Alternatives To Deal With Gender Dysphoria
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
- Important note: Some people transition and it really helps them on a long term. This video is not ment to tell anyone who transitioned that they could have dealt with it in a different way. It simply offers ideas for alternatives without discrediting the choice of transitioning.
Now that I am detransitioning I am (partly) facing my former dysphoria again. Here are some small things that are currently helping me (or that I know they would if I would improve them a bit more haha).
Did you find any of these ideas helpful or do you have other alternatives that make you feel better in your own body? Feel free to leave them in the comments!
The mindfulness meditations I mentioned:
www.uclahealth.org/marc/mindf...
#detransition
you have come a long way to understand yourself, thank you for explaining that this pain can be resolved over time and that we should not rush to surgery and hormones. so many people go through doubts and it is so difficult to recognize themselves as a "woman" in this society ... I find that what doctors do is a scandal - an attack on the integrity of people in distress. Thanks ... talk to us again
I have to wait 3 years to get on testosterone as a transguy since I came out. I have had 2 years now, so in 1 year time I can start T. I really hate waiting for so long but after hearing stories like this I think it is not a bad thing to wait this long. It sucks, but I think it is worth it.
I wish I went to therapy prior to transition. That's all. I'm 2 and a half years on T, and am currently growing my hair back out. I'm thinking of detransitioning, but holding on to my beard until my 22nd birthday in April. I wish I had more exposed to masculine women and hell just lesbian culture in general, but everything screamed I was a man. I've had gender dysphoria my entire life, and feared puberty years before I started. Of course it escalated when I ended up having the largest chest out literally anyone I've met in my life. Here we are, a decade later, and I haven't binded in almost a year now. My chest has shrunk immensely, but the past year with a somewhat visible chest bump and a full beard...well I'm misgendered on a daily basis. If I binded I know I'd pass, but my ribcage started bending inwards two years ago and I no longer can bind. But the past year without binding has proved that yes I do have some problem with my chest. But it's also way easier to deal with now.
Meditating helps. Hiking helps too. I hate to say this but the occasional hike with a small handful of mushrooms really allows me to think through my thoughts clearly, without influence or fear. It's been months since I've done this, and I'm to the point where I really need to sit down and think about what I want from my future.
I have no family left. Detransitioning would solely be for myself.
I love your videos. You're not agressive, which I need in this time of healing. You are doing a great job hun. Our lives are constantly changing. And everything happens for a reason, even if we don't find that reason for many years down the line. Namaste
❤ I hope you are well ❤ Thank you for sharing this. 🤗
sending you so much love
You've learned the lessons of self-compassion that some people don't learn in their entire lifetime. Good for you and keep making these amazing videos and sharing your wisdom.
You can have gender dysphoria and detransition. You can have gender dysphoria, want to transition and still want it after even gender confirmation surgery. The reason for the misunderstanding is that youtube is dominated in the trans section of commenters by younger trans people, often those who are incredibly gender conforming, sometimes because they're pressured due to being in the beginning of medical transition.
I know you talk about how your transition was influenced by societal misogyny, but you need to bear in mind that for many of us the pressure comes from societal transphobia and possibly transmisogyny, and views about how people of our actual gender should be. When you describe the reasons you transitioned, it sounds like you think you were always female, whereas there are people who might have identified as that gender and transitioned, then stopped feeling that way. Basically, it's not wrong to feel you were trans and then you weren't, no one's owed an explanation but I gather you don't feel like you were a man.
All I can say is, your description of this as "alternatives" for dysphoria assumes people who medically transition, watch timelines, literally any of that, just don't do these mental things. That. Is. Not. True.
I've spent the past 15 years on the internet... The amount of misogyny you can find is ridiculous.. Also I don't understand why single men are seen as "cool" whereas single women are seen as "lonely, pathetic, sad, just can't find a boyfriend, slutty, picky" etc.. Women are constantly being reminded of how old they are... "oh you're 28, gotta find a man soon or its too late!" Men don't get treated like that. A single 28y old guy can just chill, no one's judging him. My father remarried at age 59 and the wife is 34. No one's saying nothing about the ridiculous age gap. Imagine if a 59y old woman married a 34y old man.. If it was the other way around. Also why tf is cooking somehow the woman's duty? How come women receive harsh criticism for having short hair.. Men can have any hairstyle they want. There are so many examples.
exactly, and the sexualization of women too! i think when a young person comes out as trans, we should focus on why they hate their birth gender rather than how much they hate it before we help them transition. because it’s usually these societal issues that have messed with their psychosexual development that they themselves cannot pinpoint as it is buried in the subconscious. so many people overlook this and choose the hard way of socially/medically transitioning and living the hardships as a trans person.
Thanks for another great video. Honestly, you're really making me think! Finding the source of dysphoria or dysmorphia can be a challenge.... I'm just realizing now that my eating disorder came from growing up in a really strict, conservative, religious household/community where women were expected to be submissive to the man. This infuriated me as a child and made me afraid of having a fuller female figure.
Anyway, please keep making videos!! 💖
I honestly can't understand your experience because I'm cis, but I think you're very wise and mature in the way your dealing with this.
Although I never experienced any kind of dysphoria, of course as a woman I've had issues with my body, so I can say that the best way I've find to connect with it and appreciate it is lifting weights. You have to tune so much with your muscles, movement and mind, that it's a type of meditation, and seeing the progress you slowly make towards lifting more and more is amazing. I used to hate my thighs so much because of how "big" they are, but since I started lifting I love them because they allow me to squat and deadlift, my favourite exercises. I'm so greatful to have a body that allows me to do this :) so maybe give sports a chance to further connect with your body
I really like your gaze, is is so soft and calming, but also sharp and penetrative!
I really enjoy your videos and the thoughtful and insightful point of view you share. watching them is always a pleasure to me on multiple levels! I also really enjoy your style :)
Thank you for creating lovely thought provoking content🐛
Thanks for sharing this. I have never met anyone who has openly spoken about their experience with gender dysphoria before. This video gives me more compassion for what it must be like
I am a 16 year old AMAB who is currently questioning and leaning towards being a trans woman. The idea of puberty makes me a bit uncomfortable knowing that the longer I decide to wait on it the harder it will be to fully transition or half it if I turn out to be non-binary. Seeing you come out about your detransition and showing ways to enjoy the moments pre-transition does help me put ease on myself. Although, if I'm being perfectly honest, I never really had an experience where I enjoyed my masculine body. I never liked having a V-Chest, I never liked having wide shoulders, I HATED getting my hair cut as a kid and still kinda do, I also hate having body hair + facial hair. The only times I did enjoy it were mainly focused on my head area (I happen to be pretty handsome for guy standards) I especially enjoy it when I get the chance to have longer hair than usual before eventually being pressured to trim it by my parents. I do wonder if there does exist another way to enjoy myself currently, considering how much work it would take socially and physically to transition, at least for the time being. I also definitely should learn how to meditate. ^^'
mindfulness is the same as Buddha, which means awake, i believe. i am a baby Buddha, meaning i have just discovered the teachings. i hear it can lead to superpowers. good luck with it.
thank you for sharing
Vielen Dank für das Video :)
Grazie. Grazie. Grazie.
I love this
I love this series of meditations: self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3-2/
You was diagnosed cause they are very similar gender dysphoria and dysmorphia...dysmorphia can lead to transition and you thought this is gender dysphoria cause of the similarities
Im a trans girl..here's the thing..no matter how many therapists tell you you have GD....even if you were diagnosed with it 70 times...you dont have gender Dysphoria that's not scientifically possible..you could have dysmorphia not Dysphoria...i really hope you're happier this way...youre really beautiful and i support you.
what's the difference between dysphoria and dysmorphia, then?
@@blaue_blue Dysmorphia is being uncomfortable in your body period.
Dysphoria on the other hand is being uncomfortable with your sex. Obviously youd be uncomfortable with aspects of your body that make you your birth sex.
@@sahara.5208
Absolutely not. I'd always compare myself to men and be distressed I wasn't like them. I changed my personality, the way I walked, used my chest voice, went on testosterone. While I used to have chest dysphoria it went away with time, thought I still would've got it just to fit in had I not realized I'm detrans. Hell there was even a time I wanted to get three surgeries down there, and didn't want to date anyone till I had the full set. Like many, it was four years of absolute pain all for nothing... now what do I do? I have no idea..
This video is being shared around by transphobes and TERFs, by the way.
I can't influence who is sharing around my video. But much more interesting: Do you think this video is transphobic? I'd love to hear your opinion!
@@nelemil6893 No, I don't think this video is transphobic. It's your personal experience and advice, which is why I thought to write the comment to say it was being shared for that political reason you probably disagree with. It's only being shared by them because of their views that transition is always negative and never helpful, additionally the view that a majority or at least a large amount of people who seek transition regret it then detransition. (I don't think you hold these beliefs of course, but you might see why the video is shared as an example)
@@nelemil6893 while you can't change who shares the video, you could edit in a disclaimer in the description if you felt it necessary to explain you disagree with people who misinterpreted your video.
@@psider1522 I am glad to hear that you don't see this video as transphobic, that is what counts for me.
Tbh I think that this topic is so controversial, it is very normal that there are many different opinions out there. I find it important to stay open about this diversity in perpectives and discuss, agree, disagree, manifest our opinions or even change them sometimes. As long as there is no hate involved.
I think since you understood my opinion and view from watching my video I don't need to clarify that I disagree with other people. It would feel like shutting people down before even listening to them.
🤓🤓🤓🤓
So you never really had gender dysphoria? Because that will not just go away by ignoring it, the only cure is hormones and sugerys, and accept from people you love, this sound like body dysmorphia, i didnt like you chest becuase that made you feel less thin, and you though T would make you thinner and not that curvey, not gender dysphoria.
I felt uncomfortable in my female body, hated my breasts and my hips and i felt horrible being perceived as female by my surroundings. So the symptoms of what you call gender dysphoria and dysmorphia seem to be exactly the same. But how is it possible to tell the difference then? As I said, I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by three different specialists. What did you see in my video that made you able to diagnose me better than they did?
Saying that hormones and surgery are the only cure to gender dysphoria is incredibly harmful. If you say that I got a wrong diagnosis, there must be a huge number of people getting a misdiagnosed too. And this mentality will make them undergo irreversible treatments that they will feel bad about eventually.
Also, cross-sex-hormones have many side effects and no proper long term studies. This can't be the only solution, people with gender dysphoria deserve better than this.
@@nelemil6893 I feel you like being a girl because of that you don't feel happy enough with t maybe you hate your body but I don't think you see yourself as man like transmen so like me I wish to have t and do the surgery not because I hate my breast it because I feel more myself without it and by having t make me feel better because I always feel manly inside so you should know what you feel inside and if you ok being a girl it's fine not bad thing alot girls who more like tomboy and having bf like any girl so knowing who you are is important and thanks
@@nelemil6893 and we have t and the surgery to feel ourselves better like what we feel inside as always so I hope you understand that not all transmen agree having no t or surgery.
Wrong wrong wrong. You have been sold a narrative that is a LIE.
Gender dysphoria is not set in stone. Studies in the past show (before we pushed the gender affirming approach) that the vast majority of children grow out of these feelings, or simply turn out to be gay or lesbian, IF left to watchful waiting and IF they were not shamed and Bullied for their gender non conformity.
Every lesbian I know, like me, were children who would have been considered “trans” by today’s standards. We were tomboys, we wanted to be boys and we are all butch as adults. The difference is, we grew out of out discomfort, we recovered from out traumas and we embraced being butch women who loved women.
I’m 47 and i was that child, I was that teen. I’m now an adult and I barely recognise who I was back then.
We are not born in the wrong body, we do not need to change to fit it, but when you are a child/teenager you quite simply don’t realise that.
It can take YEARS to realise it’s society that needs to change.
Biology is a fucking fact. Gender non conformity doesn’t need curing. Gender stereotypes are archaic, suffocating and misogynistic.
We need to change our toxic society that wants us to hate ourselves and to feed off of that.
@@genderrebeljo3051 it's not about just feeling it's who you are and your birth gender can't change the fact that you being yourself so you should respect trans people as humans who being themselves and there's nothing wrong with that and trans men never become as womens even before so you should know the facts and who they are so if they are explained there feeling dosent makes them not man like cis men and everyone should be able to be happy by the way they are so I hope everyone understands that before judge others