Saying your husband is not well educated and that’s why he doesn’t have reading as a hobby is grounds for divorce in my mind. Like, I don’t know anything about her except she thinks very little of her man.
Right? I read about 100 books a year, my fiancé reads about a book every other year for work. I can’t fathom why I should care at all. He has a million hobbies, many of which I share, he has no need to pick up another one just to appeal to snooty people - frankly, I wouldn’t want to be around people like that OP and her friends anyway, they sound judgmental as hell
@telercoi3234 same. Except my husband is still smarter than me even tho I'm the book reader. So the OP's comments sounds particularly outlandish to me.
@@lucaleone4331 lol same, my partner never finished college but he's got a way better paying job than I do after over 10 years in the IT field. I may have graduated with a bachelor's degree and I know more about animal science because of that but I defer to him in nearly every other field because he's literally read up on way more subjects than I have even though I'm the chronic reader of the family.
wild that the pirating lady would make that a class issue and also call libraries "old fashioned" as if libraries aren't a massive resource for underprivileged people
"He's not well educated so he's never had a reason to be well read" what a condescending and insulting thing to say about your partner. That fact that she thought this was a normal and casual thing to say baffles me, she and her friends laughing at it just makes me imagine a bunch of rich assholes thinking they are morally superior because of their education. Ugh.
You know what's even funnier to me about that one? Everyone thinks everyone was assigned To Kill a Mockingbird in school. But I never was! So when I read it, it was as a thirty-odd year old adult, because I wanted to read it. The fact the other person assumed that it was a school assignment instead of pleasure is just dumb. People can pick up classics and read them just for fun.
7:47 my husband is in the navy and he doesn’t like to read for fun and I would NEVER say he isn’t educated he just doesn’t ENJOY using his spare time to read books and that’s fine?? Jeez this lady is headed for a divorce if that’s how she views her husband 🤡
To the no female writers guy? Super red flag. I went to college and befriended those philosophy bros- they were the worst misogynists I’ve ever met. They used philosophy to explain how rational their man brains and how emotional and irrational women’s brains are. Yeah, misogyny is definitely why there aren’t more prominent female philosophers, but they exist- Aspasia of Miletus was such a great philosopher that Socrates called her HIS teacher and the reason he became so good at giving speeches. Hypatia was considered one of the last great thinkers of Alexandria and one of the first women to study and teach philosophy, astronomy, and math. Mary Wollstonecraft, the mother of SheEO herself Mary Shelley, is considered the founding mother of modern feminist philosophy and a massive women’s rights advocate. Akka Mahadevi was a poet/wander in India who spoke about alienation and confinement of traditional womanhood. Dr. Joyce Mitchell Cook was THE first Black woman in the US to receive a PhD in philosophy in 1965 and was considered a pioneer in American philosophy. That is just a small handful. Don’t ever let any of these piss babies tell you that “women weren’t really in ancient philosophy”. If they say that, they are lazy liars. Love the video, bestie. ❤
That is a fair perspective. From the story of OP it seemed that he just happened to have bring some books and didn’t put much thought into it. It would be good to read some books written by women and display them bc it’s important to know things from a woman’s perspective. Op is at least asking the question and seems to be more considerate than other people that you’ve mentioned
Yeah it makes me sad that the woman in the story couldn't talk to the men in a better manner. Maybe the man would have listened if she teducated him in female authors. Well, assuming the story went as he told. We only know his perspective but maybe she was just saying it in a joking manner but he didn't pick up on her tone, causing him to come off as mean all of a sudden, escalating the situation. Honestly, that's the vibe I got from the story because I am terrible at understanding irony too lol
@@denizkaragullu6239 I do agree. It probably would’ve been better if she had asked if he’d be interested in any women authors who talk abt those subjects. I can understand that potentially being a red flag for someone bc of the specific books he has. It is a bit wild to talk to someone you barely know who invited you over and say it’s a red flag. Like you said it’s possible her tone was different than he thought
I def get it but it just depends on how large his collection is. If he had like 15? Books total I prob wouldn’t have thought about it but if he had a larger collection and none of them were women…def red flag. Like even if you bought books 100% randomly, there’s no way you avoided women authors
The "OP needs some new friends" line is the most #truth statement I've ever heard. As an adult in her late 20's who also reads YA sometimes, I felt her complete and utter pain. Let people read whatever the hell they want! Jesus Christ!
I'm **well** out of the YA demographic but I've read some really good YA! Even have some all time faves. People write it off so easily. Almost seems "cool" to hate on it or diss it. I read a wide variety of genres so I enjoy having it in the mix... well besides Romance just because I have a cold dead black heart 😆
Imagine claiming to be the OP’s friends but criticizing and belittling her having healthy, wholesome coping mechanisms! How completely and utterly cringe
Exactly YA does hate some good and fun stories. YA books are kinda perfect books to read in the situation that OP’s in. She has a good husband bc he doesn’t care what she reads he just wants her to be happy. He’s willing to go to the library and get her the books
@@katierasburn9571 right! especially when most people don't read at all! if heard similar things from people who only read non-fiction and they look down on fiction readers "because you're not learning anything".. they obviously have no idea what they're talking about - I've learned a lot from fiction! I mean I read some non-fic too but there is a ton of value in fiction in general.
When you started reading the "telling your daughter to read less" one, I thought: wait, did my mom learn english, how to work a computer and has a reddit account that I don't know about...? This has been a topic of MANY conversations in my household. Not just by my mom, but also by my dad. Neither of them read. Nowadays I just respond with a "sure sure babes, whatever you say".
My mom used to be like that before I went on full on "I only read in English & it's really helping me learn new words and how grammar works" spiel. I'm still technically banend from buying books but hey she can't stop me :P
@@misamisaa4547 I wish I could say that but I have a goddamn diploma of fluency in english (my first language is brazilian portuguese). Maybe I'll have to start buying books in japanese and korean! Hahahaha But I'm an adult now, so I should stop caring about what she thinks. Teen brain is still on even though I'm 28.
The thing is for me, I sometimes hyperfixate on certaing hobbies as an escape mechanism. "If I am sewing or solving puzzles for hours on end instead of playing video games or watching anime, it is not a problem that I am avoiding my responsibilities" is the mentality I have subconsciously sometimes. Wish the mother told us if she was neglecting her school work or not, because that's the most important part of the story imo
The audacity of some people 😂. You don’t even have to have ptsd to read YA. I read it all the time because my poor brain can’t process super-complicated fantasy plotlines after a 10 hour shift.
@@kaijuhunting I can almost guarantee that the characters are aged up, dramione is a really popular ship that fanfic authors basically just use to write their own romance stories. Now I personally am not a fan of harry potter, but I say fucking with canon is the best way to treat that trash author's books
I admit, I pirate a lot of books. Most of them either aren't available in the local library or only exist in a language I don't understand that I read via fan translations. There's also a factor of not being able to afford to drop 20+€ on a book that I drop before even getting to halfway point. That being said, if I really like the book I pirated, I'll most likely buy a physical copy (+ the rest of the stuff the author wrote)
Yea, I think the difference is whether a person pirates somethibg because there's no other way for them to get to it or simply because they don't feel like paying or going to the library despite being able to. That person from the post literally said she COULD buy them, she just doesn't want to, and that's the problem here (it also makes the way she acts afterwards all the more hypocritical)
Agreed. There's a big difference between refusing to obtain the book through a free resource like a library and being unable to obtain it any other way. That girl's attitude from the post grinds my gears.
I also think there's a substantial difference between pirating films, tv etc and pirating books. In an age where buying a copy of something doesn't mean owning that copy, and having to basically continually re-pay for access to stuff when streaming corporations don't use that money to fairly pay their creators and crew, yeah that's one thing. But even with the growing popularity of ebooks and audio books, the physical copies aren't going anywhere and the authors get closer to fair pay for their work (to my understanding). No point in screwing them over needlessly. Now, hellishly overpriced college textbooks, yeah screw that lol.
Book Story: About 15 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship. My "boyfriend" had no regard for books or reading, but didn't really care what I did. He was also an alcoholic and would get mean drunk. At the time, it was the recession and we were all super poor, so I was utilizing the library a lot. One night, I was at work and he was home. He got mean drunk and literally destroyed $300 worth of library books, plus a bunch of my own books. I mean, he tore them apart, like shredded them. I had to go explain to the librarian how this douche canoe had gotten drunk and destroyed $300 worth of library materials. To the library's credit, they never sent me a bill, and that relationship ended very soon after that incident. There was a lot more mourning done for the destroyed books than there was for the end of that relationship. I think I'm still mourning those books, since (to me) destroying a book is about the worst thing you can do.
To Kill a Mockingbird is a great book and contains great social values. I’ve read many books after high school that I wouldn’t list above TKAM if someone asked for my favorites. Really shows the pretentiousness of the group that they think a book isn’t as good just because it’s an easier read and accessible to younger people.
Just got to the YA post…i had the same experience with YA novels where I enjoyed them well into my 20s, but lately get annoyed at the characters because I can no longer relate to them. But just because something is considered “adult” doesn’t automatically make it more mature or “better” than YA. There are plenty of books immature with immature themes/plots/characters in the adult section too…and a lot of times they’re less fun on top of that.
my husband went to the same school as the sailor in that story. that school is no joke! i don't see how you can live with someone who goes through that schooling and deem them, "uneducated." also, so many people join the military in order to attend college on the GI Bill! Girl is beyond ignorant.
OMG! I remember reading in real time the one about the woman putting down her husband in the Navy. The absolute rage I felt reading that and I felt so bad for her husband. That woman is an elitist, classist piece of garbage and I never wanted to fight someone more.
I feel like the girlie with the reading partner needs to ask him to explain some of the things hes reading about to her so they can have conversations about it without her feeling dumb or left out
Good idea! Tbh I do feel like two hours every night is a fair bit. I mean assuming they both have full time jobs and just general responsibilities that wouldn’t leave much time for them to spend together
I know this is touchy and subject to lots of different factors that we’re obviously not privy to but I’ve personally had my mom read my diary when I was a teen and OFC I was so upset like fully enraged but now as an adult and honestly not That long after it happened I understood that she was just worried about me and didn’t mean harm by it, she had a lapse in judgement, parents make mistakes. As long as OP genuinely apologizes to his daughter, doesn’t hold anything over her head and gives her time and space I think the trust btwn them could definitely be repaired. Saying that he’s done irreparable damage is kind of wild lol but I guess we all view things differently!
I think so too. Her view is such a western view lol. Obviously, reading your kid's diary is bad. But I understand his concerns. I definitely went through some horrible stuff that I didn't tell my parents about. It makes sense that he was concerned about her
My grandma used to reach a good 100+ of those common paperback romance books you can find at any store. Especially after retirement. When she was up until 3 some nights reading, my grandpa never got upset. He just started sleeping in another room so she could relax in her bed with the built in wall light she could adjust. It never interfered with her daily life. I don't get what that mom on the daughter reading too much is about, especially if it's something she genuinely enjoys and brings her stress relief in life, because everyone needs some kind of coping mechanism. And I think reading is definitely one of the healthier coping mechanisms someone could have.
I think the woman pirating books is an asshole because her attitude is 'I can pay but don't want to.' I'm fine with people pirating when they can't afford something or don't have access, but if you're lucky enough to be in the position where buying a book won't break the bank, support the author! And support your local library!
Okay I just had to comment on the navy nuclear power post. As someone who was a nuke in the navy and is now in college , the training is just as hard if not harder than college .
the single father thing i think is. very complicated. it seems like it was just a very poor choice. but theres also the fact that if she wasnt telling him things to begin with, even if asked about it (which we dont know if thats the situation or not), then its… a slippery topic. honestly if theyve had an overall good relationship then i dont actually think that this issue is gonna cause _irreparable_ damage. i experienced some pretty big invasions of privacy as an 11-13 year old from my parents but have since become way more traumatized by the things i had been doing in hiding than them desperately trying to get me outta danger and making bad decisions. ive talked to them since then. they agree they handled it poorly. now i advocate for handling said situations better for other folks dealing with kids who get into nasty subjects. im 19 now and still very close to my parents. being a parent means making mistakes, imo. i hope his daughter can get outta that depressive rut, and i hope he takes the experience to heart and tries to communicate better in the future. now the piracy one is just funny. “i can afford it i just choose not to” “THIS IS AN ISSUE WITH BOOK CLUBS BEING CLASSIST!!!” honey youre just lazy. i pirate stuff when its far too expensive or not legally available anymore (think old software, adobe products, horribly overpriced comics that arent being made anymore, etc.), not books by random independent authors wtf. girl get real lmao. OH MY GOD THE NOT WELL READ ONE. holy fucking shit. this man works on nuclear reactors. HE MENTIONS THAT HE READS A BUNCH OF MANUALS AND CLEARLY UNDERSTANDS THEM. That sounds pretty decently educated to me! like, probably more educated than myself and i graduated in multiple AP classes in highschool!!! give the dude some respect oh my god. Oh sweet jesus the ‘read less’ one is infuriating. like on one hand if the girl werent doing her work then maybe thats an issue (used to know a kid who would read so late into the night that shed have issues staying awake in school, thats a legit trouble), but oh my god? calling it a waste of time???? SAYING PLAYING A SPORT IS A BETTER WAY TO SPEND TIME????? HELLO??? Sports are neat but you cant really get anywhere with that. with reading you learn to analyze and understand the literature, its good for the brain, it helps with mental health if she really loves that. come ON. the one after that honestly op should try to read some of the books her partner does. then they could talk abt them together, could learn from eachother, etc. just sounds like shes really insecure and has gotta communicate better
@@sarawithoutanH This is not necessarily me DEFENDING this, but rather a perspective to offer. If his preferred genre happens to be old-timey historical writing/poetry, I think it's super difficult to find works by women from those time periods because they were not allowed to write, and even the rare exceptions often didn't get published or got lost in history. I do think it's a little weird for that to be someone's ONLY preferred genre, but idk some people just have very specific preferences. He should probably branch out, but I don't think it automatically means that he's intentionally disregarding works by women. Def not trying to argue at all, and I do think it's valid for someone to walk in and think it's weird (it would be a bit of a red flag for me).
It seems like he’s interested in philosophy and existentialist literature, and as someone with an interest in those areas, it’s pretty difficult to find existentialist fiction by female authors, and I’m actively looking for it. If you ask people for recs on those subjects, 9 times out of 10 they’ll recommend a book by a male author. I think this might be an area where there’s more of a problem with the field than individual consumers.
@@kayleighjoy3230that’s unfortunately the case a lot of the time. But if he truly cares about existentialism, ignoring Simone de Beauvoir and Sarah Bakewell would be deeply ignorant on his part. Not necessarily a philosopher, but Anaïs Nin as well for existentialism lit.
you asked for a story, so i deliver A literature teacher yelling at a student for reading so when I was in highschool, we had a class where our teacher did not come and another teacher took over for her. This other teacher gave us an exercise to do, since we had nothing else. I finished my work and was pretty content with it, so I pulled out my book and started reading A gathering of Shadows by VE Schwab. My classmates were done too, some completely ignored the task. They were chatting not entirely quietly or were doing something on their phones. Yet this teacher looks at me and asks me to show him whatever I have in my lap. So I put the book on my desk. He flipped out. He raged and yelled at me, how dare i disrespect him and not do what i was supposed to do, how dare I read and all this, ranting at me in italian for like solid 5 mins. Then he asked me to leave the classroom. Mind you, I finished the task, which took like 15 mins to do. What was i supposed to do the other 30? Also why am i getting yelled at when everyone else is being much more rude? I felt like crying and I was frozen in place. Thankfully the bell rang and he left. The next day he came and apologized to me for over-reacting but still insisted that I should not have been reading. It was so weird. I just nodded and did not poke it, but I could never forget it. Weirdest of all, next year he gifted me an Agata Christie book since I liked reading... 5 years later i still do not know what to make of this ordeal
The one with the Navy Nuke guy, I see two red flags with the wife, 1. Bruh he deals with nukes, the man may not have college degrees but he is definitely smart, don’t put down your husband like that. 2. Why would you text your sister about the fight? I get many people like sharing stuff with their friends and family, but putting down your spouse or kids or complaining about them is not it, when things escalate one day and when your sister throws shade on your husband you’d get it. Sometimes, you needn’t be telling everything to everyone about your relationship unless it’s abusive.
I find it so funny how people from older generations complain about young people not reading enough, and this lady is concerned that her daughter is reading "too much"? Sounds like the opposite of a problem 😂
I am still worried about the fanfic one, I hope this doesn't mean that OP's wife can't read fanfic by herself now and she HAS to read it together with OP.
When I went through a bad depression I read more children's classics and ya books too. They don't have a lot of triggers and are easier to read. If it's not hurting anyone and it helps why would a friend be so shitty about something so trivial. Absolute insanity. Sounds like they should grow up.
@@katierasburn9571 I truly don't think it does. I can see an issue with not reading any books written by women, likely due to him as a male having unconscious bias towards his own gender which leads to not exposing himself to other perspectives, but reading classic books is not pretentious by default. From the books listed, it sounds like he probably has an interest in moral debates and philosophy, which is not in itself pretentious, I would just encourage him to read books with similar themes by female authors. The pushback towards people reading classic literature as being 'pretentious' feels very reductive. And although all those authors listed were male, they were not all white.
don't necessarily disagree (case by case ig) but fun fact re. Mishima- he's a Japanese author who died in '70, and just so happened to be an ardent nationalist/royalist during Japan's imperial era (which he was born abt midway through) who was desperately disappointed not to have been able to join a military occupation force in the Philippines. He continued to emphasize the importance of the emperor in Japanese life/identity, though not without contempt in some terms (i.e. his renunciation of his own "divinity" post-war; make of that what you will), and generally had an explicit political life (including a healthy dose of anti-Americanism). He carried out seppuku in the culmination of a "failed" (debatable in terms of actual intent, but this is too long already) "coup" (also debatable) attempt to restore the emperor whle occupying a Japanese military police base. So maybe that just folds in further red flags lol... I've read one of his books on a whim from the library and it was a pretty good time/thematically interesting (esp knowing his history), but also so improbable/inconsistent in terms of plot details that it bothered me at times. I would also understand if someone wanted to his canon out of curiosity etc, but in context of OP's story it doesn't seem like that's the appeal. Sorry for the infodump, hope it was interesting to read!
That last one makes my blood BOIL. I'm 41, and I still love picking up a good YA novel. And someone I've recently gotten really close to has been in something of a reading slump because of things going on in his life, so books for "our age" aren't holding his attention. I recommended a YA/NA book that is one of my favorites, and he's flying through it. Started it yesterday and he's over a hundred pages in. And I showed him a middle grade one I have that I loved (when I read it as a 27 year old,) and it sounded really interesting to him, so I bought him a copy. Now I just need to wait for it to get here so I can give it to him.
this was so entertaining!! i’ve never seen a video like this but i’m so here for the drama. i bet it’s hard to find AITA stories that are this specific but please please if there’s new material, make another video for the series!! 😄
🍒 Why do people even care what other people read? Why not read YA if it's fun for the reader? I don't get why everyone is so invested in what other people do. Feels like insecurity. Thanks for this video! It was fun!
🍒 AITA experiences are always insane to me because I’m like there are real people like this ….. on both sides! Whether they are the asshole or not, SOMEONE in the story is usually a person I can’t believe is real
As someone who got into a car accident late last year and is going through mental healing I still struggle to read/perform hobbies at times so I think it’s great that OP was able to find a comfort genre to get her through these tough times. If it works for her and isn’t hurting anyone, why stop her?
Lord, I cannot believe some of these people really exist. First guy: NAH but his choice of books is… something. Those feel like coffee table books or books you display to look good, not childhood favourites. I mean, you can appreciate Ovid’s work but I can’t imagine someone using the little spare time they have during their studies to read Ovid. Navy husband story: Hate faux-intellectuals like this. Reading books does not an intelligent person make (I’m a prime example 😂) I can’t imagine calling your partner uneducated, especially in front of friends. Not to mention the guy works on nuclear subs ffs! His technical knowledge must be far more difficult to grasp than whatever book Steve finds impressive. OP likes YA books: you don’t need a reason to justify your preference for YA. But the fact that OP’s “friends” think she’s overreacting for wanting lighter reads after a traumatic experience makes them insensitive a**holes for sure. The audacity to dictate what she reads in her own time…
Ahh so much to unpack lol. The first few were quite cut and dry and I agree with you. As someone who had to quit the nuclear power track because it was a really damn intense program and totally relying on my academic weaknesses, that guy was not "poorly educated". Yes I do think having some rounded out elements of education is good obviously, but I do not begrudge someone in that job who doesn't want to spend extra energy on it. The erotica supplementing naughty times with spouse is fine imo, when it happens instead of it I'd ask questions (I'm also wondering about the p*rn being exploitative/unsafe.) I've read YA well into my adult years because it's often YA fantasy / scifi covers and concepts that draw my attention when I browse. Yeah that last person needs new friends.
When I was small, more than once my mom grounded me for reading too much. It really broke my heart. And now, when I mention this, she laughs, and treats like a funny story.
To be fair i have never looked at the authors name on a book unless i really enjoyed the book and want to read more from that author, like Merradith Russo
🍒 Oh! I think I have one! AITA for Asking my Boyfriend to Read my Manuscripts/Book Drafts I'm a writer (not published yet, but hopefully someday 🤞) and a reader. It's such a big part of my life that I was super happy to find out my boyfriend liked to read too. We don't generally like to read the same genres though. I read a lot of horror, mysteries, paranormal fantasy, and true crime (with other genres sprinkled in for flavor) and he likes high fantasy, epic fantasy, and sometimes some philosophical nonfiction. We've tried to read each other's favorite books and that did not go well at all. Mine were too dramatic and his were not character driven enough to keep my interest. We eventually tried to find some books that we might mutually like, and while we had one or two successes, it was hard and it usually ended up with someone trying to hide their hurt feelings about not being able to accurately grasp what the other might really enjoy. So we stopped and we don't share books anymore, but I've been a writer this whole time (We've been together 7 years). He has always refused to read my work because he's scared of offending me and for a long time, I tried to make peace with that. I don't NEED him to tell me he likes my work in order to keep writing or find success, but I would like his support. I basically blocked off that side of me for years... and it did/does eat at me that he doesn't even want to try to look at my greatest passion in life. Writing takes up so much of my time and brain-space that it feels like I am holding back 50% of myself from the relationship because he just doesn't want or like it. We had some relationship issues earlier this year and while we've been trying to figure out how to move forward, if we even want to at all, I have brought up that his lack of interest in my writing has been hard for me. I don't even need him to like it, tbh. I just need him to see it and show me support. He told me again that he is scared of hurting my feelings. We had a long talk and he eventually agreed to read something of mine. I haven't sent him anything though because now I am worried I am coercing something from him that he doesn't want to freely give just because I feel like he doesn't accept all of me or doesn't want to acknowledge my ✨️art✨️. AITA? What should I do? 😅
Wanting to share your passion for writing with your partner is both natural and also brave, because it can be scary and vulnerable to show your work, especially for the first time. It should be something a partner would take as a gesture of trust and an opportunity to offer support and reassurance. I’m not crazy about the signals he’s giving when he preemptively refused to read your stuff because he’s “afraid to hurt your feelings “. That sounds like he already has a low opinion of your ability as well as your taste. It also implies he’s got no inclination to provide constructive feedback, that no amount of thoughtful critique or collaboration would be worth the effort. I might be reading too much in to it, but that’s the impression I get from what you’ve posted. Maybe he will be pleasantly surprised once he does read some of your work, and his reluctance is just based on some feelings of awkwardness or anxiety that can be dispelled in the process. One suggestion I might offer is to find an outside reader first, who is willing to edit a (small) draft for you and provide a good critique. Someone you aren’t quite so tangled up with, in terms of a relationship. If you haven’t done that yet anyway, it certainly has the potential to improve your writing, and the secondary benefit would be that you can show your boyfriend an edited draft instead of a raw passage, as a first sample of what you like to write. Online sites like Nanowrimo often have forums where you can pair up new writers willing to edit and review one another’s work, and can help you find groups in the same genre to bounce ideas and problems off of. Putting your reluctant boyfriend into the role of your first beta reader might not be the best way to engage him in your passion. It would be different if he was enthusiastic and supportive from the start. If you do share a piece of your writing with your boyfriend first, try to curate carefully, and try to be clear up front what you’re hoping to get from him. Do you want a critique? An editorial eye for fixing spelling, syntax and grammar? General reassurance, support, and a genuine compliment, as in “what was your favorite part?” If you present it with a particular request, that might help guide his response. Hopefully his fears will be unfounded. I hope it helps you bridge the wall between the parts of your life that you are keeping separate within an important relationship. Keep writing and pursuing your passion!
I dated a Navy Nuke instructor and am in the military myself AND college educated and I certainly could not understand half of the sentences in their manuals. That guy may not be well read in the book world but that man has some KNOWLEDGE. Either way, calling him out in public is big asshole vibes.
I’m in my 30s and haven’t been able to finish one chapter of a book since my early 20s. I was in college and felt forced to switch to adult books (especially classics) and reading them in their original language (English is not my first language). I’ve also been struggling with mental health and adhd. So yeah my enjoyment of reading was ruined. Until recently when I decided to try reading a book from my childhood, Beach House by R.L. Stine (I was obsessed with the Point Horror series) and I read it in french. First time in almost 10 years that I finished a book. I felt really proud of myself. If I had friends like in that last story, I can’t imagine what it would have done to my mental health.
Here's my bookish IATA: I am a big library user since my local library (LAPL) is one of the biggest systems in the US and has basically every title I could want. I almost exclusively read ebooks on my tablet that I access via the Libby app, so I have basically no need to purchase physical books. HOWEVER, I also enjoy browsing bookstores to find titles, with no intention of buying them. I can spend hours doing this, where I search the shelves, find titles that intrigue me, and then search them on Libby to see if I can borrow/put a hold on the book. Am I the asshole for doing this? I don't feel as guilty if it's someplace like Barnes and Noble or Target, but I definitely do this at smaller bookstores as well. Buying the amount of books that I read would be ill-advised on my part since books are so $ and I make less than $30k a year, but should I be buying at least a few physical copies here and there to show my support to the book community? Sorry if this was rambly lol. Love your videos!!
Personally, i feel like this is the best way to consume books as a low income person. Bc then when you see that it's good, and something you'd want to read over and over again, you can buy it. The online book community honestly has an overconsumption problem. Alot of libraries in LA have bookstores now that sell donated books for like 1-8 bucks.
Lol no, libraries are there for free books but they’re terrible at being able to find things you want, so thats a great idea. Owning lots of books is an issue not only with money but also space!! You can always choose to buy your favourites after, thats what i usually do so then i have them forever
My partner has like three books and is not a big reader. His books are from childhood, all by male authors. That is no red flag to me. He is much more of a gamer and follow both male and female and trans gamers/streamers. So maybe look at more than just a guys bookshelf before judging? As someone with a mom that read my diary - and used the content to manipulate me - that is def wrong. I didn't find out she used to read it until I was an adult and I felt violated and that she crossed SO many boundaries, with reading the journal being the first one. A bit out of context for this video but my mom used to use her knowledge to gaslight me and to seem like she always knew everything. So she never quoted my diary but she just "seemed to know" everything and I remember asking how she knew some stuff and she just said she was intuitive or that a friend of mine or a sibling told her. She used the info to plant seeds of mistrust between me and other people to make me trust no one but her. And no, we no longer speak. For the mom of the adult child (living on her own!) who reads a lot: If she seems to read everytime you are around her, maybe you need to focus on your relationship with your daughter and not her relationship with books. Also, if she says that reading is the only hobby she has time for now then she is probably spending a lot of her time STUDYING when not WORKING. What someone chooses to read, especially when working to get her joy for reading back, is totally up to her. And there are a lot of adults that like middlegrade and YA books, why she shaming from OP's friends? Ridiculous. Thank you for letting me as a follower bring out my bitchy side with you. I am rarely this judgy. 😂🍒
🍒 The guy who doesn't read books by women, it might be a choice. While it is rare, there are women who have written philosophy books. He should perhaps reflect on why that is. So, not exactly an asshole, unless his reason for not reading books by women is potentialal sexist.
My partner doesn't own any books by female authors, but on the other hand he also doesn't own any "self-made millionaire sigma" books. Meanwhile I have an entire shelf dedicated to Nietzsche and Machiavelli. So in this case I am a red flag😂
First, I’d like to say that I am 63 and still read young adults romances. They often have a good stories with minimal six which I prefer. Sometimes the people are a little young, but I can overlook that for the other aspects of the book. Second, I’ve gone through depression myself over the past 20 years, and slowly have lost my friends due to various issues. I wouldn’t be so quick to tell someone to throw her friends away because it’s not that easy to find new ones, frankly. . Sometimes talking with a friend and explaining yourself could help both of you. Just my 2¢!
For the first one: the girl is definitely the AH. Firstly, for being judgmental & secondly for being weirdly sexually aggressive?? If the guy read Dostoevsky and Mishima, he probably has read or is planning to read Iris Murdoch's work. I find it so weird when people judge other's reading or favourite genres, but then will flip a table when someone do the same to their favourite books/authors/genre's. Let people read & don't assume the worst in people. (The only people I will side eye are those that use the books/ reading experience for bad, like that tiktok people that sexually h*rassed a CHILD 😒)
The story where the book club got mad about the book piracy is certainly not cut and dry- it's definitely and ESH situation. Kicking someone out for pirating books is actually the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but the scope of the persons reaction after they were kicked out is also bad.
@@alemonyoyo69420 wasn't just the reaction though, like other commenter said- she was behaving that way beforehand as well. I'm a library worker and wouldn't rlly bat an eye if someone felt that way abt libraries tbh, though I'd be curious as to why/how they'd formed that opinion, certainly wouldn't want them excluded from a book space for it- but she was just straight-up being unkind to other members over them taking an interest in her reading habits which is literally what the space is for. While I get her being pissed that they never had a rule abt pirating before, and I think setting one formally would be classist regardless of any disclaimers/exceptions they could try to bake in, she's also clearly inconsistent (saying it's not abt income, which ig could be untrue but still inconsistency, and later weaponizing classism to justify her behaviour). I also do think it's objectively shitty to pirate books from smaller authors, most of whom have at least one day job if not multiple, if you can access libraries and choose not to, but idk which authors she reads or if she can rlly access libraries in context etc.
I don't think the mom who thinks her daughter "reads too much" is necessarily an AH. I think she's worried that her daughter is using fiction for escapism and that's consuming her life, which can definitely happen. Reading is good, but too much of a good thing can be bad so I don't necessarily think she's the AH.
Yeah I agree. I didn't enjoy this video too much because clearly Sara is a hardcore reader and super biased. If you get to make a living out of it, great, but like you said, reading can be pathological escapism. It can take a toll on your relationships if you refuse to compromise on reading time vs time together like the reading in the evenings OP and it's also not better or worse than porn if we're talking about erotica and its contents. But this is all coming from someone who is a medium dedicated reader who doesn't think of books being part of their identity.
@@Shirumoon I feel like the mom's tone/approach is just denigrating the habit/doesn't seem to come from genuine concern (though ig that's hard to assess at a distance). She suggests she would prefer the daughter to take up another hobby, like a sport, which isn't inherently more productive- both are technically based on the phased completion of specific "events" (a game/session or a book) which have basically arbitrary time limits and aren't strictly necessary. Both could theoretically contribute to a career and/or income, and as a college age student who clearly hasn't been heavily involved with sport if at all, reading is actually more likely to do so for her. The career window would be closed in sport at that age and there are few "casual" income opportunities for it, unlike, for instance, content creating on a book-based platform. Either way, I do think she should be allowed to enjoy it and mom should maybe try asking why she likes it/what she gets from it rather than jumping to shut it down, but I do get your point so this is all besides.
I'm 26 and only in the past few years have I noticed that I'm starting to lean more and more towards adult and away from YA. But there's still YA books I read and enjoy. When I was younger, my mother would sometimes borrow YA books I had and enjoy them too. YA isn't always juvenile at all and even if it is, maybe that's something you enjoy. I hate people being judgmental about reading tastes.
🍒 I had a bit of an AITA instance with someone about reading. I (28 F) read very nearly exclusively fiction books. Not even because I don't like nonfiction, I just enjoy my fantastical stories. I tend to gravitate towards fantasy and horror predominantly, but I also read manga and graphic novels, which can vary between genres greatly. I read a great range of books, from classic to just released, from all different kinds of backgrounds and perspectives. It's just all fiction. My mom meanwhile reads exclusively nonfiction, predominantly about historical figures related to the area we live in or about cities in our state, since it's a very historically significant area. We both talk to each other about what we read, and while we both have tried to get the other to read what we personally enjoy, we also don't mind just having talks about it. But I have a family member who keeps telling me that I'm behaving like a child by only reading fiction books, and that adults need to read nonfiction. It's all I read and that's embarassing. It's been frustrating, because, again, I don't have a problem with nonfiction. It's just not what I want to read generally. But I also know that it's generally suggested that you have a mixed range of reading material, not just with genre and authors, but fiction and nonfiction. I feel like I should be free to read whatever I like, but I can concede that I should want to read more. It's just disheartening to hear this family member constantly making these comments whenever I buy a new book or start a new one, and it inevitably will lead to this conversation all over again, and I have to justify why I'm reading it.
I want to push back on the first one about the books listed being pretentious or those authors being pretentious. After reading the full post and full list I'd say he's probably using them to signal that but I don't believe them to be inherently pretentious. Especially given that they're pretty accessible. Dostoyevsky most of all. But also he also listed the Game of Thrones series. The bigger red flag is Robert Greene and a couple of books by a fascist.
Ive been a librarian for 10+ years. I know what men like to read. I know what teenage boys like to read. I know what little boys like to read. And from my professional opinion… oop is full of shit. Unless the dude is an English major, no freakin way is he taking all those classics with him for no other reason than to show off. Im pretty damn sure the story of a fEmAle getting angry over his lack of women authors is fictional.
The only case where the guy who doesn't read books written by women wouldn't be a red flag is if he just hadn't thought about it and happened to only have men authors. I have a lot of books that I don't know/ think about who the author is, but I do think given the kinds of books and authors he reads it is odd that not one is written by a woman. The whole situation is a bit bizarre but how things were told he was not an ah and the friend was acting super aggressive and weird, but I also wouldn't put it past the op to be unreliable narrator.
With the girl who is “reading too much” I think it’s fine as long as she’s passing her classes. I can understand the concern abt her spending more time on fun reading than reading for her classes. Then OP suggests sports which is something that would also take away her time for reading for class. Probably even more than her fun reading. It’s possible that some of the assignments she has for school don’t require reading depending on her certain classes. Maybe she focuses on reading for class while she’s at school. She’s doing both school and work so she deserves a little downtime of fun reading
After just having watched a video that was about the Barbie movie and the way it shows patriarchy I feel like the first post was just a woman making a silly joke like I'm sure she didn't actually think he was a sexists for the books in his room. Instead of taking it personally he could have just said "haha wait you're right I didn't even notice that yeah I probably wouldn't either to be fair lmao". - I mean it's one thing if she obviously was being rude about it but other than that I think how a man reacts to these comments says more than the observation itself.
15:23 They aren't different if you start to think about feelings of their partner and not about the ethics of porn industry. Someone watching a porn, getting turned on and masturbating is the same as someone reading smutt, getting turned on and masturbating. The media is different but design is the same. People say that it's valid to be sad that your partner's watching porn. But if your partner's reading it, you can't be sad because "it's just a book, it's not real". I find it deeply hypocritical. We're not talking about about book porn addiction being as bad as usual porn. The discussion is that it can effect people you're in relationship with the same way. And its valid.
First dude: NTA. No, not really. He isn't avoiding them, he just doesn't care. The topics are old philosophy and old poems, which is mostly written by dudes. Second dude: Undecided. You not only broke her trust in you, that coping mechanism has completely lost it's sucurity. You should have just kept your mouth shut if she wasn't suicidal or injuring herself. If she was, then yeah, that's in need of intervention. Third story: YTA. That's a crappy thing to say. Why would that be a good thing to say? Can she do the job he does? Cause it sounds like they are just good at different things. Fourth story: It's none of her business, and it isn't time throwing away. If she can keep her grades up, then it's fine. But she is an adult, and she needs to butt out. Fifth story: that's awesome that he takes time to himself. She does not need to have his attention 100% of the time. She needs to let him be. Sixth story: Yeah, that's weird. They're teenagers. If they were adults, yeah, wouldn't matter. But most fanfics are when they are in highschool. But that's beside the point. Good that they opened up to each other, NAH. Seventh story: That is crap. She can read whatever she wants. Her freinds need to mind there business. Are they aware of some of the books sorted into the YA section nowwadays? Cause they are way more mature then people think they are. Some of them are erotica, some of them have themes of domestic violence or abuse, the books OP is reading are probably not like that, but that women shouldn't dismiss the section as a whole.
With the book club lady, she had an AH attitude but I get the whole not buying books, especially for a book club, bc what if you don't like the book? what if you hate the author or the book itself? I wouldn't want to spend my money on that! But not wanting to borrow it from a library bc it's "old fashioned"? even when (i guess) you live in the us where now the libraries even have digital copies to borrow and are really accessible?? Yeah, she was dumb and totally the AH
Military education and college education aren’t the same thing bc military education is likely harder to learn than most most stuff you would learn at with a typical college education
The pirate girl is too smug about it and disconnected from reality to think its ok just because she can. I live in Russia, and our government is very into censorship these days, and lots of books are unavailable. And demand is high, so its very easy to pirate stuff. But I still purchase books, sometimes through foreign friends. If you have access and can afford it - no excuse.
I have and love a ton of those books the no women guy has too....and Angelou and Austen and the Bronte's and Butler and Chopin and Christie and Dickinson and du Maurier and Eliot and Gaskell and Hinton and Kaysen and Lee and Le Guin and Morrison and Plath and Shelley and Tartt and Wharton and not to mention the legendary female comic and manga writers out there. Loving classics DOES NOT MEAN AND HAS NEVER MEANT excluding women. You have to be *trying* to, really. I agree the girl was harsh, but if it had been me I'd dig deep with that guy.
To the female writer guy........ My favorite books are Proust's. Favorite books shouldn't depend on the gender of the writer. But with that said. Especially in classics, female representation is very lacking. I love the classics but then I have to ask myself about the women in the story, so then I go and read some books on feminism. If he's reading those kinds of books I'm gonna guess he's either a pretentious a-hole or that he genuinely enjoys reading and expanding his mind through it, in which case the lack of female representation is... Concerning. The girl was pretty rude about it but I don't feel he would be my favorite person either
With the last story if the friend thinks it’s just a book. Then she shouldn’t be that mad abt OP reading YA books. The friend needs to stop being childish and let OP read the books she wants to
The lady who didn't want her daughter reading so much sounds kinda silly imo. Seriously, she should be glad her daughter picked up a hobby that doesn't require expensive sports equipment or getting up at the butt crack of dawn to drive here and there for tournaments or games or shows. And so what if it is fiction? It's called escapism because, frankly, reality sucks a lot of the time. I mostly read fiction. And although I never dropped out of university, it definitely killed my desire and love of reading for fun. It is only late last year that I started reading again, and even now, it doesn't hold the same type of wonder or fun it did when I was a kid/teen. That lady just needs to let people enjoy what they enjoy and stop raining on her daughter's parade. Sorry, I just get kinda pissy if someone was to criticize me for a hobby I have--"It's my hobby and my spare time, so I can do as I please. There is no you anywhere in that sentence, so screw off."
Considering the fact that fanfiction is about 2 minor characters, I wouldn't say its all that better than irl p0rn. Especially with all those tags and how alot of fanfiction tends to have dubious consent at best.
@katierasburn9571 I'm an avid a03 reader i know how their system works. I just think its not unreasonable to question why someone would read that about minor character.
@@larynadams1127 yeah I feel like that's being skipped over, maybe bc ppl are so used to it online, esp with these older, extremely popular series where most of the fanbase is now in their early-mid/mid adulthood (there are also new child fans ofc, idk abt the exact demographic breakdown, but I feel like there are at least less than there were after initial publication and the early 2000s, though maybe as many or more over time, blah blah mostly irrelevant). But I do find it odd? The characters could be aged up (I do somewhat get adults who grew up with a series now wanting to explore various adult aspects of the characters' lives and think its fine as long as they keep it away from child fans), and either way they are just imagined bodies which can be pictured as "adult" as a reader wants (i.e. someone could read smut of adult characters and picture them as teenagers, for instance), but it does still rub me the wrong way a bit when there is so much erotica of adult characters from fictional canons and just purpose-built freely accessible online. Like it wouldn't freak me out but I would be asking less why they want to read abt Draco's dick and more why the dick they read abt has to be Draco, the fictional child fascist's?
That is such a bizarre take on YA. Who cares what she's reading, if she's enjoying the books? It's not like she was getting Mein Kampf or some sh--. As long as it isn't harmful or offensive stuff, mind your own business on people's taste.
Of course that one University student had all books written by men.. they were a bunch of a Classics.. I mean outside of George Eliot and Mary Shelley I can't really think of other prominent women Classic authors.. okay maybe Shirley Jackson but that's more recent.
@@katierasburn9571 oh yea.. I have some Bronte and Wolff lol. but I can see why a man might not gravitate towards things that have more Romance or emotions in it. If one is learning Philosophy and other metaphysical stuff in class, that has been typically written by men. I've never broken down my books by the author's gender.. but taking a quick scan now I'd say I have a pretty good mix, and in all genres (just no Romance for me). I couldn't imagine have only men authors or only women authors! but I'm also not reading for a particular subject in school. I wonder where that person was attending...
Saying your husband is not well educated and that’s why he doesn’t have reading as a hobby is grounds for divorce in my mind. Like, I don’t know anything about her except she thinks very little of her man.
Right? I read about 100 books a year, my fiancé reads about a book every other year for work. I can’t fathom why I should care at all. He has a million hobbies, many of which I share, he has no need to pick up another one just to appeal to snooty people - frankly, I wouldn’t want to be around people like that OP and her friends anyway, they sound judgmental as hell
@telercoi3234 same. Except my husband is still smarter than me even tho I'm the book reader. So the OP's comments sounds particularly outlandish to me.
that is so freakin rude
@@lucaleone4331 lol same, my partner never finished college but he's got a way better paying job than I do after over 10 years in the IT field. I may have graduated with a bachelor's degree and I know more about animal science because of that but I defer to him in nearly every other field because he's literally read up on way more subjects than I have even though I'm the chronic reader of the family.
wild that the pirating lady would make that a class issue and also call libraries "old fashioned" as if libraries aren't a massive resource for underprivileged people
"He's not well educated so he's never had a reason to be well read" what a condescending and insulting thing to say about your partner. That fact that she thought this was a normal and casual thing to say baffles me, she and her friends laughing at it just makes me imagine a bunch of rich assholes thinking they are morally superior because of their education. Ugh.
You know what's even funnier to me about that one? Everyone thinks everyone was assigned To Kill a Mockingbird in school. But I never was! So when I read it, it was as a thirty-odd year old adult, because I wanted to read it.
The fact the other person assumed that it was a school assignment instead of pleasure is just dumb. People can pick up classics and read them just for fun.
7:47 my husband is in the navy and he doesn’t like to read for fun and I would NEVER say he isn’t educated he just doesn’t ENJOY using his spare time to read books and that’s fine?? Jeez this lady is headed for a divorce if that’s how she views her husband 🤡
Yeah man i dont like watching tv , dunno why i just dont enjoy it. This man is the book version of me
and to emasculate him like that in front of people too omg! lady needs to take some intersexual dynamics courses lol
@@the_eerie_faerie_tales like even *if* I thought my husband was dumb I’d never broadcast it to all our friends that’s so mean 😭
To the no female writers guy? Super red flag. I went to college and befriended those philosophy bros- they were the worst misogynists I’ve ever met. They used philosophy to explain how rational their man brains and how emotional and irrational women’s brains are. Yeah, misogyny is definitely why there aren’t more prominent female philosophers, but they exist- Aspasia of Miletus was such a great philosopher that Socrates called her HIS teacher and the reason he became so good at giving speeches. Hypatia was considered one of the last great thinkers of Alexandria and one of the first women to study and teach philosophy, astronomy, and math. Mary Wollstonecraft, the mother of SheEO herself Mary Shelley, is considered the founding mother of modern feminist philosophy and a massive women’s rights advocate. Akka Mahadevi was a poet/wander in India who spoke about alienation and confinement of traditional womanhood. Dr. Joyce Mitchell Cook was THE first Black woman in the US to receive a PhD in philosophy in 1965 and was considered a pioneer in American philosophy.
That is just a small handful. Don’t ever let any of these piss babies tell you that “women weren’t really in ancient philosophy”. If they say that, they are lazy liars.
Love the video, bestie. ❤
Awesome comment, thank you!
That is a fair perspective. From the story of OP it seemed that he just happened to have bring some books and didn’t put much thought into it. It would be good to read some books written by women and display them bc it’s important to know things from a woman’s perspective. Op is at least asking the question and seems to be more considerate than other people that you’ve mentioned
Yeah it makes me sad that the woman in the story couldn't talk to the men in a better manner. Maybe the man would have listened if she teducated him in female authors.
Well, assuming the story went as he told. We only know his perspective but maybe she was just saying it in a joking manner but he didn't pick up on her tone, causing him to come off as mean all of a sudden, escalating the situation. Honestly, that's the vibe I got from the story because I am terrible at understanding irony too lol
@@denizkaragullu6239 I do agree. It probably would’ve been better if she had asked if he’d be interested in any women authors who talk abt those subjects. I can understand that potentially being a red flag for someone bc of the specific books he has. It is a bit wild to talk to someone you barely know who invited you over and say it’s a red flag. Like you said it’s possible her tone was different than he thought
I def get it but it just depends on how large his collection is. If he had like 15? Books total I prob wouldn’t have thought about it but if he had a larger collection and none of them were women…def red flag. Like even if you bought books 100% randomly, there’s no way you avoided women authors
The "OP needs some new friends" line is the most #truth statement I've ever heard. As an adult in her late 20's who also reads YA sometimes, I felt her complete and utter pain. Let people read whatever the hell they want! Jesus Christ!
I'm **well** out of the YA demographic but I've read some really good YA! Even have some all time faves. People write it off so easily. Almost seems "cool" to hate on it or diss it. I read a wide variety of genres so I enjoy having it in the mix... well besides Romance just because I have a cold dead black heart 😆
Also girl why is your friend dictating what you’re allowed to read like please sit down lady
Imagine claiming to be the OP’s friends but criticizing and belittling her having healthy, wholesome coping mechanisms! How completely and utterly cringe
Exactly YA does hate some good and fun stories. YA books are kinda perfect books to read in the situation that OP’s in. She has a good husband bc he doesn’t care what she reads he just wants her to be happy. He’s willing to go to the library and get her the books
@@katierasburn9571 right! especially when most people don't read at all! if heard similar things from people who only read non-fiction and they look down on fiction readers "because you're not learning anything".. they obviously have no idea what they're talking about - I've learned a lot from fiction! I mean I read some non-fic too but there is a ton of value in fiction in general.
When you started reading the "telling your daughter to read less" one, I thought: wait, did my mom learn english, how to work a computer and has a reddit account that I don't know about...? This has been a topic of MANY conversations in my household. Not just by my mom, but also by my dad. Neither of them read. Nowadays I just respond with a "sure sure babes, whatever you say".
My mom used to be like that before I went on full on "I only read in English & it's really helping me learn new words and how grammar works" spiel. I'm still technically banend from buying books but hey she can't stop me :P
@@misamisaa4547 I wish I could say that but I have a goddamn diploma of fluency in english (my first language is brazilian portuguese). Maybe I'll have to start buying books in japanese and korean! Hahahaha But I'm an adult now, so I should stop caring about what she thinks. Teen brain is still on even though I'm 28.
The thing is for me, I sometimes hyperfixate on certaing hobbies as an escape mechanism. "If I am sewing or solving puzzles for hours on end instead of playing video games or watching anime, it is not a problem that I am avoiding my responsibilities" is the mentality I have subconsciously sometimes. Wish the mother told us if she was neglecting her school work or not, because that's the most important part of the story imo
The audacity of some people 😂. You don’t even have to have ptsd to read YA. I read it all the time because my poor brain can’t process super-complicated fantasy plotlines after a 10 hour shift.
If you think about it.. having to work 10 hours straight is its own kind of trauma 😭😂
@@sarawithoutanHbro having to work at all is trauma 😂
Of course the lesbians have the best communication out of all these couples
Honestly lol
yeah but they ended up bonding over smut of minor characters (and it's literally harry potter) so it's also kind of the worst situation imo
@@kaijuhunting I can almost guarantee that the characters are aged up, dramione is a really popular ship that fanfic authors basically just use to write their own romance stories. Now I personally am not a fan of harry potter, but I say fucking with canon is the best way to treat that trash author's books
@@sahraosman2593why hate on j k Rowling?
@@barbara9315Do you live under a rock? /gen She's transphobic, this had been going on since 2018
I admit, I pirate a lot of books. Most of them either aren't available in the local library or only exist in a language I don't understand that I read via fan translations. There's also a factor of not being able to afford to drop 20+€ on a book that I drop before even getting to halfway point. That being said, if I really like the book I pirated, I'll most likely buy a physical copy (+ the rest of the stuff the author wrote)
Yea, I think the difference is whether a person pirates somethibg because there's no other way for them to get to it or simply because they don't feel like paying or going to the library despite being able to. That person from the post literally said she COULD buy them, she just doesn't want to, and that's the problem here (it also makes the way she acts afterwards all the more hypocritical)
Agreed. There's a big difference between refusing to obtain the book through a free resource like a library and being unable to obtain it any other way. That girl's attitude from the post grinds my gears.
I also think there's a substantial difference between pirating films, tv etc and pirating books. In an age where buying a copy of something doesn't mean owning that copy, and having to basically continually re-pay for access to stuff when streaming corporations don't use that money to fairly pay their creators and crew, yeah that's one thing. But even with the growing popularity of ebooks and audio books, the physical copies aren't going anywhere and the authors get closer to fair pay for their work (to my understanding). No point in screwing them over needlessly. Now, hellishly overpriced college textbooks, yeah screw that lol.
Book Story: About 15 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship. My "boyfriend" had no regard for books or reading, but didn't really care what I did. He was also an alcoholic and would get mean drunk. At the time, it was the recession and we were all super poor, so I was utilizing the library a lot. One night, I was at work and he was home. He got mean drunk and literally destroyed $300 worth of library books, plus a bunch of my own books. I mean, he tore them apart, like shredded them. I had to go explain to the librarian how this douche canoe had gotten drunk and destroyed $300 worth of library materials. To the library's credit, they never sent me a bill, and that relationship ended very soon after that incident. There was a lot more mourning done for the destroyed books than there was for the end of that relationship. I think I'm still mourning those books, since (to me) destroying a book is about the worst thing you can do.
Sounds like those books died to save your life. Glad you're out of it.
To Kill a Mockingbird is a great book and contains great social values. I’ve read many books after high school that I wouldn’t list above TKAM if someone asked for my favorites. Really shows the pretentiousness of the group that they think a book isn’t as good just because it’s an easier read and accessible to younger people.
Just got to the YA post…i had the same experience with YA novels where I enjoyed them well into my 20s, but lately get annoyed at the characters because I can no longer relate to them. But just because something is considered “adult” doesn’t automatically make it more mature or “better” than YA. There are plenty of books immature with immature themes/plots/characters in the adult section too…and a lot of times they’re less fun on top of that.
my husband went to the same school as the sailor in that story. that school is no joke! i don't see how you can live with someone who goes through that schooling and deem them, "uneducated." also, so many people join the military in order to attend college on the GI Bill! Girl is beyond ignorant.
OMG! I remember reading in real time the one about the woman putting down her husband in the Navy. The absolute rage I felt reading that and I felt so bad for her husband. That woman is an elitist, classist piece of garbage and I never wanted to fight someone more.
I feel like the girlie with the reading partner needs to ask him to explain some of the things hes reading about to her so they can have conversations about it without her feeling dumb or left out
Good idea! Tbh I do feel like two hours every night is a fair bit. I mean assuming they both have full time jobs and just general responsibilities that wouldn’t leave much time for them to spend together
I think she is scared by the big words he is using, but she can definitely ask him for some reccommendations on entry-level philosophy books
I know this is touchy and subject to lots of different factors that we’re obviously not privy to but I’ve personally had my mom read my diary when I was a teen and OFC I was so upset like fully enraged but now as an adult and honestly not That long after it happened I understood that she was just worried about me and didn’t mean harm by it, she had a lapse in judgement, parents make mistakes. As long as OP genuinely apologizes to his daughter, doesn’t hold anything over her head and gives her time and space I think the trust btwn them could definitely be repaired. Saying that he’s done irreparable damage is kind of wild lol but I guess we all view things differently!
I think so too. Her view is such a western view lol. Obviously, reading your kid's diary is bad. But I understand his concerns. I definitely went through some horrible stuff that I didn't tell my parents about. It makes sense that he was concerned about her
My grandma used to reach a good 100+ of those common paperback romance books you can find at any store. Especially after retirement. When she was up until 3 some nights reading, my grandpa never got upset. He just started sleeping in another room so she could relax in her bed with the built in wall light she could adjust. It never interfered with her daily life.
I don't get what that mom on the daughter reading too much is about, especially if it's something she genuinely enjoys and brings her stress relief in life, because everyone needs some kind of coping mechanism. And I think reading is definitely one of the healthier coping mechanisms someone could have.
I think the woman pirating books is an asshole because her attitude is 'I can pay but don't want to.' I'm fine with people pirating when they can't afford something or don't have access, but if you're lucky enough to be in the position where buying a book won't break the bank, support the author! And support your local library!
Agreed. I live below the poverty line and still wouldn't ever pirate a book! And libraries are my happy place....
I do pirate the digital copies but buy the physical ones, when I'm not poor I'll aspire to get both 😭
Agreed!!
Okay I just had to comment on the navy nuclear power post. As someone who was a nuke in the navy and is now in college , the training is just as hard if not harder than college .
the single father thing i think is. very complicated. it seems like it was just a very poor choice. but theres also the fact that if she wasnt telling him things to begin with, even if asked about it (which we dont know if thats the situation or not), then its… a slippery topic. honestly if theyve had an overall good relationship then i dont actually think that this issue is gonna cause _irreparable_ damage. i experienced some pretty big invasions of privacy as an 11-13 year old from my parents but have since become way more traumatized by the things i had been doing in hiding than them desperately trying to get me outta danger and making bad decisions. ive talked to them since then. they agree they handled it poorly. now i advocate for handling said situations better for other folks dealing with kids who get into nasty subjects. im 19 now and still very close to my parents. being a parent means making mistakes, imo. i hope his daughter can get outta that depressive rut, and i hope he takes the experience to heart and tries to communicate better in the future.
now the piracy one is just funny. “i can afford it i just choose not to” “THIS IS AN ISSUE WITH BOOK CLUBS BEING CLASSIST!!!” honey youre just lazy. i pirate stuff when its far too expensive or not legally available anymore (think old software, adobe products, horribly overpriced comics that arent being made anymore, etc.), not books by random independent authors wtf. girl get real lmao.
OH MY GOD THE NOT WELL READ ONE. holy fucking shit. this man works on nuclear reactors. HE MENTIONS THAT HE READS A BUNCH OF MANUALS AND CLEARLY UNDERSTANDS THEM. That sounds pretty decently educated to me! like, probably more educated than myself and i graduated in multiple AP classes in highschool!!! give the dude some respect oh my god.
Oh sweet jesus the ‘read less’ one is infuriating. like on one hand if the girl werent doing her work then maybe thats an issue (used to know a kid who would read so late into the night that shed have issues staying awake in school, thats a legit trouble), but oh my god? calling it a waste of time???? SAYING PLAYING A SPORT IS A BETTER WAY TO SPEND TIME????? HELLO??? Sports are neat but you cant really get anywhere with that. with reading you learn to analyze and understand the literature, its good for the brain, it helps with mental health if she really loves that. come ON.
the one after that honestly op should try to read some of the books her partner does. then they could talk abt them together, could learn from eachother, etc. just sounds like shes really insecure and has gotta communicate better
I've only read like a handful of books by men seems kind of crazy not to have any books by women.
Right!? Like he's not an asshole but he should examine why he doesn't have any books by women...
@@sarawithoutanH This is not necessarily me DEFENDING this, but rather a perspective to offer. If his preferred genre happens to be old-timey historical writing/poetry, I think it's super difficult to find works by women from those time periods because they were not allowed to write, and even the rare exceptions often didn't get published or got lost in history. I do think it's a little weird for that to be someone's ONLY preferred genre, but idk some people just have very specific preferences. He should probably branch out, but I don't think it automatically means that he's intentionally disregarding works by women. Def not trying to argue at all, and I do think it's valid for someone to walk in and think it's weird (it would be a bit of a red flag for me).
It seems like he’s interested in philosophy and existentialist literature, and as someone with an interest in those areas, it’s pretty difficult to find existentialist fiction by female authors, and I’m actively looking for it. If you ask people for recs on those subjects, 9 times out of 10 they’ll recommend a book by a male author. I think this might be an area where there’s more of a problem with the field than individual consumers.
@@kayleighjoy3230 Simone de Beauvoir, Anais Nin.
@@kayleighjoy3230that’s unfortunately the case a lot of the time. But if he truly cares about existentialism, ignoring Simone de Beauvoir and Sarah Bakewell would be deeply ignorant on his part. Not necessarily a philosopher, but Anaïs Nin as well for existentialism lit.
I love it, your pup was like "oh we're starting let me get into position".❤ Thanks for your work on these, hope you are doing well!
I love videos examining AITA posts, so when it's also bookish, it's amazing!
you asked for a story, so i deliver
A literature teacher yelling at a student for reading
so when I was in highschool, we had a class where our teacher did not come and another teacher took over for her. This other teacher gave us an exercise to do, since we had nothing else. I finished my work and was pretty content with it, so I pulled out my book and started reading A gathering of Shadows by VE Schwab. My classmates were done too, some completely ignored the task. They were chatting not entirely quietly or were doing something on their phones. Yet this teacher looks at me and asks me to show him whatever I have in my lap.
So I put the book on my desk. He flipped out. He raged and yelled at me, how dare i disrespect him and not do what i was supposed to do, how dare I read and all this, ranting at me in italian for like solid 5 mins. Then he asked me to leave the classroom. Mind you, I finished the task, which took like 15 mins to do. What was i supposed to do the other 30? Also why am i getting yelled at when everyone else is being much more rude?
I felt like crying and I was frozen in place. Thankfully the bell rang and he left.
The next day he came and apologized to me for over-reacting but still insisted that I should not have been reading. It was so weird. I just nodded and did not poke it, but I could never forget it.
Weirdest of all, next year he gifted me an Agata Christie book since I liked reading...
5 years later i still do not know what to make of this ordeal
The one with the Navy Nuke guy, I see two red flags with the wife, 1. Bruh he deals with nukes, the man may not have college degrees but he is definitely smart, don’t put down your husband like that.
2. Why would you text your sister about the fight? I get many people like sharing stuff with their friends and family, but putting down your spouse or kids or complaining about them is not it, when things escalate one day and when your sister throws shade on your husband you’d get it.
Sometimes, you needn’t be telling everything to everyone about your relationship unless it’s abusive.
I find it so funny how people from older generations complain about young people not reading enough, and this lady is concerned that her daughter is reading "too much"? Sounds like the opposite of a problem 😂
I am still worried about the fanfic one, I hope this doesn't mean that OP's wife can't read fanfic by herself now and she HAS to read it together with OP.
I'm concerned why she felt porn is on level with cheating. But her reading it is just fine...
@@lucaleone4331 it's basically the same tbh, reading porn or watching it
When I went through a bad depression I read more children's classics and ya books too. They don't have a lot of triggers and are easier to read. If it's not hurting anyone and it helps why would a friend be so shitty about something so trivial. Absolute insanity. Sounds like they should grow up.
Not only am I in my 50s and still read kid lit fairly regularly, my town boasts more than one book club specifically for adults reading YA books.
Not going to lie i agree only having classic books by old white men is a red flag. 🍒
lmao true but maybe the random girl he didn't know was not the right person to tell him that
@sarawithoutanH this is fair but also totally something i would say to a stranger 🤣 maybe not the S*x part just more a vague red flag
At the very least it just reeks of pretension lmao
@@katierasburn9571 I truly don't think it does. I can see an issue with not reading any books written by women, likely due to him as a male having unconscious bias towards his own gender which leads to not exposing himself to other perspectives, but reading classic books is not pretentious by default. From the books listed, it sounds like he probably has an interest in moral debates and philosophy, which is not in itself pretentious, I would just encourage him to read books with similar themes by female authors. The pushback towards people reading classic literature as being 'pretentious' feels very reductive. And although all those authors listed were male, they were not all white.
don't necessarily disagree (case by case ig) but fun fact re. Mishima- he's a Japanese author who died in '70, and just so happened to be an ardent nationalist/royalist during Japan's imperial era (which he was born abt midway through) who was desperately disappointed not to have been able to join a military occupation force in the Philippines. He continued to emphasize the importance of the emperor in Japanese life/identity, though not without contempt in some terms (i.e. his renunciation of his own "divinity" post-war; make of that what you will), and generally had an explicit political life (including a healthy dose of anti-Americanism). He carried out seppuku in the culmination of a "failed" (debatable in terms of actual intent, but this is too long already) "coup" (also debatable) attempt to restore the emperor whle occupying a Japanese military police base. So maybe that just folds in further red flags lol... I've read one of his books on a whim from the library and it was a pretty good time/thematically interesting (esp knowing his history), but also so improbable/inconsistent in terms of plot details that it bothered me at times. I would also understand if someone wanted to his canon out of curiosity etc, but in context of OP's story it doesn't seem like that's the appeal. Sorry for the infodump, hope it was interesting to read!
That last one makes my blood BOIL. I'm 41, and I still love picking up a good YA novel.
And someone I've recently gotten really close to has been in something of a reading slump because of things going on in his life, so books for "our age" aren't holding his attention. I recommended a YA/NA book that is one of my favorites, and he's flying through it. Started it yesterday and he's over a hundred pages in. And I showed him a middle grade one I have that I loved (when I read it as a 27 year old,) and it sounded really interesting to him, so I bought him a copy. Now I just need to wait for it to get here so I can give it to him.
It's weird to me when people are so anti YA when many "adult" books are basically similar stories/characters with some smut thrown in.
this is so funny this was too good I need more of these
DAMN the Harry Potter story is crazy
this was so entertaining!! i’ve never seen a video like this but i’m so here for the drama. i bet it’s hard to find AITA stories that are this specific but please please if there’s new material, make another video for the series!! 😄
“What the fuck, that wasn’t in the book” 😂😂😂😂
🍒 Why do people even care what other people read? Why not read YA if it's fun for the reader? I don't get why everyone is so invested in what other people do. Feels like insecurity. Thanks for this video! It was fun!
As someone who reads fiction is a high school graduate. You actually learn A LOT from reading.
🍒 AITA experiences are always insane to me because I’m like there are real people like this ….. on both sides! Whether they are the asshole or not, SOMEONE in the story is usually a person I can’t believe is real
As someone who got into a car accident late last year and is going through mental healing I still struggle to read/perform hobbies at times so I think it’s great that OP was able to find a comfort genre to get her through these tough times. If it works for her and isn’t hurting anyone, why stop her?
I love these kinds of videos! Really provides such interesting perspectives on difficult topics which could actually help a lot of people.
i remember reading a couple of bookish AITA on r/AITAH!! (i say this as an avid reddit girlie) lovely & funny video 🩷🌸
I think one of these is from AITAH. I usually look at both! And obviously relationship advice
Lord, I cannot believe some of these people really exist.
First guy: NAH but his choice of books is… something. Those feel like coffee table books or books you display to look good, not childhood favourites. I mean, you can appreciate Ovid’s work but I can’t imagine someone using the little spare time they have during their studies to read Ovid.
Navy husband story: Hate faux-intellectuals like this. Reading books does not an intelligent person make (I’m a prime example 😂) I can’t imagine calling your partner uneducated, especially in front of friends. Not to mention the guy works on nuclear subs ffs! His technical knowledge must be far more difficult to grasp than whatever book Steve finds impressive.
OP likes YA books: you don’t need a reason to justify your preference for YA. But the fact that OP’s “friends” think she’s overreacting for wanting lighter reads after a traumatic experience makes them insensitive a**holes for sure. The audacity to dictate what she reads in her own time…
Ohmygosh if my father read my diary it would be hands 👊🏼
Not actually I love my dad, but I would be pretty angry 🥹😂
Ahh so much to unpack lol. The first few were quite cut and dry and I agree with you. As someone who had to quit the nuclear power track because it was a really damn intense program and totally relying on my academic weaknesses, that guy was not "poorly educated". Yes I do think having some rounded out elements of education is good obviously, but I do not begrudge someone in that job who doesn't want to spend extra energy on it. The erotica supplementing naughty times with spouse is fine imo, when it happens instead of it I'd ask questions (I'm also wondering about the p*rn being exploitative/unsafe.) I've read YA well into my adult years because it's often YA fantasy / scifi covers and concepts that draw my attention when I browse. Yeah that last person needs new friends.
When I was small, more than once my mom grounded me for reading too much. It really broke my heart. And now, when I mention this, she laughs, and treats like a funny story.
To be fair i have never looked at the authors name on a book unless i really enjoyed the book and want to read more from that author, like Merradith Russo
🍒 Oh! I think I have one! AITA for Asking my Boyfriend to Read my Manuscripts/Book Drafts
I'm a writer (not published yet, but hopefully someday 🤞) and a reader. It's such a big part of my life that I was super happy to find out my boyfriend liked to read too.
We don't generally like to read the same genres though. I read a lot of horror, mysteries, paranormal fantasy, and true crime (with other genres sprinkled in for flavor) and he likes high fantasy, epic fantasy, and sometimes some philosophical nonfiction.
We've tried to read each other's favorite books and that did not go well at all. Mine were too dramatic and his were not character driven enough to keep my interest. We eventually tried to find some books that we might mutually like, and while we had one or two successes, it was hard and it usually ended up with someone trying to hide their hurt feelings about not being able to accurately grasp what the other might really enjoy.
So we stopped and we don't share books anymore, but I've been a writer this whole time (We've been together 7 years). He has always refused to read my work because he's scared of offending me and for a long time, I tried to make peace with that. I don't NEED him to tell me he likes my work in order to keep writing or find success, but I would like his support. I basically blocked off that side of me for years... and it did/does eat at me that he doesn't even want to try to look at my greatest passion in life.
Writing takes up so much of my time and brain-space that it feels like I am holding back 50% of myself from the relationship because he just doesn't want or like it.
We had some relationship issues earlier this year and while we've been trying to figure out how to move forward, if we even want to at all, I have brought up that his lack of interest in my writing has been hard for me. I don't even need him to like it, tbh. I just need him to see it and show me support.
He told me again that he is scared of hurting my feelings. We had a long talk and he eventually agreed to read something of mine. I haven't sent him anything though because now I am worried I am coercing something from him that he doesn't want to freely give just because I feel like he doesn't accept all of me or doesn't want to acknowledge my ✨️art✨️.
AITA? What should I do?
😅
Wanting to share your passion for writing with your partner is both natural and also brave, because it can be scary and vulnerable to show your work, especially for the first time. It should be something a partner would take as a gesture of trust and an opportunity to offer support and reassurance. I’m not crazy about the signals he’s giving when he preemptively refused to read your stuff because he’s “afraid to hurt your feelings “. That sounds like he already has a low opinion of your ability as well as your taste. It also implies he’s got no inclination to provide constructive feedback, that no amount of thoughtful critique or collaboration would be worth the effort. I might be reading too much in to it, but that’s the impression I get from what you’ve posted. Maybe he will be pleasantly surprised once he does read some of your work, and his reluctance is just based on some feelings of awkwardness or anxiety that can be dispelled in the process.
One suggestion I might offer is to find an outside reader first, who is willing to edit a (small) draft for you and provide a good critique. Someone you aren’t quite so tangled up with, in terms of a relationship. If you haven’t done that yet anyway, it certainly has the potential to improve your writing, and the secondary benefit would be that you can show your boyfriend an edited draft instead of a raw passage, as a first sample of what you like to write. Online sites like Nanowrimo often have forums where you can pair up new writers willing to edit and review one another’s work, and can help you find groups in the same genre to bounce ideas and problems off of. Putting your reluctant boyfriend into the role of your first beta reader might not be the best way to engage him in your passion. It would be different if he was enthusiastic and supportive from the start.
If you do share a piece of your writing with your boyfriend first, try to curate carefully, and try to be clear up front what you’re hoping to get from him. Do you want a critique? An editorial eye for fixing spelling, syntax and grammar? General reassurance, support, and a genuine compliment, as in “what was your favorite part?” If you present it with a particular request, that might help guide his response. Hopefully his fears will be unfounded. I hope it helps you bridge the wall between the parts of your life that you are keeping separate within an important relationship.
Keep writing and pursuing your passion!
I dated a Navy Nuke instructor and am in the military myself AND college educated and I certainly could not understand half of the sentences in their manuals. That guy may not be well read in the book world but that man has some KNOWLEDGE. Either way, calling him out in public is big asshole vibes.
You look like Belle and I love it! ❤
🍒 i love the blue eyeshadow moment happening in this video 🥰
🩵🩵🩵
The last one 💀. Sounds likemy mom who called me stupid for reading webtoons
I’m in my 30s and haven’t been able to finish one chapter of a book since my early 20s. I was in college and felt forced to switch to adult books (especially classics) and reading them in their original language (English is not my first language). I’ve also been struggling with mental health and adhd. So yeah my enjoyment of reading was ruined.
Until recently when I decided to try reading a book from my childhood, Beach House by R.L. Stine (I was obsessed with the Point Horror series) and I read it in french. First time in almost 10 years that I finished a book. I felt really proud of myself. If I had friends like in that last story, I can’t imagine what it would have done to my mental health.
Here's my bookish IATA:
I am a big library user since my local library (LAPL) is one of the biggest systems in the US and has basically every title I could want. I almost exclusively read ebooks on my tablet that I access via the Libby app, so I have basically no need to purchase physical books.
HOWEVER, I also enjoy browsing bookstores to find titles, with no intention of buying them. I can spend hours doing this, where I search the shelves, find titles that intrigue me, and then search them on Libby to see if I can borrow/put a hold on the book. Am I the asshole for doing this? I don't feel as guilty if it's someplace like Barnes and Noble or Target, but I definitely do this at smaller bookstores as well. Buying the amount of books that I read would be ill-advised on my part since books are so $ and I make less than $30k a year, but should I be buying at least a few physical copies here and there to show my support to the book community?
Sorry if this was rambly lol. Love your videos!!
Personally, i feel like this is the best way to consume books as a low income person. Bc then when you see that it's good, and something you'd want to read over and over again, you can buy it. The online book community honestly has an overconsumption problem. Alot of libraries in LA have bookstores now that sell donated books for like 1-8 bucks.
Definitely not the asshole. Reading is expensive and if that’s how you can fulfill your needs so be it. Libraries are there for a reason🫶🏻
Lol no, libraries are there for free books but they’re terrible at being able to find things you want, so thats a great idea. Owning lots of books is an issue not only with money but also space!! You can always choose to buy your favourites after, thats what i usually do so then i have them forever
I don't see any issue with this. I think that's a great way to browse!
Not being well read IS NOT THE SAME as not educated
My partner has like three books and is not a big reader. His books are from childhood, all by male authors. That is no red flag to me.
He is much more of a gamer and follow both male and female and trans gamers/streamers. So maybe look at more than just a guys bookshelf before judging?
As someone with a mom that read my diary - and used the content to manipulate me - that is def wrong. I didn't find out she used to read it until I was an adult and I felt violated and that she crossed SO many boundaries, with reading the journal being the first one. A bit out of context for this video but my mom used to use her knowledge to gaslight me and to seem like she always knew everything. So she never quoted my diary but she just "seemed to know" everything and I remember asking how she knew some stuff and she just said she was intuitive or that a friend of mine or a sibling told her. She used the info to plant seeds of mistrust between me and other people to make me trust no one but her. And no, we no longer speak.
For the mom of the adult child (living on her own!) who reads a lot: If she seems to read everytime you are around her, maybe you need to focus on your relationship with your daughter and not her relationship with books. Also, if she says that reading is the only hobby she has time for now then she is probably spending a lot of her time STUDYING when not WORKING.
What someone chooses to read, especially when working to get her joy for reading back, is totally up to her. And there are a lot of adults that like middlegrade and YA books, why she shaming from OP's friends? Ridiculous.
Thank you for letting me as a follower bring out my bitchy side with you. I am rarely this judgy.
😂🍒
🍒 The guy who doesn't read books by women, it might be a choice. While it is rare, there are women who have written philosophy books. He should perhaps reflect on why that is. So, not exactly an asshole, unless his reason for not reading books by women is potentialal sexist.
agreed!
My partner doesn't own any books by female authors, but on the other hand he also doesn't own any "self-made millionaire sigma" books. Meanwhile I have an entire shelf dedicated to Nietzsche and Machiavelli. So in this case I am a red flag😂
First, I’d like to say that I am 63 and still read young adults romances. They often have a good stories with minimal six which I prefer. Sometimes the people are a little young, but I can overlook that for the other aspects of the book.
Second, I’ve gone through depression myself over the past 20 years, and slowly have lost my friends due to various issues. I wouldn’t be so quick to tell someone to throw her friends away because it’s not that easy to find new ones, frankly. . Sometimes talking with a friend and explaining yourself could help both of you. Just my 2¢!
For the first one: the girl is definitely the AH. Firstly, for being judgmental & secondly for being weirdly sexually aggressive?? If the guy read Dostoevsky and Mishima, he probably has read or is planning to read Iris Murdoch's work.
I find it so weird when people judge other's reading or favourite genres, but then will flip a table when someone do the same to their favourite books/authors/genre's. Let people read & don't assume the worst in people. (The only people I will side eye are those that use the books/ reading experience for bad, like that tiktok people that sexually h*rassed a CHILD 😒)
The story where the book club got mad about the book piracy is certainly not cut and dry- it's definitely and ESH situation. Kicking someone out for pirating books is actually the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but the scope of the persons reaction after they were kicked out is also bad.
@@jeccalou9894 Notice how I mentioned that her reaction was unjustified in my original comment?
@@alemonyoyo69420 wasn't just the reaction though, like other commenter said- she was behaving that way beforehand as well. I'm a library worker and wouldn't rlly bat an eye if someone felt that way abt libraries tbh, though I'd be curious as to why/how they'd formed that opinion, certainly wouldn't want them excluded from a book space for it- but she was just straight-up being unkind to other members over them taking an interest in her reading habits which is literally what the space is for. While I get her being pissed that they never had a rule abt pirating before, and I think setting one formally would be classist regardless of any disclaimers/exceptions they could try to bake in, she's also clearly inconsistent (saying it's not abt income, which ig could be untrue but still inconsistency, and later weaponizing classism to justify her behaviour). I also do think it's objectively shitty to pirate books from smaller authors, most of whom have at least one day job if not multiple, if you can access libraries and choose not to, but idk which authors she reads or if she can rlly access libraries in context etc.
it took me 6min to noticed the dog omg 😭😭😭 so cute
I don't think the mom who thinks her daughter "reads too much" is necessarily an AH. I think she's worried that her daughter is using fiction for escapism and that's consuming her life, which can definitely happen. Reading is good, but too much of a good thing can be bad so I don't necessarily think she's the AH.
Yeah I agree. I didn't enjoy this video too much because clearly Sara is a hardcore reader and super biased. If you get to make a living out of it, great, but like you said, reading can be pathological escapism. It can take a toll on your relationships if you refuse to compromise on reading time vs time together like the reading in the evenings OP and it's also not better or worse than porn if we're talking about erotica and its contents. But this is all coming from someone who is a medium dedicated reader who doesn't think of books being part of their identity.
@@Shirumoon I feel like the mom's tone/approach is just denigrating the habit/doesn't seem to come from genuine concern (though ig that's hard to assess at a distance). She suggests she would prefer the daughter to take up another hobby, like a sport, which isn't inherently more productive- both are technically based on the phased completion of specific "events" (a game/session or a book) which have basically arbitrary time limits and aren't strictly necessary. Both could theoretically contribute to a career and/or income, and as a college age student who clearly hasn't been heavily involved with sport if at all, reading is actually more likely to do so for her. The career window would be closed in sport at that age and there are few "casual" income opportunities for it, unlike, for instance, content creating on a book-based platform. Either way, I do think she should be allowed to enjoy it and mom should maybe try asking why she likes it/what she gets from it rather than jumping to shut it down, but I do get your point so this is all besides.
your eye shadow is so pretty omg!!!!
I'm 26 and only in the past few years have I noticed that I'm starting to lean more and more towards adult and away from YA. But there's still YA books I read and enjoy. When I was younger, my mother would sometimes borrow YA books I had and enjoy them too. YA isn't always juvenile at all and even if it is, maybe that's something you enjoy. I hate people being judgmental about reading tastes.
🍒 I had a bit of an AITA instance with someone about reading.
I (28 F) read very nearly exclusively fiction books. Not even because I don't like nonfiction, I just enjoy my fantastical stories. I tend to gravitate towards fantasy and horror predominantly, but I also read manga and graphic novels, which can vary between genres greatly. I read a great range of books, from classic to just released, from all different kinds of backgrounds and perspectives. It's just all fiction.
My mom meanwhile reads exclusively nonfiction, predominantly about historical figures related to the area we live in or about cities in our state, since it's a very historically significant area.
We both talk to each other about what we read, and while we both have tried to get the other to read what we personally enjoy, we also don't mind just having talks about it.
But I have a family member who keeps telling me that I'm behaving like a child by only reading fiction books, and that adults need to read nonfiction. It's all I read and that's embarassing.
It's been frustrating, because, again, I don't have a problem with nonfiction. It's just not what I want to read generally. But I also know that it's generally suggested that you have a mixed range of reading material, not just with genre and authors, but fiction and nonfiction. I feel like I should be free to read whatever I like, but I can concede that I should want to read more. It's just disheartening to hear this family member constantly making these comments whenever I buy a new book or start a new one, and it inevitably will lead to this conversation all over again, and I have to justify why I'm reading it.
is the reading too much an immigrant parent thing 😭😭 my dad has criticized me constantly for only reading fiction novels as if that is less than
I knew it was going to be Dramione! OP should've been a bro and dropped a link. 🤣(Glad she could work it out with her wife though!)
I want to push back on the first one about the books listed being pretentious or those authors being pretentious. After reading the full post and full list I'd say he's probably using them to signal that but I don't believe them to be inherently pretentious. Especially given that they're pretty accessible. Dostoyevsky most of all. But also he also listed the Game of Thrones series.
The bigger red flag is Robert Greene and a couple of books by a fascist.
Ive been a librarian for 10+ years. I know what men like to read. I know what teenage boys like to read. I know what little boys like to read. And from my professional opinion… oop is full of shit. Unless the dude is an English major, no freakin way is he taking all those classics with him for no other reason than to show off. Im pretty damn sure the story of a fEmAle getting angry over his lack of women authors is fictional.
The only case where the guy who doesn't read books written by women wouldn't be a red flag is if he just hadn't thought about it and happened to only have men authors. I have a lot of books that I don't know/ think about who the author is, but I do think given the kinds of books and authors he reads it is odd that not one is written by a woman. The whole situation is a bit bizarre but how things were told he was not an ah and the friend was acting super aggressive and weird, but I also wouldn't put it past the op to be unreliable narrator.
With the girl who is “reading too much” I think it’s fine as long as she’s passing her classes. I can understand the concern abt her spending more time on fun reading than reading for her classes. Then OP suggests sports which is something that would also take away her time for reading for class. Probably even more than her fun reading. It’s possible that some of the assignments she has for school don’t require reading depending on her certain classes. Maybe she focuses on reading for class while she’s at school. She’s doing both school and work so she deserves a little downtime of fun reading
She def needs new friends. I read a bunch of YA. Especially YA fantasy. Ew…how weird to tell someone what to read lol
After just having watched a video that was about the Barbie movie and the way it shows patriarchy I feel like the first post was just a woman making a silly joke like I'm sure she didn't actually think he was a sexists for the books in his room. Instead of taking it personally he could have just said "haha wait you're right I didn't even notice that yeah I probably wouldn't either to be fair lmao". - I mean it's one thing if she obviously was being rude about it but other than that I think how a man reacts to these comments says more than the observation itself.
The girlies should anonymously share our own craziest stories and see Aaron respond
Lmao yes
Imagine getting upset at an adult for reading *checks notes* books written for adults.
15:23 They aren't different if you start to think about feelings of their partner and not about the ethics of porn industry.
Someone watching a porn, getting turned on and masturbating is the same as someone reading smutt, getting turned on and masturbating. The media is different but design is the same.
People say that it's valid to be sad that your partner's watching porn. But if your partner's reading it, you can't be sad because "it's just a book, it's not real". I find it deeply hypocritical.
We're not talking about about book porn addiction being as bad as usual porn. The discussion is that it can effect people you're in relationship with the same way. And its valid.
First dude: NTA. No, not really. He isn't avoiding them, he just doesn't care. The topics are old philosophy and old poems, which is mostly written by dudes.
Second dude: Undecided. You not only broke her trust in you, that coping mechanism has completely lost it's sucurity. You should have just kept your mouth shut if she wasn't suicidal or injuring herself. If she was, then yeah, that's in need of intervention.
Third story: YTA. That's a crappy thing to say. Why would that be a good thing to say? Can she do the job he does? Cause it sounds like they are just good at different things.
Fourth story: It's none of her business, and it isn't time throwing away. If she can keep her grades up, then it's fine. But she is an adult, and she needs to butt out.
Fifth story: that's awesome that he takes time to himself. She does not need to have his attention 100% of the time. She needs to let him be.
Sixth story: Yeah, that's weird. They're teenagers. If they were adults, yeah, wouldn't matter. But most fanfics are when they are in highschool. But that's beside the point.
Good that they opened up to each other, NAH.
Seventh story: That is crap. She can read whatever she wants. Her freinds need to mind there business. Are they aware of some of the books sorted into the YA section nowwadays? Cause they are way more mature then people think they are. Some of them are erotica, some of them have themes of domestic violence or abuse, the books OP is reading are probably not like that, but that women shouldn't dismiss the section as a whole.
With the book club lady, she had an AH attitude but I get the whole not buying books, especially for a book club, bc what if you don't like the book? what if you hate the author or the book itself? I wouldn't want to spend my money on that! But not wanting to borrow it from a library bc it's "old fashioned"? even when (i guess) you live in the us where now the libraries even have digital copies to borrow and are really accessible?? Yeah, she was dumb and totally the AH
Military education and college education aren’t the same thing bc military education is likely harder to learn than most most stuff you would learn at with a typical college education
I’m 54 and read plenty of YA books.
I often pirate books but ONLY if I have purchased a physical copy like a little free digital download to go with it (for kindle reading)
The last one made me so angry😤
The first guy wasn't wrong in any way whatsoever.
I think for your next drunk review video, you should do the Harry Potter fan fiction My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie. It would be amazing!
all these people sound absolutely insufferable..
The pirate girl is too smug about it and disconnected from reality to think its ok just because she can.
I live in Russia, and our government is very into censorship these days, and lots of books are unavailable. And demand is high, so its very easy to pirate stuff. But I still purchase books, sometimes through foreign friends.
If you have access and can afford it - no excuse.
The first guy, at least he reads.
I have and love a ton of those books the no women guy has too....and Angelou and Austen and the Bronte's and Butler and Chopin and Christie and Dickinson and du Maurier and Eliot and Gaskell and Hinton and Kaysen and Lee and Le Guin and Morrison and Plath and Shelley and Tartt and Wharton and not to mention the legendary female comic and manga writers out there. Loving classics DOES NOT MEAN AND HAS NEVER MEANT excluding women. You have to be *trying* to, really. I agree the girl was harsh, but if it had been me I'd dig deep with that guy.
To the female writer guy........ My favorite books are Proust's. Favorite books shouldn't depend on the gender of the writer. But with that said. Especially in classics, female representation is very lacking. I love the classics but then I have to ask myself about the women in the story, so then I go and read some books on feminism. If he's reading those kinds of books I'm gonna guess he's either a pretentious a-hole or that he genuinely enjoys reading and expanding his mind through it, in which case the lack of female representation is... Concerning. The girl was pretty rude about it but I don't feel he would be my favorite person either
With the last story if the friend thinks it’s just a book. Then she shouldn’t be that mad abt OP reading YA books. The friend needs to stop being childish and let OP read the books she wants to
The lady who didn't want her daughter reading so much sounds kinda silly imo. Seriously, she should be glad her daughter picked up a hobby that doesn't require expensive sports equipment or getting up at the butt crack of dawn to drive here and there for tournaments or games or shows. And so what if it is fiction? It's called escapism because, frankly, reality sucks a lot of the time. I mostly read fiction. And although I never dropped out of university, it definitely killed my desire and love of reading for fun. It is only late last year that I started reading again, and even now, it doesn't hold the same type of wonder or fun it did when I was a kid/teen. That lady just needs to let people enjoy what they enjoy and stop raining on her daughter's parade. Sorry, I just get kinda pissy if someone was to criticize me for a hobby I have--"It's my hobby and my spare time, so I can do as I please. There is no you anywhere in that sentence, so screw off."
How could i not own books by female authors, where would i get all my Gay m/m romance.....
I just want to be the HP lesbians friends 😅
Considering the fact that fanfiction is about 2 minor characters, I wouldn't say its all that better than irl p0rn. Especially with all those tags and how alot of fanfiction tends to have dubious consent at best.
To be fair to ao3 theres warning tags for non/dubious consent so you can filter that shit out if you dont want that ick (me)
@katierasburn9571 I'm an avid a03 reader i know how their system works. I just think its not unreasonable to question why someone would read that about minor character.
@@larynadams1127 yeah I feel like that's being skipped over, maybe bc ppl are so used to it online, esp with these older, extremely popular series where most of the fanbase is now in their early-mid/mid adulthood (there are also new child fans ofc, idk abt the exact demographic breakdown, but I feel like there are at least less than there were after initial publication and the early 2000s, though maybe as many or more over time, blah blah mostly irrelevant). But I do find it odd? The characters could be aged up (I do somewhat get adults who grew up with a series now wanting to explore various adult aspects of the characters' lives and think its fine as long as they keep it away from child fans), and either way they are just imagined bodies which can be pictured as "adult" as a reader wants (i.e. someone could read smut of adult characters and picture them as teenagers, for instance), but it does still rub me the wrong way a bit when there is so much erotica of adult characters from fictional canons and just purpose-built freely accessible online. Like it wouldn't freak me out but I would be asking less why they want to read abt Draco's dick and more why the dick they read abt has to be Draco, the fictional child fascist's?
yassss dramione!
PSA to the @-holes in these posts: there is NO SUCH THING as reading "too much"! 😄
That is such a bizarre take on YA. Who cares what she's reading, if she's enjoying the books? It's not like she was getting Mein Kampf or some sh--. As long as it isn't harmful or offensive stuff, mind your own business on people's taste.
🍒
Of course that one University student had all books written by men.. they were a bunch of a
Classics.. I mean outside of George Eliot and Mary Shelley I can't really think of other prominent women Classic authors.. okay maybe Shirley Jackson but that's more recent.
Jane austen, the bronte sisters, virginia woolfe, harper lee, louisa may alcott… theres plenty enough
@@katierasburn9571 oh yea.. I have some Bronte and Wolff lol. but I can see why a man might not gravitate towards things that have more Romance or emotions in it. If one is learning Philosophy and other metaphysical stuff in class, that has been typically written by men. I've never broken down my books by the author's gender.. but taking a quick scan now I'd say I have a pretty good mix, and in all genres (just no Romance for me). I couldn't imagine have only men authors or only women authors! but I'm also not reading for a particular subject in school. I wonder where that person was attending...