and don't really know how to change.
You sound similar to me. I think we're simply products of our time too. People have a very low tolerance for social risk these days. Before, you had no choice but to reach out to people and establish relationships quickly as a matter of survival. This meant a society where social graces were better practiced and folks suffered less awkward vibes.
I'm older and long out of school so I push myself to try and make friends when meeting new people. If there's a hint of a connection forming, I give my number or have lunch with them. It pretty much never becomes anything long-term, but that's ok. The point for me, is to build my tolerance for awkward vibes and rejection because one day, who knows, a friend will come along. The adventure along the way is nice too. You have good stories to tell 🤷
@@debmadden4157 Thank you Deb, I will search for that video!
@@QuietlyCurious We may be close in age ... not sure. I am also out of school many many years. I was always more or less like I am now. I like the way you say you build a tolerance for awkward vibes because that is a good way of thinking of it. I have always struggled with that. I used to put myself out there a lot more than I do now ... of course, i also used to drink a lot to help me with that. I dont drink anymore so I have to find better ways of coping with those awkward vibes.
@@debmadden4157 Ohhhh, I just Googled Highly Sensitive Person. Yup! That is me! I am glad to find out it is a "thing." Not just me!
You might be projecting your fears onto other people. That comes from having a lack of energetic boundaries between yourself and others. It’s hard to tell where your opinions of them start and their opinions of you begin
This is one of my favorite videos of yours of all time. You clear research-based videos highlight so many fascinating topics. The work you are doing here on RUclips for mental health is important now more than ever with the discussion of Olympic athletes like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka entering the global spotlight!!
Thanks a lot Dr. Adam! 😊 I'm glad to see that we are getting to the point where we can talk more openly about mental health issues. These things are new we're just talking about it more now. I'm glad you entered the scene to contribute to the conversation. 👍🏽
This is such a powerful video. I’m thanking God that I watched this because I was about to do something stupid in my relationship 😐
Hold it, sit with it, hold your emotional experience. Breathe. Your future self will thank you for your impulse control. 😉🙂🤗
@@AghoraNath thank you
I’m a type 1 diabetic suffering from depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. Your videos have helped me a lot but I would love to see one dedicated to discussing the effects of chronic conditions and mental health. Thank you
one thing ive noticed about myself is that i have an anxious insecure attachment habit. my fear of losing a s/o would completely overshadow everything to the point where id see everything through the lens of that fear of loss. i've been doing a lot of self reflecting and making progress. this video along with your others have been a huge help. thank you a ton
I'm so avoidant I've never had a romantic relationship...
The older I get the more of a freak I feel like haha.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤘
Just to tell you that you're not the only one. This is also me. It is still me now.
I’m in my 20’s and never had a romantic relationship and I get that feeling of feeling like a freak…but honestly just take it at your own pace and don’t feel pressured by what society or other people tell you what your relationships “should” be like.😁
Think of all the time you didn’t waste on someone else! I’m jealous 💜
I only started dating at 28 for the same reason, now at 29 and 1.5 years of dating experience under my belt I have learnt so much about myself, what I want, what I like, don’t like, my attachment patterns etc, haven’t managed to get into a formal relationship as I had self sabotaging issues but I am hopeful, trying is a lot better than sitting back and doing nothing at all I promise! I discovered I have more of a disorganised/fearful avoidant style which I’m actively working in in therapy
I have anxiety about being abandoned, I have great parents but I've been ghosted a lot by friends and people I liked and or dated, you'd think it would make me crave physical affection but I'm autistic and I don't like physical touch except in romantic relationships, I also have a hard time knowing when, how and how much physical touch to use. I find it very stressful and confusing so I typically let other people use physical touch when I'm comfortable with them or avoid it altogether. Relationships as an autistic person are difficult.
Fellow autistic here and I felt this in my soul, my parents aren’t the greatest but I struggle with physical touch a lot and not knowing how to navigate through the early stages about it is super overwhelming
Dr. Tracey, thank you for the knowledge you’re sharing. I’m from a country where mental illnesses are not recognized(even though the rates of people with mental illness here is insanely high), so hearing to you speak about mental health with so much knowledge, research and scientific backing is so soothing. I feel so seen and validated in my condition. Also, this dress with this jewelry is a beautiful choice! Suits you very well and I love the puffy sleeves, I wear puffy sleeves myself all the time😄
I have the ability to have both anxious and avoidant attachments to people. I always switch between the two depending on what kind of person my partner is.
Same!!
Wouldnt tht just be secure at that point? Or are you morphing into your partners attachment style?
Evidently, when I was quite young my dad was very involved with me...I was the last child and the only one to receive his attention. The attention ended when I was 3 or 4. I definitely have the anxious style.
A great therapist and I summed it up as if I was a cute little puppy and at a certain point I became an adult dog. I always craved his attention and finally learned that to get it I had to misbehave. Really messed up my life for quite some time.
This is the BEST explanation I have heard without the heavy lingo. Thank you, Doctor!
Thank you so much for this. I love how you had suggestions to process your attachment, in addition to ways to identify your type.
Dr. Marks has such a warm and comforting presence, I wish she had one of those therapist talk shows as well...i feel like it would be really therapeutic just to watch her listen and give advice
This video is so informative. So easy to understand without going all over the place.
Thanks a lot glad it was informative. 🙂
Agreed. Straightforward and understandable.
Insecure-Anxious, I’m happy to be learning about myself
Dr Tracey Marks not only is helping me overcome some TOUGH emotional hurdles, but is also looking so stylish while doing so
I know a man who can help you with your problems. He is a spiritualist. He helped me with my relationships,
Whatpp him
@@smeanslandon4317 no
Whoa... Avoidant as the day is long.
I don't want or need anything from anyone else. If I do, I feel needy and ashamed...
For me, unrequited love is perfection. I have no needs to meet, no expectations.
I can give love freely with no desire for it to be reciprocal. It is completely selfless.
To give love freely and without wanting anything back makes me feel satisfied.
But... I am lonely.
Don't know if you'll see this but Thank you for your practical, relatable style and content, Dr. Marks. Keep doing what you're doing!
I know a man who can help you with your problems. He is a spiritualist. He helped me with my relationships,
Whatpp him
It makes more sense to call insecure avoidant "Ambivalent Attachment" thus not to be confused with insecure anxious. Ambivalent is the self reliance PDs, which all of those labels can be described as artifacts of complex PTSD. Helps me learn the difference, to exposit the terms.
Yes, I can really relate to that
I don't ambivalent is the right word there because avoidance doesn't have ambivalent motivation like anxious attachment; avoidant is very independent and your feeling of security is not dependent on your partner.
I feel like I jump between anxious and avoidant depending on how I think the other person is behaving. Secure attachment is such a rare feeling that I can't tell for sure if it is, in fact, what I'm thinking. So again, I just chalk it up to the moment (i.e. "He's a good friend to me. It was nice of him to listen to me today").
If I had to pin just one label on myself tho, it would be anxious.
I just ordered my own copy of "Fierce self compassion" and let the journey to security begin!
This channel is a gem
Thanks so much Alina!😊❤️
I have always chose men that have been unavailable so i got hurt. If i like a man from day one I'm on Fight and Flight mode i lose weight and can't concentrate and any sign like longer txting me back or not txting i get super anxious! But i never reach out to them i wait for them, but i nearly have breakdown until they do.
Wow this is so me! I definitely know how you feel you explained exactly what I have been through my whole life.
@@medulgurlroxx885 Horrible isn't it?
LMBO, I'm your exact opposite, prolly like one of those people you H8. I H8 clingy people but I attract them like crazy or did. Now I just avoid everyone which was easy during Covid. My therapist is pressuring me to get back out into the world and I'm all, hells nuh, I'd rather be alone.
@@rhianimal19 You have a therapist? So you are obviously not happy and have problems. I'm not clingy if you read my comment i go through inner turmoil but i never cling to the man I'm with. So really we are alike we both have problems!!!
@@pam164 Therapy is a condition of my freedom. They think I need it more than I think I need it.
I was definitely insecure anxious and my early marriage years were a roller coaster. However I married a narc so that was so confusing. We both became followers of Christ and learned about healthy love over time. We were both comitted to grow which was a blessing which not every Christian couple experiences. I now recognize the critical voice and practice self nurture through prayer and positive thoughts and affirming words. Love a gratitude prayer too🙏
I love how your videos include solutions and resources to help. Thank you! It would be great to see a video on how to find the right psychiatrist for you, how to get the most out of therapy, and what it looks like to work with a mental health specialist.
She is so good at this.
I'm glad I watched this. I saw your post on insta about this video. I'd like to think I'm very introspective...I take inventory, and try my best to ask myself hard questions. This has been one of them. After watching, I actually feel that I've made some improvements in my close relationships. I've had to ask myself what I really want in a partnership, and what that looks like. I've worked at re-framing the way I approch close relationships; just like in the exersizes you recommended. Dr. Tracey, you're a blessing. I'm so thankful that yo share your knowledge with us. It's sound information that I can explore on my own. Love ya Doc!
Me and my sister were just talking about how trauma affects the development learning and how it can cause alot of issues problems and even can cause native behaviour later in life
Thanks for this video! I display the avoidant attachment tendencies for everyone except family. However, my twin sister (who does not have these avoidant tendencies) complains about my aloofness, which surprises me because I was making an effort. I found this video insightful and helpful.
wow- i very much appreciate your explanation style. i'm looking for a therapist/shrink and you just helped me out bigtime! i can explain right away what i'm wanting to focus on. thanks, dr. marks!
Thank you so much for making these videos. Healing can be so hard sometimes, it helps to have someone be straightforward and gentle talk about these subjects.
I read that book “Attached” with the magnet 🧲 on the front .. A male friend I was talking to at the time noticed my insecure attachment style and wanted to pass along information. I thought that was such a mature and thoughtful thing to do
that's so productive and mature
Was it a good book?
I read that book too! It was really good!
I appreciate the clarity you provided in this segment as you detailed the differences in the types of insecurity. It allowed me to identify the insecurity type within myself and the one in my partner. Very helpful. Thank you
In my last relationship I started out as a secure attachment style. After 2 years with a dismissive/anxious girlfriend I became more anxious than anything. I began accusing her of cheating because she was so unavailable and i wasnt used to that. My needs were not met, she was distant emotionally and physically. Wasn't nurturing or feminine like I want in a woman. After 2 years it fell apart. She was constantly triggered by everything and pulled away. I ended up leaving after she didn't acknowledge our 2 year anniversary. I'm now self reflecting and becoming my secure self again learning to be comfortable alone.
Yup, insecure anxious, that's me. Thank you for this!
You would be a good professor. You make your videos so interesting and you are good at breaking stuff down and making it seem simple.
Insecure avoident type, and my parentals always valued that about me, that i didn't care if they left the room.
Thank you Dr. Marks . You covered so many topics in a 10 minute video ! Tomorrow I'll watch again . You gave me a lot to think about . You have the gift of presenting complex ideas in a manner that I understand and want to know more about . I'm having a hard time quitting drinking , and of course I realize that it's a lousy form of self medication . I feel that it goes back to way back when ----- attachment .
This is good because often they reconize and fix the damage person and not what causes the damaged person as much as they should which Dr. Tracy does well and often like how the stomach is affected by our thinking and thoughts. The saying is more often true you're not crazy the people around you are. Thank you 😊
My mom was 18 and going to college when she had me. I was raised by "the village". My mom couldn't control her stress and anger and I was the victim of that or neglect. She never played with me and didn't like me playing by her because I was too loud. In 1st grade we wrote mothers day cards and I couldn't write anything nice about mine without help(that i eventually just said yes to any suggestion and theyed write it). I'll never forget that, everybody else had a full page. I was thrown against a washing machine in kindergarten for calling her a bitch. In 3rd grade i was beat with a pillow(complete blindside) while watching TV because the dirty house overwhelmed her and I was just chilling(I knew it was bad because my dad forced her into the bed room yelling at her). My mom also had a grudge against me for reminding her of my Bio-dad, I knew this because she HATED his guts. "My worst fear come true, you're just like RooBerTT" she would hiss (among other things of the sort) when I got in normal teen trouble. Break- I'm 20 and I didn't expect to be ranting all this, I thought all these emotions were gone by now.
Back to the story- In my elementary years I remember asking her who my real mom was, because there was no way it was her, since my real mom would love me. I grew up fast and independent because of all of this and it's made me strong, it still hurts though. Nowadays she's mellowed out and I have exceeded her and my dad's competence. We're mostly good these days, I love them and it makes it easier that I'm on top now. I respect them for being my parents at the end of the day, but who they are as people and they're abilities, I see them as inferior. (There was always some love, enough to keep me from completely disowning them)
Fine vid! I see several facets of my own experience in what you say here. Those Self-Compassion assessment scale items were really eye opening to me, because as I thought about each one, I realized how much progress I have made on them. That gives me a good feeling. I still have very poor attachment skills, but I'm not standing still on the problem any more.
its currently really late so im not going to watch this video right now but i just want to say that is a very cute top Dr Marks and you are amazing providing free resources like this!
What a treasure you are Dr Marks.
Thank you, Dr. Marks! This actually came at a very important time in my life.
I'm so glad K Olive! All the best to you. 👍🏽
Hi Dr. Marks just wanted to say thank you so much for posting these videos! 😁
They have been and continue to be a great help for me.
I appreciate this coming up on my recommendations.
Thankyou Dr Tracey. I am going to start a journal about this topic. I think it will help me understand myself. Your knowledge is very much appreciated.
Wonderful! That's a great idea Linda. 👍🏽
I remember my mom telling me that on my first day of preschool I didn’t cry or cling, but just went to play, and I didn’t care that she left. She seemed proud of me for that, but that’s almost a direct example of an avoidant personality, isn’t it?
Your videos really impact me. Its like you are here to tell me about me. Thank you!! 💛💛💛💛💛
I just realized I have an Insecure-Anxious attachment style tonight. . Only a few hours before the year year began. I randomly googled my feelings after spending all day sad/upset that someone I just met two days ago wasn’t texting me back like she was the day before. I often get anxiety over things and it makes me behave impulsively and cause me to need reassurance
After listening to this, I believe I am an anxious attachment style in the relationship in question. And they are an avoidant attachment style. This friend has even voiced that this is something they struggle with so I at least understand why we’re at the place we are and your video has helped me understand that better. But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel as though I give my all and they barely give anything or are extremely sporadic and inconsiderate of responding to messages etc. I am aware of my tendency towards attachment and insecurities, so I have tried to back off and be reasonable about my expectations as I can see this is a pattern that has repeated a few times with very important friends in my life. However, after careful consideration this week I decided to let my feelings out and explain how I felt about this. Ironically, no reply so far after two days..🤔🤔🙃 but at the same time, I felt such a sense of relief of finally sharing my feelings about the imbalance of our friendship and that I want and deserve more in my friendships. I don’t know what will happen, but I know I feel better about myself having expressed my needs. It feels like this is a very important . step in growing through my attachment tendencies. This is someone I know cares about me deeply, but the way it is played out ends up being hurtful. Thanks again this video really helps me understand these relationship dynamics. BTW, I was very kind and loving in my message yet expressed the truth and see the situation I was not belligerent or accusatory I knew that would not help for sure!
Does anyone else feel the only hope they have is having Dr. Marks as your doctor? I can't imagine having trust with anyone like I have with her. 😭
Okay for me personally I always want to see and talk with them. I always reach out but they don't call me. Then they get mad when I don't tell them about big things... I tend to think they wouldn't care so I did not mention it. My instincts were right. For the other family who did care they felt dejected. It's a challenging balance. 😳 its like hearing "l didn't want to see her" when they are knocking at the door.
Please make a video about how a parent can help their young adult child with mental illness? I love your videos. You do an excellent job explaining mental health issues.
Dr.Tracey just told me about myself all in one video 😩🙅🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Your top looks absolutely amazing on you ✨♥️
About avoidant personality disorder: I had a weird voice when I was in junior high school. Kids would laugh AT me and make fun of me for the way I talked. This was a BIG problem to me. How much talking would you do if you had a weird voice in junior high?
❤️ for you.
herokee heritage and am proud to take my son with me on our walks in the woods I play this and it calms our spirit. It is easy to lose touch with our roots in modern society when we unplug we return to that part of our spirit that’s connected to the earth. I am in recovery and spent 15 years as a heroin addict in and out of jail and eventually went to prison for my drug addiction. I learned a lot of self reliance but it was the connection to the earth and other people that I missed so terribly. I was incarcerated in a place where I didn’t see sunlight let alone go outside for 6 months and it was the most invigorating experience to have some sort of freedom again when I went to prison I was eventually able to walk outside even if it was on a compound and see animals again. I was reprimanded for feeding the geese and groundhogs that would wander onto the grounds. The prison guards would throw rocks at them while we tried to feed them. I have straightened out my life after the birth of my son but it would be a lie if I said I haven’t slipped since his birth I haven’t had a relapse since April of this year and everyday I fight to maintain my sobriety and freedom for my son. Alcohol and drug addiction has ravaged our people since colonization and it affects every culture there is. For me it has taken much from my life in terms of relationships, friends and ability to care for myself. I’m unsure why I am writing all of this as I find the need to tell my story as if it was unique, I want to let you know if you take time to read this and know someone who is struggling if not yourself that there is hope. That there is so much beauty in the world beyond our own struggle. Your never alone. I care about you and know that the earth does also. Take care of her too, she needs us.
Thank you. This is the best, most concise explanation of this dynamic that I have ever heard. I really appreciate your work. : )
I love how clear and practical her videos are!
I’ve always suspected I had a streak of anti-social in me. This explains it. I don’t rip people off or steal or bash people, I just like to stay arms length most of the time. And have no problem in telling people to jump if they deserve it. You do you, I’ll do me. Guys absolutely love it for the first year and a half…until I actually eventually trust them and start warming up, but not before a lot of pushing away and fighting so it ends at about 3 years.
Older and wiser now so I’m nowhere near as bad as I was before but now I’m so burnt out I’ve got nothing left to give & can’t be bothered
For anyone further interested in this topic, Adam Lane Smith has AMAZING content on attachment styles
Some things that I learned from him:
Anxious Attachment is soothed by context & reassurance from their partners; Avoidant Attachment is soothed by fairness & respect for personal space from their partners
Insecure Attachment in general can be reflected in one's neurochemistry & bonding hormones, and they can be modulated/balanced out by the behaviors and & attitudes one chooses to adopt
With a little practice, you absolutely can adopt a Secure Attachment & turn your life around; it's a skill set, all it takes is practice & self-forgiveness, shame is never an effective motivator
Dr Tracey GOOOOD 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you so much, again, Dr. Tracey for your great video. I guess I see traits of both anxious and avoidant types in me, and this gives me new insights that are worth talking about with my psychologist next week. Love you and your works as always.
I had this attachment style that whenever someone gives me attention I tend to connect first but when they retract I feel lonely , withdrawn and with few days,weeks or months I feel whole again and can't Persue the attachment again
I self blame myself that I am the one at fault
Dr Tracey .. u are the best for explaining the
Topic .all your videos are valuable , they have to be recommended for patients , new students in similar fields , wellness, others
Thank u a lot ,we love u 😘
a wonderfully interesting video as always!!! attachment style is fascinating to me. (unrelated but i love that shirt!!! it looks so cute and comfortable)
Thank you so much Tracey! Just saw you on a Zoom meeting with BDSA Charlotte a few weeks ago and I was kinda scared to show my face haha but I appreciate you so much
Thank you Dr. Marks! Keep up the great work! Not everyone can afford a therapist!
Dr. Marks, excellent explanation and information. I can't get close to anyone. I get clingy even when I try not to be and if the opposite sex shows me kindness, I get deeply infatuated or want to vomit with repulsion.. why is that?
Such a great video Dr. Tracey!
Thank you for taking your time to do this. You just answered questions in my head that I didn't realize were there. Thank you for all that you do.
This is amazing 👏. I stumbled upon you today. And already I'm feeling better. And validation I'm going to be okay and not the only one. Thank You...
Thank you for your Invaluable work. Your videos are great help for those who seek better understanding of mental health.
Warm greetings from the Netherlands. 🌷
This was very useful, even tho I’m not going to be a parent, bc I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally unable to. I’d I do, then I could ignore my kid on accident, which I don’t want to ever happen. I’m saying this bc I have adhd, so my brain is busy doing and thinking so many things, that I might “forget” that I have a kid. I know this, bc when I watch my sister, this happens frequently. We’re both on our iPads, and we forget that we exist. 😬 I think my generation is doing a good job with figuring out our lives before we have kids, unlike the boomer generation, bc they NEEDED to have kids right out of high school, bc that was the normal thing to do. ☺️
The ones that are close and considered good friends, i still feel like its transactional. Not on their end, just me. I treat them differently. Better, than most
This is such a great video! You’ve given useful information and explained it clearly. Thank you!
I learn a lot from you that I use for myself and the clients I work with, thank you so so much for making these videos
Oh no.....! I just pushed away the most amazing man I've known. I love him, but I'm so afraid of all the things that could go wrong.
Damn girl, you speak clear and truthful with zero ego. The perfect girlfriend!!!!!!😎
I’m clingy in relationships and i trust others easily and i dont get suspicious easily
Very informative. Thank you!
I really need help with this, I just want close and secure relationships, its whats most important to me in life, Im very harsh on myself and I feel like Im going to sabotage the relationship with the love of my life :( Im Fearful Avoidant (Or so I believe). This is a mix between avoidant, but can also lean into the Anxious style of attachment, Im currently going to therapy for multiple issues. Thank you for making this video Tracey, it brings me slight comfort and it means a lot to many people.
You're welcome Mr Sameh! There are other constructs for attachment styles and fearful avoidant is one of them. I'm happy for you that you're in therapy. All the best to you. 😊
I let people in easily. However, once you break trust I become completely uninterested.
just wanted to say i love that dress/shirt!
Please how does a person regain his self-confidence?
Confidence comes from within your soul same as emotions are your own no one MAKES you feel it is your responsibility. Love yourself
@@d.w.3325 tkanks
@@d.w.3325 What when you hate yourself with a burning selfdestructive passion? how to get out of that hellhole
Confidence comes from positive reassurance. You're not going to be a confident chess player if you never played chess or won against anyone.
On youtube there's an audio book called 'Psycho-cybernetics (the best self-help book ever)' Iv just finished chapter one and you'll find yourself saying "wait what really!?" about 10x.
I was wondering how I was going to verbalize a question to my therapist to address my avoidance with romantic relationships. Thank you!😃
You're so welcome!
Thank you! Your content is incredible! I’m totally talking about this in therapy next session 🥳