How to invade, Russian style . An Arma 3 shitpost
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- A shitpost making fun of Russia.
Slava Ukraini
Mods used: CUP, RHS, Gcam
Music:
Cheeki Breeki Hardbass anthem
Russian national anthem on piano
• SOVIET ANTHEM LEARNS YOU!
Russia took almost half of Ukraine, which has 44 million people with 70,000 soldiers when the operation begin. I don't know what do you mean by this video? Russia is going as planned, it is going fast considering they are trying to avoid the death of civilians, plus the Ukrainian army is hiding behind civilians.
Greatest joke today xD
You should be a comedian, it probably pays better
Account made on December 11th, huh. Awfully close to a certain event.
You have nice imagination
Simply Serbian.
@@DerDop the forever serbian, forever coping and seething.
Step 10: Deploy Chechens as rear echelon troops so they can boost your 'morale'
Step 11: in the 26th day of the 48th-hour special operation, ask(beg) for MRE Rations from China.
You know it's bad when you ask *China* for MREs. That shit put SteveMRE in the hospital.
@@strykertron232 Lmfao
Chechens serve as scouts and humanitarian coordinators.
Those bullshit about rear echelon are not 100% truth.
@@jirikrajak "Those bullshit about rear echelon are not 100% truth." read it again, but slowly.
@@jirikrajak >Chechens
>"HUMANITARIAN COORDINATORS"
Holy shit, do you guys purposefully try to make this shit sound as funny as possible on purpose? Lol
Step 8: Eat expired food and loot.
Step 9: Get trapped inside an elevator.
Step 10: Put useless cages on top of tanks and fail to stop Javelins.
You know why the cage fail? Cause the javelin attack angle ( from 150m above) bypass the cage itself in some cases. Is like the cage is to high :')
@@laujah4021 Cage is too high and too weak to stop a javelin iirc, Sir Spooks made a video talking about it if memory serves
They think an RPG cage is going to stop guided munitions designed to penetrate tank armor.
Step 11: enter the exclusion zone and get radiation poisoning in the Red Forest
@@twanchee206 Step 12: steal radiation sources from Chornobyl NPP to *ensure* you get radiation poisoning.
I will never make fun of Hoi4 armchair generals again. Any one of them could legitimately have planned a better invasion.
Nah, walk into any elementary school and any child could have done better. The bar is so low I dare say getting an AI to give random commands would have been more efficient
They would do it the same as Russian Command, which is shit, or maybe even worse.
@@szyszus4683 RUSSIA 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻
Indeed :D Even I, with my experience in HoI4, would plan it better than Russians :D
@@realcritical-kr2dd Have you already got your paviestka, Iwan? :D
"Welcome to day 25 of our 3 day invasion."
It goes exactly as planned
Two weeks
Tankies be like: "BuT RuSsiA gAiNeD GrOuND"
@@LordVader1094
Ikr? Stupidest argument ever.
In case ya didn’t notice Tankie, this is the modern era. Wars move extremely fast, except of course if you mess them up so badly you’re slower than the German Blitzkrieg that was 80 years ago.
Hey Tankie, the Germans gained ground though right?
It’s so hilarious when they try to defend Russia, but I shouldn’t even read them or give them credibility. They might think they have a point
@@aspielm759 I know right! Yeah of course they will gain ground, but they never took a major city so far (at least a partially intact one (Mariupol)) and not just pulled out of the N
orthern offensive in the Kiev region. What a clusterfuck of an invasion.
VDV: *Sacrificed and sent into Ukraine without support*
Fallschirmjägers: First time?
They should try it a few more times, just in case
@@paecmaker Some random Ukrainian soldier: Ladies and Gentlemen, grab your Manpads and Stingers. I declare VDV hunting season officially open!!
British paratroopers in Arnhem: LMAO.
Failschirmjägers
My favorite part is the VDV song is now used to mock them
All it was missing was a farmer in a tractor towing away a BMP 😆
And excessive use of the song Bayryaktar
@@Attaxalotl it's like the fortunate son of Europe
@@راميالبنّى-ك4ذ Well, there is a Russian cover of Fortunate Son. :P
@@razer666L lol really?
@@gadgetro7184 Yup.
ruclips.net/video/hQwqCoezwrw/видео.html
Wdym shitpost? These are legit military tactics in the Russian Playbook. Only problem is the Playbook is from 1940s. :P
And it was already bad in 1940 😂
It’s evident in Russian Military history that they don’t know wtf logistics are lmao
I think it started in 1939 during the Winter War.
The strategy only becomes OP if America started sending supplies to help your war effort.
If it works... it works lol
The tactic: crush the enemy with cannon fodder
Your missing the T-72s with barbecue grills welded to the top or the ERA panels filled with cardboard inserts.
Can't wait until RHS updates the mod with cope cages
Don't worry guys, the Javelines can't penetrate
Could you please provide a link to a video or something of the "carboard filled" ERA?
And please don't get this as me telling you you are wrong or anything. I genuinely want to know.
I've seen some videos of the Ukrainian counter for Kontakt-1, "Nozh" or "Knife" being empty inside. So Id likes to see this Russian ERA.
Thank you in advance.
@@AlexOnTheSide183 here ruclips.net/video/sfULgjATtuE/видео.html
complete with (internet) analysis and stuff
@@AlexOnTheSide183 Doesn't it google?
Also it's actually a filler of some sort for an explosive, they were just found empty.
Vladimir Putin may very well go down as the greatest general in Ukrainian history.
When he stands next to who, Gomer Pyle???
Is that why he's winning?
@@Latrine1999 Russia isn't winning.
He's literally the Cuck of Kremlin that keeps on providing lol
@kira that's why they have connected the entire Eastern coast, broke through Kherzon and surrounded the two biggest cities in Ukraine?
Never thought I would see the russian army get smoked this badly and embarassingly. What went wrong? Are they still stuck in the 90s and havent learned anything from chechnya?
Russia is a nation of brutes that focus on massive land assaults. they kept their old ,outdated doctrine. Georgia, Chechnya , Afghanistan. Initial massive losses or casualties of the first pushers that would make modern Western armies frown in disbelief and horror . I'm glad though that they are stuck in the past. Makes them easier to pick off and less effective, so they will feel everything Ukraine is dishing out more....what left me totally speechless was the vdv waste in the first days. those were actual trained and experienced soldiers.... you fought the germans with the people you are currently attacking almost 8 decades ago, yet you learned nothing. Look at how much they trust their state media and deny anything else , whike justifying putin's actions in ukraine....hmmmm....doesn't this he is right we trust in him and just following orders highlight someone we are quite familiar with already in history lessons?
Dude... Those are 60s... actually doctrine didn't change since WW2...
They are russians you want them to learn something XDDD?
theres a misinformation campaign on both sides
ukraine is claiming all of their casualties as russian, even some foreign legion confirmed this
russia is not even talking about casualties only here and there
its pretty confusing so wait till end of war you will see the truth but rn everything's foggy
They couldn't keep up with western anti tank missile technology
So err... you know its a fustercluck when Arma players can create better mission briefs than Russian squad leads and Hoi4 players better strategic plans than the Russian generals whilst remaining decidedly not sniped in the head.
What
@@elmanco6885 Some russian generals went to the front to try and fix things because their comunications suck and got snipped
It would actually be a perfect start to a chaotic mission if it was setup as a complex plan but in the middle of the briefing the "general" just get sniped and everyone is ambushed, with the rest of the mission is just about survival and getting away.
@@elmanco6885 Russian communication aren't increpted so anyone with a radio in ukraine can hear them and a bunch of civilians and soldiers will just scramble their coms with random crap and shit talk one another. Most of the Russian generals plus an admiral were killed. so there is a lack of communication going on
U know shit’s bad when Hoi4 players can think of better military strategy than an “actual” military itself
The ineffectual AI makes this look so realistic
I absolutely love the visible panic in some of those trucks at the end, especially that KAMAZ that hits the truck in front of it, LOL
Poor fella didn't got to escape anyways
And knocking down the tree!
🤣🤣🤣
No scooby-doo van?
I tought its vital for AFRF doctrine
The Scooby-doo van would collapse your tower of stone :(
Secret plot twist : Putin was wearing clown shoes his whole life, waiting for the day they would shine.
pootin hidden talent
It's like Putin looked at Operation Market Garden and was like "that looks like a good idea, let's do that"
-Rush B
-Gets ambushed near the *B* ridge
- spams chat with phrase "Кикаете его, он читер"
you forgot to include russians getting lost and asking locals for directions
or just plain up giving up and either surrender to the Ukrainians or help said locals
Average milsim player has more combat knowledge than an average Russian solider.
You forgot "Send in elite paratroopers without ground support"
Oh air support? Nahhh never needed it
@@null5909 you meant ANY SUPPORT?
You need to add the bridge crossing failure and loss of Moskva in their next one, as well as being scared of mannequins.
You know, some russian couch-generals every time they see videos of their millitary getting pounded yell that it's actually an ARMA 3 video... So this video just might be real life footage🧐
this is not shitpost, it is documentary
And since it's ARMA, we can safely declare: no russians were harmed in the making of this video. Can't say the same for their dignity, though
True fact. Arma 2 and 3 along with Day Z are very popular to Ukranian gamers prior to the war. Its no wonder the Resistance is kicking ass.
They tryed to rush B but found the entire enemy team waiting for them
"Hacks! I call hacks!"
-Putin, probably
Putter thought the heilo rush would actually work IRL LOL! Must have been playing C&C before the invasion.
For his next act, the comedian, President Zelensky, will turn the Russian military into a joke! 😂
Underrated commentary
my estimation of russia as a country just fucking plummeted
Step 8. Call back home and inform them your platoon is wasted and you are a PoW
You left out decide to invade during mud season
Welcome to day 361 of our 3 day invasion
All according to plan
"Welcome to day 300 of 3 day invasion"
I have no knowledge of the Russian language, but I think that 3 days in Russia is equal to 300 in the rest of the world...
@@sevgameplay135 exactly yes
Welcome to the 220 th day of our two weeks special military operation 🌝
I love how blowing up a random hut in the middle of nowhere is literally what russia did to justify the war
Step 10: Station the soldiers in red forest
Step 11: Say they're on the defence as they camp in the red forest disturbing the radiation and catching acute radiation poisoning
Don’t forget the retreat, I mean “repositioning”.
The special reverse advancement operation
Your helo rush made me think of a great question. Did the Hinds have support from fighter aircraft? I don’t think so. Why the hell not?
VDV: rush B guys
*gets annihilated*
VDV:...
VDV: rush B guys
this isnt even a shitpost at this point lol also the ammount of russian bots on here is alarming
Yeah, they have swarmed here and then I have even removed a few
@@paecmaker those so called "bots" are either real bots, trolls, 30 year old neckbeards who support putin, or some 6 year old asian kid stuck in 2018 thinking that russia can still win despite the growing losses, low morale, and killed Generals.
2:33 I would be driving this truck right here, just ditching everyone else
They basically going in like Arma and Battlefield mode. Everybody go do their own stuffs when on the battle.
You forgot the t80s and t72s and the bmps sitting on the side of the road or getting stolen by ukrainian farmers. Haha love the vid man.
Rush Z
and last but not least; step 8-war crimes
There's an estimate going around that as much of 10% of Russia's Entire Army has been either Killed, wounded, captured or is missing after little over a month, not to mention vehicle losses.
That is a brutal attrition rate that would have bled even the Soviet Union dry within half a Year at most...
They invaded a country that they've been fighting for decades at this point and expected them to put up no resistance, accept their arrival and capitulate. The installed leadership is bad, but losing your sovereignty is so much worse.
nearing 20,000 dead now multiply by 3 to get the wounded thats 80,000 almost half their original troops out of action ans some of those wounded are permanant out of action.
They just pulled out of Kiev, Sumy and Cherkiv
Every week this gets better
1st Chechen war: Im not dumbest in class for now
Wait in a line
'Patience everyone, we will be sure to deliver your missile nice and hot'.
Bro, some comment here aged like fine wine. remember it's a 3 day operation, and it's been only 572 days (at the time I write that comment). Everything is fine 🤣
Some days when I feel down I just go through this comment section, it's pure gold
Pure gold indeed xD @@paecmaker
Wow. Russian generals must to be very smart
WoW i love how fast you guys did a real life documentary 😂🤣
Where did you get footage of my Wargame Red Dragon strats?
1:47 Well...old soviet habits die hard.
Step 8 -retreat- advance in the opposite direction towards Belarus and Russia
Day 366 of our 3 day military operation
Imagine being Germany and seeing this come from the same guys who beat you during a time when they were giving 1 gun to multiple soldiers, using barrier troops, and using smgs attached to planes as anti infantry.
My theory is that they were so drunk while invading, including Putin
N’LAW we trust! 🇺🇦
*Plan "Z" failed. We'll get them next time!*
Part ??? - make trenches in an Irradiated RED Forest and live there for a month....
Welcome to year two of of 2 week special military operation
"Everything is going according to plan." --Russian State Media
LOLZ
#SlavaUkraini
Cope.
1:39 lmao brake check on the background
Twice wtf
this is outrageous
I fairly believe Russian Convoys were Arma Wave Synced
Suda Suda malaguchi cheeki breeki i v tanke 🥳
Its okaaay they are trying to get rid of old tech so they can replace it with better one
Wait! What do you mean it's not a documentary?
Christmas is coming early this year almost 100k
Only NASA supercomputers can run ARMA 3 on 30fps
This video and comment section is something else. You have made me laugh so hard, thank you.
Thanks mate, and yeah I live for the mess that is this comment section xD
step 8: Fuck it, we ball
The one with the tank attacks, when the one with the tank is incinerated by the Javeline, the next tank drives through the Javelin kill zone, until incinerated!!
Repeat, until all Russian tanks are gone!
Can't wait for a news outlet to use this footage
Hey let's attach a modern industrialized republic as if it were a third world country and see what happens.....
Weird time we live in....Our world is on the Edge of WW3 and maybe nuclear extinction but the Internet doesn't give a Shit about it. But u know what? Its funny as hell so keep it going Kings and Queens 😂
and what would be the point of crying and shitting yourself in the face of a major conflict when you can make funny memes and roast the shit out of the suckers who started it all. #SigmaUkrainianGrindset
So Russia was going with mass Assault all of this time (HOI4 land doctrine)
Meanwhile Poland starts playing Tanc A Lelek.
Yea Mr.Putin is A really good battle strategist when it comes to hit die and run .
The russians have been playing wargame red dragon heli spam
Truly a genius strategy there russia, simply impeccable
Step 6 is a classic.
You forgot about the "drop your paratrooper regiments in the center of enemy territory so they can be surrounded"
Also, still wonder to this day what actually happened to the 40km long convoy, no way in hell they were all able to drive back with that many cars and little of fuel.
part of paratroops job is to be surrounded that is how they are taught to fight they are just supposed to hold a position until ground units can link up with them. airdrops are always a gamble and you have to control the airspace.
@@miketaylor5212 again, makes no sense then since they never controlled the skies, but also the places they dropped in was nowhere near places they could link up with the main force there were in the end 1 battalion I think that got out during the 40km convoy mess, but then in doing so they sacrificed alot of their leaders for such, as well as being forced to then leave the other 2 to 3 large armies of paratroopers. Even then, that should still be added to this just because of how much of a fuckup it was.
@@bibby659 I would say it's a 40 km long scrapyard now.
@@paecmaker with no other means of confirming what happened I guess thats all we can expect from it.
In war no one is above the NLAW😏😏😏
Good to see a high quality propaganda equivalent to the Russian propaganda !
This one is not much propaganda tho
this aint much propaganda. russia is getting @ssfucked as we speak
@@timsonins True. No good propaganda ever sounds like actual propaganda.
@@lotrlmao1648 this isn't propaganda. This is a video making fun of the horrible plans and logistics used by russia.
This is so sad I hope this doesn’t happen in real life
Accurate simulation
Pls make part 2
Many people want to see the end of Russia, but so far the end is on the cheek
За сталкеровский музон - респект! ))))
Day 56 or something of the 2 day war
Rush B!!!
Unless your haggard and single handidly invaded a country
Is this a documentary? Looks like it
All of this actually happened, so yes... LMAO
One year of Kyiv for 3 days🤣
Two now
take the main roads
It would be nice "How to invade Somalia being american"