It sounds like the purpose of the interview might not have come across clearly to you. The intention was to share a personal story that could resonate with others who have faced challenges in their own lives. Stories often serve as a way to connect and find common ground, even when our experiences might differ. Thank you for watching!
@@reflections_with_Shay - Use the law of attraction and the universe will open doors, and God will puts the universe at your feet, and the problems will be gone, use it wisely
You are correct everyone goes difficult times/different circumstances in life. One goal is to inspire people to go on kept on no matter what happens.not to put down anyone and lift Mary.. my ex asked forgiveness many times which I did forgave him many times.. we are friends now let keep it that way.but my past experiences/pain may inspire people what a positive outlook in life I have and hope for everything and to everyone. Godbless you and thank you for your time
This is so true! When I listened to this young woman, all I heard were control issues. It was as if she wanted that last bit of control over him. I couldn't help but suspect that the lack of a marriage was simple the excuse she used to leave him. It could be that he was such a good guy that the lack of marriage was the only reason she had to achieve her goal. Yes you are right. The reason I see it this way is because my wife has had nearly complete control over all of our 44 years of marriage and I have suddenly come to realize what has been going on and I'm now out of time. Perhaps I'm a little too sensitive about these things.
@michaelshaffer2813 If a man doesn't marry you after a couple of years, he is telling you something. She shouldn't have given him 21 years. He wasn't serious. It's good she moved on
@@vmat6684not really. She is not going to attract another man very easy. If she wants to live and die alone then she made a good choice. No relationship is perfect but, a fairly good relationship ( 21 years ) is better than no relationship. If it was not a good relationship it would not have lasted 21 years.
@@vmat6684 I waited 4 years to marry my wife. We dated 2 an a half years lived together 1 an a half years. In 20 years I had 4 other failed relationship with Filipina's. My wife understood why I wanted to make sure we were going to make it for life. Now we are.
My son's mom left us when my son was 16 months old and I raised him by myself. Drugs and alcohol were more important to her than our son and she left with another guy. At times raising my my son was difficult. However, i found raising my son by myself relatively easy. I had no family to help me, nor did I ask for help from anyone. Im proud of the son i raised. Now hes 39, married, with 2 sons. My daughter inlaw is an American filipina, so my grandsons are half Filipino. They definitely have the Filipino nose too. 🤣🤣 i really enjoyed raising my son. The only problem was, American women tend not to want a single dad at all. They want nothing to do with some other woman's kids. God bless my son.
Friendly suggestion: The large sunglasses Mary is hiding behind is also an emotional barrier partially separating Mary's story from the audience's capacity for sympathy for Mary. ; )
Shay a very beautifully done interview!! A single mom really is a special women. People really don't take time to think of how hard they work and all the worries they carry. You and Margaret incredibly special. I believe God has a special man for Mary. Her soul mate and he will come along at the right time. He sees her desires for love in her life. God always meets his childrens needs.
Jesus said, he prefers couples to be equally yoked in faith and Christian belief. He also states that living together and having intimate relations outside the bonds of marriage (fornicating) is a sin. It always baffles me how uneducated and misled people are concerning the principles and teaching of Christ in the Bible. When we deviate away from the principle truths of scripture, we in essence turn our back on the grace that God has offered us. We should strive to be Christ-like in our words, behavior and actions, so God will want to bless us for our faithfulness to him. Unfortunately, too many Christians still lead lives that are not pleasing to our Father in Heaven. You can't live two different lifestyles and expect God to be pleased.
I just saw you on Leah's channel. I was so impressed with your English, ability to articulate really insightful thoughts and yes your "Filipina beauty" that I decided to subscribe to your channel.
I would like to hear the other side of this story. It seems very convenient that a piece of paper is the only thing that it takes to walk away from a 21 year relationship. Don't forget, he stayed as well for the 21 years and was surprised when she chose to walk away after all that time....
Not happy after a 21 year relationship?? Steve Harvey's wife was not happy either... What's wrong with relationships today?? Is anyone truly happy these days? Should it not be about keeping a relationship going instead of seeking a piece of paper as proof of happiness? Was Tom Brady's wife truly happy??? She had the piece of paper? What is the world coming to.... My mom and dad fought like cats and dogs but stayed married to the very end.... Shame... Shame....
She realised that life was passing her by, and she would die unhappy. When one is younger, you have youth and hope. But as you age, you realise that sacrifising your happiness to be with someone who does not want to compromise is fruitless.
Yes I did after giving and hoping for 21 yrs, Isn't enough for me to give up? Have mercy on me 😂😂😂 were friends now and thats all that matters.. thank you though ❤
What an amazing lady i no what it is to loose everything 2019 i had a motorcycle accident doctors told my wife i would not live i was disconnected from life support and was left in a coma for 10 weeks lost my wife my job my wife closed our account in the end i served by the grace of god and had to start all over from nothing god bless you 2 ladys i hope to get to the Philippines one day 😊😊
It's remarkable how you managed to rebuild your life after facing such immense challenges. I'm glad to hear that you've come so far on your journey. And yes, visiting the Philippines sounds like a wonderful goal - I hope you're able to fulfill that dream someday. Keep spreading your positivity and faith - you're an amazing example of what's possible.
My brother had a head injury at 15 and a half. He is now 67 and has been single all these years. I wish that he had met a beautiful Filipina as I did. There are two women at my office whose husbands are very I’ll. They both understand the hidden blessing it is that there husbands need and love them.
I came across Mary on Mike's Philippine Retirement RUclips channel. Mary is such a sweetheart and truly helped Mike with getting all the marriage license requirements done before he got married. This video I came across on Facebook earlier. It was Mary and her story. Mary is an amazing lady. She is a Diamond amoung all the ladies in Dumaguete. Congratulations on a very good video. Now, the real test is about to unfold when I arrive the first week in September. Don't have any plans but looking forward to seeing Dumaguete as a second vacation home.
Most men that go to the Philippines will bring their relationship scars. it's unavoidable. These ¨scars¨ will either make them extremely vulnerable to manipulative women or so guarded or even jaded that they may challenge even the most honest and deserving women. Relationships remain challenging.
Mary is so vivacious, and gorgeous. Was the problem of no marriage that she wasn't able to move to her partner's home country and be together that way? 21 years of an LDR wouldn't be ideal, or acceptable either. Wish Mary the best, and hope she finds the new partner she deserves.
what a wonderful and real person. how can people not see what they have. having love is so powerful. i recall this quote Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao tzu
Hi Shay. I said it on Mike's channel and I will say it again, Mary is a gem! I just hope she is able to heal from her former relationship so she doesn't bring any baggage to the guy that will step up and try to love her. She is passionate lady with hopes and dreams for her future. I hope she can balance her ideal relationship with the reality of a what someone can and is willing to offer her. My best to Mary and her quest to find the man that will love and marry her but most of all be her best friend ❤. Shay it was a good interview! Not sure if Mike could get her to open up the way you did. "Woman to Woman" 😊
When things are difficult in your life helping someone is the best way to help yourself. I think everyone wants intimacy however there are so many obstacles today that make it difficult for people to make true commitments. It can still occur but knowing what you want is the first step and then being able to communicate this to someone and come to a true understanding comes next. I think some of the rules of marriage have changed and we have to realize this and learn to adapt to this new world. I hope Mary finds what she is looking for.
Relieving the eyestrain is more important. You have to take care of yourself too. Take care and hope your daughters are doing well. 😊@@reflections_with_Shay
Good interview Shay👍There is a lot of married couples in the world that don't love each other anymore . But still living together as a couple. If "she had the love of her life" I don't understand why did she leave him. But of course she explained why she did it. Love is more important than a ring on the finger . Best wishes from Norway.Stay safe and happy!!😊
Thabk you ❤. Yes I did loved him woth all my heart. I sacrificed my own happiness for my kid and hipe that everything will b okay. But I was there, I had experience everypain.should or do I deserved to love my self and put an end and continue to hope and pray that I will have a man that will love me too the way I love and care for him?he did many good things too to b fair to him.but also he is aware and ask forgiveness for everything he did and not do for me to make me feel loved Godbless you and thanks ❤
Wow great video miss shay 🙏🙏🙏 what a wonderful and beautiful woman I can see a lot of pain still locked inside of her 🙏 GOD BLESS HER SWEET HEART I wish her only the best 🙏🙏🙏 miss shay I haven’t watched one of your videos in a little while, but I can clearly see your high standard of quality is still very apparent 🙏 And I say this out of respect you are truly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen but in your case, I believe the beauty runs all the way through GOD BLESS YOU 🙏🙏🙏
The power and influence of Gratitude is amazing. That single action gives more than what you actually gave. Most importantly both parties receive something that illuminates within. It can be be the thing that can change both lives. 🙏🏽
Respect shay ! A good Interview! What a good thinking Woman! Love is all you need! I hope and i am really sure that she will find a man who is going to married her! Such Woman are rare!😊
Mary seems very traumatized. Did I hear correctly that she was beaten by this partner in the beginning? Abused? Sounds like he was a controlling type of man who thinks only of himself. A long distance relationship? I am quite confused by this conversation Shay I have to say. She talks a lot about love, but this 21 year relationship sounds more like a co dependant type relationship. In any event I wish her well and hope she doesn't 'fall in love' again too quickly, but enjoy her own company until she meets someone who will treat her correctly.
Hello Shay, at first glance, I thought of a different scenario, This nice lady seems to get it, I admire people who go out of their way to help others, I guess that's what drew me to your channel, anyway Great interview, she is a strong-willed fluent lady and will do fine in finding her path to happiness.
Mary is an amazing lady, well to tell you the truth both these ladies are very amazing. I hope they truly find the men that will treat them with respect and love.
Ms Shay it's a great interview I'm so sorry that man left her after 21 years but she's not alone GOD is walking with her through life and will always bless her ❤
@@sandrabentley8111yes I did Sandra..if you were in my shoe would you stay until you die even if you always have to chase him beg to gove u time, rather than spend time with his friends when he comes home from d US and drink with them and spend money for them. Would you stay until nothing left of u even if you take care of him give him a massage until he falls asleep everyday or night, cleans d house kept d home tidy at all times follows their mess everywhere. Forgives him hundred times when he ask bc he hits you everywhere and got you multiple injury, would u stay?even if u did everything to make everyone in d family feel love by taking care of them when his mom got sick and hospitalised many times and your d only one who was there to take care of everything in d end you are not appreciated by them instead look on negative bc u show some negative towards them bc of what they say and do to you. Would you stay forever if your partner tells u to do something that is against your will without knowing the real reason why his asking and telling you to do those things... I left him bc I really do want to get married with my man who will love me unconditionally care for me too the way I care for him. Thank you for your time and Godbless ❤
I can pretty much relate to what Mary was sayin about love and happiness being more important in a relationship. If you would be so kind as to relay this, I'd like to say belated happy birthday to her.
Such an interesting interview. There is an old saying: better late than never.... Glad you left him, because after 21 years, you should be married or move on.
Great interview Shay ! Money doesnt buy Happiness, it just make life easier . If you do not have the feeling of being loved and wanted , maybe its time to go !
Nice conversation, quite good arguments. This woman, this speech is a truly tribute to love. In western world a woman like this would be badmouthing men. I really like her attitude especially for two reasons. First, the experience made her stronger and overcame her submission. Secondly she still believe in love as a sublime plenitude. I´d say yes to marriage after some years, time enough to be sure of her honesty and transparency.
She is very nice. I wish her well. Change of topic, the location you are at is so beautiful!!! Those flowers are fantastic. Looking forward to my visit this Christmas. My two sisters and I were raised by our single mom. I never felt like I was missing anything in my life when growing up. Did enjoy giving my mom love and financil support during my military career, Love and miss her still.
Hi Ladies😘I'm a 65 year old Man from America who was married with 3 kids for 20 years before the divorce but I lost everything but thankfully I was granted custody of our 3 kids at 13, 7 and 4😇and I still have a relationship with them at 33, 27 and 26
I had to watch this video three times over a two-day period to really let the words and the inflection of those words sink in. Firstly, Shay, I don't think I have ever seen you this relaxed, mindful, present, and just soaking in that moment in time. You were so engaged, BRAVO. Mary, while you didn't say these words, this was my interpretation of your words. You want to be married (I get that), but for you, a marriage is between two beautiful, independent-thinking individuals who share mutual respect, kindness, compassion, empathy, and both complement each other. It's not really about submissiveness, conversely, it is more about the completeness of two energetic beings forming a bond for life. Just my thoughts. Peace to both you and Shay.
Its not just marriage...I was not appreciated no matter what I do for him and his family specifically his mom. Sacrificed my own joy for my kid and my love for him.I accepted him for who he truly is..its a one way relationship its too painful. I think I deserved soneone who would love and care for my feelings too.I know no ons is perfect ,so am I. but having and wanting a man wholl love you care for you and makes u feel u matter to them I think I deserve that
@@maryloucagas553 Sorry Mary, I think my comment was lost in translation. I wasn't speaking about your past relationship rather I was speaking about more of what I thought you were seeking in your future realationship. I have seen you on MIke's channel as well. I have the upmost respect and admire the way you have overcame your challenges. It;s obvious that you are a very hard working and kind soul. I would never try and spread negative energy. I too focus on speading good vibes. I will be visiting during the month of Novenber. I owe you a coffee. Peace, Love, and Happiness.
I honestly don't understand why marriage is so important. Would I rather be in a committed relationship with someone who is dedicated and devoted to me? Absolutely. Would I want to be in a marriage with someone who is focused more so on the me instead of we? So many marriages end up in divorce, So many great relationships go the distance. Why involve the courts, the banks, the lawyers? It is a great concept but it doesn't mean anything. The more weight a person puts on the concept of marriage, the more likely it is to fail because it is based on predefined ideas, wishful thinking, and fairy tales. The whole concept of marriage is antiquated at this point in time. It was created when women were disempowered. I say this as a man who is not a simp, feminist, etc. So not only is it a legal entity but it is often overseen by religious entities. That is the 2nd strike for me. No need to involve other men in my relationship (the government or the church). Starting to see a trend? Oh yeah, I can only hope and pray that Mary stops saying 'You Know?' The 3 cardinal sins of public speaking are: 'like, um and you know.' Terrible terrible words.
Oooppps sorry 😂😂😂 Im a Filipina not a foreigner but yes I try to speak your language, can you speak ours fluently? Is it a sin to say you know uhm like and so on?didnt know that 😂😂😂.. love love ❤❤❤ Godbless
If there was WE than why did I finally decided to leave?its just me so have to end it.. if its more toxic times stressful days should I stay?have mercy on me please😂😂😂😂 maybe he has someone in d US I dont know maybe yes .when there is no respect should I still stay?😢😢😢
@@maryloucagas553 It's all good Mary, my feedback is never based on malice, just good old fashioned honesty (as I see it), nothing more. I can say a few words of your language, but probably in a pretty poor fashion, but then again, I am not going on RUclips and speaking Tagalog or Visaya to an audience from another country. If you were catering to a Filipino audience, you would speak in your native tongue. But, since we are here, my feedback hopefully will be helpful to those of you who are catering to us English speakers because we all know that is where the money is. Back to the topic at hand, those filler words send subconscious messages that you (and anyone saying them) are not sure about what you are saying. Please don't take the word 'sin' literally, it is only a 'sin' in public speaking, nothing more. Native English speakers will pick up on it over time and start to tune out. You obviously bring a lot of love and pain forward. Keep bringing your magic.
@@maryloucagas553 If you are asking me an honest question then my honest answer would be that you left because you finally got in touch with reality vs your wishful thinking. Hopefully you also got sick and tired of being sick and tired and started saying 'I want to live!'. You are always #1, period. If your relationship doesn't support you being your greatest #1-ness, then it has to end. Also, if you don't fill your cup first and foremost, there won't be anything to offer another person. It is ok to be self-ish, just not selfish. After you comes your relationship at #2. Then, your children #3. Than your family at #4. Your relationship partner will be there long after the kids have grown up and gone, so that needs the most love and attention - tough to do that I know. It also shows your kids how to have a balanced and healthy relationship for when they get in one. Ok, enough wisdom for today. Disclaimer: all statements are personal opinion, not facts. They are my truth, not THE truth. There is a risk I know nothing and am clueless :)
Mary is such a beautiful person and shares the same beauty on her outside. I don't know how a man could spend 21 years with Mary and let her go because he doesn't want be married. She is such a. positive example of what a beautiful Filipina should be like! She is pure at heart and will be someone lifelong companion that will always be there. I know I would loved to have been honored with the chance to put a ring on it!
I look up to single moms, it's never a bad thing. I raised my son alone also. He calls me every day even in his 30s. I'm being constantly reminded how much he appreciates everything. That makes me feel 10 feet tall so to all the single moms out there, YOU are a superhero!!!!!!!
Your a very thoughtful person Mary, you have the ability to be a complete person and a high value woman that finds your purpose and passion each day & makes you so treasured for your friends. Best wishes for your future. Your still so young, there are so many men. I’m sure you’ll find your man, who’ll align with your dreams.
Mary said it all ,she chooses to be happy in all circumstances ,I've said it before and I'll say it again ,of all the dozens of phillippinas I've seen on you tube she should be a very first choice in a marriage choice for any man ,she just seems like a roll your sleeves up and get to work on the relationship ,now she just needs a man that's willing to do the same 🤗🤗I had a several decade marriage and I know it's a work in progress every single day not just a part-time hobby
@@maryloucagas553 I'm not one much for giving false praises so you are welcome Mary ,I think you are genuine ,not perfect and not trying to pretend to be ,and that says a lot about a person 😁
I wish I could get through to my wife what you both were saying about worrying. It is not that I don't have some of those things she worries about in my mind, but I don't obsess over those things to the point that I am miserable. I only have the one life and I refuse to go through it miserable. I want to enjoy my friends and family, and life, while I have the time. Glad to see others get what I sometimes say to her.
Great video as always. Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand women's psychology, but after a child and 21 years she left him because she didn't have a piece of paper tat said they were not married? I may have understood if she left him after 2 years with no children but, after 21 years and a child, they were a marriage. Just didn't the paper that involves the government and mess things up. At her age, very unlikely she will find a husband. She can find a lover or someone to date, but difficult to find a husband.
Because I simply considered the well being of my child and forgot about my self.. I would do everything for my kid.and I think I have givn enough for him.. do ai deserve for my self now?have mercy please.I was there my son sees everything his well aware pf everything so 😂😂😂 were freinds now and thats all that matters 😉
@@sandrabentley8111ldr relationship yes my dear Sandra.. we talked everysingle day and night but most of those calls even being apart to each other is still stressful 😂😂😂 toxic.and when woman respond to a toxic person it became a womans bad attitude now 😂😂😂 hilarious.and thats okay..my kid saw every pain I dont need to expalin it to d whole world 😂😂😂 im busy guys 😂😂😂 lets spread good heart not hate okay. 😉
Dear Shay, Mary's situation is easy to understand when you understand both nations' ideas. Mary has been raised in a Catholic nation, no divorce, only annulment, and very expensive. Her Ex lives in a nation where a man learns to keep the government, and church, out of the personal life. The Ex loses nearly everything when papers are signed, by both, the government and the Church. It is understandable why Mary wants to celebrate her marriage, a sacrament by Catholic regulations. After 21 years together, it seems wrong that she wants paperwork signed. Love is not something that needs to be signed on papers. You can still celebrate your anniversary. You can celebrate your life together with your friends and family without papers. I have been raised in the USA, as an Irish Catholic individual. Here, just the mention of marriage is an unfair situation, especially if the man is good with money. You presented us with a sad situation. God's Blessings, Irish
An Americanized pinay is nothing to cheer about. In my American state living together for 7 years constitutes marriage [Common Law Marriage]. I hope she can find the happiness she wants, but I think she is looking in all of the wrong places and she is trying to convince herself she is on the right path more than others. Solid interview Shay.
@@maryloucagas553 Thank you for your patience Marylou, to dream big and be patient and keep the dream alive, are the 2 things that are needed, along with adding the proper time to wait, your dream will come alive, as a reality.
If you follow Christ through his teaching in his one true church with its seven holy sacraments,eucharistic presence and teaching of faith and good works then we would all have a wonderfull world..
Just one question for Mary. Do you still love him? I can see in this interview that you still do. I think you will find someone new, but I hope you did the right thing leaving someone you love. It may take you some time as it would not be fair to a new partner if you still love your previous partner. Tough decision to make.
I will pray everyday for you Mary If I lived in the. Phillipines I would ask you to marry me You’re exactly the type of woman I’m looking for God bless you Mary What a great positive attitude and smile
An older woman once say to me marry before you carry. We live in a society where these women are so quick to have kids for a man they don’t really know.21 years and you thought you knew him. Am not here to judge. But this the reason so many kids are in broken homes
I was in one of my relationships for 8 years without marriage. Neither one of cared because when I met her everyone around her was married and cheating and getting divorced. It was so bad that her best friend's husband divorce him while her mom divorced her Dad. To make matters worse the reason was her mother was having an affair with Her best friend's husband. It sounds like a K drama. The truth was that both marriages were terrible. Like Mary her father beat her mother. Then she found out that her best friend was truly a lesbiian and had numerous girlfriends and her husband did not know why there was no romance or intimacy in the marriage. Stay please tell Mary that she feels she is not entitled to wealth her husband has built but truly it is wealth that the two of them built while together. She sacrificed 21 years of her youth and highest value years for one man and he did not respect her wish for marriage. Sadly my guess is she does not know his life in the USA for the 11 months of the year. Legally in the Philippines she is entitled to one half of all wages and property bought together during their relationship which is well documented for 21 years and when he returned every year as an OFW he came back to share her bed. I have no clue why she is a battered woman as I saw her interviewed on other channels and I saw numerous men who were interested thinking she would be a great girlfriend then wife. That included myself. But she must be careful not to let the sins of one man in the past change the manner in which a quality relationship develops. But in the beginning she should say she is looking to marry and wants a serious relationship. In 6-9 months two people know if they should become engaged and plan a wedding. As for the money and property as well as material items she needs to set up a consult with Gracie who is a family law attorney that appears on The Filipina Peas channel. Mary according to Philippines law had a common law. marriage and finances would be treated in this manner. Mary should treat the division of assets as if half is hers because legally it is. Mary should watch this video that Gracie did with The Filipina Pea so she stops thinking morally she wants a clean break because legally under Sections 747 and 748 she is arguably entitled to half of his wages and half of the property they acquired together. It does not matter if someone made most of the money. Part of your job, which is more important, is raising the kids and taking care of the family unit and home for 21 years. If You would Like I will send you the link to this video if it can be done in this video. I say that because most Filipinas and Expat vloggers disable the link option on RUclips because of what people do wrongly. It would be in her best interests to watch the video and then set up a 1-2 hour appointment with Gracie to discuss everything. This is what is legally and morally right for Mary. It will also let her sever all ties with her ex because right now her life is financially intertwined with her ex and in doing so she hasn't let go of all tied which will ultimately lead to failure with future relationships. Her past is not in the past. Again, please contact me if you want a link to this video as Gracie has been on Pea's channel 4 or 5 times and she needs to watch the right video. I personally have read the Philippines law and review the case law from the Philippines Supreme Court to verify Gracie's legally opinion and you d everything she said was true. Yes, the American lawyer in me was curious. After 21 years she eclipses the 5 years other court says what makes a relationship actually like a marriage because that is how it functions and worked financially. Please tell Mary that what I am saying and what is the law in the Philippines is just, legal and morally right. Ingat.
Thank you so much for your concern I appreciate it ❤❤❤ and no I wont and dont have too 😂😂😂😂 I know him well when it comes to money so thanks.. my God is enough to support me and blessing me more than I deserved.. everything is temporary so as problems.. I left everything in his house its all his not mine.. he supports our kid well and that is good enough for me. My kid has a great father that fair enough.. spread love ❤❤❤ thanks again
@@sandrabentley8111thank you Sandra I am not rushing anything as a matter of fact I am just waiting and waiting and waiting 😂😂😂😂 but I am happy and contented now and just trying to spread love not hate Godbless your heart
Having been married for 21 years only to discover adultery and exercise my need to leave, I can easy detect the pain and disappointment under the veneer of smiles. She’s a brave woman who set and respected an important boundary for herself. Prayers for her and her children.
Marriage is not the end all. After my seven figure divorce, I will never allow it again. With assets in nine countries, I am a cash cow. The financial incentive for divorce is too tempting. My Filipina accepts my attitude, although she hopes I will change.
So, first of all, I want to commend your brave friend for being willing to make a very difficult choice for herself after so many long years of marriage. Not everyone can find the strength to do this, and it is not an easy choice or step to make. However, as a Westerner who comes from what we call a very dysfunctional family, I have learned through many many years of therapy that it is not healthy to always do everything for or to only think about other people. When you do this too much this means that somewhere in your developmental cycle (probably as a child), you learned not to think about yourself at all, because not getting your needs met as a child was too painful to bear. Your friend would do herself a lot of favors if she would start reading and watching videos on RUclips about healthy human psychology. My guess is that she comes from a narcissistic family structure, so videos on this subject would do her a world of good in understanding where she comes from, and why things in her world work the way that they do. It’s a long difficult journey, back to a healthy state of mind, but it is absolutely worth it in the end.
. Mary and her boyfriend were not married, which was why she finally left him. He refused to marry her. Please break up your text into paragraphs. This is something everyone was supposed to learn in 9th grade English class. 😕 .
Mary sounds like she is still in love with her son's father. Personally I would avoid her because he would be part of any relationship with her. She probably would be happier if she became less involved with the son's father.
21 years and 1 month a year ? And abuse ? I can't imagine. No chance I would tolerate that. Yet... I am not big on marriage either. But... I would do it in respect of the needs of the other person. However... it wouldn't change me relative to the relationship. Very fun energy with this young lady. She would be a blast to sit next to on a cross country (USA) bus trip 🙂
I hope I never come across her or anyone like her in my life. I think there is a whole other side to this story. If she really love him, why would she leave after 21 years? Just for a piece of paper? I think there might be some manipulation here and he called her bluff.
Sorry to hear that Tim, should I not left him? I might be dead by now with cancer bc of stress most of the days 😢😢😢😢.our son sees everything and well aware of everything thats good enough for me..and besides were friends now and thats all that matters okay.lets move on and spread love not hate or negative ❤❤❤❤
Would u like to tak to my one and only son who is d very first witness in everything i had experienced?pain sacrifice love that iHad jaut to work it out for 21long yrs?
Wow! Sorry if you find it that way..but fyi if I love and want tooooo much of money.. I would've chose to atay bc I have everything on my name car house and his miilions on my account.did I get anything from it?not a single centavo sir.all I want is love care that I matter to him as a partner not a rug or anything nothing but useless even if I submit my whole life and cared and loved him..anyway were good friends now lets move on okay...do I deserve to have a man that love and care for me too until d end?I guess 😂😂😂 thanks ❤❤❤
Ok this is a long story that 17 minutes is not enough. Mary only was with him for 1 month out of the year. This would kill most relationships. And that’s not a father as well . But there more then one side to every story. She went through a lot with this relationship. I hope she finds true love and she might still has it if this man decides to come and stay with her every day instead of one month out of the year
@@sandrabentley8111i dont know dear 😂😂😂 thats all up to him.was he playing around?I guess thats why he wont Marry me 😂😂😂 we dont knkw dear but were done and Im happy his happy I guess so lets all move on okay 😉
Not all single mother's are good. I know, I married one. A (so called) Christian one at that, but that was my fault for blindly trusting that she'd changed and not waiting to see the fruit.
Nothing but respect for all the single mothers out there. Mary is someone I would be interested in if I lived in the Philippines. I’m sure she will find a good man. God bless you both. 😊
She chose wrong from the beginning. She should have gotten involved with someone who shares the same value as her. If you want marriage, get into a relationship with someone who values marriage. All I hear from her is poor decision making. Why was she not married before she had a child? She's not morally traditional. I really hope this western culture does not rub off on the East.
Im so aorry if i had not realised that as young as I am.and having no one with u to fight for u stand for u I guess I was too weak and didn't know what to do best but chose to do What I know is best for my heart
@MaryinthePhilippines this is why "dating" is absolute horse shit. Because women don't know how to choose, they choose based on emotions, which is not beneficial to life's purpose. And this is why it's important for families to decide who someone marry. Cause when women choose to do anything for their "heart" as you said, it only ends in tragedy. I hope you use your experience to teach young women the right things, which is family values and being obedient to parents and mostly having God involved in your life (hopefully you do).
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What was point of this interview? It was just telling story to you friend, I didn’t understand, everybody go through of difficulty in their life. 😂
It sounds like the purpose of the interview might not have come across clearly to you. The intention was to share a personal story that could resonate with others who have faced challenges in their own lives. Stories often serve as a way to connect and find common ground, even when our experiences might differ. Thank you for watching!
@@reflections_with_Shay - Use the law of attraction and the universe will open doors, and God will puts the universe at your feet, and the problems will be gone, use it wisely
You are correct everyone goes difficult times/different circumstances in life. One goal is to inspire people to go on kept on no matter what happens.not to put down anyone and lift Mary.. my ex asked forgiveness many times which I did forgave him many times.. we are friends now let keep it that way.but my past experiences/pain may inspire people what a positive outlook in life I have and hope for everything and to everyone. Godbless you and thank you for your time
I enjoyed the interview 👍. The charming young lady would be awesome on a long road trip !
Exhausting.... but lots of fun🙂
Well said Shay. I could not have expressed it better. Well done.
Now interview the husband, always two sides to every story.
This is so true!
When I listened to this young woman, all I heard were control issues. It was as if she wanted that last bit of control over him.
I couldn't help but suspect that the lack of a marriage was simple the excuse she used to leave him. It could be that he was such a good guy that the lack of marriage was the only reason she had to achieve her goal.
Yes you are right. The reason I see it this way is because my wife has had nearly complete control over all of our 44 years of marriage and I have suddenly come to realize what has been going on and I'm now out of time. Perhaps I'm a little too sensitive about these things.
@@michaelshaffer2813I thought the opposite, that he was the controlling type. A bit of a confusing interview. Didn't flow so well.
@michaelshaffer2813
If a man doesn't marry you after a couple of years, he is telling you something. She shouldn't have given him 21 years. He wasn't serious. It's good she moved on
@@vmat6684not really. She is not going to attract another man very easy. If she wants to live and die alone then she made a good choice. No relationship is perfect but, a fairly good relationship ( 21 years ) is better than no relationship. If it was not a good relationship it would not have lasted 21 years.
@@vmat6684 I waited 4 years to marry my wife.
We dated 2 an a half years lived together 1 an a half years.
In 20 years I had 4 other failed relationship with Filipina's.
My wife understood why I wanted to make sure we were going to make it for life.
Now we are.
I'm impressed with Shay doing multi-cam editing!
My son's mom left us when my son was 16 months old and I raised him by myself. Drugs and alcohol were more important to her than our son and she left with another guy. At times raising my my son was difficult. However, i found raising my son by myself relatively easy. I had no family to help me, nor did I ask for help from anyone. Im proud of the son i raised. Now hes 39, married, with 2 sons. My daughter inlaw is an American filipina, so my grandsons are half Filipino. They definitely have the Filipino nose too. 🤣🤣 i really enjoyed raising my son. The only problem was, American women tend not to want a single dad at all. They want nothing to do with some other woman's kids. God bless my son.
Godbless ❤❤❤
Friendly suggestion: The large sunglasses Mary is hiding behind is also an emotional barrier partially separating Mary's story from the audience's capacity for sympathy for Mary. ; )
😂 sorry my sunglass is just enough size but my nose is d prob heheheh cant hold enough of it so it kept on fallin😂😂😂
Thanks ❤❤❤
@@maryloucagas553😂😂😂 That's funny!
Shay a very beautifully done interview!! A single mom really is a special women. People really don't take time to think of how hard they work and all the worries they carry. You and Margaret incredibly special. I believe God has a special man for Mary. Her soul mate and he will come along at the right time. He sees her desires for love in her life. God always meets his childrens needs.
Jesus said, he prefers couples to be equally yoked in faith and Christian belief. He also states that living together and having intimate relations outside the bonds of marriage (fornicating) is a sin. It always baffles me how uneducated and misled people are concerning the principles and teaching of Christ in the Bible. When we deviate away from the principle truths of scripture, we in essence turn our back on the grace that God has offered us. We should strive to be Christ-like in our words, behavior and actions, so God will want to bless us for our faithfulness to him. Unfortunately, too many Christians still lead lives that are not pleasing to our Father in Heaven. You can't live two different lifestyles and expect God to be pleased.
Its this kind of simp energy thats ruining for all of us. The old guys dont realize times have changed. Men have become weak
I just saw you on Leah's channel. I was so impressed with your English, ability to articulate really insightful thoughts and yes your "Filipina beauty" that I decided to subscribe to your channel.
Thank you for joining the community Daniel! We so appreciate you!
I would like to hear the other side of this story. It seems very convenient that a piece of paper is the only thing that it takes to walk away from a 21 year relationship. Don't forget, he stayed as well for the 21 years and was surprised when she chose to walk away after all that time....
Not happy after a 21 year relationship?? Steve Harvey's wife was not happy either... What's wrong with relationships today?? Is anyone truly happy these days? Should it not be about keeping a relationship going instead of seeking a piece of paper as proof of happiness? Was Tom Brady's wife truly happy??? She had the piece of paper? What is the world coming to.... My mom and dad fought like cats and dogs but stayed married to the very end.... Shame... Shame....
She realised that life was passing her by, and she would die unhappy. When one is younger, you have youth and hope. But as you age, you realise that sacrifising your happiness to be with someone who does not want to compromise is fruitless.
Yes I did after giving and hoping for 21 yrs, Isn't enough for me to give up? Have mercy on me 😂😂😂 were friends now and thats all that matters.. thank you though ❤
I wonder what the age gap was in your Relationship??????@@maryloucagas553
I’m really confused, do you have all of his assets or do you have nothing?
Independent and self realization !!! God luck mate !!!
Regards ,Erwin Zado
Another inspirational interview Shay,great work as always.
Thank you Edwin!
She is one in a trillion... I'm praying God fulfills her every desire... ❤🙏😔
What an amazing lady i no what it is to loose everything 2019 i had a motorcycle accident doctors told my wife i would not live i was disconnected from life support and was left in a coma for 10 weeks lost my wife my job my wife closed our account in the end i served by the grace of god and had to start all over from nothing god bless you 2 ladys i hope to get to the Philippines one day 😊😊
It's remarkable how you managed to rebuild your life after facing such immense challenges. I'm glad to hear that you've come so far on your journey. And yes, visiting the Philippines sounds like a wonderful goal - I hope you're able to fulfill that dream someday. Keep spreading your positivity and faith - you're an amazing example of what's possible.
My brother had a head injury at 15 and a half. He is now 67 and has been single all these years. I wish that he had met a beautiful Filipina as I did. There are two women at my office whose husbands are very I’ll. They both understand the hidden blessing it is that there husbands need and love them.
Thank you ❤❤❤ its the faith that kept us going Godbless more
Always nice to heard one side of a story. Makes it so simple to understand.
I came across Mary on Mike's Philippine Retirement RUclips channel. Mary is such a sweetheart and truly helped Mike with getting all the marriage license requirements done before he got married.
This video I came across on Facebook earlier. It was Mary and her story. Mary is an amazing lady. She is a Diamond amoung all the ladies in Dumaguete.
Congratulations on a very good video. Now, the real test is about to unfold when I arrive the first week in September. Don't have any plans but looking forward to seeing Dumaguete as a second vacation home.
Thank you ❤ ❤❤
Most men that go to the Philippines will bring their relationship scars. it's unavoidable. These ¨scars¨ will either make them extremely vulnerable to manipulative women or so guarded or even jaded that they may challenge even the most honest and deserving women. Relationships remain challenging.
Yes they are Shawn!
As always..
Mary is so vivacious, and gorgeous. Was the problem of no marriage that she wasn't able to move to her partner's home country and be together that way? 21 years of an LDR wouldn't be ideal, or acceptable either. Wish Mary the best, and hope she finds the new partner she deserves.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
what a wonderful and real person. how can people not see what they have. having love is so powerful. i recall this quote Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao tzu
Lao Tzu was a wise poet! :-)
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
Very well done Shay! You are as talented a journalist as you are a filmmaker. Keep growing, we will be here watching! And good luck to you Mary!
Thank you ❤
Very lovely interview with Mary, she has a beautiful spirit and smile
Thank you Ronald! Yes she does!
Thank upu ❤️❤️❤️
Great job on this interview Shay! Very professional! 🙂🙏
Thank you Ed! :-)
Hi Shay. I said it on Mike's channel and I will say it again, Mary is a gem! I just hope she is able to heal from her former relationship so she doesn't bring any baggage to the guy that will step up and try to love her. She is passionate lady with hopes and dreams for her future. I hope she can balance her ideal relationship with the reality of a what someone can and is willing to offer her. My best to Mary and her quest to find the man that will love and marry her but most of all be her best friend ❤. Shay it was a good interview! Not sure if Mike could get her to open up the way you did. "Woman to Woman" 😊
Thank you Kevin ❤❤❤
Godspeed to both of you
I wish families could always stay together, so much better for the kids and for the spouses.
Thank you Ted!
When things are difficult in your life helping someone is the best way to help yourself. I think everyone wants intimacy however there are so many obstacles today that make it difficult for people to make true commitments. It can still occur but knowing what you want is the first step and then being able to communicate this to someone and come to a true understanding comes next. I think some of the rules of marriage have changed and we have to realize this and learn to adapt to this new world. I hope Mary finds what she is looking for.
Thank you ❤❤❤
Powerful interview, Shay.
Great interview Shay. Mary, thanks for sharing your story. You're a terrific woman and you deserve happiness.
Ill claim it! Thank you ❤❤❤
what a wonderful woman. she is so real. i would wake up every day thanking god for such a woman.
Thank you ❤❤❤
As KS says...
Marry before you carry...
No waste of time, no drama, no waiting, less pain.
There is truth in what you say. But, I wouldn't change anything as my daughters bring me so much joy.
Wonderful interview, I hope Mary finds the love of her life. Thank you. 🙂👍👍👍🙏
Thank you ❤❤❤ his coming soon😂😂
Oh, and Shay, nice glasses. They look nice on you. The blue filtering messes with the video a tad, but they still look good.
Sorry about that Shawn. They are helping a bit with the eyestrain. Thank you for the compliment!
Relieving the eyestrain is more important. You have to take care of yourself too. Take care and hope your daughters are doing well. 😊@@reflections_with_Shay
Good interview Shay👍There is a lot of married couples in the world that don't love each other anymore . But still living together as a couple. If "she had the love of her life" I don't understand why did she leave him. But of course she explained why she did it. Love is more important than a ring on the finger . Best wishes from Norway.Stay safe and happy!!😊
Thabk you ❤. Yes I did loved him woth all my heart. I sacrificed my own happiness for my kid and hipe that everything will b okay. But I was there, I had experience everypain.should or do I deserved to love my self and put an end and continue to hope and pray that I will have a man that will love me too the way I love and care for him?he did many good things too to b fair to him.but also he is aware and ask forgiveness for everything he did and not do for me to make me feel loved Godbless you and thanks ❤
Wow great video miss shay 🙏🙏🙏 what a wonderful and beautiful woman I can see a lot of pain still locked inside of her 🙏 GOD BLESS HER SWEET HEART I wish her only the best 🙏🙏🙏 miss shay I haven’t watched one of your videos in a little while, but I can clearly see your high standard of quality is still very apparent 🙏 And I say this out of respect you are truly one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen but in your case, I believe the beauty runs all the way through GOD BLESS YOU 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you ❤ . Im perfectly okay bow. Were good friends now and I don't linger on hatred or negative feelings anymore.. love love love 😂😂😂
The power and influence of Gratitude is amazing. That single action gives more than what you actually gave. Most importantly both parties receive something that illuminates within. It can be be the thing that can change both lives. 🙏🏽
Dear people.... take sun glasses off when on camera.
I hope I can but my eyes were sensitive outside so sorry ny cute nose wont hild up the glassess😂😂😂😂 poor nose 😂😂😂😂
So true from she spoke of a lot of respect to her and her family ❤
Thabk you ❤❤❤
Shay, I know I said it before but I will repeat. Your skin color is so beautiful. Very attractive. Wow. 😁😁😁
Thank you Mason! :-)
You're both so articulate and interesting. It's a great interview and hope to see you ladies sharing your thoughts on many more topics.
Thabk you ❤❤❤
Respect shay ! A good Interview! What a good thinking Woman! Love is all you need! I hope and i am really sure that she will find a man who is going to married her! Such Woman are rare!😊
Thank you ❤❤❤
Great interview of a amazing lady.
Mary seems very traumatized. Did I hear correctly that she was beaten by this partner in the beginning? Abused? Sounds like he was a controlling type of man who thinks only of himself. A long distance relationship? I am quite confused by this conversation Shay I have to say. She talks a lot about love, but this 21 year relationship sounds more like a co dependant type relationship. In any event I wish her well and hope she doesn't 'fall in love' again too quickly, but enjoy her own company until she meets someone who will treat her correctly.
Thanks Sandra ❤❤❤
She’s smart she knows what she wants and she will get it. The right guy will come along soon
Best of luck 😇🙏
Hello Shay, at first glance, I thought of a different scenario, This nice lady seems to get it, I admire people who go out of their way to help others, I guess that's what drew me to your channel, anyway Great interview, she is a strong-willed fluent lady and will do fine in finding her path to happiness.
Thank you ❤❤❤
Mary is an amazing lady, well to tell you the truth both these ladies are very amazing. I hope they truly find the men that will treat them with respect and love.
Ms Shay it's a great interview I'm so sorry that man left her after 21 years but she's not alone GOD is walking with her through life and will always bless her ❤
She left him.
@@sandrabentley8111yes I did Sandra..if you were in my shoe would you stay until you die even if you always have to chase him beg to gove u time, rather than spend time with his friends when he comes home from d US and drink with them and spend money for them. Would you stay until nothing left of u even if you take care of him give him a massage until he falls asleep everyday or night, cleans d house kept d home tidy at all times follows their mess everywhere. Forgives him hundred times when he ask bc he hits you everywhere and got you multiple injury, would u stay?even if u did everything to make everyone in d family feel love by taking care of them when his mom got sick and hospitalised many times and your d only one who was there to take care of everything in d end you are not appreciated by them instead look on negative bc u show some negative towards them bc of what they say and do to you. Would you stay forever if your partner tells u to do something that is against your will without knowing the real reason why his asking and telling you to do those things... I left him bc I really do want to get married with my man who will love me unconditionally care for me too the way I care for him. Thank you for your time and Godbless ❤
You deserve better sister. I hope you find what you're looking for.
I can pretty much relate to what Mary was sayin about love and happiness being more important in a relationship. If you would be so kind as to relay this, I'd like to say belated happy birthday to her.
I will Gary! Thank you!
@@reflections_with_Shay thank you Ms Shay for being so kind as to do this for me. As we say here, I'm much obliged. (Many thanks)
Such an interesting interview. There is an old saying: better late than never.... Glad you left him, because after 21 years, you should be married or move on.
❤❤❤
Mary is a Beautiful Person and hopefully some day she will find Happiness and you are a Beautiful Lady.
Thank you Edwin! :-)
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
How can someone take a chance to fall in love with Mary? What if she goes back to her first partner then the other man is heartbroken
Great interview Shay ! Money doesnt buy Happiness, it just make life easier . If you do not have the feeling of being loved and wanted , maybe its time to go !
There is always hope Greg and Sarah. But money can't buy feeling.
Nice conversation, quite good arguments. This woman, this speech is a truly tribute to love. In western world a woman like this would be badmouthing men. I really like her attitude especially for two reasons. First, the experience made her stronger and overcame her submission. Secondly she still believe in love as a sublime plenitude. I´d say yes to marriage after some years, time enough to be sure of her honesty and transparency.
Thanks Raul ❤ Godbless you
She is very nice. I wish her well. Change of topic, the location you are at is so beautiful!!! Those flowers are fantastic. Looking forward to my visit this Christmas. My two sisters and I were raised by our single mom. I never felt like I was missing anything in my life when growing up. Did enjoy giving my mom love and financil support during my military career, Love and miss her still.
Hi Ladies😘I'm a 65 year old Man from America who was married with 3 kids for 20 years before the divorce but I lost everything but thankfully I was granted custody of our 3 kids at 13, 7 and 4😇and I still have a relationship with them at 33, 27 and 26
Sorry to hear that you've lost everything 😢 and also congrats for having the custody of your kids.. your a great man Tim Godbless ❤❤❤
I had to watch this video three times over a two-day period to really let the words and the inflection of those words sink in. Firstly, Shay, I don't think I have ever seen you this relaxed, mindful, present, and just soaking in that moment in time. You were so engaged, BRAVO. Mary, while you didn't say these words, this was my interpretation of your words. You want to be married (I get that), but for you, a marriage is between two beautiful, independent-thinking individuals who share mutual respect, kindness, compassion, empathy, and both complement each other. It's not really about submissiveness, conversely, it is more about the completeness of two energetic beings forming a bond for life. Just my thoughts. Peace to both you and Shay.
Thank you for your kind words Craig! :-)
Its not just marriage...I was not appreciated no matter what I do for him and his family specifically his mom. Sacrificed my own joy for my kid and my love for him.I accepted him for who he truly is..its a one way relationship its too painful. I think I deserved soneone who would love and care for my feelings too.I know no ons is perfect ,so am I. but having and wanting a man wholl love you care for you and makes u feel u matter to them I think I deserve that
@@maryloucagas553 Sorry Mary, I think my comment was lost in translation. I wasn't speaking about your past relationship rather I was speaking about more of what I thought you were seeking in your future realationship. I have seen you on MIke's channel as well. I have the upmost respect and admire the way you have overcame your challenges. It;s obvious that you are a very hard working and kind soul. I would never try and spread negative energy. I too focus on speading good vibes. I will be visiting during the month of Novenber. I owe you a coffee. Peace, Love, and Happiness.
I honestly don't understand why marriage is so important. Would I rather be in a committed relationship with someone who is dedicated and devoted to me? Absolutely. Would I want to be in a marriage with someone who is focused more so on the me instead of we? So many marriages end up in divorce, So many great relationships go the distance. Why involve the courts, the banks, the lawyers? It is a great concept but it doesn't mean anything. The more weight a person puts on the concept of marriage, the more likely it is to fail because it is based on predefined ideas, wishful thinking, and fairy tales. The whole concept of marriage is antiquated at this point in time. It was created when women were disempowered. I say this as a man who is not a simp, feminist, etc. So not only is it a legal entity but it is often overseen by religious entities. That is the 2nd strike for me. No need to involve other men in my relationship (the government or the church). Starting to see a trend? Oh yeah, I can only hope and pray that Mary stops saying 'You Know?' The 3 cardinal sins of public speaking are: 'like, um and you know.' Terrible terrible words.
Oooppps sorry 😂😂😂 Im a Filipina not a foreigner but yes I try to speak your language, can you speak ours fluently? Is it a sin to say you know uhm like and so on?didnt know that 😂😂😂.. love love ❤❤❤ Godbless
If there was WE than why did I finally decided to leave?its just me so have to end it.. if its more toxic times stressful days should I stay?have mercy on me please😂😂😂😂 maybe he has someone in d US I dont know maybe yes .when there is no respect should I still stay?😢😢😢
@@maryloucagas553 It's all good Mary, my feedback is never based on malice, just good old fashioned honesty (as I see it), nothing more. I can say a few words of your language, but probably in a pretty poor fashion, but then again, I am not going on RUclips and speaking Tagalog or Visaya to an audience from another country. If you were catering to a Filipino audience, you would speak in your native tongue. But, since we are here, my feedback hopefully will be helpful to those of you who are catering to us English speakers because we all know that is where the money is. Back to the topic at hand, those filler words send subconscious messages that you (and anyone saying them) are not sure about what you are saying. Please don't take the word 'sin' literally, it is only a 'sin' in public speaking, nothing more. Native English speakers will pick up on it over time and start to tune out. You obviously bring a lot of love and pain forward. Keep bringing your magic.
@@maryloucagas553 If you are asking me an honest question then my honest answer would be that you left because you finally got in touch with reality vs your wishful thinking. Hopefully you also got sick and tired of being sick and tired and started saying 'I want to live!'. You are always #1, period. If your relationship doesn't support you being your greatest #1-ness, then it has to end. Also, if you don't fill your cup first and foremost, there won't be anything to offer another person. It is ok to be self-ish, just not selfish. After you comes your relationship at #2. Then, your children #3. Than your family at #4. Your relationship partner will be there long after the kids have grown up and gone, so that needs the most love and attention - tough to do that I know. It also shows your kids how to have a balanced and healthy relationship for when they get in one. Ok, enough wisdom for today. Disclaimer: all statements are personal opinion, not facts. They are my truth, not THE truth. There is a risk I know nothing and am clueless :)
Mary is such a beautiful person and shares the same beauty on her outside. I don't know how a man could spend 21 years with Mary and let her go because he doesn't want be married. She is such a. positive example of what a beautiful Filipina should be like! She is pure at heart and will be someone lifelong companion that will always be there. I know I would loved to have been honored with the chance to put a ring on it!
I look up to single moms, it's never a bad thing. I raised my son alone also. He calls me every day even in his 30s. I'm being constantly reminded how much he appreciates everything. That makes me feel 10 feet tall so to all the single moms out there, YOU are a superhero!!!!!!!
Thank you David ❤❤❤
I do enjoy these soap opera videos every so often. Lol thanks Miss Shay. 😎😎
Thank you so much! :-)
Have an amazing day Shay, take care and God bless you 🙏 😊
Your a very thoughtful person Mary, you have the ability to be a complete person and a high value woman that finds your purpose and passion each day & makes you so treasured for your friends. Best wishes for your future. Your still so young, there are so many men. I’m sure you’ll find your man, who’ll align with your dreams.
Yall are living the dream
great job you 2 nice touching video
Thanks Mike ❤❤❤
Great interview.... love her mindset of what's important in life
Thanks Will❤
Mary said it all ,she chooses to be happy in all circumstances ,I've said it before and I'll say it again ,of all the dozens of phillippinas I've seen on you tube she should be a very first choice in a marriage choice for any man ,she just seems like a roll your sleeves up and get to work on the relationship ,now she just needs a man that's willing to do the same 🤗🤗I had a several decade marriage and I know it's a work in progress every single day not just a part-time hobby
You say had. 🤔
Im glad and thank you Steve ❤❤❤
@@maryloucagas553 I'm not one much for giving false praises so you are welcome Mary ,I think you are genuine ,not perfect and not trying to pretend to be ,and that says a lot about a person 😁
I wish I could get through to my wife what you both were saying about worrying. It is not that I don't have some of those things she worries about in my mind, but I don't obsess over those things to the point that I am miserable. I only have the one life and I refuse to go through it miserable. I want to enjoy my friends and family, and life, while I have the time. Glad to see others get what I sometimes say to her.
I agree Ronaldo. Worrying mainly makes us worry more. Better to just live and enjoy.
Great video as always.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand women's psychology, but after a child and 21 years she left him because she didn't have a piece of paper tat said they were not married?
I may have understood if she left him after 2 years with no children but, after 21 years and a child, they were a marriage. Just didn't the paper that involves the government and mess things up.
At her age, very unlikely she will find a husband. She can find a lover or someone to date, but difficult to find a husband.
Sounds like she only saw him once a year. Not really a relationship in my view.
Because I simply considered the well being of my child and forgot about my self.. I would do everything for my kid.and I think I have givn enough for him.. do ai deserve for my self now?have mercy please.I was there my son sees everything his well aware pf everything so 😂😂😂 were freinds now and thats all that matters 😉
@@sandrabentley8111ldr relationship yes my dear Sandra.. we talked everysingle day and night but most of those calls even being apart to each other is still stressful 😂😂😂 toxic.and when woman respond to a toxic person it became a womans bad attitude now 😂😂😂 hilarious.and thats okay..my kid saw every pain I dont need to expalin it to d whole world 😂😂😂 im busy guys 😂😂😂 lets spread good heart not hate okay. 😉
@maryloucagas553 yes, that's all that matters
@@sandrabentley8111 That was her choice...
Dear Shay, Mary's situation is easy to understand when you understand both nations' ideas. Mary has been raised in a Catholic nation, no divorce, only annulment, and very expensive. Her Ex lives in a nation where a man learns to keep the government, and church, out of the personal life. The Ex loses nearly everything when papers are signed, by both, the government and the Church. It is understandable why Mary wants to celebrate her marriage, a sacrament by Catholic regulations. After 21 years together, it seems wrong that she wants paperwork signed. Love is not something that needs to be signed on papers. You can still celebrate your anniversary. You can celebrate your life together with your friends and family without papers.
I have been raised in the USA, as an Irish Catholic individual. Here, just the mention of marriage is an unfair situation, especially if the man is good with money. You presented us with a sad situation. God's Blessings, Irish
An Americanized pinay is nothing to cheer about. In my American state living together for 7 years constitutes marriage [Common Law Marriage]. I hope she can find the happiness she wants, but I think she is looking in all of the wrong places and she is trying to convince herself she is on the right path more than others.
Solid interview Shay.
Thank you ❤. Yes I will in due and Gods perfect time.. all I have is hope and I am patiently waiting..he is coming 😂😂😂
@@maryloucagas553 Thank you for your patience Marylou, to dream big and be patient and keep the dream alive, are the 2 things that are needed, along with adding the proper time to wait, your dream will come alive, as a reality.
If you follow Christ through his teaching in his one true church with its seven holy sacraments,eucharistic presence and teaching of faith and good works then we would all have a wonderfull world..
❤❤❤
Hi Shay. Another nice video. I would like to correspond with your guest on your video. How do I do that?
But she wants to fall madly in love.
I know that.
@@sandrabentley8111is it bad?
Just one question for Mary. Do you still love him? I can see in this interview that you still do. I think you will find someone new, but I hope you did the right thing leaving someone you love. It may take you some time as it would not be fair to a new partner if you still love your previous partner. Tough decision to make.
I did love him... and Im done..I wouldn't be looking for for the last time to spend the rest lf our lives if I still do.
Than you ❤️❤️❤️
I will pray everyday for you Mary
If I lived in the. Phillipines I would ask you to marry me
You’re exactly the type of woman I’m looking for
God bless you Mary
What a great positive attitude and smile
Ohhhh I couldn't thank you enough..❤❤❤
❤❤❤ Thabk you for the prayers ai need that always Godbless
An older woman once say to me marry before you carry. We live in a society where these women are so quick to have kids for a man they don’t really know.21 years and you thought you knew him.
Am not here to judge. But this the reason so many kids are in broken homes
I was in one of my relationships for 8 years without marriage. Neither one of cared because when I met her everyone around her was married and cheating and getting divorced. It was so bad that her best friend's husband divorce him while her mom divorced her Dad. To make matters worse the reason was her mother was having an affair with Her best friend's husband. It sounds like a K drama. The truth was that both marriages were terrible. Like Mary her father beat her mother. Then she found out that her best friend was truly a lesbiian and had numerous girlfriends and her husband did not know why there was no romance or intimacy in the marriage. Stay please tell Mary that she feels she is not entitled to wealth her husband has built but truly it is wealth that the two of them built while together. She sacrificed 21 years of her youth and highest value years for one man and he did not respect her wish for marriage. Sadly my guess is she does not know his life in the USA for the 11 months of the year. Legally in the Philippines she is entitled to one half of all wages and property bought together during their relationship which is well documented for 21 years and when he returned every year as an OFW he came back to share her bed. I have no clue why she is a battered woman as I saw her interviewed on other channels and I saw numerous men who were interested thinking she would be a great girlfriend then wife. That included myself. But she must be careful not to let the sins of one man in the past change the manner in which a quality relationship develops. But in the beginning she should say she is looking to marry and wants a serious relationship. In 6-9 months two people know if they should become engaged and plan a wedding. As for the money and property as well as material items she needs to set up a consult with Gracie who is a family law attorney that appears on The Filipina Peas channel. Mary according to Philippines law had a common law. marriage and finances would be treated in this manner. Mary should treat the division of assets as if half is hers because legally it is. Mary should watch this video that Gracie did with The Filipina Pea so she stops thinking morally she wants a clean break because legally under Sections 747 and 748 she is arguably entitled to half of his wages and half of the property they acquired together. It does not matter if someone made most of the money. Part of your job, which is more important, is raising the kids and taking care of the family unit and home for 21 years. If You would Like I will send you the link to this video if it can be done in this video. I say that because most Filipinas and Expat vloggers disable the link option on RUclips because of what people do wrongly. It would be in her best interests to watch the video and then set up a 1-2 hour appointment with Gracie to discuss everything. This is what is legally and morally right for Mary. It will also let her sever all ties with her ex because right now her life is financially intertwined with her ex and in doing so she hasn't let go of all tied which will ultimately lead to failure with future relationships. Her past is not in the past. Again, please contact me if you want a link to this video as Gracie has been on Pea's channel 4 or 5 times and she needs to watch the right video. I personally have read the Philippines law and review the case law from the Philippines Supreme Court to verify Gracie's legally opinion and you d everything she said was true. Yes, the American lawyer in me was curious. After 21 years she eclipses the 5 years other court says what makes a relationship actually like a marriage because that is how it functions and worked financially. Please tell Mary that what I am saying and what is the law in the Philippines is just, legal and morally right. Ingat.
Hopefully she will not rush into another relationship. She talks of love like a romantic young girl, but it requires a lot more than that.
Thank you so much for your concern I appreciate it ❤❤❤ and no I wont and dont have too 😂😂😂😂 I know him well when it comes to money so thanks.. my God is enough to support me and blessing me more than I deserved.. everything is temporary so as problems.. I left everything in his house its all his not mine.. he supports our kid well and that is good enough for me. My kid has a great father that fair enough.. spread love ❤❤❤ thanks again
@@sandrabentley8111thank you Sandra I am not rushing anything as a matter of fact I am just waiting and waiting and waiting 😂😂😂😂 but I am happy and contented now and just trying to spread love not hate Godbless your heart
All his possessions in your name, sweet.👀
Having been married for 21 years only to discover adultery and exercise my need to leave, I can easy detect the pain and disappointment under the veneer of smiles. She’s a brave woman who set and respected an important boundary for herself. Prayers for her and her children.
Thank you❤ Godbless
Marriage is not the end all. After my seven figure divorce, I will never allow it again. With assets in nine countries, I am a cash cow. The financial incentive for divorce is too tempting. My Filipina accepts my attitude, although she hopes I will change.
So, first of all, I want to commend your brave friend for being willing to make a very difficult choice for herself after so many long years of marriage. Not everyone can find the strength to do this, and it is not an easy choice or step to make. However, as a Westerner who comes from what we call a very dysfunctional family, I have learned through many many years of therapy that it is not healthy to always do everything for or to only think about other people. When you do this too much this means that somewhere in your developmental cycle (probably as a child), you learned not to think about yourself at all, because not getting your needs met as a child was too painful to bear. Your friend would do herself a lot of favors if she would start reading and watching videos on RUclips about healthy human psychology. My guess is that she comes from a narcissistic family structure, so videos on this subject would do her a world of good in understanding where she comes from, and why things in her world work the way that they do.
It’s a long difficult journey, back to a healthy state of mind, but it is absolutely worth it in the end.
.
Mary and her boyfriend were not married, which was why she finally left him. He refused to marry her.
Please break up your text into paragraphs. This is something everyone was supposed to learn in 9th grade English class. 😕
.
Thank you ❤❤❤
what a truly selfless woman total respect it's very diffucult to find such a person these days
Thank you ❤❤❤
Nothing is fair in this life.. evryone experience difficulties in life.
So true Raquel!
Mary sounds like she is still in love with her son's father. Personally I would avoid her because he would be part of any relationship with her. She probably would be happier if she became less involved with the son's father.
Her definition of love is quite skewed.
@@sandrabentley8111hhmmmmm really my dear? Tell me what real love is please so I will know and do the right thing this time thanks by the way 😉
21 years and 1 month a year ? And abuse ? I can't imagine. No chance I would tolerate that. Yet... I am not big on marriage either. But... I would do it in respect of the needs of the other person. However... it wouldn't change me relative to the relationship.
Very fun energy with this young lady. She would be a blast to sit next to on a cross country (USA) bus trip 🙂
😂😂😂😂 but thanks for your time and Godbless take care always
21 years was probably a little too long to wait. But better late than never.
Shay did she ever get married as of today ❤. She seems amazing woman ❤
Just seeing this at 10 months old. Has Mary found someone yet?
She's married. Please watch the wedding video.
I hope I never come across her or anyone like her in my life. I think there is a whole other side to this story. If she really love him, why would she leave after 21 years? Just for a piece of paper? I think there might be some manipulation here and he called her bluff.
Sorry to hear that Tim, should I not left him? I might be dead by now with cancer bc of stress most of the days 😢😢😢😢.our son sees everything and well aware of everything thats good enough for me..and besides were friends now and thats all that matters okay.lets move on and spread love not hate or negative ❤❤❤❤
Bless you Mary, lots of people do not understand that marriage is not just a piece of paper in the philippines, it's a way of life. Stay strong
@@crocodiledundeeethank you ❤❤❤
Would u like to tak to my one and only son who is d very first witness in everything i had experienced?pain sacrifice love that iHad jaut to work it out for 21long yrs?
I know you’re good alone but I’m praying for you to find a husband
That would make your good life even better
🙏🙏🙏🙏💕
❤❤❤
See ! I keep suggesting to all you Dumavloggers... more cooking 🙂
Sooooonnnnn thanks ❤❤❤
I would like to be with a filipina but I dont want to make myself vulnerable by getting married again. I did it once and dont plan on doing it again.
It will happen when you don't expect it :-)
The conversation to nowhere !!
Thank you GA! Sometimes nowhere is a place too. :-)
Mary sounds like a great lady, like to meet her
Yes, she is Charles :-)
Thank you ❤❤❤ Charles
@@maryloucagas553 good morning I hope ur having a blessed day.
You said he was away most of the time. Did he work on a cruise ship?
Feminist shit.... its sad in many ways, even if she had a bad husband... she loves money to mutch...
Wow! Sorry if you find it that way..but fyi if I love and want tooooo much of money.. I would've chose to atay bc I have everything on my name car house and his miilions on my account.did I get anything from it?not a single centavo sir.all I want is love care that I matter to him as a partner not a rug or anything nothing but useless even if I submit my whole life and cared and loved him..anyway were good friends now lets move on okay...do I deserve to have a man that love and care for me too until d end?I guess 😂😂😂 thanks ❤❤❤
@@LGR605thank you ❤❤❤
Ok this is a long story that 17 minutes is not enough. Mary only was with him for 1 month out of the year. This would kill most relationships. And that’s not a father as well . But there more then one side to every story. She went through a lot with this relationship. I hope she finds true love and she might still has it if this man decides to come and stay with her every day instead of one month out of the year
I am so confused. One month a year is not a relationship. How many women did he have in the US? What was she thinking?
@@sandrabentley8111i dont know dear 😂😂😂 thats all up to him.was he playing around?I guess thats why he wont Marry me 😂😂😂 we dont knkw dear but were done and Im happy his happy I guess so lets all move on okay 😉
Thanks ❤❤❤
Not all single mother's are good. I know, I married one. A (so called) Christian one at that, but that was my fault for blindly trusting that she'd changed and not waiting to see the fruit.
your "relationship" was 21 single months… less than 2 years total
I have been in love with Shay since i saw her on Leah's channel. Is she taken?
Yes, I am. Happily taken. Thank you for asking, and watching! :-)
Sounds like she is trying to convince herself that she is happy.
I think she is in general, but would like a partner to be happy with :-)
Nothing but respect for all the single mothers out there. Mary is someone I would be interested in if I lived in the Philippines. I’m sure she will find a good man. God bless you both. 😊
I will by Gods grace In his time.. thank you and Godbless you Donald
Shady
I would love to meet you
You are special
She chose wrong from the beginning. She should have gotten involved with someone who shares the same value as her. If you want marriage, get into a relationship with someone who values marriage. All I hear from her is poor decision making. Why was she not married before she had a child? She's not morally traditional. I really hope this western culture does not rub off on the East.
Im so aorry if i had not realised that as young as I am.and having no one with u to fight for u stand for u I guess I was too weak and didn't know what to do best but chose to do What I know is best for my heart
Being young is the lamest excuse ever. And what do you men you had no one???? Where was your father and mother? @MaryinthePhilippines
@MaryinthePhilippines this is why "dating" is absolute horse shit. Because women don't know how to choose, they choose based on emotions, which is not beneficial to life's purpose. And this is why it's important for families to decide who someone marry. Cause when women choose to do anything for their "heart" as you said, it only ends in tragedy. I hope you use your experience to teach young women the right things, which is family values and being obedient to parents and mostly having God involved in your life (hopefully you do).