My daughter was dating a young man she met in college. I liked him but not for her because he was immature and selfish, dishonest. My daughter is very thoughtful and kind . He broke up with her and she was so hurt 😭 he came back after a few weeks asking if they could try again. I told her that I wouldn't give him another chance you deserve so much better. She reluctantly told him no. Within 2 years she met her husband in church. A very smart , thoughtful handsome young man. The ex boyfriend has gotten a young lady pregnant. I asked my daughter, " now aren't you glad you didn't get back together with him ?! She smiled and said yes. She's happily married to a good man now. Thank you Lord Jesus 🙏🏾
@@Pretty19991 Thank you. When your kid is hurting you hurt too . I talk to her about my mistakes and experiences I'm sure that helps too. She's a good person who truly loves God not just a seat filler in church and I know that helps tremendously!!
Here's the other part to this that ladies MUST understand. It's not just him knowing it's you. You need to know it's him. God doesn't just give clarity to one person. He'll let you both know. Don't fall for every guy saying that you're the one...the devil is a liar.
My husband proposed within a few months. He told me when he first met me that I was going to be his wife; I thought it was FUNNY! How was I going to be his wife and we didn’t even know each other? Here we are 29 years later married for 28 years😂😂😂😂. A man knows like the brother said.
I've been single for 6 years..... I met the one with that spark...there was no proposal....2 months in... " were getting married ".... and that's it! Do not settle for a wishy washy man...we are both 36 and our life Is crazy beautiful.. u are 11000% correct sir.
Gina he did not say to get married in 60 days! Your dopamine hasn’t even settled. While I wish you success, what’s the rush? You haven’t even experienced this man in every season. This could be love or it could be love bombing. 🤞🏽
Happy for you baby girl. I'm also 36 met a wonderful man 2 months ago. It was an instant connection, 2 weeks in he said he wants us to be exclusive. Now we are planning on getting church and families involved. Easiest relationship I've ever had.
Yes, Ladies it took me some years to learn the importance of healing from daddy issues, childhood trauma and past toxic relationships. Today, I have boundaries, I know how to wait. I got into therapy. Great choice. ❤
I agree with you @ramonaphillipsteach3284. Setting boundaries is very important and I just found that out and I am also ready to wait. Wishing you all the best and pray the waiting was worthwhile. ❤️❤️🙏🏿👍👏🏾
What most people really don’t understand is children are a blessing. You can lose your life giving birth to the child coming in the world. Postpartum depression is real. When that woman tries to make a family with someone that’s not really there mentally emotionally and or physically. It more of a burden. This is real, your speaking facts.
This is so true! When I first dated my now husband he told me he was going to make me his wife and keep me barefoot and pregnant lol🤦🏽♀️. After 8 years apart we came back together and were married 6 months later. 4 kids later, we've been married 12 years now💪🏾
I agree, in the first 12 months...you're getting through the infatuation, discovering quirks, finding common ground...& realizing if you can/can not deal with one another. If you CAN deal with one another's individuality, that's a wrap...because it takes a lifetime to (never) know another human being. Commit to the lifetime of learning. Max is 24 months in my world. The first 12 months figuring out basics & the next 6 months establishing "we" & "us" as an item. Then long term commitment with the last 6 months making US official (wedding planning, courthouse...whatever). Those times might be shorter. Never longer. If at 18 months, we're still unsure, we won't magically become sure. We're cool tho - let's part ways on a "we had a really good relationship" terms.
My husband & I knew within a few months we were meant for each other & he proposed quick he said he knew he wanted to marry me the first time we met up & hung out.. You can only keep a man that wants to be kept & that's real shit.. That's the only way.. We are happy married soulmates frfr..
My dear there are others aren’t want to be kept, married good wife, always cheated her on different wives and says It’sn’t problem because is man and when wife says samething he says the only thing you can do to keep relationship is to apologize me because am a man, when am right or wrong ,God bless you,but they are man are not worthy to kept,thx
@@user-fe1yl8gd7k My husband wanted to be kept I was the one for him & he was the one I wanted to keep he was the one for me.. Forever& Alwayz meant to be..
@@user-fe1yl8gd7kthere are always signs that a man isn’t any good, we just HAVE to look out for ourselves because men are predators and will get your heart before they damage it with exactly who they are showing you to be.
Marriage is overrated. However, marriage is a good thing. A lot of black men are broken and carry a lot of trauma. They need to heal before committment.
I don't even hesitate to say it's not just black men that are broken, it's men in general that are broken, and what has broken them is women stealing their manliness. #1) Women that want to be men and take the women away from real men. #2) Men that want to be women and confuse the whole population as to what their real position and job is between a man and a woman! #3) Women's liberation and feminism, has often times stolen the spotlight from what the Bible says a woman's position is in her life, especially as a married woman. #4) Jobs that should go to a man because of their strength and physical power oftentimes now are given to women to prove that they can do a job that a man can do.😮 From what I have observed men in general, Black, White or any color of a man in between, are under attack as to whether or not they even have a position in society. The Bible is the answer. Romans 15:4 tells us that "THE BIBLE is WRITTEN FOR OUR INSTRUCTION that we might have hope." People aren't likely to revert back to the Bible if they never paid much attention to it in the first place. But those that do pay attention to it, they can have a blessed life. 🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤
Yes but they need to get over it. Shackles are now off, our enslaved ancestors had it hard. They have more opportunities in life now and need to move up. They're a big reason why our race can't move forward 😢
Ladies don’t get in the bed with no man that is not your husband. Not even if he’s your fiancé! God’s way is marriage. Sometimes in dating the woman don’t want him. He’s not the one. I’ve been there. I’ve dated just for fun but I knew he wasn’t the one I wanted to be married to.💍❤️
Sadly i waited for a whole 2 decades to get married and it still did not happen till i decided to walk away this year and i must say that was the best decision i've ever made for myself, i'm not afraid of starting all over again, i know it will happen when the time is right😊
@@lizziemokhine2742 for me it was 15. I left him two years ago. He’s still unmarried searching for the “ special one”. I am honestly grateful he didn’t marry me, I realized I would have been stuck.
Congratulating you on leaving because I can be difficult I’m glad you made that decision and hopefully you feel free and get to learn you and know yourself and bring your best self to the next person who will give you their best self. ❤
I had an ex who I was with for a year. I asked him when he wants to get married and he said in 5years … then he said he cannot date somebody and get married to them in few years it will be up to 3 years or 5years … my peopleeeeee I ran without looking back… nobody has time to play games. I was so happy leaving that relationship with no direction. It’s the best decision I made this year
This is FIRE! and the most frank truth I've heard. I got lucky that my husband did marry me after 6 years together, but to get that I had to delineate for him girlfriend duties versus wife duties. "Can you fix me a plate?" I'd say "Oh no sweetheart, that's wifely duties. I'm just the girlfriend." "Are you washing clothes?" "Yes, I'm washing my clothes. No I won't wash yours, that's wifely duties, I'm just a girlfriend." Not only did we get married, he planned, carried out, decorated, sent all the invitations, got the preacher, location, and bought me a car that year. But it is very true that the man already knows, and as women we can't make it so easy by living together and giving everything so that he's comfortable and there's nothing to strive for. I had to become the challenge, I had to become the prey to pull the predator out..... Just my humble opinion.
My fiance proposed to me in ten months,but we talked about it months before so i totally agree 💯 you are on point God bless yes, a man knows not a boy im so in love with my future husband and we were friends so many years before ❤he is my everything the love of my life
This is so accurate!! I was a true example of this!!!! That’s why I’m single because I will not waste my time any longer on any man that just want a every once in a while relationship or a telephone relationship!!! I met an individual 4 months after graduating high school (1996).What I thought was a serious relationship (months after we met), I saw differently. No matter how faithful, humble, or respectful that I was, I wasn’t the one! Women, listen to this message! It’s the truth! Don’t allow yourself to continue to be (I think I’m the one or I know I’m the one) then you’ve still gotten no further since the day you met him and it became a relationship. It’s not worth it! No matter if the intimacy is greater than the best ice cream and cake ever made! Your time is precious!!
Like he said a man knows and in all honesty we know as well. ( I’ll give the benefit of the doubt for some, but most of us do know better .)We just don’t want to accept some things but we know … It does hit differently though and confirm a lot of things when you get a man’s perspective from a man!!!
A man knows pretty early on if you're his wife. If you align with his dream girl, he knows. Dont be the placeholder and get hush ring abd be engaged for years with no marriage. And he who finds a wife, finds a good thing. ♥️💍
It’s not always true in all cases that delay means the man isn’t interested in the woman or not serious about marriage. Many things could be the reason for the delay as society differs. It could sometimes be financial issues that the man is trying to fix and put things together so he can give her a good life, at least for a start. Let’s not put all men in the same box.
But atleast he should talk about it and show you that it is in his plans. Some men don't even want to be asked about it. So what would someone think? Ladies have to protect their youthful years when they still have the opportunity to move on..
I needed this as a man seriously I’m with a wonderful woman who actually commented on this video lol. Thank you brother for this advice, I appreciate it and needed it we have been together for two years and I would like to propose to her next year it’s time to truly man up
@@lenaluaces4232 I don’t need more time. I’ve had two years being in a relationship with her already, and I’ve always known I wanted to marry her, but due to finances, I haven’t been able to properly propose to her. So this is the year that I know I must do it.
@@rialee9789 I’m planning and actively working on proposing to her this year. I actually had a four year plan but I reduced it to three years and this being the third year I knew I wanted to propose to her this year
@@rialee9789 no I’m planning on proposing to her this year because if I’m being completely honest, I am simply tired of just only dating her when I know honestly that she’s is my wife
I was w/ my son's father for 15 yrs we were engaged. It didn't work out. He decided to marry someone else after a yr, but during that year we were trying to work things out. Now, he is divorced or going thru the divorce after 5 yrs of his marriage. We are civil now and try to keep it peaceful since we have a child together. Ladies a real relationship is with Jesus and He will never leave you or forsake you. He is the only one who truly loves you❤. Stay bless everyone!!
What exactly were you trying to “work out,” with your married ex? The man was married and you were sniffing around trying to rekindle that old thang. That’s not honorable. You ostensibly became the other woman. Further, unless that marriage was destructive and in some way affected your child while in their care, I can see your need to be privy to what goes on in there household. Other than that, their relationship should not have been your concern. By your own admission, you became the other woman. Did you have something to do with their impending divorce?
My cousin said he knew he was gonna marry his wife when he first met her at a cook out. She is a clean freak like his mother was and she is dark-skinned like me. He found what he was looking for. I am so happy for them. They courted for 7 years before they married and now they have forever to go!
I think you have no business going into a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to marry you. If he is “thinking about” it, offer him platonic friendship until you both figure out whether or not you want to be married. I think women who cheapen themselves by dating without a marriage commitment make think harder for the “woman folk”…😢
That's probably because women are emotional creatures, and men are logical creatures, and so therefore a lot of times they think through what they want, and women dream❤ through what they want.🤔
2 months is too short i would say 5-6 months or 9-10 if u wanna be extra careful...bc u could get married to someone who love bombs you and then treats you like shit
Nope! I was friends with a man for over 10 years and we started liking each other right away but waited and till recently decided to be serious and it was so worth it!!
I was in LDR whom have never met we just face time but seriously he was willing to meet my family, he bought ring n all that, but he doesn’t call me or text me , he was wasting my time, so finally I started dating a guy whom I know since October but kept rejecting him but now we dating n he’s willing to marry asap……. A man knows who his heart belong to…
Good morning, from St. Paul, MN. I came to RUclips to play a certain song when I came across this message. Thank you for breaking it down with simple timelines for dating and modest advice. Last night, I had asked a friend, "How long should you date someone until you get married?". I know dating isn't a one size fits all. I was dating with intentions to get married. However, I realized that after 5 years with one man, then 3 years with another man, not every man dates with intention to marry EVEN WHEN YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT MARRIAGE.😢😊
Thank you for sharing. What is meant to be will happen. Nobody is perfect but if someone waste' your time and its been over 3 months. Leave. Focus also on your goals and education Marriage is not always the end goal. Do not focus fully on a men for your happiness ladies.🌻
Yeah I’m running if he’s not the one after a year. I don’t care how nice you are. Anybody can be nice. Made a year a few days ago. He’s not ready so I left. My time is everything to me and it’s not to be wasted
You are absolutely correct. But it seems like many men don’t even want marriage anymore. As you get older as a women many of us not all stop looking forward to ever getting married, because I honestly believe many men , are not interested in making you a wife. Seems like a fairy tale.
Steve Harvey oftentimes gives relationship advice as I'm sure you might know. He has also often times said not to give men sex.😮 that is the problem with society, women give it away for free and therefore man has no reason to marry woman.😅😢😮 If you want a man to take you seriously in a relationship do not give the dessert before the main meal. In fact hold out on the desert all together until you are married to him. If he won't wait for you then he's not good enough for you.🎉❤ The Bible gives women a reason to stay celibate until marriage. Blame it on the Bible why you don't want to have sex with him before marriage.😅 Make sure to have some scriptures ready to show him though because they speak volumes.😁
What is crazy is my so called boyfriend/father of my son been together for 8 yrs not even engaged just got in my car and heard what he was saying and got mad saying this was negative 😂😂😂👍😳🤦♀️🫤🙄😮😅😤😡💀💔 I went off and told him this was a man speaking life into women and that he would be single soon
I agree. Its not even about the clock. God said the man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. Meaning he will leave his habits and take up responsibilities for his wife. Not concubine or "partner". God said so!!!!! Even if you are 50
My first husband proposed after 3 months. I was married to him for 17 years. The last man that I met, (I'm now 68) asked me if I wanted to share my life with someone after 15, 20 minutes top of talking to me. I'm marrying him. Lol
I ❤this vid! I'm having a difficult time meeting & dating someone who can accept the fact that I'm 5 years celibate... Once they start talking sex, asking sexual questions, I tell them, hey I'm celibate, are you okay with that? 1-2 days later they ghost me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I'm celibate because it allows me to be honest, upfront AND I can see who's only interested in me for sex. Also, time away having sex has allowed me to get to know me better, heal from past, unhealthy relationships, build my confidence, love me moreeeeee than ever as well as, I have clearer mind, soul & I'm able to see the RED FLAGS better than ever before... Yes, I'd love to be in a relationship, unfortunately my sexual status is tooooo much for the wrong guy! God will send me the right MAN for me, I'm being patient and confident HE will make it happen ❤❤❤❤
Exactly! This man tried to tell me that he was with his Ex girlfriend for 8 years because there was going through a lot of things (her cheating 🤷🏽♀️). But when I asked why so long, he got offended and said that everyone doesn’t marry so fast and You don’t know a person even in 8 years🤷🏽♀️!!
I think I like that idea 💡 😉 give the guy one year from the start of the attraction 🧲 when it is obvious to both of you that there is an attraction.😅 I have a guy that I know likes me. BECAUSE every time I see him he gravitates right to me. He never walks the other way when he sees me coming.😂 And now he is taking to giving me a hug every time he sees me. I asked him: "How did you know I need a hug? and he said: "You don't need a hug you want a hug."😮😅 So far I'm not sure what to think of him. But he's got about 6 more months to set the matter straight.🎉❤😊
Both of us should have what we want. I was in an unbalanced scale and when I brought up his selfishness, he told me I always throw up in his face what I give and do. My breaking point was when my Mom was dying w stage 4 breast cancer and all I asked him to do is call me and let me vent. He didn't call me for 1 wk. He sd because he is not emotional and also because he just didn't want to. He had some things he needed to take care of and I wouldn't help him. I was there for him 7 yrs. With all his crying, ptsd, holding him down through prison, and hearing about his grown kids.
This is so true... I have a friend who dated a woman for 12 plus years. She asked him throughout their relationship for marriage. He ended the relationship. When they started dating, the young woman was in her late thirty's. Now the guy is 65 yrs old and by himself. Mislead that girl for 13 yrs.
I live with him for 12 yrs with two kids, no married and he took another woman who work in his company, but I thanks God im healing and moving on but he dont want me to be successful and he dont want me to be with another Men I arleady waste my time and I think all Men are the same.
It doesn't matter whether he wants you to move on to a new man or not--tell him to kick rocks. Don't be loud with it, but be firm, feminine, and say it with your whole chest. Then distance yourself. And if he wants to see the kids, let him do so as you politely keep a safe distance (either another part of the house or he can take them for an outing). He's not being fair, but forget him: let yourself heal
No it is only a cliche that 'men are all the same.' Look at the different women that you know in your life,🤔 ARE THEY all the same?? Likely they are NOT all the same. They are not all the same any more than men are all the same. It takes upbringing, lifestyle, parents that taught you,and siblings that supported you, it also takes your relationship with God and how much Faith you have in his word the Bible . THERE is so much behind what a person is like in comparison to another person.🎉❤
It doesn't take a man months or years to see the light. Stop giving up the most expensive intangible gift you have, your time! He's not sleeping in multiple hotels because he doesn't know where he wants to live. A surrogate gets paid a minimum of $32k JUST for sacrificing her body to carry a child, not including other expenses, and you're doing it for just a ring?! You're doing great by yourself only to crave marriage and have a heavier load while he still works the same job. DON'T! You're taking care of more responsibilities while he stops taking care of the essentials that he was doing when you weren't in his life? NO! Who really benefits? It ain't usually you, ladies. STOP IT! If marrying is not greatly benefitting your life, don't fantasize and crave being a wife. You live longer as a single woman anyway...
If you truly love somebody and they are in your heart, they aren't going anywhere. Have you ever looked into love stories from the past, that were famous love stories? LIKE Romeo and Juliet? I've even seen some pretty awesome love stories in my parents and my grandparents and my great-grandparents.❤🎉❤ LOVE IS REAL it does exist, but it is rare these days, because people give everything away to a person free. Sometimes on the first date.😮 ONE LAST THOUGHT BEFORE I GO... I have seen past pictures of me when I was single and when I was married, and I always look happier and prettier and more confident when I am happily married then when I am sadly single 😢
See I needed to view this . I was prepared to walk away and told him but he didn’t want me to. But then he eventually showed different behaviors of distance.
Both sides should be contributing equally! Resaprosity, " I can't give you what you not giving me"... imbalanced scale.. If your the one doing all the work, contributing, communicating? Then that's one sided. If a man loves you, he communicates with you, reaches out. If he doesn't, there's your answer. He's not it. 🎯💯 Putting in the Effort instead of making excuses!!! Standing in intentions!
I agree. I have been married twice. Really only two men in my life and married both of them. Equally, I never wasted my time with men whom I wouldn’t have considered marriage material. 👍
My ex used to say he loves me and he wants a future together, marry, have kids. But he had no job, had debts, he was working on new carrier, erning and never really prioritized me and our coming together. We really had obstacles. We've been long distance, in 2 different countries, very far away, and Covid came, and so many other obstacles. It was just really not easy for us to come together and I started to get really frustrated... Initially he started talking about marriage very quickly, and that he feels like he has been searching for me his whole life, and was acting right, but circumstances were not helping us and he started changing...
Men usually know for sure 1 based off if they are attracted to u and can stand looking at u 😂 and 2 your personality and everything else is after...sometimes 2 can be whether u have a relationship with God...but yea their eyes let them know first tho depends on the type they are into 😂
My daughter was dating a young man she met in college. I liked him but not for her because he was immature and selfish, dishonest. My daughter is very thoughtful and kind . He broke up with her and she was so hurt 😭 he came back after a few weeks asking if they could try again. I told her that I wouldn't give him another chance you deserve so much better. She reluctantly told him no. Within 2 years she met her husband in church. A very smart , thoughtful handsome young man. The ex boyfriend has gotten a young lady pregnant. I asked my daughter, " now aren't you glad you didn't get back together with him ?! She smiled and said yes. She's happily married to a good man now. Thank you Lord Jesus 🙏🏾
U are a great mother for protecting your daughter, kudos!
Thank you, that is so encouraging
@@Pretty19991 Thank you. When your kid is hurting you hurt too . I talk to her about my mistakes and experiences I'm sure that helps too. She's a good person who truly loves God not just a seat filler in church and I know that helps tremendously!!
@@lyshawade5029 Thank you. Stick to your standards and don't be afraid to walk away and let the wrong man go so you can make room for the RIGHT man .
I agree with most of what you say. However, I know men who marry women with 5 children no to low income.
Here's the other part to this that ladies MUST understand. It's not just him knowing it's you. You need to know it's him. God doesn't just give clarity to one person. He'll let you both know. Don't fall for every guy saying that you're the one...the devil is a liar.
Amen to that
Facts! Discernment is so important!
That part🎉 you gonna both know ✨💯🙌🏼🙏
Good point on saying, "we both should know"
Period
My husband proposed within a few months. He told me when he first met me that I was going to be his wife; I thought it was FUNNY! How was I going to be his wife and we didn’t even know each other? Here we are 29 years later married for 28 years😂😂😂😂. A man knows like the brother said.
Sweet.
🙏🏼❤️🕊️🙌🏼 beautiful testimony
U didn't get 2 know each other?
Did y'all have sex B4 marriage?
@@loopsvideoloops no.
My sister met her husband and they were married in 6 months. They are still married 30 years later.
My husband and I were married one year to the date of when we met. When you know, you know.
Perfect example of union for me. A guy knows from the start
I've been single for 6 years..... I met the one with that spark...there was no proposal....2 months in... " were getting married ".... and that's it! Do not settle for a wishy washy man...we are both 36 and our life Is crazy beautiful.. u are 11000% correct sir.
Gina he did not say to get married in 60 days! Your dopamine hasn’t even settled. While I wish you success, what’s the rush? You haven’t even experienced this man in every season. This could be love or it could be love bombing. 🤞🏽
Super blissed for you, Beloved.
Wow, ur super blessed, so happy for you.
I am still praying over it and trusting the LORD
Exactly. When you find the one you know. There is no hesitation
Happy for you baby girl. I'm also 36 met a wonderful man 2 months ago. It was an instant connection, 2 weeks in he said he wants us to be exclusive. Now we are planning on getting church and families involved. Easiest relationship I've ever had.
Yes, Ladies it took me some years to learn the importance of healing from daddy issues, childhood trauma and past toxic relationships. Today, I have boundaries, I know how to wait. I got into therapy. Great choice. ❤
I am on this journey with you. Trying to find myself. Hugs and great energy to you. ❤
I agree with you @ramonaphillipsteach3284. Setting boundaries is very important and I just found that out and I am also ready to wait. Wishing you all the best and pray the waiting was worthwhile. ❤️❤️🙏🏿👍👏🏾
Amen
What most people really don’t understand is children are a blessing. You can lose your life giving birth to the child coming in the world. Postpartum depression is real. When that woman tries to make a family with someone that’s not really there mentally emotionally and or physically. It more of a burden. This is real, your speaking facts.
Also, if your spouse tells you no more having children respect them.
It’s best to be a wife to a husband who is gonna be there for you & his baby what ever a wife goes through her husband’s will be there step by step
I made that mistake, and I’m so depressed and broken hearted over it. I wish I could redue my life honestly
You are correct! I met my husband we dated, was engaged and married within a 2 year span. We were married for 21 years until he passed away.❤
Sorry for your loss.
This is so true! When I first dated my now husband he told me he was going to make me his wife and keep me barefoot and pregnant lol🤦🏽♀️. After 8 years apart we came back together and were married 6 months later. 4 kids later, we've been married 12 years now💪🏾
Is he a provider though?
@@Rozaly3 Absolutely💪🏾🙌🏽🙏🏽
@@michellethomas4928What kind of question is that? As though you would have married him otherwise
Thats true love right there🥹. Sometimes its doesn’t work out the first time round💞
@@sivialove475 Amen❤️
All you have to do is breathe. The best statement I’ve heard in year 2023 👏❤
This Brotha said if a man really wants you all you have to do is just breathe and be present! I totally get the concept he’s referring to!
Sis....didn't he drop that mic!!👏👏👏💯❤️❤️❤️ Yassssss definitely taking that into 2024🙌
This is a word.
Hint: Not 7 to 10 years. A minimum of 1 year. Maximum 3 years. 2 each their own. It's your time. Know your value. Or worth.
I concur that 👏👏🙌😌
Period I always tell people 1-3 years because the first year you’re still getting to know each other
@@queenbee4906 the rest of your lives you’re still getting to know each other.
It's been 7 years for me and I'm not even gonna hang on this bs anymore🎉
I agree, in the first 12 months...you're getting through the infatuation, discovering quirks, finding common ground...& realizing if you can/can not deal with one another.
If you CAN deal with one another's individuality, that's a wrap...because it takes a lifetime to (never) know another human being. Commit to the lifetime of learning.
Max is 24 months in my world. The first 12 months figuring out basics & the next 6 months establishing "we" & "us" as an item. Then long term commitment with the last 6 months making US official (wedding planning, courthouse...whatever). Those times might be shorter. Never longer.
If at 18 months, we're still unsure, we won't magically become sure. We're cool tho - let's part ways on a "we had a really good relationship" terms.
My husband & I knew within a few months we were meant for each other & he proposed quick he said he knew he wanted to marry me the first time we met up & hung out.. You can only keep a man that wants to be kept & that's real shit.. That's the only way.. We are happy married soulmates frfr..
My dear there are others aren’t want to be kept, married good wife, always cheated her on different wives and says It’sn’t problem because is man and when wife says samething he says the only thing you can do to keep relationship is to apologize me because am a man, when am right or wrong ,God bless you,but they are man are not worthy to kept,thx
@@user-fe1yl8gd7k My husband wanted to be kept I was the one for him & he was the one I wanted to keep he was the one for me.. Forever& Alwayz meant to be..
@@user-fe1yl8gd7kthere are always signs that a man isn’t any good, we just HAVE to look out for ourselves because men are predators and will get your heart before they damage it with exactly who they are showing you to be.
Marriage is overrated. However, marriage is a good thing. A lot of black men are broken and carry a lot of trauma. They need to heal before committment.
History has broken them up.
I don't even hesitate to say it's not just black men that are broken, it's men in general that are broken, and what has broken them is women stealing their manliness.
#1) Women that want to be men and take the women away from real men.
#2) Men that want to be women and confuse the whole population as to what their real position and job is between a man and a woman!
#3) Women's liberation and feminism, has often times stolen the spotlight from what the Bible says a woman's position is in her life, especially as a married woman.
#4) Jobs that should go to a man because of their strength and physical power oftentimes now are given to women to prove that they can do a job that a man can do.😮
From what I have observed men in general, Black, White or any color of a man in between, are under attack as to whether or not they even have a position in society.
The Bible is the answer. Romans 15:4 tells us that "THE BIBLE is WRITTEN FOR OUR INSTRUCTION that we might have hope."
People aren't likely to revert back to the Bible if they never paid much attention to it in the first place. But those that do pay attention to it, they can have a blessed life.
🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤
Oh so true
Yes but they need to get over it. Shackles are now off, our enslaved ancestors had it hard. They have more opportunities in life now and need to move up. They're a big reason why our race can't move forward 😢
@@denisejones7215 interesting. Yeah they can and should seek counseling.
Ladies don’t get in the bed with no man that is not your husband. Not even if he’s your fiancé! God’s way is marriage. Sometimes in dating the woman don’t want him. He’s not the one. I’ve been there. I’ve dated just for fun but I knew he wasn’t the one I wanted to be married to.💍❤️
LOL. Purity culture is toxic and abusive as hell.
Sadly i waited for a whole 2 decades to get married and it still did not happen till i decided to walk away this year and i must say that was the best decision i've ever made for myself, i'm not afraid of starting all over again, i know it will happen when the time is right😊
2 DECADES??? TELL ME MORE?? After 10 years of not getting married, what made you stay another 5, 10 years? 😮😢
@@MsStarr53 Hope i guess 🥺
@@lizziemokhine2742 for me it was 15. I left him two years ago. He’s still unmarried searching for the “ special one”. I am honestly grateful he didn’t marry me, I realized I would have been stuck.
what were his excuses
Congratulating you on leaving because I can be difficult I’m glad you made that decision and hopefully you feel free and get to learn you and know yourself and bring your best self to the next person who will give you their best self. ❤
Wish I’d heard this in my youth! This should be mandatory education for young women today!💯
I had an ex who I was with for a year. I asked him when he wants to get married and he said in 5years … then he said he cannot date somebody and get married to them in few years it will be up to 3 years or 5years … my peopleeeeee I ran without looking back… nobody has time to play games. I was so happy leaving that relationship with no direction. It’s the best decision I made this year
😂 I'm happy that you love yourself and you ran. 5 years?? For what? Is he the only man left on this earth that you need to wait for that long.
I've been proposed to 3 times. It didn't take any of them years to propose. Yes, men know what they want.
This is FIRE! and the most frank truth I've heard. I got lucky that my husband did marry me after 6 years together, but to get that I had to delineate for him girlfriend duties versus wife duties. "Can you fix me a plate?" I'd say "Oh no sweetheart, that's wifely duties. I'm just the girlfriend." "Are you washing clothes?" "Yes, I'm washing my clothes. No I won't wash yours, that's wifely duties, I'm just a girlfriend." Not only did we get married, he planned, carried out, decorated, sent all the invitations, got the preacher, location, and bought me a car that year. But it is very true that the man already knows, and as women we can't make it so easy by living together and giving everything so that he's comfortable and there's nothing to strive for. I had to become the challenge, I had to become the prey to pull the predator out..... Just my humble opinion.
Men, know yourself before committing to anyone!❤
Everything you said is completely accurate. Thank you for advising women against these users.
You are so welcome
A man didn't have to tell me this.... I got it from our mom and my own experiences. He's right though.
He knows
Wow u are deep bro
My fiance proposed to me in ten months,but we talked about it months before so i totally agree 💯 you are on point God bless yes, a man knows not a boy im so in love with my future husband and we were friends so many years before ❤he is my everything the love of my life
This is so accurate!! I was a true example of this!!!! That’s why I’m single because I will not waste my time any longer on any man that just want a every once in a while relationship or a telephone relationship!!! I met an individual 4 months after graduating high school (1996).What I thought was a serious relationship (months after we met), I saw differently. No matter how faithful, humble, or respectful that I was, I wasn’t the one! Women, listen to this message! It’s the truth! Don’t allow yourself to continue to be (I think I’m the one or I know I’m the one) then you’ve still gotten no further since the day you met him and it became a relationship. It’s not worth it! No matter if the intimacy is greater than the best ice cream and cake ever made! Your time is precious!!
Yes Konscious you're already hitting the nail on the head thumbs up 👍👍
You are just good
U always with the truth to hurt our feelings 😂😂😂
Like he said a man knows and in all honesty we know as well. ( I’ll give the benefit of the doubt for some, but most of us do know better .)We just don’t want to accept some things but we know … It does hit differently though and confirm a lot of things when you get a man’s perspective from a man!!!
A man knows pretty early on if you're his wife. If you align with his dream girl, he knows. Dont be the placeholder and get hush ring abd be engaged for years with no marriage. And he who finds a wife, finds a good thing. ♥️💍
Nothing but the FACTS….💪💪💪
It’s not always true in all cases that delay means the man isn’t interested in the woman or not serious about marriage. Many things could be the reason for the delay as society differs. It could sometimes be financial issues that the man is trying to fix and put things together so he can give her a good life, at least for a start. Let’s not put all men in the same box.
But atleast he should talk about it and show you that it is in his plans.
Some men don't even want to be asked about it. So what would someone think? Ladies have to protect their youthful years when they still have the opportunity to move on..
@@sarahshannonnamono9825I’m 44 and I’m going to always have the option to move on, even if I have to be without a man. Otherwise, I concur❤😊
If the man isn't qualified to be a husband financially, he should stay single.
I needed this as a man seriously I’m with a wonderful woman who actually commented on this video lol. Thank you brother for this advice, I appreciate it and needed it we have been together for two years and I would like to propose to her next year it’s time to truly man up
You think it‘s time but you need another year… why? Really curious what your reasoning is:)
@@lenaluaces4232 I don’t need more time. I’ve had two years being in a relationship with her already, and I’ve always known I wanted to marry her, but due to finances, I haven’t been able to properly propose to her. So this is the year that I know I must do it.
You’ve been together for 2 years ,want to propose but will wait another year?! That sounds crazy.
@@rialee9789 I’m planning and actively working on proposing to her this year. I actually had a four year plan but I reduced it to three years and this being the third year I knew I wanted to propose to her this year
@@rialee9789 no I’m planning on proposing to her this year because if I’m being completely honest, I am simply tired of just only dating her when I know honestly that she’s is my wife
I was w/ my son's father for 15 yrs we were engaged. It didn't work out. He decided to marry someone else after a yr, but during that year we were trying to work things out. Now, he is divorced or going thru the divorce after 5 yrs of his marriage. We are civil now and try to keep it peaceful since we have a child together. Ladies a real relationship is with Jesus and He will never leave you or forsake you. He is the only one who truly loves you❤. Stay bless everyone!!
What exactly were you trying to “work out,” with your married ex? The man was married and you were sniffing around trying to rekindle that old thang. That’s not honorable. You ostensibly became the other woman. Further, unless that marriage was destructive and in some way affected your child while in their care, I can see your need to be privy to what goes on in there household. Other than that, their relationship should not have been your concern. By your own admission, you became the other woman. Did you have something to do with their impending divorce?
AMEN
Amen
Damn! That broke my heart
Very powerful! I love this truth spoken right here 🙌🏾❤️
I wish I was taught this as a young girl.
My cousin said he knew he was gonna marry his wife when he first met her at a cook out. She is a clean freak like his mother was and she is dark-skinned like me. He found what he was looking for. I am so happy for them. They courted for 7 years before they married and now they have forever to go!
If this was an ideal world and kids were born into marriage,there would be less trauma and brokenness
Dropping gems 💎 I hope someone in my family listens.
Preach!!!! The sad truth is that so many women are in Denial and will hear only what they want to hear.
I think you have no business going into a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to marry you. If he is “thinking about” it, offer him platonic friendship until you both figure out whether or not you want to be married.
I think women who cheapen themselves by dating without a marriage commitment make think harder for the “woman folk”…😢
He told no lies 💯💪🏼
Actually you men knows if the woman is the one within 2months. But we women we are so blind to see 😢
That's probably because women are emotional creatures, and men are logical creatures, and so therefore a lot of times they think through what they want, and women dream❤ through what they want.🤔
2 months is too short i would say 5-6 months or 9-10 if u wanna be extra careful...bc u could get married to someone who love bombs you and then treats you like shit
NOTHING.BUT.FACTS.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you for confirming the 2 years timeframe…my mother has been telling me that since childhood. ❤❤❤
See men speaking hits women different. We would screamed at for talking this truthful
Everything he said is a fact.. I totally agree... This is the best advice I've heard from a relationship blogger. Straight to the point! ❤
Nope! I was friends with a man for over 10 years and we started liking each other right away but waited and till recently decided to be serious and it was so worth it!!
I like when you used the word "leverage". It's a word that I don't often hear and I had forgotten about it but you are right, it is very important.😊
I was in LDR whom have never met we just face time but seriously he was willing to meet my family, he bought ring n all that, but he doesn’t call me or text me , he was wasting my time, so finally I started dating a guy whom I know since October but kept rejecting him but now we dating n he’s willing to marry asap……. A man knows who his heart belong to…
LDR 😅 he doesn’t call or text lol
So true. Within 3 months, the men in my life were talking about marriage.
Good morning, from St. Paul, MN. I came to RUclips to play a certain song when I came across this message. Thank you for breaking it down with simple timelines for dating and modest advice. Last night, I had asked a friend, "How long should you date someone until you get married?". I know dating isn't a one size fits all. I was dating with intentions to get married. However, I realized that after 5 years with one man, then 3 years with another man, not every man dates with intention to marry EVEN WHEN YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT MARRIAGE.😢😊
Same here
You’re totally right
.....precious advices. Thank you!
Ive had a few guys tell me I was the one for them~ so ultimately its up to you to determine whether or not he's the one for you!
I like this one.
Facts 😅We just gotta be the hottest piece of🍫 in the room
Thank you for sharing. What is meant to be will happen. Nobody is perfect but if someone waste' your time and its been over 3 months. Leave. Focus also on your goals and education Marriage is not always the end goal. Do not focus fully on a men for your happiness ladies.🌻
I’m so glad I found your videos. ❤ Your videos are helping in this season of my life and I appreciate it.
You are so welcome 🙏🏾🙏🏾
So true 🥹. All I can DO NOW is trust in my faith in the higher power 🙏🏾
“ all you gotta do is breathe”😂😂 no lies!and make sure you look good too. That’s it
Yeah I’m running if he’s not the one after a year. I don’t care how nice you are. Anybody can be nice. Made a year a few days ago. He’s not ready so I left. My time is everything to me and it’s not to be wasted
You are completely right. I like the fact that you are very straight forward and thank you for that
Ladies we must listen!
It's about time
Exactly! Nothing but the truth💯😊
Hey bro ,how does it feel to asks a man why he likes you? His answer was because you are honest and truthful.
I think that was a great answer. It’s honorable
Thank you, bro.❤
You are absolutely correct. But it seems like many men don’t even want marriage anymore. As you get older as a women many of us not all stop looking forward to ever getting married, because I honestly believe many men , are not interested in making you a wife. Seems like a fairy tale.
But you are so gorgeous and any smart man would be lucky to marry you! Merry Christmas!
Steve Harvey oftentimes gives relationship advice as I'm sure you might know. He has also often times said not to give men sex.😮 that is the problem with society, women give it away for free and therefore man has no reason to marry woman.😅😢😮
If you want a man to take you seriously in a relationship do not give the dessert before the main meal.
In fact hold out on the desert all together until you are married to him.
If he won't wait for you then he's not good enough for you.🎉❤
The Bible gives women a reason to stay celibate until marriage.
Blame it on the Bible why you don't want to have sex with him before marriage.😅
Make sure to have some scriptures ready to show him though because they speak volumes.😁
They make your a personal slave😢
They don’t do want marriage they just want what they desire. A man sleeping with you and stringing you along doesn’t mean he desires you.
Many women don’t want to marry either.
What is crazy is my so called boyfriend/father of my son been together for 8 yrs not even engaged just got in my car and heard what he was saying and got mad saying this was negative 😂😂😂👍😳🤦♀️🫤🙄😮😅😤😡💀💔 I went off and told him this was a man speaking life into women and that he would be single soon
I like what you said: "SPEAKING LIFE INTO WOMEN." 🎉❤🎉
Amen he is not many do which makes us think most of not all men are shitty but they aren’t all bad God knows when we are ready for the right one ❤
I hope you really left
I agree. Its not even about the clock. God said the man will leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. Meaning he will leave his habits and take up responsibilities for his wife. Not concubine or "partner". God said so!!!!! Even if you are 50
My first husband proposed after 3 months. I was married to him for 17 years. The last man that I met, (I'm now 68) asked me if I wanted to share my life with someone after 15, 20 minutes top of talking to me. I'm marrying him. Lol
I just want someone to be down, protect and provide. I have a career, I've been married, I want committment and loyalty, ya!
You are intelligent man. And soooooooo spot on here👍👏👏
I ❤this vid! I'm having a difficult time meeting & dating someone who can accept the fact that I'm 5 years celibate... Once they start talking sex, asking sexual questions, I tell them, hey I'm celibate, are you okay with that? 1-2 days later they ghost me. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I'm celibate because it allows me to be honest, upfront AND I can see who's only interested in me for sex. Also, time away having sex has allowed me to get to know me better, heal from past, unhealthy relationships, build my confidence, love me moreeeeee than ever as well as, I have clearer mind, soul & I'm able to see the RED FLAGS better than ever before... Yes, I'd love to be in a relationship, unfortunately my sexual status is tooooo much for the wrong guy! God will send me the right MAN for me, I'm being patient and confident HE will make it happen ❤❤❤❤
Exactly! This man tried to tell me that he was with his Ex girlfriend for 8 years because there was going through a lot of things (her cheating 🤷🏽♀️). But when I asked why so long, he got offended and said that everyone doesn’t marry so fast and You don’t know a person even in 8 years🤷🏽♀️!!
Men have clocks, too.
The older you get' after. 50 the man has 1 year!
I think I like that idea 💡 😉 give the guy one year from the start of the attraction 🧲 when it is obvious to both of you that there is an attraction.😅
I have a guy that I know likes me. BECAUSE every time I see him he gravitates right to me. He never walks the other way when he sees me coming.😂
And now he is taking to giving me a hug every time he sees me. I asked him: "How did you know I need a hug? and he said: "You don't need a hug you want a hug."😮😅
So far I'm not sure what to think of him. But he's got about 6 more months to set the matter straight.🎉❤😊
Thank you for the truth 🙏 I'm showing this to my daughter tonight
Both of us should have what we want. I was in an unbalanced scale and when I brought up his selfishness, he told me I always throw up in his face what I give and do. My breaking point was when my Mom was dying w stage 4 breast cancer and all I asked him to do is call me and let me vent. He didn't call me for 1 wk. He sd because he is not emotional and also because he just didn't want to. He had some things he needed to take care of and I wouldn't help him. I was there for him 7 yrs. With all his crying, ptsd, holding him down through prison, and hearing about his grown kids.
This is so true... I have a friend who dated a woman for 12 plus years. She asked him throughout their relationship for marriage. He ended the relationship. When they started dating, the young woman was in her late thirty's. Now the guy is 65 yrs old and by himself. Mislead that girl for 13 yrs.
She should've walked away from him.
The only person she has to blame is herself.
Ugh! I LOOOooove this God of a Man. ❤❤❤❤❤ ❤❤❤❤ Daddy Hazell.
I live with him for 12 yrs with two kids, no married and he took another woman who work in his company, but I thanks God im healing and moving on but he dont want me to be successful and he dont want me to be with another Men I arleady waste my time and I think all Men are the same.
It doesn't matter whether he wants you to move on to a new man or not--tell him to kick rocks. Don't be loud with it, but be firm, feminine, and say it with your whole chest. Then distance yourself. And if he wants to see the kids, let him do so as you politely keep a safe distance (either another part of the house or he can take them for an outing). He's not being fair, but forget him: let yourself heal
No it is only a cliche that 'men are all the same.'
Look at the different women that you know in your life,🤔 ARE THEY all the same??
Likely they are NOT all the same.
They are not all the same any more than men are all the same. It takes upbringing, lifestyle, parents that taught you,and siblings that supported you, it also takes your relationship with God and how much Faith you have in his word the Bible .
THERE is so much behind what a person is like in comparison to another person.🎉❤
This is absolutely true !!
Man i wish i heard you 10 years ago!! Thank you so much for this
It doesn't take a man months or years to see the light. Stop giving up the most expensive intangible gift you have, your time! He's not sleeping in multiple hotels because he doesn't know where he wants to live. A surrogate gets paid a minimum of $32k JUST for sacrificing her body to carry a child, not including other expenses, and you're doing it for just a ring?! You're doing great by yourself only to crave marriage and have a heavier load while he still works the same job. DON'T! You're taking care of more responsibilities while he stops taking care of the essentials that he was doing when you weren't in his life? NO! Who really benefits? It ain't usually you, ladies. STOP IT! If marrying is not greatly benefitting your life, don't fantasize and crave being a wife. You live longer as a single woman anyway...
If you truly love somebody and they are in your heart, they aren't going anywhere.
Have you ever looked into love stories from the past, that were famous love stories? LIKE Romeo and Juliet?
I've even seen some pretty awesome love stories in my parents and my grandparents and my great-grandparents.❤🎉❤
LOVE IS REAL it does exist, but it is rare these days, because people give everything away to a person free. Sometimes on the first date.😮
ONE LAST THOUGHT BEFORE I GO... I have seen past pictures of me when I was single and when I was married, and I always look happier and prettier and more confident when I am happily married then when I am sadly single 😢
As men get older they cant get it up as much. They have a clock as well.
And a woman knows too; Just because a man wants a woman doesn’t mean he has enough money for her or that the feelings are mutual.
So if he doesn’t make enough money he has no chance huh
@@konsciousKirk So if she doesn’t have enough beauty she doesn’t have a chance huh? Let’s keep it 💯
@@SunshineTarot the man don’t go for the most beautiful one. He marries the one that best fits his lifestyle
@@konsciousKirk I think that most women want to marry a man that can give them a good lifestyle.
@@SunshineTarot I agree.
Very much appreciated of this truth, Thankh you 👑
Thanks for listening
You are spot on, my Brotha' Praise God for you!
You are telling the truth !!👍👍
SPEAK!!!💯
You speak what I "feel" about a partner.....
I feel I will just know...if it is meant to be.
Amen 🙏
🕊🦅💥💫💜🤍🔥✨️
See I needed to view this . I was prepared to walk away and told him but he didn’t want me to. But then he eventually showed different behaviors of distance.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom 🙏🏾
2 yrs friends 1st. Built on friendship. His ex was murdered 😢. Hes also been cheated on.
We were abused as kids.
We needed time to heal.
Very insightful. Intriguing informative.
Glad you think so!
i believe this...i can testify to many of the truths you are saying.
Thank you for that good information thank you so much
The Best Advice I've ever heard from You King is ....."If a Man wants you,just breathe".
How comes, why wait so long for the ring. 2 years tops 👏👏 or move on 🎉
Both sides should be contributing equally! Resaprosity, " I can't give you what you not giving me"... imbalanced scale.. If your the one doing all the work, contributing, communicating? Then that's one sided. If a man loves you, he communicates with you, reaches out. If he doesn't, there's your answer. He's not it. 🎯💯 Putting in the Effort instead of making excuses!!! Standing in intentions!
That part!!! I concur ❤️❤️❤️
I agree. I have been married twice. Really only two men in my life and married both of them. Equally, I never wasted my time with men whom I wouldn’t have considered marriage material. 👍
My ex used to say he loves me and he wants a future together, marry, have kids. But he had no job, had debts, he was working on new carrier, erning and never really prioritized me and our coming together. We really had obstacles. We've been long distance, in 2 different countries, very far away, and Covid came, and so many other obstacles. It was just really not easy for us to come together and I started to get really frustrated...
Initially he started talking about marriage very quickly, and that he feels like he has been searching for me his whole life, and was acting right, but circumstances were not helping us and he started changing...
Men usually know for sure 1 based off if they are attracted to u and can stand looking at u 😂 and 2 your personality and everything else is after...sometimes 2 can be whether u have a relationship with God...but yea their eyes let them know first tho depends on the type they are into 😂
A woman also we know from the beginning of relationship if he is the one🙂🙂
Harsh truth