Is Link Actually Competitive?

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  • Опубликовано: 19 сен 2020
  • What started as an innocent discussion on board games evolved into a deep, psychoanalytical, vulnerable disagreement. Listen to R&L open their hearts to each other on how they view competition, the effect that has had on their relationship and careers, and why this topic means so much to them on this episode of Ear Biscuits!
    EB #255, Original Release Date: 9/14/20
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Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @roonilwazlib4433
    @roonilwazlib4433 3 года назад +499

    Link’s definition of competition: trying to win against someone else
    Rhett’s definition: literally any emotion

    • @bestoftiktok315
      @bestoftiktok315 3 года назад +62

      Seems like some people (including Rhett) are confusing being non-competitive to being submissive or not caring at all.

    • @casey-capri2914
      @casey-capri2914 3 года назад +22

      haha exactly! he confused quite a few emotions with competition.

    • @kittykahdy
      @kittykahdy 3 года назад +6

      I know right

    • @todrobinson3733
      @todrobinson3733 3 года назад +20

      Right . Rhett: completion is waking up in the morning and eating breakfast
      Link: playing games

    • @daisydays8478
      @daisydays8478 3 года назад +3

      yes exactly what I was thinking Throughout the entire episode

  • @breemlew
    @breemlew 3 года назад +616

    The fact that Rhett is determined to convince Link he's wrong about how he sees things is kinda proof of who the competitive one is.

    • @jessesegel2606
      @jessesegel2606 3 года назад +2

      Isn't Link trying to convince Rhett that he's wrong about how he sees things?

    • @ulisesronald2069
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      @terrencearturo7750 2 года назад

      @Ulises Ronald Instablaster :)

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  • @f4llen4ngelx
    @f4llen4ngelx 3 года назад +639

    Rhett is so competitive, he’s making this a DEBATE instead of trying to understand where Link is coming from.

    • @terrykerekgyarto8769
      @terrykerekgyarto8769 3 года назад +63

      This was a tough one to watch

    • @ChubbySparrow
      @ChubbySparrow 3 года назад +22

      PixelaPlays✨🎮 100% AGREE!!!
      I would not want a friend like that who can't even hear me over his own competitive /stubborn nature.

    • @itsamekarenviolinist
      @itsamekarenviolinist 3 года назад +1

      Period

    • @madimay
      @madimay 3 года назад +26

      bro i was so annoyed with him the entire time

    • @sanchzilla477
      @sanchzilla477 3 года назад +19

      @Mi p bc Rhett and Link rolls off the tongue better lol

  • @cj3617
    @cj3617 3 года назад +546

    I feel like people who are competitive want everyone else to be, too.

    • @SaraOlivas
      @SaraOlivas 3 года назад +19

      (Unrelated yo Rhett and link cause I haven’t watched the whole video)
      I think you’re right. Cause they see it as a good thing (and it can be) and also cause if you’re a competitive person but NOBODY is trying to compete with you or doesn’t even care... It can be frustrating? Or no fun?
      I’d like to hear the point of view of people who are competitive

    • @nolynpiep
      @nolynpiep 3 года назад +12

      So they can compete with them too!!

    • @adambees2174
      @adambees2174 3 года назад +9

      Yeah, I agree with you in that competitive people want everyone else to be too, bc it pushes the competitive person to work harder. Like if I’m golfing against my dad who isn’t that good vs golfing against Tiger Woods, I’m not going to beat Tiger Woods, but I’m going to golf better because the competition is greater than golfing against my dad.

    • @hamzahmohammed5491
      @hamzahmohammed5491 3 года назад +9

      Aaaaand that sums up why I think Rhett is completely missing the point here :’)

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 3 года назад +3

      YUP. That's exactly what's happening in this conversation here

  • @Saivid
    @Saivid 3 года назад +277

    I don't want to win, I just don't wanna fail. I feel that so much.

  • @AirMulah
    @AirMulah 3 года назад +154

    I think Rhett might be so competitive that he can’t really understand how link doesn’t view things as a competition

  • @mscrawford87
    @mscrawford87 3 года назад +669

    I know we're not supposed to be taking sides, but I am 100% on Link's side here. Rhetts definition of competition was wayyyy too all encompassing.

    • @dyingsunflowers938
      @dyingsunflowers938 3 года назад +44

      Yeah me too. I literally know exactly how link feels

    • @todrobinson3733
      @todrobinson3733 3 года назад +11

      Agreed.

    • @averiellewalker05
      @averiellewalker05 3 года назад +25

      I fully agree with you. Rhett is more competitive than Link but at the same time Link just wants to have fun. Rhett just wants to win. At the end of the day it's all for entertainment.

    • @33mightymouse33
      @33mightymouse33 3 года назад +13

      Seems a little odd to take sides as that is something one often does for a competition (mebe you are all on Links side as competitive people your selves idk) but my lens is skewed as I am definitely competitive -- just want to take Rhetts side here so he has some points in this non competitive game -- all jokes

    • @MsSabina17
      @MsSabina17 3 года назад +10

      I was actually more on Rhett‘s side. I think Link has a very narrow view on the word competitive. He mostly sees it as a flaw and something unhealthy emphasized by saying it has to be healthy. Rhett just thinks It can be healthy or unhealthy and there are goods sides to being competitive. Also saying that you only want to succeed for yourself and not get a reaction or attention seems weird to me. Link seems to be concered about being conceived as competitive, even though there’s nothing wrong with it.

  • @whatiwasgoingtosay
    @whatiwasgoingtosay 3 года назад +247

    I’m not sure what the argument here was, lol. I feel like Rhett was trying to project his perspective of competition onto Link and then got very competitive about winning the argument, when there really never was one.

  • @JOKEROU
    @JOKEROU 3 года назад +206

    Link giving up and Rhett celebrating he had won the argument but yet telling Link 'you don't have to say you're competitive' really sums up the entire discussion.

    • @umey3445
      @umey3445 3 года назад +15

      Rhett only said he didn’t have to call himself competitive because link would want to use another word, not understanding that different words have different meanings

    • @kaldo_kaldo
      @kaldo_kaldo 3 года назад +3

      @@umey3445
      I'm not a woman, I'm a man.
      But there's a 'man' in woman right?
      I guess
      I WON, but you can continue to call yourself a man np

  • @sydification313
    @sydification313 3 года назад +251

    1:13:22 - 1:13:35
    Rhett: “I’m doing like 1.2 speed, 1.25 I think. That’s just about as fast as I like to get.”
    Link: “Yeah, I can do like 1.3.”
    *Rhett continues talking*
    Link (softly): “That was a joke.”
    Underrated joke 😂😂

    • @maryjo3255
      @maryjo3255 3 года назад +19

      Totally under rated joke esp in the context of competiviness. I heard in on the Audio PodCast earlier in the week.

    • @lindsaykathleen8985
      @lindsaykathleen8985 3 года назад +45

      Very typical of Link. He's always slipping in an underrated joke under the radar. They often go unacknowledged, but someone mentioned it in a comment once and ever since then I have noticed them much more often.

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 3 года назад +5

      Whoa, I didn't catch that when I listened, that's a good one

    • @luismelhorancaa
      @luismelhorancaa 3 года назад +6

      I really think at this point in the conversation they were already very uncomfortable and tired and Link tried to joke around and Rhett was simply on his personal mission of winning his argument and moved on to another point.

  • @sammybabi
    @sammybabi 3 года назад +183

    Heres what I appreciate most:
    No one raised their voices
    The use of "what I'm hearing" or "what I'm feeling"
    It took a bit but you still accepted eachother at the end

    • @whatiwasgoingtosay
      @whatiwasgoingtosay 3 года назад +30

      I agree. These are two guys who have a high degree of emotional intelligence.

    • @bu3asalli
      @bu3asalli 3 года назад +15

      I saw that, that was a great example for great communication 👏🏼 I hope I can apply that in my life and find someone that can do the same for me

    • @StannaUS
      @StannaUS 3 года назад +18

      All their years of conferences, groups and therapy show here. I wish more people, particularly men, were taught these kinds of communication skills. 😀

    • @wackybrattyx
      @wackybrattyx 3 года назад +3

      Same! I’m going to start using that.

  • @calebers996
    @calebers996 3 года назад +404

    Rhett couldn’t have demonstrated exactly how much more competitive he is than Link any better than he did in this episode. This was so off-putting to listen to because I typically agree with Rhett’s perspective a lot of the time, but he was way out of pocket here. I’d encourage Rhett to leave his ego at the door and really listen back to what Link was saying here, i.e. that being competitive isn’t inherently bad, and that Rhett was in fact projecting his own views onto Link the whole time.

    • @ChubbySparrow
      @ChubbySparrow 3 года назад +12

      Caleb Fletcher 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
      100%

    • @DiscoSamurai
      @DiscoSamurai 3 года назад +7

      Spot on comment, Caleb. Bravo.

    • @kammelzer9086
      @kammelzer9086 3 года назад +5

      Exactamundo!

    • @imjakehiggs
      @imjakehiggs 3 года назад +37

      Thank you. @Caleb Fletcher
      I fall into a space where I genuinely want to agree with Rhett because I generally think of him as the “cooler” one out of the two.
      As I grow older I feel more closely related to link because he has always been who he is. To his own faults, and his own advantage.
      Links hardened since of self-ness is something Rhett strives for.
      In my own opinion.

    • @ChiselMouse
      @ChiselMouse 3 года назад +24

      I don't think Rhett is a bad guy, but Link seems much more emotionally mature.

  • @MrDavrob
    @MrDavrob 3 года назад +106

    Being a advocate for yourself is not the same thing as being competitive.

  • @CapitalCCapitalC
    @CapitalCCapitalC 3 года назад +391

    Link is an only child, so theoretically he didn't have anyone at home to compete with. Maybe having siblings and birth order greatly plays into ones competitive nature.

    • @stephaniedepreta7144
      @stephaniedepreta7144 3 года назад +27

      As an only child I completely agree!

    • @micky2493
      @micky2493 3 года назад +25

      As an only child, I don't agree. I'm always super competitive and always trying to be the best. I think one's character is more of an influence rather than having siblings IMO.

    • @emiliaholmberg3320
      @emiliaholmberg3320 3 года назад +6

      I agree. I, who grew up with two younger siblings had to compete for everything, and now even getting a drivers license turned into a competition with me and my sister who’s 18 and I am 20 and am in the process of getting my license

    • @CapitalCCapitalC
      @CapitalCCapitalC 3 года назад

      @@micky2493 being the only also makes you the first so your competitive nature could be considered a quality of the first child. I am 1 of 5 but Im the only girl so I do sometimes display characteristics of being an only child 😁.

    • @CapitalCCapitalC
      @CapitalCCapitalC 3 года назад

      @@emiliaholmberg3320 right! You grow up competing for attention, accolades, toys, tv, games, sometimes for the sole reason of proving you're better at something.😂

  • @Dan-Simms
    @Dan-Simms 3 года назад +475

    Rhett is not very good at explaining this and he is being so competitive trying to prove his point, it is hilarious. Rhett you are very competitive, you play to win, whereas Link plays to play. He just wants to be involved and pull his weight.
    Edit: knowing how you both grew up, Rhett being a younger bro had to be competitive when growing up, where Link being a only child never had to compete when young. This can really shape the way you view the world internally. And makes a lot of sense.

    • @pamelafulks582
      @pamelafulks582 3 года назад +8

      well said !

    • @KrackDaddy
      @KrackDaddy 3 года назад +1

      @@pamelafulks582 indeed

    • @GratefulEdge
      @GratefulEdge 3 года назад +25

      You hit the nail on the head. I think Rhett associates getting attention, feeling worthy and loved as a competition (vying for attention) because that's how he felt growing up in a family with siblings. Rhett, also, interprets personal drive (achievement) and envy as competition. While these characteristics can be associated with competition, not all people that want to achieve or are jealous feel like they have to beat another person.

    • @sydandtaytum
      @sydandtaytum 3 года назад +6

      this is such good insight that i never thought about. absolutely it has to do with family dynamics when you are growing up. i identify with link because being an only child, i also didnt have to compete with anyone. i think the difference between a competitive person and a non-competitive one is not necessarily how they play the game but how they react to losing. for a competitive person, they get mad when they lose and immediately want to play again to beat the winner. for a non-competitive person, they might still play really hard to win, but a loss doesn't really bother them at all. i am definitely the latter.

    • @Kelly-iw7on
      @Kelly-iw7on 3 года назад +14

      @@GratefulEdge " Rhett, also, interprets personal drive (achievement) and envy as competition." I think you hit the nail on the head. I think they are both struggling with terminology and things have got muddled.

  • @dabizniz5276
    @dabizniz5276 3 года назад +317

    Rhett seems to have a hard time accepting that there is a difference between being competitive and being driven.
    Being competitive means doing well compared to others.
    Being driven does not necessarily include comparing oneself to anyone else.

    • @Jeff-Smith85
      @Jeff-Smith85 3 года назад +6

      That's just one idea and definition of competitive though. They needed to understand what each other defined competitive.

    • @cmd0113
      @cmd0113 3 года назад +25

      @@Jeff-Smith85 Rhett's definition of competitive got broader the longer the conversation got, it came to a point that it no longer felt like he was genuinely listening to why Link doesn't feel that way.

    • @dianadias3
      @dianadias3 3 года назад +1

      This summered it all up..

    • @emilypresleysee
      @emilypresleysee 3 года назад +1

      The actual definition is to be as well or better than others. It's about comparison like you said but there is only one definition.

    • @samj1486
      @samj1486 3 года назад

      yes but as he said that's exactly why it turns into competition instead of just drive. if the were solo entertainers it would be drive but because they each have another half of their duo to meet the standard of it now makes it competitive because they kind of have to compare themselves, like they both said.

  • @AllTheArtsy
    @AllTheArtsy 3 года назад +198

    Rhett: "I'm not trying to win!"
    Also Rhett, in this entire conversation: *loudly trying to win*
    Link seems like he values excellence, for himself. He wants to be good. He wants to pull his weight. For himself. It seems like he doesn't even care abt Rhett, aside from if Rhett contributes to the whole, and make them as a duo better.
    Meanwhile, Rhett cares about being as good as or better than Link. He seems to want to contribute as much as or more than Link. He judges his output based almost entirely on Link's.
    So, yes. Link is not competitive. Rhett is. Rhett in fact is so competitive that he wants to armwrestle Link into admitting that he is competitive, too.

    • @_Maxten
      @_Maxten 3 года назад +17

      I think it was more so Rhett initially trying to compliment Link but Link's "yeah but-" regarding competition resulted in Rhett feeling defensive and wanting to reel Link back in because he wants him to acknowledge that his POV is not a negative thing and is valid so Link can finally accept the compliment.

    • @isaackoma7035
      @isaackoma7035 3 года назад +1

      Woah😳

    • @kristenmulligan3401
      @kristenmulligan3401 3 года назад +17

      All The Artsy I found Rhett entering the stage of abuse in this conversation and I felt bad that Link could not walk away. I had to turn this episode off as it was sickening to watch.

    • @BrainGrapes
      @BrainGrapes 3 года назад +19

      @@kristenmulligan3401 relax yourself, Link is a grown adult. This was far from abuse lol

    • @runxthexjewels
      @runxthexjewels 3 года назад +8

      All The Artsy wow how completely wrong have you got it? Your just painting link as a meek guy whose a pushover and can’t defend himself

  • @jackierulz2
    @jackierulz2 3 года назад +488

    I completely disagreed with Rhett this entire episode which is rare!! Nothing against him, but this entire conversation felt like Rhett being competitive about "winning" this conversation. 😂 There's definitely a difference between being competitive and holding yourself to a specific standard and wanting to meet that standard, for YOURSELF. Which is what Link is. He's always trying to be the best he can be for himself, not to be better than anyone else.
    I know I don't know these men personally... But I've definitely been watching y'all for years and I can say with confidence... Rhett, you are very competitive and Link, you are not. 😂 If Link was competitive, he'd have a much harder time with losing most games lmao

    • @lllCTHULHUlll
      @lllCTHULHUlll 3 года назад +26

      I agree, for the most part. I think Link is competitive, but I don't think he prioritizes winning over all else. I don't think being competitive and desiring to win are the same thing. I say this knowing full well that I'm the Rhett of my relationship.
      Most often, the reason I get annoyed with Rhett is because I can see him making the same mistakes I do. Winning feels especially good for people with self-esteem issues. You're getting endorphins, adrenaline, and a nice ego boost.
      I personally think Link is more comfortable with who he is and Rhett finds that intimidating or difficult to achieve. I've never felt that Link was judging Rhett for wanting to win. I think he's made a conscious choice to let Rhett have the satisfaction of winning because it's his bro and he cares about him. Mom always says, "Pick your battles." And winning isn't a hill Link is ever going to die on.

    • @todrobinson3733
      @todrobinson3733 3 года назад +5

      Yes and no. Yes to Rhett being competitive and no to link not being, haven't you watched the show from the beginning? Every time the play a game you can see links emotions on his sleeve when he usually looses . If he had no competitivy* he wouldn't show the dread of losing over and over and on the rare occasions he wins he over celebrates to the point Rhett or one of the crew says something. I think y'all are buying into the portrayal link puts on for the cameras. After all it's for the views

    • @jackierulz2
      @jackierulz2 3 года назад +17

      @@todrobinson3733 of course, everyone is competitive to a certain degree. But competitive is a word I'd use to describe Rhett, it's not a word I'd use to describe Link. I think everyone knows that everyone is competitive in a competition, that's the point. Link is similar to me. I WANT to win, if I can... But I'm also fully not expecting to win and although I wish I did win, I'm not butthurt when I don't. Not that Link just rolls over when he loses, obviously no one is happy about losing, but Link doesn't get actually irritated (usually 😂) when he is. I often times feel a tension coming from Rhett when he's losing, he's "a sore loser & a prideful winner" I guess lol.

    • @jackierulz2
      @jackierulz2 3 года назад +9

      @@mikeycrackson I also feel like being naturally competitive is what makes people get into sports! I've never liked sports, I have zero drive to win at a sport. I am the worst team member ever because I really don't care to win. 😂 Rhett was born more competitive and that's part of why he was into sports, and being in sports only makes someone more competitive. And that's a pro as much as it is a con, in my opinion. Definitely not saying it's bad that Rhett is competitive, but I think he's wrong in saying Link is the same.

    • @todrobinson3733
      @todrobinson3733 3 года назад +4

      @@jackierulz2 I fully agree but think that your not seeing the full picture . You don't create a world watched podcast if you're not competitive. I think everyone necessarily fallen under links guise of he's not competitive and Rhett is while all the while forgetting they are entertainers.

  • @SeriousCreeper
    @SeriousCreeper 3 года назад +261

    Competition vs Ambition? They really should have asked each other how they define competition lol

    • @User24x
      @User24x 3 года назад +55

      They did throughout the pod, but Rhett wouldn't accept Link's definition.

    • @AllTheArtsy
      @AllTheArtsy 3 года назад +36

      @@User24x exactly. Every time Link says that to him competition is where one wins against others, and that he is not motivated by the need to win, Rhett twists the conversation to encompass anything Link gives as an example as competition.

    • @Jeff-Smith85
      @Jeff-Smith85 3 года назад +12

      Exactly! They kept misunderstanding one another because they are using very different definitions of competitive.

    • @TracyDi
      @TracyDi 3 года назад +32

      Link did multiple times. Rhett refused to understand. He only listened long enough to retort or respond. I found Rhett to be pretty obnoxious in this episode.

    • @cmd0113
      @cmd0113 3 года назад +12

      It seems like some people are confusing being "non-competitive" to "not caring" which leads them to the conclusion that in a sense everyone is somewhat competitive.

  • @shawnasideas
    @shawnasideas 3 года назад +217

    Link has such a good heart. He just wants to hold everyone up.

    • @Crazee108
      @Crazee108 2 года назад +1

      Yes he wants to prop ppl up including himself. Whereas rhett wants to be better.

    • @haileyshurley2761
      @haileyshurley2761 2 года назад

      He really does💚💜❤💚💜❤

  • @ErikCPianoman
    @ErikCPianoman 3 года назад +695

    I think Rhett’s argument is fundamentally flawed here or he’s not communicating what he means well. He’s saying if someone strives to do their best or good in anything, that makes them a competitive person. One can be passionate and motivated about something without being competitive. Imo he’s broadening the term to encompass more that what it truly means.

    • @ianburkard
      @ianburkard 3 года назад +21

      Yeah this was a rough one. They were dissecting intent during potentially competitive scenarios. At the end, it was clear that Link was still confused, and just conceded to end it.
      Based on watching these guys for years, I'd say that their true desire to win vs trying to make an activity successful (for entertainment purposes) flip flops depending on the activity. Their perception of their performance/audience judgement, and the reaction of the staff, strongly contributes to how they behave.

    • @Omnicraze
      @Omnicraze 3 года назад +36

      True, but there is philosophical merit to his argument. I agree with him when he says that, ultimately, all everyone ever wants is to make themselves look good or feel good about themselves. Rhett's argument is that even a competition with just yourself or an idea of yourself is, in itself, a competition. He's not arguing that everyone wants to win, he argues that everyone wants to compete. Whether that is in small or large amount.
      That being said, it is funny to see Rhett being so competitive in arguing, which makes him a little biased. But I don't completely disagree with his points. I just think most people view being competitive as a negative thing.

    • @BasketxCase
      @BasketxCase 3 года назад +7

      @@Omnicraze exactly. you can't be a successful entertainer(especially not one in a duo) if you're not as good as the the other guy. that's competition.

    • @BasketxCase
      @BasketxCase 3 года назад +7

      @@Omnicraze I think it's his insecurities telling himself he's not fit for competition which is obviously not true cause he wouldn't be where he was if he wasn't. It comes down to the lens he sees everything through. I wonder if he's still going to therapy and I really hope he checks out that rec he understand his point better.

    • @AngersFiction
      @AngersFiction 3 года назад +3

      Just watch today's GMM and GMMore to see Link being competitive and frustrated in losing

  • @pinoymemesofficial8661
    @pinoymemesofficial8661 3 года назад +90

    This felt a lot more like Rhett trying to prove a point, rather than having a discussion. Like when a parent makes a wrong assumption and broadens everything they said and go "what I ACTUALLY meant was" until you kinda agree with them.

  • @_Maxten
    @_Maxten 3 года назад +267

    link: its only a competition if you're trying to beat someone
    rhett: but you are trying to "beat" someone, you're beating the version of yourself that had a subpar performance last
    link: i call that improving/meeting my status quo
    all in all, rhett's competitive nature views it that way because it works for him so he sees it that way for link. But is link actually competitive? it depends how you look at it, but genuinely, only sometimes. However that doesn't mean hes a competitive person. its like just because you surf on the rare occasion doesn't necessarily mean you're considered a surfer.

    • @AllTheArtsy
      @AllTheArtsy 3 года назад +43

      Rhett conflates self-improvement with competition. You can be better, without competing with anyone else. To call that "competition" is just to try to win this argument.

    • @dyingsunflowers938
      @dyingsunflowers938 3 года назад +2

      Hes just dedicated

    • @33mightymouse33
      @33mightymouse33 3 года назад +4

      In that moment of surfing though what are you ?

    • @_Maxten
      @_Maxten 3 года назад +9

      Colton Porter just someone who is enjoying surfing at the moment

    • @33mightymouse33
      @33mightymouse33 3 года назад +3

      Fair enough -- for me I could just as easily say hey look at that person enjoying surfing over there or hey look at that surfer over there and in my head they both make the same sense

  • @arika6
    @arika6 3 года назад +47

    The fact that two people can have this long of a conversation to attempt to clarify language shows a lot of character. Understanding or just the effort to understand is really under prioritized.

  • @ln3980
    @ln3980 3 года назад +57

    I relate so much to link whispering ‘oh god’ throughout this episode

  • @jonzcrypto
    @jonzcrypto 3 года назад +38

    Throughout this episode, Rhett continuously chooses to not see the point that Link keeps making - Rhett is viewing all of this through a competitive lens.

  • @LoveAuntieJan
    @LoveAuntieJan 3 года назад +67

    Link to Rhett: “You want to win...I don’t want to lose!”
    ✌️🕊❤️ SPOT ON, PERFECT EXPLANATION! ❤️🕊✌️

  • @sandydog426
    @sandydog426 3 года назад +61

    Super interesting conversation. Rhett, I don’t think realizes the extent to which his insecurities inform his competitiveness and how that looks interacting with others. He spent the whole time trying to make Link see things his way instead of entertaining the notion that he might be wrong. It’s not even really being wrong, as Link said; Rhett cannot even handle being disagreed with here because of what he thinks it would say about him. I do think it comes from a vulnerable place though; Rhett is at his core a really caring person, but because Link is more outwardly warm and softer, he’s afraid he looks less empathetic in comparison, so he needs Link to at least also be competitive even though Link said multiple times it’s not a negative trait or an insult. I think Link was trying to say that he is motivated and competitive as well, but that’s different than being a competitive person, which Rhett most certainly is. I liked the nice things they said about their partnership, and I like that they can have this conversation.

    • @wackybrattyx
      @wackybrattyx 3 года назад +5

      Yeah, that’s why I also feel compassion for Rhett. Because, he wanted to be validated here. That he’s not “bad” for being competitive. But, in trying to do so, it almost...achieved the opposite (?) and now he’s being judged for how he went on about it!

    • @sandydog426
      @sandydog426 3 года назад +9

      @@wackybrattyx I definitely think it comes from a very legitimate place! Rhett is a great guy but is probably used to Link being the "sweet" or "nice" one. I think it hurts him when he's perceived as not being empathetic or kind just because Link is more outwardly so most of the time. Rhett stated here that he's afraid that he sounds like an asshole a lot of times just in comparison to Link. So I think this whole thing came from a genuine concern and anxiety, but yeah, his execution is based in a competitive need to not feel "less" in some way. Very interesting EB.

  • @quyentruong1224
    @quyentruong1224 3 года назад +169

    Link: I don’t think I’m being competitive I think I’m just trying to be equal
    Rhett: JUST ADMIT YOU’RE COMPETITIVE, THERES NO OTHER WAY
    This episode gave me anxiety right before bed man

  • @Ursidae96
    @Ursidae96 3 года назад +305

    Not choosing sides over here, but i think the title should be Rhett trying to prove Link is Competitive.

    • @goose6619
      @goose6619 2 года назад +3

      It's more like "Rhett Bullies Link into Agreeing With Him"

  • @emilyblau9652
    @emilyblau9652 3 года назад +32

    I genuinly relate to Rhett in this converation so much. He wasn't even right, he was proving how competitive HE was to Link who just wanted to converse, he wanted to make Link agree. I am Rhett in this and this kinda showed me how I look to other people when I get into conversations just like this.

  • @pseudonymXYZ
    @pseudonymXYZ 3 года назад +68

    "I don't want to feel like a side kick." was such an honest expression. I love the two of you together. Having someone positive in your life who makes you want to push yourself to do better is a wonderful thing.

    • @pdfbanana
      @pdfbanana Год назад +1

      that is kinda how i perceive him honestly. "the businessman and the boy" joke hit so hard because there was a some truth to it

  • @eeo1973
    @eeo1973 3 года назад +186

    In the way we the listener hear this conversation, Rhett and Link have different definitions of competitiveness. Link does a good job of explaining why he doesn’t define himself as competitive and Rhett does not do a good job of explaining why he thinks Link is competitive. However, this conversation probably actually comes from a place that we the listener aren’t privy to. These guys have decades of history together. They know each other well. Maybe too well. I think the real issues between them weren’t actually touched on. It made me uncomfortable to listen but it seems like a healthy conversation for them to have.

    • @lewisdean107
      @lewisdean107 3 года назад +32

      Thank god for your comment. It's frustrating to see how many people in the comments think that watching Rhett and Link's content gives them the credentials to weigh in on how their relationship works. I couldn't imagine being Rhett (or even Link tbh) reading through these comments. It would be infuriating and depressing and everything inbetween.

    • @8888zod
      @8888zod 3 года назад +4

      ​@@lewisdean107 yes! agree with both of y'all here. i can't imagine them reading these comments. it's uncomfortable to watch, but also vulnerable. they put so much of themselves out there for us, doesn't mean we know everything. i expect people to be more understanding of this. for a relationship of this length and depth, these kinds of conversations happen and can get sticky. folks literally don't have the license label it the way they have. it's honestly rude. i hope they aren't responding to people they know like this. so unhelpful.

    • @katelynbrown98
      @katelynbrown98 2 года назад

      I think it's not just that they know one another too well, but that they're too close to one another and have a pressure on themselves. (At least Rhett seems to have put a pressure on himself.) to make their friendship perfect and therefore the best to consumed as content for their income. Even if this wasn't that deep of a conversation for them, I think they probably need space away from one another & grow their income in other ways than just their shows. I think this will help them grow and give them new skills.

    • @MrE_
      @MrE_ 2 года назад +2

      It's two people arguing about something due to confusion, when in reality they agree on the points they are arguing about. It's like someone arguing that something is better, but the other guy says no it is greater. Then they argue for an hour about greater vs better when they actually agree on their points

    • @Crazee108
      @Crazee108 2 года назад

      It definitely felt like I was intruding on s private conversation and I loved every minute of it haha

  • @grim_241
    @grim_241 3 года назад +103

    Rhett: I THINK...
    Link: I FEEL...
    Rhett: you're wrong and here's why...
    Link: how is that wrong if it's what I feel?
    that's mainly what this whole episode was, and how I believe their whole friendship has been. We know that Rhett IS competitive. And we know Link CAN BE competitive. But if we want to answer the original question 'Is Link just as competitive as Rhett?', this whole episode is proof that he's not. They just define competition differently.

    • @lewisdean107
      @lewisdean107 3 года назад +12

      Gonna be honest, comments like this really frustrate me. Even with how vulnerable these two can be on camera, we see such a small part of their lives through their content, so tbh none of us have any right to be defining their relationship.

    • @grim_241
      @grim_241 3 года назад +4

      @@lewisdean107 I never said it was a bad thing being competitive. I also just gave an opinion on how they interact with each other as best friends. Anyone who has watched them for years would probably come to the same conclusion that Rhett is more analytical and extremely competitive. But you're right, we as fans only have a narrow window into their lives, while they have spent a lifetime with each other. They are the only and best judge of their relationship. There was no ill will behind my comment. i love and care about them both!

    • @lewisdean107
      @lewisdean107 3 года назад +3

      @@grim_241 Understandable, I'm just thinking about this from their perspective because we all know they'll have read through these comments by now.
      What Link said at the end is important too but widely seems to have been ignored by a lot of commenters (not necessarily yourself): "Let's not take sides, but continue the conversation"

    • @kaldo_kaldo
      @kaldo_kaldo 3 года назад

      @@lewisdean107 They also said that at the start of the video

  • @HPisAWESOME22
    @HPisAWESOME22 3 года назад +117

    This episode made me reeeeally uncomfortable... I love Rhett but he was being quite gaslight-y. Truly empathised with Link in this one.

    • @benrolfe8490
      @benrolfe8490 3 года назад +17

      And he then has the gall to say he feels like Link is gaslighting him!? I love Rhett too but I feel he kind of missed the mark on this one.

    • @shawnasideas
      @shawnasideas 3 года назад +18

      Yeah, I feel like whatever he’s dealing with in therapy was thrown all over this conversation. Lots of projecting imo

    • @irelandoreilly1575
      @irelandoreilly1575 3 года назад +14

      I agree...uncomfortable!beating against a rock!...Rhett is great overall- but this flaw is relentless! "Gaslighty" is right on! Rhett is convinced that if he uses enough words...explains over explains ..that he can convince link to see himself differently. Why is this So very 'impordant' to Rhett???? This does Not feel worth anyone's time!! Ugh!

    • @flamewolf2956
      @flamewolf2956 3 года назад +9

      I have a similar personality to Rhett, and I’ve had to catch myself getting into the gaslighty zone, I think it stems from, in the mind of a person in rhetts way of thinking they are right, and to some extent are, but the other person doesn’t use that definition it’s a level of frustrating I can’t explain and seems to be unique to a few personality types

    • @nallorlives
      @nallorlives 3 года назад +5

      @@benrolfe8490 I know! When Rhett was like, "I don't want to say you're gaslighting me..." I was like, "SAY WHAT???"

  • @prabhatbhandari
    @prabhatbhandari 3 года назад +70

    I completely understand where Link comes from. I am similar in wanting to not lose more than wanting to win, for better or for worse. And there's some confidence issues and insecurities involved in my part.

    • @annicebrown4617
      @annicebrown4617 3 года назад +3

      I 100% agree with you I honestly think Rhett has a lot of insecurities and some jealousy towards Link

    • @channelthehappyness1756
      @channelthehappyness1756 3 года назад +2

      I completely understand and relate to link too and feeling like everything has to be good enough but that doesnt mean your competitive. It just means you want things in a certain way 😜. He seems so emphatic. Link has a good heart. 💙

  • @SirNecro
    @SirNecro 3 года назад +52

    My take from this is that Rhett equates the drive to succeed with competitiveness. It appears that Rhett looks for a competitive element to gain further drive to succeed at any given task. Where Link finds his drive to succeed from somewhere else. You're clearly both driven to succeed, you both overcome the obstacles to allow you to succeed. Rhett finds a competitive aspect to help motivate his drive, Link motivates his drive through a fear of failure. So I think the term competitiveness is actually misplaced in this context.
    So when Rhett says I think Link is just as competitive as I am, he's actually saying, Link is just as DRIVEN as I am.
    Thats my take.

    • @shawnasideas
      @shawnasideas 3 года назад +5

      Agreed, this is all about how they’re internally motivated from different places but Rhett wasn’t seeing that,

    • @yvpb
      @yvpb 3 года назад +1

      This is an actual constructive helpful comment!

    • @Jahloveipraise
      @Jahloveipraise 3 года назад +1

      This is the best comment i have read on this thread. I seem to be like the only one on rhetts side. I do feel he came on too strong and it was difficult to listen to, but fundamentally the drive to succeed or fear of failure both stem from being competitive imo. In order for them to stay relevant in the entertainment industry, they absolutely must stay competitive.

  • @juyukiyoko8231
    @juyukiyoko8231 3 года назад +45

    As a perfectionist myself, I think Link is driven by doing things the best way he can. It's really satisfying to find the best method you can think of to do something and see success in the result. I think his desire to do things in his best way possible is a bigger drive for him. It makes me think of that GMM episode where he was explaining how to use a bath towel the right way or when he was talking about his wardrobe system.

  • @lilitulee
    @lilitulee 3 года назад +28

    I like how they started this video by asking people not to take sides, but by the end of it everyone was siding with link regardless 😂

  • @RChaha
    @RChaha 3 года назад +135

    Yeah I’m not going to lie, this was a rough one to listen to. I felt like Rhett was letting his own need to prove the point get in the way of hearing what Link was truly saying. It was hard to not emphasize with Link. I completely understood where he was coming from. And I definitely come from a place of just, not wanting to lose. Feeling like you’re playing catch up with the people around you. Rhett wants to dominate. Link just wants to get by.

    • @mirawenya
      @mirawenya 3 года назад +5

      I’m not too far in yet, but it’s interesting... I see both their points. And it really seems to be about what lenses you see it through.

    • @RChaha
      @RChaha 3 года назад +3

      mirawen yeah I definitely think it depends on where you’re coming from. I can certainly see where Rhett is coming from but I identify with Link, so I think that shapes my understanding of this. Which is neat, and also perfectly natural. (I listened on Spotify and I’m watching it now. It’s interesting to see it now after listening.)

    • @AllTheArtsy
      @AllTheArtsy 3 года назад +18

      Yes! Every time Link says he wants to be excellent and pull his weight, but he's not competing. He doesn't see it as a competition. But Rhett has to bulldoze him into admitting that, "nope, actually what you just described is you being competitive actually."
      And he has the gall to say that he feels like Link is gaslighting him! Whaaaat??

    • @RChaha
      @RChaha 3 года назад +18

      All The Artsy yeah the gaslighting part was DEFINITELY tough to hear. I’m sure for Link it was tough to hear. Like, after all this time, you think I’d purposefully make myself look like the victim or make myself seem better than you because I want to appear as a better person than you? Seems like that says more about Rhett’s insecurities than Link’s.

    • @sierranicole6138
      @sierranicole6138 3 года назад

      Is that not competition. If you didn’t care about competition at all you would feel no need to catch up, it wouldn’t be your focus at all. I agree with Rhett, he’s telling his truth. I also don’t want it to feel like I’m taking a side bc my mindset feels very similar to links but both of those ideas are rooted in competition

  • @User24x
    @User24x 3 года назад +123

    I don't think that wanting to get better at something equals being competitive. It's Betterment/Mastery.
    Being competitive is more about "wanting to win." Competition means one wins and one(everyone else) loses. One is better; one is worse.
    I want to be better than them vs I want to be better at x skill/thing. So Winning vs Performance/Output.
    Rhett's definition of competition is different from Link's... And Rhett can't accept that lol

    • @averiellewalker05
      @averiellewalker05 3 года назад

      Exactly!

    • @siezethebidet
      @siezethebidet 3 года назад +3

      I think it would have helped a lot had the word "collaboration" entered the conversation. Rhett is casting all things as competition whereas Link is describing collaboration. Similar actions but very different driving forces.

  • @dyingsunflowers938
    @dyingsunflowers938 3 года назад +69

    I'm waiting for the "we're both great"

    • @ChubbySparrow
      @ChubbySparrow 3 года назад +5

      Nikita McLaughlin 🤣🤣🤣
      I'm great...
      No I'm great...
      No.
      We're both great!!

    • @nallorlives
      @nallorlives 3 года назад

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @jeercydee
      @jeercydee 3 года назад +1

      that’s all I felt this entire ep omg

  • @aresteves
    @aresteves 3 года назад +57

    I see the "I dont want to lose" as " I dont mind if we TIE" much more than "I want to win"...
    I think some of this conversation was just driven by rhett wanting to win it, ironically.........
    ....why does rhett mix motivation and competitiveness? i can be motivated without being competitive..... he assumes if I'm not competitive, I'm not passionate or I don't anything enough....

  • @charlotte8654
    @charlotte8654 3 года назад +53

    The whole eb was just like:
    Rhett: I feel this way and therefore you must also feel this way
    Link: I honestly don't feel that way
    Rhett: Why are you personally attacking me?

    • @charlotte8654
      @charlotte8654 3 года назад +20

      also: rhett even bringing up the word 'gaslighting' in relation to this conversation rubbed me very much the wrong way.

    • @videosestranhosfilmadoscom7478
      @videosestranhosfilmadoscom7478 3 года назад +1

      True.
      I like them both but this is exactly what the whole episode was. :/

    • @michelleen158
      @michelleen158 3 года назад +3

      @@charlotte8654 That's the point where I had to turn it off.

    • @MarcMeal
      @MarcMeal 3 года назад +6

      Right and because Rhett doesn't want to look like the bad guy they had to add the intro in. All the talk about not taking sides and such. It's an entertainment business and Rhett is totally sold into it. You can see it across the board over the last several years. Go watch old videos it is drastically different. Even in their deconstruction videos it all came down to how they are perceived.

    • @embrio.
      @embrio. 3 года назад +1

      Rhett really cares about this. His self-concept hinges on the idea that being competitive isn't wrong. He's fighting tooth and nail to defend his integrity when this is all just semantics. His definition of competition includes elements of collaboration and ambition. Rhett is competitive, collaborative, and ambitious. If he stopped trying to defend his competitiveness, he might realize that what he and Link have in common, and what makes them a great partnership, is their collaboration and ambition.

  • @kuromurasakizero9515
    @kuromurasakizero9515 3 года назад +44

    wanting to be your best has absolutely nothing to do with being competitive. Progress, Success ... does not need competition to happen, just a lot of humanity base their drive on it.
    competition =/= motivation or striving to be your best.
    For me, in most things, I see absolutely no competitive drive. If I were to create a song, it isn't to have a better song than artist X; or if I wanted to draw, it doesn't need approval of others nor be compared to any artist or genre. If we go bowling, I'm not trying to have a higher score than you, I just want to get strikes because I strive for personal perfection; but I'm never trying to 'beat' my previous score; each round is in its own envelope of existence. There is no win/lose from my perspective when it comes to the 'game'. Only in how you perceive yourself is there any real judgement or success. For me, competition in this sense is petty, while at the same time I see it as necessary for many to drive them and for society to work (businesses tend to take a dark turn without competition).
    What I think Rhett is trying to force is the fact for him, personal drive to be your best is derived/based on being competitive with both inward and outward markers. Not everyone is motivated the same way. He isn't crazy, but does need to be a bit more open minded that not all humans think or are driven the same way ... and can still be successful.
    The point Link was trying to make was his desire to be better is based on a personal desire to strive for perfection, not to be in competition with anything. Rhett can only interpret that as competition with one's self because it is his paradigm.

  • @Nutarei
    @Nutarei 3 года назад +33

    Rhett's attitude toward Link has bothered me for a long time now, and it's coming out more in this episode. I don't want to be rude or negative, but Rhett doesn't seem to respect Link. He always talks over him, interrupts him, and makes him the butt of the joke. Link insists it doesn't bother him, but I don't really believe him. In the end, even if it doesn't bother him, I don't think it's a good example of friendship, like I think they'd want to portray.

    • @Felorina
      @Felorina 3 года назад +4

      I agree

    • @nallorlives
      @nallorlives 3 года назад +2

      Yep

    • @irisj2264
      @irisj2264 3 года назад +8

      Yes, sometimes it’s not as strong but I’ve been a long time viewer of theirs and I’ve felt this subtly even years and years ago. I agree with what you said about respect and I remember seeing all the examples you listed in their videos.

    • @Heavymetal16
      @Heavymetal16 2 месяца назад

      and Rhett is gaslighting Link a lot! Especially in this episode! But im glad Link stood his ground and didnt let Rhett "win"

  • @melissadonaggio423
    @melissadonaggio423 3 года назад +157

    This was borderline uncomfortable to listen to. Rhett was absolutely incessant. He’s relentlessly trying to get Link to admit he feels a way that he doesn’t. I understand everything Link said, but clearly Rhett doesnt lol ultimate summary- they have different views about what is a competition

    • @ihatehousework
      @ihatehousework 3 года назад

      Or maybe what they are competing at

    • @jasonclark8921
      @jasonclark8921 3 года назад

      This was very difficult to listen to..

    • @msmiami212
      @msmiami212 3 года назад +22

      As a psych grad, it wasn’t difficult to hear but engrossing and very frustrating to not just solve it for them. It’s not different views on competition at all, they have the same one. Rhett is just ‘misdiagnosing’ Link. Link doesn’t have the pride/ego of ‘I want to win’ or ‘I don’t want to lose to others’. It’s actually an opposite of pride where ‘I feel so close to failure so often that 1) I’d rather not compete in a perfect world and 2) Because I have to, as it’s a part of life, I must give 110% (any less would potentially make me a failure in my eyes). In Link, it’s the absence or opposite of pride/ego/drive. He doesn’t desire outward success or the process of competition as much as Rhett. His lack of self-belief/pride/confidence means he constantly overcompensates to even feel halfway decent. He doesn’t have a drive towards success as much as a fear and sense of inadequacy that pushes him away from failure - This wrongly makes him look motivated by success, like Rhett thinks. He’s not.

    • @Crazee108
      @Crazee108 2 года назад

      @@msmiami212 oh that's how I saw it too! In a running race, rhett wants to win and that's his drive and motivation ie competitiveness and the feeling of potentially being victorious. Whereas link just doesn't want to be seen as a "loser" even if he's last he wants to be seen like he's given it a fair go, so the drive isn't competitiveness, the drive is the fear of failure and embarrassment and doing everything to avoid that. Link is trying to avoid a negative feeling whereas rhett is trying to reach for a positive feeling

    • @Crazee108
      @Crazee108 2 года назад +1

      @@msmiami212 I know its a year later but that's a perfect summary and I feel I'd they read that it would make it all make sense 😅

  • @jefflagace909
    @jefflagace909 3 года назад +59

    Wikipedia: "Competition arises whenever at least two parties strive for a common goal which cannot be shared: where one's gain is the other's loss". Therefore, I believe Link is correct that you are working together for a common goal that you both SHARE....that is not the same as a sport for example where there are definite winners and losers. So in this scenario, BOTH win in striving to be the best you can for each other and that is not a competition.

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 3 года назад +1

      Exactly. Rhett got wayyyy too caught up in personal stuff that he lost sight of where the observation that he's competitive comes from: games on GMM that don't really matter but where there is a clear winner and loser

  • @omgitsabbie
    @omgitsabbie 3 года назад +32

    Rhett you should know that Link is your biggest fan deep down. Just like a younger brother looks up to an older brother, sure they compete sometimes but I think it's more of an admiration. Like wow I hope I can be as funny as Rhett today or whatever it might be. This was frustrating but also endearing bc you could tell Link has a pure heart and just wanted his friend to stop being so defensive lol but that's what makes your friendship interesting bc you can have these deep talks like this, thank you for letting us be a part of it. We love you guys!

    • @siezethebidet
      @siezethebidet 3 года назад +3

      -Abbie French - I agree that it is commendable that they let us hear even these difficult exchanges. Genuineness is a rare commodity in social media & entertainment. This is why I value these two so much.

  • @nfinitecontradiction6758
    @nfinitecontradiction6758 3 года назад +32

    I think Rhett has a very strong desire to be viewed as a cerebral, intelligent person and not just stereotypes that people have put on him in the past. I think he believes viewers see him as just a goofy funny man. I think in the past a lot of people also likely viewed him as just a dumb jock. I think episodes like this expose his insecurities along with his competitiveness.
    Link does not have the same insecurities but i do think he has insecurities that relate more directly to Rhett.

    • @stephanieneal5658
      @stephanieneal5658 3 года назад +3

      I totally agree with this. I think he is very proud of what they have created together but also feels insecure about being known solely for GMM. I think he knows he is capable of more serious things and he has an issue with people not seeing this side of him. I would bet money that they struggle with GMM taking so much time that they can't spend enough time on other projects to grow as creators that are unrelated to GMM. I think this bothers Rhett more than Link. I think Rhett feels more of a need to prove himself to the world. I don't think that is a flaw, just a (possibly competitive) personality trait but maybe Rhett wonders if this is a flaw.

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 3 года назад +2

      I do think he is that kind of cerebral, intelligent guy. Watching old episodes of GMM, it does kinda show. But I do think you hit the nail on the head

  • @MarcMeal
    @MarcMeal 3 года назад +14

    This conversation was exhausting

  • @dustinmiller273
    @dustinmiller273 3 года назад +52

    I feel for Link on this one. It seemed like Rhett would not let Link disagree with him, because of how Rhett views him. I have had people convinced that they knew how I was thinking about a situation when it simply wasn't the case. It can definitely be frustrating, so kudos to him for being patient.

  • @herbherbs1890
    @herbherbs1890 3 года назад +79

    Link: “I like to read it at 1.3”
    I got your joke link. Got a good laugh out of it!🤣👍🏼

    • @jaybee2978
      @jaybee2978 3 года назад

      😂😂😂

    • @andrewzach1921
      @andrewzach1921 3 года назад +1

      herb romero read your comment before link said the joke, glad you brought it up or I might have missed. I lol'd.

    • @cristinadearest
      @cristinadearest 3 года назад +11

      And his quiet little "that's a joke..." 😂

    • @WHALEx3
      @WHALEx3 3 года назад +1

      I don’t know if I missed the joke or haven’t gotten to it yet.

    • @skylerjade16
      @skylerjade16 3 года назад +16

      🐋🐋🐋 at 1:13:20 Rhett said he listens to the book at 1.2x speed and link said “I can do like 1.3x” jokingly making it a competitive of who listens to books faster. I missed it too. I had to go back and hear him say it again lol

  • @OrlockBJ
    @OrlockBJ 3 года назад +42

    Rhett wants to be the best.
    Link wants to be good enough.
    Period. That's this whole thing. 😁♥️

  •  3 года назад +45

    Listened to the podcast driv8ng from Tallin in Estonia 🇪🇪 to Kaunas in Lithuania 🇱🇹. This was great company. Thank you guys.
    I feel that the BIG difference in how each of them see and feel and act on the concept of competitiveness stems from childhood experiences. Link is an only son, Rhett has brothers. One sees it as negative at its core, Link. Equating it to a violent way of relating. The other, Rhett, as a game or training of sorts to spark evolution, as in getting better as an individual but also as a group, family, team and society.
    Again thanks for copiloting the northeastern roads of Europe with me.
    🙏🏻💪🏻👋🏻

    • @menulis3
      @menulis3 3 года назад

      Have great stay in Kaunas

  • @megant6212
    @megant6212 3 года назад +91

    This was hard to watch. Rhett complains about always being called the bad guy but I think he deserves it this time. Link was vulnerable about his self-esteem issues and Rhett didn't take them seriously.

    • @missbeaussie
      @missbeaussie 3 года назад +13

      I think they were both vulnerable, it just presented differently.

    • @shadymotel11
      @shadymotel11 3 года назад +10

      I wouldn't say he's being the bad guy here, just more that he was unintentionally trampling over Link while not hearing what he was saying. I don't think he meant any ill will. At the same time, it was hard to hear Link be vulnerable and open up about his confidence issues and Rhett skip right over them, not acknowledging what he said and not applying it to their conversation. I don't think Rhett is a bad guy at all but I do think that this was unfair, to try to shove Link toward the admission that he was competitive when Link repeatedly tried to explain himself.

    • @edeliteedelite1961
      @edeliteedelite1961 3 года назад

      He did take them seriously and was trying to help. It just didn't work out.

  • @MattePurple1
    @MattePurple1 3 года назад +113

    Link may not be competitive, but he's definitely self-preserving. You can tell every time he insists on "Dink It and Sink It." He doesn't like being in a position to lose (International Taste Test/Darts), which isn't necessarily the same thing as being competitive.

    • @DrRR20231
      @DrRR20231 3 года назад +7

      The dink and sink is more that he wants to reestablish that he loves being in a partnership and sharing and winning as a team

    • @TasiaLyn
      @TasiaLyn 3 года назад +4

      Yeah dink it is so sentimental and sweet

    • @TasiaLyn
      @TasiaLyn 3 года назад +3

      Also a useful thing to bring up that he so often losses the games, if he was competitive or a sore loser the show would have ended years ago

  • @terryloweh
    @terryloweh 3 года назад +144

    i felt that link was very uncomfortable with this

    • @cmd0113
      @cmd0113 3 года назад +61

      I think everyone who actually got what Link's points were got uncomfortable watching as well, including myself.

    • @lllCTHULHUlll
      @lllCTHULHUlll 3 года назад +49

      @@cmd0113, can confirm. The worst thing you can do in an argument is to try and force how you perceive the other person on that person. Basically, you're not what "you" think you are. You're what "I" think you are. I don't understand how he's been in therapy this whole time and he's using mostly "you" statements instead of "I."

    • @ChubbySparrow
      @ChubbySparrow 3 года назад +25

      I would have been if I were Link too. Lifelong friends & you can't even stop to hear me out because your competitive nature is more important? Maddening.

    • @herbivore7108
      @herbivore7108 3 года назад +8

      Very uncomfortable to watch Link be defensive and try to defend his point for 1 hour 17 min. 😐😬

    • @Mr12Relic
      @Mr12Relic 3 года назад +3

      39:58 was the part where his voice starts to really show it

  • @henryenriquez7350
    @henryenriquez7350 3 года назад +50

    I think that they are both very motivated to pull their own weight, but that motivation is fueled by very different things. Rhetts is fueled by competition while Links is fueled by insecurity. Rhett got him because of the motivation argument, but what he doesnt seem to understand is that being motivated does not equal being competitive.

    • @tamarra7
      @tamarra7 3 года назад

      I think this explains it perfectly.

    • @TheGameCommentater
      @TheGameCommentater 3 года назад

      You accurately stated the actuality perfectly 👌. Ive never wanted to jump in between a ear bisquit more xD

  • @djsmith4763
    @djsmith4763 3 года назад +14

    Its like every time link tried to explain his self to rhett, rhett's brain goes to sleep or something.

  • @SuneSkeel
    @SuneSkeel 3 года назад +19

    This is just 80 minutes of Rhett refusing to understand that inner motivation or drive, or call it what you want, can come from other places than being competitive. I believe this is something people who are really competitive themselves have a hard time understanding, that those of us who are not competitive, can have a whole range of other reasons to strive for perfection in whatever we try to achieve.

  • @yesrgh2118
    @yesrgh2118 3 года назад +39

    Firstly, this was great entertainment and one of my favourite episodes. Secondly, to answer the question "Is Link actually competitive?" - YES...he can be, but he doesn't have a competitive personality or value competition as instrumental to success like Rhett. Link dislikes being in competition with others, as opposed to Rhett, who embraces the competitive element in all aspects of life and his relationships. Rhett views Link's positive response to competition i.e his tendency to rise to the occasion rather than shying away from it as a sign of covert competitiveness, when really, competition just creates anxiety for Link and ignites his fear of failure, which is what drives him to compete, NOT a love of the competition itself. This is where their misunderstanding comes from, just because Link's drive to succeed in life matches Rhett's level of intensity, and he achieves positive results through "competing" (as Rhett sees it), this doesn't mean he is competitive by nature. Link is a perfectionist, whose main pursuit is personal excellence and when it comes to "competition" or "drive for success", which is what the conversation is actually about, he is driven mainly by a fear of failure and insecurity and a fear of not measuring up against other people/Rhett and limiting both of their success. I genuinely don’t think that Link's drive for success registers as competitiveness for him and THAT in itself is proof that he isn't naturally competitive like Rhett.

    • @LadyCynthiana
      @LadyCynthiana 3 года назад +1

      Excellent analysis.

    • @bambutroben
      @bambutroben 3 года назад

      THIS.

    • @karyllespiritu
      @karyllespiritu 2 года назад

      YES. I see myself this way too that's why I empathize with Link here.

  • @phattony2000
    @phattony2000 3 года назад +19

    the competitive person trying to win the argument that the non competitive person is in fact competitive.

  • @Samantha2209
    @Samantha2209 3 года назад +20

    This episode made me really uncomfortable. You all need to replay this for your therapists... every thing (EVERYTHING) that Link was saying or trying to say made sense and I just don’t feel like Rhett wanted to accept his responses. And Rhett talking over Link all the time? Not cool. Putting words in his mouth and trying to get him to say that he’s competitive? Man... kinda disappointed here.

    • @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep
      @BonJoviBeatlesLedZep 3 года назад +2

      Yep, Rhett could definitely benefit from playing this for his therapist. Link could probably give a cliff notes

  • @EduardaSerafim
    @EduardaSerafim 3 года назад +27

    I love that they opened this up by saying "don't pick sides" but none of us agree with Rhett

    • @xXhellokitty2k10Xx
      @xXhellokitty2k10Xx 3 года назад +4

      i understand what they said at the beginning but it’s hard to tell people not to take sides when the conversation seems more like a debate

    • @samj1486
      @samj1486 3 года назад

      I do lol

    • @EduardaSerafim
      @EduardaSerafim 3 года назад

      ​@@samj1486 really? wow pretty rare opinion hahah, I get where he was coming from but I think his definition of competition is just way too broad and he wasn't really listening to Link

  • @meenaz1934
    @meenaz1934 3 года назад +86

    Waited all week to SEE this...nail biter
    I've listened to this several times this week and sorry not sorry I completely side with Link and I think Rhett is projecting his insecurities. But the fact that "it's still good" proves what an amazing friendship they have

    • @indicolite3355
      @indicolite3355 3 года назад +7

      I didn't detect any insecurities. It was just Rhett seeing things through his own lens.

    • @meenaz1934
      @meenaz1934 3 года назад +4

      No...I think his insecurities are very subtle, like his height for instance? And there's a slight jealousy of the other being funnier (from both of them)

    • @meenaz1934
      @meenaz1934 3 года назад +2

      But anyway....I still think they're both brilliant human beings

    • @mackenzie1845
      @mackenzie1845 3 года назад +5

      honestly i think the issue is that when link calls rhett competitive, the way he says it sounds like competitiveness is a bad thing, so i think rhett is trying really hard to be like "well you're competitive too!" so that link stops insinuating that being competitive is bad

  • @Sam-hl7mi
    @Sam-hl7mi 3 года назад +55

    This is so frustrating to listen to lol they have different definitions of competition and rhetts definition of it shows exactly how competitive he is, and he just CANNOT let go that link thinks of it differently.

  • @ecpcharles
    @ecpcharles 3 года назад +10

    discussion aside on what competition is, I appreciate the fact that they posted such a vulnerable topic that may not have shown (one of) them in their best light.

  • @WellMeaning
    @WellMeaning 3 года назад +34

    Rhett my dude you're projecting

  • @minorking1121
    @minorking1121 3 года назад +56

    I was going to say I agree with Link, but every comment already says that.

  • @exquisitemoments
    @exquisitemoments 3 года назад +15

    I just want to say regardless of the topic, I really admire and appreciate the vulnerability level you are both willing to reach. These types of conversations aren't always easy and having them cool headed is a challenge in itself.
    Thanks to both of you for letting us into a private, intimate conversation between friends and work associates who have clearly had to learn to navigate demanding parts of what it means to have a relationship.
    Kudos :)

  • @AlchemillaVideo
    @AlchemillaVideo 3 года назад +8

    I've never commented on any of your videos, but I have watched every episode of ear buscuits and have been watching you since your guys' cornhole song. Rhett, you got defensive and were trying with all of your might to prove yourself right. This left me with a slightly sour taste in my mouth. I love you both very much.

  • @ehargis1
    @ehargis1 3 года назад +11

    One of the best lessons that I have learned about any sort of argument is, "Make sure that you are arguing about the same thing". This conversation was never going to go anywhere because they couldn't even get on the same page as to what they were arguing about. Actually, now that I think about it, they needed to agree on what the word competitive means in a general sense, before even diving into the conversation any deeper. The fact that Rhett's definition of what being competitive is SO completely off base and intertwined in so many aspects of his life, there was no way to work through this.

  • @CosmicMapping
    @CosmicMapping 3 года назад +46

    Rhett's equating the pursuit of excellence to competition, which to me is defined as the dominance of others, as winning out over other people. His diagnosis of Link is totally on point, but his descriptor is TOTALLY off.

    • @jenna_bean0_137
      @jenna_bean0_137 3 года назад

      CosmicMapping yep this exactly what I was thinking

  • @Mattteus
    @Mattteus 3 года назад +7

    This is the kind of conversation that you have with someone you’ve known a long time

  • @playwerk
    @playwerk 3 года назад +41

    Picture metaphorically this scenarios:
    Rhett is hunting a tiger and Link is running away from a tiger. And Rhett screams to Link: “You see Link... you are just as competitive as I am!”
    Rhett wanted to win SO BAD… and Link just didn’t wanted to be stigmatised for something he’s not... but he is so uncompetitive, that he just gave in at the end. And this whole thing is based on a personal perspective. And that Rhett does not except Links personal perspective on himself seems pretty toxic to me.
    The way this whole conversation went down (Rhett won and Link gave in) is a perfect prove that in the end Link is right... ironically! Rhett won and lost at the same time!

  • @lindsaykathleen8985
    @lindsaykathleen8985 3 года назад +33

    Rhett's really pushing his viewpoint on Link in this ep. Hard to hear him not listening and trusting that Link is telling the truth about how he feels.
    Also just frustrating as Rhett consistently cuts Link off and talks over him to make a counterpoint, instead of just letting him speak.

  • @phillipanderson9228
    @phillipanderson9228 3 года назад +40

    I appreciate this was deep and introspective, but this was pretty torturous to watch. Rhett really came across as insecure, trying to force Link to admit that he views things the same as him. It's like a therapy session gone wrong. Comparing yourself to others in life and viewing that competitively is not considered healthy by any reputable therapist or mental professional. And let us not forget the competitiveness of the female Ghostbusters, trying to outdo each other and get more jokes and lines in the movie than their fellow actors. This strategy doesn't create great films or fun creative endeavors.

  • @smickers52
    @smickers52 3 года назад +44

    I usually love this podcast but this conversation specifically is giving me anxiety bc I feel like Link can't get a point in. I feel like this all just stemmed from Rhett feeling judged and trying to cover it up. Rhett was quite domineering and even manipulative over Link in this episode. I don't like how he was so confronting personally over such a silly/simple issue. Honestly it'd be nice to hear an "I WAS WRONG" and maybe an apology from him next week.

    • @MsSabina17
      @MsSabina17 3 года назад +1

      sarah adams I dont think he was trying to cover that up cause he openly admitted he felt judged by Link for being competitive. I dont think he meant to offend Link or attack him personally. He just couldnt understand Links definition cause it’s so different from his. He was just trying to make him understand his point of view and that they are not so different.

  • @readem_blog
    @readem_blog 3 года назад +93

    rhett can't understand that everything he is describing is not competition bc he's so competitive 😂

  • @TheChillennial
    @TheChillennial 3 года назад +37

    Hey daddies, new drinking game.
    Take a sip everytime you hear:
    "I just think that"
    "I believe"
    "I feel"
    "Edit"
    "Competitive"
    "I dont look at"
    "If we"
    "Its not a bad"
    "Personally"
    "Motivated"
    "BUT"
    "Let's say"
    "You dont"
    "We want"
    Note - Dont really do this drinking game. You will die.

    • @49dikshasingh
      @49dikshasingh 3 года назад +3

      "Lens

    • @rosie6441
      @rosie6441 3 года назад +2

      * Lens and I agree*

    • @thatpianoboi4082
      @thatpianoboi4082 3 года назад +1

      I blacked out

    • @mayyysee
      @mayyysee 3 года назад +1

      Alternative: if you're not trying to die of alcohol poisoning, just drink water instead. You'll be very hydrated 😂

  • @bojanap.7194
    @bojanap.7194 3 года назад +41

    To me, what Rhett is describing is comparison (with tiny dose of jealousy) and that's a different thing than competition. Wanting to look good/handsome or be funny has nothing to do with competition. Wanting attention has nothing to do with competition. Being prideful has nothing to do with competition. Those are all different things that sometimes, but not always, can be intertwined. When they do things together, they are partners, a duo. They cannot be even or the same. They can both look good, but they'll look good in a different way. They can be both funny, but in a different way. That's why, in the end of the day, it cannot be a competion.

    • @BasketxCase
      @BasketxCase 3 года назад

      You don't get attention unless you're better than most other people. Is that not competing?

    • @bojanap.7194
      @bojanap.7194 3 года назад +1

      @@BasketxCase You can get attention for all kinds of reasons, including a moment of competition, but not always.

  • @georgelopezlover0
    @georgelopezlover0 3 года назад +68

    I know rhett won’t like this, I but I disagree with him. He sounded like a broken record and like he was trying to win a conversation which shows his true competitive side.

    • @flamewolf2956
      @flamewolf2956 3 года назад +1

      As he said though, he knows he’s more competitive just asking link to say the he is also, while being less competitive, still competitive

    • @davea11
      @davea11 3 года назад +11

      @@flamewolf2956 why does link have to admit that? What link is describing sounds much more like wanting equity than competition. Rhett's argument that any form of wanting to do well is based in competition but that's not true. You can want yourself and everyone to do well - which is equity or equality and that sounds much closer to what Link is expressing ..

    • @MsSabina17
      @MsSabina17 3 года назад +1

      Dave A I think it’s because competitiveness is a huge part of their brand and of Rhetts personality so he wanted Link to understand what it means to him.

  • @DJNiellyQMusicSetList
    @DJNiellyQMusicSetList 3 года назад +73

    Don't be too hard on yourself Link. Nobody is perfect.

  • @MelanieAnneAhern
    @MelanieAnneAhern 3 года назад +9

    Just wanted to comment because-whether I agree with Link or Rhett on this particular issue-I just wanted to say that these types of conversations are by far my favorite part of Ear Biscuits :)
    I love the silly AMAs and friendly banter, but I really start to tune in and focus when y’all start to psychoanalyze each other lol. What that says about me, who knows. All I know is those are the types of conversations I love to have with my family and close friends, so it’s cool to hear the breakdown and process of others! Really enjoyed this episode :)

  • @umey3445
    @umey3445 3 года назад +33

    This was the only ear biscuit I haven’t enjoyed. I think rhetts definition of competition was a giant stretch and made up just to try to win this debate which shouldn’t have been a debate in the first place. Instead of listening and understanding where link was coming from he was only focussed on being right and I found it to be a tough listen. In no way was link ever saying that being competitive is immature or wrong and making a judgment on those people, it’s his own fault for reading into that. Sometimes rhetts ego gets in the way and this is one of those times

  • @moonlightcake
    @moonlightcake 3 года назад +17

    I have to say that I found this to be kind of a weird thing for them to argue about.. why should Rhett try to make Link agree with him that he is a competitive person, when they don't even share the same definition of what being competitive actually means! If being someone who wants things for themselves or whatever is enough to make someone competitive, then.. almost everyone would be. I do think the definition should be way more narrow than that, otherwise it wouldn't actually be a useful way of describing a person at all. Also, I agree with Link that playing to win and playing to not to lose are inherently two different things.

  • @stephaniedeuss3295
    @stephaniedeuss3295 3 года назад +18

    Hoo boy. I feel like I was a fly on the wall at couples counseling

  • @lilmisssydnis1
    @lilmisssydnis1 3 года назад +8

    This conversation hurt my head lol Rhett gets competitive about explaining how competitive Link is and Link is just listening 🤣 self advocating is not the same as competing.

  • @Jopeymessmusic
    @Jopeymessmusic 3 года назад +10

    Rhett's behaviour in this conversation is hilarious, he strikes me as someone who grew up with siblings. There is a definite competitive nature there as opposed to Link who didn't have that growing up.

  • @annie_pko2991
    @annie_pko2991 3 года назад +28

    I definitely think that Rhett was projecting a lot of himself onto Link. He seems to be coming at it as if to say, "Well, if I am this way, then Link also must be this way." That's a dangerous way to think, because it start to seem that Link only exists to Rhett as another version of himself, like a mirror, instead of being his own individual person. Maybe this is something that happens with couples or partnerships, where it starts to feel as if you are one entity, but in reality Rhett is Rhett and Link is LINK. I think Rhett needs to allow (and maybe that's not the right word) for Link to be his own individual with his own views and his own personality traits. He needs to come from a place where he realizes that he and Link are, in fact, different and that's not a bad thing.

    • @missbeaussie
      @missbeaussie 3 года назад +3

      I think that's because he feels judged. He wants people to see them as more equal.

    • @msmiami212
      @msmiami212 3 года назад +2

      He knows they’re separate entities. He’s just making the logical deduction that if Link has been striving as hard as him for the same goals all their career and he (Rhett) is competitive, then Link must be competitive too - otherwise what is the driving force behind Link’s actions? I don’t think that minimises Link into an extension of him, quite the opposite.

  • @paris7937
    @paris7937 3 года назад +9

    As a pretty competitive person myself, I consider competition in all aspects as a more exciting way to do things. The desire to win may hail from our need for importance(as do many other things we humans do) but a competitive person cares more about themselves winning than beating someone else. I don't think Rhett or any other highly competitive person should be misjudged on this issue. It's just a different way of going about life (even though it may sometimes feel like we hate the opposition). Just embrace that everyone is different!

    • @bambutroben
      @bambutroben 3 года назад +3

      For sure! That bieng said, Link's not competitve like that and that's ok too.

  • @COYOT3_7
    @COYOT3_7 3 года назад +6

    At the end, when Link said "Yeah, I can do 1.3." I laughed so hard and felt like I was the only one to get the joke.

  • @readem_blog
    @readem_blog 3 года назад +8

    let me sum up what link was trying to say: rhett, you are competitve because you see non-competitive things as competitive.

  • @josettenanda3100
    @josettenanda3100 3 года назад +18

    I think Rhett was mixing up comparison with competition. Comparing yourself to someone else does not necessarily mean you are competing with them.

  • @North_9
    @North_9 3 года назад +4

    Rhett is redefining "competitive" to support his argument. Striving for excellence is not a sign of competition., it's pride. Rhett is so competitive, he can't understand that not everyone is as competitive as he is.

    • @North_9
      @North_9 3 года назад

      Also, it's not about if Link is NEVER competitive, but whether or not Link is as competitive as Rhett.

  • @JTOwens89
    @JTOwens89 3 года назад +3

    I think Link was accurate in bringing up their difference in confidence levels as being the key difference between them. It was made clear that they both want themselves to be viewed as an important and equal part of their whole.

  • @Vojife
    @Vojife 2 года назад +2

    This is a classic example of a discussion where the two people agree with each other but just have different definitions of words. :D

  • @raukuracave4714
    @raukuracave4714 3 года назад +7

    Links lense is I'm not interested in winning I'm just trying not to fail.
    Man that hit me so hard. I also agree that competitiveness or competition is trying to win or trying to best the other person.

  • @zoeelle93
    @zoeelle93 3 года назад +9

    This one was hard to watch. Rhett is so competitive that he even has to “win” this discussion

    • @Crazee108
      @Crazee108 2 года назад

      He couldnt even hide his elation initially.