Do I Regret My Transition? (Ftm Detransitioner)
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- Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2019
- I am a lesbian that used to identify as trangender and stopped testosterone after two years of hormone therapy. Since I decided to detransition I frequently get asked if i regret my transition. So here are my experiences with regrets!
What do you think about this topic? Do you feel regret or managed to overcome those feelings? Let me know in the comments!
#detransition
The frontal lobe, which is involved in impulse control, is not fully finished developing until about age 25.
but 21 year olds can do anything lmao ok boomer
@@electro2781 ????? Not a boomer but ok millennial... ????
Thank you, that was the biological explanation I needed! :D
Thank you for making this video.
I'm an older lesbian. There was no transition when I was young. Most lesbians were gender non conforming and we were proud. It was us against the world. :)
I wanted to be a boy as a child and hated my female body when I grew up. But because transition didn't exist, we didn't think about it much and we grew out of it. I soon learned to embrace my womanhood.
Dysphoria is a bitch, but it shouldn't define us. Check my videos, I talk about gender and feminism.
True, I am sure that if I would have never found out about being transgender and the possibility to transition, I would probably have grown out of it. Identifying as trans and knowing that it's only a matter of time until I get surgery actually made my dysphoria much worse.
Your videos are great!
If you felt REAL dysphoria you would know that you can't grow out of it. Being transgender is not a choice, neither a social construct. You seem to identify as a woman and maybe you don't like some of your bodyparts. But this is NOT dysphoria!!! Dysphoria is when you can't identify with the gender you were born with. A real transgender person cannot grow out of it. Wanting to enjoy male privilege does NOT make you transgender.
@@fynnaugustus3488 there is nothing REAL my fear friend. But I agree that being trans is not a choice: there are differents factors involved and surely it's not just a social thing.
@@jacktheduck3941 what do you mean by "there is nothing real"? I mean that you can feel dysphoric, but you could also have body dysmorphia and think it is dysphoria.
@@fynnaugustus3488 Nobody knows exactly what it is and if or when it COULD go away. Dysphoria is not an on/off switch, it comes in different degrees and different forms. There have been people who were professionally diagnosed with dysphoria and "grew out of it". What Nelemil described about the decision making parts of the brain is very true en very important. Letting kids transition at 12-13-14 or even 16-17 is for some kids very helpful, but for others detrimental. We do not know enough to make "right" decisions. It's still a big blur for the most part :)
I’m a biological man . I consider myself really supportive of LGBT people and transgendered people . I actually watch a lot of gay and trans creators , not even because of the issues but because I just consider them really interesting and the content entertaining . That being said. , I can’t help the way I feel about women , and I’m really sorry about the way women are treated sometimes by men. Honestly I can’t stop my attraction to females , but I can obviously control my reaction and not make them uncomfortable about my feelings . I may see an attractive woman in the room and have thoughts of attraction but I also realize that these are my feelings and not hers . No one should disrespect or belittle a woman just because they look a certain way or are conventionally attractive .
The reason I thought this was because , although you come off as more gender fluid I saw What I consider a more female centric side To you in this video than before , and it made me think of how shitty it must have felt for you as a young child to be objectified by men. Some men just can’t control themselves and they should be dealt with accordingly . I think every father should have a talk with their son about how to treat women and how to interact with them . I wish more men knew how uncomfortable and how life altering some of the cat calling and harassment can be.
You’re a very interesting creator and the videos are great . They have an educational quality that is certainly welcome in the world. I’m glad you are finding therapeutic value from it as well. Keep on !
As a gay man I like your voice pretty much. 🙈 I know it doesn't help a lot, but it's not bad now, just very different. And tenor voices are always looked for in choirs, so you might have a safe space there. And who knows, maybe over the years it might gain a unique tone between the genders mainly intersex people or detransitioners are able to produce, which can be very interesting to listen to (realized that on a music TV show the other day). So if you enjoy singing, stick to it!
And speaking messages onto your friends' voice mail as their "boyfriend" to irritate their parents could be quite funny. XD
Anyways, glad you're happy now and thx for the video.
Voice can be feminized back. Check out Zoey Alexandria and TransVoiceLessons here on RUclips.
It is possible to be feminized back. But it's nothing to be said matter-of-fact like, especially if young people are watching videos like this and reading the comments, considering making the jump. Some women get back close to their original voice, and depending on how long she is on hormone blockers and cross sex hormones, she could get it back all the way. Assuming it hasn't changed drastically. But many never do. A lot of young people who think they might be trans assume they can "try out" hormones without realizing the permanent and/or negative effects it can have, especially when on them for a prolonged period of time. During puberty or before early adulthood, 6 months to a year is long enough to do irreversible change (or damage, if it's something you change your mind on). One female detransitioned youtuber (I can't remember her name off the top of my head, will add later) was on hormones for a year and a half between the ages of 16-18. She experienced excessive hair loss, weight gain, other symptoms, but the one she regretted most was her deep voice. She looks like a woman, but when she speaks people assume she is a trans woman more often than not.
I don't make this comment to judge or dissuade trans peolple who are absolutely 100% certain they are trans (although we've seen many who felt certain at the time, Tyince and Trevor Moran for example, who later regretted it), but for any young people who are perhaps unsure or confused or considering experimentation. Tyince says she wishes she had done more thorough therapy beforehand to get to the root issue of her desire to transition (for her it was a defense mechanism in response to child sex abuse, and felt if she could essentially "get rid" of her female body, she wouldn't be at risk from male harassment, molestation, rape; Others are autistic, dealing with eating disorders, depression, or otherwise body dysmorphic, and these disorders can be confused for gender dysphoria if doctors and gender specialists don't thoroughly explore other avenues). For any young person reading, it's better to be safe rather than sorry. Your whole entire life is ahead of you, and if you still want to transition as an adult, that is readily available to you. So I agree with the youtuber, it is better to make these big jumps as an adult, when your brain is fully developed and you can better make these decisions that will alter the rest of your life.
@@youcantdiealonewithcats I feel like your response would do better as an original comment, as I can't see how it's supposed to pertain to mine. Those channels I've recomended are about voice training and are run by trans women who have gone through male puberty. The show how it's possible to sound - with a ton of practice - even if one has male larynx. I wasn't saying anything about other aspects of transition, some of which are irreversible.
I found your videos and I feel like I’m watching my daughter in the future. She is 12, she hit puberty at 10, and soon after started having body issues. She has came out as gay, and now is saying she is transgender. I feel like she is just having problems with her new body but don’t want to shut her feelings down obviously. She draws, loves art and so hearing that you went through so much that sounds similar is comforting as well as frightening to hope that I can help my daughter through however this turns out. Any advice would be great
Hi Jen, disclaimer that I’m not a professional, just someone who went through something very similar to what it sounds like she’s going through. I can tell you what I wish I had had was for my mum to listen to me and to not panic and try to make me not see that I was not trans because that was an important identity for me at the time and in part still now. Also I wish my mum had taken me to see a therapist to talk about exactly what it is I was experiencing that means she wants to use the term transgender to describe myself because now I’m having to unpack that many years later which is hard to do. In my experience telling her she isn’t transgender wont stop her, it will just make her want to be more the gender she wants to be seen as to try and prove herself, and also push you away which is a horrible experience to have to go through. If she wants to use a new name or pronoun it’s not the end of the world, those things can be changed anytime and I feel like what matters is distress management and helping her to find comfort in the moment so that she feels like she has space to think about everything properly without getting wound up in distress. She might not even want any medical intervention but that’s obviously a big and serious thing to discuss with a therapist properly. It’s hard for anyone to see their child in a lot of distress but it will all be okay, she’ll find herself eventually and the best thing you can do it remind her that her brain is doing so much changing right now and to just give herself time to understand and accept herself for whoever she is, whether she identifies as trans or not.
Casper thank you so much for some insight. We have started her with a counselor, and have said no matter what she decides we love and accept it. And that we just wanted her to continue to grow and mature as a general person ( not focusing on gender specifically just growing as a pre-teen and soon a teen). That she is still growing and maturing. I’ve just obviously never been through something like this and want to make sure I’m handling it okay and not pushing her away. But I also don’t want to push her one way or another, but it’s such an unfamiliar situation for me to be in.
Jen Selman Elle Palmer is a youtuber & girl who transitioned to male & now detransitioned back to female. She talks a lot about her story & was also a teen girl that had bad body image issues that may have played a part in her initial transition. She provides a lot of insight on her experiences as a teen girl, dealing with body issues, transitioning, detransitioning, etc. might be helpful to see her perspective
Hailey Warsaw thank you so much! I will look her up!
A Berryman I would not allow her to go through any actual physical changes. She would have to make those huge decisions as an adult, she’s not done developing as a human being yet, so I wouldn’t start messing with any of that.
What I really wish young girls and women to know is that it is so so so common to have these negative feelings about your breasts, especially amongst butch/masc/andro lesbians.
I think a big part is our natural rejection of femininity and not wanting to attract the gaze.
I don’t know any woman that didn’t suffer with body image in one form or another, in their teens and early 20’s. You are correct when you say the brain is still developing and isn’t fully developed until we are around 26.
It’s literally all a learning curve and so much changes over time. Including how you feel about yourself and your body.
As someone who is getting on a bit now, I would like to give a few words of wisdom.
We live in a society where the darker side wants us to hate ourselves and wants to make money from that. It’s feeds into our insecurities and low self esteem. I have learned that true rebellion, is to love yourself as you are, don’t let yourself me manipulated and used.
I’ve spent a life time not fitting in with the mainstream of society. I’ve dieted all my life and hated my body and been shamed and bullied for it. (I have since found out I have a genetic fat storing disorder and it’s not my fault)...god the years I wasted on trying to be something I couldn’t.
I’m nearly 50 and my new fixation is my neck...it’s looking a bit scraggy...and now I’m stressing about ageing (I’ve been looking young for my age until recently ).
It’s just one thing after another, as a woman. I’m having to mentally fight against the negative feelings about ageing. One voice says “get a neck lift” the other says “fuck you. I will embrace my ageing!!”
What’s my point? Well I supper I’m trying to say, that finding fault and discomfort in ourselves can be never ending. If it’s not one thing it’s another. If I could tell my younger self anything it would be to not waste so many years worrying about weight and looks and ageing...just try live in the moment and enjoy what you have. We simply “can’t always get what we want...but if we try sometimes, we just might find...we get what we need!”
Danke, dass du so mutig bist und über negative Seiten deiner Transition redest. Junge Lesben brauchen mehr Blickwinkel
Ich bin ungefähr seit nem halben Jahr als ftm geoutet und eigentlich fühlt sich alles super an, aber dann seh ich so viele storys von detransitionern und habe wahnsinnig Angst, dass ich das in zwei Jahren sein könnte. Denn wie du ja auch meintest, du warst dir ja an einem Punkt genau so super sicher, dass das der richtige weg für dich ist, wie ich jetzt wahrscheinlich. Aber deshalb will ich mir auch noch sehr viel Zeit lassen mit der körperlichen Transition. Was aber auch wahnsinnig macht, das einfache Warten... Gibt es denn irgendwelche Wege vorher auszuschließen, dass man das bereuen könnte?
Finde das super, wie offen du deinen Weg hier teilst btw:)
Hey danke für deinen lieben Kommentar! Leider ist es unmöglich in die Zukunft zu sehen um zu wissen, ob man eine Entscheidung bereuen wird oder nicht, aber wenn man sich selbst beobachtet kann man vielleicht einschätzen wie man in ähnlichen Situationen reagiert hat. Beispielsweise weiß ich, dass ich eine sehr "extreme" Person bin, wenn ich etwas mache, dann mit 150%. Und ich bin eine Person die nicht viel plant oder Konzepte entwickelt, ich bin ein "Macher", ich setze Dinge in die Realität um, ohne lange zu zögern. Dies hat Vor- und Nachteile und ist etwas, was ich vor irreversiblen Entscheidungen immer beachten sollte.
Und ich denke dass alles, wirklich alles im Leben eine Phase ist, und das ist total normal und gut so.
Ich finde es sehr stark von dir dass du dich so reflektiert über verschiedene Standpunkte informierst und kann sehr gut verstehen, dass das Warten unerträglich scheint. Ich wünsche dir alles gute auf deinem Weg! :)
🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 Du bist toll :)
Hihi du bist cute! :)
Hey! Ich würde sehr gerne Deine BA Arbeit mal lesen. Gibt's die irgendwo zu lesen? :)
Hoffe es ist okay, wenn ich dir mal eine PN via Insta schicke?
You are a very beautiful person. It is a special beauty that is somehow emerging from inside of you especially in your eyes and smile and your moves. And your voice is very pleasant to hear, despite it is deep, also your way of speaking is very nice (maybe because you are German and don't speak in the "american" way that is too dramatic for my Czech ears.). I write you this, because it just went in my head during first minutes of your video.
Maybe this article could be intersting for you: www.eneuro.org/content/eneuro/early/2019/12/02/ENEURO.0183-19.2019.full.pdf
"A new theory of gender dysphoria argues the symptoms of the condition are due to changes in network activity, rather than incorrect brain sex." I am not transgender, but it was very useful for me to realize the complexity of the brain functions. You speak about mediation in the other video. Mediation can change brain neural networks significantly therefore it could a very efficient way to help lowering dysphoria. Maybe you should find some academic neurologists to consult your experience with them.
do you think there is discrimination in the lesbian community about people who choose to have a mastectomy... Im a gay guy and dont really bond well with other gays generally. I have friends of all types and ages and genders and just click with people who I find interesting or empathic. well I suppose I have answered my own question, I guess everyone discriminates, but I find identity politics oddly useless when out in the world . I guess healing and becoming NOW is to abandon preconceptions and the eternal blame game. and naming conventions...sometimes if people ask me if I am gay, I say no I am not gay I am me. but I wink at the same time to let them know I understand the question and are amused.. thanks and good luck for the future and of course not just luck but making the right decisions for you as a person...
Just out of curiousity. What country are you from?
Germany
👍
I dont understaand, so u feel reverse dysphoria? But not about your chest?
Im almost sure I want a mastectomy and I want to live the rest of my life as male but then thats still not enough to be trans thats so confusing
Go and take at least 2 years of therapy- You might only have a dysphoria and other problems . Don't change the whole house if you can paint the walls in a new colour
I dont like to stand naked between any gender lol its just awkward, weird, and Im not raised into that habit so no.... lol
does your voice go higher again ? or its gonna stay like that forever
The voice is irreversible
Wohnst du in Deutschland oder kamst du aus Deutschland? :)
I grew up in Portugal around a small community of English speaking germans and for only one month off T your voice sounds female to me
Are you German? :)